Pick posted:

Pastry of the Year posted:

post something funny.

The_White_Crane posted:

I cannot tell what either of those foods are.

On the left we have... some rice? And courgettes, I think. And do I see bits of roast potato? Some curly things that look like they could be either meat or pastry, probably meat. Maybe some mushrooms in at the back?

On the right we have... Is it fish? Or maybe pork belly? On top of... uh... I'm gonna guess there's some tomato down there. Some yellowy thin stuff, maybe bell peppers? All floating in what looks kind of like orange juice? There's some green stuff, can't tell what that is. Spinach?



Both meals look pretty horrible.

Control Volume posted:

*looking at one of the most ubiquitous seafood items on earth* hmm this could be uh.. *squints harder* uh..... a small pastry.

Peanut Butler posted:

quarantine hollerin in the internet nursing home

The Maestro posted:

Real ballsy to contribute to a derail, get made fun of for it, then request other people pick up the thread again, and then continue on with the derail two posts later.

The General posted:

There's an episode of Voyager where everybody bleeds from the eyes, and some people hang from the ceiling and bleed from the eyes. I want to say it's the one where they find the Ocampan space station, and the leader unlocks Kes' ability to make people bleed from the eyes. Strange power, but okay.

Pastry of the Year posted:

Elise is a fantastic poster; that's not even open for debate

quote:

First things first: we actually do know what elves called their dicks, because even the glorious JRRT couldn't keep his hands out of his pants. The poetic term (yes, elves seem to have engaged in erotic poetry) would be gwî, but for everyday usage gwib was the preferred term. Puntl is provided as the coarse, moderately transgressive term, and likely what you would be invited to suck if you went down on a male elf. Alas, due to the ban on the Noldorin language, we have no surviving slang for Fëanor's johnson.

90s Cringe Rock posted:

elise the great is pretty great

Fleta Mcgurn posted:

hole elf dick anal

elise the great posted:

It’s wild to me that people think that kind of story is over the top and obviously gimmicky rather than deeply concerning, but I think a lot of folks are blessedly innocent of what life is like and how many horrible, haunting things happen daily all around them. Still, derails gotta die, funny quotes gotta roll, I’m going back in my lurkhole now.

Lobok posted:

But all my gyros are meat!

Picnic Princess posted:

One of them actually isn't.

Fleta Mcgurn posted:

~and then a gyro comes along
With a sauce to sprinkle on~

fall sick and die posted:

I don't know how to deal with this at the moment. All kinds of thoughts are flying through my brain, dealing with some pretty serious confusion/angst. My wife was acting strangely, everything was fine but she seemed nervous and out of place. I finally confronted her about it and she told me, "I feel like I'm going to cry. Why are you growing that mustache?" I tried to play it off as nothing, "It's just a mustache, come on, does it really bother you that I've grown a little mustache?" She wouldn't have it. Her eyes literally were tearing up as she told me stuff like, "You look like a bad man." and "When I look at you now I feel very bad inside, like something is very wrong." I'm not joking, and I'm not exaggerating, this was what it was actually like.

I got a little incensed and told her that if I want to grow a mustache, why can't I? Who cares? She started telling me that "people" would think I looked like an idiot, they would talk about me behind my back, that no one would take me seriously and that my job, our small business, all kinds of things would start falling apart. She was in tears by this point, telling me that she felt like I was showing her a different side of myself she had never seen before. I laughed at this, and said she was being melodramatic, it was just a stupid mustache grown on a joke, but she wouldn't let go of it. She was so upset about it that I got real huffy, and went in and shaved it off right there. "Oh what are you doing, you don't have to do that." she said lamely unconvincingly. "Yes I do, because you literally just made me, so don't pretend that now that I've done it that I didn't have to do it, because a minute ago it was making you cry just to look at me."

We were pretty cold to each other the rest of the day, she'd try to blow past it but I felt like it was a pretty big deal. Could she not let me be me? What's the big deal about a little irreverence? As we left the house later to go run some errands, two guys and a girl on the elevator started talking about me right in front of me, thinking I didn't understand. "Say hello to the white guy, go on, say hello." "Oh no I can't, he will think I am trying to seduce him! Haha!" and then they'd giggle because of course to talk to a foreigner is ridiculous. Finally one said an unconvincing hello and I started saying real loud, "Wow your English is so good! Wow, great English! Did you study in America?? Hello! That's great, just like an American!" I was so upset about the mustache I started lashing out. They looked down at their feet in what I take to be shame, and I started talking in Chinese to my wife just to let them know that I'd understood everything they'd said.

As we left the elevator I told her how upset I was, that here in China, living as a foreigner in this place where there are so few other foreigners, I was used to people staring at me, treating me like a zoo exhibition rather than a real person. But when she started saying, "People will think you look terrible" what she really meant was that she herself thinks this. I told her that no matter what, people are going to think ridiculous things about me, but I expected better of her, thought that at least around her I didn't need to worry about people judging me for how I look rather than who I am. She started crying and I was still angry, so I didn't comfort her. She asked if I hated her, and I told her of course not, don't ever think something like that.

A few days of Hitler mustache caused probably one of the biggest arguments I have ever had with my wife (the other big one was about any future children attending Chinese public school). I... had to shave it off. I wish I didn't but I had to make a choice, and I assure you that she wasn't just annoyed or irked by my peculiarity, she was legitimately freaking out that I was growing this mustache. So I'm out of the contest... I can't do it. I can't put my wife through it, even though I know that morally I'm in the right, I have to make the compromise, I have to think about her.

For those of you still in this competition... you're gonna have to keep going without me. I led the pack at the beginning, I showed you the way. The flame that burns brightest burns fastest, and this shooting star blazed across the world with an unrepentant Hitler mustache... if only for a few days. If you're young... if you're unencumbered by human relationships, by dignity or regular employment, by society's false standards of beauty... please keep going, please make it to the end. Do what I was unable to do. I can't criticize you anymore, I can't lead you anymore. All I can do is tell you to keep going further, delving deeper, finding new ways to own the world and everyone in it. I don't know if I'll ever post on LF again after this. I'm twenty eight years old and married, thinking about how to support my future family. If I can't be all in, I don't want to try. I wish you all the best in life, I loved all of you in my way, I can't be an internet revolutionary anymore, I made a choice to be with this woman and I have to honor my vow. I'm not going to sit on the sidelines, I've got too much dignity. Maybe I'll go back to GBS fakeposting. Maybe I'll just read TVIV threads and count how many times people mention Firefly even though it was cancelled like a decade ago and think about how funny it is but never ever tell anyone. I don't know what the future holds for me but... it's not going to be great and it's not going to be special, and I guess I'm OK with that.

09/13/2010 - Hitler Mustache Forever

Captain Monkey posted:

Me as I’m reading through this - Yeah, why’s she so mad at him growing a mustache, who ca—

*me getting about halfway through* - oh. Oh god.

A HUNGRY MOUTH posted:

Jenny Agutter posted:

lmfao what a thread

BIG BABY JESUS posted:

DAY 14:

still no mo

Jenny Agutter posted:

just remembered the funniest goon contest

literally a hog posted:

Boomerjinks had to rush in and ruin everyones fun. He was the top Ghostbusters nerd with the inaccurate replica Ectomobile made from a modified Subaru hatchback

dumb. posted:

Nastyman posted:

Death by Snoo Snoo

literally a hog posted:

At some point Wishes for Death dropped the gimmick only posts got made a mod of LF. I thought he went crazy over DocEvil letting Rorschach gently caress with the forum before they deleted LF, but it looks like he was still posting in 2016 and then disappeared forever.

A HUNGRY MOUTH posted:

several of the participants were young college dudes whose facial hair grew at a rate of nanometers per year

Telsa Cola posted:

My facial hair started coming in highschool and I distinctly remember going from "Whoa this is awesome" to "Man this loving sucks you are telling me I have to shave daily!?" In the span of a couple months.

So I envy them.

Inceltown posted:

I got face hair early but also can not grow a beard / mo / whatever. I am in patchy facial hair hell.

Inceltown posted:

I got face hair early but also can not grow a beard / mo / whatever. I am in patchy facial hair hell.