[Book] Name of Goods: The Book of C-SPAM

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > C-SPAM > [Book] Name of Goods: The Book of C-SPAM

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Giga Gaia: May 2, 2006; 360 kickflip to... Meteo?!

TheHoosier posted:

still want a copy

# ? Jun 24, 2020 16:24

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# ? May 20, 2024 10:41

HUGE PUBES A PLUS: Apr 30, 2005

TheHoosier posted:

still want a copy

# ? Jun 24, 2020 16:35

tangy yet delightful: Sep 13, 2005

Gonna cherish this gangtag till I die.

You should make a Kickstarter perhaps?

# ? Jun 24, 2020 16:38

DMCrimson: Jan 2, 2005; Nap Ghost

twoday running out of the forums with the book under his arm like the Library of Alexandria burning

# ? Jun 24, 2020 17:06

DMCrimson: Jan 2, 2005; Nap Ghost

TheHoosier posted:

still want a copy

# ? Jun 24, 2020 17:06

twoday: May 4, 2005; C-SPAM Times best-selling author

I am currently looking at printing options, does anyone know of any good ones? I don't want to be scammed out of my money like I was with the internet store

# ? Jun 24, 2020 20:33

twoday: May 4, 2005; C-SPAM Times best-selling author

twoday posted:

if I ever finish the c-spam book and sell it I will donate 10% of the profit to RAINN

# ? Jun 24, 2020 20:41

Nebakenezzer: Sep 13, 2005; The Mote in God's Eye

So for now considering where you are on the book AND being a mod in this transitional time should I cut out the "bringing up stuff that might be useful?"

I can tell you as far as recording TRAMP's most deranged moments, the opening monologes of Steven Colbert and Seth Myers are good, so there's a source if you need it

# ? Jun 27, 2020 00:10

cda: Jan 2, 2010; by Hand Knit

twoday posted:

I am currently looking at printing options, does anyone know of any good ones? I don't want to be scammed out of my money like I was with the internet store

I've heard lulu.com is ok? I have no personal experience with them though. Maybe people in the Creative Convention would know

# ? Jun 27, 2020 00:46

Egg Moron: Jul 21, 2003; the dreams of the delighting void

twoday posted:

I am currently looking at printing options, does anyone know of any good ones? I don't want to be scammed out of my money like I was with the internet store

use the copy machine at work

# ? Jun 27, 2020 01:02

Ayin: Jan 6, 2010; Have a great day.

twoday posted:

I am currently looking at printing options, does anyone know of any good ones? I don't want to be scammed out of my money like I was with the internet store

Cafepress apparently still makes books although there's not much in the way of binding/etc options

# ? Jun 27, 2020 05:26

ExtraQuiet: Apr 25, 2016; by Shine

I've been following the lol thread since it started, and have only caught glimpses of this book in the trpmo thread,
but I really appreciate what you're doing, and working with ink and quill (or STEEL PEN as it is also known) is a rad, messy, fun adventure.
Calligraphy is neat and stress relieving, but sometimes you just gotta splash some ink around and not be afraid to make an absolute mess.

Here's one item I found that was a game changer - "Masking Fluid."
(the stuff I used was milky and almost like a thin glue - no idea what the clear stuff is like.)
It's a liquid latex that dries and then acts like masking tape.
You could also consider it a "liquid stencil"
To remove it, you peel up a corner, it will ball up and stick it to itself, leaving whatever was drawn underneath untouched.

rock on

as far as a printer goes, I'd look into options closest to you and span out from there & assess cost. If it were me, I would rather personally pick up a bulk of books and ship them off one by one instead of paying for a bulk shipment to be sent to me (books are heavy.)

# ? Jun 30, 2020 05:52

Nebakenezzer: Sep 13, 2005; The Mote in God's Eye

KRUGMAN: Thinking about the course of the Covid-19 pandemic in America, I found myself remembering Sam Smith�s history of the march to war in Iraq, told entirely in official lies. So here�s a modest attempt to do the same for the coronavirus, with statements from officials and right-wing media. I�ve grouped the statements by topic, and used chronological order within each topic.

quote:

The course of the pandemic

We think we have it very well under control. We have contained this. I won�t say airtight, but pretty close to airtight. We have done a good job in the United States.

It�s going to disappear. One day, like a miracle, it�s going to disappear. At worst � worst case scenario � it could be the flu.

We�re prepared, and we�re doing a great job with it.

It�s going to go away � when you look at the kind of numbers that you�re seeing coming out of other countries, it�s pretty amazing when you think of it.

This is a pandemic. I felt it was a pandemic long before it was called a pandemic.

It looks like we�ll be at about a 60,000 mark, which is 40,000 less than the lowest number thought of.

Minimal numbers were going to be 100,000 people. And we�re going to be, hopefully, far below that.

So we have between 100 and 200,000, and we altogether have done a very good job.

Medical treatment

Hydrochloroquine and azithromycin, taken together, have a chance to be one of the biggest game changers in the history of medicine.

I see the disinfectant that knocks it out in a minute, one minute. And is there a way we can do something like that by injection inside or almost a cleaning?

Reopening

I would love to have the country opened up and raring to go by Easter.

You can�t just come in and say let�s close up the United States of America, the biggest, the most successful country in the world by far.

[Caution about reopening] is not an acceptable answer.

The plot against Trump

It looks like the coronavirus is being weaponized as yet another element to bring down Donald Trump � The coronavirus is the common cold, folks.

This is yet another attempt to impeach the president.

There�s no good reason to keep any part of the country completely closed unless that is, you don�t want America to recover, at least while Trump is president.

Governors

Governor Abbott, when you look at the job he�s doing in Texas, I rely on his judgment.

Ron DeSantis had the right coronavirus response � but the media won�t tell you that.

Testing

Anybody that needs a test, gets a test � And the tests are beautiful.

I don�t take any responsibility at all [for inadequate testing].

We�ve tested more than every country combined.

Cases are going up in the U.S. because we are testing far more than any other country, and ever expanding. With smaller testing we would show fewer cases!

When you do testing to that extent, you�re going to find more people, you�re going to find more cases. So I said to my people, �Slow the testing down, please!�

Masks

Can you take [your mask] off, because I cannot hear you � OK, you want to be politically correct.

Masks are a double-edge sword. People touch them. And they grab them and I see it all the time. They come in, they take the mask. Now they�re holding it now in their fingers. And they drop it on the desk and then they touch their eye and they touch their nose. � I see Biden. It�s like his whole face is covered. It�s like he put a knapsack over his face.

It�s his choice to wear a mask. It�s the personal choice of any individual whether to wear a mask or not.

The Sunbelt surge

Cases have stabilized over the past two weeks, with the daily average case rate across the U.S. dropping to 20,000 � down from 30,000 in April and 25,000 in May.

There is no second wave coming. It�s just hot spots.

Anthony Fauci, not lying

We are now having 40-plus-thousand new cases a day. I would not be surprised if we go up to 100,000 a day if this does not turn around, and so I am very concerned.

# ? Jul 2, 2020 16:14

HUGE PUBES A PLUS: Apr 30, 2005

https://twitter.com/ChironArmand/status/1278895472107761664

:hellyeah:

quote:

After the prayer songs, Scott picked up a stack of paper, on it, the names of countless people killed by police. She called out their names; the small crowd repeated them.The ceremony ended with an incantation of the word �as�,� a Yoruba term and philosophical concept meaning the power to make change happen. �Our ancestors gave us access to the tradition, and it�s our ancestors that help us maintain the tradition,� explained Scott. �Now these men and women have become part of that realm.�

# ? Jul 3, 2020 13:34

Nebakenezzer: Sep 13, 2005; The Mote in God's Eye

quote:

The title [to this 1960s Star Trek episode] is based on an anonymous Greek proverb often wrongly attributed to Euripides[1], and quoted by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow in The Masque of Pandora: "Whom the gods would destroy they first make mad."

Seducing Yvonne Craig painted green is something that happened in between

# ? Jul 3, 2020 18:37

Giga Gaia: May 2, 2006; 360 kickflip to... Meteo?!

twoday posted:

I am currently looking at printing options, does anyone know of any good ones? I don't want to be scammed out of my money like I was with the internet store

employ a cadre of cspam monks to manually transcribe each copy onto vellum. you can pay them in vodka and threats of banning

# ? Jul 3, 2020 18:39

twoday: May 4, 2005; C-SPAM Times best-selling author

I have been busy and not had much time to make artwork but feel free to keep posting whatever interesting stuff here

# ? Jul 4, 2020 16:51

Flavius Aetass: Mar 30, 2011

this mirror image of The Triumph of Death just knocks it out of the park

# ? Jul 7, 2020 13:40

twoday: May 4, 2005; C-SPAM Times best-selling author

Oh damnit I was working on a sketch like that

It�s different enough

# ? Jul 7, 2020 14:59

Nebakenezzer: Sep 13, 2005; The Mote in God's Eye

So lately I've been enjoying Totalus Rankium American Presidents.It's good if you want a light yet informative podcast on that subject - the story of Franklin Pierce remains weirdly relevent

Anyway, today I learned Andrew Jackson dresses like a vampire in his official portrait. The one glove thing is a refrence to once of Jackson's arms being semi-functional (dueling wound, naturally:)

Here Jackson wears his darker-than-black fuligin suit

Though VP [for a while] and noted gigantic rear end in a top hat John C. Calhoun looks like a supervillian. That facial hair, it's like he only shaved the parts of his face that his collar didn't cover:

To be fair that picture is later than his VP-tenure, here is his official portrait:

I mean seriously, evil muppets are less overtly evil

And he is known to have a personal crest, and it is thus:

Also haev ad looking for nuclear weapon designers

Also also have a John Brown:

# ? Jul 7, 2020 20:13

twoday: May 4, 2005; C-SPAM Times best-selling author

Beardless John Brown no less! Calhoun�s neck beard makes it look like he is a werewolf attempting to shave to look like a normal person. That Jackson portrait is very unusual among presidential portraits for not having him holding or near a piece of paper.

# ? Jul 7, 2020 20:21

Nebakenezzer: Sep 13, 2005; The Mote in God's Eye

Yeah, the only images I've seen of John Brown is him beardless but I guess Harper's Ferry John Brown was rocking a full Moses beard?

twoday posted:

That Jackson portrait is very unusual among presidential portraits for not having him holding or near a piece of paper.

Neat, I had no idea these things had conventions.

# ? Jul 7, 2020 20:38

twoday: May 4, 2005; C-SPAM Times best-selling author

It came up in this video from a PBS youtube series I�ve been watching about artwork which is pretty good

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-VDVo9akCiQ

This one about Antarctic Lenin was also kind of cool:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gNBOO_ggypg

# ? Jul 7, 2020 21:58

Raine: Apr 30, 2013; ACCELERATIONIST SUPERDOOMER

Nebakenezzer posted:

Yeah, the only images I've seen of John Brown is him beardless but I guess Harper's Ferry John Brown was rocking a full Moses beard?

# ? Jul 8, 2020 01:20

Nebakenezzer: Sep 13, 2005; The Mote in God's Eye

Funion posted:

He was right

Buchanan's portrait is a little weird. Portraits are done only after the president has left the white house or died. This is usually a year or two after. Buchanan's portrait is done 50 years after, and puts him in a black suit in a black background, so he looks disembodied

# ? Jul 8, 2020 01:28

dead gay comedy forums: Oct 21, 2011

john brown loving rules so much goddamn

# ? Jul 8, 2020 03:35

Nebakenezzer: Sep 13, 2005; The Mote in God's Eye

This might be useful: Monsterium

A PBS youtube series on the origins of monster stories in myth and culture

# ? Jul 9, 2020 17:25

twoday: May 4, 2005; C-SPAM Times best-selling author

Awesome! I also got a book of ornate lettering this weekend.

I�m thinking of printing the book in hardcover, does anyone want softcover?

# ? Jul 12, 2020 09:16

twoday: May 4, 2005; C-SPAM Times best-selling author

I heard that there was a comet visible in the sky between now and mid-August and so I've been watching the skies. They were exceptionally clear last night, and I started looking around and spotting some unusual celestial objects.

Mars:

Venus:

Comet!!!!!

Reminded me of this:

This is from the header of a news article from 1664 which describes "3 remarkable events" of that year. The first was the plague, which killed 10% of the city. Then there was the comet, and we all know comets are ill omens that bring foul tidings. The third was the stripping of the leaves from the trees, probably related to a strong hurricane season in the north Atlantic. Well, that season is just about to start, so let's see if the cycle repeats itself.

I will update the book to include a mention of the comet.

twoday has issued a correction as of 04:13 on Jul 13, 2020

# ? Jul 13, 2020 04:09

DarkEuphoria: Nov 7, 2012

I feel like Cuomo�s poster oddly fits the theme pretty well. maybe the book needs a �c-spam tough� or �Covid tough� poster of its own!

https://twitter.com/nygovcuomo/status/1282865048889827329?s=21

also twoday, i saw you mention in another thread that you�re considering publishing earlier for funds reasons. I bet some folks would be willing to pay up for a preorder. I would! I know it can be rough to estimate costs before you have the materials and practice with the labor involved, but maybe something to consider.

# ? Jul 15, 2020 10:12

Nebakenezzer: Sep 13, 2005; The Mote in God's Eye

So, we're in a time now where the plot of Jaws replayed itself, with Dr. Fauchi as the Sheriff, Trump as the dumb-as-gently caress mayor, and the shark as itself

Who's the sea captain who gives a career-making performance only to die before the movie is even released?

# ? Jul 15, 2020 19:00

ekuNNN: Nov 27, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

DarkEuphoria posted:

I feel like Cuomo�s poster oddly fits the theme pretty well. maybe the book needs a �c-spam tough� or �Covid tough� poster of its own!

https://twitter.com/nygovcuomo/status/1282865048889827329?s=21

also twoday, i saw you mention in another thread that you�re considering publishing earlier for funds reasons. I bet some folks would be willing to pay up for a preorder. I would! I know it can be rough to estimate costs before you have the materials and practice with the labor involved, but maybe something to consider.

https://twitter.com/KM12021978/status/1283441850498650113

# ? Jul 15, 2020 19:03

Peanut President: Nov 5, 2008; by Athanatos

Nebakenezzer posted:

So, we're in a time now where the plot of Jaws replayed itself, with Dr. Fauchi as the Sheriff, Trump as the dumb-as-gently caress mayor, and the shark as itself

Who's the sea captain who gives a career-making performance only to die before the movie is even released?

bernie

# ? Jul 15, 2020 19:16

ex post facho: Oct 25, 2007

twoday posted:

Awesome! I also got a book of ornate lettering this weekend.

I’m thinking of printing the book in hardcover, does anyone want softcover?

I will buy the hardcover, softcover, Kindle Direct, .PDF, loose-leaf, microfiche and ethereal versions, personally

# ? Jul 15, 2020 19:18

ex post facho: Oct 25, 2007

I assume there will also be a new trumpstament and old trumpstament copy

# ? Jul 15, 2020 19:19

2DCAT: Jun 25, 2015; pissssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss ssssssss sssssssssssssssssss sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss ssssss ssssssssssssssssssssssssssss sssssssssssssss; Gravy Boat 2k

I want my book!!!!

# ? Jul 15, 2020 19:23

Nebakenezzer: Sep 13, 2005; The Mote in God's Eye

Woodrow Wilson apparently:

1. Never made a single statement about the Spanish Flu

2. Caught said flu in April 1919, when he was at Versailles negotiating the infamous treaty

3. That's really late, Wilson caught the Spanish Flu in its last, mildest wave

4. It still shithoused the man and affected his mind. He'd have his stroke six months later

Anyway, let me just say #1 is STRONG EMPIRICAL EVIDENCE the Spanish flu never happened*

*or maybe Wilson was not very good at presidenting

Peanut President posted:

bernie

# ? Jul 15, 2020 20:06

Blotto_Otter: Aug 16, 2013

DarkEuphoria posted:

also twoday, i saw you mention in another thread that you’re considering publishing earlier for funds reasons. I bet some folks would be willing to pay up for a preorder. I would!

same, please show me where to put money, i do not even require a firm guarantee of product delivery, i have already gotten a ton of entertainment from this thread and i will give money for nothing more than a vague noncommittal kickstartery pledge to attempt to finish the book some day

(failing that, is the TINNUTS podcast patreon still an adequate way of getting a few bucks to you, twoday?)

ex post facho posted:

I will buy the hardcover, softcover, Kindle Direct, .PDF, loose-leaf, microfiche and ethereal versions, personally

all of these plus the .pdb and an old Palm VII off of ebay on which to load it

# ? Jul 15, 2020 20:52

etalian: Mar 20, 2006

Flavius Aetass posted:

this mirror image of The Triumph of Death just knocks it out of the park

# ? Jul 15, 2020 20:54

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# ? May 20, 2024 10:41

twoday: May 4, 2005; C-SPAM Times best-selling author

So there are two ways I could go about this.

The first is the traditional way, getting a printer like Print Ninja, where I have to order a minimum of 250 books and pay upfront. It seems like the quality would be high, and it would be cheaper, but then I have to fork up several thousand dollars upfront (I am broke af and behind on rent so that's not really an option), and then I could sign them, and edit them by hand and do some other nice things to them. But besides the main problem with this of having to pay up front, there is another problem - that I don't know how many copies I would sell. So I might end up with either too few or too many. Another problem is shipping, this would make the shipping really expensive because I have to ship them from europe (18 euros per book).

The other option is to use a company like lulu, which is a quite a bit more expensive per book (so I will make less money off of it unless I jack up the price), and I think the quality of the books will be slightly less nice, but they print on demand and then also ship the book (and also list it on sites like amazon and barnes and noble, lol), so the shipping is much cheaper because the books never pass through my hands. Then I can't sign them either, or do some other stuff I wanted to do to them.

Right now the second option seems like the easiest. But I guess I could make a kickstarter or something and try for the first option. If I do a kickstarter I can make tiers. For instance there was one goon who keeps offering me 200 bucks to make a handbound super fancy version, and I was thinking I could emboss a leather cover with the trump face and some nice leafing or something, really trump it up.

Thoughts?

twoday has issued a correction as of 22:32 on Jul 16, 2020

# ? Jul 16, 2020 22:24

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > C-SPAM > [Book] Name of Goods: The Book of C-SPAM

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