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I've done everything the Bible says, even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff!
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Dec 8, 2020 02:04
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well, glad to see covid is doing a great job getting republicans on the state and local level at least 
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Dec 8, 2020 02:04
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this says the bibble
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Dec 8, 2020 03:31
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Mr Interweb posted:well, glad to see covid is doing a great job getting republicans on the state and local level at least https://twitter.com/BadCOVID19Takes/status/1336015902307913730?s=20
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Dec 8, 2020 03:47
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Pththya-lyi posted:I've done everything the Bible says, even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff! Read your book! Austin 3:16 will sort you out
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Dec 8, 2020 04:04
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https://twitter.com/antihobbes/status/1336027866786480128?s=21
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Dec 8, 2020 04:13
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Absolutely amazing. They've gaslit themselves to the point where they're looking truth in the face and claim it doesn't exist, incredible.
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Dec 8, 2020 08:00
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the bible’s sick as gently caress, at one point a dude wrestles an angel for no reason and it never comes up again powerful, inspiring, brave
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Dec 8, 2020 14:05
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Pththya-lyi posted:I've done everything the Bible says You really cocked up the early stuff.
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Dec 8, 2020 14:08
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Declan MacManus posted:the bible’s sick as gently caress, at one point a dude wrestles an angel for no reason and it never comes up again Elisha Is Jeered 23 From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some boys came out of the town and jeered at him. “Get out of here, baldy!” they said. “Get out of here, baldy!” 24 He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the Lord. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the boys.
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Dec 8, 2020 15:33
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Teriyaki Hairpiece posted:Elisha Is Jeered This is why they had to nerf rangers in later editions
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Dec 8, 2020 15:38
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You could have said that the bears mauled dozens of boys or about forty of them, but it was important to mark down that there were exactly 42.
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Dec 8, 2020 15:53
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Well yeah, it’s the answer, isn’t it?
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Dec 8, 2020 16:15
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numerrik posted:Well yeah, it’s the answer, isn’t it? *shakes head, vapes out slowly* READ ANOTHER BOOK 
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Dec 8, 2020 16:25
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Got curious about this and googled it. Question: "Why did the Prophet Elisha curse the “youths” for making fun of his baldness (2 Kings 2:23-24)?" Answer: There are a few key issues we must understand in regards to this account of the youths cursing Elisha. The text reads, “From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some youths came out of the town and jeered at him. ‘Go on up, you baldhead!’ they said. ‘Go on up, you baldhead!’ He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the LORD. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the youths.” It seems unbelievable that God would cause two bears to maul a group of children for making fun of a man for being bald. First, the King James Version has done us a disservice by translated the term as “children.” The Hebrew word can refer to children, but rather more specifically means "young men." The NIV, quoted here, uses the word “youths.” Second, the fact that the bears mauled 42 of the youths indicates that there were more than 42 youths involved. This was not a small group of children making fun of a bald man. Rather, it was a large demonstration of young men who assembled for the purpose of mocking a prophet of God. Third, the mocking of “go on up, you baldhead,” is more than making fun of baldness. The baldness of Elisha referred to here may be: 1) natural loss of hair; 2) a shaved head denoting his separation to the prophetic office; or more likely, 3) an epithet of scorn and contempt, Elisha not being literally bald. The phrase “go up” likely was a reference to Elijah, Elisha’s mentor, being taken up to Heaven earlier in 2 Kings chapter 2:11-12. These youths were sarcastically taunting and insulting the Lord’s prophet by telling him to repeat Elijah’s translation. In summary, 2 Kings 2:23-24 is not an account of God mauling young children for making fun of a bald man. Rather, it is a record of an insulting demonstration against God’s prophet by a large group of young men. Because these young people of about 20 years of age or older (the same term is used of Solomon in 1 Kings 3:7) so despised the prophet of the Lord, Elisha called upon the Lord to deal with the rebels as He saw fit. The Lord’s punishment was the mauling of 42 of them by two female bears. The penalty was clearly justified, for to ridicule Elisha was to ridicule the Lord Himself. The seriousness of the crime was indicated by the seriousness of the punishment. The appalling judgment was God’s warning to all who would scorn the prophets of the Lord.
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Dec 8, 2020 17:12
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achieving oneness with Jesus by hootin and hollarin at a tree
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Dec 8, 2020 17:16
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Shut the gently caress up about the Bible, it sucks and so do you.
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Dec 8, 2020 17:16
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forty two yoots
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Dec 8, 2020 17:18
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The Bible owns when you remember it's just the fanfictions of a bunch of nerds who finally got someone to Listen. "oh they're making fun of my bald head, huh?? Well I'll show them, I'll show them all!" Also Rudolph having the covid is very funny and long overdue.
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Dec 8, 2020 17:29
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Hitlerjugend rally BTFO by Antifa superbears
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Dec 8, 2020 17:35
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Slamhound posted:Shut the gently caress up about the Bible, it sucks and so do you. seriously let's get back to posting about dead/dying chuds pls: https://twitter.com/sofain/status/1336324991797743619
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Dec 8, 2020 18:35
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Constipated posted:It seems unbelievable that God would cause two bears to maul a group of children for making fun of a man for being bald. Haha what that does not seem unbelievable at all. Jehovah killed a dude's entire family to win a bet once, and another time he killed every man, woman, and child on earth except for like 12 people E: oh yeah he killed every first born Egyptian just for being Egyptian VitalSigns has issued a correction as of 19:13 on Dec 8, 2020 |
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Dec 8, 2020 19:10
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VitalSigns posted:Haha what that does not seem unbelievable at all. Uhhh I didn't say it was unbelievable.. Do you think I'm defending the bible or something? Lol
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Dec 8, 2020 19:14
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No, I was responding to whatever you were quoting in your post, I wasn't attributing their opinion to you
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Dec 8, 2020 19:17
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Imagine being able to just snap your fingers and two bears come out of the woods to maul people you don't like. Awesome.
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Dec 8, 2020 19:18
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Cocaine Bear posted:Hey what's you favourite Bible verse? The parts where jesus dies, four times.
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Dec 8, 2020 19:26
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VitalSigns posted:E: oh yeah he killed every first born Egyptian just for being Egyptian I thought he killed every first-born Egyptian because um... well because Pharoah was going to relent but then God "hardened his heart" so basically he made Pharoah make him kill every first-born Egyptian. Exodus 9:12.
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Dec 8, 2020 19:35
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Blind squirrel, etc. Yes, "we" will say that. Idiots. God loving dammit these people. "Hey, there's a sign up near the beach warning about several shark sightings. Several people have already been bitten and it looks pretty bad. Maybe don't swim today" "gently caress that. gently caress you! Sharks aren't real. They just don't want us to swim! My family and friends are here for a patriotic 4th of July BBQ at the beach to celebrate freedom. You can't tell me what to do!" *Gets attacked by sharks* "Hmmm....anyone think it's weird that only those drunken belligerent rednecks in the U.S.A. bathing suits got eaten by sharks?"
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Dec 8, 2020 19:54
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Who is this God Person Anyway? Content: https://twitter.com/jonathanvswan/status/1336349687167717379?s=20 Kennel has issued a correction as of 20:05 on Dec 8, 2020 |
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Dec 8, 2020 19:59
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BiggerBoat posted:Blind squirrel, etc. "Yo bro you should have bootstrapped / willed / prayed to god, to keep yourself from not being eaten by a shark."
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Dec 8, 2020 20:49
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mazzi Chart Czar posted:"Yo bro you should have bootstrapped / willed / prayed to god, to keep yourself from not being eaten by a shark." TBH I was expecting a post/avatar joke.
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Dec 8, 2020 21:04
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Megillah Gorilla posted:Definitely the one where someone quotes the chapter and verse but not the text, expecting everyone to go look it up. I'll tell you Matthew 6:5 It says hypocrites pray in public and make it a show. Real holy folks pray alone. It's a great "gently caress you hypocrite" without ever saying it, because Christians don't know their own beliefs.
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Dec 8, 2020 21:36
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JUST MAKE A loving BIBLE THREAD AND gently caress OFF
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Dec 8, 2020 21:38
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Cocaine Bear posted:JUST MAKE A loving BIBLE THREAD AND gently caress OFF Do you have any idea what happens to apostates?
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Dec 8, 2020 22:25
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Mr Interweb posted:seriously Y'all Qaeda looking mother fucker
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Dec 8, 2020 22:29
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BiggerBoat posted:TBH I was expecting a post/avatar joke. Farewell and adieu, to ye drunk shouting Yankees Farewell and adieu, to ye pains in the ask For I've received orders for to lockdown for Covid But you're gonna die, cause ye won't wear yer mask
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Dec 8, 2020 22:34
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Cocaine Bear posted:JUST MAKE A loving BIBLE THREAD AND gently caress OFF When the spirit of the lord is inside of you, all threads are Bible threads. Now if you'll excuse me I need to spread the hope of the gospel to those ignorant heathens in Coupons and Deals.
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Dec 8, 2020 22:56
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Have you ever read the gnostic gospel of Botha?
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Dec 8, 2020 23:46
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Antifa Turkeesian posted:Have you ever read the gnostic gospel of Botha? i dont know what's a gnostic with you?
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Dec 8, 2020 23:49
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christmas boots posted:i dont know what's a gnostic with you? Lingma balls!
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Dec 8, 2020 23:50
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