Reddit: A fiesta of problematic statements

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Reddit: A fiesta of problematic statements

Pac and Cheese: Oct 29, 2010; gotta walk fast

why do these TIFU stories always gloss over the reaction of whoever walked in when they were doing some over the top embarrassing insane poo poo
they describe in detail how they spilled purple dye all over their junk and that's why they were furiously polishing their purple junk when their manager walked into their office
and then it's like 'he had the most puzzled look on his face'
if you're going to tell a story and even try and pretend that it's real at least give us the aftermath jfc, that's the best part

# ? Jun 11, 2021 04:24

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# ? Jun 8, 2024 23:49

Punkinhead: Apr 2, 2015

Jamie Faith posted:

Found in r/funkopops

https://i.redd.it/jcnv7u5rvjx61.png

Imagine going all "I'm not like *other* girls! I'm one of the cool ones who like funkos!"

I had a roommate like this. They would eat nothing but the cheapest ramen and fish sticks while buying the latest limited edition video game consoles and new funko pops while complaining about being poor, which I really normally wouldn't judge but this roommate would make fun of me for "wasting" money by ordering delivery food when I was too depressed to cook for myself lol.

# ? Jun 11, 2021 04:43

Flannelette: Jan 17, 2010

Mac and Cheese posted:

reddit thread is back guys

30k+ upvotes, 200+ awards

dunno bout you guys but this seems a little implausible to me, if he was just there for dinner why didn't he just go home? did he want to get caught?
this definitely wasn't a creative writing exercise by a teenage girl btw

The "Treat the gear shift like your dick" analogy suddenly breaks down.

# ? Jun 11, 2021 04:44

veni veni veni: Jun 5, 2005

Mac and Cheese posted:

why do these TIFU stories always gloss over the reaction of whoever walked in when they were doing some over the top embarrassing insane poo poo
they describe in detail how they spilled purple dye all over their junk and that's why they were furiously polishing their purple junk when their manager walked into their office
and then it's like 'he had the most puzzled look on his face'
if you're going to tell a story and even try and pretend that it's real at least give us the aftermath jfc, that's the best part

To be fair my mom walked in on me jerking off once when I was a teenager and I would have a hard time describing her reaction, because she was very quickly not in the room anymore. I never had to turn it into creative writing though because it happened in the 90s and there was no reason to tell thousands of strangers about it.

# ? Jun 11, 2021 09:56

Facebook Aunt: Oct 4, 2008; wiggle wiggle

veni veni veni posted:

To be fair my mom walked in on me jerking off once when I was a teenager and I would have a hard time describing her reaction, because she was very quickly not in the room anymore. I never had to turn it into creative writing though because it happened in the 90s and there was no reason to tell thousands of strangers about it.

until now

# ? Jun 11, 2021 10:02

veni veni veni: Jun 5, 2005

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dMjQ3hA9mEA

# ? Jun 11, 2021 10:05

The Modern Leper: Dec 25, 2008; You must be a masochist

Facebook Aunt posted:

until now

Lol if you think this will ever be seen by thousands.

# ? Jun 11, 2021 14:18

RFC2324: Jun 7, 2012; http 418

The Modern Leper posted:

Lol if you think this will ever be seen by thousands.

It will be archived for future historians

# ? Jun 11, 2021 16:16

Milo and POTUS: Sep 3, 2017; I will not shut up about the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I talk about them all the time and work them into every conversation I have. I built a shrine in my room for the yellow one who died because sadly no one noticed because she died around 9/11. Wanna see it?

https://old.reddit.com/r/UpliftingNews/comments/nxeizi/black_lives_matter_protesters_were_overwhelmingly/

# ? Jun 11, 2021 18:01

ben shapino: Nov 22, 2020

Milo and POTUS posted:

https://old.reddit.com/r/UpliftingNews/comments/nxeizi/black_lives_matter_protesters_were_overwhelmingly/

# ? Jun 11, 2021 20:18

je1 healthcare: Sep 29, 2015

Theophany posted:

tbh i'm still confused about why 'centrist' was the go to "insult" for terminally online people in the first place because its now lost any sick burn value it once had and really just means "more reasonable than my insane screed"

No you see, centrists believe in genociding only *half* the jews, which I learned in a meme. That's a thing they believe in.

# ? Jun 12, 2021 01:06

Jamie Faith: Jan 13, 2020

je1 healthcare posted:

No you see, centrists believe in genociding only *half* the jews, which I learned in a meme. That's a thing they believe in.

No, they just believe the solutions to the problems are just as bad as the problem themselves and thus, will never support actual change and in fact stand in the way of progress while people die

# ? Jun 12, 2021 01:33

je1 healthcare: Sep 29, 2015

Jamie Faith posted:

No, they just believe the solutions to the problems are just as bad as the problem themselves and thus, will never support actual change and in fact stand in the way of progress while people die

Also accurate, centrists oppose literally all new legislation, and no centrists have given their support to meaningful political changes, ever. At least that's the only reason I can think of why they would disagree with my ideas.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Jun 12, 2021 02:16

Danaru: Jun 5, 2012; 何 ??

je1 healthcare posted:

Also accurate, centrists oppose literally all new legislation, and no centrists have given their support to meaningful political changes, ever. At least that's the only reason I can think of why they would disagree with my ideas.

Correct, yes

# ? Jun 12, 2021 02:21

Jamie Faith: Jan 13, 2020

je1 healthcare posted:

Also accurate, centrists oppose literally all new legislation, and no centrists have given their support to meaningful political changes, ever. At least that's the only reason I can think of why they would disagree with my ideas.

lmao It's so cute how you keep trying to strawman us in order to make us look like the dumb ones but you can't even succeed at that.

# ? Jun 12, 2021 02:34

je1 healthcare: Sep 29, 2015

Jamie Faith posted:

lmao It's so cute how you keep trying to strawman us in order to make us look like the dumb ones but you can't even succeed at that.

It's not a strawman if you agree with me. 'Actual change' by it's very definition cannot have centrists supporting it

# ? Jun 12, 2021 03:06

Jamie Faith: Jan 13, 2020

je1 healthcare posted:

It's not a strawman if you agree with me. 'Actual change' by it's very definition cannot have centrists supporting it

No, I dont agree with you. You said "centrists oppose literally all new legislation", which was your attempt to strawman anti centrists as the ones who strawman others. And yet centrists do support legislation, just more often then not, it's pandering and ineffectual legislation.

Now please stop trying to start another dumb slap fight. This thread just got unlocked yesterday after the last dumb slap fight.

# ? Jun 12, 2021 03:14

Pennywise the Frown: May 10, 2010; Upset Trowel

I just started following this thread about a day before it got closed and it seems you guys are going to get it closed immediately again.

You can't be this stupid.

# ? Jun 12, 2021 04:11

Jestery: Aug 2, 2016; Not a Dickman, just a shape

Pennywise the Frown posted:

I just started following this thread about a day before it got closed and it seems you guys are going to get it closed immediately again.

You can't be this stupid.

Narrator: "they could"

# ? Jun 12, 2021 04:16

Caesar Saladin: Aug 15, 2004

my butthole is centrist, firmly placed in the middle of the left and right wing (cheeks)

# ? Jun 12, 2021 04:18

Ugly In The Morning: Jul 1, 2010; Pillbug

Here, have some super gross Reddit poo poo instead of continuing your slap fight.

quote:

Being a male NEET is more unacceptable than being a female NEET, with good reason

No matter what people say Men and Women are inherently different. The roles their bodies were built for is different. Society might have changed but we are still the same species we were before that occurred. A man is meant to be a provider/protector, whilst a female is meant to be a nurturer. So a lot of female NEETs are actually victims of their own apparent �female liberation.� As society now believes that females should be in formal employment as well. I know people will say some women do not like being reliant on a man or that some women don�t want to have kids. I�d say this is due to social conditioning, with feminist movement making females believe that housewives are oppressed. The reality is majority women would be happier as stay at home mothers.

A lot of people now say they do not want to have children, I believe this is a way to cope. The reality is those that reach old ages will most likely wish they had children. No matter how successful a career you had it is pointless and you failed on a biological level of your line ended with you.

Now back to us males, we have to except that we are failing at our role, and not whine that women have it easier. Because we were built to handle more than them, in terms of endurance and ability to manage stress. I believe why there are a growing number of male NEETs is due to the way in which a job works now. Eating up too much of our time, whilst the pay out is incredibly low. I also feel that due to the Internet we are able to see the lives of those that have it better than us, instagram is filled with people driving lambos and lounging on exotic beaches. This then causes feelings of discontentment and a �what�s the point� mindset.

The biggest reason however I think NEETs is growing in both men and women is due to instant gratification. High speed internet and high sugar food means we are constantly getting dopamine rush�s, with porn being the obvious most dangerous one. This makes the rest of life seem mundane in comparison. It�s hard to go from jerking off to hot women and watching an anime character you see yourself in winning an epic fight to waking up in the morning to go do a meaningless task just so you can continue to exist.

# ? Jun 12, 2021 04:18

Seth Pecksniff: May 27, 2004; can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

Pennywise the Frown posted:

I just started following this thread about a day before it got closed and it seems you guys are going to get it closed immediately again.

You can't be this stupid.

Hi welcome to the SomethingAwful forums are you new here?

# ? Jun 12, 2021 04:40

syntaxfunction: Oct 27, 2010

I loving love reddit :biotruths:

It's always the same thing but with an attempt to present it in a different light, but it's not. It's very reddit.

Personally that's the real reason I transitioned. Not to feel better about myself. It's just to avoid being NEET-shamed. Checkmate redditors.

# ? Jun 12, 2021 04:51

RFC2324: Jun 7, 2012; http 418

syntaxfunction posted:

I loving love reddit

It's always the same thing but with an attempt to present it in a different light, but it's not. It's very reddit.

Personally that's the real reason I transitioned. Not to feel better about myself. It's just to avoid being NEET-shamed. Checkmate redditors.

I do find myself extremely sad that I don't have children to force to go without because we are so poor tho

# ? Jun 12, 2021 05:21

Pennywise the Frown: May 10, 2010; Upset Trowel

low key sex master posted:

Hi welcome to the SomethingAwful forums are you new here?

Why yes and thank you! Please tell me your thoughts on bitcoin and women!

# ? Jun 12, 2021 06:26

Regarde Aduck: Oct 19, 2012; c l o u d k i t t e n; Grimey Drawer

men are better at handling stress by developing crippling mental illness and doing mass shootings

it's that can-do hunter mindset

# ? Jun 12, 2021 06:33

Tagichatn: Jun 7, 2009

Turns out that elephants have breasts, redditors being extremely normal about it:

https://old.reddit.com/r/interestingasfuck/comments/nxohj7/female_elephants_have_breasts_unlike_most_other/?sort=controversial

# ? Jun 12, 2021 07:04

Theophany: Jul 22, 2014; SUCCHIAMI IL MIO CAZZO DA DIETRO, RANA RAGAZZO

2022 FIA Formula 1 WDC

Tagichatn posted:

Turns out that elephants have breasts, redditors being extremely normal about it:

https://old.reddit.com/r/interestingasfuck/comments/nxohj7/female_elephants_have_breasts_unlike_most_other/?sort=controversial

christ alive

# ? Jun 12, 2021 11:28

Ratjaculation: Aug 3, 2007

There's only been a few occasions in this thread where I've decided not to click a link, this is one of them

# ? Jun 12, 2021 11:37

Jestery: Aug 2, 2016; Not a Dickman, just a shape

Some personal Reddit poo poo to try and right this ship

I logged into my Reddit account to try and find some poo poo to post here from my old haunts

I log in

I have 3 messages

1. Asking if I can 3d print them a dildo
2. Asking my opinion on French pocket knives
3. A group chat with 30 people with similar usernames to me

That's a Reddit

# ? Jun 12, 2021 13:54

gbs but from 2004: Oct 24, 2004; wow u rude pig

"i STarTed this TOIlEt Of A tHreaD aNd HAve sOmEHOW aVoidEd A red teXt"

Jestery posted:

Some personal Reddit poo poo to try and right this ship

I logged into my Reddit account to try and find some poo poo to post here from my old haunts

I log in

I have 3 messages

1. Asking if I can 3d print them a dildo
2. Asking my opinion on French pocket knives
3. A group chat with 30 people with similar usernames to me

That's a Reddit

how did you gently caress up so bad that people on Reddit actually started messaging you

# ? Jun 12, 2021 13:58

Jestery: Aug 2, 2016; Not a Dickman, just a shape

gbs but from 2004 posted:

how did you gently caress up so bad that people on Reddit actually started messaging you

I don't know

I last used Reddit in earnest over a year ago, an Reddit didn't have the chat function then

:shrug:

# ? Jun 12, 2021 14:07

Lmao Tzu: Sep 11, 2014

Danaru posted:

Also whenever I mention my husband to someone new I add "And I'm bigger than you so if you start poo poo, I will end it." Which so far has a 100% success rate of preventing poo poo from getting started

drat you�re really cool

# ? Jun 12, 2021 14:36

Danaru: Jun 5, 2012; 何 ??

Lmao Tzu posted:

drat you’re really cool

Thanks!

I like to think so too

# ? Jun 12, 2021 15:12

Colonel Cancer: Sep 26, 2015; Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

There's nothing wrong with 3d printing a dildo unless it's like a really weird one

# ? Jun 12, 2021 16:07

ikanreed: Sep 25, 2009; I honestly I have no idea who cannibal[SIC] is and I do not know why I should know.

syq dude, just syq!

Colonel Cancer posted:

There's nothing wrong with 3d printing a dildo unless it's like a really weird one

You've never seen how plastic flakes off 3d printed things

# ? Jun 12, 2021 16:51

Colonel Cancer: Sep 26, 2015; Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

ikanreed posted:

You've never seen how plastic flakes off 3d printed things

I mean it can just be a decorative dildo just like those walmart katanas :shrug:

# ? Jun 12, 2021 17:32

Calico Heart: Mar 22, 2012; "wich the worst part was what troll face did to sonic's corpse after words wich was rape it. at that point i looked away"

Guys can someone repost what was probably the best r/ post of all time about the girl with the shrine to her dead boyfriend who thought his ghost was possessing her current boyfriend to be reincarnated into their baby

# ? Jun 12, 2021 17:33

RFC2324: Jun 7, 2012; http 418

Colonel Cancer posted:

I mean it can just be a decorative dildo just like those walmart katanas

No such thing as a decorative dildo. They ALWAYS end up getting used.

If someone tells you that they have one that hasn't been used, don't touch it because it actually hasn't been cleaned

# ? Jun 12, 2021 17:40

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# ? Jun 8, 2024 23:49

Colonel Cancer: Sep 26, 2015; Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

A Chekhov's dildo

# ? Jun 12, 2021 18:13

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