[COVID] 1 Million! We did it! :toot: :911:

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > [COVID] 1 Million! We did it! :toot: :911:

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

Epic High Five posted:

that was Jeb!

he ordered all trees not owned by a big business to be torn down to prevent spread of some disease or another to them, it didn't endear him much to people

please clap

# ? Aug 21, 2021 20:48

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# ? May 26, 2024 23:02

empty whippet box: Jun 9, 2004; by Fluffdaddy

Tzen posted:

The hospitalized girl that Eric ping posted about is recovering well
https://www.facebook.com/100000471480270/posts/6674999759192341/

in that case it's totally fine that this happened to her. we should disregard her story as irrelevant because she did not die.

# ? Aug 21, 2021 20:48

DR FRASIER KRANG: Feb 4, 2005; "Are you forgetting that just this afternoon I was punched in the face by a turtle now dead?

Schmoe Cwead posted:

https://twitter.com/PFTompkins/status/1428848598721064962

drat I need to get me some sloppy qwoppy

# ? Aug 21, 2021 20:49

etalian: Mar 20, 2006

Hollismason posted:

If COVID not over why am I eating at a Italian restaurant . Makes no sense.

the call of the Olive Garden unlimited bread stick special

# ? Aug 21, 2021 20:49

Impotence: Nov 8, 2010; Lipstick Apathy

etalian posted:

the call of the Olive Garden unlimited bread stick special

italian restaurant

# ? Aug 21, 2021 20:50

Tzen: Sep 11, 2001

Substandard posted:

I paid in 2007 to join a comedy forum, and now I'm a communist with access to reliable COVID info.

lol since I 2001'ed my regdate I don't remember when I actually joined. I think 2003-4. Anyways, :same:

# ? Aug 21, 2021 20:50

smoobles: Sep 4, 2014

i read that if you ingest enough Alfredo sauce it kills the virus

# ? Aug 21, 2021 20:52

mod sassinator: Dec 13, 2006; I came here to Kick Ass and Chew Bubblegum,
and I'm All out of Ass

etalian posted:

the call of the Olive Garden unlimited bread stick special

excuse me waiter, can i get some horse paste on this salad?

# ? Aug 21, 2021 20:52

etalian: Mar 20, 2006

Biowarfare posted:

italian restaurant

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ViWpM4D5Ktw

# ? Aug 21, 2021 20:53

Tzen: Sep 11, 2001

empty whippet box posted:

in that case it's totally fine that this happened to her. we should disregard her story as irrelevant because she did not die.

lol its sickening that that will be a lot of people's take
SEE KIDS RECOVER FROM COVID JUST FINE!!

# ? Aug 21, 2021 20:53

mastershakeman: Oct 28, 2008; by vyelkin

Petey posted:

my university already had a vaccine mandate for all students/faculty/staff (plus 2x weekly testing and a mask mandate indoors to start the year), and just announced yesterday that vaccination will also be required for all visitors attending any campus events, which is the first i've heard for any institution doing that

Does this include football

# ? Aug 21, 2021 20:55

etalian: Mar 20, 2006

Looks like 2021 recipe Flu shots are available this month so CSAPM can continue their vaccine addictions.

# ? Aug 21, 2021 20:56

Stoop Kid: Jan 17, 2007; Afraid to leave his stoop.

smoobles posted:

i read that if you ingest enough Alfredo sauce it kills the virus

interesting, is boofing as effective as eating in this case

# ? Aug 21, 2021 20:56

RedneckwithGuns: Mar 28, 2007; Up Next:
Fifteen Inches of
SHEER DYNAMITE

Lawlicaust posted:

Waiting for the booster in Florida was a horrifying glimpse into the system falling apart. Most of the staff was out sick at the Walgreens so there were just 2 people + the pharmacist.

One person was manning the drive thru which was 10+ cars long. I could here her says every few minutes �You�ll get your results in about 2 days.� So just a long line of Covid tests. At one point she went to the back to get a box and told the pharmacist �this is the last box.� So running out of Covid tests.

The person manning the window was having to deal with a constant stream of people wanting shots and raging old people that were mad the line was so long.

A group of high school or college students was in front of us: A couple and their friend. The couple wanted to get their first shots. They had an extended back and forth with the pharmacist because they mentioned they were at a party and got exposed:

�If you were exposed and have symptoms you need to wait.�

�But like, we weren�t up in her face or nothing. and I feel fine.�

�When did this happen?�

�Last night.�

The pharmacist asked their friend if she wanted a shot. �Nah, it will make my arm sore and I have a game this week.�

They left without a shot.

Someone behind us recognized a friend sitting in the waiting area and asked if he was here for �That drat shot.� The man responded hell no and they laughed about idiots getting the shot. No masks on either of them.

Two boomers wearing American flag cloth masks hanging from their chins cut to the front of the line to get some sort of medicine. They made comments about people just now getting their shots and how much better they were for getting them in January. Lol, jokes on them.

America is hosed.

WAGS/CVS central stores have been tire fires since they started offering COVID testing and even worse since the vaccine roll out. Do not give them your business if at all possible. They are never adequately staffed and the corporate management doesn't have the wherewithal to do a drat thing to help the situation. We had a local CVS (rural Illinois) this past week that had just a pharmacist and no tech for the entire 12 hour day. I spent half of it on the phone with him from our pharmacy just transferring stuff out he didn't have the time or manpower to fill for people between other duties he had to attend to.

# ? Aug 21, 2021 20:56

Epic High Five: Jun 5, 2004

RedneckwithGuns posted:

WAGS/CVS central stores have been tire fires since they started offering COVID testing and even worse since the vaccine roll out. Do not give them your business if at all possible. They are never adequately staffed and the corporate management doesn't have the wherewithal to do a drat thing to help the situation. We had a local CVS (rural Illinois) this past week that had just a pharmacist and no tech for the entire 12 hour day. I spent half of it on the phone with him from our pharmacy just transferring stuff out he didn't have the time or manpower to fill for people between other duties he had to attend to.

by the time I left after a couple years as a pharm tech they had cut their staffing down to like....1 pharm 2 techs, absolute max. Corporate had just cut tech hours by 30% and said more were coming lol. We'd get floaters in who worked weekend at the busiest store in the state just down the road from us and they'd be legit shell shocked because they'd only have a single tech for the entire day. I'm not surprised at all they once again opted to halve the staff and double the duties. Oh and the huge reduction came just after codeine was bumped to CII

RIP to those interns

# ? Aug 21, 2021 21:00

osprey: Apr 18, 2021

Epic High Five posted:

that was Jeb!

he ordered all trees not owned by a big business to be torn down to prevent spread of some disease or another to them, it didn't endear him much to people

lol. and it was all for naught

# ? Aug 21, 2021 21:07

empty whippet box: Jun 9, 2004; by Fluffdaddy

spotted in the wild.

they prayed hard about it, and just couldn't figure out if they should get the vaccine! unfortunately for them jesus doesn't give a gently caress about them so didn't bother answering. (aside from the constant screaming from all of human society that they should get the vaccine, but that's not JESUS)

Only registered members can see post attachments!

# ? Aug 21, 2021 21:07

etalian: Mar 20, 2006

osprey posted:

lol. and it was all for naught

Other big Jeb! accomplishment was shifting FL state pension dollars into Bear Stearns and Lehman Brothers before they went insolvent during the 2008 crash.

# ? Aug 21, 2021 21:08

jetz0r: May 10, 2003; Tomorrow, our nation will sit on the throne of the world. This is not a figment of the imagination, but a fact. Tomorrow we will lead the world, Allah willing.

Lathespin.gif posted:

since work is having me fly and the airports/planes won't likely accept a real respirator anymore, I'm looking at upgrading my kn95 game. best bet so far seems to be the 3m aura line?

looks like single size, sold under three main numbers/lines not counting vented versions, all are n95, sometimes available at hardware/home depot/etc, about 2 bucks a pop unless you buy a case of 440 or something

9205+, blue rubber band straps, usa made(?)

I got some of these, the masks are nice. The straps are crappy, and they get pretty loose after being worn one or two times. I'm gonna get some 1/4 or 1/2 inch woven elastic bands to staple on to the masks so I can wear them more than once.

# ? Aug 21, 2021 21:09

Fireside Nut: Feb 10, 2010; turp

Booster trip report: scheduled at a CVS and it was smooth as possible. used my real name but didn�t give insurance info. pharmacist just reviewed the questions with me and gave me that sweet, sweet Moderna round 3.

also, there was a nice lady behind me who saw me sit in the vaccine area and stopped on her way out, pulled down her mask and told me �good job getting that shot!� She said her boys have some sort of muscular disorder that prevents them from getting injections but their doctor just OK�d them to receive the Covid shots. The mask part was funny but at least her heart was in the right place lol

# ? Aug 21, 2021 21:09

19 o'clock: Sep 9, 2004; Excelsior!!!

Fireside Nut posted:

Booster trip report: scheduled at a CVS and it was smooth as possible. used my real name but didn�t give insurance info. pharmacist just reviewed the questions with me and gave me that sweet, sweet Moderna round 3.

also, there was a nice lady behind me who saw me sit in the vaccine area and stopped on her way out, pulled down her mask and told me �good job getting that shot!� She said her boys have some sort of muscular disorder that prevents them from getting injections but their doctor just OK�d them to receive the Covid shots. The mask part was funny but at least her heart was in the right place lol

# ? Aug 21, 2021 21:13

etalian: Mar 20, 2006

No you can't get booster shots, it means all the begging articles from places like the Atlantic and NPR were for nothing!

"Still Waiting on the Science!"

# ? Aug 21, 2021 21:13

Vernii: Dec 7, 2006

empty whippet box posted:

yea but imagine the economic damage this would do....a few rich guys would make a couple percent less profit than expected I don't know how people can be so selfish as to suggest 125,000 human lives are worth such horrific suffering as that.

Who is going to implement a lockdown at this point? Like half the states that did so had their emergency powers crippled by the state legislature so they're legally unable to do so anymore, and in the states that could, every chud is going to outright ignore lockdowns and the police can't be trusted to enforce.

# ? Aug 21, 2021 21:13

etalian: Mar 20, 2006

Vernii posted:

Who is going to implement a lockdown at this point? Like half the states that did so had their emergency powers crippled by the state legislature so they're legally unable to do so anymore, and in the states that could, every chud is going to outright ignore lockdowns and the police can't be trusted to enforce.

Also liberal states are supporting Return to Work and School ASAP since that's the marching orders from the Sleepy Joe whitehouse.

# ? Aug 21, 2021 21:14

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

etalian posted:

Other big Jeb! accomplishment was shifting FL state pension dollars into Bear Stearns and Lehman Brothers before they went insolvent during the 2008 crash.

Also implementing the FCAT and loving up public school budgets by tying them to FCAT grades so bad schools get trapped in a downward spiral

It was great watching Jeb! eat poo poo running for President after loving up Florida for years

# ? Aug 21, 2021 21:14

Iverron: May 13, 2012

Clarissa Deworms Us All

# ? Aug 21, 2021 21:16

Bastard Tetris: Apr 27, 2005; L-Shaped; Nap Ghost

Do I just have a giant head, or are the n95s rubber straps supposed to break after a day�s usage?

# ? Aug 21, 2021 21:17

Idiot Kicker: Jun 13, 2007

I hate Joe Biden

# ? Aug 21, 2021 21:19

empty whippet box: Jun 9, 2004; by Fluffdaddy

Vernii posted:

Who is going to implement a lockdown at this point? Like half the states that did so had their emergency powers crippled by the state legislature so they're legally unable to do so anymore, and in the states that could, every chud is going to outright ignore lockdowns and the police can't be trusted to enforce.

oh well guess we should do whatever makes it as bad as it can be, as fast as possible instead since doing the right thing would be hard

# ? Aug 21, 2021 21:19

Snowglobe of Doom: Mar 30, 2012; sucks to be right

Here in Australia a few weeks back they made a big deal out of announcing that the Moderna vaxx had finally been provisionally approved and we'd start getting shipments of tens of millions of doses real soon!!!! It only just occurred to me earlier today that none of the news articles I'd read mentioned why it took so goddamn long so I did some digging and looked it up ....

Snowglobe of Doom posted:

Re: Aus vaxx rollout fuckups

Remember how the US granted an EUA for Moderna back on December 17 2020 and started shoving it into arms by Dec 21 because they already had a huge stockpile sitting there waiting to be distributed? Australia granted provisional approval for Pfizer on January 25 and started administering it on Feb 22 (it took an extra month because we had to wait for the delivery to arrive, and then quality test it) and we approved AZ on Feb 16 and started administering it on March 5 but so far that's been the only two vaccine options available here, and we didn't get them until months after the US vaxx rollout started, and supply was restricted by age groups and the boomers dragged their feet getting their jabs so everyone else just had to sit and wait until the government decided to open eligibility to other age brackets.

Australia only managed to close a deal to buy Moderna on May 31 at which point they went "Welp, better start testing this thing so we can approve it for use!" and they finally got around to issuing it provisional approval on August 9 at which point they went "Sweet, let's arrange some to be shipped over!" so we'll be getting 1 million doses sometime next month and then further shipments of 3 million doses each in October, November and December, and then another 15 million doses sometime next year. They are moving horrendously slowly on this and apparently aren't capable of basic poo poo like arranging shipments before approval happens.

Also it turns out that Australia has granted provisional approval for J&J back in June but no one in Australia has received a single dose because the government never ordered any so it's never been available here. Back in April the government went "Eh, it's pretty much the same as AZ and we've already got an excellent deal in place for AZ so why bother buying J&J???? Whooo art of the deal baby" and then a few weeks later the EU went "Heyyyyy things seem to be pretty good over there in Australia and things are REAL poo poo over here so we're keeping those AZ shipments you guys ordered byeeeeee." Oops, looks like we should've ordered that J&J anyway oh well whaddya gonna do

These days AZ is super unpopular in Australia anyway and everyone wants Pfizer or is waiting for Moderna so we've actually got a stockpile of six million doses of AZ sitting unused because the media ran a huge scare campaign about blood clots and now the government can't convince anyone to take it.

It's been a huge dumb mess

Also we've got a single factory manufacturing AZ here in Australia and we could have retooled it to make J&J instead and effectively doubled production (since J&J is a single shot but AZ requires two shots) but we didn't because :shrug:

# ? Aug 21, 2021 21:21

etalian: Mar 20, 2006

Idiot Kicker posted:

I hate Joe Biden

I like how despite the time gap between Delta in India to US, Sleepy Joe did nothing to get the country ready for the inevitable.

Only lots of spin and PR talking points about return to the new normal. Maybe expanding liquid oxygen manufacturing capacity might have helped?

# ? Aug 21, 2021 21:21

mastershakeman: Oct 28, 2008; by vyelkin

Vernii posted:

Who is going to implement a lockdown at this point? Like half the states that did so had their emergency powers crippled by the state legislature so they're legally unable to do so anymore, and in the states that could, every chud is going to outright ignore lockdowns and the police can't be trusted to enforce.

the true blue highly vaccinated areas are largely dual income households with tons of pride in their careers and absolutely will not allow giving up daycare/school

# ? Aug 21, 2021 21:21

Substandard: Oct 16, 2007; 3rd street for life

Vernii posted:

Who is going to implement a lockdown at this point? Like half the states that did so had their emergency powers crippled by the state legislature so they're legally unable to do so anymore, and in the states that could, every chud is going to outright ignore lockdowns and the police can't be trusted to enforce.

If you roll a couple APCs full of military guys into town and shoot the first CHUD leaving his house people will stay inside.

There is zero chance this happens here but it worked pretty well in China

# ? Aug 21, 2021 21:21

Blitter: Mar 16, 2011; Intellectual
AI Enthusiast

mod sassinator posted:

lol the jig is up

https://toofab.com/2021/08/21/gofundme-offers-17k-refunds-to-donors-of-instagrammer-neurologically-damaged-by-covid-vaccine/

this girl:
https://twitter.com/LegendaryEnergy/status/1416437487195484160

empty whippet box posted:

drat crazy that the vaccine made her start beatboxing

# ? Aug 21, 2021 21:23

Zokari: Jul 23, 2007

etalian posted:

I like how despite the time gap between Delta in India to US, Sleepy Joe did nothing to get the country ready for the inevitable.

Only lots of spin and PR talking points about return to the new normal. Maybe expanding liquid oxygen manufacturing capacity might have helped?

preparing for disasters makes number skittish

# ? Aug 21, 2021 21:24

Judakel: Jul 29, 2004; Can't post for 9 years!

what disaster. covid is over

# ? Aug 21, 2021 21:24

Forseti: May 26, 2001; To the lovenasium!

etalian posted:

Other big Jeb! accomplishment was shifting FL state pension dollars into Bear Stearns and Lehman Brothers before they went insolvent during the 2008 crash.

he really is Gob isn't he

# ? Aug 21, 2021 21:25

mod sassinator: Dec 13, 2006; I came here to Kick Ass and Chew Bubblegum,
and I'm All out of Ass

Substandard posted:

If you roll a couple APCs full of military guys into town and shoot the first CHUD leaving his house people will stay inside.

There is zero chance this happens here but it worked pretty well in China

lmao they weren't murdering citizens to keep them in lockdown. china's culture is not "gently caress you, got mine"

# ? Aug 21, 2021 21:25

Crazypoops: Jul 17, 2017

Bastard Tetris posted:

Do I just have a giant head, or are the n95s rubber straps supposed to break after a day’s usage?

Fellow big head here, yes your giant bobble head breaks the straps you have to be careful and slide it on sightly more uncomfortably then tiny head creature

# ? Aug 21, 2021 21:25

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# ? May 26, 2024 23:02

Vernii: Dec 7, 2006

Substandard posted:

If you roll a couple APCs full of military guys into town and shoot the first CHUD leaving his house people will stay inside.

There is zero chance this happens here but it worked pretty well in China

Yea absolutely 0% chance of that because lol trying to order something like that would probably split the military

# ? Aug 21, 2021 21:26

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