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Martman
Nov 20, 2006

The Joe Man posted:

At Half Price Books I used to find fully complete/mint big box PC games in the clearance section for like 50 cents until they hired some fat nerd behind the counter who would actually check rarity/prices. They had a scratched up CD-only copy of Alice: Madness Returns in a plastic bag and it was priced at $40-something and I looked over at him and he looked over at me and we knowingly glared at each other for what seemed like an eternity.

a crisp refreshing Moxie posted:

Cool to know HPB sells mirrors now.

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barbecue at the folks
Jul 20, 2007


PurpleXVI posted:

Scissor lifts own. Nothing like cranking one up to full height and enjoying the view.

Blistex posted:

Omitting the first sentence left me in stitches.

Platystemon
Feb 13, 2012

BREADS

Alhazred posted:

On august 4th 1945 the US ambassador in Soviet received a hand carved wooden plaque of the Great Seal of the United States as a symbol of friendship between the two countries. The ambassador thought it was a lovely gesture and hung it in his office. In 1952 it was discovered that the plaque was bugged.

CoolCab posted:

one of the most ingenious bugs of all time to be fair, it wasn't like they left a big cartoon microphone in there. they didn't find it because it relied on a technology that the american government didn't even fully understand yet, thus it's amazing name. it was totally passive and relied on energy broadcast from afar which is similar to RFID chips.

it would probably have lasted for decades if someone didn't accidentally tune into the signal, lol.

the holy poopacy posted:

wikipedia posted:

The Thing was designed by Soviet Russian inventor Léon Theremin,[4] best known for his invention of the theremin, an electronic musical instrument.
Ah, so a wizard did it.

3D Megadoodoo posted:

As with all genius inventors, they rewarded Theremin by putting him in a camp.

Red Bones posted:

afaik he invented the spying device when he was in the camp (it was a gulag for scientists to do research for the soviets). I'm not sure why he got put in the camp initially - it might have been for moving to the US for a while, it might have been for inventing electronic music. Maybe he just looked at someone funny.

Brawnfire posted:

Perhaps Theremin got too close to something and it raised an alarm

ChubbyChecker
Mar 25, 2018

snergle posted:

i took german in high school and my german penpal was 9 yrs old. he wrote to me in english and i wrote to him in german. he wanted to call me on the phone to practice his spoken english and i would practice my spoken german. he called me and i was taught by a bavarian lady. he told me i sound like a Rword hick and he is sorry but he can no longer be my penpal.

EorayMel
May 30, 2015

WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Français.

JohnnyThreeToes posted:

Crossed signals really isn't possible. This girl was doing all the girly poo poo to let a guy know (playing with my hair, giving me "gently caress-me eyes", asking when I get off of work) that she is down. There really was no room for misinterpretation. I was flirting back and she was digging it. Plus, girls know that when a guy asks for their number that it isn't to play Scrabble.

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

Downtown Abey posted:

Well, since the thread isn't very good to begin with and you, for some reason, decided to troll people giving you honest insight, you've got 12 hours to apologize to the three posters above the quote & myself for such a horrific transgression.

Simply Simon
Nov 6, 2010

📡scanning🛰️ for good game 🎮design🦔🦔🦔

Platystemon posted:

Person One: “Play Freebird!”

Person Two, hard of hearing: “Why Three Bird?”
how the hell can you read #3 as "three bird"??

ChickenOfTomorrow
Nov 11, 2012

god damn it, you've got to be kind

accents

Simply Simon
Nov 6, 2010

📡scanning🛰️ for good game 🎮design🦔🦔🦔
I'm reading "#3" as "number three". Help a guy out

Cream-of-Plenty
Apr 21, 2010

"The world is a hellish place, and bad writing is destroying the quality of our suffering."
Pound three

china bot
Sep 7, 2014

you listen HERE pal
SAY GOODBYE TO TELEPHONE SEX
Plaster Town Cop

Simply Simon posted:

I'm reading "#3" as "number three". Help a guy out

"3 is what the guy does while the girl runs to the bathroom." - Boots Raingear

Kitfox88
Aug 21, 2007

Anybody lose their glasses?

In a row?

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

It's okay if you have any questions.


Inceltown posted:

*laughing in Australian*

Brawnfire posted:

¡ɐɥ ɐɥ ɐH

Kenning
Jan 11, 2009

I really want to post goatse. Instead I only have these🍄.



Imagined posted:

For sale: sex couch, never used.

mobby_6kl posted:

How do you use it? I don't see any... openings

CaptainBeefart posted:

If you don't see any openings, you're the opening.

Lobok
Jul 13, 2006

Say Watt?


christmas boots posted:

And it took how long for the 9/11 first responders to get their bill?

QUACKTASTIC posted:

I don't think Elvira's girlfriend was involved in that one

Zero One
Dec 30, 2004

HAIL TO THE VICTORS!

RFC2324 posted:

my brain always wants to parse it as 'Elrond Hubbard'

Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...




That's a username joke that works out basically once in a lifetime

BaldDwarfOnPCP
Jun 26, 2019

by Pragmatica

Captain Hygiene posted:

That's a username joke that works out basically once in a lifetime

Space Moose bought me a Bald Dwarf avatar.

It was nice but then someone bought me one that uh, wasn't flattering. And I replaced it.

Avatar switcheroos are usually pretty funny.

Sir Lemming
Jan 27, 2009

It's a piece of JUNK!

Captain Hygiene posted:

That's a username joke that works out basically once in a lifetime

It would've been amazing if someone with a Talking Heads-related username had been the first to respond to this

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

It's okay if you have any questions.


B-Nasty posted:

Yesterday I got recruiter spam where the recruiter, before listing the jobs they 'had', was attempting to sell his old car. Now I can't even joke about tech recruiters being like used car salesman.

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

It's okay if you have any questions.




CommissarMega posted:

Ten Inch Tails was right there, come on!


Son of Thunderbeast posted:

I feel like the sonic fandom would not handle this innocent pun very well

christmas boots
Oct 15, 2012

To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out
Biscuit Hider

lol in my defense there was also a conversation about the Havana syndrome bill being passed just so you onlookers know I'm not just randomly invoking 9/11

EasilyConfused
Nov 21, 2009


one strong toad

OwlFancier posted:

If I had to install my own plumbing, I would instead be making GBS threads in a hole in the ground, so I don't feel like that is a great argument tbh.

Powered Descent posted:

* looks up from hole*

Are you saying there's a better way?

Brawnfire posted:

What the- you again?!? Get the gently caress out of my latrine you pervert!

flavor.flv
Apr 18, 2008

I got a letter from the government the other day
opened it, read it
it said they was bitches




Bruceski posted:

I love it when collections include previously unseen games like Circle of the Moon.


(it's a backlight joke)

Kitfox88
Aug 21, 2007

Anybody lose their glasses?

flavor.flv posted:

(it's a backlight joke)

Was my first castlevania game and it was on an early production GBA, pretty sure it's part of why I'm legally blind without my glasses now thanks to the eyestrain :hellyeah:

Ghost Leviathan
Mar 2, 2017

Exploration is ill-advised.

The Lone Badger posted:

Unfortunately due to material shortages we were only able to produce one wunderwaffle for the entire nation. As it was made using slave labour it may contain ground glass and/or razor blades, the user is encouraged to inspect carefully before consumption.
The wunderwaffle is too large for any of our serving plates and so we cannot transport it from the kitchen to the table at this time, please instead enjoy this pleasing propaganda description of it.

AmiYumi
Oct 10, 2005

I FORGOT TO HAIL KING TORG

Herstory Begins Now posted:

make jaxyon an ik

Herstory Begins Now posted:

watch 20 of the worst posters will now trip over themselves to say 'oh god no'

Jaxyon posted:

OH GOD NO

EorayMel
May 30, 2015

WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Français.

Rupert Buttermilk posted:

Super Hornio Bros 2 is actually a redub of another film, "Dicky Dicky Pornfic"

Cacafuego
Jul 22, 2007


:lol:

Empty Sandwich
Apr 22, 2008

goatse mugs

lol

Subjunctive
Sep 12, 2006

✨sparkle and shine✨


Delightful.

Fantastic Foreskin
Jan 6, 2013

A golden helix streaked skyward from the Helvault. A thunderous explosion shattered the silver monolith and Avacyn emerged, free from her prison at last.


Having to suppress a laugh so I don't have to try to explain that.

EorayMel
May 30, 2015

WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Français.
Click on the goon name and/or :c: here:c: if you have archives to go to the rest of the post to :d: experience :d: a full page worth of ASCII porn omitted for extra suspense

PenisFixation posted:

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(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...



Well I guess it worked

Jedit
Dec 10, 2011

Proudly supporting vanilla legends 1994-2014

EorayMel posted:

Click on the goon name and/or :c: here:c: if you have archives to go to the rest of the post to :d: experience :d: a full page worth of ASCII porn omitted for extra suspense

Is this the original Post/Username Combo?

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

It's okay if you have any questions.




Paladinus posted:

Something-something, Assaulta Claus.

Knormal posted:

Ol' Saint Kick?

Rectovagitron posted:

Please, it's a tannenbomb.

Super Waffle
Sep 25, 2007

I'm a hermaphrodite and my parents (40K nerds) named me Slaanesh, THANKS MOM
Not a funny quote, but something beautiful and touching posted in the Woodworking thread.

Stultus Maximus posted:

About a week ago, my father passed away.

When I was six, he gave me a hammer for Christmas. I still have it.
When I was seven, I got a crosscut saw. I still have it.

He was of the generation of men who would never express love or caring in words. It's just not how he was raised. My mother always worried I didn't know he loved me or that he was proud of me, but I did know. I understood that he expressed it in actions for and with me. I spent a lot of time each summer growing up working with him. He was a teacher, so we had a lot of time to work. Digging fence posts, car maintenance, gut renovation of the entire second floor of the house - there was always plenty to do. Not a lot of talking, but the work spoke all that needed to be said.

He taught me a lot, but the most important thing was the value of work. Not the monetary value or the utility of the results, but the dignity of labor. He was an educated professional but he didn't feel like he actually worked except when it was with his hands.
He taught me that working with sweat, with muscles, with hands, with skill - that work is something sacred.

When he was in the hospital dying, my sister sang to him. One of her gifts is a truly beautiful soprano voice. I didn't have anything like that to offer. I didn't even have much to say - our conversations were never with words, but with actions.

So I went home and did the only thing I could think to do. I made his final resting place.


Winifred Madgers
Feb 12, 2002

If you can't make 'em cry laughing, just make 'em cry.

The Maestro
Feb 21, 2006
What is that, a coffin for ants?

Rust Martialis
May 8, 2007

At night, Bavovnyatko quietly comes to the occupiers’ bases, depots, airfields, oil refineries and other places full of flammable items and starts playing with fire there

The Maestro posted:

What is that, a coffin for ants?

Poor Stultus' Dad, was thought as ants when died.

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Noblesse Obliged
Apr 7, 2012

I made an ashtray in shop class too

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