Paladinus posted:

Objectively, this is the best sex music.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBhh23-paLU

Empty Sandwich posted:

Yakety Sex

Friend posted:

Aw man, I thought that was an SA original but I guess not

Zulily Zoetrope posted:

No, it is. That post is in the goldmine, along with the original. I can't figure out how to quote link to the goldmine, so click here to see the original post, complete with the avatar that got bought in response.

Dienes posted:

The r/relationships thread told me to share this here:

I briefly dated a virgin nerd in undergrad. He was sweet and very, very pretty but due to being horribly nerdy and having conservative helicopter parents hovering over him up until then, he never had a serious girlfriend. He wanted to have sex but was painfully anxious about it. His friends suggested all sorts of things to him to help relax.- smoke some pot, have a couple shots, etc. One suggested music and he liked that suggestion.

He put on the original Tetris theme. I laughed at the time and thought he was being funny to relieve some anxiety. Except as we continued fooling around, he didn't turn it off. It kept playing, on loop, the whole time. Honestly after a couple minutes I stopped noticing it....right up until I noticed he was thrusting in time with it. That song was never meant to have a backtrack of grunts.

Since it was so helpful the first time, he wanted to play it every time. We compromised, meaning he didn't get to play it every time like he wanted but I still had to hear it more often than I ever wanted. For those wondering, no, he couldn't thrust with rhythm without Tetris playing. No, he would not listen to other music.

Yes, I did break up with him over the loving Tetris music.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NmCCQxVBfyM

Flash Gordon Ramsay posted:

What’s really messed is up that he was undoubtedly playing Tetris in his head as he did the deed.

Paladinus posted:

Okay, but for real.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ds14zhfHEvE

Ur Getting Fatter posted:

I don't know if I like myself anymore after that joke.

Marcade posted:

You liked yourself before that post?

SyNack Sassimov posted:

Someone has to.

sebmojo posted:

demonstrably incorrect

VROOM VROOM posted:

Say what you will about the Tetris theme, it's a banger.

rydiafan posted:

That's the worst of the three classic Tetris themes anyway.

Zulily Zoetrope posted:

No, it is. That post is in the goldmine, along with the original. I can't figure out how to quote link to the goldmine, so click here to see the original post, complete with the avatar that got bought in response.

Blue Footed Booby posted:

Maybe hour long videos work for your sex life but this is all I need.

VROOM VROOM posted:

Say what you will about the Tetris theme, it's a banger.

Friend posted:

"The r/relationships thread told me to share this here... "
This made me think it came from r/relationships but I guess it was a reply in that thread that they reposted. Oh well whatever

Outrail posted:

How can there be more than one 'classic' Tetris theme.

shelley posted:

I was curious about that too so I went fishing in the r/relationships thread and long story short: Dienes mentioned the ex + Tetris situation while discussing a story from Reddit, someone went “what?! you should post about that in the hosed-up exes thread!”, and Dienes did so.

I think I need new hobbies.

rydiafan posted:

The first version of Tetris to include music had three options, meaning they are all equally original and classic. And both of the original tunes whip Sugarplum Fairy's rear end.

VROOM VROOM posted:

Say what you will about the Tetris theme, it's a banger.

Inexplicable Humblebrag posted:

sebmojo posted:

FLORG

realsneaky posted:

I am Peter The Roman, and the Sovereignty Of Heaven is at hand. Please review the next image.


Three significant advancements driving this revolution are 1) a special version of vitamin B12, sublingual methylcobalamin 2) warm coffee, not water, as an enema, and 3) https://www.centerpointe.com/ for daily meditation at the push of a button. Feel free to explore alternatives to Ceterpointe, but the expertise found in Managing Evolutionary Growth is irreplaceable. http://tinyurl.com/a2snr9c

Moving on...

Alien encounters, out-of-body experiences, and mystical experiences have all been directly linked to the body's own hallucinatory neurotransmitter, DMT. Dr. Rick Strassman discusses the revolutionary findings in his book DMT: The Spirit Molecule. http://amzn.com/0892819278 A documentary by the same name on the same subject is available on Hulu. http://www.hulu.com/watch/352717 The primary psychoactive molecule in ayahuasca is DMT. A recent article in National Geographic on ayahuasca ceremonies in South America uses imagery and conventions reminiscent of the Bible for discussion. http://www.nationalgeographic.com/adventure/0603/features/peru.html Additionally, artwork inspired by DMT depicts the Kingdom Of Heaven "at hand." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EDlC7oG_2W4#t=7m40s

Mark 4:11 says "The secret to the Kingdom Of God has been given to you, but to those on the outside everything is said in parables." That secret is DMT. The complexity of ayahuasca includes serpentine hallucinations, sometimes called the vision of a feathered serpent or a dragon. One way to “throw the dragon into the abyss” as required in Revelation 20:3 would be to prove that binaural meditation, discussed below, induces the secretion of endogenous DMT and produces a similar type of spiritual transformation.

Further scientific investigation is necessary to explain religious claims medically. Shamans drinking ayahuasca report superior access to ecstatic trance after dietary purification. In the preliminary studies by Dr. Rick Strassman, subjects sat in stillness as if meditating in the Buddhist tradition in order to prepare for the experience. Scientific sophistication can improve these traditions of dietary and mental preparation. The remainder of this email discusses seven means of mind/body preparation, some of which are leaps of medical progress every bit as impressive as wireless internet.

First, a coffee enema can produce mental stillness. Loosely speaking, it will "cast out the unclean spirits." Your local health food store has a $10 plastic enema kit. Rather than water in an enema, fill the bucket with warm coffee. Intimidating at first, the enema is actually easy, breezy, beautiful, and good for the soft charm around your eyes. Use cooking oil on your bum and on the plastic tube. Lay down on tile, not carpet, and listen to music. Suffer it for 10-15 minutes. As a preferred option, use ganoderma coffee. The lightness of being noticed in the nervous system after administering reishi (ganoderma) mushrooms has been praised for millennia.

Second, binaural meditation is performed by maintaining focus on a candle while listening to Centerpointe's meditation soundtrack, Holosync. https://www.centerpointe.com/ Centerpointe's program uses binaural beats to quiet the mind quickly. This version of meditation builds upon a fundamental advancement in cognitive science. It is more than the soothing sounds of rain. The Dive and Immersion are all you need, even when they provide multiple sound files. Binaural meditation produces adaptations to the brain via neuroplasticity, among them symmetry of brain waves in the right and left hemispheres. The unification of the right and left brain improves problem solving abilities. Because binaural meditation is associated with across-the-board increases in positive hormones and neurotransmitters, it is time to test the hypothesis that it is possible to prime the body for DMT production with methyl- vitamins before binaural meditation.

Centerpointe makes additional claims about improving the human condition that parallel ideas found elsewhere in philosophy. Like other German thinkers, Friedrich Nietzsche ate amanita muscaria mushrooms. Consequently, he knew himself to be something akin to a prophet, used Zarathustra as his mouthpiece, fashioned aphoristic psychology ("Women? Don't forget your whip."), and believed in themes such as "self-overcoming" and morality "beyond good and evil." Masonic users of psychedellics in America were politically revolutionary due to the sense of re-evaluation in the air. "Behold, I am making everything new" (Rev. 21:5) is the creative struggle that can be channeled into music, scientific discovery, or the re-definition of social reality. Today, Bill Harris claims that users of his product, Holosync, report predictable responses to daily meditation, which he assembles in a model sometimes called "the management of evolutionary change." http://amzn.com/0972178023 Harris attempts to wrap his mind around the evolution of consciousness, something Nietzsche addressed as creative "overcoming," "transcending," or "transvaluation." Harris believes that binaural meditation permits individuals to address black and white tensions with equanimity, resign to confusion, and re-assimilate beliefs at a higher order of complexity. Daily meditation permits previously simple tensions to be handled with a very high level of sophistication. Holosync seems to facilitate the gradual re-assembly of consciousness. http://tinyurl.com/2zf9tt The working hypothesis for binaural meditation might be that it releases a trickle of endogenous DMT, the "divine spark." Given the divine spark, it could be possible to import Hegel and the idea that the World Spirit manifests through individuals who complete the meditation process. Without these pretenses, however, Holosync is simply an effective way to find serenity in the present.

Third, as noted in the article in National Geographic, depression is lifted in ecstatic trance. Studies demonstrate enhanced sensitivity to serotonin after the use of ayahuasca. The use of ayahuasca with SSRIs can produce serotonin syndrome. Rather than SSRIs, depression can be addressed with hard-to-find versions of Vitamins B12, B9, B6, B1, and D with amino acids. Please read http://www.deplin.com/folate-for-depression/ for an introduction.

i) 7x1mg sublingual MethylCobalamin
ii) Deplin or 7x800mcg Metafolin Methylfolate
iii) 7x50mg pyridoxal-5'-phosphate
iv) 7x1000 IU Vitamin D3
v) 7x1g/day of krill or fish oil
vi) Arcalion is enhanced vitamin B1. 1g prior to thirty minutes of aerobic exercise greatly enhances a bodily sense of well-being.
vii) Acetyl L-Carnitine and N Acetyl L-Tyrosine will produce an effortless natural alertness in the morning. In the evening the body can use tryptophan or 5-HTP to produce serotonin and then melatonin for ease sleeping. The effect of isolated amino acids is similar to the traditional effect of bee pollen, which is rich in the full spectrum of free-form amino acids for an improved sense of wakefulness.

Fourth, exercise can reset the mind and body. A methyl-B12, methyl-B9, and arcalion (enhanced B1) prior to the use of the elliptical machine amplifies the ability of the mind to quiet and the body to become the center of identification. The vitamins facilitate an embodied, present, and forward-oriented encounter with reality, sometimes called "the zone."

Fifth, Cho-Wa (cho-wa.com) is a respectable golden Daoist formula of traditional herbs. I also have a golden combination. Mine is for the nervous system: the fish Garum Armoricum and the Hericium Erinaceus mushroom. To handle periods of peak stress with composure, take Stabilium with the whole Hericium Erinaceus (Lion's Mane/BeardedTooth/Satyr's Beard) mushroom, available at MushroomHarvest.com. The Stabilium/Hericium combination is supernatural: smokers choke on cigarettes that again taste like an intolerable hot ashtray. I am somewhat superstitious about the additional effects to this combination.

Sixth, the movie Fat, Sick & Nearly Dead http://www.hulu.com/watch/289122 advocates a ten day fast of freshly squeezed vegetable juice as an alternative to a water fast. Although the documentary could be more entertaining, a ten day juice fast is an acceptable way to complete the "No sugar. No fat. No salt. Mostly vegetables and fish." dieta used by the shamans. Greasy food produces a tingling of disgust under my skin after a juice fast. In addition, the alternative to probiotics is to eat food rich in bacteria such as fermented cabbage (sauerkraut/kimchi). Intestinal bacteria can produce an interaction with freshly squeezed vegetable juice, so either a probiotic supplement or fermented cabbage is recommended before the juice fast. The juice fast also takes care of another common North American issue, gluten sensitivity. Eliminating all wheat products will enhance your sense of clarity if you are gluten sensitive. There are now blood tests to determine food and chemical allergies. Except in rare instances the utility of these tests is limited despite their promise.

Seventh, acupuncture points are drawn on the body in the above music video. Contemporary acupuncturists using an auriculotherapy device can measure active points in the ear and on the body that tend to correspond with the claims of acupuncture in Traditional Chinese Medicine. The precise measurement of active electrical points with an auriculotherapy device substantially improved my response to acupuncture. In addition, stimulating the body with frequencies of electricity in the atmosphere produces responses not seen with other frequencies. Muscle contractions and other irregular responses can be produced with 5.7hz and 7.83hz + x(6.5)hz,the Schumann frequencies. Current in the hands and exiting the feet with these frequencies reportedly facilitates healing. When a patient is in poor health, the frequency of electricity leaving the body is not identical to the frequency administered. They should be identical at the end of a session of electrical therapy. The Schumann frequencies might be more entertaining than insightful at times because 90hz also produces a remarkable effect.

Pleased To Meet You /
Hope You Guess My Name,

Petrus Romanus/Peter The Roman
1 Peter 2 for my "living stone" in Zion
Romans 8:29 because I have come in the "image of his Son" to be the firstborn of many
-----------------------------------------------------------------
The tradition of the philosopher's stone is a byproduct of self-overcoming. Living stones are one way in which the living but "dead" are resurrected through the power of God in Matt. 22:29. I have a philosopher's stone at http://tinyurl.com/8hbfq2m It is the stone referenced in The Grudge: http://www.youtube.com/watch v=EiR1hmpk-x4 "Saturn Ascends" in astrology between ages 27-30. The grudge is against people who stole my bookmarks. The "transmutation" was anger at stolen bookmarks until I noticed there were 450 people in my class at NYU Law, right next to 400 students per class at Columbia Law, and I declared myself Elijah with The Kingdom Of Heaven at hand three years later. 1 Kings 18:22-40 "He that overcometh shall inherit all things; and I will be his God, and he shall be my son." Rev. 21:7 See also The Gospel Of Thomas #2. In addition, the occult tradition of the emerald tablet verifies this as a legitimate stone. The emerald tablet, depending on how we play with interpretation, describes similar stones as the final work of the rising sun. http://tinyurl.com/6f6clka The emerald tablet predicts the marriage of male and female, sun and moon, the coarse with the fine, and the upper with the lower. Hitler's My Struggle is interesting as an example of overcoming without a stone. It's closer to a magnum opus. The interesting issue with Eckhart Tolle's book A New Earth is that a German in Canada wrote a book nearly titled No Kampf. It might be the case that stones like mine become "another brick in the wall."

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

Flint_Paper posted:

Miss Giddy from Fury Road, but all the tattoos are from the anarchists cookbook. Going into the apocalypse fully armed with the knowledge of How To Really Mess Up A McDonald's

Blue Footed Booby posted:

Maybe hour long videos work for your sex life but this is all I need.

Collateral Damage posted:

It's not premature ejaculation, it's a speed running tactic.

Dammerung posted:

I am so ashamed of myself for knowing what game this was as soon as I read that.

Dameius posted:

Just going for any% fewest steps pumps WR.

Harald posted:

I wish Alec Baldwin shot me then I wouldn't have to read this drat thread