r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

Mr. Grapes!: Feb 12, 2007; Mr. who?

Total Meatlove posted:

She was one of the scariest thread characters of all time.

They exist in large numbers in real life. I am a teacher, and I now have the policy of confiscating artwork that students create in their free time. Why? Because if they bring it home, there are multiple mothers who complain that the students are not learning enough during their 8-5 schoolday if they have the spare moment to draw a Santa or a Pikachu or something. Some of these kids are 5/6 years old.

# ? Dec 23, 2021 05:56

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# ? May 29, 2024 23:01

Mr. Grapes!: Feb 12, 2007; Mr. who?

Clark Nova posted:

immediately disabling someone's cell phone line (and presumably making them lose their personal phone number) is some revenge fantasy poo poo that you shouldn't actually do no matter what

Eh, sure it might be fake. But, maybe try not putting all your eggs in a basket being held by someone you are treacherously betraying for years. They might get broken. What was her best case scenario in her head? She professes love to her boyfriend's buddy, buddy agrees to marry her instead, and the doormat guy just keeps paying for all of her stuff?

# ? Dec 23, 2021 06:03

Mr. Grapes!: Feb 12, 2007; Mr. who?

The Bee posted:

AITA for telling this strange shirtless man to put a shirt on?

YTA. This guy totally would have been down to do a quest for you. Maybe you're missing a family heirloom, or your brother got kidnapped by goblins or something. This beefcake barbarian with an axe was ready to get his epic quest on.

OOPS: Sorry for the triple post, I should have just combined them in one. My bad!

# ? Dec 23, 2021 06:06

Evil Willow: Apr 26, 2007; Bored now...

AITA for sending back a bad dish for my date?

quote:

so first date with this girl went really well. we talked about life, love, happiness, goals, commitment, the works, she really was on my wavelength and really understood my philosophy on life and was a really good listener when I told her about my high paying successful job I got in finance, she was clearly impressed by it which is good because I have spent my whole career waiting to get to this point where I can finally date and not be embarassed about my job

so second date was booked, "great" I thought "this is going so well and I might be in love, this could be it, who knows what comes from this, maybe a one night stand but maybe we connect on a deeper level and we can move forward and not be stuck in our 30s dating random internet dates"

first off vibe check she is not vibing with the restaurant, she was totally underdressed but I told her where we were going was a nice restaurant and I guess she just thought her dress would be good enough, I politely let her know she was underdressed so for future reference she would dress up and actually check on google the proper dress code, I was well dressed in a nice suit. but I could tell she was uncomfortable which was practically her fault because of what she was wearing but whatever

anyway she's not very attentive this time when I was telling her about my day in finance , which to me is very important so already I am like "strike one" in my head, not making good eye contact. she takes one look at the menu and freaks out, and I said "baby don't worry I am your daddy tonight" in a flirting manner which admittedly may have been to early to say something like that , needless to say I couldn't really tell if she liked it she just kind of ignored it and ordered the cheapest thing on the menu

when her order finally came (conversation while waiting was so bad, she could not think of anything interesting to say) it was literally just a piece of tomato and lettuce (it was $24 and the cheapest thing and I think a side item) and I could tell she was upset, secretly I was aware that it was her fault since she ordered like a tiny side item even though I said I would pay, so I wanted to be a gentlemen and told the waiter that this was unacceptable and to send it back. the waiter started ARGUING with me that this is what she ordered and I raised my voice a bit to show I was not messing around and I have eaten at many other fine dining establishments where this would be unacceptable. finally he took the plate back and she said like "I didn't need you to do that, you were incredibly rude and I'm sorry but this is over". to which I replied "why are you ending the date, you are gaslighting me because what you are doing is very rude". She didn't understand what I was trying to do and protect her from a bad experience I guess but she was pretty emphatic and although she's not the brightest tool in the shed I can't help but question whether or not I could have minimized the situation or not any more than it was, what do you think?

# ? Dec 23, 2021 06:55

Mr. Lobe: Feb 23, 2007; ... Dry bones...

Evil Willow posted:

AITA for sending back a bad dish for my date?

Do caricatures like this really exist?

# ? Dec 23, 2021 07:03

Serephina: Nov 8, 2005; 恐竜戦隊
ジュウレンジャー

Baronjutter posted:

What's with reddit subs and all their insane little rules? I've never seen that sort of thing in any other community. And they act like every weird dumb rule is like the prime-directive levels of sacrosanct and can never be selectively enforced or weighed in any sort of situational context. "I'm sorry, your post was amazing but we were forced to delete it and ban you as per rule 58-C. Your post contained a reference to an exact model/year of car and to avoid automotive partisanship drama on this sub we ask all users to generalize any references to vehicles in stories"

You realize you're posting in a forum with its own set of insane little rules, right? It is not for the guest to fanthom the local insanity, but merely nod and accept that this is how things are done here.

# ? Dec 23, 2021 07:07

Guildenstern Mother: Mar 31, 2010; Why walk when you can ride?

Mr. Lobe posted:

Do caricatures like this really exist?

I think I could see this person existing, mostly in a situation where he's unable to learn basic social rules/niceties, but somehow it never seems to impede him and he goes through life acting out the cargo cult of socialization he's cobbled together and literally no one's ever sat him down and gave him the talk about it so he thinks its normal.

# ? Dec 23, 2021 07:14

Invisible Clergy: Sep 25, 2015; "Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3

Mr. Lobe posted:

Do caricatures like this really exist?

I think I heard one of them was president once.

Guildenstern Mother posted:

I think I could see this person existing, mostly in a situation where he's unable to learn basic social rules/niceties, but somehow it never seems to impede him and he goes through life acting out the cargo cult of socialization he's cobbled together and literally no one's ever sat him down and gave him the talk about it so he thinks its normal.

People like this 100% exist and aren't especially hard to find; ask anyone who's ever worked in customer service but they will not be this truthful about their behavior when writing accounts of their dates.

AITA for not wanting any gifts that are forced like birthdays and holidays, Christmas, But also refuse to give gifts on forced days.

quote:

I like gifts dont get me wrong but i dislike gifts that are expected of you due to holidays or events. Is the gift not supposed to be speical and a gift is not always a material object.. it makes me feel fake and there is strong expectations of how much and if the person will even like the gift (if its an object).

I would rather just not get anything and in return not have to give gifts onless i choose to do it when i choose to do it.

(Had trouble with being forced to say sorry and show remorse rather then doing it because i felt bad. Similar feelings with gifts arise but harder to avoid as i get older)

Im married with a 7 year old kid. If it helps add context. Grew up on the semi poor side many years we did not get or give gifts so has become my upbrining.

For Christmas the presence of others and good food is more then enough of a gift for me..

I also hate the time and planning it takes to do it, which makes me look like i dont care about them when i just want everyone to save money or waste time.

So AITA?

Gift-giving act of non-aggression.

# ? Dec 23, 2021 07:44

rain dogs: Apr 19, 2020

Evil Willow posted:

AITA for sending back a bad dish for my date?

Literal Patrick Bateman poo poo

# ? Dec 23, 2021 08:05

a podcast for cats: Jun 22, 2005; Dogs reading from an artifact buried in the ruins of our civilization, "We were assholes- " and writing solemnly, "They were assholes."; Soiled Meat

LookListen posted:

Oh yeah, I didn't mean that one, I've been in enough queer groups and knew enough people in others for that to be the most believable of this kind of story. I think I just misremembered that as being the OP's name the person was taking? And got mixed up thinking there was another 'my trans sibling/friend is stealing my name/future child's name and everyone is unusually universally supportive of this trans person's wishes!!' story between that story and the most recent one lol

The 'sibling came out and is stealing my name' thing as a broad concept, just feels like those other stories where it seems like OP is trying to find a situation where a minority making a request/taking offense to something is over the line and bad, like 'oh yeah? Well what if they did THIS, is it still problematic now???'. Or/and trying to find the perfect set up/plot twist for a title that looks -phobic and a post that shows OP is in the right, actually.

Then again most of the trans people I know were either single children or had a normal sibling relationship, so who knows, maybe this does come up a lo??

Following the same logic, 90% of r/relationships content must be incel recruitment propaganda. All those women of various ages and walks of life willingly putting up with non-wiping, non-cooking, unfaithful men while the reader remains alone, untouched and unloved despite not having these flaws, must surely mean that there is something up.

# ? Dec 23, 2021 08:12

Invisible Clergy: Sep 25, 2015; "Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3

a podcast for cats posted:

Following the same logic, 90% of r/relationships content must be incel recruitment propaganda. All those women of various ages and walks of life willingly putting up with non-wiping, non-cooking, unfaithful men while the reader remains alone, untouched and unloved despite not having these flaws, must surely mean that there is something up.

No. Ones like the one about the woman cheating on OP with his best friend and turning down his marriage proposal and winning 100% custody of the kids and his heart on a spike from the family court are mra propaganda because they paint the husband as a martyr are spreading incel ideology by painting women as supervillains who will tie men to railroad tracks and whom every system of society conspires to aid.

The basic "woman with non-wiper" story, if anything, as we talk about often in the thread, refutes the central tenet of inceldom which is "oh women only want supermodel billionaire brain surgeons with a 50 foot dick, that's the excuse for why I can't get a date, their standards are too high."

The fact that it's so common for tendie eating NEET non-wiping manchildren who stay home, don't care for kids, and spend all their wife-given allowance on anime funkopops are so common both in r/relationships and observed offline in real life proves that no, it's possible for undesirable men to get into relationships with women too, incels just fail to meet even this very low bar because of their repellent personalities, not the Few Millimeters of Bone they choose to blame for all their personal failings.

Again, do you know women in real life? Some of them date/marry loser men. Do you know trans people in real life? They don't do the kinds of poo poo the trans villains do in transphobic r/relationships or aita posts. There's a reasonable amount of stories by and featuring trans characters in both subs, but they tend to be about how the person is affected by transphobic abuse by their classmates, family, coworkers, etc. so aren't very fun and we don't post them in the thread leading to something of a sampling bias, the same way we don't talk about successful soup tube restaurants or uneventful polycules.

When you see a story on reddit (or anywhere like, mainstream news) that's painting a member of a marginalized group, like trans or disabled people as though they have enormous amounts of unassailable power they use to get their way, you should think about who would benefit from you believing that and why they might want you to feel that way.

Despite what the reddit mods say, manchildren are not one of these groups, so that's why those stories, even if they are fake, do not perpetuate harmful ideas about vulnerable people.

rain dogs posted:

Literal Patrick Bateman poo poo

I don't think even the actual Patrick Bateman did this. Of all the nasty stuff he does to waiters in the book/movie, I don't think sending back his date's dish is one of them.

Here's one whose truthfulness I doubt will be called into question because I can't imagine anyone writing this story thinking they come off looking good.

AITA for being polite to a customer?

quote:

I work at playhouse. It�s very popular in our little town and we see a lot of traffic on our vaudeville days.

The other day it was particularly busy but I never let that affect my friendly demeanor.

Customer walks in and is going through our maze of ropes. When he�s halfway to me, I say �How we doing today, sir!�

He says nothing but I figure he doesn�t hear me.

When he steps up to the counter, this interaction ensues: (I�m summarizing obviously, but this is the gist)

Me: �Hey, how we doing today?�

Him: �One for the balcony.�

I ring him up for a ticket and turn to the food runner who is standing behind me and laugh because this is the second time this customer has flat out ignored me and is now being short with me. I say to the food runner, �Jesus Christ it�s like I�m not even a human being when I have this uniform on.� The food runner laughs cuz she�s had her fair share of rear end in a top hat customers as well.

I turn back to the customer as the ticket prints and he grabs it supper aggressively from my machine, which is a big no-no, and starts walking off.

I say with my serious voice now �No.�

The customer turns back and looks at me.

I say �Come back here please.�

The customer says �why?�

I say �because I asked nicely, because you�re a guest in my playhouse, not the other way around, and because I need to rip that ticket.�

The customer rolls his eyes and stomps back over to me and thrusts the ticket in my face.

I take it and rip it and give him his half.

The customer is just staring at me with a death stare now.

He says �am I good to go in now?�

I ask �well did you need something else?�

He says �No.�

And I say �well if you don�t need anything else, you don�t have to stand here anymore.�

He storms off again and I call out after him �My pleasure, sir!�

He stomps back over to me a second time and looks furious.

He says �What?�

I say �sir do you have a problem?�

He says �you got a fuckin problem.�

I say �okay sir I�m gonna ask you to leave now.�

His eyes get all wide and hes like �You�re kicking me out?�

I say �Yeah you�re acting belligerent.�

He says �but I just paid.�

I say �doesn�t matter. You�re cursing at me and I won�t tolerate it.�

Then I radioed the security to come and escort him out. He kept screaming about a refund and I kept explaining that there was nothing wrong with the show so I couldn�t issue a refund.

I was unable to convince him he was wrong in the time it took the security to walk him out of our playhouse.

The guy kept calling me an rear end in a top hat as he was being ejected.

I take that very personally because I pride myself on being a friendly person.

Invisible Clergy fucked around with this message at 08:44 on Dec 23, 2021

# ? Dec 23, 2021 08:38

a podcast for cats: Jun 22, 2005; Dogs reading from an artifact buried in the ruins of our civilization, "We were assholes- " and writing solemnly, "They were assholes."; Soiled Meat

You're both missing the point and being a dick. Neither is a surprise really.

# ? Dec 23, 2021 09:22

Fleta Mcgurn: Oct 5, 2003; Porpoise noise continues.

a podcast for cats posted:

Nah. When I was 12-16, Romani youths were routinely shaking down weaker kids for their lunch money in my hometown and beat down the ones that didn't comply. I got beaten up once (black spots and bruises, but no blood) and shaken down more times I can remember. 10+ times easily. Most kids from that time and place had similar experiences. I don't think very many people got beaten up badly enough to be hospitalised though.

Not trying to call you out, because I appreciate you were trying not to say a slur, but this isn't a good way to avoid saying the g-word. Not all who identify as such are actually Romani.

# ? Dec 23, 2021 09:24

a podcast for cats: Jun 22, 2005; Dogs reading from an artifact buried in the ruins of our civilization, "We were assholes- " and writing solemnly, "They were assholes."; Soiled Meat

edit

a podcast for cats fucked around with this message at 18:19 on Jan 10, 2022

# ? Dec 23, 2021 09:32

Invisible Clergy: Sep 25, 2015; "Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3

AITA for serving someone saltless spaghetti?

quote:

Alex (21M) and I (21F) are interns in a pharmaceutical company. Now this guy is a Supernatural freak. If you've seen the show, just like those fans at the convention enacting Sam and Dean. Just for a difference, Alex here likes to roleplay the demons. Ruby, Lilith, Alastair, Lucifer- you name it.

By now, everyone is tired of his antics. I have it worst being a fellow intern. Last month he threw 'holy water' on me to check if I was in his team. Turns out, disappointingly I am not. But mind you, we were in a lab and the water ruined my slide. Alex though says holy water does no harm and it'll take me a minute or so to make a new slide. All good.

So the company has a tradition where the interns throw a small Christmas party in the month of December. Mine was supposed to be on 10th. I invite everyone including Alex and just serve him a portion without salt. He shouts ''Seems like demon taste buds are numb to salt, unless there isn't any to begin with!'' and starts laughing. Until he learns that he's the only one with a custom demon-friendly dish. Everyone else now has a good laugh while he sits red-faced. I replace his Spaghetti with the normal one and everything else goes on smoothly. Later on I apologize if I made him feel bad and he just shrugs it off.

His roleplaying has completely stopped but to my shock I didn't get invited to his party on the 20th. I thought things were cool between us but now he tells me that I am an AH for he feels embarrassed at the company every single day. While I think that at least he isn't being annoying anymore. AITA?

EDIT: These parties are completely optional. And the interns usually do it together with only two dishes on the menu. I just didn't want to do it with Alex. He wanted it to be Supernatural themed.

Man, it's been a while since I thought about "Supernatural" kinnies.

# ? Dec 23, 2021 09:32

Lemniscate Blue: Apr 21, 2006; Here we go again.

AITA for ruining my friends favorite food for her?

quote:

So my friend Sarah absolutely loves cows. She refuses to eat beef because of her love for cows. The two of us were at lunch and I ordered a chicken fried steak. She said, "oh I LOVE chicken fried steak!" I just kind of looked at her and said, "but Sarah...you don't eat beef...". She said, "but that's chicken! My mom told me that it was chicken!" I corrected her and she immediately calls her mom to ask her. Well, come to find out, her mom had been lying to her for her entire life about different foods that she gave her to get her to eat beef. She would tell her something was chicken or pork or whatever. My friend called me an rear end in a top hat for ruining one of her favorite dishes. So AITA?

I really want to know 1) how old this person is and 2) what other foods were claimed not to be beef?

# ? Dec 23, 2021 09:42

The Maroon Hawk: May 10, 2008

Mr. Lobe posted:

Do caricatures like this really exist?

I can 100% believe that people like this exist and that this story is true

Also,

Mr. Grapes! posted:

They exist in large numbers in real life. I am a teacher, and I now have the policy of confiscating artwork that students create in their free time. Why? Because if they bring it home, there are multiple mothers who complain that the students are not learning enough during their 8-5 schoolday if they have the spare moment to draw a Santa or a Pikachu or something. Some of these kids are 5/6 years old.

Wowee I hate this a whole lot, and think the post below this does a pretty good job of summarizing my feelings on it

The Maroon Hawk fucked around with this message at 09:56 on Dec 23, 2021

# ? Dec 23, 2021 09:49

Fatkraken: Jun 23, 2005; Fun-time is over.

Mr. Grapes! posted:

They exist in large numbers in real life. I am a teacher, and I now have the policy of confiscating artwork that students create in their free time. Why? Because if they bring it home, there are multiple mothers who complain that the students are not learning enough during their 8-5 schoolday if they have the spare moment to draw a Santa or a Pikachu or something. Some of these kids are 5/6 years old.

ugh, that's awful. I'm a trainee nursery teacher, and one of the biggest take-home's from all the training and experience is: Playing IS learning. There's entire loving text books about it, about how to help kids get into play situation and then detailed example-based training on how to back the gently caress off and let them do their own thing without adult interference. Social skills, a sense of pride-and-accomplishment, self esteem, cognitive skills, understanding of the world and of society, these are all things kids get from playing with their friends or on their own.

# ? Dec 23, 2021 09:52

Invisible Clergy: Sep 25, 2015; "Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3

Lemniscate Blue posted:

AITA for ruining my friends favorite food for her?

I really want to know 1) how old this person is and 2) what other foods were claimed not to be beef?

Jessica Simpson is 41.

# ? Dec 23, 2021 10:05

Zulily Zoetrope: Jun 1, 2011; Muldoon

There�s an old adage about �if you want to know who is in charge, look for the people you�re not allowed to criticize,� which has pretty much been ruined by assholes claiming anti-discrimination laws prove that the world is run by black female gay trans Muslim Jews, but I think it does accurately apply to the Reddit rule of not being allowed to say the m slur, manchild.

# ? Dec 23, 2021 10:15

Invisible Clergy: Sep 25, 2015; "Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3

Zulily Zoetrope posted:

There�s an old adage about �if you want to know who is in charge, look for the people you�re not allowed to criticize,� which has pretty much been ruined by assholes claiming anti-discrimination laws prove that the world is run by black female gay trans Muslim Jews, but I think it does accurately apply to the Reddit rule of not being allowed to say the m slur, manchild.

That expression, despite being widely misattributed to Voltaire, never had any kind of golden age and was always intended to attack disenfranchised minorities. It was created by white nationalist neo-nazi holocaust denier Kevin Alfred Strom in 1993 and referred, unsurprisingly, to Jewish people. There was never anything to ruin because it has never actually been true. It does apply to the manchild reddit mods though, lol.

AITA for calling out a rude customer?

quote:

I went to pickup a lunch order at Subway. I got there and had to wait a bit while they made my BMT. There was one other customer, and she was just finishing up. She was also on her cell phone on speaker. I guess they were finishing up her order, because she walked over and filled her soda. She went back to the counter and the employee tried to tell her how much her total was. She responded with something along the lines of "can't you see I'm on the phone?" There was maybe another back and forth before she decided they "are rude and I'll find someplace else to eat."

Ask she walked out, I spoke up. I told her "actually, you're the one being rude here." She absolutely EXPLODED at me. Telling me to mind my own business and she wasn't talking to me (my 10 year old uses that on me, too). I tried to tell her that she was getting mad at people asking her to pay for the food SHE had asked them to make for her. Also that the employees can't say anything, but I sure can.

She finally stormed out. Unsurprisingly, she got into the car parked right outside the door - in a fire lane.

So, AITA?

Never thought I'd be able to say "Was describing your sandwich in detail necessary to our understanding of what happened?" in response to something organically, yet here I am.

Invisible Clergy fucked around with this message at 11:02 on Dec 23, 2021

# ? Dec 23, 2021 10:49

Nebrilos: Oct 9, 2012

Zulily Zoetrope posted:

There�s an old adage about �if you want to know who is in charge, look for the people you�re not allowed to criticize,� which has pretty much been ruined by assholes claiming anti-discrimination laws prove that the world is run by black female gay trans Muslim Jews, but I think it does accurately apply to the Reddit rule of not being allowed to say the m slur, manchild.

No it's true. Two-year-olds with leukemia really are in charge.

# ? Dec 23, 2021 11:19

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

Invisible Clergy posted:

AITA for serving someone saltless spaghetti?

# ? Dec 23, 2021 12:37

Malcolm Excellent: May 20, 2007; Buglord

Invisible Clergy posted:

AITA for serving someone saltless spaghetti?

What?

# ? Dec 23, 2021 12:42

Fleta Mcgurn: Oct 5, 2003; Porpoise noise continues.

a podcast for cats posted:

Well, they referred to themselves as chavos (pronounced slightly differently) at the time. I could have added it for credibility, but I thought it would have been too obscure for this thread. Romani populations exist in Eastern Europe. They are not treated well and petty crime is a direct effect of that.

Thanks for the admonishment though. I will stay in my lane from now on.

It wasn't an admonishment and I'm sorry if it came off that way. Your explanation was fine and you should just do that going forward. I also wasn't aware you were in Eastern Europe, so I apologize.

# ? Dec 23, 2021 12:44

cumshitter: Sep 27, 2005; by Fluffdaddy

Evil Willow posted:

AITA for sending back a bad dish for my date?

This rear end in a top hat reminds me of someone I used to know who got into finance specifically because he wanted the "models and bottles" lifestyle. And every time he would bring it up I'd play dumb and pretend he wanted a high paying job so he could make little ships in bottles in his spare time. Me, I got into it for twinks and drinks.

I deal with people directly so when I do talk to dates about "my day in finance" I just skip the number and portfolio stuff. There's plenty of r/relationships-lite stuff that comes up since people tend to reach out to their advisors during big life events or when crazy poo poo is going on in their lives, and that's a lot more relatable and interesting than talking about portfolio allocation and how it relates to the efficient frontier.

cumshitter fucked around with this message at 13:16 on Dec 23, 2021

# ? Dec 23, 2021 13:11

sootikins: May 24, 2008; Did I ever. Remember it as if it were yesterday. Soon as I woke, I went to empty my bowels - my favorite part of the day. Defecatin' to the sunrise - downright glorious.

Antivehicular posted:

My guesses on the name thing, in increasing order of plausibility:

1) Ellie is deliberately or subconsciously pushing boundaries to see if her family still accepts her, because scared kids do that kind of thing;
2) Ellie is needling her sister, because teens;
3) Ellie didn't even think about this and just decided the name was neat, because 13-year-olds aren't great at thinking about anything.

In summary: 13 is a really stupid age

they could do the old timey way of dealing with people that have the same name: Ellie the Elder and Ellie the Younger

perpetually thankful that the web was still literally pick up a phone and dial up when i was that age

# ? Dec 23, 2021 13:16

greazeball: Feb 4, 2003

Is everyone else looking forward to their family's spaghetti and salt dinner this Christmas? Man I love that salted spaghetti, can't imagine eating it any other way.

# ? Dec 23, 2021 13:27

Cloacamazing!: Apr 18, 2018; Too cute to be evil

I think the saltless spaghetti thing is about how salt is used to protect you from demons? That's the only connection I can make here.

# ? Dec 23, 2021 15:14

Lone Goat: Apr 16, 2003; When life gives you lemons, suplex those lemons.

Invisible Clergy posted:

AITA for calling out a rude customer?

Never thought I'd be able to say "Was describing your sandwich in detail necessary to our understanding of what happened?" in response to something organically, yet here I am.

Typing BMT is fewer letters than Sandwich or even Order, and I applaud the op for their efficiency.

# ? Dec 23, 2021 15:15

Lieutenant Dan: Oct 27, 2009; Weedlord Bonerhitler

Batterypowered7 posted:

Reminds me of "everything is a learning opportunity" mom from previous thread incarnations.

I swear to god this lady showed up at my local diner last year. Doing that "learning opportunity" thing with her clearly irrittated kid the entire time they were in a booth. She also spent a lot of time standing in the doorway saying "HOW could this place be GOOD it's NOT EVEN ON TRIPADVISOR"

# ? Dec 23, 2021 15:29

teen witch: Oct 9, 2012

Today�s blood boiler

AITA for wanting my husband to do 2 daily chores, even though counsellors have said this is unreasonable?

quote:

2 professionals have told me I�m wrong, so I probably am, but thought I would ask just to settle it once and for all.

I (39f) am a SAHP with 3 kids (12m 10m 1f). Oldest 2 are learning from home, and the oldest has autism and ADHD so needs a lot of one-on-one help from me. My husband, Eli (36m), works 40hrs and helps with the kids after work. I manage the household, finances, do all the cleaning, and most of the cooking. We do yardwork and repairs together.

Eli agreed to 2 daily chores: take out the trash and clean the cat box. But he only does them when asked. Otherwise, he will let the trash can get so full that the lid won�t close and trash gets piled up beside it. Even when asked, he only checks the kitchen trash and not the two in the bathrooms. He doesn�t pick up any trash that�s overflowed and forgets to put a bag back in the bin. The cat box is in the master bath, and if not cleaned for more than 24hrs, our cat starts going in front of it instead. So we end up with urine and feces all over the bathroom floor. Eli will just step around this like it isn�t there, so I often end up cleaning it.

Also, I usually need to ask multiple times since Eli will be playing videogames with the kids, so he can�t do it right away and then forgets. We have talked about this many times but nothing changes. So we went to 2 marriage counsellors for 1 visit each.

The 1st said that since Eli has ADHD (although I also have ADHD), I need to make him a daily schedule on a dry erase board. That my job is the house and his is the breadwinner, but that if I wanted him to help with my tasks such as the litterbox and the trash, I would need to add them to the board and then praise and thank him each time and plan extra rewards for motivation. After we left the office, Eli blew off her advice as something out of the 1950s, but it was discouraging.

The 2nd counsellor said that if I want Eli�s help, I must be content with how and when he gives that help. That it is controlling to give any reminders or suggestions on how to do his tasks. I tried to clarify that I wasn�t being overly picky, I just wanted the job to be complete, like a bag in the trash can after he changes it because people throw trash in anyway, and it was gross for me to have to wash it out, or the problem with the sand left on the bathroom floor was that it sticks to wet feet after a shower and turns into a paste. She then said that since I care more about the task, that I should be the one to do it.

To check if I�m being unreasonable, these were how I wanted the tasks done: Catbox: cleaned every day. Sweep up any spilled sand. Trash cans: check daily and empty when full. Pick up any trash that has overflowed. Replace bag.

These chores take less than 10 minutes combined, so I didn't think I was asking too much, but at this point I'm not sure.

Regarding the absolutely :brainworms:

riddled therapists who in the comments are revealed to BOTH BE WOMEN

quote:

They were from a list of marriage counsellors his work provided that we could go see for 5 free visits a year. They both turned out to be faith based, which was a surprise as he works for a scientific organization (he's an engineer).

And some bonus �the gently caress?�

quote:

This is interesting. I've not heard of this before, but it seems possible he could have some sort of issue with this since it does seem accidental that he's leaving part of the job undone on purpose, and it happens with a variety of things, not just the trash. He does some other odd things that I have wondering if they are connected to his ADHD, although they are not things that I experience with mine. We have different types, I'm predominantly hyperactive/impulsive and he's predominantly inattentive which might factor into it. Like, he ends up wasting a lot of food because he will fill things up to the size of the container. Cereal up to the brim of a bowl even if it's far too much to eat, or he'll add creamer to coffee up to the top of the mug so it's hard to carry, lukewarm, and tastes awful. If he puts ketchup on a plate for a kid he will fill the whole empty part of the plate so that's it's just a ridiculous amount, like half a cup, of ketchup. I don't know if he just spaces out when he's pouring or what. He seems embarrassed when it happens which adds to the feel that it's not on purpose. It's not infrequent though.

Posting instructions for all the steps in any sort of shared chore seems like it could be helpful both for him and my oldest son, who needs more help understanding tasks in general.

# ? Dec 23, 2021 15:55

Fatkraken: Jun 23, 2005; Fun-time is over.

Cloacamazing! posted:

I think the saltless spaghetti thing is about how salt is used to protect you from demons? That's the only connection I can make here.

https://supernatural.fandom.com/wiki/Salt

"Salt may also be used to purify human corpses. As it causes intense pain in demons, it may also be used to torture them. It can also be used to force a spirit out of a human's body after possession."

# ? Dec 23, 2021 16:01

Johnny Truant: Jul 22, 2008

teen witch posted:

Today�s blood boiler

AITA for wanting my husband to do 2 daily chores, even though counsellors have said this is unreasonable?

Regarding the absolutely riddled therapists who in the comments are revealed to BOTH BE WOMEN

And some bonus �the gently caress?�

yeah it's super accidental that he's just stepping over cat poo poo and piss and leaving it there

# ? Dec 23, 2021 16:08

Fatkraken: Jun 23, 2005; Fun-time is over.

teen witch posted:

Today�s blood boiler

AITA for wanting my husband to do 2 daily chores, even though counsellors have said this is unreasonable?

Regarding the absolutely riddled therapists who in the comments are revealed to BOTH BE WOMEN

And some bonus �the gently caress?�

it does sound like it's possible he's *not* doing it on purpose, but if so they don't need marriage counselling, he needs some *intense* ADHD specialised therapy, coping mechanisms and maybe drugs iunno. The "filling the whole container" thing is so weird it doesn't feel like gaslighting, more like a weird short circuit

# ? Dec 23, 2021 16:15

kntfkr: Feb 11, 2019; GOOSE FUCKER

teen witch posted:

Today�s blood boiler

AITA for wanting my husband to do 2 daily chores, even though counsellors have said this is unreasonable?

Regarding the absolutely riddled therapists who in the comments are revealed to BOTH BE WOMEN

And some bonus �the gently caress?�

I went to a sex therapist once cuz her ads are all around town and she turned out to be a run of the mill marriage counselor. When I described my issues, she said, "Hold on. What's a dominatrix?"

# ? Dec 23, 2021 16:18

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

sootikins posted:

they could do the old timey way of dealing with people that have the same name: Ellie the Elder and Ellie the Younger

Now I'm reminded of the girl who dated a guy with the same name as the family dog, let's call him Pete.

So the family called the dog Pete and the boyfriend Human Pete.

# ? Dec 23, 2021 16:20

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

Cloacamazing! posted:

I think the saltless spaghetti thing is about how salt is used to protect you from demons? That's the only connection I can make here.

I think people get that, it's mostly people being confused by the fixation of salted spaghetti. I don't think people normally add salt to spaghetti outside of the water it boils in, so the OP apparently made two batches of spaghetti under the assumption that her coworker would immediately identify the lack of salt and make a Supernatural joke about it.

# ? Dec 23, 2021 16:21

BOOTY-ADE: Aug 30, 2006; BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

Lemniscate Blue posted:

AITA for ruining my friends favorite food for her?

I really want to know 1) how old this person is and 2) what other foods were claimed not to be beef?

"Hamburgers are made of HAM, it's right there in the name!!"

# ? Dec 23, 2021 16:27

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# ? May 29, 2024 23:01

kimbo305: Jun 9, 2007; actually, yeah, I am a little mad

teen witch posted:

AITA for wanting my husband to do 2 daily chores, even though counsellors have said this is unreasonable?

Regarding the absolutely riddled therapists who in the comments are revealed to BOTH BE WOMEN

Sorry about your two ASD children. Must be so hard.

Honestly though, it's scary that there's therapists that bad out there. Not that I wouldn't know what to do if I ran into those extremes, but that maybe some more innocuous seeming bad advice would be happened out without the therapee realizing it. Obviously an oversimplification, but getting past :therapy:

is such a huge goal line that it has made the after part more black and white.

# ? Dec 23, 2021 16:31

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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