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HARDEST kong to ESCAPE from
This poll is closed.
Donkey Kong 8 4.88%
Diddy Kong 3 1.83%
Dixie Kong 8 4.88%
Funky Kong 49 29.88%
Chunky Kong 8 4.88%
Bluster Kong 5 3.05%
Lanky Kong (demanded by Cheetah) 53 32.32%
Max Castillo 6 3.66%
Billy Mitchell 18 10.98%
Steve Wiebe 6 3.66%
Total: 164 votes
[Edit Poll (moderators only)]

 
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Saint Freak
Apr 16, 2007

Regretting is an insult to oneself
Buglord
Is Waypoint the one that posted Harry Potter child pornography?

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The 7th Guest
Dec 17, 2003

hatty posted:

Was it a Waypoint person that said it was impossible for cis men to be attracted to Bayonetta?
they've written all over. paste magazine, GQ, Vice, kotaku, polygon. idk if it's just the reality of the business but like a lot of these writers are practically free agents switching teams every year like Ryan Fitzpatrick

Saint Freak posted:

Is Waypoint the one that posted Harry Potter child pornography?
Kotaku, that person was soon shunned and also lost their job on the visual novel they were working on

TheWorldsaStage
Sep 10, 2020

hatty posted:

Was it a Waypoint person that said it was impossible for cis men to be attracted to Bayonetta?

That was a twitter person I believe

I stand corrected!

Hwurmp
May 20, 2005

Is Waypoint the one that destroyed the World Trade Center?

The 7th Guest
Dec 17, 2003

Hwurmp posted:

Is Waypoint the one that destroyed the World Trade Center?
no that was Mandy from Billy & Mandy

TheWorldsaStage
Sep 10, 2020

I thought Mandy tried to kill her brother and inherit the fire nation

GiantRockFromSpace
Mar 1, 2019

Just Cram It


Infinitum posted:

Had a google and yeaaaaaah forgot how insanely gross they got :barf:

So just... Castlevania?

Also just remembered there's a new season/series coming up of the Netflix show
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ONqNEPTPyqU

Original series was so good :allears:

I'm really wondering how they'll go because Season 4 ends with Dracula resurrected with his wife planning a worldwide trip, so it'd be disappointing if they made him evil again for no reason or killed Lisa again to make Dracula evil.

There's the evil priest in Rondo I guess.

RBA Starblade
Apr 28, 2008

Going Home.

Games Idiot Court Jester

Hwurmp posted:

Is Waypoint the one that destroyed the World Trade Center?

Yes

Hwurmp
May 20, 2005

The 7th Guest posted:

no that was Mandy from Billy & Mandy

well now I don't know what to believe

bone emulator
Nov 3, 2005

Wrrroavr

hatty posted:

Was it a Waypoint person that said it was impossible for cis men to be attracted to Bayonetta?

Lol

Monkey Fracas
Sep 11, 2010

...but then you get to the end and a gorilla starts throwing barrels at you!
Grimey Drawer

Vermain posted:

the reviews i've read indicate that it's basically the first game with more open world elements and a dreadful PC port that's struggling to hit 30 FPS on beef PCs, so waiting for a sale is in your best interest

Ugh yeah I'll approach w caution in like a year if they iron out the PC port. Open-world elements are basically guaranteed to cut the gaming experience with a bunch of gristle and sawdust to bulk up the playtime and I've been avoiding them more and more as I get older and just have less time in general

lovely day-one PC ports are one of the things that make me want to get a PS5 or Series Boner but most things are still getting ported to PC and are usually eventually OK

Barry Convex
Sep 1, 2005

Think of the good things, Pim! The good things!

Like Jesus, candy, and crackerjacks! Ice cream and cake and lots o'laffs!
Grandma, Grandpa, and Uncle Joe! Larry, Curly, and brother Moe!

The 7th Guest posted:

these waypoint moments seem like singular disconnected points in time and not necessarily a pattern of malicious behavior, especially considering the person who wrote the RSC article left like 6-7 years ago

its reasons to criticize them and tell them what they did was harmful, so i'm not like, really disagreeing that strongly. but i'm still fine with people amplifying the good pieces they ran. maybe it's because these bad articles are easier to pin on two people, the writer and the EiC who let it run, rather than the entire site. like the idiot that wrote the harry potter porn article for Kotaku

i'm still gonna laugh at the playful sexuality tweet which i think austin walker deleted. can't take that from me

I agree here, I also think the original Red Strings Club article was extremely misguided and shouldn't have run, but that the follow-up interview with the devs a day later was a reasonably mature response to criticism and a reasonably good-faith effort on Danielle's part to take accountability. not going to tell anyone here that they have to agree with the latter half of that statement (and I am a cis guy, to be fair) and definitely not gonna relitigate the specifics of the deadnaming controversy, but even if you don't think the follow-up was sufficient accountability, I do question the wisdom of treating that as an indictment of Waypoint and everything they ever published to the point where you're dancing on its grave, especially when there are no shortage of truly awful opinions in games media that nobody responsible has ever taken an iota of accountability for. oh well, YMMV

Barry Convex fucked around with this message at 19:20 on Apr 28, 2023

Draga
Dec 9, 2011

WASHI JA!

The 7th Guest posted:

no that was Mandy from Billy & Mandy

Well that brought back memories I didn't want to remember.

The 7th Guest
Dec 17, 2003

kotaku once ran an article in the early 2010s about a guy bragging that he had sex with a woman in his Sonic racecar bed

it was the only article he ever wrote and he was just some guy trying to get a lovely cartoon funded on Kickstarter

i pin these things primarily on article writer, and editor in chief that isn't paying enough attention. although in the Sonic bed case I want to award the EIC a medal for running it

e: except for the Nathalie Lawhead stuff because it was psychotic of so many people around games journalism to circle the wagons around Cecilia. that's one instance where it goes beyond just a person doing something really stupid and is actually indicative of major problems within the field

The 7th Guest fucked around with this message at 17:13 on Apr 28, 2023

Gaius Marius
Oct 9, 2012

The 7th Guest posted:

kotaku once ran an article in the early 2010s about a guy bragging that he had sex with a woman in his Sonic racecar bed

it was the only article he ever wrote and he was just some guy trying to get a lovely cartoon funded on Kickstarter

Who can say they wouldn't brag in that situation

rox
Sep 7, 2016

The 7th Guest posted:

kotaku once ran an article in the early 2010s about a guy bragging that he had sex with a woman in his Sonic racecar bed

it was the only article he ever wrote and he was just some guy trying to get a lovely cartoon funded on Kickstarter

i pin these things primarily on article writer, and editor in chief that isn't paying enough attention. although in the Sonic bed case I want to award the EIC a medal for running it

king

Elendil004
Mar 22, 2003

The prognosis
is not good.


surprised there's not a shadows of doubt thread, game is solid as hell and lots of fun neat little interactions to be had.

The 7th Guest
Dec 17, 2003

Sonic fans sometimes have a notorious reputation among the general internet populace that we're terribly annoying, way too demanding, and that we have an unwarranted sense of entitlement. As a fan, I can boldly proclaim that while all of that is 100 percent factual (in an opinion kind of way), I can also say that I'm the only Sonic fan, nay, the only gamer to get a girl to sleep with me upon a bed of Sonic.

I moved out of my parent's house at the ripe age of 20, and let me tell you something, it was the best move I've ever made. At home I had rules and regulations on how I was to enjoy myself (bringing girls to my room was a big no-no) so I did the only logical thing and hit the road. At my new place I was a free man, a man who was free to decorate his room the way he felt a man-cave should look: covered from head to toe in Sonic the Hedgehog memorabilia. Action figures still in their packaging lined the walls, a poster of Eddie Lebron's live-action fan film starring Jaleel White in the kitchen, and the cream of the crop – a giant Sonic the Hedgehog throw blanket with matching pillow cases on my bed.

Now, one might take a look at such an apartment and immediately declare "this guy will never get laid," As a self-proclaimed ladies-man, I made it my job to disprove such a theory. I believe that any guy can land any kind of girl if he's both confident and true to himself, so when I found acting like a fool wasn't working, I decided it was time for change. I tried online dating, checked out a few girls, and got checked out myself. One girl in particular was cute, funny, smart, and most-notable-in-the-context-of-this-article, wasn't a nerd at all. Another thing that caught my eye – she had never dated a nerd before.

We met up at the local Starbucks where we got to know each other over some coffee, nothing big. There was definitely a mutual attraction going on, mostly because neither of us made the "date" out to be more than it was. I treated her like I would treat any of my friends, which made her feel really comfortable. She thought it was cool how I just did my own thing, and she was really interested in my comedy. I was confident about myself, and she instantly dug that.

I invited her over my apartment, and of course she wanted to see my bedroom. She broke out into hysterical laughter at my over-the-top Sonic the Hedgehog room, and I will admit I was a little embarrassed at first, but she was totally into it. She thought it was endearing, in a way. We then had sex on the fabled Sonic the Hedgehog blanket, and it was good.

Trust me, she wasn't the only one to enjoy His Royal Kailness upon such luxuries. In fact, there were many others (which you can read about in my book Slacker's Paradise). The truth is, if you're a nerd, geek, gamer, lamer, whatever – you can get the girl. Interests don't matter much in the end, the best way to get a girl interested is to be confident in yourself, don't try so hard, and make sure they feel comfortable. Remember my golden rule – A.B.C, Always Be Closing.

My next goal is to decorate my room in My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic memorabilia and see if my girlfriend doesn't make me sleep in the yard for a week. Once you get tied down everything starts looking more and more like an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond.

Kris Kail is a comedian, life-long gamer, and author of the book "Slacker's Paradise – The Collective Writings of an Internet Radio Host". You can find him on Twitter under the name @DudeGurlz and you can read about all of his wacky antics at Kail's Big Time Burger Joint.

[Editor's Note: We've taken some heat for this story. Some didn't find it funny. To that I expect condemnation only for our taste. But to those who feel the story supported a view that our readers are all straight, male gamers, I do apologize. I should have caught that in the editing process of what was intended to be a light, humorous story. No article on this site should make you feel that you don't count as a gamer. If this article made you feel that way, I apologize. That's not on Kris, who was simply trying to entertain our readers. That's on me. -Stephen Totilo, Editor-in-Chief, Kotaku.com ]

Srice
Sep 11, 2011

The 7th Guest posted:

e: i don't have all my thoughts fully formed on this subject yet but given how many sites have freelance/guest writers, games journalism feels a lot more individualized despite the big bannerheads. it's always a big deal when a writer leaves one site and goes to another for example. or when a group of writers get laid off. that's why whenever ppl would respond to an article on kotaku with "TYPICAL KOTAKU" i'd think 'what is typical kotaku', because their lineup of writers and even editors changes frequently. the dumbass who wrote that cis people couldn't find bayonetta attractive for example wasn't at kotaku a year prior to writing that article. so i guess that's why i don't mind people sharing cool articles from waypoint because a number of them likely were guest spots or freelanced or from people who left years ago or w/e

heck with kotaku there was also that period of time where tim rogers was heavily doing his tim rogers thing for the site so it'd be wild to see his videos attract those kind of comments by people who'd just read a video title and would immediately post that stuff without watching it

Jay Rust
Sep 27, 2011

I had a guy like that in one of my creative writing classes

Saint Freak
Apr 16, 2007

Regretting is an insult to oneself
Buglord
In a world where anyone can just watch a full game online, or hell just buy and return a game on steam, journalists gotta stay controversial if they wanna stay relevant. That's why my next article is "Non-Japanese People Playing JRPGs Are Committing Cultural Appropriation".

rox
Sep 7, 2016

The 7th Guest posted:

[Editor's Note: We've taken some heat for this story]

lmao

Srice
Sep 11, 2011

Elendil004 posted:

surprised there's not a shadows of doubt thread, game is solid as hell and lots of fun neat little interactions to be had.

There is! https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=4030805

Game does look very neat though I'm content with waiting for it to leave early access.

bone emulator
Nov 3, 2005

Wrrroavr

oh boy, I just bought a new and very expensive graphics card.

are there Crysis like systemkillers these days I should test out on this thing?
I already tried Portal and Quake 2 RTX.

Turns out Portal is still pretty fun

Propaganda Hour
Aug 25, 2008



after editing wikipedia as a joke for 16 years, i ve convinced myself that homer simpson's japanese name translates to the "The beer goblin"

bone emulator posted:

oh boy, I just bought a new and very expensive graphics card.

are there Crysis like systemkillers these days I should test out on this thing?
I already tried Portal and Quake 2 RTX.

Turns out Portal is still pretty fun

Cyberpunk 2077, Plague Tale: Requiem, and Dying Light 2 are probably the most demanding games in 2k and 4k with ray tracing on.

RBA Starblade
Apr 28, 2008

Going Home.

Games Idiot Court Jester

The 7th Guest posted:

kotaku once ran an article in the early 2010s about a guy bragging that he had sex with a woman in his Sonic racecar bed

it was the only article he ever wrote and he was just some guy trying to get a lovely cartoon funded on Kickstarter

i pin these things primarily on article writer, and editor in chief that isn't paying enough attention. although in the Sonic bed case I want to award the EIC a medal for running it

Way past cool

Waffleman_
Jan 20, 2011


I don't wanna I don't wanna I don't wanna I don't wanna!!!

Try to get 60 fps consistently in Jedi Survivor (you can't even on the most powerful consumer card money can buy)

Saint Freak
Apr 16, 2007

Regretting is an insult to oneself
Buglord
Cyberpunk and Witcher 3 can both look really, really nice.

homeless snail
Mar 14, 2007

Elendil004 posted:

surprised there's not a shadows of doubt thread, game is solid as hell and lots of fun neat little interactions to be had.
I've been playing a lot of it, its pretty janky between being early access and also procgen tbh but its crazy, how hard it sells the fantasy of being a detective. getting a case and seeing how flimsy your clue is, and then coming up with an investigation plan that actually ends up narrowing your leads until you find your guy, is incredibly satisfying

when you get a case thats like, "theres a 26 year old guy in this apartment building that has something I want", and the building has like 60 apartments in it and your first instinct is to throw this dumb case in the garbage until you realize The Trick that breaks that case wide open. that's powerful stuff

Arrrthritis
May 31, 2007

I don't care if you're a star, the moon, or the whole damn sky, you need to come back down to earth and remember where you came from

Saint Freak posted:

Cyberpunk and Witcher 3 can both look really, really nice.

I just started a Cyberpunk playthrough this week and I definitely agree with that, even if there can be some really weird graphical glitches at times.

homeless snail
Mar 14, 2007

the problem with a procgen mystery game though is, you never know when the game has hosed up and failed to generate some crucial element or, you're just being dumb and not seeing it

bone emulator
Nov 3, 2005

Wrrroavr

Saint Freak posted:

Cyberpunk and Witcher 3 can both look really, really nice.

Oh, I forgot about that Witcher 3 patch. I'll check that out.

I said come in!
Jun 22, 2004


Vampire Survivors is awesome, and I am really happy for the person who made the game and their success. This game feels like proof that exploitative DLC and monetization is not in fact necessary to make good games, but a choice with no other motivation behind it.

Jay Rust
Sep 27, 2011

I said come in! posted:

Vampire Survivors is awesome, and I am really happy for the person who made the game and their success. This game feels like proof that exploitative DLC and monetization is not in fact necessary to make good games, but a choice with no other motivation behind it.

you know, lots of games prove that

Jay Rust
Sep 27, 2011

Spent my lunch hour trying to thing, "what is gaming's 9/11?", and it's gotta be them shutting down Lawbreakers

Volte
Oct 4, 2004

woosh woosh

homeless snail posted:

the problem with a procgen mystery game though is, you never know when the game has hosed up and failed to generate some crucial element or, you're just being dumb and not seeing it
I think some cases just happen to be unsolvable and there’s not supposed to be a guarantee otherwise, it’s up to you to figure out if you should just abandon them. I accepted a job to steal something for a corporate client and literally the only clue given about the target was that they had size 10 shoes and high blood pressure. The reward was like $4k but alas, I don’t think it was possible.

External Organs
Mar 3, 2006

One time i prank called a bear buildin workshop and said I wanted my mamaws ashes put in a teddy from where she loved them things so well... The woman on the phone did not skip a beat. She just said, "Brang her on down here. We've did it before."

Jay Rust posted:

Spent my lunch hour trying to thing, "what is gaming's 9/11?", and it's gotta be them shutting down Lawbreakers

It was Soulja boy loving the Wrong Things about Braid

I said come in!
Jun 22, 2004

Jay Rust posted:

Spent my lunch hour trying to thing, "what is gaming's 9/11?", and it's gotta be them shutting down Lawbreakers

Nah, gamings 9/11 should be something that is a significant and meaningful loss to gaming. Lawbreakers was not that by any definition.

I said come in!
Jun 22, 2004

External Organs posted:

It was Soulja boy loving the Wrong Things about Braid

lmao I sometimes think about this moment, and it's the only thing I like about Braid. My life is better and more enriched for having known of this.

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Yaoi Gagarin
Feb 20, 2014

Konami destroying metal gear

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