Captain Hygiene posted:

I like how the number one spot is basically a Tomb of the Unknown Poster memorial now for a true hero doing numbers today's goons can't even hope to achieve

Neddy Seagoon posted:

Lol, I never knew BravestOfTheLamps was blocked by that many.

I'm not surprised by it though.

I would blow Dane Cook posted:

Platystemon posted:

Firefighters have reported sixteen deaths, all petite.

Lemniscate Blue posted:

I imagine there's a lot of overlap.

I am no good at keeping track of who is whose alt, so I'll ask here: Does anyone know who has the most alts on the most-ignored list?

Zulily Zoetrope posted:

Oh it's definitely this poster.

imagine I did the thing where I post a link to a user's own profile, I spent like 15 seconds looking for it and gave up

haveblue posted:

Sadly I'm pretty sure that's just an algorithmic artifact produced by ignore list entries where the server can't figure out who they used to be

rodbeard posted:

No somebody changed their name to the html code for a space and ended up on the ignore list of anyone with a blank space.

Inceltown posted:

https://twitter.com/OFalafel/status/1222124323508572161

Milo and POTUS posted:

The hand of dog

NihilCredo posted:

Milo and POTUS posted:

Are computer mice really something that merits this sort of poo poo? How heavy is a mouse anyways and does it really matter

Milo and POTUS posted:

Are computer mice really something that merits this sort of poo poo? How heavy is a mouse anyways and does it really matter

Stupid_Sexy_Flander posted:

When I was growing up the first ignore list I ever got added to was my parent's.

I. M. Gei posted:

I got back from the gym after midnight tonight.

This has become a disturbingly common occurrence for me.

pop fly to McGillicutty posted:

it was almost midnight, how dare they come in sneaking around like that, trying to give me a heart attack! I set my face hard, and walked through, preparing to give Marie, or whoever it was, a piece of my mind.

The lights in the gym were off, but I could see movement over near the gymnastics equipment, someone swinging back and forth on the parallel bars. It was a smooth, rhythmic motion, down and around and up and over, around and over, up and down. Sometimes the movement flew up, releasing the bars for a moment, before deftly catching them on the way down. There was no sound as I got closer, apart from the faint slap of hands gripping and releasing the wood of the beams. If it was Marie, I’d never seen her doing anything like this before. I walked over, and turned on the overhead lights.

It was not Marie, swinging round and about on the bars. Marie only had two arms. Marie had legs. And Marie had a head. The thing that swung and flipped and twirled around the bars was nothing like Marie, though its flesh looked human enough. It did have a smile, though, stitched… right in the centre of its torso.

Biplane posted:

Wasn't there a guy who was radiumed onto every other goons ignore list way back?

Absurd Alhazred posted:

That's just plain mean.

Mohammed Al FYAD posted:

I remember reading a long time ago about this guy who was screwing around with a chick and she yelped, "OH FRODO" and I thought that was the most hilarious poo poo ever.

I also remember Lowtax posted a thread a long time ago about how he and Integral were together and things were starting to get hot and heavy and he bursts out in laughter, and she's like "what?" and he's like "I just keep thinking about korn.jpg" godammit the forums were great back then.

As for me, I was with this really weird girl and she insisted that I give her mathematical questions while we were doing it, so while I was going at it I was like "quick... what's the 10th prime number?" she'd moan and give me an answer and then I'd say "the integral of cos(2x)tan^7(x)dx" and that's when she would cum.

So what about you?

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

Paladinus posted:

korn.jpg?

Paladinus posted:

korn.jpg?

Paladinus posted:

korn.jpg?

Discendo Vox posted:

This is going to sound like a strange question, but could you name some of the dick pill/magnet companies? I want to compare their messaging against Western dick pill/magnet companies.

Paladinus posted:

E: oops, wrong thread. But you, too, can get a space boner if you so desire.

Platystemon posted:

For real, though. This is the worst poster on the forums.

https://forums.somethingawful.com/member.php?action=getinfo&userid=197504

Silvatooth posted:

I was yelled at by a hobo and stalked by a rehab case… again

It happens to me all the time. Homeless people, tweakers, drugged up spaz’s, and all other manner of crazies. My friends find it amusing to go out with me because it always happens, which also explains much of my dating life up till present (1/3 of my ex’s have been in a mental institution before we dated, all of which I didn’t know until after about a month of dating, but that’s an E/N post for another time. )

The other night I was walking from the mall with one of my friends. She had just broken up with her BF and I went to walk her home from her job at the coffee stand in the basement of the mall. As we were walking back we heard from about a block away the sounds of a man yelling and as we approached we discovered he was screaming and flailing like a third base coach at a bicycle which was lying on the cement. We both started laughing hysterically at the sight of this scrawny scruffy scamp screaming and swearing spastically causing people to cross the street to avoid him on that balmy summer night.

It was at that time when he noticed us and started screaming “gently caress you, I know you did this to me I saw it. gently caress YOU!!!!!!!!” Well we being the kind caring citizens we are started yelling back “gently caress you” in hopes of shutting him up to stop disturbing the nice folks of Salt Lake City. Well this volley of eloquent speech went on for about 10 minutes when he just suddenly started screaming at a very shrill pitch and went running in to the apartment building behind his with his hands waving around above him only to come screaming back out. HE ran over and grabbed the bike (which looked like a 10 speed from what I could see) and flung it out into the intersection almost hitting a passing Mazda. Once again he resumed his screaming but this time added some jumping to the whole show and was once again screaming “gently caress you look what you made me do, you rear end. You loving rear end!” Which was wrong, it should have been asses because there was two of us.

At this point in time there were two young gentlemen who were out for an evening stroll who picked up the bike out of the intersection because it was causing some problems with traffic as people didn’t want to ruin this poor deranged mans only mode of transportation (I’m positive that was their reasoning). They grabbed the bike and proceeded to roll it to the man who was still yelling at us, but I thin the man thought they were trying to steal it because he started spitting at them calling them thieves and began to chase them back across the cross walk.

Well they ran down a block and turned a corner with the man screaming and yelling thief (which must have been real uncomfortable as the passed the police station) but we lost sight of them at this time and we walked to her car and I said good night with promises of picking up some coffee tomorrow morning as she had the early shift.

Well at this point I was awake and had some work to get done so I walked down to a coffee shop close by to use their wireless internet and consume some caffeinated beverages, as well as to visit some other friends who worked there. I’m just minding my own business when I pass an apartment building used to home people fresh from rehab and the mentally challenged alike. And as I pass I start hearing this shuffling sound from behind me and heavy breathing behind me. Being used to this stuff I just walk a bit faster and then the shuffling gets faster… that almost never happens. Then I hear in a very “slow” sounding gruff voice that sounds like it’s his first words in a week “I’m gonna kick you’re rear end Joe.”

Well since I am not Joe I turn around and politely let the man know I am not Joe. “I’m not Joe now leave me the gently caress alone.” I keep walking and I hear once again this time louder “I’m gone kick your rear end Joe. YOU HEAR ME I’M GONNA KICK YOU’RE rear end!!!” I turn around to see a short, fat, greasy, balding man whose face resembles a baseball glove that has been punched a few times. Apparently everyone is not as good natured about derelicts as I am. So I say ”I’m not Joe, not loving leave me alone or I’ll call the police” Those are “bobbies” to you readers in other places.

I then step into the coffee shop (did I mention I was at the door at this point? If not I’m sorry for being a lovely narrator) Well I get in and get my coffee sit down and look out the window and what do I see? Mongaloids face looking in at me. He appears to still be mouthing “I’m gonna kick you’re rear end Joe”. At this point I stand up and head for the door and he takes off galloping down to the apartments he came from and hiding in the door way. The rest of the night went by “normally” with neo-christians wishing that women were more docile like they used to be and me explaining how a sexually liberated woman is the best thing you can encounter and them explaining how hell works to me. So all in all it was a good night. And guess what? I get this kind of entertainment all the time in my life… all the freaking time! No wonder movies are such a let down.

Well my fellow goons I am closing this chapter of crazy adventures with derelicts. How about you? Anyone else have some fun stories worth repeating about the homeless, crazy or other wise reality skewed people?

This goes out to my nilla UFF

Also, lowtax's wife's pussy tastes like soy sauce.

P.S.


edit

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

RFC2324 posted:

I think you are thinking of the guy who crashed the forums by writing a script that ignored everyone else.

that guy was a genius

Malachite_Dragon posted:

Wasn't it specifically a script to auto-ignore anyone who posted in Coupons that wasn't a post about actual coupons and it brought the servers to their knees because it became a list of hundreds and hundreds of people? Or have there been multiple posters that have given the forums a heart attack through the power of the ignore list

smarxist posted:

https://www.popsci.com/technology/pill-bug-robot/

Milo and POTUS posted:

Being forced to work. Roly proleys

How Darwinian posted:

https://www.theguardian.com/film/2023/jul/04/barney-the-dinosaur-film-daniel-kaluuya

quote:

Daniel Kaluuya’s Barney the Dinosaur film to be ‘adult’ and ‘lean into millennial angst’

The Daniel Kaluuya-produced movie featuring Barney the Dinosaur will be an “adult”, “surrealistic” and “A24-type” film inspired by Charlie Kaufman and Spike Jonze, it has been revealed.

Troutful posted:

I love you
You love me
This film grapples with ennui

armpit_enjoyer posted:

telling Musk to do the lowtax play

lushka16 posted:

Wait, what?

Edit: oh dang!

Edit2: a lot has happened since I last came around the forums.

Douche Wolf 89 posted:

perhaps a sort of goon racebook where you can search if another user can use each slur??? astral?

Geemer posted:

Do we send the DNA samples directly to Jeffrey?

Cranappleberry posted:

he has many, stored in his computer