r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

Pope Hilarius II: Nov 10, 2008

Technocrat posted:

"Ai yah" shares etymological roots with similar expressions in other languages, like "ai yoh" in Sinhala, and "eheu" in Latin

There's no scientific evidence for a common ancestor between Indo-European and Sino-Tibetan languages though, so this is pretty unlikely.

Ghost Leviathan posted:

I feel like it's just that whole set of noises that humans are prone to make when surprised, excited or otherwise feeling strong sudden emotion.

This is the more likely truth. There is some evidence that humans are hard-wired to associate certain vowel sounds with sizes, emotions and objects.

# ? Jul 3, 2023 19:05

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# ? May 14, 2024 05:41

StrangersInTheNight: Dec 31, 2007; ABSOLUTE FUCKING GUDGEON

There is commonality with mama and papa style names/titles across cultures, because it seems they're some of the first sounds kids can reliably make.

# ? Jul 3, 2023 19:06

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

dervival posted:

good job idiot, you did exactly whatever malevolent dickhead who sent you that poo poo wanted you to do. I hope you're happy making people who wanted to hurt your wife happy?

Although apparently once he got into her Facebook he found enough to justify his suspicion.

# ? Jul 3, 2023 19:06

haveblue: Aug 15, 2005; Toilet Rascal

Pope Corky the IX posted:

I once went on a date with a woman I met on OKcupid and she showed up with her cockatoo and had bird poo poo on her left shoulder.

Not too wierd, lots of people go out with a wingman

# ? Jul 3, 2023 19:09

MK-Ultramarathon: Aug 12, 2009

DeadMansSuspenders posted:

A woman [33F] I [36M] am dating posted my picture to an online cheaters page

What are the threads thoughts on these online groups?

I've just recently gotten back into online dating and had a couple people tell me to join these groups, I have no desire to because 1) I hate interacting with Facebook and 2) they weird me out hard. I don't necessarily want somebody I don't even know giving me a whole scoop on somebody else I don't even know, anyway. Like, I'm in my 30s now, but I used to do a lot of dumb poo poo in my 20s and was kind of an emotional dumpster fire (still am but at least it's better controlled now). I wouldn't want somebody to be told all that after they met me once, it doesn't really represent who I am anymore.

# ? Jul 3, 2023 19:10

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

Just want to reiterate that abuse stories aren�t permitted in the thread and financial abuse counts. I�m not going to probe anyone for the most recent one but please keep it in mind for the future because I will.

# ? Jul 3, 2023 19:15

dervival: Apr 23, 2014

therobit posted:

Although apparently once he got into her Facebook he found enough to justify his suspicion.

If you've gotten paranoid enough to crack into someone's Facebook account I don't think you'll need much of anything of substance to justify suspicions, but I digress; have a relatively milquetoast story to compensate.

AITAH for changing (the) beneficiary on a college savings account from my niece to my stepdaughter?

quote:

I had set up a college account for my sister�s daughter when she was born. Tragically, my niece got sick and she passed away when she was a kid around 19 years ago. After her death, I changed the beneficiary on the account from my niece to my stepdaughter. At the time, she was the only other kid in my life. She has since gone to college and all the money in the account has been used.

A couple years after my sister's daughter passed away she had a son. He has just graduated high school, and my sister recently asked me about the money in the savings account. When I told her that the money had been spent on my stepdaughter's education she got really angry and that I had no right to do that. That I should have asked her first and that after her son was born I should have switched it over to him since he is daughter�s brother and her daughter was who the money was originally set aside for.

# ? Jul 3, 2023 19:21

The_Franz: Aug 8, 2003

Bright Bart posted:

"I believe strongly in following the rules by the book": I love you Gen Z, I really do, but you can be exhausting on this point.

[huffs and puffs then hands over ID he had with him]: Come on, Gen X. That be Boomer ish.

Things are also much stricter now, and people face more serious consequences for not following the rules than in the past. It's an age in the US where cops pull guns on kids buying water because they think their water is beer.

Hell, when I was in university, almost everyone had a fake ID, since a convincing one could still be made with an inkjet printer and $50 worth of supplies from the office supply store. If you were caught, most places just threw them out or held them for ransom, and even in the worst case scenario where the cops were involved, the worst that could happen was a $300 fine and points on your real license, as it was technically considered a moving violation, because you were using a fake driver's license. Now getting a fake ID probably involves sending cryptocurrency to Albanian gangsters who have their cousin who works at the government ID/passport office make them after hours on the expensive equipment, and getting caught with one can be felony-level trouble.

The last few times I was in Washington DC, every place I entered that served alcohol had a "no ID, no entry, no exceptions" rule.

# ? Jul 3, 2023 19:21

Nurglings: May 6, 2016

The_Franz posted:

Things are also much stricter now, and people face more serious consequences for not following the rules than in the past. It's an age in the US where cops pull guns on kids buying water because they think their water is beer.

Hell, when I was in university, almost everyone had a fake ID, since a convincing one could still be made with an inkjet printer and $50 worth of supplies from the office supply store. If you were caught, most places just threw them out or held them for ransom, and even in the worst case scenario where the cops were involved, the worst that could happen was a $300 fine and points on your real license, as it was technically considered a moving violation, because you were using a fake driver's license. Now getting a fake ID probably involves sending cryptocurrency to Albanian gangsters who have their cousin who works at the government ID/passport office make them after hours on the expensive equipment, and getting caught with one can be felony-level trouble.

The last few times I was in Washington DC, every place I entered that served alcohol had a "no ID, no entry, no exceptions" rule.

I had a buddy who got his fake ID from someone who knew someone who worked at the DMV, allegedly. I kind of believe it too because I live in FL and iirc it was one of the first states to add those hologram looking things to driver's licenses (this was back in like 2009), which I don't think you could convincingly replicate with stuff you can find at OfficeMax.

# ? Jul 3, 2023 19:28

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

dervival posted:

at least it wasn't a swamp dragon?

At least with a swamp dragon, you can use it to light your cigars.

# ? Jul 3, 2023 19:33

Tarkus: Aug 27, 2000

GenZ is the way they are for various reasons.

- They're not allowed to do anything as children. Can't walk to school. Can't play anywhere even a little bit dangerous or with some managed risk.
- They're not encouraged to solve problems on their own. Everything is guided and parents are encouraged to be full time entertainers and life-guides.
- If they're not being hovered over then it's the opposite, Youtube and video games are their guides to life while their parents can't be bothered.
- Social media and everyone is watching everything they do at all times. Have a bad day and freak out, there's a good chance it'll be shared among friends or tiktok and you'll be branded for years.
- Socialization is highly managed.

Of course this doesn't describe everyone in that generation and I know I'm being a bit hyperbolic but I hope things turn around soon for them.

# ? Jul 3, 2023 19:37

AreWeDrunkYet: Jul 8, 2006

Nurglings posted:

I had a buddy who got his fake ID from someone who knew someone who worked at the DMV, allegedly. I kind of believe it too because I live in FL and iirc it was one of the first states to add those hologram looking things to driver's licenses (this was back in like 2009), which I don't think you could convincingly replicate with stuff you can find at OfficeMax.

Not Office Max, but most art supply stores have what you need for the holograms. A thermal printer with a template for the state�s hologram will get it onto a sheet of laminate paper, then you laminate it over the id but under the outer laminate layer. The newer multi colored holograms are trickier than monochrome ones though.

e: Also as someone mentioned fake ids have gone from a �kids will be kids� thing to potential terrorism charges. That�s probably the biggest obstacle.

AreWeDrunkYet fucked around with this message at 19:45 on Jul 3, 2023

# ? Jul 3, 2023 19:43

Elviscat: Jan 1, 2008; Well don't you know I'm caught in a trap?

Samovar posted:

But... But CV is Latin...

Not to sound creepy, but I looked over your posts and couldn't find this anecdote. I'd like to hear it!

Sure, I already gave away the salient part.

My Submarine pulled into Haakonsvern, Norway for resupply and a little downtime, the port is right next to Bergen, a lovely touristy town, so it's a great place for a Sailor to get some liberty. There's a bus that runs from the port to the town set up just for us, sitting right outside the security checkpoint, which is manned by armed Norwegian sailors, usually 18-19, since Norway practices conscription. If you don't know, pretty much every Norwegian speaks English, typically flawless English in the case of younger ones, it was generally easier for us to understand the natives in Bergen than it was in Glasgow.

So I'm on the bus, right behind the senior most person on the boat who's not the captain, windows are open while we wait to leave, because it's a nice day. Our security guards are shooting the poo poo in, of course, Norwegian because they are Norwegians, and we can hear them through the windows.

Dude is just glaring daggers at these two kids out the window, and he finally turns away and mutters "speak fuckin' English" just quietly enough they didn't hear him. Same dude also insisted one of my buddies stop writing his Mom e-mails in Spanish, because "he couldn't read them" which would've made sense from a security perspective, if several of the people that were SUPPOSED to be screening e-mails off the boat weren't fluent Spanish speakers themselves. Dude just wanted to creep on people's e-mails. My buddy's mom lived in the DR, and didn't have anyone fluent enough in English to translate the emails to Spanish for her.

So I guess I knew someone so racist, he managed to be racist against the whitest people on earth.

# ? Jul 3, 2023 19:46

spite house: Apr 28, 2009

Tarkus posted:

GenZ is the way they are for various reasons.

They also deeply mistrust grownups. Us older millennials rebelled plenty, in a "no gently caress you Dad" kind of way, but to get there you kinda need to have a disillusionment moment where you realize your parents are full of poo poo after a childhood of assuming they hung the moon. GenZ never had that moment; they've always been disillusioned. In the absence of trustworthy human authorities, they rely on Rules for guidance. It's pretty drat Lord of the Flies in zoomerland.

# ? Jul 3, 2023 19:50

JacquelineDempsey: Aug 6, 2008; Women's Circuit Bender Union Local 34

Yeah it seems to me like those groups are more retroactive "how can I get back at this guy?!" than proactive "I like this guy, but he's exhibited some sus behavior" form of self protection.

I'll admit to googling the last guy I met after our first date, but frustratingly, there was a famed football player by the same name in a UK city by the same name.

We'll be celebrating our 20th anniversary in September. :3:

Edit: whoops I seem to have missed a page

JacquelineDempsey fucked around with this message at 19:53 on Jul 3, 2023

# ? Jul 3, 2023 19:51

The_Franz: Aug 8, 2003

AreWeDrunkYet posted:

Not Office Max, but most art supply stores have what you need for the holograms. A thermal printer with a template for the state�s hologram will get it onto a sheet of laminate paper, then you laminate it over the id but under the outer laminate layer. The newer multi colored holograms are trickier than monochrome ones though.

e: Also as someone mentioned fake ids have gone from a �kids will be kids� thing to potential terrorism charges. That�s probably the biggest obstacle.

I don't know about every state, but the last time I renewed my driver's license in the US, it's now similar to how EU countries issue IDs in they don't actually print them on-site, you go through the process, and the card is produced at some central location and mailed to you a week later. The equipment needed to produce documents that meet federal security standards is too expensive to outfit every location, and centralizing production means that you don't have the equipment and blank templates floating around outside of a single, secure location. Places also have equipment to scan and verify IDs now, so fakes are even less likely to work.

# ? Jul 3, 2023 19:58

Elfface: Nov 14, 2010; Da-na-na-na-na-na-na
IRON JONAH

I'm sorry, but David Beckham was cheating on you.

# ? Jul 3, 2023 19:59

Farg: Nov 19, 2013

if someone did that to me I would probably try to broadcast what they did in whatever way would cause humiliation as an act of vengeance

# ? Jul 3, 2023 19:59

AreWeDrunkYet: Jul 8, 2006

The_Franz posted:

I don't know about every state, but the last time I renewed my driver's license in the US, it's now similar to how EU countries issue IDs in they don't actually print them on-site, you go through the process, and the card is produced at some central location and mailed to you a week later. The equipment needed to produce documents that meet federal security standards is too expensive to outfit every location, and centralizing production means that you don't have the equipment and blank templates floating around outside of a single, secure location. Places also have equipment to scan and verify IDs now, so fakes are even less likely to work.

The barcodes on IDs are not encrypted (can't be or the readers would need connectivity to a central authority), there are tons of off the shelf products that can encode both linear and 2d barcodes.

e: That said, the new real IDs are much harder to comprehensively reproduce than what they replaced. The forensic security measures on there are way more advanced, but what that means in practice is that you can't get away with giving a fake ID to a cop or airport security. Most bars and liquor stores aren't equipped to check against the newer features.

AreWeDrunkYet fucked around with this message at 20:15 on Jul 3, 2023

# ? Jul 3, 2023 20:04

Bright Bart: Apr 27, 2020; False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped

Thing about hitting the legal drinking age, is you're no longer reliant on sketchy ways to obtain alcohol but you become a sketchy way to obtain alcohol for others. They make the same requests you did not long ago. And maybe you comply. I won't judge. You're still an idiot kid yourself. And the people you're buying for are similar in age to yourself.

But the way your changing perception works means that not too many years later you get asked and are like 'No baby no. I'm not buying that for you. I fully believe you're seventeen almost eighteen and want just this bottle of wine for frosh week. But you look like you're in middle school and there's no way I'm getting you alcohol.'.

Bright Bart fucked around with this message at 20:08 on Jul 3, 2023

# ? Jul 3, 2023 20:05

JacquelineDempsey: Aug 6, 2008; Women's Circuit Bender Union Local 34

Elfface posted:

I'm sorry, but David Beckham was cheating on you.

Goddamn it, if only FB groups had been around! You lied to me, Friendster!

(Also I love your Iron JJJ av)

# ? Jul 3, 2023 20:13

trickybiscuits: Jan 13, 2008; yospos

Cloacamazing! posted:

Yeah, my previous employer tripled my workload and when the time came to renew my contract, faffed around for months and eventually only offered me a one year extension. Then when I walked out because I had been jobsearching for the past two months they were shocked that I would do this to them.

Good for you! The stupid comments had someone bragging about how their son/nephew/whatever relative had a business and one employee wanted a 20% raise. The business owning relative said they could get that raise if they worked 5 days a week instead of 4. It was bizarre watching people be so happy to treat employees like they were the enemy. Old people have been complaining about young people since time immemorial but the past thirty years of being able to treat employees like garbage has broken some brains.

Related, I'm very annoyed that the monthly pickup of my workplace's recycling (which is considerable) has been delayed by nearly two weeks, but I was pleased to hear that it's because all the recycling company's employees have all quit, which is usually something that happens only with terrible management.

Bright Bart posted:

Someone very smart that I know once laughed at me for calling it a CV. What, are you French? he asked.

I'm like Oh sorry I'll use the very American word r�sum�.

Except he conceded the point. And he was an engineer so that was surprising actually.

Yup

# ? Jul 3, 2023 20:14

AreWeDrunkYet: Jul 8, 2006

trickybiscuits posted:

Good for you! The stupid comments had someone bragging about how their son/nephew/whatever relative had a business and one employee wanted a 20% raise. The business owning relative said they could get that raise if they worked 5 days a week instead of 4. It was bizarre watching people be so happy to treat employees like they were the enemy. Old people have been complaining about young people since time immemorial but the past thirty years of being able to treat employees like garbage has broken some brains.

lol at someone offering 20% more money for 25% more work.

# ? Jul 3, 2023 20:16

ApplesandOranges: Jun 22, 2012; Thankee kindly.

I was a square so I didn't really hang out with people who would drink or wanted to drink alcohol til I was in my mid-20s. Also applied to dating; I think I only knew of one person in my peer group that was dating someone til I hit uni.

Made for quite a boring teenagerhood, I guess.

# ? Jul 3, 2023 20:22

trickybiscuits: Jan 13, 2008; yospos

AreWeDrunkYet posted:

lol at someone offering 20% more money for 25% more work.

It may have been a 25% raise. It was hard to read due to being so repulsive.

JacquelineDempsey posted:

Yeah it seems to me like those groups are more retroactive "how can I get back at this guy?!" than proactive "I like this guy, but he's exhibited some sus behavior" form of self protection.

I'll admit to googling the last guy I met after our first date, but frustratingly, there was a famed football player by the same name in a UK city by the same name.

We'll be celebrating our 20th anniversary in September.

Edit: whoops I seem to have missed a page

This reads like you married the football player. Either way, congratulations!

# ? Jul 3, 2023 20:26

Bright Bart: Apr 27, 2020; False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped

AreWeDrunkYet posted:

lol at someone offering 20% more money for 25% more work.

The incremental value of your labour dimishes. That's why overtime pays half the regular rate.

# ? Jul 3, 2023 20:27

Deformed Church: May 12, 2012; 5'5", IQ 81

r/legaladvice is cool right? OP's friend has a problem

Someone attended an event at a hotel that my friends put on, this guy and girl started having s*x on a table, which full over and broke. $10k of damage, who is liable?

quote:

So the situation is: No liability waivers were signed

1. There was an orgy at a hotel room. There was a volunteer bartender and liquor, though no one was visibly drunken.

2. An attendee wanted to have sex with a girl on a marble table, so they did, and it toppled over, and he cut his foot and says it is broken.

3. This attendee was doing a LOT of cocaine and serving it some girls. No one else other than his crew was seen doing cocaine. It was not provided or encouraged or seen by the hosts.

4. The attendee says the volunteer bartender okay�d him to have sex on the table. The bartender insists he never okay�d this and simply said �i dont know man.�

5. The attendee told the host, verbally, he would cover the costs of the damages

6. One of the hosts heard the table crash. He asked to exchange instagrams with the parties that caused the damage, they did, then by the morning, the two people unfollowed him and removed him from followers so he wouldn�t know who they were.

7. The attendee sent the host a DM saying he would split the cost. Then they told him the price and he unsent the DM.

8. Attendee is saying he is not liable for the damages and saying he may be due compensation for the damage to his foot

9. The table he toppled was a one center leg table, which was in perfect condition prior to being broken.

I think that the attendee is liable for the damage and the host is not liable for the injury the attendee sustained in foolishly using the table as a place of sex. Correct?

# ? Jul 3, 2023 20:37

MK-Ultramarathon: Aug 12, 2009

Deformed Church posted:

r/legaladvice is cool right? OP's friend has a problem

Someone attended an event at a hotel that my friends put on, this guy and girl started having s*x on a table, which full over and broke. $10k of damage, who is liable?

Everything about this rules, but one of my favorite parts is exchanging Instagram info to discuss covering damages. You literally don't have any other avenue of communication?

# ? Jul 3, 2023 20:40

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Racism + Greed + Mealy-Mouthed Cowardice = this

AITA For Questioning Why My Husband Wasn't Invited to My Cousin's Party

quote:

I (36f) am a white American, my husband "Tom" of 8+ years is a Black man from Zimbabwe. We met while students in the Netherlands. Weirdly no one has ever been unkind about us being an interracial couple (at least not to my face), so I wonder if I am overreaching into this situation, because I have never faced this.

My older cousin "Jim"'s son "Alex" is graduated from high school in may. I grew up next door to Jim and his siblings and we are all very close. Jim initially told me that Alex did not want to have a big graduation party, but if I wanted to stop by quickly on the Saturday after the graduation, I was welcome to do so. He asked three or four times if Tom would be coming and was very insistent that it was not necessary. Tom has a big project pending at work so I figured he didn't need to come with for me to drop off a check and a card, so the whole thing did seem weird.

Well, I arrive at Jim's house to find a full on party underway. I was incredibly shocked and when I asked my aunt (Jim's mom) what was going on she said that the party had been planned for months and that's why we were all invited over. I told her what Jim had told me and she looked a bit sheepish and said, "Oh, that' probably because "Sarah's" family is here." Sarah is Jim's wife. I don't know her family well and haven't really seen them since Jim and Sarah's wedding when I was a teenager. Anyway, regardless of any explanation I left, without saying goodbye or leaving the card and check on the gift table (this will be important later).

Jim called me the next day asking where I had gone. I told him I was shocked that there was a party when I was explicitly told there would be no party and thus not to bring my husband. Jim started to cry (which is weird and out of character) and told me that Sarah's family is "very old fashion" and would disapprove of an interracial couple. They didn't want to cause a scene on Alex's big day, but they wanted me there so they came up with a "half-truth" to keep Tom from coming. I was, to say the least speechless. I just hung up the phone.

Later my mom called to say, she hadn't known about the whole plan to keep Tom away, but she had spoken to her sister (my aunt) who was very hurt that I hadn't left Alex his gift. My mom said AITA for punishing Alex for what his parents did and I should give him the check I was planning on giving him. Frankly, I don't want anything to do with any of them right now, but I worry I am being unfair to Alex. So reddit, what say you?

Aunt showing up at the very end with very sincere concern about the check is a great finishing touch.

"They didn't want to cause a scene on Alex's big day, but they wanted me there" - yeah, they wanted you there so you could drop off the check, because that's all you and your husband mean to them.

# ? Jul 3, 2023 20:48

Tarkus: Aug 27, 2000

Bright Bart posted:

The incremental value of your labour dimishes. That's why overtime pays half the regular rate.

Overtime pays 1 and a half times the regular rate. Where is it only half?

# ? Jul 3, 2023 20:49

Elviscat: Jan 1, 2008; Well don't you know I'm caught in a trap?

MK-Ultramarathon posted:

Everything about this rules, but one of my favorite parts is exchanging Instagram info to discuss covering damages. You literally don't have any other avenue of communication?

You don't exchange IG/Twitter/SC handles after like a car crash? #Oopsranredlightlol

E^^^ they are ironically referencing time-and-a-half to debase the idea of paying 20% more for 25% more work. i.e. it should be 37.5% pay for 25% more work.

Elviscat fucked around with this message at 20:54 on Jul 3, 2023

# ? Jul 3, 2023 20:50

Big Bowie Bonanza: Dec 30, 2007; please tell me where i can date this cute boy

Bright Bart posted:

The incremental value of your labour dimishes. That's why overtime pays half the regular rate.

I�m sorry, what?

# ? Jul 3, 2023 20:57

Huggybear: Jun 17, 2005; I got the jimjams

Tarkus posted:

GenZ is the way they are for various reasons.

- They're not allowed to do anything as children. Can't walk to school. Can't play anywhere even a little bit dangerous or with some managed risk.
- They're not encouraged to solve problems on their own. Everything is guided and parents are encouraged to be full time entertainers and life-guides.
- If they're not being hovered over then it's the opposite, Youtube and video games are their guides to life while their parents can't be bothered.
- Social media and everyone is watching everything they do at all times. Have a bad day and freak out, there's a good chance it'll be shared among friends or tiktok and you'll be branded for years.
- Socialization is highly managed.

Of course this doesn't describe everyone in that generation and I know I'm being a bit hyperbolic but I hope things turn around soon for them.

I know, work with and have managed and taught dozens of Gen Z and almost none of this is relevant to most of them. Most Gen Z are extremely skeptical suspicious of social media and only use messaging features to privately communicate, or very occasionally post the most generic of life experience, like a vacation. If anything I am consistently impressed by this generation's self-awareness and independence. Socialization is not highly managed, they are simply socialized, generally, with more empathy and less value judgement

This list sounds a lot like most GenX people I know, who need to air every inconvenience, grievance, meal, day out and minor life event on social media and have it be celebrated or soothed by their boomer relatives

# ? Jul 3, 2023 20:58

Ominous Jazz: Jun 15, 2011; Big D is chillin' over here
Wasteland style

the holy poopacy posted:

me: ugh. this is gross but it's not news.
her: ugh. yeah, this is gross but it's not news.
me: WHAT IS SHE HIDING?

If someone sends you porn of your wife, send them higher quality and more professionally made porn starring you and your wife back. Show them you're not intimidated and a proficient lover.

Edit:

Deformed Church posted:

r/legaladvice is cool right? OP's friend has a problem

Someone attended an event at a hotel that my friends put on, this guy and girl started having s*x on a table, which full over and broke. $10k of damage, who is liable?

The hotel pays for the foot, but given that the dude was coked up enough probably won't pay this idiot. The friend who got the room is liable for the destruction. Case dismissed.

Ominous Jazz fucked around with this message at 21:07 on Jul 3, 2023

# ? Jul 3, 2023 21:03

Kurieg: Jul 19, 2012; RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20

WIBTA for reporting my mom and sister for "stealing" my car

quote:

I 24(m) live with my mom in a rural part of the USA. For context when it comes to my sister(37), she is much older and we come from different fathers, and both grew up in split custody arrangements. We are not particularly close, almost acquaintances moreso than siblings. I dont really feel any familial connection even though I love her, I dont feel obligated to bend backward for her.

Well sister lives 2 hours away (in a much more urban area) and is currently going through a divorce. Her and her ex-husband only had one vehicle and it belongs to the ex-husband, so when they split, he took the car. Sister has 4 daughters and works a full time job, I on the other hand work from home and have no real external responsibilities.

My mom came to me asking if my sister could borrow my car for a couple of months until the divorce is finalized so she has a way of transporting her and her kids to wherever they need to be without the financial burden of purchasing another car, or relying exclusively on ridesharing.

I just recently bought my car('12 V8 Mustang), and its my first vehicle ever, i didnt get a hand-me-down, or get one as a present when I turned 16 or 18, I was basically immobile except occasionally being allowed to drive my moms car, or when my dad had me I could get ubers. Getting my own vehicle was extremely liberating (minus the loan), and I don't feel trapped at home, so when I was approached with this proposal I flat out said no.

I can totally understand the justification for letting her use my car for a couple months, but aside from the fact I dont want to lose my newfound sense of freedom, I also just dont want someone else driving my car, and maybe thats selfish of me.

Over the last few days my mom and sister have been trying to convince me to let her use the car, saying that she would pay for the car payment while she has the car, or that she'd pay for insurance if she has it longer than anticipated. No matter what they brought to the table, I kept saying no. Much to their dissatisfaction.

FF to this morning, I realize that my mom isn't home. I opened our garage to see that her car was still there, but mine was not. I immediately know what has happened and call my mom about the situation. She just tries to calm me down and have me try to picture it from my sisters point of view, but im just flushed with rage and instead just tell her that im going to report the vehicle as stolen instead. She just hung up the phone.

As of now i presume my car is down with my sister, and i am seriously considering reporting it stolen and naming her and my sister as perpetrator and conspirator. I really dont want it to go that far, and I hope that we could instead work this out. But what I initially said as an angry threat, im starting to really consider as an option. I just dont know if its worth burning so many bridges over a car, but the fact that my family wont respect my boundaries or my property is so frustrating.

WIBTA?

quote:

UPDATE: Thanks everyone for all the input into the situation, I sincerely appreciate it.
I ended up giving them an ultimatum to return my car by business close tonight. And if they do, I would be willing to move past it, and not let it affect any future relationships. Said I would also pitch in a small amount of money to help my sister rent/buy her own car.
But if they dont return it by business close I will be filing a police report that my vehicle has been stolen and that it was my mom who is the perpetrator and my sister is a conspirator.
To answer a couple questions all at once.
Mom has her own car, but doesnt want to lend hers out because she needs it for work every day. I had offered to let her use mine for work and she lend out her car to Sister, but she refuted this idea saying that she doesn't feel comfortable driving my car and that she needs ample space for medical supplies (she is an in home nurse)
I am well aware that my living situation will change if I call the police on my mom and sister, but honestly the living situation is already compromised. Regardless of the resolution, I will be moving out as immediately as possible, as I am financially stable enough to do so. This whole thing is just the straw that broke the camels back.
Will update again if car has been returned or not

# ? Jul 3, 2023 21:28

Fatty: Sep 13, 2004; Not really fat

Deformed Church posted:

Someone attended an event at a hotel that my friends put on, this guy and girl started having s*x on a table, which full over and broke. $10k of damage, who is liable?

I think the threads been heavily moderated since I first saw it, but I'm fairly certain the guy admitted it was a sex party. I guess that's probably why there's non-standard methods of communication.

# ? Jul 3, 2023 21:50

DeadMansSuspenders: Jan 10, 2012; I wanna be your left hand man

I usually only post from r/r but this one came up when I forgot to set my filters...

I'm[f36] getting really lonely, but hubby[m34] doesn't want to change our open relationship rules.

quote:

Originally opening up our marriage was my idea. When presented with the idea hubby was strongly against it, however after just one night of thinking about it he changed his mind and was enthusiastic about it.

I have set up rules and borders. To keep everything private, family and friends are off the table, use protection... Hubby was OK with those. The only rule that he added is that we do not have to fulfil each other sexual/romantic/emotional needs anymore. I was OK with that.

I took a very "classic" approach to an open marriage and just started going out with other men. Hubby took a very alternative approach.

He had built a huge man cave in the basement and practically moved into it. It's his room now, he sleeps there too. Doesn't want to watch movies with me, cuddle or anything. Also he started going to the gym with his coworker, they go out together, spend a lot of time in his mancave, she even sleeps over sometimes. However hubby insists that they are just friends and he is not bringing his lover to our house and I believe him, she seems gay.

Our daughter spends a lot of her time with them. They play videogames, billiard, music. Sometimes they order takeaway food and eat down there. She doesn't spend a lot of time with me. The rest of the house seems deserted.

I broke one rule and have asked my husband about his sex life. He says that sometimes he hires an "escort girl", and that experience can last him for a month or two. I wanted to share but he didn't want to know anything about my sex life.

So all in all he has managed to set up his life just fine within the borders and rules we had set up. He had "compartmentalised" every need in his life. He gets sex from sex workers, they do not complain, company and emotional support from his friend, which doesn't complain, I guess we are partners in finances and parents of our child.

They made a plan to make a huge tour of Europe together, hubby asked me is it OK to take our daughter this summer to tag along with them.

I wanted to tag along. He declined :/

I asked my daughter does she want to travel with me this summer, she said that I am boring and want's to go with her dad. :/

I'm starting to feel really lonely. Hubby is not interested in deeper conversations, touches, cuddles, even sex initiations. He is only interested in doing "fun" stuff.

I talked with my hubby about changing the rules of our relationship, so that we can get atleast one day per week of us time. He said that he is OK about changing a rule about being emotional with our partners. So I can find a lover which is emotionally supportive and wants to spend time and travel with me.

I tried doing that, but it turned into a proper shitshow. I made plans to spend this Xmas with my lover, and ended up spending it alone.

So I resorted to using an ultimatum. I placed divorce on the table. Hubby said that we are financially much better off together, but if I want one he is not going to make it hard for me.

Now what?

# ? Jul 3, 2023 21:57

Josef bugman: Nov 17, 2011; Pictured: Poster prepares to celebrate Holy Communion (probablY)

This avatar made possible by a gift from the Religionthread Posters Relief Fund

DeadMansSuspenders posted:

I'm[f36] getting really lonely, but hubby[m34] doesn't want to change our open relationship rules.

What in the first blue staring gently caress do you think is going to happen?

# ? Jul 3, 2023 22:03

Big Bowie Bonanza: Dec 30, 2007; please tell me where i can date this cute boy

That open relationship post didn�t go where I thought it would but was still predictable. I don�t have anything against people in open relationships but I do love a good open relationship self own post

# ? Jul 3, 2023 22:05

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 14, 2024 05:41

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

DeadMansSuspenders posted:

I'm[f36] getting really lonely, but hubby[m34] doesn't want to change our open relationship rules.

I broke one rule and have asked my husband about his sex life.

That�s like some of the most basic and important information you need to share with your primary partner and co-parent if you�re going to even attempt something like this, what the gently caress?

# ? Jul 3, 2023 22:09

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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