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Malachite_Dragon
Mar 31, 2010

Weaving Merry Christmas magic
:psypop: In what loving world is "lol u been left at the altar" supposed to be funny

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Biplane
Jul 18, 2005

My harmless joke that demonstrably caused harm

Coca Koala
Nov 28, 2005

ongoing nowhere
College Slice
At first she didn’t believe me so I convinced her I wasn’t lying, anyways why did she take my joke so seriously?

wheatpuppy
Apr 25, 2008

YOU HAVE MY POST!

Coca Koala posted:

At first she didn’t believe me so I convinced her I wasn’t lying, anyways why did she take my joke so seriously?

"I was gonna tell her it was a joke. Not right away, and not when she started to panic, and not when she cried, and not when she started physically searching for him. But eventually I was gonna fess up. Maybe after they finished dragging the lake."

Foo Diddley
Oct 29, 2011

cat
AITA for (jokingly) telling my GF she should feel privileged to cook for me?

quote:

My girlfriend (F23) and I (M23) have a bit of a complicated past. We’ve known each other for quite some time now, as we met in high school. I will admit that back then, at least during the first year or two of high school, I wasn’t exactly nice to her, but I have since owned up to that.

We became better friends in college and during our last year of it, she started developing feelings for me. I know this because around this point, she became very nice to me and would seemingly always find reasons to be around me. Her friends also point-blank told me that she liked me and that I should make a move. Since I was pretty busy at this point in my life, I never did. Instead, she asked me out a few times. Given that I was so busy, I had declined most of her offers.

Since graduating, we have begun seeing each other and became a couple around 3 months ago. She’s been ecstatic about this and basically tells me every day how happy she is with this. But recently, I think she's starting to have second thoughts.

Last weekend, several of my friends were in town, so I decided to hang out with them. She really wanted us to hang out on that particular weekend for some time now (since we’d both have time off from work), but when I explained that my friends were coming, she said that it was alright if I spent time with them instead of her.

I did, but since then she seems to have become distant and a bit cold. Yesterday, while I was at work, she came by my apartment. When I got back, she was cooking something, and I could tell that she had tidied the place up a bit.

I tried chatting with her a bit, but she’d only give short answers and seemed upset. I asked her if anything was bothering her, and she told me that this relationship was nothing like how she had imagined and that I was being very self-centered because I didn't hang out with her last weekend. She also said that overall, I seemed much more focused on myself versus us (I’m not entirely sure what that means).

I got a little defensive and (probably stupidly) reminded her that she was the one who pursued me. She looked surprised at this and said that was irrelevant now. I then jokingly added that maybe instead of being upset, she should feel privileged that she got herself to the point where she could cook for me.

She got really upset with this and started grabbing her things. I told her to stay so that we could talk, but she refused and left. I have not texted her since, as I think she would like some space. This morning I got a text from one of her friends just saying "Wow you're dumb".

AITA?

More context: For those wondering, I did try to show affection when she was complaining. I tried to hug and kiss her but she moved away from me and said it was belittling. Which prompted me to make the joke.

love a guy with a sense of humor

Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...



AITA for not letting my GF eat the naan bread we ordered?

quote:

My GF and I got take out from an Indian restaurant we like and order from usually when our budget allows us. This place is really the only good Indian place anywhere near us but it is very pricey, and so we try to keep our order small (1 entree for me, 1 entree for her, and a side of naan bread that we share). The thing is, the side of bread isnt very much, and the entree just isnt the same without it. So it seriously annoys me when she eats the bread without dipping it in her curry. Its such a waste of the little bread that we get. I told her this before but says its not my concern how she eats her food. Except it is my concern because she is wasting a SHARED side. Whatever, I let it go each time.

This time she didnt order curry like she usually does, she got biryani (rice and meat) so I was happy that I would get the bread to myself. While we were eating, she reaches over for the bread and eats a piece on its own. I got annoyed and moved the bread away from her and told her she doesnt need the bread since she isnt eating a curry and doesnt need bread whereas I am eating a curry so I do need bread, also that her entree comes with rice and she can eat that. She got offended and ended up threatening not to pay her share for the food next time. She also called me a greedy rear end in a top hat and took her food and ate the rest in our bedroom.

My friends are split, one of them says I'm in the right and it's too much carbs for one meal for her to have bread and rice, but the other friend essentially also called me a greedy rear end in a top hat. Its been hours and she's ignoring me. AITA?

B-but she's not eating the food she paid for how I want to :qq:

Vim Fuego
Jun 1, 2000

I LITERALLY SLEEP IN A RACING CAR. DO YOU?
p.s. ask me about my subscription mattress
Ultra Carp

Midnight Voyager posted:

Argued his mom into missing the mother/son dance and everything, amazing

lmao owned

Cowslips Warren
Oct 29, 2005

What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?

Grimey Drawer

Foo Diddley posted:

AITA for (jokingly) telling my GF she should feel privileged to cook for me?

love a guy with a sense of humor

One of my friends had his then-wife pursue him similarly; he had a girl at the time, and she kept flirting with him. Eventually they got together after a few years of him being in other relationships, and her somewhat but always paying him a lot of attention. And it worked, they stayed together and got married and were together like 12 years...until he realized her attention had gone from "pick me I like you!" to a frantic dependent who would ask him where he was going if he ever went to the bathroom without her. I'm sure there were other reasons their marriage fell apart, but I remember how many times he'd get pissed she would act like a child without object permanence and want to know where he was going if he got off the couch with her, or ever left the room without her.


AITA for telling my sister that she knew what she was getting when she settled for my cast-off ex?

quote:

If you had told me years ago that I would be in this situation, I would have laughed, but here we go. My boyfriend suggested that I get an outside perspective here.

I (26F) was dating “James” (M26) for most of college and we had plans to get engaged after graduation. Two months before graduation, I caught him planning to cheat. Nothing physical seemed to have happened yet, but he and another girl were making plans for a weekend that he told me he was going for a quick visit home. Cheating is an instant dealbreaker to me, so it was over. Instead of having a fight, I didn’t say anything, just waited til after he left for “home”, texted him proof that I had caught him and “good thing you’re single now, have fun”, then blocked him on everything and went for a girls weekend with friends. James lost his poo poo and spent a month trying to get in contact with me or guilt friends into helping him. The few messages that got through I trashed without even reading them. After awhile, I thought he had finally given up.

About a year later, my sister (24F) announces she wants to bring her boyfriend home to meet the family. We didn’t realize she had a boyfriend, but my parents had a BBQ and told her to bring him. It was James. My parents were stunned but tried to pull it together. I just left. My sister called and tried to explain later that they had met at a party on campus and it was no big deal since I broke up with him. I told her I thought she could do better, but she could make her own mistakes. I just wouldn’t be spending time around them. She got mad about it, because our parents “took my side”.

I don’t get along with my sister at the best of times, so avoiding them wasn’t hard except at holidays. My parents caved and let him come to Thanksgiving and Christmas since they seemed serious. James seemed way too invested in getting back on my good side when he was around and it apparently made my sister jealous, because she started acting brattier than normal. This last weekend was a milestone birthday for my mom and I thought it would be a good chance to introduce them to my boyfriend Todd (29M). Mom gave it the ok and Todd actually made a great impression on the family. James was there with my sister and he was pissed and left early. My sister called me later and yelled at me for upsetting James and trying to make him jealous to get his attention. I told her that she knew she was getting a cheat when she decided to date my sloppy seconds and he was no longer my problem.

Since then she’s blown up social media venting about it and is refusing to see my parents for the holidays if Todd and I are there. My parents think she’s over the top and acting out but she’s on their case so much they want me to try and smooth it over and apologize for calling him sloppy seconds. I think it was an apt description.

Abugadu
Jul 12, 2004

1st Sgt. Matthews and the men have Procured for me a cummerbund from a traveling gypsy, who screeched Victory shall come at a Terrible price. i am Honored.

Captain Hygiene posted:

AITA for not letting my GF eat the naan bread we ordered?

B-but she's not eating the food she paid for how I want to :qq:

that relationship gonna be naan-existent soon enough

Biplane
Jul 18, 2005

Would kill for some naan right about now.

Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...



Biplane posted:

Would kill for some naan right about now.

But you don't even have any curry! :argh:

Foo Diddley
Oct 29, 2011

cat
this must be some primo fuckin naan if a second order of it would break the bank

SulfurMonoxideCute
Feb 9, 2008

I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

gently caress you and gently caress your carb gatekeeping

ApplesandOranges
Jun 22, 2012

Thankee kindly.
AITA for asking my friend’s girlfriend if she had a problem with our sexual past?

quote:

Back in 2020, I started hanging out and hooking up a guy who lives in my neighborhood after we met via Tinder. It lasted for about 6 months, until I noticed a shift in his interest towards romantic and sexual activities, asked him about it and we decided to keep it friendly. We went a few months without seeing each other until I messaged him to hang out as friends, it was fun and we both felt comfortable so we’ve been meeting every other month for dinner or drinks as friends ever since. There has been no sexual nor romantic advances on either part in all that time, we truly are just friends. A year and a half ago he started dating a girl about 9 years younger than us (we’re both 33, she’s 24) and when he first told me about her I suggested perhaps we should stop hanging out. He said she didn’t have a problem with it since we’re just friends and she’s understanding and chill and seemed weirded out that I would suggest that. I honestly just didn’t want her to feel uncomfortable or threatened by our friendship and wanted my friend and her to work out, that was all.

I had not met her until just a few days ago. My friend invited me to one of his band’s concerts and his gf was there too, apparently she had suggested him inviting me since I had never been to one of their concerts. We chatted for a bit while he packed his drumset. She is pretty and seems nice enough. I then asked her whether she had a problem with me being friends with her bf due to us having dated in the past. She suddenly turned serious and said: “I will give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you’re bringing this up with good intention, but to be honest, that is between my boyfriend and I and I don’t have a need to discuss your sexual past with you”. I thought that response was excessive and uncalled for and a telltale sign that she is indeed insecure about our friendship. I had dinner with my friend today and he said his gf told him about the incident and said that she believes I still have romantic feelings for him, however she doesn’t care whether we remain friends because he trusts him. He seemed a little bit uncomfortable about the situation and suggested it was inappropriate of me to make that question to his gf. I think she’s immature and insecure but won’t tell him that.

OP in comments posted:

Oh yeah I'm super jealous that my 33 year old friend is dating a 24 year old. Does nobody seriously think maybe that's an important factor to take into account? And I never said I think she's prettier than I am. A lot of people are fake nowadays. I was suspicious that she suggested inviting me. What was her reasoning? If she didn't go to every single one of my friend's concerts like his little lap..... dog he probably would have invited me much sooner

Ah, how quickly the mask crumbles.

BrigadierSensible
Feb 16, 2012

I've got a pocket full of cheese🧀, and a garden full of trees🌴.

Kurieg posted:

AITA for refusing to stop calling my daughter a nickname

Give me your beloved childhood nickname

If this was the 15 year old daughter telling her father to stop using a potentially embarassing and arguably infantalizing misogynist nick name, then not a soul would be against her.

But for her aunt to try and claim the nickname because they have already decided it for their baby is wrong.

Also, it seems like it's not even the girls nickname, just a cute pet name that her dad calls her. In the wide world the nickname her friends/co-workers etc. have given her is not mentioned at all. Something else that is not mentioned at all is the 15 year old girl in question, and her agency. If she minds being called princess by her dad, if she has an attachment to the nickname etc.

She is an afterthought to her Aunt and Uncle's plans on what they want to call their daughter.

FoolyCharged
Oct 11, 2012

Cheating at a raffle? I sentence you to 1 year in jail! No! Two years! Three! Four! Five years! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
Somebody call for an ant?

ApplesandOranges posted:

AITA for wanting my best friend to turn down an important job offer?]

You deserved better, Crowley.

Pomme de Terror
Sep 30, 2021

Well, one of us must have killed him!
AITA for refusing to give my son’s « free » room to my cousin who is living with us ?

quote:

Me (M36) and my partner (M38) have 2 kids Luke (M18) and Jay (M15).

Some background info : We took the boys under our care when they were 8 and 11. Before they came with us they had been in different families/ group homes for over a year. It was hard for luke to understand that they were with us for good and that he had his own bedroom and family. Me and my partner know that he stills sometimes has insecurities about it and a recent one was about him leaving for college.

We explained to Luke that even if he was 18 and leaving the house he would still have a room and place at home, be it now or in 10/25 years. That he would still be our kid at 40 and we will always be here for him.

Now the issue. My cousin (F42) recently broke up and needed a somewhere to live for her and her two boys (M16/M12).

Me and my partner have a house big enough and we agreed to host them free of charge for 6 months until she gets her bearings back. For the house me and my partner have a kind of master bedroom with our bedroom, bathroom and office. Our boys have their own room and they share a bathroom and my cousin’s boys have the guest room with a bathroom. My cousin has a room on the ground floor, it’s not big but she has the space for a bed, a desk and a wardrobe.

Last week we got the keys for Luke’s flat and we started the process of furnishing it, he will offically move in next week and will start uni the week after.

This week end my cousin asked when Luke’s room will be empty. I told her that it will not be, that he will only take his clothes, books, decorative items… basically his room will stay the same and he will take only what he wanted. She then asked how she will be able to move in the room with all his stuff still here. I told her she won’t, that it will still be his bedroom. He will still come home on some week ends, holidays…

She then complained about the fact that she was living in a « storage room », that she was the only one without her own bathroom and that it was unfair of us to have an empty bedroom in our house and not give it to her.

Me and my partner were very firm in our decision but my mom and aunt called and told me that it was a bit unfair of us to not offer proper accomodation for my cousin and that Luke could do without a room for a few months now that he has his flat for the school year.

I disagree, for me it’s more than a bedroom it’s what it represents. It’s his own place for him in our home and it’s something I want him to have for as long as possible.

I’ve been called selfish and that I was coddling him too much over this so I would like an outsider percesptive.

8one6
May 20, 2012

When in doubt, err on the side of Awesome!

Pomme de Terror posted:

AITA for refusing to give my son’s « free » room to my cousin who is living with us ?

If the rest of the family has an issue with the accommodations then they can house the cousin.

Hughlander
May 11, 2005

Cowslips Warren posted:


AITA for playing a harmless prank on my friend at her wedding?


Narration: anyone who claims to be the Funny One is not.

Jokester is the ex of the groom just in case you had any doubts as to the reason of the “prank”

SulfurMonoxideCute
Feb 9, 2008

I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

No such thing as too much coddling when it comes to someone struggling with repeated childhood traumas.

Foo Diddley
Oct 29, 2011

cat

quote:

Luke could do without a room for a few months now that he has his flat for the school year.

cousin can just as easily do without her own bathroom, for "a few months". how does the saying go, where you want your guest accomodations to be comfortable but not too comfortable? anyway it's good advice

oh jay
Oct 15, 2012

Doesn't naan usually come free with any entree? Am I spoiled? I don't understand.

reignonyourparade
Nov 15, 2012

oh jay posted:

Doesn't naan usually come free with any entree? Am I spoiled? I don't understand.

I have literally never had that be the case at any Indian restaurant I've been to

Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...



I've had free naan and I've had paid naan at the various places I've gone to over the years. In conclusion, Indian restaurants are a land of contrasts.

oh jay
Oct 15, 2012

reignonyourparade posted:

I have literally never had that be the case at any Indian restaurant I've been to

I just google mapped some of the places nearby and they come with the combos, which is of course what I'm going to order, because I'm not going to just slurp a tikka masala without any bread or rice.

Akratic Method
Mar 9, 2013

It's going to pay off eventually--I'm sure of it.

Any day now.

Foo Diddley posted:

AITA for (jokingly) telling my GF she should feel privileged to cook for me?

love a guy with a sense of humor

ha ha the joke is that I’m better than you

you know, just like generally. as a person

Doc Hawkins
Jun 15, 2010

Dashing? But I'm not even moving!


wheatpuppy posted:

"I was gonna tell her it was a joke. Not right away, and not when she started to panic, and not when she cried, and not when she started physically searching for him. But eventually I was gonna fess up. Maybe after they finished dragging the lake."

<my friend is crying hysterically>

"hey, i just wanted to lighten the mood!"

<her memories of this day are forever tainted, she will never trust me again>

"im the funny one in our friend group!"




actually ive come around, they're hilarious, where's their hbo special

Pope Corky the IX
Dec 18, 2006

What are you looking at?
Look, they said it was harmless right in the title, so I’m not sure what the big deal is.

Pirate Radar
Apr 18, 2008

You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!

Captain Hygiene posted:

AITA for not letting my GF eat the naan bread we ordered?

B-but she's not eating the food she paid for how I want to :qq:

So this one’s funny to me because the friend who’s siding with the OP has a distinctly different and arguably worse reason for it

quote:

My friends are split, one of them says I'm in the right and it's too much carbs for one meal for her to have bread and rice, but the other friend essentially also called me a greedy rear end in a top hat. Its been hours and she's ignoring me. AITA?

The OP’s main annoyance seems to be that she’s eating the naan the wrong way and not appreciating the food properly, or something similar, while the friend who’s on the OP’s side is policing how much she eats.

Cloacamazing!
Apr 18, 2018

Too cute to be evil

Captain Hygiene posted:

AITA for not letting my GF eat the naan bread we ordered?

YTA, Naan is delicious and I'd eat it to every meal if I could.

feedmegin
Jul 30, 2008

Captain Hygiene posted:

AITA for not letting my GF eat the naan bread we ordered?

B-but she's not eating the food she paid for how I want to :qq:

How poor are they or how much of a ripoff is the bread that you can't get two naans? It's the cheapest part of the meal!

Never seen it come with a meal here in the UK, mind you, but it's also going to cost you like a quarter of an entree max.

do it on my face
Feb 6, 2005
°

oh jay posted:

Doesn't naan usually come free with any entree? Am I spoiled? I don't understand.

Papadams, yes. Naan, never.

Evil Willow
Apr 26, 2007
Bored now...

Evil Willow posted:

AITA for wanting to keep an expensive birthday gift that makes my boyfriend uncomfortable?

edit posted:

For everyone asking about the book, it is a 1925 edition, well known to be fairly rare. The prices vary but it’s Google-able if you really want to know. There are a range of prices and it’s somewhere in the middle, I’m not going to say the exact amount.

For everyone asking why I’m not dating Logan or why I never did, I explained this in detail in several comments but this is the most comprehensive and reflective one I think

There was a YouTube segment of Olivia Coleman and Emilia Clarke having tea together. And Olivia said her “what’s your favourite item in your wardrobe” or something similar, and she said “a beautiful chanel cardigan that I really love but have never worn because it just doesn’t suit me”. And it just reminded me of that. It’s not that I don’t absolutely adore Logan, I do. I can unreservedly say he’s my favourite person in the whole world. But if you ask me why I’m not in relationship with him, I don’t have a concrete answer, because there’s nothing about him I don’t like, but it just never happened. And I think he would say the same thing. When I think of the way he was with his ex and the ones I’ve had, including Matt, I don’t see us being that way/those people for each other

Update!

quote:

So, I got some requests for an update, and I did say I’d try to post one so here it is, coming to you from a Mediterranean island that has been very unkind to my waistline.

I just want to first say a huge thank you for all the responses. Internet strangers get a bad wrap but I really appreciate all the advice.

So, first update, Matt and I broke up. He didn’t end up coming on my birthday trip but we were kind of talking on and off and he sent me a text that dropped the L bomb, and I didn’t respond in kind. That was the last straw for him. Now that I think about it, that was the next hurdle that was coming, this just brought it forward I guess. He’ll be picking his things up over the weekend. I would like us to stay friends, I still like him so so much, but I know that’s not really up to me now.

I told my mum about the break up, and she apologised for making me feel like I was in the wrong about keeping the book. She said she was just so used to seeing me treat men as disposable, and because I’d been with Matt so long she thought maybe he might not be and she got too caught up in that. I think hearing that I wasn’t even ready to say I love him was a shock to her, and she realised she’d been telling herself a story about him and me that wasn’t what was playing out.

Onto me and Logan. Obviously a whole wealth of opinions and advice was shared about our friendship and honestly going through the comments on the post was the first time I’d really ever thought that deeply about our relationship. It brought up a lot of memories and feelings, and I did end up talking to Logan about it and telling him about the original post. I ended up making a note of some of peoples’ questions and asking him. I really wish I could include all his answers here because I think his responses were pretty funny. That said, word limit, so I’ll keep the answers short.

• Logan did not buy the book as a way to express romantic interest and the plot was not relevant to his choice to purchase it

• Logan has never wanted to date me

• Feelings are complicated

Obviously there was more we talked about but I will just leave you with another metaphor, since the cardigan one was such a hit; sometimes a thin gold chain will sit in your jewellery box for a decade, and over the years it’ll tangle, and the knot will be so inextricable you can’t tell where the chain ends or begins. It would take a long time to pick that apart. Some people get out their magnifying glass and a good lamp and work until the chain is good as new, and some people might decide to just put it back in the box before they break it. We’re trying to be the first, but the second might end up being okay. We’ll see.

I think that’s everything.

Thank you to everyone who responded, I laughed, I cried, I had an existential crisis, it was wild ride.

keep punching joe
Jan 22, 2006

Die Satan!
Nan bread is about £2 max and it's huge. Never finish it.

The Alchemist
Dec 12, 2010

Cloacamazing! posted:

YTA, Naan is delicious and I'd eat it to every meal if I could.

Who is stopping you?

Sir Sidney Poitier
Aug 14, 2006

My favourite actor


The Alchemist posted:

Who is stopping you?

Probably the naanny state.

Pope Corky the IX
Dec 18, 2006

What are you looking at?

The Alchemist posted:

Who is stopping you?

Naan of your business.

nonathlon
Jul 9, 2004
And yet, somehow, now it's my fault ...

On one hand, how expensive can an old copy of The Great Gatsby be? It's never been an uncommon or unpopular book.

On the other hand, when someone describes their feelings or a situation as "complicated" that's usually code for "I don't want to say".

MajorBonnet
May 28, 2009

How did I get here?

nonathlon posted:

On one hand, how expensive can an old copy of The Great Gatsby be? It's never been an uncommon or unpopular book.

On the other hand, when someone describes their feelings or a situation as "complicated" that's usually code for "I don't want to say".

The search results are muddled by facsimile editions, but original 1925 first editions look to start around $2,000 in decent condition with no dust jacket and go up over $100,000.

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Cloacamazing!
Apr 18, 2018

Too cute to be evil

The Alchemist posted:

Who is stopping you?

Turns out it's kind of a bad fit with pancakes.

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