r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

Deified Data: Nov 3, 2015; Fun Shoe

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

Gradually discovering update by update that my flinty, hardened cool lone wolf OC ex-boyfriend is incredibly strong and brave and respected by everyone around him and has a powerful code of honor and two katanas

I was thinking reverse-perspective fanfic too, but the OP's transgression is left weirdly vague, she's not presented in nearly as unflattering a light as these types of stories never resist doing, and the whole thing has a sort of flaky, evasive style that reads as genuine to me. Also ex-bf does sound weird AF in this, which a sympathetic writer probably wouldn't have done. Reads to me like two awkward people with zero communication skills between them.

# ? Jan 5, 2024 18:06

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# ? May 14, 2024 06:48

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

Lt. Danger posted:

all posts are real posts. I would be very concerned if I was hallucinating imaginary posts

how do you know which posts are real

# ? Jan 5, 2024 18:07

Fork of Unknown Origins: Oct 21, 2005; Gotta Herd On?

Troublemaker posted:

From r/relationships, a bit of a weird one:

At face value, things don't look so good for OP. On the other hand, if he wasn't already suspicious that she had something else going on, then it seems like he was just "testing" her with flowers and showing up immediately afterward and waiting for her to say something. Not a good look, especially letting her sweat it for days without a simple, "Hey, did you get the flowers I sent? It says they were delivered Saturday." But her reaction was weird enough that maybe he was right to wait to see if she ever mentioned them.

I've also gotten mystery flowers from out of the blue, repeatedly, and it freaked me out because I wasn't dating anyone at the time and had no idea who was buying me bouquets of red roses. No card, no name or number left at the florist. Eventually a dude I had a class with confessed and it totally skeeved me out. I didn't know him at all, yet he'd found my address and bombarded me with gifts before even an introduction. Many redditors in the comments saying the same thing, that they've gotten repeated anonymous flowers from stalkers, and that florists won't do anonymous deliveries anymore for that reason. It can feel very threatening.

Ok but if I put my name on them and had them delivered to her in a class we had together that�s not weird right? �right?

Jesus I was a moron in high school.

# ? Jan 5, 2024 18:13

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

AITA for saying my brother-in-law should bring his own food to the party?

quote:

I like to cook. I can't say that I can cook any complicated dishes that require a lot of effort, but I love experimenting with ordinary foods. Besides, I really like to cook according to my great-grandmother's recipes. I was very close to her as a child, so the dishes I cook from her recipes remind me of her.

But every time I cook, if my bil is around, it becomes a torture. He criticizes and ridicules everything. I shouldn't stuff the meat with fruit because in his opinion, it overpowers the flavor of the meat. I shouldn't dress salads with mayonnaise because, in his opinion, it's a plebeian dressing. Onions ruin the flavor of fried potatoes. The cheese soup has "too much cheese." I can't make desserts at all because sugar is bad. He even managed to criticize my great-grandmother's favorite recipe. First you cook the rice, then you boil the eggs, peel them, chop them and fry them together with the rice in a pan. The recipe is simple, but the food turns out VERY tasty, it was my favorite food as a child, and I always asked my great-grandmother to make me "rice and eggs". My bil called it a culinary perversion.

But if you thought that was the cause of the conflict, read a little more. The problem is that he only criticizes food while it's cooking. After the dish he so berated is cooked, he EATS MORE THEN EVERYONE. It always drove me crazy. First he says the food I cook is too plain, too plebeian, too perverted, too much mayonnaise/cheese/sugar, that he won't eat it, that I might not even offer him a taste, and then he says, "All right, I'll have a bite" and eats three times as much as all the other people.

To make a long story short, it's my birthday soon, my anniversary. My friends and I decided to have a small party and agreed that we would each cook one dish. We created a group chat on watsapp where we discussed all the details of the party preparation. My bil was also in this group chat, although I immediately felt that it was a bad idea. I was right. When we started discussing what dishes we were going to cook, he again started criticizing every, literally every dish. He criticized not only my ideas, but everyone else's as well. I could see that my friends were uncomfortable, but they didn't want to confront him. Finally, my patience broke when my bil wrote that he would certainly not try anything from our dishes, but let us calculate the portions for him as well, "So be it."

Well, that was the last straw for me. I wrote directly into the group chat, "Dear bil, since you eat more than everyone else every time, the food you said you wouldn't try, please bring your own, NORMAL dishes and eat them at the party."

I guess by his subsequent silence, I had insulted him.

My wife, who of course has also been in this chat room, says her brother can be too rude, but I have also acted unwisely.

Ughhh...could you just stop with the perverted food already??

# ? Jan 5, 2024 18:27

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

AITA for picking my dog over my long term partner?

quote:

I have (F26) have been with my partner for just over 5 years,

Before we were together I went NC with my family (a whole other story) as part of this I had to leave my Dog behind, my parents claimed it was ther dog as they paid for him and the food etc and would not allow me to take it, this caused me massive separation anxiety that therapy has helped with, but I decided I would never have a pet again.

When me and my partner met we both agreed that we wanted to be child and pet free.

I have recently had a call from my family saying that my parents are unwell and aren't able to look after my dog, no other family will take him, so I obviously agreed to take him.

My partner is pissed, he hates dogs, I told him that I'm not giving up my fur baby and he either needs to accept him or move out.

He is now staying at a friend's and is refusing to pay his share of the rent.

I think this is justified, a couple of years ago he came home with a goldfish out of nowhere, it caused a big argument at the time but we got through it, I told him this is no different and he needs to accept it.

you had a goldfish! that's the same thing!!

# ? Jan 5, 2024 18:30

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

Captain Hygiene posted:

AITA for saying my brother-in-law should bring his own food to the party?

quote:

too plain, too plebeian, too perverted

need this on a t-shirt

# ? Jan 5, 2024 18:34

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

I need a new thread title, too.

# ? Jan 5, 2024 18:35

Tarezax: Sep 12, 2009; MORT cancels dance: interrupted by MORT

quote:

AITA for mocking my cousin bald patches in front off his new g.f and causing her to dump him?

I'm 17f. My parent's and I went to a dinner at my aunt house. I didn't want to go because my 35 year old cousin Jared likes to makes fun of my appearance. I'm tall and skinny. But dad convinced me to go. Jared was already at the dinner table and introducing his gf Melody to everyone. He surprisingly didn't make fun off me like he usually does when we first see each other. Now I was told by Jared sister, that Jared shaved all his hair off 2 years ago, because he was getting bald patches and was embarrassed about them.

So anyway during dinner, Jared finally turned his attention to me at the time everyone was quite and asked me loudly hey op do you think you will ever put on some weight, you're starting to look anorexic. I just snapped and said I don't know? Do you think you will ever grow hair where your bald patch spots are? He got angry and started cussing at me and I asked him if he had a spare brush for me, so I can brush my hair?! He was told to leave. So him and Melody left. Melody apparently broke up with him that night. Now I'm getting the blame. AITA?

Can't believe picking on your 17 year old cousin and getting mad when she claps back doesn't win you the ladies

# ? Jan 5, 2024 18:35

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

Deified Data posted:

I was thinking reverse-perspective fanfic too, but the OP's transgression is left weirdly vague, she's not presented in nearly as unflattering a light as these types of stories never resist doing, and the whole thing has a sort of flaky, evasive style that reads as genuine to me. Also ex-bf does sound weird AF in this, which a sympathetic writer probably wouldn't have done. Reads to me like two awkward people with zero communication skills between them.

Incels are really hosed up, of course, and it seems like a lot of them actually think "I saw my girlfriend talking to a man and I heard them laughing about something together" is enough to get random people onboard with hating her guts. And based on other posts I'm seeing in these subreddits, more and more young men with actual social lives and girlfriends actually believe this crazy poo poo, too.

# ? Jan 5, 2024 18:36

haveblue: Aug 15, 2005; Toilet Rascal

r/relationships: too plain, too plebeian, too perverted, too much mayonnaise

# ? Jan 5, 2024 18:36

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

Foo Diddley posted:

at one point AITA actually had a rule saying that you couldn't mention the single largest current event in the entire world, so some posters got in the habit of calling it the panda or the panini or whatever stupid bullshit

that's dumb as hell but I guess if I was overlord of the AITA cretins I'd probably be making them do stupid pet tricks to make their whiny little posts too

# ? Jan 5, 2024 18:37

BAGS FLY AT NOON: Apr 6, 2011; A Soft Nylon Bag

Tbf if you serve me a salad dressed in nothing but mayonnaise I�m probably gonna give it some sideeye

# ? Jan 5, 2024 18:37

Fork of Unknown Origins: Oct 21, 2005; Gotta Herd On?

Foo Diddley posted:

at one point AITA actually had a rule saying that you couldn't mention the single largest current event in the entire world, so some posters got in the habit of calling it the panda or the panini or whatever stupid bullshit

Unless I�m mixing it with something the rule was more like �you can�t post an AITA for asking if you should or shouldn�t be doing things (having parties, going for walks, etc) during the pandemic.�

Edit: also like every fake story in there needed a �of course this happened PRE PANDEMIC�

Fork of Unknown Origins fucked around with this message at 18:52 on Jan 5, 2024

# ? Jan 5, 2024 18:41

Larry Cum Free: Jun 3, 2022; move it or lose it dillweed

Captain Hygiene posted:

AITA for saying my brother-in-law should bring his own food to the party?

YTA for not challenging him to an Iron Chef style competition years ago.

# ? Jan 5, 2024 18:45

Flared Basic Bitch: Feb 22, 2005; Invading your personal space since 1968.

Captain Hygiene posted:

AITA for saying my brother-in-law should bring his own food to the party?

Ughhh...could you just stop with the perverted food already??

I always get an erection when I eat ambrosia! Don�t look at me! DON�T LOOK AT ME!

# ? Jan 5, 2024 18:51

Sagebrush: Feb 26, 2012

Foo Diddley posted:

AITA for picking my dog over my long term partner?

When me and my partner met we both agreed that we wanted to be child and pet free.

a couple of years ago he came home with a goldfish

my parents are unwell and aren't able to look after my dog, so I obviously agreed to take him

# ? Jan 5, 2024 18:52

Paper Tiger: Jun 17, 2007; 🖨️🐯torn apart by idle hands

haveblue posted:

r/relationships: too plain, too plebeian, too perverted, too much mayonnaise

I won't stand for my family's motto being attached to such a lowborn thread

# ? Jan 5, 2024 18:53

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

Fork of Unknown Origins posted:

Unless I’m mixing it with something the rule was more like “you can’t post an AITA for asking if you should or shouldn’t be doing things (having parties, going for walks, etc) during the pandemic.”

No, as far as I remember you couldn't even mention it for a while. You had people posting about being sick "with *something*", or posts about unrelated stories being locked because they tangentially mentioned that someone else had to quarantine.

# ? Jan 5, 2024 18:54

Farg: Nov 19, 2013

Shanghaied posted:

tbf, the friend's parents who were cops deserved all the abuse they could get.

woahhh

# ? Jan 5, 2024 18:55

The_Franz: Aug 8, 2003

Captain Hygiene posted:

AITA for saying my brother-in-law should bring his own food to the party?
�
I shouldn't dress salads with mayonnaise

Brother in-law sounds like an insufferable prick, but this clearly makes it an ESH situation.

# ? Jan 5, 2024 18:56

Big Bowie Bonanza: Dec 30, 2007; please tell me where i can date this cute boy

Mayo vinaigrette is good tho

# ? Jan 5, 2024 19:00

limp_cheese: Sep 10, 2007; Nothing to see here. Move along.

Foo Diddley posted:

AITA for picking my dog over my long term partner?

he either needs to accept him or move out.

He is now staying at a friend's and is refusing to pay his share of the rent.

loving lol.

# ? Jan 5, 2024 19:05

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

Yeah, I was assuming (hoping) OP was putting something mayonnaise-based on the salads rather than straight mayo. That seems like something you'd see in a 1960s Betty Crocker recipe or something, like plain lettuce leaves with mayonnaise for your salad.

# ? Jan 5, 2024 19:11

Inceltown: Aug 6, 2019

Captain Hygiene posted:

Yeah, I was assuming (hoping) OP was putting something mayonnaise-based on the salads rather than straight mayo. That seems like something you'd see in a 1960s Betty Crocker recipe or something, like plain lettuce leaves with mayonnaise for your salad.

White mans san choy bau

# ? Jan 5, 2024 19:14

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

limp_cheese posted:

loving lol.

"Accept the dog or move out"
*moves out*
*shocked Pikachu face*

# ? Jan 5, 2024 19:16

Desert Bus: May 9, 2004; Take 1 tablet by mouth daily.

Foo Diddley posted:

AITA for picking my dog over my long term partner?

you had a goldfish! that's the same thing!!

Goldfish live longer than dogs, are more difficult to keep alive than dogs, and this fucker brings one home and then gets mad about a dog coming into the house? :sever:

# ? Jan 5, 2024 19:32

limp_cheese: Sep 10, 2007; Nothing to see here. Move along.

CannonFodder posted:

"Accept the dog or move out"
*moves out*
*shocked Pikachu face*

But what about his share of the rent?!?!? I need his money so he can't leave! What a selfish rear end in a top hat!

# ? Jan 5, 2024 19:37

wheatpuppy: Apr 25, 2008; YOU HAVE MY POST!

Desert Bus posted:

Goldfish live longer than dogs,
are more difficult to keep alive than dogs,

Self-solving problem right there.

# ? Jan 5, 2024 19:38

The_Franz: Aug 8, 2003

Hughlander posted:

My wife (36F) wants to divorce me (35M) to marry her ex (40M)

Do you want to get trafficked?!?! Because that's how you get trafficked!

Jumping to the trafficked thing is extreme, but leaving your husband to move to a repressive country where women are basically property to become the second wife to a guy whose extremely conservative family is only ok with it now only because he already gave them two racially pure children is certainly a decision that will lead to a good outcome.

Either way, there is no salvaging the marriage after an announcement like that. OP should just cut her loose like she wants and move on.

# ? Jan 5, 2024 19:43

vonnegutt: Aug 7, 2006; Hobocamp.

Big Bowie Bonanza posted:

Mayo vinaigrette is good tho

has no one in this thread ever made ranch dressing? It's like half mayonnaise

# ? Jan 5, 2024 19:47

BOOTY-ADE: Aug 30, 2006; BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

trickybiscuits posted:

Ugh I'm flashing back again to the friend I justed posted about dumping a few months ago. They did that. Not like major stuff but like once I was driving the two of us to dinner and they had me stop so they could pick something up from a store and directed me to park under a sign that said "No Parking" (or maybe it was a fire hydrant) and kept telling me I didn't ned to pull up to the spot in front of the car in front of me. I should have driven away and left them. What a dick. (eta that my car registration was expired at the time and I was visibly worried)

drat, so close to understanding and yet so far, one might say lightyears away

The white whale in Star Citizen he'll never get...a Relation Ship

Captain Hygiene posted:

Yeah, I was assuming (hoping) OP was putting something mayonnaise-based on the salads rather than straight mayo. That seems like something you'd see in a 1960s Betty Crocker recipe or something, like plain lettuce leaves with mayonnaise for your salad.

Cobb salad suspended in aspic with a side of Miracle Whip

BOOTY-ADE fucked around with this message at 20:17 on Jan 5, 2024

# ? Jan 5, 2024 19:49

NyetscapeNavigator: Sep 22, 2003

SUPERMAN'S GAL PAL posted:

I�m sorry but what? How does a woman choosing to go back to an ex in another country cause someone to come to a trafficked conclusion?

Because she's going to be her ex's concubine, not wife.

# ? Jan 5, 2024 19:57

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

vonnegutt posted:

has no one in this thread ever made ranch dressing? It's like half mayonnaise

I have news for you w/r/t most of the thread's opinion of ranch dressing

# ? Jan 5, 2024 20:00

effervescible: Jun 29, 2012; i will eat your soul

Fork of Unknown Origins posted:

Unless I’m mixing it with something the rule was more like “you can’t post an AITA for asking if you should or shouldn’t be doing things (having parties, going for walks, etc) during the pandemic.”

Edit: also like every fake story in there needed a “of course this happened PRE PANDEMIC”

Pre-pandemic or it being okay for people to get together because "cases are low here" when cases were not low anywhere except maybe New Zealand.

# ? Jan 5, 2024 20:28

Pigsfeet on Rye: Oct 22, 2008; I'm meat on the hoof

Nice thread title

# ? Jan 5, 2024 20:34

Desert Bus: May 9, 2004; Take 1 tablet by mouth daily.

I use Ranch as lube. Putting it on a salad or a pizza or a beignet is insane.

# ? Jan 5, 2024 20:34

Virigoth: Apr 28, 2009; Corona rules everything around me
C.R.E.A.M. get the virus
In the ICU y'all......

BOOTY-ADE posted:

The white whale in Star Citizen he'll never get...a Relation Ship

Put this on a t-shirt and take it to the cons and make enemies. Hopefully this fella finds himself a nice AI girl to date.

# ? Jan 5, 2024 20:38

StrangersInTheNight: Dec 31, 2007; ABSOLUTE FUCKING GUDGEON

You could absolutely gently caress that guy up by simply asking if there's anything costs less that could bring him as much happiness without torpedoing his relationship.

So many people stop at 'it makes me happy' with the insinuation being that this is an acceptable defense because 'why would someone want me to stop doing what makes me happy'

But it's not that your partner wants to take away your joy, they just want you to find hobbies which aren't self-destructive. They aren't against fun, but they are against compulsive spending of their shared savings!

People want their partners to have hobbies, just not ones that destroy their household stability.

# ? Jan 5, 2024 21:05

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

StrangersInTheNight posted:

You could absolutely gently caress that guy up by simply asking if there's anything costs less that could bring him as much happiness without torpedoing his relationship.

So many people stop at 'it makes me happy' with the insinuation being that this is an acceptable defense because 'why would someone want me to stop doing what makes me happy'

But it's not that your partner wants to take away your joy, they just want you to find hobbies which aren't self-destructive. They aren't against fun, but they are against compulsive spending of their shared savings!

People want their partners to have hobbies, just not ones that destroy their household stability.

He was asked, he said that the only other thing that makes him happy is not being alone.

# ? Jan 5, 2024 21:12

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# ? May 14, 2024 06:48

StrangersInTheNight: Dec 31, 2007; ABSOLUTE FUCKING GUDGEON

Yeah I saw that, s'why I think you could gently caress him up that way. He just sees those as two opposing things

The ships make you happy, sure - but could you learn to like something that doesn't destroy your relationships? Have you even considered that possibility? You could...try to find another hobby you enjoy and keep your relationship. That's an option, rather than seeing it just as, it's hobby vs being alone.

StrangersInTheNight fucked around with this message at 21:22 on Jan 5, 2024

# ? Jan 5, 2024 21:19

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