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Benny the Snake posted:...well, there was a point where the drama between my parents escalated to the point that my mom got violent and started hitting my dad. I was only a kid so I got scared and called the cops. My mom was charged with a misdemenor and taken to prison for I'm guessing assault. Since then, she lost her really nice job teaching at a kindergarten right down the street and we lost government aid to pay for rent. I kinda hosed us over beause of that. No, your mom "kinda" hosed you over, because of that. Normal adults in a normal relationship don't physically abuse each other. Perhaps your mom should have thought about the consequences like a responsible parent. I seriously hope she's never brought that scenario back up and placed the blame on you. If she does, you need to make her aware that you weren't the one beating people.
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Jan 31, 2013 19:27
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What are you doing for your internship? What campaign/organization are you with? If you can't get into specifics, just list what skills are required to do what you do. How much money do you spend a month on weed and comics? waste of internet fucked around with this message at 19:51 on Jan 31, 2013 |
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Jan 31, 2013 19:46
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I wanna know what type of industry the OP is trying to get involved with, before we start singin the economy blues.
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Jan 31, 2013 19:55
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gigawhite posted:Seeing as he's said he's been applying everywhere and anywhere, even at minimum wage fast food jobs, it's fair. No it's not. Every useless person is applying for these types of jobs and there are a TON of useless people looking for work. Everyone can push the "chicken" button when a customer orders chicken nuggets. That means the deciding factor for applicants is, "Who is just useful enough to do the job, but too useless for anything better?" People with skills apply for jobs which tend to have less competition, based on the location and industry. Ruby developers certainly aren't feeling the effects of the harsh economy. Let's make sure the OP is cultivating marketable skills as opposed to knocking on doors, asking people who they plan on voting for in the upcoming gubernatorial election. waste of internet fucked around with this message at 20:12 on Jan 31, 2013 |
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Jan 31, 2013 20:08
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Darth123123 posted:He's working at a volunteer position that 80 year old retirees do. He's doing 'work' for a cause, not to further his earning. He has a eng lit degree. And blogs don't count when you don't make money. Nor does a book that. He's been writing since he was a freshman. And people wonder why I asked what his job/skills included, before we start singing the economy blues. People seriously get degrees in English Lit, go on to do "busy work" for a volunteer position, put in a half assed effort at finding a real job and then wonder why they don't get hired. So many E/N threads follow this pattern. They blame the economy and then we come to find that there are a million untapped resources that the OP hasn't even considered. gigawhite posted:It can take people months to find work, and it's frustrating how quick people are to blame the individual for being lazy. It's a terrible attitude to have towards the unemployed. Every time "unemployed" pops up, we dig maybe an inch deep to find that the OP isn't utilizing as much as a quarter of the resources that are available. "Post your resume in BFC" is baseline poo poo, yet no E/N OP has ever thought to do it. About 10 people parrot the phrase, "post your resume in BFC" yet the OP still doesn't do it. I don't even consider it laziness. I have no idea what the hell it is. It's more a lacking in common sense, than anything. Fact of the matter is, I'm yet to see someone come here complaining about unemployment, while able to provide us with a nice long list of steps they've taken to find a job. The exceptions being a hand-full of threads where the OP had a disability which prevented him/her from performing certain tasks. I'm not saying the OP isn't trying to find a job. It's just a scenario in which someone could ask the OP, "What are you doing in efforts to find a job?" with the answer being, "I've got some stuff going on. I'm doing volunteer work and applying all over the place." It's like the ordinary shlub approach. Just sorta show up at your internship and toss around a few applications when you have time. I'd be willing to bet the OP isn't exactly going nuts with the internship and/or knocking on his boss's office door every Friday to see if he/she has any leads available, or if they've heard of any openings. Ok, so let's give THIS OP a shot at the old jobs effort. Gnack posted:He's trying to find a paying job - what is so hard to understand about this that people keep ignoring it? OP, since Gnack says you're trying to find a job, let me ask, what are you doing in efforts to find a job? Don't reply with "I'm applying all over the place!" We need a real answer, if we're gonna help you. 1) Have you contacted an unemployment center, placement agency, your college's carer office? 2) Have you looked for any job fairs? 3) Have you had your resume checked over by a professional? 4) How many cover letters do you have? 5) How long do you wait before you follow up and press for an interview? Do you have a calendar set up saying what you applied for/when with reminders that alert you when to follow up? 6) What steps do you take to ensure that your resume winds up in the hands of an employee as opposed to a stack in the HR department? Let's say you submit a resume online or hell, even on location. What type of conversation do you have when you hand the resume over/hit the submit button? You sure as hell shouldn't be walking away, expecting a call back within the next week to two weeks! Any/all information about your process would help us help you. I know the economy sucks, but that's all the more reason to put on your war face and get competitive. How many years ago did people actually apply to jobs the way which was set fourth by the hiring company? Did people ever just take things for face value and trust that the application will be placed in the hands of a hiring manager and then carefully looked over? waste of internet fucked around with this message at 19:00 on Feb 1, 2013 |
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Feb 1, 2013 18:38
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Why does E/N always have the "over qualified" discussion. There's no such thing as "over qualified" there's only what you decide to disclose on your resume and in an interview. You don't have to tell them you're a college grad. You don't have to tell them you've been working in software development for the past 6 years. Just shut the gently caress up and act like an ignorant jerkoff who isn't going anywhere, any time soon. (But not too ignorant for hire) OP, do you have any sort of credit history? Goons, is it possible to take out a small loan, in order to re-locate and start working? Example: I'm completely broke, have no credit, live somewhere on the east coast and was just given an offer from a company out in Oregon. I need about 5000 some-odd dollars for first/last/security, food, transportation, clothing, furniture, etc. considering I won't be receiving a paycheck till a month after employment begins. While you might not wanna loan to someone with no credit history, I can provide proof of employment. Is this just a situation that requires a regular old loan? Would the only option be to rack up debt on a credit card with a sizable spending limit? What are some financial options for someone like the OP, who is attempting to potentially re-locate. waste of internet fucked around with this message at 15:37 on Mar 29, 2013 |
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Mar 29, 2013 15:29
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OP, has it ever even occurred to you that you should present yourself to the best of your ability, at all times? Even in this thread! Ok, sure, I'm a total hypocrite who gets probated for posting garbage on a fairly regular basis, but I'm also employed and could care less. My office is looking for an office bitch to answer the phones, organize CRM data, and basically do menial computer tasks. This isn't meant to discourage you or be like "Ha ha! I have a job! Let's see you jump for it!" *dangle dangle* The deal is, we need someone who can find things that need doing and do them. This is the case for so many companies. Nobody has the time, money or resources for someone who requires hand-holding. You've had your hand held through the entire thread. It hasn't even dawned on you to get in touch with alumni services. I know the whole "self starter" thing is an overused cliche, but it certainly holds true to an attractive candidate. You've proven here, that you're not a self-starter. If your posts were more organized and actually contained information about who you've contacted, when you've contacted them, what networking steps you've taken, etc. and didn't require poking and prodding from the E/N community, in order to get information, from you, I'd PM you the link in a heartbeat. You should be telling us what's going on. And not just through a lovely, once sentence post, like "DURR, today I did a thing! Feelin productive!" We shouldn't have to keep asking you if you've contacted your college career office, alumni outreach program, temp agencies, headhunters, etc. And then your response is a 1 liner with the bare minimum. That's loving bullshit, man, cut the poo poo. THINK and loving CARE! Don't just take everything for face value and return an auto-fire response. Jesus loving Christ, you're an English major who doesn't even right-click the red-underlined text! You couldn't even figure out why they wanted you to come into the warehouse, the other day! It didn't even dawn on you to ask! It's clear you're not a thinker, a do-er, or a helper. You'd be the employee who just hangs around, till the manager spits off orders, then go about them in the most half-rear end way possible. Stop being a goddamn, stupid, lovely robot and THINK! Think, you loving moron! "Is there any more information I might need?" "What more can I do?" "How can I increase my worth?" "What can I do to please those who could potentially influence my financial gains?" START HERE! IN THIS THREAD! "What more can I post that will give this thread more information, which could help me, in return." "How can I help them help me?" "Where's that sweet spot between giving people more than what they ask for and too much information?" Sir John Falstaff posted:The problem with not disclosing the college degree is it leaves a four-year blank spot in your resume. Having a massive black hole in your resume can be worse than being overqualified. Is this the OP's case? Is this even a frequent thing? Can people seriously go all 4 years in college without having a job, internship, volunteer situation, leadership experience, work-study etc? I've had 3 different jobs, throughout my college experience. The simple solution would be to not let this happen! I could see how that would happen with someone taking summer courses, but really, you've gotta be crazy to do "just school" and nothing else for all 4 years. So yea, OP has no prior experience, summer employment, etc, does he? Pretty sure I haven't seen any of that mentioned. The more I read E/N "help me get employed" threads, the more I start to doubt the economic hardships. Every drat time, it's like the stars have aligned to make the OP the most unemployable person in the United States. You seriously have to go above and beyond. It's like Economy Bingo and every E/N OP could fill in the entire board. The OP could just use his free chip for the "no internship" slot and shout out "BINGO!" -Don't bother with internships, volunteering or extra-curricular groups, activities or organizations. -Don't work during school vacation, including summer vacation. -No car, money, or independence. -Lives at home and is unable to re-locate. -No access to public transit. -Not near any metropolitan areas. -Useless degree -Hasn't exhausted every/all resources. -Doesn't treat job search like a full time job. You could seriously find a job with most of these things working against you. It takes a truly special E/N thread to bring out the fact that people exist who literally have all of these things working against them. waste of internet fucked around with this message at 17:22 on Mar 29, 2013 |
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Mar 29, 2013 16:35
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Sir John Falstaff posted:Even if he does, putting internships or work study on your resume makes it fairly clear you attended college. Having full-time employment only for three months during the summer does that too. This is the shittiest excuse I've seen, yet. LIE! Extend the dates a bit, gently caress around with roles, responsibilities, job requirements for past positions. Tailor it to the job your applying for. Stop handing in the same resume for everything. Nobody smart enough is gonna call your bluff. Even if they call you out on having been to college, big deal! What are the chances they'll write in red pen "Applicant attended and graduated college." What are the chances that both the person conducting the interview and the hiring manager will both scoff at the fancy-pants college grad, should that info somehow slip through the cracks? (Somehow in italics, because of the unlikelihood of it actually happening.) I refuse to believe that the shift leader at Mick-Ds is trained/smart enough, to determine who has and hasn't graduated college. waste of internet fucked around with this message at 17:15 on Mar 29, 2013 |
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Mar 29, 2013 17:11
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Sir John Falstaff posted:Ok, so your real recommendation is to submit a false resume. I suppose that's a possible solution. Not one I'd feel comfortable with, but whatever. Oh, come on! You know the OP hasn't been keeping a record of employment. People ballpark resume dates and embellish roles/responsibilities, all the time.
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Mar 29, 2013 17:25
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Sunshine89 posted:While I do think that some people are getting way too invested in this thread, Benny, step it up. Oh, sorry. I'll try to limit my investment to meet the OP's level of investment. Hey, OP. Did you work good, today? Feelin productive?
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Mar 29, 2013 18:50
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Benny the Snake posted:I was caught by surprise when I found out in January that the university graduated me automatically. Ordinarily I'd have to apply two quarters in advance. How did this happen? How did you get a surprise graduation? Seriously, I've never heard of anyone being so unaware of things that their own graduation is a surprise to them. Please tell me this is a data entry related error.
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Mar 29, 2013 22:48
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Benny the Snake posted:I didn't. I applied to the job that Devyl graciously offered me. But it was an auto magazine and question #1 from the editor was "Can you detail?" I said that I didn't know how to detail, so I was turned down You're completely useless. Just see a therapist and get on disability. I'm not even kidding, you know you're 100% unemployable when you can't even use Google. There are people out there who don't know how to detail but would sure as poo poo figure it out if a job was dependent on that knowledge. You're not one of them. I don't feel good about making GBS threads on you this hard, but I can foresee you creating massive issues for your co-workers. I feel strongly that they should be spared the agony. Edit: Seriously, learn to think better. waste of internet fucked around with this message at 21:23 on Apr 1, 2013 |
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Apr 1, 2013 21:16
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Jeffrey posted:To be fair I'd rather a candidate admit they don't know something than Google it during a phone interview. People can learn new things on a job. I've actually rejected a candidate after catching him reading to me off of Wikipedia. Ok, but this is different. Googling "car detailing" or "auto detailing" or "auto industry "detailing"" will spit back results which give you fast knowledge that it's the exact thing as cleaning/making it shiny. Sigma-X posted:To be fair, if he didn't know what detailing was and was asking that question in an interview, he doesn't have time to google it while talking to the person. We don't even know what type of interview it was, which is more of what I was scolding Benny for, in my last post. I'll admit, berating him for lack of Googling was fairly presumptuous of me. I figured it was a phone/instant message interview or something where he could sneakily do some fast research in a last ditch save effort. Really though, I don't think I've ever met anyone who doesn't know what "auto detailing" equates to. waste of internet fucked around with this message at 21:37 on Apr 1, 2013 |
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Apr 1, 2013 21:35
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kimbo305 posted:Can you post a quick summary every day of how many leads you've followed up on, their status, and how many new leads you've tried? He already is. 
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Apr 2, 2013 16:41
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OP, are you really taking this thread seriously? I mean, are you really trying to help us, help you? If this is your best effort, god help you. You've squandered away this resource. This thread/the Something Awful forums are no longer a resource, beyond moral support. I suppose you could drop another $10 to come up with a new username/new alias and do it right, but your "Benny the Snake" account is ultimately ruined as far as using the SA Forums as a job search tool is concerned. I'm not trying to go all "internet-street cred" on you, but just think about it for a second. The Business/Finance forum trades jobs/applications between goons, all the time. E/N has even helped other goons find jobs. You never know where you might find a job. Even on a non-credible comedy forum, there could be people who have postings up for grabs. So now, here you are looking for a job. Let's say someone out there has a position that any monkey could fill. Pays alright, menial tasks, etc. Why should they hire you over the thousands of "monkeys" looking for menial/entry-level work? Other goons are trying. They're posting in depth about their skills, experience, work history, application efforts, etc. Well written, spell checked and formatted. People are reading their posts, thinking "Man, that goon is really doing anything/everything they can to find a job! Even taking the time to fill out a detailed job search history report on a non-credible comedy forum! If they're willing to do all this for the dregs of the internet, I wonder how much they would be willing to do for a company that pays them. So then there's that and this \/ is you, Benny. kimbo305 posted:Can you post a quick summary every day of how many leads you've followed up on, their status, and how many new leads you've tried? Benny the Snake posted:Yesterday I made the rounds one more time around town and applied at several other places and followed up on a few other places. This is why I hate you and why you cannot obtain/do not deserve a job. Seriously, who the gently caress wants to work with this? Benny the Snake posted:The hiring manager at McDonald's still can't find my application so he took my name and number for an umpteenth time. Places that are hiring include a Christian bookstore and a Mexican grill that opened up last year. After applying to the grill, the manager talked to me and told me he'd get back to me at the end of the week. So I'm feeling better now. It's really only a matter of time until I find something Here's the rest of the post. The entire post boils your "fruitful day" down to... -Bothered McDonalds manager. -Applied for job at Mexican grill. That's two things! You did two things, which is apparently enough for your day to be considered "fruitful." waste of internet fucked around with this message at 15:47 on Apr 3, 2013 |
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Apr 3, 2013 15:15
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I'd say my company gets 8 hours of work from me, per day. It's certainly not consistent, but the averages pan out. Some days are busier than others and sometimes there's an influx of work one moment then completely dead, for the rest of the day. On Friday, I worked (actually worked) from 9:30am till 9:30pm. Today I've spent the first hour and a half, slacking off here.
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Apr 3, 2013 15:44
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Benny the Snake posted:What are your strengths/weaknesses?[/b] I'm just quoting this, because it's hilarious.
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Apr 3, 2013 20:25
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"Getting up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom."
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Apr 3, 2013 20:37
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I'm just hoping he goes out and rents a tux-jacket, to clash perfectly with the fedora.
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Apr 3, 2013 21:55
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OP, all jokes aside, do you have any facial hair? You don't have a pony tail or goony haircut, do you?
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Apr 3, 2013 22:01
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Relax and take notes, bitches... Question: "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?" Answer: "It depends on where I find myself, within the department. By then, I hope to have the skills necessary to take on more of a leadership role, in faith that the company continues to grow." Question: "What are your largest strengths/weaknesses." Answer: "Strength is being able to organize processes/task delegation/timeframe prior to starting projects. Weakness is having to ad hoc with little to no direction, organization or planning. If a project has gotten out of control, I find it easier to hault production, gather everyone up and come up with a solution to better organize/map out our objective." trollby posted:If you guys aren't going to let the suit thing drop: you are broke. Once you have escaped your immediate situation, if that ever happens, then you can do stuff like check your local thrift store now and then for a jacket that fits and isn't all hosed up and stupid looking. It might take a while. Yes, wear one of those goony brown-leather jackets to work. That'll impress all the greasers over in the sales department. Be sure to slick your hair back with Vaseline and don't forget the toothpick, ya mook. waste of internet fucked around with this message at 15:36 on Apr 4, 2013 |
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Apr 4, 2013 15:20
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/\ OP, focus on learning a few sales tactics. I doubt they give a poo poo about your fashion sense. I'm sure you'd get fired for telling a customer that a product looks bad on them. Every time I've ever had a sales associate assist me with a purchase, they've always just rolled along with whatever I said. Me: "This looks pretty good. I like the way it goes with blue jeans." Them: "Yea, looks good. That would go with any style of jeans, too, not just the blue jeans you have on." Me: "Nah, I don't like it. I don't have the body type to pull off a V-Neck." Them: "Yea, you're more of a broad shouldered guy. V-necks are for the more slender body type. come on over here and check out the crew necks we have on sale!" Me: "I dunno, I'm sorta on the fence about it." Them: "Lemme grab you some more stuff so you can try it on, with a different outfit." It certainly isn't The Devil Wears Prada where they're gonna tell you "fabulous, you look wonderful" vs "EEEWW! That outfit is utterly GHASTLY!" Benny the Snake posted:I actually asked an employee what's the Hollister look. For this season they're pushing blue. So I'm ironing a nice blue button-up. Now to practice my interviewing skills. This is the first proactive thing you've posted about. Keep doing stuff like this. Benny the Snake posted:The interview starts at four. There's a bookstore in that mall, so I'm going to brush up on fashion before the interview. GQ, Esquire, etc. I'll also hit up their sites before Tuesday. And yeah I'm out of my element, but I took a chance and figured that the worse they could say is that there weren't any positions open at all. I spoke to the manager and she told me there was, or at least I'm positive she said so. What's got me in a tizzy especially is how I was able to schedule my own interview. Either Hollister has a really high turnover rate or they're that successful. Or I'm just overthinking it. Right frame of mind here, but they'll probably want you more for folding, organizing and telling people that it looks great. Something tells me that the people working mall based, apparel chains aren't "fashion experts." They just sell sell sell, then tidy up the store. something clever posted:And........I am out. There is no way this is believable. Good job troll (or worse yet this is real). Oh come on! I'd pay good money to watch footage of a goon working in Hollister/Abercrombie. I hear that part of the training/customer approach style is acting like a douche from SoCal. You're supposed to be all "Sup brah?" when a dude walks in, or something. Maybe that's another store, I dunno, either way, I'm just picturing a neckbeard trying to act all "burnt out surfer," while scaring away all the high school girls. "Come over and see my comic book collection. He-he, this one time, my mom tried to take them away from me! And don't even get me started on my annoying brother, with whom I'm forced to co-exist with, under the same living establishment." PurePerfection posted:I actually wouldn't advise clothing from a competitor, especially since the branding is always really obvious in this segment. I've worked retail in the past, and managers can get pretty touchy about that stuff. If he doesn't have an outfit from Hollister, he should wear something in the same general style (a polo shirt, a pair of nice jeans that fit well), without any visible logos. OP, look this up! I think Aero/Abercrombie or some other lovely clothing stores fall under the same corporate umbrella. I know at least a few typical mall clothing stores are owned by the same company. I forget if Hollister is one of them. waste of internet fucked around with this message at 15:05 on Apr 5, 2013 |
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Apr 5, 2013 14:50
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PurePerfection posted:Wear clean/new sneakers, or those distressed leather(ish) man flip flops. You know, if you've got mandals lying around. You will someday, if you work at Hollister. Dangerous pool, my friend. We don't know what the OPs feet look like. Don't do this if you're pale as a ghost.
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Apr 5, 2013 15:48
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HappyAlpaca posted:Wear something easy to take off, every guy I know who has interviewed at Hollister here (UK) has had to take their shirt off at interview to check they meet the model looks requirements... OP, listen to this poster. You're gonna wanna pop that shirt off the first chance you get. Don't wait for some stupid "model look requirement" bullshit. Just pop that sucker off whenever you feel it would be appropriate. The sooner, the better. I'd be willing to bet your lack of callbacks stem from a lack of taking your shirt off during interviews. waste of internet fucked around with this message at 18:26 on Apr 5, 2013 |
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Apr 5, 2013 18:22
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Mix up some salt water and dunk a polo hat in it. Let it dry. Once it's dry, take a belt sander to the brim, to make it look old and tattered. Take the belt sander to a nice pair of dark-wash jeans. Holes are encouraged, however you don't wanna rip all the way through. You wanna leave some fringe fabric sorta holding the "holes" together. Sperrys now come pre-worn. Get those. You might need to deodorize them from the last person who may/may not have worn them. Go to Urban Outfitters and get some short-pants with a nautical object/animal pattern. Now for the shirt situation. White undershirt foundation, green polo shirt (level 1), white polo shirt (level 2) and pink polo shirt for the top layer. All collars popped. Pooka shell necklace. Throwback ray ban shades. Old rope for a belt. Don't forget LOTS of Axe deodorant. "Which way to galoona beach, bro?" HappyAlpaca posted:Additionally people are never hired to Hollister by applying, they get picked out of the customers. Wait, do they seriously approach customers and ask "Hey, do you wanna work here?" waste of internet fucked around with this message at 19:24 on Apr 5, 2013 |
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Apr 5, 2013 19:20
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I'm sure it'll be fine. Sounds like your hired.AcidRonin posted:Hey when they teach you the whole like, "carry a billion plates on one arm" trick, come back here and explain that wizardry to me. Arms out, palms up. You pinch plates 1 and 2 under your thumbs. Plates 3 and 4 go on your forearms. If you keep your elbows in, you can use your stomach to leverage the plates on your forearms. It's not as hard as they make it look. The weight the food adds actually gives you more leverage. If you have a nice, heavy plate of pasta, you can actually stick & move faster than you could if you had a little appetizer plate. The toughest is when you have to balance a tray of wine glasses.
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Apr 9, 2013 15:36
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