Crusader Kings II: I desperately want to be cucked by Satan

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Crusader Kings II: I desperately want to be cucked by Satan

Zoinker: Jan 18, 2009

Any tips regarding converting the heathens? I wanted to try spreading the Word of the Prophet to Scandinavia as the Abbasid Caliph, but all my Imans kept getting jailed. Then half the realm rebelled because Caliph Al Mu'tazz I is a terrible person.

# ¿ May 28, 2013 22:28

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# ¿ May 15, 2024 14:21

Zoinker: Jan 18, 2009

Coward posted:

I've seen it asked a couple of times in the thread, and I'm really keen for this as well.

Can someone confirm that you can play Aztecs with TOG? How does one go about it, and, if anyone's tried it, how does it compare to the rest of the TOG experience?

Yes you can, you just have to load from a save where they've already started the invasion since they obviously don't show up in any of the bookmarks.

# ¿ May 30, 2013 02:11

Zoinker: Jan 18, 2009

So apparently the new patch made an Abyssinian empire possible, but despite having all the de-jure territories and titles, I still don't get the option to create it. Is there something I'm missing?

# ¿ May 30, 2013 21:24

Zoinker: Jan 18, 2009

I'm playing as the Solomonids, so Ethiopian. I can't really imagine who else should form the Abyssinian empire.

Edit:

Walliard posted:

code:
allow = {
		culture_group = east_african
		has_landed_title=k_egypt
		has_landed_title=k_nubia
		has_landed_title=k_abyssinia
	}
Apparently you need Egypt in addition to the de jure land.

Ah, ok then.

So it's a race to catch up with the Musaids before they decide to catch me :getin:

Zoinker fucked around with this message at 21:33 on May 30, 2013

# ¿ May 30, 2013 21:30

Zoinker: Jan 18, 2009

How are the relations between the two of you? Had any major tensions/wars against the Norse empire?

Also, would you be willing/able to share the save?

# ¿ Sep 21, 2013 01:13

Zoinker: Jan 18, 2009

I'd love to give it a spin, particularly seeing Abyssinia still around down there. It'd be fun to see how long I'd last against an AI Rome.

# ¿ Sep 21, 2013 03:08

Zoinker: Jan 18, 2009

Man, the Bysantines may be easy-mode, but it sure as hell is fun playing as the Basileios!

I was well on my way with conquering all of Sicily, with only the county of Apulia left outside my realm. It belonged to the kingdom of Italy, which I had a truce with, so I was just waiting there patiently for him to finish his clusterfuck of a civil war so I could usurp the duchy. Suddenly I noticed the county changing color. Neat! It's independent. Of course I pounced right on it with my 2500 strong retinue.

To my surprise I noticed the county had somehow fallen into the hands of a blind woman. Soon enough, I managed to capture her husband, but apparently they had some problems with their marriage since she wasn't willing to ransom him back. Once the county was mine I decided it was my duty as their lord to help them patch things up, so I blinded him too, and now they have something in common :3:

# ¿ Sep 25, 2013 03:53

Zoinker: Jan 18, 2009

I'd imagine that even if they fail to actually conquer anything, the Aztecs would still show up to trade every once in a while?

# ¿ Oct 9, 2013 01:14

Zoinker: Jan 18, 2009

Am I mistaken, or is it impossible to convert to a liege's religion without prompting? I felt it would be amusing to immediately swear fealty to the Abbasids as Harald Fairhair and then carve out an Islamic scandinavia, but the intrigue menu only allows me to convert to my liege's culture, not religion, and I can't convert through a wive since no one wants to let me marry their muslim women by virtue of me being an infidel. I don't want to just wait for him to demand conversion, since I know from experience that he's just as likely to revoke my titles without a warning.

I suppose it would just be easier to get a muslim concubine through raids and convert through her (which has the advantage of me starting out independent), but I'm still kind of nonplussed over there not being a "convert to liege's religion" option anywhere, especially since there is a "convert to liege's culture" one. Am I missing something?

EDIT: So apparently, if you kidnap a pregnant woman and make her your concubine, her child will magically teleport to its native court immediately upon birth.

Zoinker fucked around with this message at 03:52 on Oct 12, 2013

# ¿ Oct 12, 2013 03:17

Zoinker: Jan 18, 2009

Le0 posted:

Any advice on how to do stuff or what to read?

There's a great CKII megathread going on in the Let's Play subforum. It has 5 different LP's running at the moment, each focused on a different type of rulers, with emphasis on explaining game-features for newbies. http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3559664

# ¿ Oct 14, 2013 09:41

Zoinker: Jan 18, 2009

So the Cathars can have female bishops, and heresies can supplant their parent religion, could this mean we might possibly get She-popes?

Also, I love the reworking of the holy orders, particularly one delicious potential gently caress You to the player. "Hey, buddy! You like God, right? How about doing us a solid and letting your son join us in the good fight? No, not the drunkard, the other one, y'know, the genius Grey Eminence you've been grooming as your heir for the last two decades."

# ¿ Oct 29, 2013 16:05

Zoinker: Jan 18, 2009

NihilVerumNisiMors posted:

Huh, Paradox really has an eye for details. Just found this guy:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gar%C3%B0ar_Svavarsson

Not really, considering Gar�ar was never a permanent settler (The wikilink even says so), only staying for a winter. The other Icelandic count, Ing�lfur, is the actual first permanent settler, though I find it kind of funny how Paradox decided to give him the Dynasty name Naddo�ur (Naddo�ur being the first (Norse) man to discover Iceland, and incidentally one of the first settlers of the Faroe islands. Him and Ing�lfur apparently have no other connection).

# ¿ Nov 8, 2013 18:23

Zoinker: Jan 18, 2009

Torrannor posted:

Your martial score now directly influences how many levies you can raise from your vassals? Great, now it will pay off to have a martial education if you want to go to war, instead of high diplomacy being the better war score.

From your Demesne, actually, which will probably make it a lot more important for smaller independent lords.

# ¿ Nov 12, 2013 18:04

Zoinker: Jan 18, 2009

I was shocked too, but then I recognized the map.

# ¿ Nov 17, 2013 05:54

Zoinker: Jan 18, 2009

Demiurge4 posted:

Yeah I was rather surprised Iceland was suddenly that big, it's also a kingdom now. A five province kingdom.

I'm tempted to park a relative there at some point just to pull in some dynasty prestige but it really is a poo poo area that's not even nearly worth the effort to get.

Well, historically Iceland had 4 provinces (or 'land-quadrants') so if anything I suppose it's a little more historically accurate, but a kingdom?

Then again, trying to accurately simulate how the Commonwealth of Iceland actually functioned up until its annexation by Norway in the 13th century would probably require a bit more effort for what at the time was essentially a federation of peasant lords on the rear end-end of nowhere.

Zoinker fucked around with this message at 12:15 on Nov 22, 2013

# ¿ Nov 22, 2013 12:13

Zoinker: Jan 18, 2009

When successfully convincing another duke to join your faction, is he supposed to join it immediately, or when you actually press your demands? Playing as Matilda of Tuscany, I managed to coerce one of the larger Italian dukes to join my independence faction, but he never did. He did however go forward with his own, ultimately unsuccessful bid for the Empire, which allowed me to successfully break off anyway (though I would have preferred if the both of us went independent, so I could annex him later).

# ¿ Nov 22, 2013 20:37

Zoinker: Jan 18, 2009

Holy crap! An unmarried lady that's both quick AND beutiful, as well as diligent with 19 stewardship an 15 diplomacy at the start of the game? Yes plea...

# ¿ Nov 30, 2013 01:27

Zoinker: Jan 18, 2009

Cease to Hope posted:

That's Waldrada of Lotharingia! Look at who her lover is. Lothar II's failed efforts to divorce his wife and marry Waldrada (and thus legitimize his three children by her) is a large part of why there is no longer a Lotharingia.

The emperor of Italy went to war with the pope in Rome in an effort to secure that divorce.

Does she always spawn with such ridiculous stats, though?

# ¿ Nov 30, 2013 04:25

Zoinker: Jan 18, 2009

Torrannor posted:

It is the same notification style as when the Golden Horde invades Europe, the Magyars cease to be nomads, or a crusade is being called for Jerusalem (while you sit there unconcerned as the West African king of Mali)?

Edit: And I think as the Holy Roman Emperor you get a different message.

Read his username, then read the message again.

# ¿ Dec 2, 2013 16:39

Zoinker: Jan 18, 2009

Caufman posted:

Ugh, that's possibly the most uncomfortable block of text I've ever read in a game. I have never been on the receiving end of a castration event.

My gonads are shrieking.

I have...

As a 9 year old Duke at the wrong end of a "Crown Law" rebellion :getin:

# ¿ Feb 1, 2014 02:54

Zoinker: Jan 18, 2009

Tuxedo Catfish posted:

Ultimogeniture is where it's at. The safety of primogeniture, nearly as much control as elective, near-guaranteed long reign bonuses, it's got it all.

Have fun doing gently caress-all half the time while your regent runs the realm into the ground.

Shimrra Jamaane posted:

Never create kingdom vassals. Problem solved!

This is the truth, and yet it's so tempting to only have to worry about pissant dukes in your primary title and have your kingdom level vassals handle the rest. Makes rounding up your vassal levies less of a pain too.

And now, in spite of all my stabbing, I have a megaking of England and Ireland on my hands, who somehow managed to steal the Dutchy of the Isles out from under me as well. Oh well, my Emperor's getting old so I guess it's time to go on a rep-destroying revoke bender before he croaks, again.

EDIT:
Can West Africans take concubines? If they can, that might explain something very curious that happened in the same game.

Zoinker fucked around with this message at 11:25 on Feb 6, 2014

# ¿ Feb 6, 2014 11:20

Zoinker: Jan 18, 2009

"Crusader Kings II: Kill yourself for optimal results"

# ¿ Feb 7, 2014 12:44

Zoinker: Jan 18, 2009

Hindus picking their a patron god seems like a neat idea, but I hope they also implement this for some of the existing polytheistic religions as well. If I remember my history correctly, many norse pagans tended to have a god they favoured above others.

# ¿ Feb 12, 2014 10:30

Zoinker: Jan 18, 2009

Is the Cardinal recruitment AI deliberately coded to screw you over? I've lost count how much money I've wasted on the campaign fund, only for my opponents to raise theirs a split-second before the next cardinal is selected! :argh:

Zoinker fucked around with this message at 19:29 on Feb 12, 2014

# ¿ Feb 12, 2014 18:44

Zoinker: Jan 18, 2009

A White Guy posted:

Catholic priests are rolling in the dough. If you ever look at the papacy late game (or one of the many, many,many holy orders mid-game) you'll notice that the pope is bathing in money, and so are the liege lords of the priets who pay the pope their taxes. Basically, my advice is to dump absurd amounts of money into the pool of your candidate.

OR, in a far more direct route, make an antipope and then put him in Rome. That will save you a ton of money.

Main Paineframe posted:

It's not the AI - IIRC, as part of the election process, the game gives a bonus of up to 500 gold to a random candidate before making the pick, so you have to outspend your opponents by a pretty good margin if you want to be absolutely positive that the Papacy will be yours.

It not so much my opponents having money that bugs me, but rather that they wait until immediately before the next cardinal is elected to spend it, making it impossible for me to re-raise my campaign fund in retaliation. Fortunately I had oodles of money from my previous revoke spree, so between my campaign expenses and rival cardinal stabbings I eventually got my guys into the papacy and all but one cardinal seat.

One question: Do you have to spend money on your cardinal to control him when he becomes Pope in order to get the free excommunications/claims/cash? The guy I got into the papacy is the only one who got there without my help, and as far as I could see he doesn't seem much more useful than a regular foreign pope.

# ¿ Feb 12, 2014 20:34

Zoinker: Jan 18, 2009

Node posted:

I've imperial reconquested a few kingdoms down to where their king only owns one county. One thing I find incredibly retarded is the Kingdom of Bavaria has its crown laws set to lowest, where you can't revoke titles. He is pissy he doesn't own all the duchies, so I'd revoke them, but I can't. The Bavarian Crown Laws don't allow revocation. I've played this game for a few hundred hours and this is the first time I've ran into that and I find that sorta retarded. You aren't a king, you own one county, and I'm your emperor, I'm destroying your loving title. But no, his laws won't let me because his own banana republic doesn't have the authority.

You don't necessarily have to revoke his missing De-jure titles to hand them back to him. If the current holders are your direct vassals and are of a lesser rank than your vassal king, you can simply transfer their vassalage back to him. That will usually make him happy.

On the other hand, if the De-Jure vassals he wants are under another vassal king, you'll have to retract them from that king first. This will make them your direct vassals, but will also piss of the king you retracted from and probably also cause a Tyranny malus and even a chance of revolt. And Of course, if that other king owns the titles directly you'll still have to revoke them.

# ¿ Feb 14, 2014 12:20

Zoinker: Jan 18, 2009

Node posted:

You either misread or I mistyped. The King of Bavaria was reconquested down to one county. He wants a bunch of his de jure duchies which are just under the empire's direct control. I could transfer vassalage to those duchies he wants, but it will make him too powerful. I just want to destroy his kingdom title so he stops bitching but since bavarian crown laws don't allow revocation, I can't.

You're basically a loving count, I should be able to curbstomp your title if you're that puny of a vassal.

Yeah, sorry, I misunderstood.

Is simply imprisoning and banishing him an option, or does minimum CA cockblock that as well?

# ¿ Feb 14, 2014 13:12

Zoinker: Jan 18, 2009

I had a funny thing happen to me yesterday while playing an Aztec world conquest game. I'd gone into the habit of inviting a bunch of holy men after conquering each kingdom for a fresh supply of content duke-material.

However, after conquering all the Aztec holy sites and reforming the faith, I did the same for England and suddenly found my court flooded with Aztec Catholics, who showed up in the character finder even when filtering exclusively for men of my own faith.

Wasn't much trouble really, since I could just make them reconvert giving them the duchies and everything in them, but I can't help but feel this might cause a problem down the line, especially since one of my holy sites ended under one of those Catholics, giving me a -5% to moral authority.

# ¿ Feb 18, 2014 17:03

Zoinker: Jan 18, 2009

Zhaan posted:

How did you get an Aztec ruler? The ruler designer?

I started as a bumfuck count in the HRE and just speed-5'd until the Aztecs showed up and won their first war. Then I saved and reloaded as the Aztec emperor.

I really wish there was an 'Aztec invasion' start date for people with Sunset Invasion. Currently there's no real way to Ironman as the Aztecs (other than the ruler designer, and even then you won't start with the event troops or have access to achievements)

# ¿ Feb 20, 2014 14:01

Zoinker: Jan 18, 2009

Jolan posted:

Also, my current ruler came to power 11 years ago, but the 'has reigned for 10 years'-condition when trying to change inheritance laws is still crossed out. Uuuuurgh.

Did your primary title change at any time during that period? Like did you form an Empire some year after that character came to power?

Empire laws are separate from any of those of its vassal kingdoms. For example your empire of Britannia could have absolute crown authority and Primogeniture succession while the kingdom of Aquitane could have low crown authority and gavelkind succession despite being a vassal of your empire or even under your direct control.

Unless I'm wrong, the same goes for ruling period. If your current character came to power 11 years ago with the Kingdom of Scotland as his primary title, then went on to form the Empire of Alba 5 years ago, he'll still have to wait 5 more years to change the succession law for the empire (though he'll still be able to change succession law for the Kingdom of Scotland, if the title still exists and he still controls it directly).

# ¿ Feb 21, 2014 15:53

Zoinker: Jan 18, 2009

Charlz Guybon posted:

I thought they were already folding in some East Africa updates into this DLC.

I wonder if W. Africa will get Jungle terrain as well.

And war elephants, or were they no longer a thing over there after Hannibal did his thing?

# ¿ Feb 25, 2014 21:16

Zoinker: Jan 18, 2009

How are you keeping them all at 100 opinion? Don't you get significant opinion penalties from high ranking burgher vassals if you're a feudal lord?

# ¿ Feb 27, 2014 21:30

Zoinker: Jan 18, 2009

Does giving land to holy orders make them any stronger? As in would hiring them give me more men than it would if they were landless?

# ¿ Mar 3, 2014 20:18

Zoinker: Jan 18, 2009

Can't help but notice Iceland looking kinda squished in the corner there.

# ¿ Mar 4, 2014 23:12

Zoinker: Jan 18, 2009

Disappointing egg posted:

I've just had to assassinate my son.

My long-lived Emperor of Russia just died, leaving everything to his son, who was in his 40s with only a daughter. I wanted a son; my wife was too old, but I took a few concubines from my prison. My wife died and I took a nice young replacement, which I thought would speed up the process. Then of course I fell in love with my wife and the sex was so good I died.

Playing as the daughter, the new Empress, I found that I had a normal marriage and a son outside my dynasty, which because everything was on primogeniture would lead to a game over if I died. So naturally I divorced my husband, married matrilinearly, and had my son murdered.

This is why you always marry your eldest daughter matrilineally, especially if you haven't got a son.

# ¿ Mar 11, 2014 14:16

Zoinker: Jan 18, 2009

New dev diary up!. Decadence revamp, diplomatic range and Steam integration.

# ¿ Mar 11, 2014 14:54

Zoinker: Jan 18, 2009

Patch notes are up!

Paradox posted:

- Children can no longer pick up the religion or culture of a guardian if the guardian does not share the religion or culture of his employer

I guess this is what ended up creating the Jewish kingdom of Mali in my Albion game. I had been wondering about that for a while now.

# ¿ Mar 18, 2014 16:42

Zoinker: Jan 18, 2009

fool_of_sound posted:

They supposed to be adding a 1/lifetime conversion decision.

For Indian characters only.

# ¿ Mar 18, 2014 16:55

Zoinker: Jan 18, 2009

WeaponGradeSadness posted:

I'm also really looking forward to this:

so the game will stop bugging me about cousins and siblings and "kinsmen" and other kids I don't give a poo poo about.

Counterpoint: Forgetting about educating your heir (because the game didn't notify you) until he comes of age as an arbitrary, celibate, content Detatched Priest.

# ¿ Mar 18, 2014 17:13

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# ¿ May 15, 2024 14:21

Zoinker: Jan 18, 2009

Torrannor posted:

Also, 4 provinces in Iceland? Really?

That's pretty accurate, since the Icelandic commonwealth was historically divided into farthings.
Those borders are pure bullshit, though. here is a more accurate one.

# ¿ Mar 21, 2014 21:51

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