Crusader Kings II: I desperately want to be cucked by Satan

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Crusader Kings II: I desperately want to be cucked by Satan

Yureina: Apr 28, 2013; Yeap. I found this out recently. Really turns me off the Palestinian cause to find out they basically consist entirely of raging racists.

Just grabbed some of the DLC's I didn't have yet since they are 75% off on Steam right now. Going to wait and see how Old Gods seems before I consider forking over my money. The idea of pillaging poo poo from the whole of Europe (or Westeros!) sounds incredibly enticing. They should have had that in the vanilla game.

Edit: Wait... according to the patch notes, pillaging is in the vanilla game now too. Kickass. It's time for me to burn poo poo!

Yureina fucked around with this message at 20:47 on May 28, 2013

# ¿ May 28, 2013 20:39

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# ¿ May 15, 2024 12:19

Yureina: Apr 28, 2013; Yeap. I found this out recently. Really turns me off the Palestinian cause to find out they basically consist entirely of raging racists.

Theswarms posted:

Wait, they pillaged Iran and Azerbaijan? Really? Where can I read more about that, because that is insane.

And that's part of the reason why Vikings are considered to be such badasses.

In CK2 the other day, I pulled a pretty neat stunt that I feel like bragging about in an internet post. I started a game as the Duke of York after William the Conqueror had taken over England. When William died, I got a war going with his heir and overthrew him with another guy who was matrilineally married to my character's daughter. I waited about 15 years for their daughter, the heir to the English throne, to grow up before I opted to pick a fight with the King that I had installed. I ended up capturing him in battle and chopped his head off, which didn't bother anybody since he was excommunicated by somebody other than me who didn't like him. Now my granddaughter is Queen of England and I have taken direct control of about half of the country, making it very unlikely that any revolt will topple my dynasty's rule.

And it's stuff like that which keeps me playing this game.

# ¿ Jun 3, 2013 00:25

Yureina: Apr 28, 2013; Yeap. I found this out recently. Really turns me off the Palestinian cause to find out they basically consist entirely of raging racists.

Evil Sagan posted:

My assassination attempts always come with insanely low success rates. I'm assuming that's a factor of my Intrigue score.

But I'm glad to hear I won't be facing the whole of the Catholic Church. I'll just hold my cash and be ready for a host to appear.

Are you using a plot or the default assassination? Plots tend to be much more effective, even if they also take much longer to actually happen and always carry the risk of getting yourself thrown in jail if you are a vassal/not independent.

# ¿ Jul 26, 2013 13:39

Yureina: Apr 28, 2013; Yeap. I found this out recently. Really turns me off the Palestinian cause to find out they basically consist entirely of raging racists.

Lord Cyrahzax posted:

A disinherit option would really help this game, but it would need some big penalties.

Agreed. Some of the eldest sons i've had... urgh. More than a few times I've had a dummy eldest but a badass second/third/etc son who I had to appease the hell out of once the eldest became king in order to make sure he didn't rebel.

# ¿ Jul 28, 2013 01:17

Yureina: Apr 28, 2013; Yeap. I found this out recently. Really turns me off the Palestinian cause to find out they basically consist entirely of raging racists.

Dan Didio posted:

The Crusader Kings 2 Collection on Steam and The Old Gods is everything of substance, right? Everything else is just cosmetic? And I should disable Sunset Invasion before playing because Aztecs or what have you are dicks?

Seems about right, though that collection pack does have alot of cosmetic stuff in it too. It has all of the content DLC except for The Old Gods.

# ¿ Jul 28, 2013 06:56

Yureina: Apr 28, 2013; Yeap. I found this out recently. Really turns me off the Palestinian cause to find out they basically consist entirely of raging racists.

Not sure if I should grab The Old Gods since I pretty much only play the Game of Thrones mod for CK2.

KittyEmpress posted:

It's kind of annoying too, because you get peace treaties with them when you win the war. Which is why you should always declare war on everyone first.

It is especially annoying when I am trying to make the most of a great character and want to wage bloody wars of conquest.

# ¿ Jul 29, 2013 01:38

Yureina: Apr 28, 2013; Yeap. I found this out recently. Really turns me off the Palestinian cause to find out they basically consist entirely of raging racists.

CapnAndy posted:

You can disable Sunset Invasion on a saved game where SI was previously enabled with no ill effects so long as the Amazons haven't actually invaded yet. I did that myself after I got my first taste.

Fuckers cheat.

I've actually yet to get a game up to the Aztec invasion since I bought that DLC. Are they really that bad?

# ¿ Aug 1, 2013 04:47

Yureina: Apr 28, 2013; Yeap. I found this out recently. Really turns me off the Palestinian cause to find out they basically consist entirely of raging racists.

kingturnip posted:

How do you deal with a problem like Skotland?

Typical that the first Queen was 'Attractive', with a Diplomacy score over 20.
By that point, there really weren't many people I could invite to the plot.

That looks like the title history of any title of significance when I play the Game of Thrones mod.

# ¿ Aug 2, 2013 19:06

Yureina: Apr 28, 2013; Yeap. I found this out recently. Really turns me off the Palestinian cause to find out they basically consist entirely of raging racists.

Asmodai_00 posted:

Well that didn't take long:

Got yourself a lucky war-winning capture did you? It's kinda nice when that happens and shortens a war by years of endless sieges and field battles when you just one one county or for rebels to go home or something.

# ¿ Aug 3, 2013 20:40

Yureina: Apr 28, 2013; Yeap. I found this out recently. Really turns me off the Palestinian cause to find out they basically consist entirely of raging racists.

DrSunshine posted:

And, if all my plotting fails and I do get dragged into a succession crisis, there's nothing I love more than simply assassinating the claimant in the middle of the war.

v- -v

I've assassinated the claimant in a succession war I was badly losing. The resulting peace gave me time to build up so that the next revolt was easily beaten. Just goes to show... murder is always the best solution.

# ¿ Aug 4, 2013 09:10

Yureina: Apr 28, 2013; Yeap. I found this out recently. Really turns me off the Palestinian cause to find out they basically consist entirely of raging racists.

Leb posted:

King vassals are definitely fun if you're looking for a challenge that an empire full of archbishops can't provide. And it does definitely cut down on the micromanagement and makes successions exciting.

Heh, you mean like in the Game of Thrones mod? Them civil wars can be quite fun since it's 7 kingdoms and the riverlands who are picking sides, with each having at a bare minimum of ~20,000 men. That makes for some pretty violent, and awesome, civil wars.

# ¿ Aug 5, 2013 00:36

Yureina: Apr 28, 2013; Yeap. I found this out recently. Really turns me off the Palestinian cause to find out they basically consist entirely of raging racists.

Flesnolk posted:

How likely are leaders even to get killed or hurt or captured in war? It almost never seems to happen for me, on either side of the fighting.

I'd say it's uncommon, but it does happen. Not quite as often as i'd like though, but that's just because i'm a crazy person who likes making heads roll. After all, I usually am going to war not against foreign enemies, but against some rebel scum who I intend to put to the sword anyway at the end of the war. Alas, tyranny hits really suck.

# ¿ Aug 5, 2013 19:59

Yureina: Apr 28, 2013; Yeap. I found this out recently. Really turns me off the Palestinian cause to find out they basically consist entirely of raging racists.

Overwined posted:

That's nothing. I had a successful ruler who finally had a son at the ripe old age of 61. The kid looked alright, he had the "Quick" trait and I was pretty happy with the heir. Well the old man popped off and I ran the kingdom as a kid and it was okay for awhile. That is until my guardian thought I was too slovenly and forced me to, and I'm not kidding here, climb up on the keep roof to clean the birdshit off. Of course I fell off and died. Now luckily my (much) older sister was matrilineally married and had a son of her own at this point, so succession fell to him (pun intended).

Of course, he's not "Quick". In fact, he's an imbecile. He dies of some disease pretty young, too and succession goes on to his mother, the first kid's older sister.

So I think, loving great, the vassals are going to tear me a new one. An unmarried (her husband had died in battle) ruler with no male heir. It turned out alright, though. She ruled for over 35 years and earned more points than any of my other rulers. I remarried her and she had a son to pass her titles on to and while he had stats that were all below 10, his diplomacy was 20, so at least people didn't want to murder him all day every day.

Did you murder that guardian who killed your good heir, at least?

# ¿ Aug 5, 2013 23:15

Yureina: Apr 28, 2013; Yeap. I found this out recently. Really turns me off the Palestinian cause to find out they basically consist entirely of raging racists.

Overwined posted:

I did! I forgot to mention that as soon as the first kid died, I got the popup and it was that same dude saying "Hello, I am your Reagent. Nothing bad will happen to you. I promise!"

Good good. It might seem vindictive, but I do have a tendency to kill people who do bad things to my characters. Sometimes their entire families as well, depending on the circumstances.

On another note, I started my first game today as a Viking lord with The Old Gods enabled. Wow did I have some surprise fun with that thus far! I'm obviously a warmongering psychopath, but what surprised me was that special "once every 9 years event" I was able to host. My jail was filled with rebel leaders who had tried to usurp my crown, but I couldn't execute them unless I wanted a tyranny bonus. Then boom! Human sacrifice! Not only no tyranny, but I even got rewarded for it! I only left one of the rebels alive because he was my brother, and the kinslayer trait is not a good thing to have.

Needless to say, my events to come will have many... offerings. :smug:

# ¿ Aug 6, 2013 06:10

Yureina: Apr 28, 2013; Yeap. I found this out recently. Really turns me off the Palestinian cause to find out they basically consist entirely of raging racists.

Alkanos posted:

I love the Great Blot. Gives me something to do with those random prisoners that don't get a ransom!

Unransomable prisoners, traitors, pretenders or deposed rulers, and plotters who really should have known better. They shall serve a better purpose as offerings to Odin, Thor, Freya, and all of their friends.

# ¿ Aug 6, 2013 10:34

Yureina: Apr 28, 2013; Yeap. I found this out recently. Really turns me off the Palestinian cause to find out they basically consist entirely of raging racists.

Rurik posted:

The one thing I'd like to have is the battles being more unpredictable. An army should be able to beat a force three times its size very rarely, but right now it's practically impossible.

Agreed. At the moment it's pretty much whoever has the most numbers wins, give or take some terrain advantages that only make a slight difference.

# ¿ Aug 7, 2013 11:49

Yureina: Apr 28, 2013; Yeap. I found this out recently. Really turns me off the Palestinian cause to find out they basically consist entirely of raging racists.

canepazzo posted:

http://forum.paradoxplaza.com/forum/showthread.php?706296-Crusader-Kings-II-Patch-1.11-and-Customizer-Dev-Diary

gently caress. I guess that means my precious Game of Thrones mod is gonna get broken again.

# ¿ Aug 8, 2013 00:19

Yureina: Apr 28, 2013; Yeap. I found this out recently. Really turns me off the Palestinian cause to find out they basically consist entirely of raging racists.

Been playing the AGOT mod today as the Targaryens sitting on the Iron Throne. I'm having a rather ridiculous game when it comes to loyalty. My Kingsguard has joined in on almost every single revolt against the crown I've had, which means that the vast majority of my Lord Commanders have ended their careers on the chopping block or the wall. I forgot how much of a pain it can be to try to hold all the kingdoms together, especially when you have family members with dragons who want your throne.

I really need to get a psycho on the throne so I can go on a rampage.

# ¿ Aug 8, 2013 10:01

Yureina: Apr 28, 2013; Yeap. I found this out recently. Really turns me off the Palestinian cause to find out they basically consist entirely of raging racists.

BI NOW GAY LATER posted:

Ah, the Varys strategy...

It may be the strategy of a sneaky eunuch, but it certainly works well. Assassinating popular rulers so that their weaker heirs take over is a great way to provoke a collapse of a kingdom.

# ¿ Aug 9, 2013 09:03

Yureina: Apr 28, 2013; Yeap. I found this out recently. Really turns me off the Palestinian cause to find out they basically consist entirely of raging racists.

The Mattybee posted:

So is it generally more effective to go with having king vassals, or tons of dukes/archbishops?

Having played the GOT mod a ton as the Targaryens on the Iron Throne with 8 king/lord paramount vassals, i'd go with that. Sure when revolts roll around you get some pretty huge wars, but fewer vassals means you can focus your diplomatic efforts on 2-3 key vassals so that when the inevitable civil war does come, they could end up winning the war for you.

# ¿ Aug 10, 2013 01:44

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# ¿ May 15, 2024 12:19

Yureina: Apr 28, 2013; Yeap. I found this out recently. Really turns me off the Palestinian cause to find out they basically consist entirely of raging racists.

Pyromancer posted:

Use coastal conquest for county next to it, then regular conquest on it. Unfortunately that means you fight Germany/entire Karling blob twice

Not if you can help that Karling blob along into imploding itself for a time into a few messy succession wars. Been playing a Byzantine game as of late and I managed to eat a nice chunk of Italy thanks to infighting among the various Karling kingdoms.

# ¿ Aug 11, 2013 09:22

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