|
Wife, to 4-yo daughter: "Remember, if you don't cooperate you won't get a cookie." Daughter pauses briefly. "Oh, OK. I will stop wanting one then."
|
#
¿
Mar 5, 2014 18:10
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ May 8, 2024 00:20 |
|
|
My daughter at 3, greeting a very pregnant friend: "The baby is going to come out of your girl parts, and it's going to HURT, HURT, HURT."
|
|
#
¿
Mar 27, 2014 02:08
|
|
|
We flew home today with our 6-year-old. After walking through the metal detector, she asked what it was for. The agent replied that it was to check for metal because it could be dangerous on the plane. "Oh. Why just metal, what about bombs and matches?"
|
|
#
¿
Apr 21, 2014 04:55
|
|
|
My daughter at 5, arguing that she should have some cake instead of more of her dinner: "Maybe my sugar pressure is all the way down! My tummy is saying, 'No more real food, we need some candy to get the sugar pressure up!' "
|
|
#
¿
May 7, 2014 20:03
|
|
|
AlistairCookie posted:Three year old is in the other room right now, by himself, singing a song: Settle down, Beavis. Today my kid explained potential energy to me while we biked up a hill, which was super cool. Right up until she said it was like when she wants to play games with me and it built up all this potential fun until we got to finally play because I wasn't too tired (I've been sick for a while). Like going up a bunch of big hills and then down a small one. 
|
|
#
¿
Aug 3, 2014 06:11
|
|
|
My sister got married, and my 6-yo made a little card for her. Edited for spelling, it read: "You are the bride He is the groom You're a great couple I assume"
|
|
#
¿
Oct 5, 2014 20:47
|
|
|
TKIY posted:"Daddy, I want you to blow me!" Excellent.  The neighbour kid came over the other day while my daughter was in the middle of some elaborate fort-and-drawing exercise. To catch her friend up, my kid explained who all the stuffed animals and figurines were. "...and he is my boyfriend and sometimes nemesis." I was nervous before, but at 7 it sounds like she has dating pretty much figured out.
|
|
#
¿
Nov 21, 2014 20:11
|
|
|
detectivemonkey posted:It happens to professionals, too. Job status: rejected and destroyed.
|
|
#
¿
Dec 17, 2014 07:01
|
|
|
My 7yo daughter and I discovered Lip Sync Battles the other day, and we were working our way through a playlist of them on YouTube. Halfway through an episode someone does "I Just Had Sex", and by the time I realized what was going on we were already a verse into the song so I figured I'd let it ride. After it was over, she asked me "what does "just had sex" mean?", and I started to explain that it was something that adults did together because they loved each other, and... "Oh!" *makes the universal hand gesture for intercourse* I thought that had settled it, but I got a text from her mom today that she won't shut up about it, so I guess I have some "that's not a polite thing to talk about" conversation in my future. (I assume she learned it on the street like everyone else.)
|
|
#
¿
May 21, 2015 02:13
|
|
|
Echeveria posted:....there's a .... a no weapons sign? Oh, honey. 
|
|
#
¿
May 21, 2015 03:00
|
|
|
My daughter, cheerfully to a family friend: "my daddy once called my mommy a wimp. now they're divorced!"
|
|
#
¿
May 22, 2015 06:34
|
|
|
"I paused the show right before they said the answer. I hung myself on a cliff!"
|
|
#
¿
Sep 23, 2015 03:32
|
|
|
Watching Planet Earth with my daughter, there's a part about birds of paradise and their mating displays. After a while she turns to me and asks, mildly concerned, "you don't dance! how will you attract a mate?"
|
|
#
¿
Dec 10, 2015 22:46
|
|
|
Always had a clementine orange, a pencil or pen, and Chapstick.
|
|
#
¿
Dec 27, 2015 05:27
|
|
|
sweeperbravo posted:Is there a PYF poo poo your parents say thread? When my sister was about to turn 18, my mom pleasantly suggested "Now we can take her out for a drink!" Isn't it ok if you're drinking with a parent?
|
|
#
¿
Apr 5, 2016 23:24
|
|
|
Aphrodite posted:Probably, but even when it is it's supposed to be at home. Bars, restaurants etc. still can't serve minors. In 11 states they can with parental presence and consent, per this page. Only in 4 states can minors drink as part of an undercover police assignment, though.
|
|
#
¿
Apr 5, 2016 23:51
|
|
|
Astrofig posted:Four year old at work today, twirling around and watching her little brother copy her: When my daughter went to visit her mother's family a while back, she was warned that her younger cousin would probably copy her, so she should be patient with him. "That means I can control him!"
|
|
#
¿
Apr 26, 2016 04:48
|
|
|
C is my 8-year-old, T is her mom. They are watching Life of Brian. *C laughing at movie joke* T: "Do you even know what a eunuch is?" C: "No, what?" T: "Ok, you know how boys have penises?" C: "NEVER MIND."
|
|
#
¿
Jun 16, 2016 15:32
|
|
|
Tea Bone posted:At dinner a couple of weeks ago my Sister In law complimenting my step-mothers roast vegtables: Did they find the body?
|
|
#
¿
Aug 26, 2016 00:49
|
|
|
genetic_knockout posted:His mom is laughing too hard to effectively get him to stop Thank heavens!
|
|
#
¿
Sep 2, 2016 22:02
|
|
|
Ad: "Do you have trouble falling asleep?" Kid: "Yup." Ad: "Are you tired and grouchy in the morning?" Kid: "YES." Ad: "Studies show that using a computer or watching TV two to three hours before bedtime inhibits the production of melatonin." Kid: *shrugs* "Meh."
|
|
#
¿
Dec 15, 2016 04:14
|
|
|
Axiem posted:(we have a recipe for single-serving pies, and they are fantastic) Keep talking.
|
|
#
¿
Dec 27, 2016 18:24
|
|
|
Fleta Mcgurn posted:Should I post the story of what happened adjacent to and after their protest on Wednesday? It doesn't really fit in the thread, but it's a stunning tale of mismanagement, misogyny, and stealing chairs. This is basically the Rhianna Appreciation Station, so I say go for it.
|
|
#
¿
Mar 31, 2017 03:16
|
|
|
Fleta, you sound like a real good teacher doing a real good job. I credit your Toronto upbringing.
|
|
#
¿
Apr 12, 2017 12:00
|
|
|
OH at the science centre: "when I get a good idea, my vagina tingles". I'm guessing she was 8-10.
|
|
#
¿
Apr 30, 2017 16:40
|
|
|
Tiny Brontosaurus posted:One time I went to hockey but the ice was wood and the puck was bouncing all over the place, please advise Sounds like lacrosse.
|
|
#
¿
Jun 30, 2017 01:18
|
|
|
You had really good handwriting for 6 years old!
|
|
#
¿
Jul 26, 2017 14:51
|
|
|
MisterBibs posted:They've spent more time getting Kid Angry or Kid Upset over what clothes the previous kid put Mario in than the game. This is the correct way to play SMO in turns.
|
|
#
¿
Nov 21, 2017 22:38
|
|
|
The witness is directed to answer the question.
|
|
#
¿
Feb 8, 2018 07:51
|
|
|
I’m guessing Dinosaur Train.
|
|
#
¿
Feb 26, 2018 13:16
|
|
|
BattyKiara posted:(Sorry, buddy, I'm not getting you a Switch for Christmas. But I get the message, no socks) Nintendo socks IMO.
|
|
#
¿
Dec 1, 2018 15:51
|
|
|
Ramaroot posted:I visited my 2 yo. niece yesterday and when I was leaving she put on a sad face and said, "I'm gonna miss you." This is praxis.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 14, 2019 02:46
|
|
|
BigBallChunkyTime posted:This from my 4-year-old daughter: Strong message discipline.
|
|
#
¿
Nov 27, 2019 06:00
|
|
|
That kid is going to punch some other kid because they’re gay, and only the people reading this thread will know how it came to pass.
|
|
#
¿
Apr 19, 2020 00:43
|
|
|
Mermen have very early beard onset. The one in that picture is probably 17.
|
|
#
¿
Apr 19, 2020 16:26
|
|
|
Hopes Fall posted:'Can we go on the playground ?' Congratulations on your buddy’s cabinet position!
|
|
#
¿
Jun 19, 2020 15:51
|
|
|
PizzaProwler posted:
Me either, friend.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 15, 2020 18:38
|
|
Oh, that makes sense. Don't know why that one didn't click for me.
|
sweeperbravo posted:I think Carthag Tuek was picturing a wall-mount sized whiteboard, like an instructor would use. Whitekeeping? Boardgating? Whatever it is I won’t stand for it, or sit with it on my lap.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 18, 2020 16:19
|
|
|
Beachcomber posted:Please tell me those are fake names. Don’t be a jerk here, please.
|
|
#
¿
Mar 10, 2021 04:35
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ May 8, 2024 00:20 |
|
|
Friend’s 6-year-old is getting into the car with his brother for a week with the grandparents: 🧒🏼: Mom? 👩🏼🦰: Yes? 🧒🏼: When I’m gone this week please don’t move my special toys. 👩🏼🦰: OK kiddo 🧒🏼: And have all the sex you want!
|
|
#
¿
Jul 23, 2021 22:28
|
|