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I teach English in a Korea elementary school. I do an American culture class with my 5th grade students every Monday. This week's topic was Korean things that are popular in America, so I opened the class by asking them to name some American things that were popular in Korea. Most of them involved food, Justin Bieber (not American," and "English" (arguably...kind of correct?) One kid busted out with, "1945, America bomb Japan. Very popular Korea!" 
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Oct 9, 2013 08:50
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| # ¿ Apr 30, 2024 04:38 |
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More anti-Japanese sentiment from tiny Koreans: We were playing charades in my 3rd grade class and one boy's actions were mystifying us all. He stood up, squatted, and yelled at the top of his lungs. The kids were just as confused as I was, so after his turn finished, I asked him what he was doing. "Teacher, I ddong [poop] Japan!" Yes, he's nine and he mimed making GBS threads on the nation of Japan. The other kids thought this was dumb. I tried really hard not to laugh until I pretended to fix my shoe underneath the desk, where I wept silent tears of laughter.
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Oct 10, 2013 02:00
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Suzuki Method posted:I have a question, I know there's a lot of anti-Japanese sentiment in Korea but is there much NK hate among schoolchildren too? Not as much, at least not that I've heard thus far. I did have a kid in writing practice ("I like xxxx" and "I don't like xxxx") write "I don't like Kim Jong Un," but he also wrote "I don't like DIE" and he spelled "don't" wrong.
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Oct 10, 2013 02:49
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I showed my third graders a video the other day, a weather report with puppets. At the end, the anchorpuppet asks the weatherpuppet "How's the weather on Mars?" which the second puppet responds to by quitting his job. I can't believe I just summarized that. And invented "anchorpuppet." Anyways, I was asking them how the weather was in various locations from the video, and as a joke, I asked about Mars. One kid responded with, "it is cold and DIE!"
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Nov 4, 2013 03:54
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More silly student quotes: (first grade writing/listening exercises) ME: "Number one, 'It's a blue cat.'" THOMAS: (best student ever) "You're a blue cat!" ME: "Maybe! Okay, number two: 'The violin is on the chair.'" THOMAS: "YOU'RE A CHAIR!" ME: "You might be right! Oh, Rebecca, you need a period there." THOMAS: "YOU'RE A PERIOD!!!!!!" Same kid: "I will play Mozart on the tuba for you!"
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Nov 18, 2013 09:58
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Koreans: 5TH GRADE BOY: Teacher! I am gay! ME: Wow, really? BOY: Yes, yes! I am very very gay all the time! ME: Hunh. Okay. BOY: Are you surprised? ME: No. (Boy stares at me with mouth open as his friend falls down laughing.) ME: "What does Santa Claus do?" 4TH GRADE BOY: "He kills children." ME: "Are you sure?" 4TH GRADE BOY: "Yes, he kills every student and girl and boy and baby! WITH A GUN!" ME: "But there aren't any guns in Korea." 4TH GRADE BOY: "He's American." (During a game where they have to describe a picture to a kid who can't see it, the picture being "mouse") 6TH GRADE GIRL: "Uhhh, cheese friend!" BOY: "No, cheese V.S.!" A 5th grade boy walked up to me and proudly handed me a piece of paper, on which was written "Shut the gently caress" I just gave it back to him and said, "That's incorrect" in a bored tone of voice. His face fell. I guess he was expecting a bigger reaction? Later that day, he came in and handed me another piece of paper. This one said "I Love You." 5TH GRADE BOY: "Teacher, I want to go to American school." ME: "Why?" BOY: "Uhhh...I can eat many delicious things, and no academy!" (afterschool extra classes that can go as late as midnight. Every night.) GIRL: *very seriously* "No, you will go to jail." One of my third graders has been running around screaming "TAKAI DESU NE" for the past two weeks. ME: "Jongshik, why are you saying 'takai desu ne'?" JONGSHIK: "I don't know." ME: "Do you know what it means?" JONGSHIK: "No." ME: "It means, 'it's expensive, isn't it?' in Japanese." JONGSHIK: "So?" ME: "Do you speak Japanese?" JONGSHIK: "No, I hate Japanese, Japanese are very very crazy and all die. TAKAI DESU NE TAKAI DESU NEEEE" And it's surprising how many people want "DDONG" (poop) for their Christmas present.
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Dec 22, 2013 13:28
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Captain Candyblood posted:Ahhhh these are so hilarious and adorable. Kids learning English say the greatest things. bringmyfishback, if you have any more stories about teaching I'd love to hear them Oh, this happened today: We were playing this game where students have to identify a K-pop song and singer/band by reading or listening to the English lyrics. In case you weren't aware, Korean pop music, much like J-pop or...really any East Asian pop, has random amounts of (occasionally good) English sprinkled throughout most songs. The point of the game was 1. To help the kids practice their listening/reading/translating skills, and 2. To eat up the last day before vacation, because god loving forbid they give us Monday off if Tuesday and Wednesday are off and it's the complete end of the school year ARGH WHY. Another thing you need to know is that there is a popular (male) Korean singer named G-Dragon. Each question had a hint as to solo or group song, singer gender, year of release, etc. My kids got stumped on one (female, released this year) and asked for a hint. I gave them "G." One boy screamed, "G-DRAGON!" "What? No, it's a girl, see? Solo girl song." He came running from the back of the classroom to tell me the following: "No, teacher, is G-Dragon's mother. Her name is Mama G-Dragon. And she is solo because G-Dragon's father is...die." I could not give him points, but how I wanted to!
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Dec 23, 2013 08:38
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Shath Hole posted:Yep it was I was going to ask the same thing and am now in tears in the office from laughing. Everyone I work with hates that song worse than poison, but because the students know all the words and they're in English, we're compelled to keep playing the loving thing. detectivemonkey posted:Are there enough ESL goons to make a separate thread? I have a few things that are less poo poo kids say (because they're adults) and more funny/insanely observant things ESL students say. There are a lot. Like, most of the Asia-specific threads in T&T have a majority of ESL teachers as posters, I think. Also, not mine, but a friend's facebook status: ME: What do you get in your stocking if you're bad? STUDENT: A Justin Bieber
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Dec 24, 2013 07:39
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AATREK CURES KIDS posted:A couple threads like this have gotten goldmined over the years, please make a new one. Okay. http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3597154 I'll be posting in there from now on.
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Dec 24, 2013 09:54
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I had to share this here rather than in the ESL students thread (I just posted there and don't want to be THAT GUY posting constantly in my own thread). ME: "Who can name an endangered species?" STUDENT: "African babies!" ME: "Uh, that's not a species." STUDENT: "Yes, but they die a lot." My fifth graders are sensitive.
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Jan 7, 2014 08:27
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The new fashionable insult amongst my second graders is "baby underpants."
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Apr 25, 2014 03:09
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Facepalm Ranger posted:My mum promised we'd go to Disneyland paris when I was 8. Never happened. Disneyland sucks, Disney World is the tits!
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Jun 10, 2014 14:14
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dino. posted:Friend's daughter wants to be the president's wife when she grows up. gently caress, I'm down for that, too. She's not dumb.
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Jul 25, 2014 05:27
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I'm wearing a Finn onesie at school today since it's Halloween and the kids are DYING. Most of them keep asking me where Jake is (I tell him he's at the other elementary school in this neighborhood, which is true, as my husband teaches there and he's wearing a Jake onesie), or where my sword is (couldn't find a cheap one, so I tell them I was fighting the Ice King and it got stuck in a wall of his castle), but the best came from a fifth grade boy who very seriously asked me if I was wearing anything underneath. He seemed pretty worried about it. Also, one girl in the same grade walked into class and burst into laugh-tears because she has a crush on Finn. It was so adorable  and a tiny bit weird.
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Oct 31, 2014 04:55
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Nekodoshi posted:"it isnt a party without pudding!" Your niece and I have similar views on life.
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Dec 1, 2014 08:27
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Bertrand Hustle posted:Your niece owns. "Teacher, give me candy." "Nope." "teacher, PLEASE give me candy." "Nope." "Teacher, please, please, please, you are so beautiful, I LOVE YOU, PLEASE I very very love you, give me a candy PLEASE I LOVE YOU!" "Still no." *Korean cussing* not really) ...it's still (mostly) kind of endearing.
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Dec 2, 2014 12:17
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To contribute to the darkness: ME: So, what are you going to do this weekend? 5TH GRADER: Maybe my father will hit me. ME: Oh. Merry Christmas. 5TH GRADER: It's my very good Christmas present. I wish I could explain to him why that's not actually funny, but the beauty of this job is being allowed to laugh when the kids say off-color stuff.
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Dec 12, 2014 01:20
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LaughMyselfTo posted:Congrats on being lovely at your job! How much Korean do you speak? He doesn't speak much English. I'm of the mind that I should be encouraging them to communicate in English as much as possible, even if what they say is rude or a little surprising. Also, that's not even close to the worst thing I've heard a kid say. Pick your battles, friend. And take further accusations to PM, please. Fleta Mcgurn has a new favorite as of 02:03 on Dec 12, 2014 |
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Dec 12, 2014 02:01
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Sex Hobbit posted:Also I'm told it's socially acceptable for TEACHERS to hit kids in Korea, let alone their own parents. Technically illegal, but that doesn't stop most of my coworkers. I actually had to ask a Korean co-teacher to leave the classroom last week because she snapped and started whaling on this kid with her pointer. She was most surprised by my reaction. In any case, if his parents were abusing him, I doubt he'd joke about it. But I know my students and you guys don't, so I could see how it might be a cause for concern if you don't know much about teaching here.
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Dec 12, 2014 02:27
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Sentient Data posted:When my youngest kid was given a piece of candy on a holiday for the first time (starburst; for those not familiar, think super soft taffy), she asked "juice cheese?" without any prompting. This was back when her vocabulary could probably be measured in the dozens of words, so it really blew my mind. Your kid is a frigging genius. That's the best thing I've heard in a long time.
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Dec 16, 2014 03:18
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"Hey, young bringmyfishback, you wanna hear a dirty joke?" "Yeah!!!!" "A white horse fell into a mud puddle." "Daaaaaaad, that's not a joke!" "Yeah, not to you." *laughs at me and goes to secretly smoke pot in the basement* My dad is cool.
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Apr 29, 2015 11:34
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The second graders have started yelling "colored panties" every time I say "colored pencils" in class. (Quickie Korean lesson: panties= underwear for all genders.)
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May 8, 2015 11:32
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The girls in one sixth grade class were particularly pouty yesterday when they walked in. ME: "What's wrong, guys? Are you sad?" JASMIN: "No! We are ANGRY!!!!!" SIHYUN: "YEAH SO ANGRY!" ME: "What happened?" JASMIN: "PEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!" *slams fists on the desk* Turns out the girls were embarrassed during their urine testing checks because they thought the boys wouldn't be able to see them giving the nurse their urine. Their collective indignation was hilarious.
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Jun 6, 2015 06:58
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It's a diabetes test. They're really worried about diabetes here. And pookel: they were embarrassed because they thought the boys wouldn't be able to see them handing over their pee, but they (the boys) could. They were at opposite ends of the gym, but there wasn't a screen blocking the handover.
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Jun 7, 2015 04:57
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sweeperbravo posted:
hahaha, my kids will scream and cover their faces if they see a girl in any kind of swimsuit. Funnier considering how popular the jjimjilbang is. kinmik posted:Maybe they wouldn't have to worry if they stopped putting sugar in oh, loving everything. But no, I love cooking Korean food when it's not dredged in the stuff. GARLIC BREAD  WTF YOU GUYSBasically, aside from a handful of things, I have to cook Korean food myself if I don't want it to be a sugary mess. Sucks.
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Jun 8, 2015 09:34
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bikini
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Choco1980 posted:My 8-year-old son likes jokes. Yesterday at Dinner I was mentioning how I love the show Hannibal to my parents at the table, and he decides to mishear it and comes up with "Hammibal" a pig that eats bacon for breakfast. Holy crap, today one of my kids accidentally wrote "Chris Hamsworth" instead of Hemsworth and another kid saw it immediately screamed "TEACHER HE'S DELICIOUS!"
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Jun 11, 2015 09:38
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Speaking of weird toy names, my (then 4) brother got a couple of cheap plastic whale toys on a family trip to Cape Cod. He named them Sheena and Poonday. Then he fell in love with a lobster claw, named it Stan after my great-uncle, and insisted on sleeping with it every night until Stan "accidentally" got smashed underneath a book OH WHOOPS. gently caress you, Stan.
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Oct 14, 2015 06:14
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Do teenagers count? ME: "Hi, Student, I like your shirt." STUDENT:  "I LIKE YOUR BOOBS!!!!!" ME: 
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Dec 26, 2015 06:27
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RandomFerret posted:I participated in a secret Santa this year, and we had wish lists to go along with our names in the drawing. I just put for mine "the power to decide who lives and who dies" because nobody's taking this poo poo seriously and whatever junk I get I'll just end up throwing out anyway. This is amazing!
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Dec 27, 2015 04:46
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Choco1980 posted:Seriously, like any alphabet toy or game for toddlers that doesn't restrict itself to animals for their pictures will use Apple for A. Probably because it's a common enough fruit that most kids will figure out what it is quickly. A lot of ESL alphabet materials produced outside English-speaking countries will use a word that has X at the end, like fox. Occasionally, though, they just ignore it altogether. I used to visit kindergartens in Japan on a bi-weekly basis to play English games with the midgets and one location had a beautiful alphabet chart with NO X ON IT. The kids would ask me where the X was and I would usually say it went to fight Iron Man or something. Luckily, when you have forty three-year-olds in a single room, the subject changes quickly.
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Jan 11, 2016 04:53
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Soulex posted:My son ran into the bathroom when I was pissing, took post near the side of the toilet. He smiled at me then back at the toilet. He then reached out with hands to touch the stream (probably thinking it was water, he loves showers) and I jerked back and told him "no, it's pee pee." Without breaking a beat he looked at me and said "I like peepee." A couple of months ago, I saw a little boy peeing on a tree. His younger brother was sticking his shoe-clad foot in the stream. Mom was watching impassively. I live in China, so it's not uncommon to see kids pissing and making GBS threads literally anywhere. For example, the floor of the supermarket, or the subway platform. loving split pants.
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Feb 25, 2016 02:22
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no buddy. No you don't.
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flosofl posted:Of course you did. Anti-jokes that are told by little kids are hilarious. I'm sure it's been posted here before, but in case you didn't know: http://badkidsjokes.tumblr.com/ I've laughed so hard at this that I've choked, especially back in my days of readily available herbal supplements.
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Mar 5, 2016 15:00
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I subbed at one of our middle schools yesterday and today: "My name is KATIE and it's NOT HELLO KITTY SO DON'T CALL ME HELLO KITTY!!!!!" KID: "What's your name?" ME: "I'm bringmyfishback, how about you?" KID: "I'm David. Where are you from?" ME: "I'm from New York." KID: "Oh, yes, I know about New York. On September 11th, 2001, a plan was flown into the World Trade Center by Islamic terrorists. It was a national tragedy. Do you like basketball?" ME:  "...sure, David, basketball is cool."We then went on to talk about World War II.
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Mar 11, 2016 12:28
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"Hey, bringmyfishback, do you know the band Pretty Necklace?" "Uh...do you mean The Pretty Reckless?" "NO! Wait, yeah."
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Mar 14, 2016 12:58
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STUDENT A: "Student B and Student C got hosed by a dog." ME: "Excuse me?" STUDENT A: "Student B and Student C, a dog hosed them." ME: "YOU NEED TO EXPLAIN THIS." STUDENT A: "It's okay, he's really small." Turns out one of the freshmen had brought a puppy to school...and this is how we learrned the phrase "humped by."
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Apr 19, 2016 11:27
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Stairs posted:You need to write a book about this. Seriously every post is amazing. ME: "Okay, look at picture A."  ME: "This is Jill; she has a problem. What do you think her problem is?" TOM: "She is the grandmother of God." (He meant "fortune-teller.") Also, one of his classmates wrote an essay about how she plans to start a restaurant called Fart Family Restaurant. I LOVE my job.
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Apr 19, 2016 12:33
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Doing an activity in class where they have to practice giving advice. One student presents a situation, asks two other students for advice, and awards a piece of candy to whoever gives the best suggestion. It was going really well- once I made a rule that "kill yourself" isn't acceptable as advice- and then this happened: STUDENT 1: "My friend's grandmother died and I want to make him feel better. How can I help him?" S2: "You should do his grandmother!" It turns out, he meant "be his grandmother"...I'm not sure which suggestion is better. Or worse. So they learned some English slang that day. After we finished cracking up, S3 raised her hand: S3: "Hey, bringmyfishback?" ME: 'Yeah?" S3: "I have advice for S2." ME: "Okay, go ahead." S3: "After that...you should kill yourself." S2: "Yeah, okay, I think so, too."
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May 11, 2016 04:23
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I showed a picture of a bearded man dressed as Elsa to the middle schoolers today. One kid, in a long and splendid litany, "OH MY GOD WHAT THE HELL WHAT AM I LOOKING AT OH poo poo MY EYES!" Longest English sentence I've heard so far. Same class, another kid reacted to my saying their regular teacher's name by screaming "SHE'S A BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and then starting to cry.
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May 20, 2016 11:33
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I present to you the work of a student I will call "Rihanna": I create my own holiday which is called "A-Cup Day." Every A-cup girl will takes a party and celebrates her small boobs. A-cup girls can sleep easily and when they are running, they can never feel a hefty roll of flab overhanging their breast. Big boobs girls must serve small boobs girls and say "I love small boobs, small boobs is the best, you deserve it!" Big boobs girls must praise the girls with small boobs. Anyway, on this day, small boobs girls can have SEX with each handsome boy which they want to. Because you know, small boobs= Better sex. And the most important thing is that you can wear whatever the gently caress you want in this holiday. But you must remember Rihanna is the queen in "A-Cup Day." She is the only girl who has the most complanate airport in the class. Finals are next week, can you tell?
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Jun 16, 2016 11:11
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| # ¿ Apr 30, 2024 04:38 |
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Bertrand Hustle posted:Do you teach in China, or is "airport" slang for small boobs somewhere else as well? Haha, yes, China.
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Jun 16, 2016 11:42
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