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Pyroi
Aug 17, 2013

gay elf noises
I vote for B, because we must not be held back by the shackles of the past. A fresh new design that doesn't include the Chi-ro is the wisest choice for the Emperor who wishes to be remembered throughout all of history.

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Pyroi
Aug 17, 2013

gay elf noises

New Byzantines

We surrender, following Option A. During the period of peace, we build up our armies to destroy the Bulgarian Rebellion, and then we take back what was rightfully ours in the first place from the Saimids. Glory to the New Byzantine Empire!

Pyroi
Aug 17, 2013

gay elf noises

JT Jag posted:

Speaking of, I have connections with a few retired hashashin who already live in Saimid territory who will pretty much do anything if the gold is right, so... you know, that option is open. If you just want to murder the fucker and blow their empire to pieces.

I agree with this, once the temporary changing of territory is complete, and we are ready to destroy them, we cut off the head of the snake, and then slice up the rest of it!

Pyroi
Aug 17, 2013

gay elf noises
Senators! Greeks! Countrymen! Lend me your ears, if just for a moment. Before we even think about attacking the Saimids, we must first take care of the Bulgarian Rebellion that has the GALL to call itself an empire. We need our troops back for that first, then we can concern ourselves with expanding eastwards.

Pyroi
Aug 17, 2013

gay elf noises

Sky Shadowing posted:

It is the civic duty of all Romans to restore Order and Civilization to all the peoples of the world, not just the Turks, the Bulgarians, but to the Gauls, the Iberians, and the Britons. I dream of a future where all of Christendom is protected and unified, where a man may walk from the shores of tthe Great Ocean in the West to pray in Holy Jerusalem and never feel threatened because Roman might shall bring ruin to one who would threaten him.

But, my friend, are we truly Rome anymore? We must look past the past and find our own way into the future--after all, had Caesar not fought against the demands of the Republic, we would not have even have the Empire to look back on! We must not say that we are Rome, we must say that we are the heirs to Rome! This is an age where we must devise new tactics and ideas if we ever hope to claim our rightful inheritance, not wallow in past glories!

Pyroi
Aug 17, 2013

gay elf noises

Horsebanger posted:



Just because we do not hold our ancestral lands, does not mean we have turned our back on them. We continue Roman traditions and keep the dying light of true civilization alive!

It is our duty to retake Italia, and put an end to this Catholic imposter empire in Germania. Rome is our legacy, but it is also our future.



Indeed, part of what we need to do is retake former Roman lands from those who seek to be the false heir to Rome. However, this is a new age from when Rome was in her prime, and thus we need new ideas to compliment those made by the Romans so long ago. Let's face it, Rome fell when it was divided in two, but we can pick up the pieces and make something greater than the sum of its parts--the Byzantine Empire!

Pyroi
Aug 17, 2013

gay elf noises

Skyfinder posted:



Gentlemen of the Senate, today is a sad day for Romans all and everywhere. For our Empress has been slain.

A moment of prayer for the Empress and her many deeds in the name of the Empire. May she rest in piece in the afterlife she has so richly earned.

...

The nobles must pay for what they have done. Death is too good for them, they should be thrown in a dungeon and left to rot for the rest of their miserable existences.

Pyroi
Aug 17, 2013

gay elf noises

NewMars posted:

Friends, those undecided, even foes.

I come to you now to announce the establishment of a new, cross-factional initiative with a singular goal: the reestablishment of a standing army to protect the empire! The old legions are gone and with them our greatest military strength, to be replaced by the levies of the Doux. We have seen the fell harvest this practice has reaped. So it is I say to you, be you Old Roman, Komenian, New Byzantine, Milevian or Latin sympathizer, let us join together undivided as the Novum Mariae (or "New Marians" in the vernacular) and begin the resurrection of the might of Rome! We are not a faction, but a group that crosses such borders with a single, specific goal, just to clarify, that being the recreation of the Legions (or failing that, some sort of standing army).



I would like to align myself with you. We need a standing army to be ready in case of any sort of a surprise attack on the Empire. The more widespread our territory becomes, the longer it will take to mobilize the army in its entirety. Not having to rely on the traitorous Doux is an added bonus.

Pyroi
Aug 17, 2013

gay elf noises

Flesnolk posted:



Add establishing claims of some sort over Rome and Venice, and allying with whomever we can (ideas: Kiev and Hungary), to that list and you have something I can support unreservedly. Also, what we had said before about replacing the douxes.



Indeed. If we can take Venice, we should be able to seize most of the trade in the Mediterranean. It will also give us the manpower and territory we so desperately need to form the Legions once more. We also will be needing allies if we want to destroy the...whoever's to the east of us, I can't keep track of who's in charge.

Pyroi
Aug 17, 2013

gay elf noises

Flesnolk posted:



Too far away? Pah! Unless our navy is in a pitiful state indeed since last I checked, it is not a long voyage at all, as close as sailing to the coast of Croatia, and those upstarts would certainly be in no position to stop the Imperial fleet from going where it may!


Sir, have you not seen what has happened to Jerusalem? Disconnected from their territory, it now shifts hands as easy as I could throw a tomato at you. Which is quite easy.

Pyroi
Aug 17, 2013

gay elf noises

Gnooble posted:


Roman East Directive

In keeping with this the Empress is directed to reclaim Antioch, as one of the greatest and wealthiest cities of Roman antiquity and the seat of one of our holy Pentarchs. The reclaimed land should be placed under the administration of an Imperial Governor.

Flesnolk posted:


The Preemptive Strike

The Empress is directed to immediately revoke the themes of all douxes found to be leading or involved with dissident factions against the crown, on the first offence, with these titles to be given to family members or loyal courtiers instead. Or, for our amusement, whichever of the doux's vassals they hate the most. An addendum: We should consider making more merchant republics and despotates to reduce the power of the douxes even further.

AdventFalls posted:



The Jerusalem Pilgrimage

Should the Empress find herself in a position to expand after having retaken central Anatolia, she should attempt to conquer the Mediterranean coastline to Jerusalem.


I second/third/whatever number I am all of these. Territory and the destruction of any traitorous Douxes? This sounds like the best possible set of things to do.

Pyroi
Aug 17, 2013

gay elf noises

Duckbag posted:

I'd like to point out that the Komnenians have always had an ideology all our own and aren't afraid to make a stand. I mean, if you're just going to vote for whatever's winning anyway, why even bother to show up? You might as well just hire a proxy to vote for you. Like how I make my dog, Scruffles, acting senator every time I've had too many.

You know, that explains so much about the past week. By the way, your dog might be drunk now. And stranded in Rome.

Pyroi
Aug 17, 2013

gay elf noises

Blackunknown posted:


Steppes and Republics

I leave the senate for two hours and now half the senators are drunk, and i'm pretty sure the one in the corner there is dead, what happened when I was gone? Are the Seljulks invading? Are did the Empress get assassinated? Are the Bulgarians rebelling again? It's the Croatians isn't it?


(What follows is a rough translation of a drunken rant. It has been translated into readable text for your sanity.)
I'm not quite dead yet! What happened is that the Komnenians make very nice drinks. Who's for going to go kill some Douxes!
(The Senator then collapsed unconscious into a pile of maps of Europe.)

Pyroi
Aug 17, 2013

gay elf noises

Blackunknown posted:


Steppes and Republics

Perhaps we need to ban consumption of alcohol until after the senate meeting. I mean if the wineries are in trouble we can't have drunk senators laying about, if this affects the Empire's wine trade it could be a serious issue to funding.



Hey, let's not get crazy here. It was just a wine tasting party...I think. I don't really remember most of last night. Also, could you keep it down over there? You're yelling way too loud.

Pyroi
Aug 17, 2013

gay elf noises
Whoa, this is the senate? Well, my father died, so I guess I'm a new senator or something? So...I guess I'll join a faction then.

I hear these guys throw great parties.

Pyroi
Aug 17, 2013

gay elf noises

Talky posted:



Or we can convert to Islam, marry such that the Komenian dynasty merges with the Caliphate, and then convert the Illkhanate as they sweep away the hated Turks!


Dude, let's not get crazy here. The Komenians should not have to besmirch themselves by destroying the title of Komenian.

Pyroi
Aug 17, 2013

gay elf noises
The senator who's seat I now take the place of had no surviving relatives. He was discovered with a dagger in his back, drunk off his rear end after a Komnenian Party earlier in the year. I now see it fit to take his place as his most trusted advisor.

##Vote New Byzantines

##Vote Phanariotes
And as the newest senator, I believe that the New Byzantines, until they prove otherwise, are those who will lead the empire into greatness. Personally, I also suggest planting the seeds of turmoil elsewhere in Europe so that they tear each other apart and make themselves easier for the Empire to acquire. I also advocate for the expansion of our knowledge of the sciences,in order to more easily dominate the world with our advanced knowledge.

Pyroi
Aug 17, 2013

gay elf noises

Blackunknown posted:


Steppes and Republics

I'm.... not sure how to respond to this.


Hmm...no, no I'm not incredibly drunk.

I'm not sure how to respond either. Are there even any Hellenistic peoples left in the world?

Pyroi
Aug 17, 2013

gay elf noises

JGBeagle posted:


The People

The Empress takes orders from you, not the people she actually governs. She gives power to people who want nothing more than her crown. Does the farmer want to rule the Empire? No, he just wants what's best for his crops. There are plenty of people in this Empire that are ignored just because they don't want to go fight the Turks for a bunch of useless land. Am I ever going to Bulgaria? No, because I have more pressing matters to attend to like what the people want.

POWER TO THE PEOPLE! END THE SENATE!


It appears that the number of insane senators increases by the day. You do realize that if the Senate is disbanded, the ruler of the Empire still won't care about what the common peasant wants. What we do is what is in the best desires of the Empire at large, not for each and every man within our borders.

Pyroi
Aug 17, 2013

gay elf noises

JGBeagle posted:


The People

Nice to see the people are as unrepresented as usual. Looks like we put our faith in the wrong Empress. :colbert:


Well, what were you expecting? I did tell you that the peasants don't matter in the larger picture of the empire.

Anyway, who's up for an alcohol tasting after the legislation gets passed? I know the Komnenians have some drinks they've been dying to get the rest of the senate drunk on.

Pyroi
Aug 17, 2013

gay elf noises

j00rBuDdY posted:


## Propose The Mongolian Enlightenment Act

The Mongols must be converted to the Orthodox Faith. I believe I speak for the entire Phanariote coalition with this proposal.


I will ##sponsor this bill. Orthodoxy is sadly underrepresented in the world at large.

Pyroi
Aug 17, 2013

gay elf noises

Talas posted:


## Sponsor the university construction act
## Sponsor the trilingual literacy act.


Few minutes too late my friend, we just finished voting. Speaking of which, where's the alcohol? Don't we celebrate with alcohol after we decide on the policies that will decide the direction of the empire for years to come?

Pyroi
Aug 17, 2013

gay elf noises

The Saurus posted:

No War but Trade War

embargo all the italians


This senator is going places. Already proposing legislation.

Pyroi
Aug 17, 2013

gay elf noises

Deceitful Penguin posted:


Yes! From victory to success to triumph, truly the Komnenoi are the greatest of Dynasties!

Hang on though, do we know control Longbardia? Isn't that way in the middle of the Alemanni Holey "Empire"? I'm looking at the map and seeing an awful lot of "Not Purple". And aren't they, one of their, err, Electors or some such rot? Won't that make the other fellows somewhat irate? It would be a shame if they were to start squabbling amongst themselves, maybe over the death of their king, would it not? Especially if it meant that their petty lords would rebel, making our takeover all the more justified, would it not?


It would be a great shame. We would have to step in--we can't have a massive war destroying our "Roman" neighbors. And should our territory happen to expand during some sort of a hokey Roman civil war, well, that's just a side bonus.

Pyroi
Aug 17, 2013

gay elf noises

Ratoslov posted:



In the name of John the Forerunner, stop making new parties. Please. We're running out of space for flags.


Hold on, I think I can make some more room, let me just move some of the senate seats. We don't need this many chairs, right?

Pyroi
Aug 17, 2013

gay elf noises

Lord Cyrahzax posted:



Who says that devil has to die? Seeing him in chains would be far more cathartic. Imagine it: the triumph of triumphs! Rome reconquered, our old treasures marched down the streets of Constantinople, and, as the final touch, we force the Pope to accept the Greek Rite! A wonderful dream, no? And, even more wonderfully, it is within our grasp.


I like the way this man thinks. Mental torture is always one of the best ways to treat your enemies after you subjugate them.

Pyroi
Aug 17, 2013

gay elf noises

Lord Cyrahzax posted:



Mental torture? Evil unto evil? That is hardly what I described. No, I offer two things: jubilation for all true Christians, and salvation for an old devil. After his defeat and expulsion from Rome, it would be irresponsible, nay, sinful, to allow the Pope to carry on his heresy. Our triumph over the greatest heresy in our history is only icing on that cake.


I am merely implying that it would be mental torture for them to convert from their beloved Catholic-ness.

Pyroi
Aug 17, 2013

gay elf noises

I now see that the Old Romans are the superior party here. And now we stand upon the precipice of becoming Rome once again. I suppose the question is if we will move our capital to Rome, or remain here in Constantinople. I mean, we've put so much work into defending and improving Constantinople, and I'm not quite sure if Rome's defenses will hold up to snuff in comparison. I for one, invite the return of the Roman Empire, and know that soon we will conquer all of our former lands and bring this world back into the greatness it once was. For Rome!

Pyroi
Aug 17, 2013

gay elf noises

Well, what else do you expect us to do? Just twiddle our thumbs as the world crumbles into rebellions and war? Just look at Kiev to our North--once more fractured! And don't even get started on whoever's to our east, they fracture weekly now! We are restoring the glory and stability of Rome! There will always have to be death and destruction before progress can be made for the righteous, and as the Roman Empire, we are the most righteous power in the world. If it means a brighter future for all peoples, who will all one day serve gladly under the rule of the Roman Emperor once more, we must use any means necessary to bring this future to light.

Pyroi
Aug 17, 2013

gay elf noises

Tevery Best posted:


I would like to establish an inter-party coalition, the Paint it, White initiative.

Sir, surely you jest! The Black Chamber is nothing more than mere propaganda created by the enemies of the Empire, and anyone who says otherwise is quite obviously insane. That's why they all end up dead very quickly. Insanity.

Pyroi
Aug 17, 2013

gay elf noises

##Vote Old Romans

##Vote Phanariotes
My gathered friends and enemies alike, we now stand upon the cusp of a New Roman Empire. I believe we all know what we must now do. We must become the Roman Empire in name as well as in territory.

Pyroi
Aug 17, 2013

gay elf noises

TheFlyingLlama posted:

OOC: the only thing to remember about that is, the Komenians are united, while the groups of the Discordians basically all hate each other. The Discordians are what, 3 or four different parties? I think only the Guiding Light and the True Religion's Advocates In Time Of Rebellion & Strife have multiple members.

OOC: Isn't a group in Discord the best way to represent a group called the Discordians? I think so.

Pyroi
Aug 17, 2013

gay elf noises

Ah, I appear to have fallen asleep. What happened while I was...

Oh. You passed laws without me. Okay then. Glory to Rome, I'm going back to sleep.

Pyroi
Aug 17, 2013

gay elf noises

AJ_Impy posted:

It seems ironic that the New Byzantine senates presided over endless wars of conquest, suppressions and religious expansion, whereas the Old Roman/Milvian coalition oversaw years of peaceful development, civic building improvements and diplomatic progress.

We should all vote Centrist, then everyone becomes happy!

Pyroi
Aug 17, 2013

gay elf noises

Ghostwoods posted:



My dear Senator Freudian, you've clearly taken leave of whatever senses you're purported to have possessed. Wonderful! Welcome overboard.

Pull up a muffin, sit yourself down.


Wait, the Discordians have had muffins this whole time?

Also, what is a muffin?

Pyroi
Aug 17, 2013

gay elf noises

Lord Cyrahzax posted:

Leading from the front? Fine, I suppose. Leading from the front lines? Fighting duels? Ridiculous. If an Emperor is skilled enough to command troops, let him. But let him be surrounded by cataphracts and Varangians, on horseback, and not fighting duels to the death! Why would they ever do that? Let these challengers of our Emperor's honor be crushed under a thousand hooves.


It is tradition for the Emperor/Empress to lead the army. However, I do think that perhaps we could use a few more people leading armies other than the leader of the empire. The Emperor/Empress should lead the armies, but not fight on the front lines. That's what we have the Drungarios for, right?

Pyroi
Aug 17, 2013

gay elf noises
I suppose that with the recent tragedies that have befallen the empire, there is little else to do but wait. Did we expand too quickly? Kill too many? I do know one thing though. The line that has held this senator's seat for the past few generations will no longer by Byzantine or Roman.



Go Team Discord! Woo!

Pyroi
Aug 17, 2013

gay elf noises

The past years have been marked by a near-constant influx of Douxes and Catholic Mercenaries. Thus, I say, with the utmost certainty...

gently caress the Douxes.

Pyroi
Aug 17, 2013

gay elf noises

Gnooble posted:



I invite all the other senators who do not feel that this dictatoris fit to command the loyalty of the Senate to join me at my Italian villa...as far away from the Slav as we can get and join me in my contemplation of the lives of true heroes of Rome, that we might find guidance...Marcus Junius Brutus and Lucius Junius Brutus


You see, this is the same attitude that led to the last 7 Civil Wars. We need to be united.

On another note, we need more internal stability. Can someone remove this traitor to the throne from the chamber?

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Pyroi
Aug 17, 2013

gay elf noises

To be honest, I'm slightly happy that he's dead. My informants were finding it hard to keep finding me when we moved every three hours.

Also the constant threats of poo poo explosions.

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