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Troll Bridgington posted:Looks like some news is breaking about what actually happened to the plane. What a terrifying way to go. I laughed pretty good. hemale in pain posted:I remember a crash investigation when it turned out one of the pilots had decided to fly the plane into a mountain. On a less extreme, but still retarded, note there was a goon around here who said he got into a car accident by someone deliberately driving on the wrong side of the road and purposely into him in an attempt to commit suicide. Seriously, if you want to die and take others with you at least look for the police.
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Mar 14, 2014 15:19
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redshirt posted:It's probably linked to the Bermuda Triangle via transdimensional portal. Wait a second... Malaysia, lady boys, transdimensional portal,... A triangle has 3 points, here we have 3 dots that connect and form a triangle the third gendering. We're onto something here!
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Mar 14, 2014 15:42
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Three Olives posted:Oddly it seems CNN International isn't carrying this live. What a surprise CNN isn't carrying something relatively important. Instead they'd rather talk about dresses. Cannot Find Server posted:of all the theories i've heard, this is the most depressing. Yeah it would be a tragedy to be stuck inside that sad brained game.
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Mar 15, 2014 08:01
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Doobie here... I'm prezident of Malaysia now.... Restaurant opening soon... Just gotta finish finding the plane... God bless..
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Mar 15, 2014 08:06
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Gonz posted:If by "the moon" you mean "the plane currently exists 3 weeks into the past after flying into a wormhole, and is about to be eaten by the Langoliers", then yes. Don't worry they'll pop open a bottle of champagne to get drink and see that it still fizzles.
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Mar 15, 2014 08:13
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Lady Galaga posted:
Malaysians have none of those things and cant even fly a plane. Should have been the text.
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Mar 15, 2014 09:32
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At this point I kind of wish some james bond villain would come forward with shrewd demands about the plane or some super weapon.Seriously More interesting than these paranoid terrorist bullshit theories.
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Mar 15, 2014 09:50
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I can't believe how serious some people take this thread. You just need to admit to yourselves, jizz was the culprit, Jizz on the controls. Jizz on the instruments. She shoulda swallowed.
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Mar 15, 2014 10:39
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Mola Yam posted:my controls have jizz all over them and i can post ("fly" if you will) just fine Clearly your jizz didn't leak down into the keys. I know if I spill "water" on my keyboard i loving shorts out till it dries out.
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Mar 15, 2014 10:47
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Al-Saqr posted:Oooohhhh Boooooyyy They were too busy raping to turn them on.
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Mar 15, 2014 10:49
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Lolie posted:Or they were turned on and India shot the aircraft down when they couldn't identify it (unlikely, but so are most of the other theories). They only shoot it down when it stops them from raping so if the plane said "Stop assaulting that woman!" then they prolly shot it. Okay I think I'm beating a dead horse a bit much here.
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Mar 15, 2014 10:56
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WastedJoker posted:I think the authorities are forcing a narrative to fit the limited evidence - it already smacks of a covering asses job. I really could give a poo poo. I just hope they use jizz and bjays.
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Mar 15, 2014 12:14
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Yivgev posted:my dad works at nintendo and he told me that they flew to an island with an active volcano and theres a secret base that looks like a skull built into the side of the volcano and the skull mouth opens and a runway comes out of it and they landed on that. There was jizz involved though right? Lady Galaga posted:I'm really surprised how quick the Malay government went to the pirated 777 theory so I still wanna stick to the Malaysia are trolling the world theory Or they're super incompetent and just want to go with whatever they think people will believe the easiest. Knight Corgi posted:It's almost impossible to hijack in the classical way (which is, get up from your seat, yell at people and storm into the cockpit) nowadays right?  What do you think this flight was in America? No one gives a poo poo about it outside America. Security is super lax. The shoe bomber came from outside the US flight. I"m pretty sure they still don't make you take your shoes off outside of the US. Retail Slave posted:What if the plane itself was the terrorist? It somehow became sentient, radicalized, and bent on destroying the West. It was fed up with the pilots trying to bang women in its cockpit.
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Mar 15, 2014 14:34
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Feranon posted:lol if you think those kind of dudes can get it above like, a 3 They've all got John Boehners going right now
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Mar 15, 2014 14:37
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Russell William Thorpe posted:What the hell is a "ping" in this case? Does it say "hello this is Engine number 3453 doing my hourly check-in, going at 2550 rpm"? Or is it more like a bit or two they find in a database they pull from the satellite logs that's supposed to be there only if a check in was made? Microsofts new search engine App.
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Mar 15, 2014 14:47
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doomisland posted:They don't make me take my shoes off in America either Are you white? albany academy posted:it's not terrorists its aliens Terrorist aliens from another dimension
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Mar 15, 2014 15:26
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jscolon2.0 posted:Viral marketing for a new luxury resort. They're probably having champagne brunch right now. New summer movie. Plane goes missing. Calling it now crappy summer action movie.
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Mar 15, 2014 16:13
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WaryWarren posted:Liam Neeson should be in that one lol. Only if the plane is taken over by terrorist dire wolves.
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Mar 15, 2014 16:16
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Al-Saqr posted:If after all this goose chase mystery and intrigue it turns out that the plane just simply crashed normally 20 km off the coast of Malaysia then they should just ban Malaysia from having airplanes. I say we put the people responsible for all this poo poo on a plane and reenact the crash.
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Mar 15, 2014 16:32
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WastedJoker posted:They've probably resorted to cannibalism now. Wonder what Chinese people taste like. Whats the point? You'll just get hungry a little bit later. I wonder if they ate the dead babbys first.
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Mar 15, 2014 17:33
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Herv posted:This is the saddest part of the whole thing. 'Look shiny things!' has won over the 24 hour news cycle. Hey man the news is about making money not the facts. What loving bizarre world do you live in?
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Mar 15, 2014 19:30
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PleasureKevin posted:the captain said good night to ground control and turned to his co-pilot, "sorry, friend, but this flight is not going to it's scheduled destination. I'm taking over." as the pilot began to turn the plan around, the controls gave out. the faint smell of burning electronics creeped over the two pilots. a device had been programmed to burn through the control wires mid-flight, taking control away from the captain patching it in through a radio control device. a voice came over the headsets, "greetings malaysian pilot men. this is iran. we are taking control over this flight by remote control. it's to do a 9/11 type thing. hahahaha." the pilot began to macguyver the strange electronic radio controls he found beneath the control panel. "hand me that bobble-head on the dash, co-pilot, i will use the spring inside it to--". the co-pilot interrupted, "no. i'm afraid the two of you aren't the only ones with plans for this plane. i'm really suicidal and i'm doing to crash it into the water to die." and with that he lunged for the captains neck, tiger-style. the cabin's door flung open amidst the scuffle. the men who came through wielded seat-belt extensions like nun-chuks, "hello irish. i'm the captain now. we go to america," said one. hardly anyone noticed as two well-tanned women in cowboy hats entered the cockpit behind them, "blow jobs, boys?" I KNEW blowjobs were involved.
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Mar 16, 2014 04:44
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WastedJoker posted:guys, I think we found something:
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Mar 16, 2014 16:43
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Bold Robot posted:from the captain's facebook, supposedly I feel like we may have lost a goon. 
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Mar 16, 2014 16:51
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The Casualty posted:That can't be real. It isn't even a picture of a 777. that's what sells it for me.
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Mar 16, 2014 16:55
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Some new breaking news came out about this missing plane. IDK if this was posted yet or not but there there was a very big VIP traveling in secret on it. It looks like it might not have been so secret afterall if the plane was in fact hijacked. We can only ask where he is, keep looking, and wait... Hopefully someone will find him.
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Mar 17, 2014 03:09
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No. 6 posted:The plane carrying Waldo was stolen by Carmen Sandiago. Now you gumshoes must use your wits to wrap up today's case!
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Mar 17, 2014 03:23
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Zogo posted:This is good. It just needs those timestamps like the Air France 447 flight to make it look more official. Highlights:
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Mar 17, 2014 03:57
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New theory, They descended to 1000 below sea level to avoid radar.
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Mar 17, 2014 06:00
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Well we found our french pilots.
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Mar 17, 2014 08:23
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Rick Rickshaw posted:Maybe it was a blue whale that jizzed all over the controls when they reached a radar-evading altitude. jscolon2.0 posted:slam whale  PLANE FOUND Turns out they landed in Cuba! Everyone is safe and Havana good time.
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Mar 17, 2014 17:01
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jgA2xo0HYrE We need a musical song based on this
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Mar 17, 2014 22:15
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Avshalom posted:it was the jews I knew it! I love how you loving idiots are still taking this poo poo seriously.
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Mar 18, 2014 12:50
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net cafe scandal posted:You easily have the worst posts in this thread, and indeed, in any thread. All the keys that work for good post writing are destroyed by Jizz.
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Mar 18, 2014 19:58
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I Might Be Adam posted:If you have a better place to get speculative and meandering news reported by retards who know absolutely poo poo about anything, I'd like to hear about it. info wars dot com.
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Mar 18, 2014 19:59
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gnarlyhotep posted:yes, he has posted a youtube video of him playing a bad videogame so all is right with the world there The pilot looks pretty goony. IDK if you saw that picture or not like 30 pages back.
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Mar 19, 2014 14:56
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PleasureKevin posted:If he really wanted to kill himself, he would have just jumped off the roof of Foxconn. They have nets to prevent that now.
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Mar 19, 2014 16:37
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Dreamlogic posted:Wouldn't the airline be held somewhat responsible if their employee committed mass murder on the clock? 100% the airline then.
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Mar 19, 2014 16:48
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Dreamlogic posted:Regardless of the cause though, they may as well start handing out bags of cash to the families at this point. Eh, I don't think they'll be getting much money it is Malaysia airlines after all. CottonWolf posted:Legal question: Psych evals. "How did you let this guy fly?" They'd have to prove it was evident.
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Mar 19, 2014 16:57
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Rick Rickshaw posted:I think it's usually the insurance companies that actually take the financial bath in these events. Malaysia Airlines should have insurance for crashes - on the plane and for liability (crew/passengers). yep sounds like insurance. Not giving anything until something is found.
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Mar 19, 2014 17:05
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