google: dad I hate myself and this phone is garbage

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > google: dad I hate myself and this phone is garbage

«‹›5 »

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

Ludwig van Halen posted:

how do you type a capital a?

with my ring finger because i have adult sized hands

# ¿ Sep 29, 2015 19:52

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ May 14, 2024 09:55

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

Smythe posted:

chromecast is epic for "let me show this 1 youtube vid" that becomes 3 hours of drinking beer and watching fail army vids kuz ppl can add vids to the tv youtube queue from their phones

this except all my friends are women so add a bunch of funny vids of dogges to the queue too

and tequila shots *involuntary ptsd shudder*

# ¿ Oct 14, 2015 15:53

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

uncurable mlady posted:

you know, when you're cancelling so many things that you need to make little novelty desk tombstones

maybe you should reevaluate how you're starting projects

I mean, sometimes the only way to know if a crazy idea has any useful aspects or a feasible implementation is to just try to do it. Google is big enough that they can afford to actually let people just run with ideas sometimes, and sometimes those ideas turn into things that they can make money on.

# ¿ Nov 6, 2015 15:24

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

Stux posted:

name one idea Google has made moneyon

their bigass map reduce implementation. lets them make money on search and advertising more efficiently.

# ¿ Nov 6, 2015 18:38

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

The Management posted:

dogs are great. keep them the gently caress out of the office.

this. while i was early in my immunotherapy (for my dog and cat allergies), just breathing dog or cat dander within a few days of my shots could literally kill me from anaphylaxis. I told my entire team this, and still some rear end hole brought his dog in without telling me and was like "what's your deal yo, it's friday afternoon, dog time!". Like gently caress you dude, that poo poo goes through the vents, it doesn't matter what time it is. and I can't leave early, I have poo poo to do.

# ¿ Jan 12, 2016 17:15

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

Wheany posted:

you're extremely dumb if you don't leave work if something there could kill you.

I actually went to a different building and remoted into my machine

# ¿ Jan 12, 2016 17:52

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

anthonypants posted:

maybe it's different in europe, but in america corporate taxes and private/individual taxes are two entirely different things

you cant be this stupid. the point is if he gets paid an insane amount, his ability to be paid that much depends at least somewhat on how little tax the corp pays, leaving more to pay him with. by refusing to answer, hes basically said "ridiculous bux", so he proved their point even better than if he'd just answered like "2 million", which is high but not "i got paid the 30% of profits that should have been taxes" high.

# ¿ Feb 11, 2016 16:18

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

Ochowie posted:

In what country do people get paid in after tax profit?

in my naive brainworld where laws arent structured to maximize ceo bonuses.

# ¿ Feb 11, 2016 19:24

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

ufarn posted:

it's so loving hard to keep up with the clusterfucks at alphabet

http://www.statnews.com/2016/03/28/google-life-sciences-exodus/

lol. they hosed up. nobody in healthcare works more than like 45 hours a week.

# ¿ Mar 28, 2016 20:34

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

Shinku ABOOKEN posted:

how much of a loving worm do you have to be to put up with that kind of poo poo

i would understand if it were some uneducated no-hopers but these "people" have degrees, skills, work experience and such

until recently google and the other big fish in tech were complicit in preventing employees from jumping between each other, so probably they feared that theyd be unable to find a new job without taking an enormous pay cut.

# ¿ Mar 28, 2016 21:16

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

PleasureKevin posted:

i updated http://didgoogleshutdown.com with nest, boston dynamics and verily.

it's deploying right now

wait do you manually update all that stuff? like, whats the point of that?

# ¿ Mar 31, 2016 21:07

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

PleasureKevin posted:

end capitalism

emptyquotin pleasurekevin and not pleased about it

# ¿ Apr 23, 2016 08:33

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

duTrieux. posted:

yeah man i love it when i make a mistake but the program auto-saves it and then overwrites the cloud copies before i can tell it to stop

use openvms so the previous version still exists within the filesystem

may or may not be a serious suggestion

# ¿ May 8, 2016 05:28

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

Cybernetic Vermin posted:

it is some kind of comment on the nature of modern man if people on the regular invite people out to eat with no thought in their head about what or where to eat beyond a broad category, letting google make all decisions beyond that

i assume that the next version will just have you type "lunhc!=??" and an uber pulls up with people randomly invited from your google+ and drives you to a gas station for their famous tuna wrap

wtf are you talking about, its totally normal to be bored and text a friend to say "hey, got nothing going on, wanna grab a bite?"

# ¿ May 19, 2016 15:51

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

the death of arcades makes me sad because i cant find a ddr or pump it up machine anywhere within 75 miles of where i live, and theres nowhere in my house with room to set up a metal pad. i lost 100 pounds playing that poo poo in college.

# ¿ May 20, 2016 19:14

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

Mr Dog posted:

ddr a is (supposedly) coming out in the usa in a month or so, see if there's a dave n busters nearby that has it

downside: having to go to dave n busters

the one and only time i went to a dave and busters i destroyed a new rug with uncontrollable torrents of vomit 2 hours later

# ¿ May 20, 2016 21:13

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

PleasureKevin posted:

lol, i kinda want to report this for laughs, but i think smythe's style would be to probe me for being a basic baby bitch for that

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ¿ May 25, 2016 19:34

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

KidVanguard posted:

i don't understand steve jobs approach to computer games. games were pretty integral to the popularity of the apple ii and a big reason kids got into computing and programming. but the macintosh abandoned games and the developers and was even actively hostile towards some of them (id). it was very easy for microsoft to swoop in and take that segment.

games are super popular on iOS too so i don't get way jobs hated games so much on his beloved mac.

jobs was very clearly obsessed with image. look at the way he carefully constructed an image for himself personally. he wanted to do the same thing with his computers. for a long time apple had this carefully cultivated image as the machine for serious, adult creatives like digital artists, photographers, editors, etc. putting a children's diversion like video games on that platform would taint the image. being seen with a mac should mean to people that you are a talented and professional creator of content.

then at some point steve finally realized that he could sell a billion computers by just making them look sexier than pc laptops and now everyone has macbooks, but all the resources of advancing gaming tech were already focused on PC so at this point devs arent particularly motivated to port poo poo over since anyone who can afford a macbook probably has a console and will just by that version of their game.

# ¿ Jun 1, 2016 15:47

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

just noticed kevins avatar is clickable. i lomarfed but then i realized its actually pretty mean to the aids victims.

# ¿ Jun 11, 2016 02:57

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

got sick of having my old (deadname) email account staring at me from my anroid every day. google, 5 years after the first time someone asked for it on their support forum, still has not added the ability to transfer your play store account to a new email address.

# ¿ Jul 8, 2016 05:13

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

lol, its also so obvious they just made google takeout because some regulatory body yelled at them for not letting users download their data, because they provide no way whatsoever to import the archive back into another account. the help for it basically says "gently caress you transfer your poo poo manually".

it took our it people literally 5 minutes to transfer all my ad and exchange data to a new domain account. google cant even transfer my dumb google keep notes.

# ¿ Jul 8, 2016 05:33

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

hobbesmaster posted:

this is because by the time you finish the upload some of those google services will have been discontinued

lomarf

# ¿ Jul 8, 2016 05:51

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

you just don't understand their advanced strategy of no steps forward two steps back

# ¿ Jul 13, 2016 22:07

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

google fi added uscellular so im probably gonna switch because i can get the same level of signal without the lovely contract structure, ftw

# ¿ Jul 15, 2016 15:46

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

Sagebrush posted:

everyone who grew up in the 1990s and had a little sister knows what that thing is.

dont be so heteronormative, boys liked sailor moon too

# ¿ Jul 29, 2016 04:36

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

Progressive JPEG posted:

chrome's constant ui bikeshedding got me back on ff despite the latter being slower

its all google products, and the worst thing is that other companies see them as a trendsetter so every time they schizoleap to a new design language everyone falls over themselves to try to make their applications match.

# ¿ Jul 29, 2016 16:44

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

people underestimate trump in that way. his use of language is very deliberate: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_aFo_BV-UzI

# ¿ Aug 8, 2016 16:36

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

the fastest internets available in my area is 50/1 from charter but their reliability is loving poo poo so uverse's 30/2 is the best you can get. i live in envy of major metros that get >1gb connections. we didnt even have that when i lived in milwaukee.

# ¿ Aug 10, 2016 19:20

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

cremnob posted:

https://twitter.com/SamsungSupport/status/767826907656179712

theres literally am app on my sarnsung whose only job is to put a notification in ur tray to nag u you to reboot every few days. if u disable it the phone becomes trapped in a bootloop until you pull the battery. the app is then reenabled during startup.

# ¿ Aug 22, 2016 22:57

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

my wallet has 4 zipper compartments, 20 card slots, and is cute and pinku. i can fit a change of jewelry, spare makeup, and all the poo poo u guys have in urs too. it owns.

# ¿ Aug 24, 2016 00:14

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

my stepdads beer posted:

thats a purse

no, a purse is a bag. this goes inside my purse.

# ¿ Aug 24, 2016 14:08

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

graph posted:

starbucks is disgusting burned garbage

ya but they bathrooms is clean as gently caress and im just gonna get some froofy-rear end sugar bullshit where i cant taste the coffee anyway. ill take that all over some indie coffee house thats covered in hippie sharts any day.

# ¿ Aug 30, 2016 15:04

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

carry on then posted:

you live in wisconsin

you should know that as a goon i am so profoundly large that most of my mass actually resides in extradimensional z-space

# ¿ Aug 30, 2016 15:25

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

graph posted:

when we have big meetings every couple of months or so theyll get starbucks and it is just wild how loving disgusting and undrinkable it is

it literally doesnt matter because nobody drinks starbucks like regular coffee (eg to enjoy it), they blast it away with simple syrup and flavored creamer until its a pale beige color and mainline it straight down their mouth holes to sate their dire caffeine and sugar addictions for another hour

# ¿ Aug 30, 2016 16:52

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

ahmeni posted:

the only thing worse than starbucks is people who talk about starbucks

code:

;ROU COFFEE
talkAbout(coffee)
   s coffee="f  d  w "_coffee
   x coffee
q

code:

COFFEE> d talkAbout^COFFEE("starbucks")

# ¿ Aug 30, 2016 17:20

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

the worst coffee i had was when we visited boston. we didnt know that the place basically shuts down on sunday (and at night) so when were wandering around on a chilly, drizzly sunday morning the only place we could find to get warm drinks was a dunkin donuts. i just ordered "coffee with cream" and what they handed me was nearly white it had so much cream in it. then they kicked us out because it was 5 to noon and they were about to close. boston was weird.

# ¿ Aug 30, 2016 19:21

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

Endless Mike posted:

google ditching the nexus name and standard android and licening touchwiz from samsung since that's what people actually buy

http://m.androidcentral.com/end-nexus-2016-google-phones-forge-new-path

lol, does this mean literally just using touchwiz wholesale or just licensing the look and feel? cuz loving lol is all the actual functionality of touchwiz broken as poo poo.

# ¿ Aug 30, 2016 23:40

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

PleasureKevin posted:

i assure you it's bad

wtf kind of cracker rear end suburban poo poo is a great room and a sun room? gently caress this router, it doesnt work in my solarium

# ¿ Sep 1, 2016 04:32

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

Progressive JPEG posted:

the offices on the main part of the mountain view campus are now so crowded that they break sanitation laws, so a bunch of them have trailers set up outside with portapotties on em

lol. and then everyone wonders why i "hamper my career" by staying at the place that gives me a private office and, say, human dignity

# ¿ Sep 4, 2016 01:15

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ May 14, 2024 09:55

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

seriously all my memories of being in a cubicle or "open floor plan" environment were so dehumanizing. the whole experience is designed to make you feel like youre being watched at all times and your coworkers totally police you for kissass points if it looks like youre ever not doing work ever which leads to tedious soul-destroying hours of trying to look busy when theres nothing to do, all the while constantly feeling like there might be someone over your shoulder.

whoever mainstreamed the modern office environment was a god damned sociopath.

# ¿ Sep 4, 2016 05:45

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > google: dad I hate myself and this phone is garbage

«‹›5 »