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MrUnderbridge
Jun 25, 2011

Chitin posted:

I once saw a strand up act where the comic pulled a shaker, a bottle of OJ, a bottle of vodka, and a glass out of her bra and made herself a screwdriver while doing her act.

I wish I could remember who it was.

Well, on the HBO Pee-Wee's Playhouse (his stage show), Miss Yvonne kept pulling things out of her cleavage. One of the final ones was a full sized cam of hairspray.

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MrUnderbridge
Jun 25, 2011

moist turtleneck posted:

There's no way I wouldn't accidentally spray it during a midnight pee

Text/username combo.

And for God's sake, man! If that's an issue, sit down!

MrUnderbridge
Jun 25, 2011

Hmm. Just doesn't have that public bathroom feel without the floor being awash with the urine of others.

MrUnderbridge
Jun 25, 2011

Yeah, that's so much easier than, I dunno, making a quick slice with a knife.

But let's face it, that device isn't for making a hot dog bun for you to eat...:newfap:

MrUnderbridge
Jun 25, 2011

KozmoNaut posted:

Once again, the US are severely behind the times.

In civilized countries, the bread is pre-drilled for your convenience.



Is it time for a circumcision derail?

MrUnderbridge
Jun 25, 2011

Sir Lemming posted:

I'm gonna cut you off right there

Waaaaay too late for that, buddy.

MrUnderbridge
Jun 25, 2011

Deodorant chat: Arrid XXTra Dry. Comes in unscented, the regular doesn't have an overwhelming smell, and it will work for more than a day in emergencies. It does have wax, so it can eventually leave stuff on your clothes pits.

Personally, I hate over scented things, especially fake smells that were created in a lab and don't smell like anything real. I prefer cedar scented soaps, because I've never found a "fresh" smell anywhere in nature. Seriously, what the hell is that supposed to smell like? I know the companies ran a bunch of smells past test groups and asked "Which one smells like the concept of 'fresh'?" The only concept that has a smell is depression, which smells like an esoteric French cheese shop.

MrUnderbridge
Jun 25, 2011

Is this the Australian woman? She's doing good work. She's actually doing the things suggested as they are shown, and they really don't work.

The best one has to be the sneaker whitening one where you can see the sizes printed on the before and after - and they're different.

MrUnderbridge
Jun 25, 2011

The thing is time. 99% evaporates faster, so it may not have time to work. If you, say, put it in a zip lock bag and let whatever stew in that it will definitely work.

As for drinkable stuff, 151 rum is the closest you'll get to 70%. Most liquors are well under 50%.

So give it a shot or two. What have you got to lose? (Just don't inject it)

MrUnderbridge
Jun 25, 2011

% or proof?

Proof is half the percentage, so an 80 proof liquor is only 40%.

87% (174 proof) seems awfully high for any liqueur.

MrUnderbridge
Jun 25, 2011

If you can get it. My state and the ones around it limit proof to 151.

But I did pick up a gallon of 190 Everclear on vacation last summer.

MrUnderbridge
Jun 25, 2011

Blue Footed Booby posted:

I don't particularly care for eggs.

But think of your species' survival!

MrUnderbridge
Jun 25, 2011

WITCHCRAFT posted:



El sueño de la razón produce monstruos
The sleep of reason produces monsters

That cat needs to get off its lazy rear end and loving do something about those goddamned owls!


Also, 5 minute crafts is a click bait driven scam to get eyeballs on vids, whether what's on the vids actually work or not. There is an Australian woman who has done some of their "hacks" and most are complete bullshit and done in a content farm in Eastern Europe. She also did some digging and they run a whole slew of similar sites that all exist just to trick people into views.

MrUnderbridge
Jun 25, 2011

Went to a local theater where Something Rotten was being put on. The theater manager came out right before curtain and gave the cell phone spiel followed by "If you have any snacks, please open them now. No, I'm serious, do it now before the performance."

MrUnderbridge
Jun 25, 2011

moist turtleneck posted:

Did you wear a glove when you did it? I feel like I'd shave my finger tips when I wasn't dropping the potato

Done that. I have a permanently white spot on my left ring fingertip from zipping off a pretty deep chunk.

MrUnderbridge
Jun 25, 2011

drat. There aren't many meals I make that don't have onion in them. And I cook at least five time a week.

My wife went on the fodmap thing for a while, but it turned out to be fiber that riled her ibs. I was very relieved!

MrUnderbridge
Jun 25, 2011

Yeah, her doctor kept telling her to eat more fiber for constipation, and she kept getting worse. Slowed down the fiber consumption and her symptoms eased.

Any time she has something high in fiber she has a flare-up.

Unlike standard IBS, she has IBS-C.

Bodies are weird.

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MrUnderbridge
Jun 25, 2011

An old poor person trick was to get ketchup packets and those mini half and half tubs and make cream of tomato soup. Kinda.

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