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Florida Man is great for these. Side note: isn't Terez Owens the sports version of Perez Hilton?  
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Nov 3, 2014 03:05
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corax posted:Small-town newspaper police blotter sections are always good fun. I worked for my college newspaper (and still get a free subscription because I was editor-in-chief), and the Security Briefs are always a highlight, although never that detailed. This year they've had three cases of somebody watching porn in the student center--on weeknights, when people are usually there studying or doing work. The first one was specified as "anime porn (hentai)." There's a long history of student harassment from townies driving on the main drag through campus, usually calling people human being or throwing stuff at students.. My favorite of all-time was "Suspect threw lollipop at victim from passing car; reported 11 hours later."
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Nov 3, 2014 14:28
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Nov 4, 2014 14:45
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canyoneer posted:The news last night had a story about two trick-or-treaters hit by a car. The video feed showed two huge boats that had crashed into a bridge. The newsreader was going through the story and says, barely pausing, "I think we have the wrong video". Or child obesity is getting really bad.
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Nov 6, 2014 00:20
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This was a plot point in a Curb Your Enthusiasm episode, except I think it was on the gravestone.
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Nov 26, 2014 23:28
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Centripetal Horse posted:No, it was in the obituary. That screenshot is actually from Curb Your Enthusiasm. Ah, you're right. The episode I'm thinking of involves an angry engraver putting "Mother of Larry David, rear end in a top hat and swan killer."
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Nov 27, 2014 07:09
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I think it's supposed to mean "don't be a jerk" and they tried to make it a verb.
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Dec 14, 2014 15:47
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pookel posted:Things you never, ever type into your dummy text box, even without intending to print a proof, even as a joke for a coworker ... And they misspelled "for" to boot.
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Dec 16, 2014 22:54
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walrusman posted:Lemme guess, part of an article called "28 Pictures That Prove We Live in a Rape Culture?" That's not really what Deadspin does. Also it's funny.
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Dec 28, 2014 18:47
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Bug Bill Murray posted:Bear Attacks, Rapes Zookeeper That's an Onion article that for some reason is no longer on the website.
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Jan 23, 2015 15:22
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Owls are assholes.
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Feb 7, 2015 03:09
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"He had this one ho, she was pulling guns out of her pussy. poo poo was unseemly."
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Mar 8, 2015 16:15
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Istari posted:Not so ridiculous, but it made me laugh: This seems more like a medical advancement than a sexual one.
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Mar 15, 2015 16:38
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Six Feet Under really had to stretch for some of those opening scenes late in its run.
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Apr 9, 2015 19:39
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That lede is amazing too.
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Apr 14, 2015 15:09
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The Mentalizer posted:I'd never seen this before and it's funny as hell. This holiday is incredible
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Apr 29, 2015 04:50
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swampland posted:Counter point: Johnny Depp And Julia Louis-Dreyfus
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May 13, 2015 03:30
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I preferred Deadspin's take on this, which was "This Old Motherfucker Named Carl Punched the poo poo Out of a Bear"
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May 30, 2015 04:44
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quote:He returned to his flat and barricaded the door after they called the police and he was involved in a stand-off before he had to be Tasered twice, with police worried they would hit his colostomy bag. quote:Salter-Bromley exposed himself and spread excrement and urine in Hull's Wilson centre in the main reception and toilets and he was given an Asbo for a string of nuisance calls to emergency services. quote:"He said in the bus incident the woman admitted she had not felt threatened. The knife was only a butter knife, which was blunt and only slightly serrated," he said. "His physical state is poor. He once tried to kill himself and broke his back. 
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Jun 24, 2015 15:07
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Karma Monkey posted:I like how the article had a photo of Dr. Who with a Dalek in case you needed to be reminded of what that looked like before imagining an angry dwarf spitting dominoes and screaming "EXTERMINATE!" It really added a lot to the piece. I like that it's the Peter Capaldi Doctor so I can imagine Malcolm Tucker screaming at a dwarf with a mouth full of dominoes
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Jun 24, 2015 19:30
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Wanamingo posted:How's that happen, anyway? I'd think it was a browser extension that changes gate to fart, but if that were the case then it seems like it'd be investifartd. Started typing investigated, made some sort of typo that led to backspacing up to "investi," phone thought a new word was starting and corrected "gated" to "farted" after hitting a couple of wrong buttons. That's my guess.
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Jul 19, 2015 14:45
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Mulva posted:I don't think so; but there was a case where a court determined that they can lie, since calling yourself news doesn't mean you have to tell the truth. This is how Chinese media absolved themselves from fault after reporting an Onion story as real.
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Aug 3, 2015 14:17
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Fight breaks out in Birmingham over Kid Rock conversation. Kid Rock is currently wrapping up a 10-night stand in my hometown (where he lives). I hate Kid Rock. This is some of why I hate him.
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Aug 21, 2015 20:05
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Someone Awful! posted:
This needs the video. The "Enterprise" flies into the Jayhawk's mouth. http://www.sbnation.com/2015/9/5/9267713/kansas-state-bands-halftime-show-sure-looks-like-a-jayhawk-performing
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Sep 10, 2015 01:53
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Clochette posted:You guys ever read the letters to the editor? They're great. (Maybe NWS)
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Sep 16, 2015 15:00
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Big Beaver Road in metro-Detroit is Exit 69 off of I-75.
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Oct 3, 2015 14:25
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CJacobs posted:You can ride elephants in Far Cry 4? :o It loving owns
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Nov 10, 2015 02:07
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cyberia posted:If I haven't played the other Far Cry games should I start at 4 or get the other ones first? It's the only one I've played and it's one of the most fun games I've ever experienced
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Nov 10, 2015 04:21
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Cythereal posted:3 is fun if you can ignore the game's less-than-subtle theme that you the player are a callous bastard for enjoying the game. That's ultimately the theme of 4 as well.
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Nov 10, 2015 18:34
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Oh man, I got to copy-edit an amazing police blotter from the west suburbs of Chicago this week. All of these were real reports from the same town: quote:-A man told a preschool teacher he wanted to eat the children at Grace Lutheran Church, 200 N. Catherine Ave., it was reported at 7:26 a.m. Nov. 10. Police weren’t able to locate the man.
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Nov 19, 2015 15:54
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Yeah, it doesn't really compare to stubbed toe guy, but it is strange.
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Nov 19, 2015 16:12
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spog posted:
Is there a joke behind "Grauniad" or is this the British newspaper equivalent of a Rivals.com pun?
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Jan 24, 2016 15:11
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The film career equivalent of Bob Saget's standup.
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Jan 28, 2016 02:39
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Wheat Loaf posted:Oh, I've no doubt that they're completely sincere, but apparently some people are outraged by it and think it's trolling. Hitchens wasn't nearly the rear end in a top hat that Dawkins is though.
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Feb 13, 2016 19:27
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I'm assuming this is about Kawhi Leonard's freakish hands.
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Feb 20, 2016 18:39
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https://twitter.com/charlesapple/status/711293719375249408 https://twitter.com/olenskae/status/711255046076370945
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Mar 19, 2016 22:02
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That kid should respect a loving burn when he hears it
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Mar 19, 2016 23:51
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Collateral Damage posted:The Swedish liberal party announced their new logo. I see they're into Loss jokes as well
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Apr 23, 2016 15:15
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Panic! at Nabisco posted:The amount of space between the guy's floated headshot and the actual text kind of hurts me Yeah I'm as bothered by the design as I am by them forgetting to put the story in.
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Apr 24, 2016 14:12
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Most pet stores I've been to sell things like fish, lizards and rodents. They also might host an adoption event for cats and dogs.
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Apr 27, 2016 13:31
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