We love the StarWars EU this much *outstretched arms nailed to Luu'uks X-Wing*

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Name Change: Oct 9, 2005

A large subplot of his book revolved around him trying to date-rape Leia using his pheromones.

E: There's also a chapter where Vader and Xizor debate the ethics and efficacy of Imperial sociology in front of the Emperor.

# ¿ Dec 10, 2014 23:27

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# ¿ May 15, 2024 16:18

Name Change: Oct 9, 2005

Present posted:

The guy that played Darth Maul was their actual movie fight choreographer or something like that so that's why all his fights were super sweet.

Best part of Episode One. Not like that is saying much.

Yeah that's Ray Park, who does a lot of fight choreography-heavy roles and started as a stunt double.

# ¿ Dec 12, 2014 17:49

Name Change: Oct 9, 2005

pentyne posted:

My entire experience with the EU ending was me reading about it here, feeling bummed out for a night, and checking out the last book released in the series after not touching any EU books for 8 years.

After reading the last 20 pages of Crucible I was laughing so hard I couldn't even see. What the EU was to me as a child was a engaging series of books and comics where I could read about the lives of my favorite characters and their kids. What the EU became in the last decade was a complete joke of a franchise that no one at LucasArts really gave a poo poo about and just authorized contracts and deals to people on the basis that the original cast was untouchable and past that anything was possible.

I'd really love to see an interview with the LucasArts people and the writing staff involved with the very first NJO book where Chewbacca died where they had a meeting and worked out exactly what they were allowed to do, how Chewbacca had to die, etc. That seems to be the very last time the LA editorial staff exerted any influence over the EU novel process.

It's easy to call the EU itself kinda stupid, and it is. But it's also designed largely for "young adults" and to evangelize the brand. Even when I was a teen I knew some or most of the books were bad (The Crystal Star, one of the most boring books I've ever read), but some of it was fun at the time. The plot to Darksaber is ridiculous, and then there's Bossk's coming-of-age story where he has to eat his dad because he's too old. Crazy bounty hunters are essentially the coolest thing about the setting other than Jedi.

The really dumb poo poo comes from the people who can't let it go and instead make it part of their ego. At the shallow end, people don't realize that the supposedly "best" stuff (Thrawn trilogy) is just as dumb as anything. It took like five posts in this thread for someone to tear Thrawn apart, but I don't know how many years in a row I would hear someone say they should film that crap. At the deep end, "childhoods" are "destroyed" when a studio announces they are not following the plot of 200 really lovely tie-in books and comics.

Probably the only really good things to come out of the "EU" are a small handful of video games. As far as I know that's basically:

-KOTOR 1 and patched KOTOR 2
-Battlefront 2
-The Jedi Knight Series (Academy still has an active lightsaber duel server population)
-X-Wing Vs. TIE Fighter
-Lego STAR WARS, still by far the best Lego game, for whatever that's worth
-The first level of The Force Unleashed, after that the game becomes progressively less fun
-Some people like Republic Commando, I thought it was poo poo

...And that's about it.

# ¿ Dec 13, 2014 00:06

Name Change: Oct 9, 2005

As the movies touch on, there is a Sith rule where there is one Master and one Apprentice.

In keeping with this rule, the apprentice Darth Vader had twelve sub-apprentices.

Antinnis Tremayne (Dark Jedi)[15]
Halmere (Dark Jedi)[15]
Lanu Pasiq (Dark Jedi)[15]
Gwellib Ap-Llewff (Dark Jedi)[15]
Galen Marek (secret Sith apprentice)[16]
Dark Apprentice (secret Sith apprentice)[17]
Kharys (Dark Jedi)[18]
Vost Tyne (Dark Jedi)[19]
Hethrir (Dark Jedi)[20]
Rillao (Dark Jedi)[20]
Lumiya (secret Sith apprentice)[21]
Flint (secret Sith apprentice)[22]

That's a lot more than the zero he should have had, and far outpaces the Emperor, who had only eight besides the ones that show up in the movies (for a total of eleven).

"A Nikto"[15]
Vergere[16]
Garth Ezzar[17]
Ferus Olin (informal)[18]
Mara Jade[19]
Cronal[20]
Lumiya[21]
Luke Skywalker (Briefly)[4]

Lumiya shows up in both.

I'm not going to bother trying to figure out how many apprentices each kept up simultaneously.

# ¿ Dec 13, 2014 04:48

Name Change: Oct 9, 2005

Frostwerks posted:

did anyone ever play the tcg. seemed complicated as gently caress

I played the Decipher one in high school. When I stopped playing it was broken in favor of rebels because you could just move your fleet around faster than the Empire could catch you, and cause damage by "force draining" (forcing your opponent to put cards in the graveyard) places your opponent wasn't at. If you ignored force draining rules, rebels were still stronger.

From Wikipedia:

quote:

While Decipher oversaw the game, no card was ever banned from tournament play. Instead, when a card or strategy was deemed abusive or too powerful, Decipher chose to release "magic bullets," new cards which were specifically designed to counter the offending strategy. In some cases, Decipher also used errata, modifications to game text of a card that supersede the actual printed version. The use of errata also contributes to a steep learning curve, since players need to be aware of the current meta-game at all times.

This is really bad design by the way.

Name Change fucked around with this message at 09:39 on Dec 13, 2014

# ¿ Dec 13, 2014 09:36

Name Change: Oct 9, 2005

The clone wars cartoon was pretty awesome, the CGI show turned me off by the middle of the first episode.

# ¿ Dec 15, 2014 05:19

Name Change: Oct 9, 2005

It's good to know the outnumbered heroic rebels could have just straight up won a direct confrontation with the Empire's main battle group the entire time.

~~my childhood!~~

# ¿ Dec 15, 2014 06:14

Name Change: Oct 9, 2005

SaltLick posted:

so how many people were plotting to kill jabba exactly and why was it finally done by a girl in a skimpy two piece?

It's really hard to take out an immobile croissant with eyes (who is none the less the most powerful gangster in the galaxy).

# ¿ Dec 15, 2014 06:56

Name Change: Oct 9, 2005

ManMythLegend posted:

Return of the Jedi was better than The Empire Strikes Back.

There's really nothing wrong with either film and both are noticeably better than Star Wars.

# ¿ Dec 15, 2014 14:38

Name Change: Oct 9, 2005

The Mentalizer posted:

OH COME ON

http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Mofference

To be fair, this is considered bad and not really official continuity even by the EU nerds.

# ¿ Dec 16, 2014 00:51

Name Change: Oct 9, 2005

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

Complicated ranking system for determining which nerd hadith are 'real' and which aren't, and the caring about thereof, are far dumber than any Mofference.

Technically it's real but the EU Council of Elders basically retconned it all to "never happened" status because the writer went off the reservation. As opposed to Pheremone Date Rape Guy, whose storyline was the focus of a massive marketing push with a video game and everything.

Oh, I did forget a certain series of video games that I'm glad happened earlier:

SUPER STAR WARS

Vaguely follow the plot of the first three movies, meeting all the cast of characters who incidentally appeared, and slaughter them. It's one of the better Super Nintendo games. Also the bottom of the sand crawler has a lava monster that kidnapped R2D2. You know, whatever.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bb39BV6Gs40&t=1030s

Super Star Wars was fairly challenging but I never beat Super Return of the Jedi because escaping out of the exploding Death Star was just about impossible, so in my Official Super Star Wars continuity, the black guy dies at the end. I never got Super Empire Strikes Back but I hear Darth Vader was similarly difficult.

# ¿ Dec 16, 2014 02:21

Name Change: Oct 9, 2005

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oQljzQ_FpUE

# ¿ Dec 16, 2014 05:21

Name Change: Oct 9, 2005

Wolfsheim posted:

While you're joking, there is an EU story where Luke has to return to Hoth years later for some reason and meets up with that very same wampa, who both remembers him and seeks revenge

There's a weird interlude in one of the books (I think this is what you're talking about) where he gets stuck on Hoth with some disposable characters and they proceed to have a survival horror bit, since it turns out there are dozens of wampas on Hoth (surviving on what existing ecology in an endless tundra we'll never know) and the original one-armed wampa has organized them to kill anyone they find in the abandoned rebel base. Luke has to FINISH THE JOB

Edit: There's also a Battlefront II level where you can play wampas vs. rebels and the rebels have no chance of victory

# ¿ Dec 19, 2014 20:59

Name Change: Oct 9, 2005

door Door door posted:

Yep, that's right. The force only works on someone as long as you speak the same language. That makes sense. Great job, EU.

This is from an RPG, so in general the character exists to appear momentarily and then get killed.

# ¿ Dec 20, 2014 02:16

Name Change: Oct 9, 2005

lol the part of Jar Jar's Wookieepedia entry that covers everything after the prequels is three paragraphs long and is basically "Jar Jar was definitely alive but did nothing ever again"

# ¿ Dec 26, 2014 12:28

Name Change: Oct 9, 2005

PostNouveau posted:

Does the people in the EU ever get to Earth? How long is "a long time ago"? Tell me a Jedi built the pyramids with his force powers.

http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Earth_(planet)

I got bored about a paragraph into reading this because I couldn't parse what the gently caress they were talking about in any given sentence.

# ¿ Dec 28, 2014 23:32

Name Change: Oct 9, 2005

There is no such thing as a good or worthwhile fan edit.

# ¿ Dec 29, 2014 06:15

Name Change: Oct 9, 2005

I try to use CD for what it's for, but every thread turns into SMG (and endless SMG cheerleaders) shouting over people who think time travel is real.

# ¿ Dec 30, 2014 21:59

Name Change: Oct 9, 2005

Gammatron 64 posted:

All the reactions to the new star wars trailer are pretty drat funny. It's just a bunch of little clips of star wars things with no context. I saw it and was like "welp that sure looks like a star wars movie"

Some people started screaming in excitement which is loving weird because you know we've seen x-wings and the falcon and stormtroopers before, we pretty much know nothing about the new movie and the last 3 were poo poo so I dunno why you'd have very high expectations

Also funny was people trying to find something to complain about, like the lightsaber, the ball droid or a black stormtrooper

Uh... uh.... I gotta find a way to say the new star wars is totally gonna suck! Yeah, the lightsaber's dumb! Movie is gonna suck because the crossguard on the weightless laser sword that can cut through anything is totally impractical and dangerous

All in all it was a really bad trailer because the lightsaber was literally all there was to talk about.

# ¿ Dec 30, 2014 23:23

Name Change: Oct 9, 2005

Hingehead posted:

If anyone want to see a much better fan edit of the prequel trilogy, here it is. There are cuts and paces that feels distracted and badly paced while some scenes and deleted scenes should have been kept.

Now the Pros :

Kid Anakin & Teenage Anakin is not annoying, whiny little bitch. I was amazed how stoic and collective he appeared to be just by cutting out the craps that made him look like poo poo.

NO 3P0 throughout the trilogy, no stupid retarded head swap battle droid sequence.

Yoda does not fight until the end of ROTS

No cringe worthy love stories and dialogue

You won' t feel ashamed watching Attack of the Clone.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nXL1agXVeuo

Unfortunately my eyes still turned glassy when the opening crawl mentioned "interstellar commerce taxation."

Fan edits are basically just nerds having their fun, they don't salvage anything.

# ¿ Dec 31, 2014 02:41

Name Change: Oct 9, 2005

quote:

tell me about non-force users using lightsabers. Does it happen much? Is it at all cool or funny?

Yes, no, maybe.

# ¿ Dec 31, 2014 08:43

Name Change: Oct 9, 2005

Neurosis posted:

grievous was a non-jedi wasn't he

He was injected with Jedi blood by mad scientists.

# ¿ Dec 31, 2014 09:06

Name Change: Oct 9, 2005

Jace Madan posted:

Not only that, but it was Jedi master Sifo-Dyas' (yes, THAT Sifo-Dyas) blood. But it didn't work, so no force for Grievous.

I had always assumed that the plot point about Sifo-Dyas in Episode II was clearly intended as "Someone impersonating Sifo-Dyas [SIDIOUS] placed the order." Of course the EU then ran with this Sifo-Dyas character, who is never seen on-screen, and created an incomprehensible and awful backstory for him.

Fake Edit: Yeah I was right:

quote:

In early drafts of Attack of the Clones, the name of the Jedi who contacted the Kaminoans was Sido-Dyas, pointing to a likely early conceptual connection to Darth Sidious. However, interestingly, "Sifo-Dyas" appears in one place, apparently as a typing mistake (as the D and F letters are located next to each other on a QWERTY keyboard) that Lucas later preferred to the original name.[11]

In addition, "Sido-Dyas" was originally only a false identity for Sidious�Obi-Wan Kenobi claimed never to have heard of him, and Mace Windu confirmed that there was no Jedi by that name.[11]

His backstory was promised by George Lucas to be revealed in Revenge of the Sith,[12] but instead was explained in the lead-in novel Labyrinth of Evil.

# ¿ Dec 31, 2014 09:21

Name Change: Oct 9, 2005

Hingehead posted:

Hay guyz, I created for new charactersm wat u think?

Darth Cader

Here have 70,000 words:

http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Darth_Caedus

# ¿ Dec 31, 2014 21:58

Name Change: Oct 9, 2005

gohuskies posted:

That's why I suspect/hope that midichlorians may have been a troll by Lucas of Wookiepedia editors/EU authors rather than just retarded. The EU ruins so much of the mystery and wonder of the universe Lucas created by over-explaining everything, so Lucas says gently caress you all, I'm going to give a stupid over-explanation to the one thing left you can't ruin, the force.

SMG thinks that all the prequel episodes are a direct response to fanwankery, even though there exists video evidence (and mounds of other material, because because Star Wars is the most closely-watched nerd subject in history) making it very clear that they were just incompetent all the way down. The reaction shots of the production team members' eyes glazed over in horror after the first screening of Episode I is incredible.

# ¿ Dec 31, 2014 22:03

Name Change: Oct 9, 2005

Groovelord Neato posted:

That was a point I tried to make in the thread. I said even if you don't think the prequels are bad Star Wars (they are, but lots of people over there try to defend it) they are just bad films. Hell, SMG - the guy whose best posts were pointing out how horribly framed shots are in the Avengers actually defended poo poo like shot-reverse shot. It just seems like everyone in there is trolling when you bring up totally objective film making complaints (framing, editing, dialogue, etc) and they still defend the movies.

Just stay out of CD, it's a mistake I keep making and it's never worth it

# ¿ Dec 31, 2014 22:09

Name Change: Oct 9, 2005

oohhboy posted:

Just watched Star Wars Rebel's first episode. It is hot garbage. Never again.

There is a pink Boba Fett, this makes it good

# ¿ Jan 2, 2015 09:51

Name Change: Oct 9, 2005

Mr.Pibbleton posted:

The ones done by the Samurai Jack people? Those are pretty good.

The cartoon is amazing, although it couldn't really save Anakin and Padme from being terrible characters. Every episode not involving them is great and even the ones with them are OK.

# ¿ Jan 2, 2015 23:50

Name Change: Oct 9, 2005

shiksa posted:

the star wars clone wars movie is very bad, is the series a lot different from it?

The Clone Wars movie has little to do with the cartoon, the latter being perhaps the best Star Wars show to come out since the actual original movies.

# ¿ Jan 3, 2015 00:42

Name Change: Oct 9, 2005

burritolingus posted:

Somehow missed the Boba Fett talk.

Boba's deal was that he outsmarted Han Solo. Han does his clever trick where he pretends to be trash and it fools the Empire and everybody else but not Boba. Boba figures out where he will go, gets there first (bringing Vader along), catches Han and takes him away. Han was just about everyone's favorite character and Boba was a step ahead of him. He has cool armor and a jetpack and doesn't say a whole lot.

Jedi totally punks Boba but there was a good wait between Empire and Jedi for hype to build up around this character people didn't know all that much about other than that he bested just about the slickest dude in the galaxy.

I would love for him to stay dead but the problem with that is that there is no closure with his death. It was mishandled. The ball was dropped.

Boba was about as dead as anyone gets in this PG-rated movie series. I mean sure he has a mystique to him (He disintegrates people! He's a little too hardcore for Darth Vader!), but when you stop to pay attention the EU also brings everybody else back to life for increasingly lame stories too. And outside of a few cameos in video games, Boba really only shows up in the books, which range from bad to awful.

It's OK though, what really killed the character beyond dead was the prequels. Now with the rest of the EU he is truly dead (until they bring him back for an Episode VII cameo because if there's one thing Abrams can't resist, it's fanservice).

# ¿ Jan 8, 2015 16:29

Name Change: Oct 9, 2005

Return of the Jedi is awesome and anyone who doesn't like it is an rear end in a top hat.

# ¿ Jan 9, 2015 06:02

Name Change: Oct 9, 2005

Milky Moor posted:

the cd thread is the worst thread in the history of CD

The worst ever is the old Prometheus thread, which was something like 800+ pages of the same five posting superstars having the same, single argument with 3,000 posters from outside CD as they wandered into the thread. But I will grant honorable mention to a thread where first-year liberal arts majors willfully ignore documented information about films in order to theorycraft what Marx would have thought about the movie (the only metric on which movies should be judged).

# ¿ Jan 10, 2015 00:20

Name Change: Oct 9, 2005

http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Endor_Holocaust

# ¿ Jan 10, 2015 02:00

Name Change: Oct 9, 2005

david... posted:

that implies your force powers can be improved by taking a different substance like midichlorian supplements or forceroids

quote:

Author Kevin J. Anderson noted that some "politically correct" individuals at Lucasfilm almost forced Anderson to characterize spice as a "food additive" in the Jedi Search out of concern for characterizing Han as a "drug dealer" during his smuggling days. The matter was brought up to George Lucas, who confirmed that spice is a drug. Anderson compromised by adding positive qualities to the substance instead of categorizing it as a damaging substance like crystal meth. [3]

# ¿ Jan 13, 2015 01:32

Name Change: Oct 9, 2005

Lote posted:

I wonder what the bio is of the "Stay on target" guy. Probably some 5000 character bio about he's not a scrub that got waxed by a Vader Tie fighter lackey and instead some decorated war hero that turned the tide of multiple random battles against the Empire.

Also, he grew up with Han Solo / Luke Skywalker / Leia / Obi Wan.

He actually didn't really do poo poo and is one of the only characters who is just kinda there in the EU

quote:

Since at least 20 BBY,[3] the Human male[1] Davish Krail flew starfighters,[3] and over the course of his career, he fought in many engagements. He had kept the same helmet over the years, and eventually it was battered to a state that it was no longer useful. One of Krail's friends during his earlier flying years was Garven Dreis,[4] who flew with the Rarefied Air Cavalry.[5] By the time of his joining the Alliance to Restore the Republic, he was a veteran pilot,[3] and was given command of a BTL Y-wing starfighter squadron at the Alliance's base on Dantooine.[6] Also serving at the base was Krail's old friend, Dreis.[7]

With younger pilots such as Ryle Torsyn under his command,[6] Krail eventually came to be known as "Pops," since he was in his elder years while serving the Alliance.[4] He was later assigned to Jon Vander's Y-wing Gold Squadron, and flew as Vander's wingman under the call sign of "Gold 5."[3] Krail personally supervised all maintenance and repairs on his Y-wing.[8] He and his comrades were transferred[6] when the Alliance was later forced to abandon the Dantooine base and relocate to the Great Temple of Yavin 4.[1]

Liquid Dinosaur posted:

So George himself actually said something which makes sense and is good and they wanted to stop it? And had enough clout they partially did by at least saying that the illegal drugs have an effect of making you awesome and sexy?

Han Solo was a drug runner and by all accounts not a very good one.

# ¿ Jan 13, 2015 02:05

Name Change: Oct 9, 2005

Myrddin_Emrys posted:

To hopefully unweird this thread here is Vader with Kid Anakins voice:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g_H3_g9PhnM

I have no idea why there are like 10,000 of these.

# ¿ Jan 13, 2015 20:30

Name Change: Oct 9, 2005

SaltLick posted:

mace has a purple lightsaber and is actually channeling his gayness into it

Samuel asked George for a purple lightsaber. The EU transformed this into "Mace Windu uses a purple lightsaber because he is conflicted, and by the way this inner conflict makes him the greatest Jedi lightsaber master."

So far, having BMF inscribed on the hilt has not been explained.

# ¿ Jan 15, 2015 00:23

Name Change: Oct 9, 2005

Tender Bender posted:

Bothans are only mentioned once in the OT, as spies, and so in the EU Bothans are renowned for their cunning and are all spies or scheming politicians.

Also furries

# ¿ Jan 16, 2015 01:15

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# ¿ May 15, 2024 16:18

Name Change: Oct 9, 2005

Blocking force lightning is called tutaminis.

http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Tutaminis

# ¿ Jan 16, 2015 02:42

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > We love the StarWars EU this much *outstretched arms nailed to Luu'uks X-Wing*

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