fknlo posted:

seahawks are so winning this. wow

Mister Adequate posted:

God is a Seahawks fan

PaganGoatPants posted:

OH MY GOD!

Top Hats Monthly posted:

OH MY GOD

SaltLick posted:

Hahahah

Stupid Dick posted:

ITS AMAZING

Jerusalem posted:

Welp.

go3 posted:

HAHAHAHAH

Lt. Chips posted:

NO loving WAY

bondster posted:

HOLY gently caress PATRIOTS

Oh Snapple! posted:

YES

Ummagumma posted:

R.D. Mangles posted:

AWN A SCALE OF ONE TO BUCKY FACKIN' DENT THIS IS LIKE FOOAWH HELMET CATCHES THE FACKIN' FIX IS IN

penisclaw posted:

HAHAHA HOLY poo poo!

Petite Dinklage posted:

lol

triple sulk posted:

IM COMING

Winkie01 posted:

Nenonen posted:

Why don't they just build an aircraft that combines the qualities of F-35 and Osprey?

mastervj posted:

A rock?

A rock that kills marines?

Chamale posted:

26 seconds left in the Super Bowl:



5 seconds later:

lmaoboy1998 posted:

Child: wewowewowewo [crashes his toy police car into train set piece] Pow.

Me (policedefener1991 watching through window): Kid maybe you should become a policeman and spend a day handling difficult and violent ethnic minoriities in Compton and then maybe you can criticise the police for how they do their job

peter gabriel posted:

I once sprayed a ton of this:

http://www.boots.com/en/Deep-Heat-Spray-150ml_2131/

On my balls and nob when I was a kid after being hit hard in them with a football, it just made everything worse and burned like hell.

it takes a few minutes for the 'heat' to start so I just kept spraying for about 5 minutes before writhing around in agony.

My eyes were watering so much I couldn't see so I wiped them, got more Deep Heat onto my eyes and fell over and sprained my ankle

If Youtube had been around I would be a millionaire by now

abagofcheetos posted:

Carroll: hey lynch want to run it in?

Lynch: I'm just here so I don't get fined.

Carroll: ok I guess we will throw it.

THE PENETRATOR posted:

i want to know where 400 oil rigs go!!

Delsaber posted:

Turned into 400 new Sealands.

Say Nothing posted:

canis minor posted:

Cardinal Ximenez posted:

Like, the actually worst thing one of my parents did is more abstract. Some people have a hard time conceptualizing clinical depression as a real thing.

But I do have a fun story.

Context: I live in Florida. I once got sent to one of those summer day camp programs, back when I was like, 10 or 11. This year's was "Environment Camp".

Already a bad sign. I'm really sensitive to stimuli, and the outdoors in general is hard for me to tolerate under anything but near-perfect conditions. My mom knows this, but it's the whole post-90s soccer mom extracirricular activity boom and I'm sent off.

Most of the time, the "camp" was sitting around on a bus being driven to a swampy hole in the ground, getting out for two hours in blazing heat, drenching rain, or quite possibly both, and riding the way back.

One of the days was more local. It was moderately cloudy, not that hot; perhaps not utterly soul-crushing by the end of the day. We rode around on a boat through the bay, a powered barge with only shoddy wood panels to separate us from the sky. We get out at the local park on one of the countless keys which dot the Floridian coast. It's getting grey and overcast.

When it gets pretty cloudy in the summer in Florida, rain is inevitable, and very probably soon. This is a thing that you learn with almost any life experience in Florida. The captain of the boat looks a bit unnerved, and suggests going back to the marina. This does not stand with the camp counselor, and we sail on to the next destination. By this point, we can't even go under the next drawbridge, because we will clearly get soaked before the next time it opens up, so we head back to the marina...

By now, though, there's lightning nearby, and a torrent of rain. We only get to shelter under a causeway after getting sprayed with the fine mist splashing off the sea. We now have to wait out the storm, on a boat whose length is barely covered by the bridge. And I am terrified of both loud noises and electricity.

I am curled up, crying in panic for nearly an hour before the storm finally clears enough for us to get back to land.

Triticum Guzzler posted:

a group of schoolchildren led by a guide are ambling through a zoo. the most spectacular exhibit is mere feet away, and excitement grows as they near the lion enclosure. "there he is," says the guide, with a sense of apparent wonder, "the biggest pussy on earth" as he motions towards jeremy, who is crying in a corner because he thought of dogs

Triticum Guzzler posted:

a craggy faced war veteran's eyes affix far beyond the horizon. beads of sweat form on his brow. his cry, cracked lips quiver wordlessly for nearly a minute as in stark silence he mentally replays the horror he witnessed uncountable times. "mom made me go outside," he croaks

Dieting Hippo posted:

EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND OPEN PALM SLAM A DISC INTO THE SLOT. IT'S SUPER SMASH BROS MELEE AND RIGHT THEN AND THERE I START DOING THE MOVES ALONGSIDE WITH THE MAIN CHARACTER, FOX. I DO EVERY MOVE AND I DO EVERY MOVE HARD. MAKIN WHOOSHING SOUNDS WHEN I SLAM DOWN SOME MARTHS OR EVEN WHEN I MESS UP TECHNIQUE. NOT MANY CAN SAY THEY WON THE GALAXYS MOST DANGEROUS TOURNAMENT. I CAN. I SAY IT AND I SAY IT OUTLOUD EVERYDAY TO PEOPLE IN MY COLLEGE CLASS AND ALL THEY DO IS PROVE PEOPLE IN COLLEGE CLASS CAN STILL BE IMMATURE JEKRS. AND IVE LEARNED ALL THE LINES AND IVE LEARNED HOW TO MAKE MYSELF AND MY APARTMENT LESS LONELY BY SHOUTING EM ALL. 2 HOURS INCLUDING WIND DOWN EVERY MORNIng

Xander77 posted:

Someone caught a ball?

Pierson posted:

IDK if you're being ironic or not but in case you aren't the team that had possession of the ball could either:

1) Give said ball to the meanest cruelest most-unstoppable man currently they had and have him casually stroll literally a single yard to win The Big Game.

2) Do anything else and lose.

They chose 2.

Say Nothing posted:

trickybiscuits posted:

Is there a form of giving up that's more extreme than regular giving up? I want to properly describe the dejectedness of the guy in the front.

kalstrams posted:

He did a French surrender.

Ape Has Killed Ape posted:

He even drops a little white flag.

Triticum Guzzler posted:

There's a lot of hosed up and weird people, on this comedy forum website, who do not ever post jokes, do not enjoy jokes or indeed even laughing, and have coined a derogatory term for people who make jokes. They're all missionaries drawn here by the allure of the fertile lands of videos of a severely asthmatic man playing Megaman games, and interesting philosophical quandries posted by the fake PTSD guy about the nature of doors and windows in Dungeons and Dragons. They are wise men here to educate a savage, uneducated, indigenous sort. It is a sonorous, musical form of education; a greasy collective amasses on the front line of the battle against social injustice, the video game subforum on a message board that has a drop down menu that makes light of the holocaust on every single page, and sings a shrill harmony that permeates the very aether, making my pets feel unsafe, when a video game muscle man calls Catwoman a bitch. They have picked their battles well, and I note from my foxhole that I am running out of ammunition, chiefly in the form of the increasingly finite number of ways I can frame this absurd situation with the English language. I clench my fists and yell "anime" towards an uncaring, absent God, and swear solemnly to press my thumbs into Chocolate America's eyeballs until he is blinded, to directly emasculate sporting figures, to beat the poo poo out of tumblr users with baseball bats, and to quietly appreciate what Waylon Smithers being gay means to me.

Animal-Mother posted:

Captain Monkey posted:

That quote. It's the perfect summary of the forums in 2015. My god.

Triticum Guzzler posted:

It is a sonorous, musical form of education; a greasy collective amasses on the front line of the battle against social injustice, the video game subforum on a message board that has a drop down menu that makes light of the holocaust on every single page, and sings a shrill harmony that permeates the very aether, making my pets feel unsafe, when a video game muscle man calls Catwoman a bitch.

Animal-Mother posted:

Animal-Mother posted:

Small Frozen Thing posted:

chocolate america's been banned for years, so it's not that good for 2015

Pope Corky the IX posted:

Stop that, you loving tyool.

fool_of_sound posted:

The best poster on the forums.

VelociBacon posted:

Why do Asian countries have so many problems with airliners?

Lutha Mahtin posted:

most of them modeled their pilot training programs after the japanese air force

Joe the Strummer posted:

Has anyone ever done a live action take of loss.jpg? I think it would be amazing(ly terrible)

beato posted:

Yeah, Tim Buckley.

Captain Monkey posted:

That quote. It's the perfect summary of the forums in 2015. My god.

Evilreaver posted:

Like a seashell, if you put your ear to a vagina, you can smell the ocean

GOTTA STAY FAI posted:

ignore this idiot xander, he's just pimping his new gimmick

Xander77 posted:

Rude.

Tiggum posted:

So why do you keep posting links to unrelated YouTube videos at the end of every one of your posts?

FactsAreUseless posted:

They're not unrelated, you just can't see the pattern.

CzarChasm posted:

So what, if you rearrange all the thumbnails of the youtube videos he's linked it makes a giant middle finger?

FactsAreUseless posted:

It's pretty subtle, but once you see it it's obvious.

TetsuoTW posted:

On the other hand who cares?