Manifest posted:

I think we've all been there, jobless with nothing but a constituency, a stack of legislation, a van, an American flag, and a goddamn dream.

Or at least that was my initial impression. Since the campaign started, the guy has actually built his policy plan (look at the updates!), done some polling, set up his entire supply chain, and he appears to have his budget planned very well, albeit with the help of “The Communist Manifesto”. He's got a dream, man, and none of us and not even the devil himself is going to be able to stop him. Unlike a lot of crappy elections, I believe this is going to happen with or without our funding. This guy is Forrest Gump and his shrimping boat/presidential campaign might as well be built right next to the Field of Dreams. I don't mean to imply that he's an idiot, but that I admire his blind confidence and democratic faith.

I come from Hipsterville where we vote ironically, as a joke, so that other people can look at us and say "Haha. That's hilarious. Let me take an Instagram of that. Imagine if you voted and actually liked it.” So this campaign touches me in ways both mystical and nostalgic. It makes me yearn for the days when I could eat bad food unironically and wear plaid because it's warm and because lumberjacks are cool, not because I'm trying to convey some dumb hidden message. Every time you donate to Bernie, you get to become a kid again for two minutes.

The promises are hilarious, but I genuinely hate it when people get flak for "trying too hard." We badly need more people who try too hard. It's the most foolish insult to say, "I dislike you because I dislike effort." We are a generation of people who were told their entire lives by nurturing, caring, hippie parents they we are all geniuses. Every boy a wonderboy. Every child above average. But rare is a parent who doesn't care about test scores and IQs, but instead praises their kid only for trying and failing. Effort, man. Effort. That matters so much more than innate intelligence, than knowledge, than wit. You should try to do new things even when (hell, especially when) you think you will fail. This man is trying hard, with all his might, for an aspiration that isn't even lofty. It's humble man wanting for a reachable goal involving the most horrible job in the biggest city that isn’t in a state.

Yeah, I'll be damned if I'm going to dislike a guy for trying too hard. It's apparent that he has turned to crowdfunding only because he has already put every spare dollar he owns into this election. I might not believe in the superior ideas of Bernie’s platform, but I want to believe in them. And I would eat one.

Another thing is that this appears to be a very small country where the median household income is 20 grand and the most prominent restaurant is a Subway. A president, of all things, could affect real change there. It's a good story: The unfeeling internet hordes pulling together to fund a presidential campaign in Burlington, Vermont. That is something I want to be part of. “Bernie “Sanders is a name worthy of headlines. I want confused journalists to try to figure out what the gently caress happened, why it happened, and how they can possibly convey the idea of crowdfunding to their readers. It'll be like when CNN tries to explain memes. At the very least, this has the potential to make an entire country wonder about Something Awful. Someday, I would like to drive to The White House, eat a hotdog, and think of goons.

To finally answer your question about our motivations, it's definitely the third option. We are good and bad meats processed together and extruded as 6 foot tall tubes, both cynical and kind, complicated and salty. Goons are actual hotdogs. I pledged $25 for both entertainment and charity. If this works and there's a hungry Alabama goon who wants my socialism, they can have it. Just please take pictures so it's like a child sponsorship charity, only for elections instead of impoverished children. If the Kickstarter fails, then I will have paid nothing and told a guy that I admire his efforts and his gumption.

EngineerSean posted:

I don't want to run afoul of any campaign finance laws so please skip me when calculating how much you should donate.

Just kidding, donate early and donate often.

Something Else posted:

I met my neighbor of 3 years for the first time last night, I'm pretty sure he's on the spectrum as he told me he loves electronic music, has over 50k HD rips on his hard drives, & thinks Attack of Titan is the best show on TV

EDIT: didn't bring up bernie in the convo but ill canvas the gently caress out of that guy

Mo_Steel posted:

Is this where we organize to rig the election for Bernie? Should I start the wiki?

Bernie reminds me a lot of a Lewis Black in that they are both fantastic and socialists and I would vote for them both in a heartbeat:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CXANL8m6cfg&t=320s

Sheng-ji Yang posted:

i feel bad for the republican presidents not invited to the party

Zev posted:

So close to page 20...

Jagchosis posted:

is your political ideology why you re-appropriated other people's money in SA Mart

Concerned Citizen posted:

bernie sanders is a huge supporter of the f-35

CISMALES DID 9-11 posted:

well anyone who shares his ideologies with Lewis Black is an A+ in my book how about yalls

mdm posted:

Power to the Poster

+$.09225

CISMALES DID 9-11 posted:

allow me to briefly touch upon the topic of male genital mutilation, a concept not frequently discussed here on the Somethingawful Forums

Concerned Citizen posted:

as mayor of burlington, vt, bernie sanders failed to implement sharia law

Under the vegetable posted:

Socialist parties on facebook are obsessed with Bernie's support of Israel, to the exclusion of all other issues and all other candidates (who all support Israel even more) but Bernie's Jewish so I think we all know why that's happening

Lee Harvey Oswald posted:

too late to say eat the rich?

InterFaced posted:

I wish I could be a fly on the wall in random kitchens in Oklahoma.

Hey did you hear about that new democrat that entered the race?, He's a socialist.
Well of course he is, he's a democrat.
No, No, You don't understand. He's really a socialist.

gently caress the Republic. posted:

I think he is going to surprise us all.

gently caress the Republic. posted:

http://www.c-span.org/video/?297021-5/senator-sanders-filibuster


by The Bern.

Filibernster.

rezatahs posted:

even though i'm starting to sincerely believe this grand clinton-sanders-goldman-sachs master scheme of yours(lol) it's going to backfire hard when crazy lefties like me still won't vote for the hilldawg in the general

i'd rather protest vote 3rd party

Under the vegetable posted:

City of Tampa's insane speculation is making me pee straight up into the air.

Sheng-ji Yang posted:

Hobo By Design posted:

Net neutrality won at the FCC. Iran-American relations improving. Sanders is running for president. Political news in the past year is failing to validate my crushing nihilism

ethanol posted:

has this been posted yet

http://digital.vpr.net/post/listen-highlights-bernie-sanders-1987-folk-album

gently caress the Republic. posted:

It'll be interesting to see who starts throwing their support behind Sanders in the coming months.

jarofpiss posted:

the news outlets will be faced with a difficult choice between their orders to marginalize coverage of bernie sanders and their undying love of terrible puns for headlines. enter the sand-man

Quantum Finger posted:

post ITT every time there is no reason to vote for hillary clinton

RaySmuckles posted:

any one see the daily show where they were like, "we always advocate for better politics, but lol look at this old guy! who is he, right? sure, i'll acknowledge that he's ideologically consistent, but i'll bury that lead so deep that most 20 somethings will be making colonel sanders jokes all the way to the FEMA camps!"

Huge Fucker Bitch posted:

What if Bernie Sanders posts in GBS?

Zev posted:

Part of me really hopes that it will at least get people to google his name, and that it was still a net positive.

ethanol posted:

i'd like to talk ab out planning the post election bernie victory party