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President Ark
May 16, 2010

:iiam:

Solice Kirsk posted:

Crystals do heal people though. Ever since I've been carrying around this energy crystal that I bought from Sedona, AZ I have not had hand cramps. Basically it works by focusing the life energies from Sedona into the toxins in your hand that cause the cramps. Its all proven and totally works. Buy these crystals guys!

Need a bro to help charge up that crystal? :fap:

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President Ark
May 16, 2010

:iiam:
it happened the year before i went there but some kid released a greased-up pig into the hallways of my highschool for his senior prank and got kicked out of the graduation ceremony

it was a beach town with those planes that fly banners behind them and someone hired ones that said "oink" to fly over the graduation

President Ark
May 16, 2010

:iiam:

AlphaKretin posted:

From the Dangerous Chemicals thread:

i was googling because i was wondering what the hell the actual details of that were and found this:

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/world/mexican-thieves-stole-truck-carrying-radioactive-material-die-article-1.1538219

basically they stole the truck, opened the cargo because they didn't know what the hell it was, and probably got a lethal dose from that

President Ark
May 16, 2010

:iiam:

a 6 year old died, that's not nearly as funny :smith:

President Ark
May 16, 2010

:iiam:

:rip:

President Ark
May 16, 2010

:iiam:

kinmik posted:

Trump, in a rare and shocking case of clarity and sensitivity, has stated that he would "certainly implement" a database to register and track Muslims in America. A man on twitter responded accordingly:



Then others joined.





http://distractify.com/news/2015/11/22/mark-muslim-database-id

I really hope Trump continues to keep flapping his face hole until the day he loses the elections, because the symptoms of his foot-in-mouth disease are truly :allears:

also let's not forget "hey let's start keeping track of all our citizens of $RELIGION" was literally Thing 1 the nazis did in the holocaust :godwin:

President Ark
May 16, 2010

:iiam:

canyoneer posted:

Wow. People are still talking about deflategate?

Wait, what does a man not wanting to have sex have to do with deflating a - :vince:

President Ark
May 16, 2010

:iiam:

speshl guy posted:

Wouldn't be hard for a defense attorney argue bullets or unregistered firearms located within the apartment tossed out, and any that are left in would provide sufficient grounds to pursue an appeal.

aren't both of the shooters dead

how do the dead appeal in court

President Ark
May 16, 2010

:iiam:

jesus christ it's been like a year and a half since i've done any programming and i could do all that stuff you listed in about 20 minutes, how bad was this guy

President Ark
May 16, 2010

:iiam:

SpacePig posted:

Haha, yes, these are my favorites. I always figured there was pretty significant signage warning people about them, and was surprised to learn that there were flashing lights and street paintings, and people still ignore them.

First one in the third link clearly knows it's there - it starts with her stopped in front of it, she backs out to let a bus in, and then as soon as the bus is past she guns it to try to sneak through. They (at least some of them) definitely know they're there, they just think they're clever/invincible/lucky/are high on their own farts and if anything fucks up it's not their fault and they can sue.

President Ark
May 16, 2010

:iiam:
https://gifsound.com/?gif=i.imgur.com/eklAxNn.gif&v=T3KWrUpGe_4

President Ark
May 16, 2010

:iiam:
Watermelons aren't actually that durable and the skull is the strongest part of the human body. I can't imagine she was very happy and might've had a broken nose, but chances are not much happened otherwise.

President Ark
May 16, 2010

:iiam:

Lurking Haro posted:

You mean my head won't explode like in those bicycle helmet demonstrations?

Bicycle helmet demonstrations? :confused:

President Ark
May 16, 2010

:iiam:

Pillow Hat posted:

Bonus not schaden, just freude:


what are these things called and why don't i already own one

President Ark
May 16, 2010

:iiam:

I love these ones where it looks so obvious what's about to happen and then something completely different happens. :allears:

Also kinda glad because if what I thought would happen did that dude wouldn't have a hand anymore.

President Ark
May 16, 2010

:iiam:

Caedus posted:

Yeah, see those lights blinking yellow, on the warning sign that he nailed before he even got to the bridge? They've repeatedly re-designed the approach and yet we still get video like clockwork. This guy is doing the lord's work by having a camera trained on it 24/7.

They have signs, lights, warning things, even a hanging sign that bangs on the top of your vehicle if it'd hit the bridge. It keeps happening anyway.

And before you ask, they can't lower the road because there's an active sewer main directly below the road and they can't raise the bridge because it's a high traffic rail bridge.

President Ark
May 16, 2010

:iiam:

Wait a second.

quote:

Atlanta, whose new Falcons stadium is set to open in 2017, had hoped to host a Super Bowl in 2019 or 2020. The bill could put a kink in those plans if it’s signed into law by Gov. Deal. On top of the language on faith-based groups, the bill ensures that pastors cannot be forced to preside over same-sex marriage ceremonies, and that individuals cannot be forced to attend these ceremonies. Gay rights activists have called the bill, which has gone through multiple changes but whose latest version passed the state House Wednesday, a “slap in the face,” the Atlanta Journal-Constitution reports.

How do you force someone to attend a wedding ceremony? Forget gay weddings, I'm pretty sure there's no way of doing that which isn't illegal for any wedding. :psyduck:

President Ark
May 16, 2010

:iiam:

Saturniid19 posted:

As someone whose job includes cleaning a public restroom, and as a man who lives with three women, ftfy.

The schadenfreude is on me.

yeah, my experience working jobs where i had to clean both bathrooms when i was younger was that, while the men's was usually a bit dirtier than the women's, if there was something horrifying in the bathrooms it was in the women's 100% of the time

i'm talking "poo poo on the cubicle walls/tampon disposal, floor covered in a lake of piss" type of things

the men's was usually kind of unpleasant but it was never like that

President Ark
May 16, 2010

:iiam:

Avenging_Mikon posted:

Except you can lock on to the player, you can't lock on to resident enemies. So those people are double stupid.

there's a bunch of videos like that on youtube and some people are clearly doing that (they catch the hider almost immediately) so it's not everyone

they're obviously not going to put the 80% of people who catch on right away in the video because that would be boring, they're going to include the 20% who bumble around like idiots

President Ark
May 16, 2010

:iiam:
What's that? You mean to say the people being "ironically" racist were, in fact, actually racist? Why I never! :monocle:

President Ark
May 16, 2010

:iiam:

RareAcumen posted:

So, is it safe to extinguish fireworks or would that be a bad decision?

the only correct decision when seeing that is to run outside screaming

President Ark
May 16, 2010

:iiam:

Hollismason posted:

So no one noticed that it goes Black Guy , White Woman, White Man , White Man, White Man, White Man, White Man


Like all the minorities are on one side.

i think you mean black guy, white woman, white man, white man, white man, white man, white stig

President Ark
May 16, 2010

:iiam:

Bloody Hedgehog posted:

The Stig could be anything under there. It could be a sentient conglomeration of latino polygendered kitsune otherkin or something.




i'm 90% sure the stig is just a hollow suit and helmet, there's nothing in there

President Ark
May 16, 2010

:iiam:

Not Operator posted:

They should stop trying to prevent crashes now, and just start shaming people that still do it. Instead of installing another sign, make it so a bunch of balloons drop and a trumpet goes "wah-wah-waaaaaah."

it still costs them a bunch of money whenever people crash from removing the crashed vehicle, removing debris, rerouting the intersection, repairing damage to the warning mechanism, etc.

President Ark
May 16, 2010

:iiam:

Platystemon posted:

The only thing that gets hit is a steel beam whose only purpose is to get hit by trucks so the bridge doesn't.

that beam isn't indestructible is my point

President Ark
May 16, 2010

:iiam:

nice extension you got there

President Ark
May 16, 2010

:iiam:

One Swell Foop posted:

That's an SA word filter for Ted Cruz. I mean Ted Cruz.

oh wow here i was thinking it was something like the s-j-w : skeleton thing :allears:

President Ark
May 16, 2010

:iiam:
how dare people have fun in ways i don't agree with :reject:

President Ark
May 16, 2010

:iiam:

Henchman of Santa posted:

Roundabout? idgi

http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/yes-roundabout-to-be-continued

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0tng6q3Ne28

President Ark
May 16, 2010

:iiam:

:yum:

President Ark
May 16, 2010

:iiam:

Flash Gordon Ramsay posted:

Nobody watches 6 second videos on youtube though, that'd be stupid.

yeah everyone knows 5 seconds is where it's at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=user?5secondfilms?videos

President Ark
May 16, 2010

:iiam:
the thing about radioactive elements is they tend to be really, really loving heavy and due to something termed "the tyranny of the equation"
you have an upper limit on how much weight you can put into a rocket because heavier = needs more fuel to hit orbit = fuel has weight = you need yet more fuel = which adds more weight... etc, etc, etc. so in order to put radioactive waste into space at any point - even just getting it into orbit around the moon or something "easy" compared to launching it into the sun - you'd be looking at a lot of launches with a very small amount of waste each, and more launches = higher chance of one going wrong, exploding, and showering half the planet in cancer dust

even if none of them went wrong it'd still be ludicrously expensive compared to putting another 10 feet of concrete on top of The Cancer Hole

President Ark has a new favorite as of 23:22 on Nov 20, 2016

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President Ark
May 16, 2010

:iiam:
why does every single poisonous/venemous thing from australia seem to have the additional gently caress-you of "oh, and if it doesn't kill you, you'll have chronic pain in the affected area for years afterwards"

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