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Pollyanna posted:99% of all my troubles doing development professionally has been due to management being lazy and bad at their jobs. Badly specced requirements, poorly written stories, haphazard semi-scrum/fake kanban/agilefall, inevitable blaming of developers when things go awry. I really wish I worked somewhere that had good management. That's just a legend. Such a place does not exist.
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Dec 31, 2016 16:18
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Once had several stories where the description was just the vague title stated again. With priority 1. Everything was priority 1.
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Dec 31, 2016 19:22
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Keetron posted:Red Alert! Cutting QA is sure signs of a company in trouble and soon to be much more trouble. Run while you have a will to live. Yeah time to update that resume. I do that every 3 months regardless of the current situation.
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Jan 7, 2017 22:38
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OK fine so no cursing at the code. But what about cursing at terrible PM's and managers? Also at the people who write the bad code?
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Jan 12, 2017 14:01
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I never actually curse at people. I just curse at the code and the process. And the business when they're not present. Just really tired of having to search for new jobs when yet another project becomes a complete dumpster fire due to absolutely incompetent management. And these are large corporations. Like the current one is getting the mythical man month treatment at the moment and it will be an absolute failure as far as delivery dates are concerned all thanks to an exec promising more than can be delivered. Gildiss fucked around with this message at 14:49 on Jan 12, 2017 |
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Jan 12, 2017 14:47
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I highly recommend The Mythical Man-Month for a read. Some parts can be a bit dated as it was written in 1975, but it rings so true and I work in hell please save me.
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Jan 14, 2017 01:24
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Skandranon posted:Try renaming them to "wants" and get them to be specific about that? We got back from talking with the business and everything is required, priority 1.
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Jan 19, 2017 17:21
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Mezzanine posted:Thanks for the input everyone! I guess I'll just revamp my resume as it is and then tailor it to any specific offers that I run across. I have yet to see a place that isn't a poo poo show, so don't hold out hope in that regard. Orlando isn't know for great wages, either.
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Jan 25, 2017 02:44
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Mezzanine posted:Well, drat... right now my gross is around 40~50, so as long as it's not that low I could probably stomach it. Dependant on experience and domain, it could be.
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Jan 25, 2017 15:20
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Mezzanine posted:Yeah I have about 5 years of experience with both iOS (not recently as much, so I need to brush up on Swift) and Android. Web stuff is mostly Rails and various JS frameworks, PHP for backend, y'know. All of my professional experience in Japan, though, so I know basically nothing about Agile and such, which would probably be a big handicap when coming onto a team over here. Lol no one else knows about agile so you're good on that front. Should be able to get something better there if that is the case. Better being relative of course.
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Jan 25, 2017 16:33
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Pollyanna posted:Work's now scheduling the two-day "lock-everyone-in-a-hotel-conference-room-and-make-them-code-our-website" codeathons in a city 2~3 hours away from me for twice a month now until the site gets deployed. Still no word on how we're compensated for the hotel rooms. Please repost the job ad that your place put up recently, want full context for this whole situation on display.
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Jan 25, 2017 17:05
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"Being that we have decided to move from agile back to waterfall development I feel it would be helpful to schedule weekly demos with the business to get feedback on the current progress." - a stupid piece of poo poo manager
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Jan 31, 2017 00:05
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Skandranon posted:"As you can see, nothing has changed, as deployment is the last thing scheduled. Expect something interesting by 2019" I dropped off my laptop and walked out when they announced 9am stand-up meetings and 5pm stand-down meetings everyday. Last I heard the single remaining dev of 4 was working overtime sometimes till 9pm sometimes till 3am with the managers desperately coding the wildly expanded and out of control requirements we warned them against for months hahaha. Gildiss fucked around with this message at 04:14 on Jan 31, 2017 |
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Jan 31, 2017 04:11
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Cuntpunch posted:But the Agile Coach told the team standup is absolutely critical to the Agile Process and enabling an Agile Team to work like Agile is supposed to work! We must honor the ceremonies of Ag'Ile or we will become a cursed people.
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Feb 2, 2017 14:11
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The secret is to see a massive failure point but never ever speak up about it until maybe the post project autopsy. If you speak up it will be your fault for bringing it up. Let the thing fail, because no amount of deck swabbing is going to keep the Titanic from sinking. It will be wasted effort and stress on your part.
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Feb 3, 2017 16:06
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Volmarias posted:Please no We see a big paradigm shift in the industry towards gamification of work so the new initiative is going to be based on your team making a new cloud based machine learning AI butt clicker game that outputs SVC and xls files. Thanks.
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Feb 10, 2017 13:55
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Stand ups are only useful for forcing a completely disfunctional team to communicate with each other. Otherwise most people know how to tell others what they are doing and if they need help in real-time throughout the day. In theory.
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Feb 23, 2017 13:42
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They're probably already mentally checked out and are done interviewing or have been interviewing for other positions. It'll probably clear itself up in a few weeks. Until then sit back and enjoy the blockers.
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Feb 25, 2017 16:41
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Blue Footed Booby posted:Yep. "Sorry, I went camping and turned my phone off since I had no way to charge." At that point they can either deal with it or fire me. But the server had an error message about our dick counting widget! The most important dick counting time in the calendar year!
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Mar 9, 2017 15:21
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Vulture Culture posted:My instinct is that you've created a tool that will allow terrible managers to make even worse decisions So the next great silicon valley startup?
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Mar 10, 2017 16:22
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Come Estimate My Lord. Estimate Discreetly.
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Mar 10, 2017 17:07
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You started looking for a new job because this job displeased you obviously. Is it worth your own time and mental well being to stick around for even longer than is normal? Is another week or 2 or 3 of your, increasingly as more days pass, disconnected presence going to make a difference? Honestly? Would they give you two weeks if the situation was reversed?
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Mar 18, 2017 02:53
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Lol our stash license expired today. Pushing is disabled. A fortune 500 enterprise business everybody.
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Apr 4, 2017 15:17
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geeves posted:I thought the license was per number of seats available (ours is at least, though we're small). We only have a year of updates though unless we renew. I have no idea. I only know that every single day our automated processes fail or crash from builds, deploys, servers, everything. Not very automatic if you have to manually fix it every single day.
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Apr 4, 2017 20:29
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My tech lead linked me this in hipchat yesterday. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvks70PD0Rs e: Also the CTO got walked out today. Haha that's what you get for promising 12 months of work in only 6 months, shithead! Oh nice. Our deadline was extended by 2 whole sprints. 
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Apr 6, 2017 03:58
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smackfu posted:Sometimes I think people forget what true old school waterfall was like. Like the whole process of writing all the requirements before a single line of code, and that those requirements were binding on both sides (dev and customer.) Now we get all that plus the business gets to add more scope in the middle and they get to choose the delivery date. And managers get to micromanage even more. It's a real win-win.
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Apr 6, 2017 13:03
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Progressive JPEG posted:This ensures that the two reviewers each assume the other reviewer actually looked at the PR Current place our lead devs got scolded for being too demanding on PRs for a group of expensive contractors and we were slowing them down. So now we approve everything without looking and can't wait for the regression and meltdowns to occur because their code is absolute garbage they don't even test locally before pushing up.
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Apr 16, 2017 02:57
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revmoo posted:Wait, what project are you working on with 37 minute builds? Desktop Dick Sucking Enterprise Edition
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Apr 18, 2017 16:59
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Pollyanna posted:People at my work place are making plans to jump ship. It's sinking pretty drat fast. Looks like it's time to crank up the I doubt such a place exists. Or that I would be hired by such a place. Only shambolic trash fires hire me.
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Apr 18, 2017 18:32
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, maybe I'll find a place with front-end engineers that actually understand that not everything works on all browsers. It's terrifying to think that I'm the most competent engineer in the room.
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revmoo posted:The Linux kernel needs like 8 minutes on decent hardware. 37 minutes is either a neural algorithm designed for HFT, modeling the human genome, or poo poo loving code. Enterprise level business requires a robust amount of poo poo code to run poorly on our magnificent and amazing future technology.
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Apr 18, 2017 21:42
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smackfu posted:Our underpointing has gotten a little out of hand. 4 points is a week, 2 points is more than one day, and 1 point is anything less than that. So we have 30 minute stories pointed the same as 4 hour stories, which is making our velocity erratic since the same dev is doing 1-5 points in a day. Points are dumb. Sprints are dumb. I loving hate modern development cargo culting.
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Apr 19, 2017 12:37
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Skandranon posted:Can't hurt to ask. Could be a good chunk of change if you end up staying 3 months while looking. Only reason not to is if you're worried about getting golden handcuffs. Also if they fire for this reason, it cannot be understated how much better you will be mentally and physically not having to go to a soul crushing death march everyday. If you can financially stand to be without work for a few weeks or months, that is.
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Apr 21, 2017 22:00
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Where is option 4. That is what the company they cargo cult scrum from calls them, so they do it too?
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Apr 24, 2017 03:17
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vonnegutt posted:Deadlines get adjusted, deliverables gets adjusted, my life gets easier.  What reality is this in? Because I want in.
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Apr 25, 2017 14:34
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Ghost of Reagan Past posted:I had to work with an API where the output was--I wish I was kidding--a blob of malformed HTML. I've had one with an error response with status code 200 type JSON that just had a string "error".
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Apr 25, 2017 22:42
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I would like to read it as well but maybe the development hell thread isn't the best venue? Do post a link though because I only exist in hell.
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Apr 28, 2017 18:46
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* CSS3 knowledge including data consumption from RESTful APIs An actual bullet point on a job posting.
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May 3, 2017 15:32
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Pollyanna posted:Yeah, it's been split between that and studying up on things I've been putting off. Clojure, Elixir, assembly, game dev, all that. It's nice that I get time to do that, I'm just not very comfortable with it cause it feels dangerous in a way. Close work laptop and have it displaying on one monitor while your personal laptop sits on top doing your current extra curricular task. That's what I do in this open office hellscape when I have down time.
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May 30, 2017 22:52
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Pollyanna posted:Currently ongoing. Still on the "find places and do their phone screens" stage. I'm actually having trouble finding jobs to apply to, or at least ones that I like - I mostly rely on AngelList and StackOverflow, and tips from personal contacts. It's certainly nothing like the "OH MY GOD THERE'S A HUGE DELUGE OF ENGINEERING NEEDS EVERYWHERE!!!" thing that everyone claims, but maybe that's just my pickiness. https://whoishiring.io/ Is a really nice job search that pulls from StackOverflow, Hacker News, etc.
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Jun 2, 2017 15:56
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Volmarias posted:Amazonian Badgeholes.
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Jun 12, 2017 23:55
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