The Negotiation Thread: What the fuck is wrong with HR? - The Something Awful Forums

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The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Business, Finance, and Careers > The Negotiation Thread: What the fuck is wrong with HR?

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

I had to go back and look at the old BFC thread where I asked for help negotiating a raise. For anchoring, my boss started negotiations off by writing down $60k on a notepad and saying "how does this sound to you?" (it was weird, like being in a car dealership). I immediately brought out a page where I'd detailed out the two highball offers I had written up - $117k or $85k with bonuses, and gave my reasoning. It helped that I had a side job that I could have depended on for income if he didn't want to keep me, but I knew he wanted to keep me. Imo, you need to have a backup plan ready, or you're going to panic and give in too early during negotiations.

# ¿ Mar 16, 2016 00:30

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# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 17:28

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

stuffed crust punk posted:

I guess I just wanted to piss you off personally

Don't listen to his grouching, Dwight is crustier than a stuffed crust punk.

# ¿ Aug 8, 2019 19:01

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

pumped up for school posted:

Under new insurance I'd have to start meeting deductible and OOP limits again, looking at $15k (easy) in OOP by end of year. I have to crunch some numbers but it might be cheaper to get COBRA through current employer at least through the end of the calendar year when it would reset. Insurance is something I have a weak understanding of so any advice would be welcome. I don't know if you can get COBRA if there is something available to you through another employer.

Practically speaking, nobody is going to check to see if you qualify for something else when you're on COBRA. And you said their plan doesn't currently cover your area, so you have a claim for COBRA anyway. Not sure what the rules are about getting reimbursed for COBRA but it may be worth checking into.

# ¿ Aug 9, 2019 00:04

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

That letter is way long and none of your reasoning or justification are things they care about. Don't mention your wife, your health, your tax considerations, how stable you think their bonuses are. They know how much you're worth to them, and none of that other poo poo matters.
IMO (tell me if I'm wrong):

"I'm so excited to start with Company, etc. To match my current position's vacation time, I would need 25 days PTO at a base salary of 140k or a commensurate increase in salary if it's not feasible to change the PTO.

Let me know if there's anything else you need from me to move ahead. I'm looking forward to starting with you soon."

# ¿ Aug 21, 2019 18:25

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

Eric the Mauve posted:

lol at a smaller company offering better benefits

I've worked with 2 companies <10 employees, both gave unlimited vacation and flexible hours, 401k matching, reimbursements. Small companies rule.

# ¿ Sep 27, 2019 04:25

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

Goodpancakes posted:

What's the deal with unlimited vacation?

It means if you're not loving poo poo up for other people by going away for a while, you can go away for a while. Salaried makes this weirder than hourly, but whatever, as long as you are doing your job well. You probably won't get raises like other people but you won't get fired unless you are loving something up by vacationing.

I'm happy being paid less if it means I can go on a couple months' vacation a year. Being a teacher really anchored my expectations re: lots and lots of vacation, gently caress the American norm.

# ¿ Sep 27, 2019 06:26

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

Don't you have a baby? Divorce is a hell of a lot harder with kids, doubly so if you're negotiating custody time with a nursing baby, tentuply so if you're 100 miles away trying to coparent.

# ¿ Oct 17, 2019 05:05

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

Ultimate Mango posted:

How do you negotiate with someone trying to rob you on the street?

Holy hell, with a gun? That's scary as gently caress. I've always heard the advice to throw your purse on the ground and then run, most robbers won't chase/shoot you if they are trying to pick up your purse first but if you stick around then things could get much worse than just losing your stuff.

# ¿ Oct 18, 2019 14:48

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

Agreed. Kick rear end and ask for a generous raise in 6 months or a year, depending on how much rear end you're kicking.

# ¿ Feb 6, 2020 15:50

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

PBS posted:

Surely you're not implying I'm anything less than perfect?

I've only worked at one company and all my negotiation has been with internal recruiters who already know what I make so I'm pretty limited in experience and I know less than them about the ranges etc. That being said I've managed to double my salary after 4 promotions so I'm doing well enough.

You should at least interview with a couple other places. Get a better idea of what you could get elsewhere even if you want to stay where you are, it'll put you in a powerful place.

Best offers I ever got were when I was interviewing just to practice interviewing, lol.

# ¿ Feb 12, 2020 06:19

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

I'd just focus on making sure you sound enthusiastic about the position. "Thank you for the offer to join Company; I was really impressed with Whatever Bullshit! I'll need a week to evaluate some other offers. I'm excited to join your team, but right now I would need $X in salary or commensurate benefits to sign on. I hope we can start working together soon doing [kickass thing you're kickass at]."

# ¿ Feb 14, 2020 20:53

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

My response to every employer putting "ninja" in the job description.

# ¿ Mar 17, 2021 06:30

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

Vegetable posted:

This is a bad idea IMO. It shows that you've been actively interviewing even after starting a new role with them. Even if they match or surpass the offer you'll have a target board on your back.

I think you misunderstood the poster's use of the word "reconsider".

# ¿ Sep 18, 2021 06:05

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# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 17:28

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

Handsome Ralph posted:

They haven't given an offer. The only number they provided was a range during the phone screen, but beyond that, no offer has been presented.

EDIT: What if I said something to the effect "I am unable to provide it but I can say that it was within the range we discussed during our initial conversation?"

No, just say you can't share it.

# ¿ Apr 10, 2023 21:45

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The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Business, Finance, and Careers > The Negotiation Thread: What the fuck is wrong with HR?

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