QUILTBAG-The fate of fabulous folks in foreign fields.

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > QUILTBAG-The fate of fabulous folks in foreign fields.

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The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

Mr. Nice! posted:

I have my facebook settings set so no tags of me appear unless i approve them. People tag me in poo poo all the time but my name doesn't show up unless i approve it.

what screen is this setting on? I cannot find it.

# ¿ Mar 1, 2017 16:37

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# ¿ May 14, 2024 04:22

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

CommieGIR posted:

This happened in Brazil:

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/dandara-dos-santos-dead-brazil-9980288

can you give a safe-ish rundown for those of us who don't want to click something deemed brain-warping?

# ¿ Mar 9, 2017 05:50

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

Liquid Communism posted:

It's always funny to read this, then wonder how exactly we have anyone left alive in the US at all, given that there are more privately owned guns than people floating around here. It's almost like that statistic is meaningless because assault is statistically speaking rare enough that the also rare incident of accident with a dangerous object has a similar prevalence!

http://www.vocativ.com/culture/lgbt/transgender-suicide/

41% of transgender people have attempted suicide. Arming trans people just converts those attempts into successes. It's a terrible idea. The only way to protect the trans community is to get people to stop being bystanders to violence against minorities.

# ¿ Mar 9, 2017 16:18

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

Easy Salmon Recipe posted:

This right here. The moment the LGBT community arms up and GROUPS up, we'll be safer. Bigots are cowardly as gently caress, and unlikely to try to mass, as LGBT rights crossed the 50% approval mark close to a decade ago at this point. Thus, making it about attacking a community, rather than a person, makes it a lot less likely that some inbred piece of poo poo is going to try and take out his daddy issues on one of us, because that will end with him outnumbered and outgunned.

Um, I think this is one of the places where we do a disservice to everyone in the acronym by treating LGBT as a single cohesive group. People might be past 50% support for the most adorable and clean-cut gay couples' ability to get married, but lesbians are still often treated like they just need a good dicking from the right man to go straight, bi people are treated as invisible or worse, and trans people currently have psychopaths monitoring our bathroom activities lest we succumb to the allure of child flesh.

There are some rights and causes that unify us, but when you're talking about personal safety issues and public approval issues, the trans community has a long, long way to go to stack up with cute white gay dads in the JC Penney catalog or whatever.

# ¿ Mar 10, 2017 17:42

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

Easy Salmon Recipe posted:

Those laws seem to be roundly rejected by all but the most incurable fascists.

I'd be very interested in seeing the response if it's framed as a "protecting our own with the All-Powerful and Glorious Second Amendment without GUBMINT interference". At the very least, they frothing right wing lunatics would get called their hypocrisy if they had a problem with gay bashers getting bashed back, given that they tug their crooked, flaccid, little dicks raw every time some inbred farmer decides to turn his trailer into The Independent Nation of Dumbfuckistan.

I think you'd see a lot of queer people get shot by hillbillies claiming that the queer person was menacing them and they had to stand their ground.

# ¿ Mar 10, 2017 21:24

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

come see my cover band Gay Panic! At The Disco next saturday.

# ¿ Mar 13, 2017 15:58

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

Rent-A-Cop posted:

If you aren't listening to PWR BTTM you're doing it wrong.

Queer punk is one of the only punk sub-genres that has really survived the transition to the 21st century.

I loving love pwr bttm. Dairy Queen is the best song.

# ¿ Mar 13, 2017 18:19

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

Aleph Null posted:

There are transphobic people who are transgender

on these very forums even.

# ¿ Mar 17, 2017 21:13

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

Thalantos posted:

Culture at large is transphobic.

Humans pick up the values of the surrounding culture(s), even if they disagree with them.

So everyone is transphobic.

The important thing to do, is to recognize and fight against this.

I tend not to think of transphobia out of ignorance as the same thing, as it can generally be corrected. I'm thinking only of people who hold a genuine hatred in their hearts for transgender people.

# ¿ Mar 19, 2017 16:23

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

Gorilla Salad posted:

From the schadenfreude thread:

I don't like describing this as schadenfreude. I know it's not in the literal definition of the word, but I feel like there's a subtext that the downfall is an appropriate mirror to the thing they did. I don't like the idea of "caught loving children" as schadenfreude for being mean to trans people.

# ¿ Mar 21, 2017 15:18

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

BigRed0427 posted:

Ok, took me awhile but i found their post again. drat, Facebook does not make finding things easy. Two things to know when you read this. 1: This person does the organizing for all the trans related events in our area, including TDOR and the Trans day of Visibility that was recently held. Also, their family is Russian so that might be where the "Russiaphobia' stuff is comming from

I had totally forgotten the "All Live Matter" Part at the end there. This pisses me off so much and is why I am leery of a lot of the far left Marxists and socialists in general. It seems like a lot of them are demanding their pet causes come first and everything else is a distraction.

tankies are the loving worst. "i will ignore all the crimes of not-communist dictatorships lest people use <<hey russia>> as an argument against communism. also i poo poo my pants and do not buy new ones because clean pants are an effete distraction of the bourgeoisie."

# ¿ Apr 17, 2017 04:33

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

PT6A posted:

There's also a strong undercurrent of nationalism in Eastern Europe: Admitting to your country having done something wrong would be tantamount to saying that, possibly, your heritage is not the most superior one in the world (which is constantly and unfairly put upon by pernicious external influences, which one must constantly be on guard against) and, well, that would just be intolerable.

Tankies are Western commies though. Aging American and British trots who defend everything China, Russia, or Korea do lest it besmirch the superiority of communism.

# ¿ Apr 17, 2017 19:51

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

PT6A posted:

Right, I was talking specifically about the person BigRed was quoting, who was of Russian descent.

Gotcha. My brain shut down on that post before I saw who the quote came from.

# ¿ Apr 17, 2017 20:04

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

VitalSigns posted:

The gay Trump-voters I know (mostly from Dallas, natch) love Mike Pence and are fine with this because they think only the 'bad' kind of gay people get discriminated against while the good wholesome kind (them) won't have any problem

maybe the tankies were right

bougie rear end gay dudes.

# ¿ May 4, 2017 16:12

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

Guavanaut posted:

The 'bad' kind of gay people like those born into homophobic families who were lied to that you can shock the gay out of children?

i think in this case he meant that they are referring to those hedonistic gays who spend their lives in a continuous orgy of hot man sex that is totally and absolutely occurring on a larger scale and not at all made up in well-to-do white people's heads.

# ¿ May 4, 2017 19:52

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

Prester Jane posted:

Fair enough, I'll keep my material out of this thread going forewards.

Edit: I offer my heartfelt apologies for any undue interruption of this thread I may have caused. I am not attempting to be sarcastic or troll here, I am being up front and honest. It is apparent that my participation in this instance here has brought an unwelcome derailment of this thread and for that I do genuinely apologize and will take pains to avoid repeating this particular error in the future.

It's not a perfect fit, but if you wanted to have a more extended/serious discussion about ACE again I'm sure most people in TGRS would be OK with a thread there as long as it was clear how it tied into suppressing minority identities and such.

And we all know you didn't mean any harm

# ¿ May 25, 2017 15:56

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

joat mon posted:

No, I agree with you that having to be angry about Muslims is stupid.

But the same pages where "gently caress corporation floats in pride parades, gently caress allowing cops to attend in uniform, gently caress allowing politicians to campaign there unless their record on gay rights is SPOTLESS, and gently caress any straight tourist that isn't respectful" is cheered and religion gets (albeit more gently) tossed in too, your sentiment of compassion and toleration felt unfortunately out of place at the moment.

what the gently caress is wrong with you? religions are massive entities organized of individuals with differing philosophies. corporations and police forces are unified entities that act unilaterally from the policy laid out by their leadership. it's entirely different. nobody's kicking Unitarian Universalists out of pride parades because their relationship to, say, holy rollers is basically a tiny amount of shared vocabulary. Meanwhile, police as an institution have centuries of of history of using their power to maintain the status quo even when that status quo is the creation of underclasses of human beings based on their sex or skin color. This is a common feature of all police departments nearly uniformly. Even in "liberal bastions" like New York, Chicago, San Francisco, and so on, police have long track records of beating up and killing black people and queer people to this very day. meanwhile the vast majority of muslims mostly want to live their lives in peace and leave others in peace.

# ¿ Jun 12, 2017 21:57

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

Ayin posted:

My GP has a little flyer at the check-in desk asking that patients specify their gender identity at each visit, to ensure that the staff don't make any mistakes.

This is in Dothan, Alabama

I would never write down anything related to my gender on a piece of paper in Alabama regardless of context. Plenty of trans people have been murdered by bigoted clinical staff who saw information they didn't need to see. It's an issue we're struggling with mightily in how to properly store gender information in our EMR.

# ¿ Jun 14, 2017 15:25

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

Thalantos posted:

Yeah, that person doesn't hang out in any of the Troon threads or what have you.

Come hang out with us!

I don't feel safe in the cccc thread because a certain people involved in doxxing still post there and for obvious reasons I'm in a total social media lockdown these days.

You can pm me if you want the drama about the tgrs thread but I got some threats so I'm not gonna talk about it here.

# ¿ Oct 12, 2017 23:32

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

I'm in the same boat where I used to operate under the assumption that people just lie to my face and then act like assholes when I'm not there, and that was reinforced by a lot of childhood and teenage trauma unrelated to being trans, and it took me 2 years working with an extremely good therapist (the 3rd I'd tried over the course of transitioning) to get to the point where someone could compliment me and I could accept that they were being factual rather than "just being nice".

That lack of trust in people's intentions is a particularly nasty brainworm because it's reinforced by a lot of real lived experience for most of us, and it can be really hard to switch from having your guard up among strangers to having your walls down around people you know.

And as Thalantos says, if the people you know are doing that poo poo, you need to cut them out of your life because it's not good for you to have 0 places where you can relax and trust the people around you. That path leads to anxiety and depression.

# ¿ Oct 17, 2017 18:53

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

FantasticExtrusion posted:

When I said the spectre of homophobia was a fading ghost, I said fading, not gone. A lot of closed-door examples from people who grew up in a different era and are dying. Some pandering from politicos for a demo grab. Call someone "loving human being" at WalMart in an unironic way and look at what the random sample of eyes say about it.

Nobody's saying hate is not still out there, but it's been pushed to the fringes.

If only the rest of the planet could catch up.

I'm so happy for you. For trans people the hate is still right out in the open, everywhere. We get called trannies on the street, people follow us to the bathroom or the car, we get kicked out of changing rooms in department stores, we're murdered at a much higher rate than other groups, our suicide rate is through the roof, and our own government is at the forefront of finding new ways to persecute us.

If you have stuff to say about the gay experience feel free, but Kramering into a conversation about trans people to assert that lifesaving treatments are problematic in your view as a cis gay dude and then telling us about how hate free your life is is real hosed up. Please don't mute other people's challenges and traumas by bragging about how great it is for gays in the year 2017.

# ¿ Oct 17, 2017 19:04

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

Aleph Null posted:

It was this, right? This is what you are upset about?

I don't dispute the fact that gender affirming surgery helps transgender individuals. But if someone were to have that forced on them, like, say, a homosexual man in Iran, it would seem pretty horrific. It would taking a cisgender person and forcing them into dysphoria. Someone who had felt threatened by that would have a very different opinion on gender affirming surgery.

Also, what about the fact that society basically requires "the surgery" before they will take you seriously. Like, I can't count how many times people have asked me "have you had the surgery?" like it is just a normal topic of conversation. Why should that matter? If I tell them "No" will they consider me a dirty tranny and not a "real woman". Would it matter if I had had "the surgery"? I hate that I feel the need to have "the surgery" whether I want it or not, just so I can finally fit in. Especially knowing that I will still be excluded when people find out, no matter what work I have done. It will never be enough to make into someone who was born a cisgender woman. I guess that's just dysphoria.
I totally wish there was a magic hospital like the one shown in movies and cartoons where a buff, burly dude walks in, and a petite, leggy chick walks out. That's what non-LGBT people think. Probably even some LGB people. I loving wish.
But even though it doesn't exist, society wants everybody to look like it does. Are you a transwoman with a receding hairline and a beer gut? Nope. You are a really gay man in a dress. Are you a transman with breasts? Lol, no. You are just a butch lesbian.

Also, the genital surgeries aren't that great. You can have your penis inverted into a hole that sort of looks like a vagina, but isn't one and doesn't function like one, and doesn't have ovaries or a uterus. You're gonna have to babysit your neo-vagina because it's not self-cleaning and doesn't have all the mucus membranes. I'm not as familiar with the surgery to create neo-phalluses, but I understand they don't have a way to give a transman the ability to form a natural erection. What you get involves pumps, I think? You end up with something that passes a cursory inspection, but may create more issues than it solves because it will never be perfect or even average.

I think that is what the poster is trying to say, well, one of these things.

Your information is out of date and the idea that confirmation surgery results in a "fake" genital that doesn't work like the real thing is propaganda. Yes, penile inversion is the technique that is used to make a neovagina, but barring horrific complications they're extremely functional. Yes we will always deal with the dysphoria of not having a uterus and being unable to have children, but vaginas and penises form from the same set of tissues in utero and modern surgeons have gotten really good at doing things like using the mucosa from the inside of the glans penis it form the labia minora and forming extremely accurate clitorises and hoods. Although most trans women can't self lubricate, plenty of cis women have that problem too. Neovaginas have full sexual function, again barring catastrophic complications, and many trans women report even increased function compared to pre surgery since dysphoria no longer interferes.

The painting of confirmation surgery as some kind of devils bargain to attain pacification of dysphoria at some sort of nebulous personal expense is dangerous and contributes to the atmosphere of stigma that lets insurance companies refuse coverage to us and the government to refuse treatment to prisoners and soldiers.

# ¿ Oct 17, 2017 22:21

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

Aleph Null posted:

I guess the doctor I consulted with just didn't want to get my hopes up? That was just about exactly a year ago.

His after surgery care regimen included douching a few times a week to keep the neo-vagina squeaky clean, no vaginal flora for you. The pictures of his work looked... bad, functional but not aesthetically pleasing. Like he forgot the labiaplasty. To be fair, it's one of the reasons I've gone cold on the whole idea. I've read great things and then this guy tore down all my illusions by laying out the "facts".

This is someone my therapist recommended because other folks have had good results and praised his work (and he's the only surgeon offering GRS within easy driving distance). I can't fly for various reasons.

I also had to have a letter from my therapist, another supplemental therapist, and my endocrinologist all saying I was a good candidate before they'd contact my insurance.

Edit:

Seeing a baby and realizing "I will never be a mother" was pretty rough the first time it happened to me after I was on hormones. loving hormones. Blessing and curse.
Of course, my wife was like, "I realized I'd never be a mother years ago. Welcome to the club." We did not high five or fist bump. It's not that kind of club.

You saw a bad surgeon. Go look at Brownstein Cranes website or find pictures of Dr Brassard's work to see what it's like when a practiced and experienced surgeon does it. Like any plastic surgery, it's as much about artistry and an aesthetic eye as it is surgical technique and this is what separates good from bad surgeons (how many lovely boob jobs do you see out there for every good one, for example?). Yes, you have to dilate to keep it from closing, but after the recovery period you only have to do that like once a week and only if you don't otherwise have sex or masturbate with penetration. It's not the albatross around the neck it gets exaggerated to.

I also deal with dysphoria around child bearing. I get irrationally upset around pregnant people sometimes. Gender confirmation surgery can't fix that, but why pass on a surgery that can help some of my pain while waiting for one that can address other aspects of my pain?

The fact remains that surgery isn't for everyone and many trans people are perfectly happy with what they've got in their pants already, but I don't want to see people miss out on a surgery that could really help them just because of horror stories spread by anti trans groups and results from bad unknown surgeons.

# ¿ Oct 17, 2017 22:44

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

Vulpes Vvardenfell posted:

I keep hearing conflicting information about neovaginas being self-cleaning. A lot of people say it isn't, and others say that it is after the first two months, while the proper bacteria get a foothold. Do you know where reliable information is to be had on that?

To be honest I haven't seen much information either way on that one. I only know anecdotally that nobody I know who's got one complains about having to clean it, so they either don't or it's just not that big a deal given the benefits.

# ¿ Oct 18, 2017 18:37

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

Hollismason posted:

My understanding was that a portion of the inner lining of the intestines was used in order to provide a mucus membranes in the newer surgeries for vaginoplasty.

I am not trans but have dated and been in relationships with people who were and that person was very well versed plus I just read a bunch on it.

Some Thai surgeons do that but American surgeons consider it bad practice as you are disrupting the function of the digestive system to do that. If grafts are needed American surgeons tend to go for skin from the thigh.

Edit: and as far as my two cents, medical tourism for complicated and dangerous procedures seems ill advised to me. Especially to a country where they call us ladyboys and the doctors assume we're getting the surgery to further our prostitution careers.

# ¿ Oct 18, 2017 19:03

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

Aleph Null posted:

Growing penises: https://www.theguardian.com/education/2014/oct/04/penis-transplants-anthony-atala-interview
Growing vaginas: http://www.bbc.com/news/health-26885335

"Expect 3D printing to revolutionise this field as the technology to precisely place both the cells and the scaffolding improves.

So far for cisgender folks only.

Edit: if I didn't think it was 20 years out, I'd wait for this.

This is kind of my main point. Yes, better medicine will come in the future. Is that worth the pain of doing nothing now? That question has a different answer for every person. For me, I'm going to assume that since bottom surgery leaves all the nerves and blood supply intact that any future grown organ implantation will work just fine for people who already had old-fashioned srs.

# ¿ Oct 18, 2017 20:38

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

Senju Kannon posted:

kathoey don't map onto our western ideas of gender and sexuality 1:1, which is something western activists, theorists, and even terfs fail to understand and appreciate. suffice to say; most kathoey don't identify as women but as a third gender, and consider ladyboy to be a proper translation of kathoey

You're much better studied in Eastern cultures than I am so I'll take your word for it. Doesn't assuage my concerns about medical tourism to a less developed country however. I've seen video from Thai surgeons where they just wake you up from anesthesia and make you walk up stairs to a room full of cots after surgery.

# ¿ Oct 18, 2017 20:41

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

Keeshhound posted:

Just so we're clear, I'm glad they're doing expirements with 3d printing tissues in such a way that it can help people transition, even if it's not the primary intended use, but I'm honestly surprised we're doing this poo poo so soon.

I guess I just always assumed it'd be the primary organs first (heart, lungs, etc.), then limbs, and then finally once those had been worked out we'd move on to growing surrogate sex organs.

Well, part of it is that there's genetic abnormalities that can cause people to be born with no genitals but otherwise doesn't harm them, whereas people born with no heart or lungs just die. This research started as a way to help people born with one of these genital defects. There are many other efforts working on growing other types of organs, but peepees and vagines makes for a more eye grabbing headline so it gets more coverage.

# ¿ Oct 18, 2017 20:52

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# ¿ May 14, 2024 04:22

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

Aleph Null posted:

I'd like to say "it gets better" but, in this culture, all I can say for certain is "you get stronger."

This is sage right here

# ¿ Feb 27, 2018 22:09

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