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Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

thank your for making this thread echi

i love you

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Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

echinopsis posted:

maybe another time I will post about the trainwrecks and disasters and people I've had to cut off

please

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

echinopsis posted:

maybe another time I will post about the trainwrecks and disasters and people I've had to cut off


please echi

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

echinopsis posted:

Yeah, it can't be that women actually have agency and love sex

echi my friend, have you ever considered that women have no pleasure receptors in their throats and that deepthroating is degrading behavior learned from extreme hardcore pornography?

perhaps a small minority of women can derive pleasure from choking on your penis because childhood trauma causes them to disassociate during sex or maybe the small high from a lack of oxygen, but to suggest it is a generally pleasurable activity is stretching it a bit

would you not agree friend?

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

echinopsis posted:

Sex is inherently psychological, and I don't know what to say to this except that it's fine to accept that a LOT of people seem to enjoy slight sub/dom acts in the bedroom, and trying to make it an issue about women learning degrading behaviours from porn kind of says more about the lack of agency you attribute to the women themselves.

i disagree my friend, because we have plenty of fine members of the opposite gender who when surveyed say they do not orgasm many times during sexy fun time, and often fake it

i worry about our future children learning about sex from porn instead of learning that sex is supposed to be fun and feel good for both parties

but you raise fair points, and i look forward to hearing more about your adventures friend

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

echinopsis posted:

mate I ain't giving any advice yet. you don't get good at sex, you get good at people. care about them, and that'll translate into being good at the sex.

this is the most beautiful thing ive ever seen you write, friend

and its so true

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

BooLoo posted:

It's you!

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

BooLoo posted:

You keep doing you echi, you're infinitely happier than about 98% of the broken little inhabitants in this subforum.

echi is the best

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

Palisader posted:

Unrelated to my previous response, but I have a newborn and a 10 year old and trying to juggle them plus going back to work plus my husband is exhausting. I can't imagine going "hmm yes I will divide my time up even further!" but I am also very tired and a little cranky.

echi is often unemployed and probably a bad father

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

Graff posted:

I am in team echis dick

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

Control Volume posted:

SEx is impossible

this checks out based on personal experience

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

everyone loves deepthroating

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

echinopsis posted:

she's a keeper. she's older which is hot as hell and GENUINELY ENJOYS DEEPTHROATING FOR HER OWN SAKE

lol

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

god bless you echi, keep doing you

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

echinopsis posted:

about 3 hours and 45 minutes ago

mate...

details...

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

scott zoloft posted:

hmm.. secure enough to have sex with lots-o-ladies... yet insecure enough in that he needs confirmation from internet defectives... very interesting...

really makes you think

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

hog fat posted:

A woman came over and sucked my foreskin. She emptied me and I felt satisfied and we lay there awhile. I rolled to one side of the bed. I reached for the bureau for a cigarette and and lit the cigarette and smoked the cigarette. It was good. She watched me smoke the cigarette in silence and looked at me with that look that they all do.

"Wow, you are good at that sex," she said, smiling coyly.
"Hmph, you think that is good? You should read the sex I write about on the Something Awful forums."
"Wow, that is a very cool thing to do," she said, intrigued.
"Yeah," I said.

"Sorry, my kids just found out my wife shaves her bush in sex class," I said.
"That must be hard," she said.
"You cannot even imagine the feels," I said. And she could not. I pulled out my purchased-used iphone 5s
"What are you doing now?" she asked.
"Updating my tally," I said before hugging and kissing her on the forehead tenderly.

ftfy

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

god speed and keep up updated mate

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

can we all admit we are jealous of the echi lifestyle and stop being mean to our friend so he can continue to use this safe space to share more stories

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

good on ya mate

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

echinopsis posted:

you have an opportunity just before you are to leave for work ... to have was... but it's only for like 2 minutes max..

do
you work it up hard and press it in? does she desperately need you deep inside, despite having only been awake for 50 seconds..

what? are you to lazy or too weak? always have sex if there is the opportunity

hash tag yolo

good poo poo op :jackbud:

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

zen death robot posted:

Who's gonna get custody of the kids

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

Grandmother of Five posted:

sexually woke IT guys

do not insult echi, he can barely operate a computer

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

echinopsis posted:

just got told i was someone's "cock god"

nice

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

Crumpet Strumpet posted:

[echinopsis voice] just got called "daddy" today, that's a first. felt kind of weird tbh. hearing it from my kid instead of a tindr rando, fuckin bizarre


Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

echinopsis posted:

next weekend there is a party at my place. just an ordinary party. but people from all around my social circles may come. will upstairs turn into a sex dojo? friend of mine is keen for me to empower her rear end in a top hat.. my question is.. will I be too pissed to get it up? my predilection for intoxication is powerful and I need to reign it in

has anyone in your social circle been to auckland?

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

GlyphGryph posted:

why auckland? all the crazy sex stuff happens in wellington. or at least thats where all the conventions seem to be

auckland is the largest city and economic centre of new zealand, and our kiwi friend echi has never been there

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

and yet he fucks

really makes you think  

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

m

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

are you finally visiting auckland mate!?

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

wot happened m8

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

Powaqoatse posted:

crotchless aerodynamic cycling onesie with like French & Italian telecom logos on it

all deepthroating a milf while taking a huge sip from a branded sports water bottle

this is extremely my poo poo

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

echinopsis posted:

also confirmed that girls who work with sharepoint also love being deepthroated. no one can tell me "why", just that it "turns them on so much"

mate...

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

Trig Discipline posted:

hey echi is this you


Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

echi i found a girl who likes deepthroating

im sorry i ever doubted you

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

government

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

echinopsis posted:

me.. she's into me

got this text on the way home



:waycool:

mate...she uses android

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

Trig Discipline posted:

probably easier to just deepthroat him

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

noice mate

how did you meet the three ladies and what are their ages

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Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

little munchkin posted:

somewhere in a parallel universe there's a woman posting on a message board listing a bunch of different professions and saying believe it or not, all of these types of men like to get their dicks sucked

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