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I [22,M] Knocked on my ex girlfriend[22,F] door and a guy [22,M] answered! Hello I was in a relationship with my girlfriend Piper for a year, she ended it because we argued quite a bit, as I wanted to settle down, and she didn't. She broke up with me on April fools day (how ironic). Since then, I have sent her a couple texts, no reply. Piper hasn't talked directly to me, but I ran into one of our mutual friend's this week, and she told me that Piper asked how I was doing! I didn't get to talk to her long enough to see if Piper missed me but i figured she had to miss me if she asked about me. Yesterday morning I decided to stop by her house, her car was there, so I knocked on the door, and a very tall guy answered the door. I expected him to be a douche with the worst him attempting to fight me but he was actually a very chill guy, he said wasup, I told him I was looking for Piper, he said she was sleep. He said he would tell her I stopped by, he must've knew who I was because the guy closed the door behind him , and he literally talked to me for like 30 minutes about the whole situation, he already seemed like he knew the whole spill so I was just basically getting stuff off my chest to him. The guy was really giving me good advice which was basically him telling me to move on, he did subtly throw in that I should keep fighting though. He got a call ( probably from her) and went back in the house but he told me that he wished me the best, then he called me a badger brother so I'm pretty sure we went to the same college . Anyways, I sat outside in my car for like an hour, my mind just racing on what I should do. And honestly I still don't know what to do, I want to keep trying but what if that was her new guy and she's happy with him? Side note: I was still sitting outside her complex when she walked to her car holding his hand with his jacket on. That moment made me think that's her new boyfriend but if it was why would he tell me to keep trying?? Why would she ask about me if she still didn't have feelings for me?? I'm just confused honestly, I really want to keep trying but I don't want to fight a losing battle.. need advice??!! tl;dr: Went to reconcile with my girlfriend and a guy answered the door (no line breaks in the original)
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Jun 23, 2017 22:51
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My [20F] friend [24M] says really vulgar things to me and makes me uncomfortable So I’ve had this “friend” for a while who goes to the same school as me. I’ve never thought of him in a romantic way, and despite telling him this he still keeps mentioning that if he loses a certain amount of weight that maybe I will give him a chance. He always invites me to hang out with him, but I don’t want to. Because of that we mainly text. He sometimes says really vulgar things to me, which makes me super uncomfortable. But I still wonder if I’m just being a prude or something. For example, he’s mentioned several times that my best friend and I should be a lesbian couple, and then sometimes flat out trying to convince me that I’m a lesbian. I just find it extremely creepy that he would even mention my sexuality. Also when I was in a relationship he would ask invasive questions like if I had had sex with him or not. Then today he texts me and says that we should have a “mock fight” where we text each other insults which are in “good fun.” I don’t know why anyone would even want to do this and how it’s fun but I say ok. He first says that I’m a “fake blonde cum guzzling oval office” and I’m really thinking that this guy has serious issues. I feel like he has some sort of anger towards me and I don’t want to be around him. tl;dr: Do I need to cut this guy off? He's not bad to talk to sometimes but his behavior makes me uncomfortable at times.
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Jul 5, 2017 21:52
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http://www.clickhole.com/article/be-prepared-experts-warn-polyamorous-relationship--6226
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Jul 12, 2017 18:38
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My friend (f25) wants to go to a wedding with me (m25), but I have a girlfriend (f25) In high school, I had a close friend Jess (f25). We hung out all the time and overall, had a good time together. We grew apart a little after college, but she recently moved back into the state to the same city I'm in. It's been nice catching up with. I have been dating my girlfriend Lily (f25) for the past 2 years. We met in a running group, so we share a ton of common interests and we get along very well. We don't fight a lot and we were friends for a year before we started dating. She's met all my friends and family. My parents and siblings love her. Overall, it's a relationship that I see going far. My high school friend's wedding is coming up in August. When I saw Jess last, I brought up the wedding thinking she had been invited. She had, but she turned it down before she moved back as she didn't think she would've made it. She's upset that she will miss out on seeing all her high school friends and other people she hasn't seen in years. She then asked if maybe I could take her. I said that I would have to talk to my girlfriend about it because she was planning to go with me. I don't know if she'd be comfortable with me going to it with another woman, but I know how much Jess wants to see these people and we are just friends. Would it be okay to ask my girlfriend if Jess could go instead? Or is that something I should avoid doing and tell Jess no? I feel bad letting down a friend, but I don't want to cause problems in my relationship. tl;dr: My high school friend wants to go to me to a wedding (of someone we knew in high school). I was planning to take my girlfriend, would it be okay to ask her if Jess could go instead or should I avoid this all together?
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Jul 13, 2017 00:07
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Someone in the nonprofit psycho boss thread wrote an alternate version and it's loving amazing: A little background. I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 5 years, though it's currently long distance. Last fall I started working at a nonprofit through a fellowship. I normally get along well with everyone, and really enjoyed the office. I got trained by my boss, a manager there who has seemed very friendly since I started, perhaps too friendly. He started texting me outside of work early on, but it was always nice and nonthreatening, mostly about tv. We would sometimes go to happy hour together and he even invited me to lunch with his mom when she was visiting. It was a little weird, but I want to make a good impression, and I get the feeling like he doesn’t really have any friends at work. It must be hard for a manager, and maybe it’s easier to talk to me because I’m here through a fellowship? I know, slightly naïve, but I had high hopes for this and I tried very hard to never talk about my personal life. A few months after I started working here I was concerned that my boss might be developing a bit of a crush, so I let it drop that I was in a long-term relationship. He didn’t seem phased so I figured it was all in my head. Well, two weeks ago our parent group was hosting a fundraising gala. My boss asked if I would like to go, and I said yes because I assumed it was a professional event. My boyfriend was visiting that weekend but he understands that work events are important, this fellowship is only for a year after all. Well then I get a call from my boss asking when he should pick me up? I was pretty shocked, this is a work event, not a date. I honestly thought about cancelling, but my boyfriend said it was probably just miscommunication and I should go. He agreed to drive me and drop me off, and to stay in the general area in case things got weird and I had to call him. Things got weird. When I got there my boss was pretty standoffish and acting like he expected an apology. He definitely thought this was a date. We were talking to a couple and he was acting like we were all on a group date, so I excused myself to call my boyfriend to pick me up. I waited in the bathroom for another five minutes to minimize the time I had to spend with him. My boyfriend was so worried he came into the gala with shorts on, and was immediately insulted by my boss. I just wanted to get out of there. My boss even asked me to text him when I got home safe. Safe from what? I was with my boyfriend. Holy poo poo, I’m getting angry writing this. But you see what I’m talking about right? He completely rubbed me the wrong way. Anyway, he kept sending me text messages saying he was worried, but I ignored them because he was creeping me out. Then he send this insane message detailing how upset he was with how I was treating him and how I thought my boyfriend was exerting too much control over me. Of course I didn’t reply. On Monday I confronted him first thing in the morning. Before he had a chance to say anything, I told him he made me uncomfortable and I just want to finish my last two months of fellowship without any contact that is not necessary for work. This was about two weeks ago. I was really scared at first, but then thought things had died down. Well today I found out he posted an insane screed on reddit about how my boyfriend was abusive! TL/DR: My boss is sexually harassing me and accusing my boyfriend of abuse. Do I need a lawyer? How do I file a complaint?
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Jul 14, 2017 23:39
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NSFW, Me [F25] confused about best 'friend' [M27] Long story short, We have been close friends for 4 years. We talk daily and have always had an platonic friendship. Never anything sexual. I have never viewed him as anything else either other than a best friend. Well this weekend I stayed over at his place and we always sleep together on his bed because its a small little rental he lives in, basically one room and a bathroom. We literally just sleep next to each other and it has never been odd. Well this time I woke up in the middle of the night him breathing against my neck and clearly jacking off beside me while touching my upper thigh. I froze because I didnt know how to react. So I pretended to sleep and allowed him to finish. It was so awkward for me. Now it has been weird because I feel kind of silly being normal again around him when he did what he did. He hasnt said a word about it though. I dont know how to approach the issue. tl;dr: Best friend jacked off beside me thinking I was sleeping, but I wasnt. Now I feel weird and dont know if I should ask about it.
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Jul 18, 2017 00:39
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Hahaha this is like the inverse of the Pete story: I (M26) asked my girlfriend's (F26) best friend (F26) on vacation with me when my girlfriend cancelled. My girlfriend and I have been together for 3 years now. She has a best friend who is always around and we have become friends over that time. My girlfriend and I had planned a vacation in August. Its a month long trip and something we've been planning for years. We both get very good vacation time so it wasn't a problem. Something came up with her work and now she cannot go. My girlfriend's best friend is between work right now and I know she's always wanted to go on a similar trip. I asked her to go and she said she'd love to. She needs cheering up as she's been very down about her job loss and job hunt. I hadn't mentioned the plan to my girlfriend before hand and when she found out she was pissed. She doesn't want me to go on the trip with her best friend. She thought I would take one of my best friends or my brothers, but most of them are working and wouldn't have been able to go even if I asked. She says she can't support the two of us taking her dream vacation without her and its weird that the two of us are planning to vacation alone together. She's barely speaking to me now. I know that it was hard for my girlfriend to miss this, but it wasn't my fault and I needed someone else to go with. I know I should've discussed it with her beforehand, but I was so upset about trying to find someone to go with, I didn't want to waste any time asking her friend. tl;dr: My girlfriend cancelled on our vacation so I asked her best friend to come instead. Now my girlfriend is pissed at me. Is this really that weird? I don't want to waste this vacation time and vacation. Thoughts? In the comments he's doubling down and saying he'll just go on the vacation alone.
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Jul 18, 2017 19:04
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I've (26F) been dating a really great guy (31M) for about 2 months. Everything is wonderful but for some reason he tells people he was on 2008 Olympic soccer team (which I can't find any proof of). Is this a deal breaker?
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Jul 19, 2017 01:28
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My (30M) wife's (26F) cousin (35M) and his wife (35F) just had a baby and have cut contact with my wife for being too pushy about breastfeeding. I'm not sure what I should do or if I should stay out of it. Me: 30M My wife: 26F My wife's cousin: 35M 'John' My wife's cousin's wife: 35F 'Mary' My wife and I have been married for 5 years and together for 7 years total. I think my wife's cousin and his wife have been together and married for around the same amount of time as us. My wife's cousin and his wife ('John' and 'Mary') just had a baby. When she was pregnant Mary had brushed off the subject of breastfeeding. My wife is a breastfeeding advocate. She is involved in la leche league, is a breastfeeding coach and wants to be a consultant one day. My wife did encourage Mary to breastfeed. This was Mary and John's first child and my wife said she wanted to be helpful. She gave Mary books about breastfeeding and la leche league pamphlets. Mary brushed off the subject and John had asked my wife to leave it alone. My wife was upset that their baby was on formula straight away and that Mary didn't even try to breastfeed. It became a big issue after the baby was born. I thought my wife should stay out of it too but my wife is very passionate about this and she did not. John had a big blow up at my wife because he said Mary has an auto-immue disease which affects her and means she does not absorb vitamin B12. My wife talked to some people she knows at la leche league and did some research and this was what pushed John over the edge. He said all of Mary's doctors, and the consultant and nurses at the hospital agreed she should not breastfeed because the baby would not get any B12. Mary can only get B12 from shots, it does not matter how much she eats. She had to be monitored for her whole pregnancy to make sure both she and the baby were getting enough B12 and if she breastfed there would be a danger that the baby would not get any B12 and this would be bad and affect the baby. John and Mary have since cut off all contact with my wife. She is not welcome in their home and they will not attend any family events where my wife is present. They blocked her on Facebook, email and her phone number. I thought it was a bad idea and my wife should stay out of it. She says she didn't know and John said it was none of her business and Mary is very private about her disease and John only told my wife to shut her up. My wife also offered to donate breast milk to them because our son (3M) is breastfed but John said no. The family is staying out of it but a few people have said my wife is wrong. John has asked his family not to share any pictures or information about Mary and the baby to my wife also. They did not accept her apology. I don't know what I should do. I think my wife was wrong. I don't know if I should say anything, or just leave this alone. My family doesn't have any drama like this, they are very boring and they get along because no one bothers anyone else over their own life unless it is something dangerous or illegal. I have never experienced family drama like this or anyone cutting off contact with family before and I am not sure how to handle it. What should I be doing here? Do I need to do anything or should I just leave this alone? Thank you for reading. tl;dr: My wife is passionate about being a breastfeeding advocate. Her cousin's wife just gave birth to their first. Her cousin cut all contact with my wife and blocked her on online because she would not leave his wife alone about not breastfeeding. His wife has an autoimmune disease that makes it unsafe. My wife did not know but her cousin says it wasn't her business. I kind of agree. I'm not sure if I should be doing anything or staying out of the drama.
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Aug 3, 2017 05:18
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My (29F) husband (29M) gave me an ultimatum: lose 160 lbs or divorce. Not sure how to handle this. Very conflicted. submitted 4 hours ago * by Fatandupset531 K and I have been together almost 5 years, married about 3.5 years. I am 5'6" and weigh 320 lbs. I am obese. I recognize that and have known it for a long time. I also want to lose weight but have lacked the motivation thus far. K is also obese. He is 6'6" and 370 lbs-ish. We are both homebodies with hobbies that aren't very active. My job is sedentary as well (desk job). K wants me to lose half my weight, till I am 160 lbs. We have discussed my weight before and he tells me he'd like me to be skinnier, but that's about it. I have gained ~100 lbs over our 5 years together. He has gained about 80 lbs. 1 week ago, he told me that if I don't lose the weight in the next few years, he is going to divorce me. My head just about did the exorcist move. He said he just "can't help but think he could be with someone skinnier." He says he still loves me which is "why he's giving me time to change and not leaving me right now without telling me why". K is reasonably attractive but he is not a catch at this point in his life. No job currently, odd jobs off and on, no school, and I have been financially supporting him the ENTIRE time we have been together. He is about to start school next week to become an accountant. If I left him, he'd have a computer, some hockey gear, and some clothes. Everything else he has is paid for by me. He'd be living at home with Mommy if it wasn't for me. I have a very successful job in the IT world and have given this man everything I could afford: car, brand new house, hockey gear, Xbox one, PS4, you name it. I have bought him everything he ever wanted if I could afford it. And thus far, he has been nice, caring, and trustworthy. Then this. I do not know how to process this. I am not angry at his feelings because you cannot help how you feel. I am responsible for my weight gain, not him. But I think an ultimatum demanding I lose all of this weight before he's done with the school THAT I AM PAYING FOR is outrageous. I think him telling me "he could be with someone skinnier" is outrageous. I think demanding anything loke that from someone who gives you literally everything is outrageous. I feel hurt and vulnerable and like I am worthless to him now. I am also mad as hell. I do not think you should give an ultimatum to your spouse. I tried to explain to him how and why he hosed this up, but he just gets angry and says I'm wrong. I have examples of how he could have done it better, but he says he couldn't. K says he is sorry that I am hurt but not sorry for saying it because "otherwise nothing would have changed". I think he's a giant rear end in a top hat and am seriously wondering why I am still with him. I do love him and am otherwise happy with him. He is normally very kind to me, we have similar interests and senses of humor, he helps aroubd the house when I ask, etc. But this has emotionally crippled me and I don't know what to do. I do plan to lose the weight though. Am I being an emotional woman? TL;DR Husband demanded I lose 160 lbs or he'd leave me even though he is wholly dependent on me for everything. Doesn't think he did anything wrong
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Aug 11, 2017 05:44
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The commentariat is theorizing that he's bluffing. He wants her to try to lose weight as she's paying for his college. If she loses the weight, he has a skinny wife and he didn't have to do anything. If she doesn't lose the weight, he got free college, and can dump her because she was already warned! They think that if she immediately went Pete on him, he'd change his tune extremely quickly. Hopefully she comes around.
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Aug 11, 2017 06:10
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I'm [23F] pulling my hair out over the fact that my bf [27M] is in trouble at work for acting aggressively and not watching his freakin mouth when speaking to coworkers. He wants me to hold him while he boohoos and I'm over it. Basically my bf thinks of himself as a fighter for justice at his job and takes it upon himself to try to tackle any perceived injustice that's happening. For instance: at some point a mix up had happened and he and a coworker weren't getting paid for sick days. He marched into his bosses office and raised his voice and demanded pay for both of them. Boss told him to watch his attitude but eventually both bf and other dude got their pay. Bf told the other guy but was never thanked. In fact, the other guy thanked God and went on with his day. I told him he needs to watch his mouth and using curses with his boss is immature. I also told him stop marching in there and demanding things for other people because none of your coworkers care about you, nor have they ever stuck their neck out for you. Theyre the smart ones!! Another instance, bf was leaving work an hour early because he felt he completes his work early every day, and that he carries the brunt of the work (this not requested of him. He picks up other people's slack because HE WANTS TO) Boss called him out and once again they got into a heated verbal argument where they got into each other's face. Boss told him to stop and just let him know who isn't working but bf continued leaving early because he feels that's his right. Bf also told me he believes that arguing means his boss respects him and that he's "basically" second in command. Again, I told him watch your drat mouth, you're not second in command, and you are replaceable as an employee. Watch your footing because if you keep taking a mile when offered an inch you'll fall off the cliff. Again, nope, he respects me and knows that I help him run things. He wont get rid of me, he needs me. Bf left early EVERY DAY since that conversation. ANOTHER instance, 3 fellow employees got in trouble for getting to work late the same day. It was a busy stressful day and their presence was sorely needed. They all trickled in with the latest being 20 minutes late due to the subway messing up. There's an employee-boss group chat where the boss chewed these three guys out and in the end wrote them all up. The boss also chewed out the rest of the employees and said that there was work that wasn't done and everyone needs to try harder. Bf of course is horribly distressed that they got in trouble because it "was only 20 minutes!!" And he was personally offended by the boss saying work needs to be finished. (If the shoe fits, huh?) So bf matches into bosses office and demands that boss tells him what exactly was not finished. Like, get any paperwork or get online and show him whats not finished. He also told boss that he should've asked him if the guys were late enough to warrant being in trouble. Aaaand they argued. And argued. Bf admitted that he was aggressive in speaking to boss and got in his face telling him that he didn't know how to run the place. Boss got in his face back and they were cursing at each other. Honestly, bf is very lucky his boss is a physically large gutsy guy and not easily frightened because if it was a different person with less patience I have no doubt that he would've been escorted off the premises. So boss told him he'd "handle him later." Bf kind of laughed it off and said since he's in a union nothing is going to happen to him. I told him AGAIN that you need to stop this! You can't bark at your boss and speak to people like you're in a bar fight. You can't bully people into listening to you, you cannot forget that you are REPLACEABLE. Bf told him he'd standing up for what's right since boss was taking his frustration out on everyone. I told him STOP TRYING TO SPEAK FOR YOUR COWORKERS. NO ONE ELECTED YOU AS A SPOKESPERSON. And no one has defended bf because you go to work to get paid! Not skate on thin ice for some rear end in a top hat that yells at the boss!! Bf assured me that what's right is right and that the Charlottesville protesters were hurt for standing for what's right, and that this is similar. Basically he's a good person being punished for trying to do what's good. Well, later came. 3 write ups at once for language + aggressiveness, leaving early, and disobedience, basically. 3 write ups means unpaid suspension, possibly termination in the worst instances. NOW HE'S UPSET. I asked him how many times I've told him to mind his drat business and act like he's got some sense. Now he's weepy and scared. His schedule will also be changing to graveyard shifts when he gets back (so he'll never see the boss again, basically) instead of his 7am-3pm. He said theyre still deliberating on if he'll be kept at all but theyre changing things around for the time being. I'm pulling my hair out and part of me honestly wants to leave. This is so stupid. So many chances were given to him! What the hell! I don't know what to do. He wants emotional support and cuddles and I can barely look at him right now. I've never felt so disgusted and unattracted to anyone the way I feel right now. What is the next step when you've been telling someone something they refused to listen to and now they want your help? I am so, so angry. Tl;dr: bf acted like an rear end multiple times and finally got in trouble for it. What happens after "I told you so"? Am I really supposed to support him through this?
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Aug 16, 2017 07:12
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http://www.theonion.com/article/area-ceo-likes-to-think-of-family-as-small-close-k-34852
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Aug 30, 2017 22:37
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A Wizard of Goatse posted:Literally never heard of "work wives" offline but then I don't tend to roll with goobers who think they're Don Draper 
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Aug 31, 2017 18:58
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I agree with you. I once dated a magician who fed me alfredo and then later told me it had his semen in it. I dated him for a year and a half of hell.
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Aug 31, 2017 19:02
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My [28M] friend [30M] is doing this "365 day gently caress Challenge" and its causing difficulties in our group My group of friends is about 10 guys late 20's-early 30's from university. We were all in the same fraternity and most of us still live and work in the same city we went to school in. Some of us are definitely more "fratty" than others, I'm towards the not so much end of the spectrum and this guy is sometimes the stereotype you'd imagine. Partying a lot, 4 day benders, lots of hookups from clubs and bars. He's got another group of friends that are his club buddies and he goes partying with them more often than he does with us since a lot of us aren't as interested any more. So some of those guys and him are doing this 365-day gently caress challenge, which is they try to have sex every day straight for a year. He said he's on the "Easy level" which is just having sex with someone every day, but a couple of the others are on the "Hard level" which is they have sex with a different woman every day and can't repeat any of them. Also prostitutes are cheating and don't count apparently. A few guys in my group find this funny but the rest of us find it to be getting annoying and immature. He's been doing this challenge since june. He's had a few consistent fwb's but prefers to hang out with the guys who are doing "hard mode" and try to pick up new women in clubs each night, which means he hangs out with us a lot less. Sometimes a few of us will just want to stay in and game or watch TV and he looks down on that as lame. Or we go out together but he ends up ditching with whatever girl he's met. Basically he's acting like he's 10 years younger than he is but even then he wasn't as out of control as he is now. Most of us ended up confronting him about it last night, because a couple of our fraternity friends who live in another state have come to visit for a few days and he was supposed to come hang out with all of us last night. He didn't show up and when I texted he was completely smashed and said he totally forgot, then he sent a pic of a girl's rear end in the club and said to show the friends who were visiting "what he was banging tonight." They were a bit miffed he'd blown them off. The rest of us were kind of embarrassed. I don't know what his deal is, he's always been the biggest drinker and partier in the group but not like this even in college. These other guys he's friends with go at it much harder. Is there anything to be done here? A couple people want to talk to him but you can never know when he'll be sober. When he's drunk or high everything is a joke and it would go nowhere. Also for what it's worth those of us who have girlfriends our girlfriends don't like him. He also sometimes tries to hit on them even when we're there and has gotten girls to cheat on people with him before. He can't hold a stable job either. Tl;dr there's a guy in my friend group who's obsessed with getting laid each day for the whole year. He's on a 3-month streak right now since he started this in June and is almost always partying to meet girls and hookup. He's condescending about how we're boring to hang out with compared to his clubbing buddies. He drunkenly forgot about our other friends visiting and didn't care. Me and my friends are getting tired of it.
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Sep 1, 2017 00:38
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My [24F] boyfriend [23M] won't let me use a menstrual cup We have been in a relationship for 3 years and have been living together the past 6 months. Things have been going great until he found my menstrual cup (that I have yet to use) and wanted to know wtf it was. When I explained what it was for, he got freaked out and said he wasn't comfortable with it. I asked him what made him uncomfortable about it, and he said he was worried about the cup permanently stretching out my vagina and making me "loose." I told him that vaginas don't work like that but he was adamant that long term use will have a negative effect and thinks our sex life will suffer because I might get "too loose." Anyways he ended up throwing away the cup and is upset with me for being mad about it. tl;dr: My boyfriend won't let me use a menstrual cup because he thinks it will "ruin" my vagina.
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Sep 3, 2017 17:15
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Me [23 F] with my friend [23 F] of 2 years, I'm visiting her and she wants me to pay her[new] (self.relationships) So, let me explain my title :: (Also, throwaway because a lot of my friends know my real username) I have a friend *Rachel of 2 years that I met back in 2015. We hit it off immediately. Myself, Rachel, and our friend *Leslie all became the three musketeers and super close best friends two years ago -- we all met each other at the same time through a networking event. We hung out almost every weekend and sometimes during the week. I can see myself being lifelong friends with the two of them. Rachel recently moved to Los Angeles, and Leslie and I still live in Oakland, CA. Rachel moved to LA permanently because she wants to become an actor and is now living there while she auditions part time and then works at a restaurant part time as a hostess (she's said herself that she's always broke). She is really home sick already and really wanted me and Leslie to visit her. We wanted to see her too so we accepted the invitation and were in the process of booking ourselves some flights. For a background, I work as an engineer and Leslie works as a nurse, so we do get decent pay and aren't really struggling to make ends meet, but it's not like we're super rich or anything. Both of us have to pay $150 for the flights each and aren't getting paid at work the one day we're taking off, which is fine with us. What rubbed me the wrong way is that when we asked our friend Rachel if she could pick us up from the airport she said, "The airport is 1-1.5 hours from my house, so can you guys give me $5-$10 for gas money?" It's definitely not about the money for me, when I'm spending hundreds already to get down to LA, I can pay $5. The whole thing that bothers me is the fact that she is asking us to pay gas money when she is the one that invited us and was insistent on us coming and since we're coming down there for her, why we would have to pay..Also as an FYI- me and Leslie are staying in her room in LA where we are sleeping on the floor. Hopefully I make sense :/ Thoughts? tl;dr: friend wants us to pay gas money for ride to airport
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Sep 5, 2017 04:37
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Husband [28M] subscribed to "The Red Pill" and now I [27F] feel manipulated. My (27f) husband (28m) and I have been together for 6 years, married for 3. We welcomed our first child just over a year ago. Since the birth of our son, our marriage has been really rough. During the first few months after he was born, my husband had a mental breakdown. He couldn't handle Fatherhood and I had no support whatsoever. He finally agreed to go to counseling, and it helped, but he stopped after maybe 5 or 6 sessions. Anyway... A few days ago my husband left his Reddit account logged in on the computer. I found it and went through it. (I feel somewhat guilty, but not really considering what I found.) He follows the 'marriedredpill' subreddit. Curious, I looked into it and I'm horrified at what The Red Pill encourages. He started acting strange about 6 months ago and I questioned him for weeks about what was going on and he just dismissed me like I was crazy until he finally admitted that he was just trying to improve on some things. Please understand, Hubby has taken a backseat in life for as long as I've known him. He's always been lazy and unmotivated, so for our entire relationship I've been the "take charge" person, because if I didn't, nothing would ever get done. My sister-in-law said it best when she said, he's always needed someone to push him. I told him I fully supported him, but he doesn't need to hide anything from me. Well, his behavior became increasingly disrespectful and just downright mean. Examples from over the last 6 months: --- One night he kind of hinted that he wanted sex, but it was vague so I flat out asked him. His response, Only if you're into it. No sex is better than bad sex. (Wtf?!?! Didn't realize there was a problem there, but still a super rude way to bring it up!) --- Started dressing up and insisting on leaving the house for weird reasons. (Made me furious thinking he was cheating) --- When we argue, he'd just tell me the conversation was over and leave, leaving nothing resolved. He also once laughed at me when I was telling him how upset he made me. (I hit the roof! Just thinking about that makes my blood boil.) --- He'd make plans without asking me and would basically just tell me that we're going. --- If he thought I was ordering him around because I didn't say please or thank you, he'd go on a power trip. He said he was trying to "train" me. Anyway, since reading about The Red Pill obsessively over the last few days, I'm seeing where these new behaviors are coming from. I'm shocked and disgusted that he would try to 'ghost' or 'dread' me. I've never felt so manipulated in my life. The past 6 months feel like mental and emotional abuse and I don't know how I can ever trust him again. I know I need to bring it up and talk to him about it, but what the hell do I say?! And if he thinks he can treat me horribly to make me into a submissive wife, is the marriage over already? I'm so incredibly lost.... Any advice is appreciated! TL;DR: My husband [28M] subscribed to "The Red Pill", and he has been actively engaged and involved in that community; I [27F] feel manipulated.
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Sep 6, 2017 06:53
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My (28F) brother (25M) freaked out on my mom (58F) because she had sex with someone else before my dad - over 35 years ago. There's always been something wrong with Aaron, my brother. He has always had difficulty making and maintaining friends. He's had one girlfriend who I set him up with. He's always been "off," I knew it as a kid too. He's never been diagnosed with anything, but I suspect maybe he is borderline aspergers? He's very awkward, like a social defect. You'd pick up on it after talking to him for a while; at first you wouldn't even notice. He is fully functioning and has a full time job, and lives home with my parents. On his very first day of REAL work at a REAL full time government job, he told his coworkers he enjoyed yugioh cards- just awkward and OFF. He's supposedly saving up for a house and will move out once he has enough for a down payment. He's fat and lazy too, sitting in his room on YouTube a day. Aaron comes over on Friday nights to hang out with my husband and I. We have fun, watch horror movies, go out to eat, etc. Last Friday night, Aaron and I started joking about what a joke sex education is here in the USA. We started joking about how our parents taught us abstinence and how dumb that concept is. I told him about this dorky sex education book my mom gave me when I was a kid to make sure I knew the proper names of male/female anatomy. I made a joke about how mom banged other guys before marriage (probably) but I was to remain abstinent. It was all light and humorous. Apparently the next (Saturday)morning, Aaron barged into my mom's bedroom while she was asleep, angrily telling her "you weren't a virgin when you met Dad!!! U/wherethelootat told me!!!" My mom angrily texted me asking what was going on. He woke her up, upset and angry, because she probably had intimate relationships before my dad. Wtf? She coddled and comforted Aaron afterwards. She was afraid we'd stop inviting Aaron over and be mad at him since he has no other friends. I haven't spoken to my brother since my barrage of angry texts and phone calls to his voicemail demanding to know what the gently caress is going on. My mom babies Aaron and they have always been close and always snuggling and cuddling, just weird for his age. He will play with and smell her hair between his fingers. But like I said, there is something off with my brother. There's something off with my mom as well- she's like my brother. Something ever so slightly off. I'm not suggesting anything weird like incest. They just seem like they have some sort of social defect. I've decided not to see or talk to my brother again until he explains himself. I am so embarrassed." TLDR: my brother is weirdly angry that my mom wasn't chaste before she met my mom. Should I not talk to him anymore? Is there an explanation why someone would be like this?? I feel sicked out by the whole thing. We are not religious, just basic white people living an average life.
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Sep 6, 2017 21:21
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taking a break from reddit to enjoy Dear Prudie: Q. Daughter’s friend being in wedding: My 27-year-old daughter and her best friend, Katie, have been best friends since they were 4. Katie practically grew up in our house and is like a daughter to me. My daughter recently got engaged to her fiancé and announced that Katie would be the maid of honor (Katie’s boyfriend is also a good friend of my future son-in-law). The problem is that Katie walks with a pretty severe limp due to a birth defect (not an underlying medical issue). She has no problem wearing high heels and has already been fitted for the dress, but I still think it will look unsightly if she’s in the wedding procession limping ahead of my daughter. I mentioned this to my daughter and suggested that maybe Katie could take video or hand out programs (while sitting) so she doesn’t ruin the aesthetic aspect of the wedding. My daughter is no longer speaking to me (we were never that close), but this is her big wedding and I want it to be perfect. All of the other bridesmaids will look gorgeous walking down the aisle with my daughter. Is it wrong to have her friend sit out?
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Sep 6, 2017 22:47
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dudeness posted:I'm still laughing about this guy having sex with a woman that he doesn't find at all attractive. Then he gets confused that she may have interpreted having sex to mean that there is something between them. http://www.theonion.com/blogpost/i-didnt-mean-to-lead-you-on-by-loving-you-10673
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Sep 7, 2017 18:39
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Death to all pranksters http://jezebel.com/youtube-couple-r...dium=socialflow
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Sep 14, 2017 21:14
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I [20F] use a Hitachi Magic Wand to treat my fibromyalgia. My parents [50s MF] are convinced I'm a harlot and confiscated it. This wouldn't be so bad on its own, but now the whole family knows and the pastor is visiting our house tomorrow. My life feels like it's been ripped right out of a sitcom. This'll probably be funny when I look back on it one day, but right now I just want to die. So. I have fibro, it sucks, and the diagnosis was recent enough that I haven't really figured out what works for me just yet. My doctor recommended that I try massaging the affected areas. I went to a masseuse and just about cried from the pain, so after some research I went to a sex toy store in the next town over and picked up a Magic Wand. It's seriously magic. 10/10, the name is accurate and after I use it I can slip off to sleep almost immediately. Now, disclaimer: I know it's used as a sex toy. I really don't care that it's used as a sex toy. I say, be safe and have fun. I do not use this one as a sex toy, however, since I just want to limit its exposure to bodily fluids. Yeah, I could probably clean it well enough, but using the same massager on my, well... bits and bobs that I just used on my feet is a no go for me. But you do you! Have all the sexy times in the world with yours. It's probably life changing. I might get a second one one day. Who knows. Anyway. I'm living at home while I study at university because I cannot afford both all the medical costs of having fibro and rent on an apartment. My parents wanted me to stay, too, because they really do love me and are worried about my wellbeing. We usually get along really well. This, however, fell apart completely when my younger sister went into my room and went rifling through my bureau, only to uncover my massager. She brought it to my mom, who was horrified (pre-marital anything is not even remotely okay in her books) and who immediately called my father. Who called the pastor. Who will be here tomorrow to discuss my urges. Things haven't generally been stable as of late at my place. Recently, we got the call that my grandma was going into a hospice and that she'd probably never leave. My grandma is extremely religious. My father is extremely close to her. It's been hard. There's been a huge uptick in church involvement over the past two months and I know it's because of Nana and the fact that my father can't cope with what's happening. He's cancelled our cable, limited internet usage, asked me to donate some of my less conservative clothes. I love him, so I've been doing what I can. I know this will pass and that he just needs us to help him do what he needs to do right now. Last week, though, he took the locks off my door and my brothers', replacing them with those handles that don't even click shut properly, but that kind of latch delicately and can be pushed open with a tap. My brothers and I held our tongues at our mother's request. She said he is trying to foster the same levels of openness and trust that his family had when he was a kid and that he's not doing it to be mean... a completely delusional fantasy, imho, if what I've heard about Nana is correct. Nonetheless, he wants us to stop hiding from him in case we lose him like we're losing his mom. He now thinks I've been abusing his trust all this time by furiously masturbating my life away and now I'm caught in the middle of a family spat. He even called his siblings for advice. Literally everyone in my family tree now thinks I'm some deviant. (And even if I were masturbating my life away... so what?) Now, this all sounds a bit batshit loony tunes, I know, but my Nana is a JustNoMIL straight from the house of Satan himself. She abused my dad growing up, made him feel lovely and worthless, and now that she's dying I think he's having some sort of mental health crisis. Mom is trying to keep the ship afloat, but with four kids still at home there's only so much she can do. My dad keeps talking about trust and openness and about Nana as if she shat gold bricks and truly loved him and it's not lining up with anything he's told us, ever, about his mom. Cue my little sister. It's just the two of us girls in a sea of boys, so I let her come into my room and play dress up and whatever. I'm particularly protective of her because our brothers are 14, but she's only 7, and I need to look out for her since my mom is too tired to shut down all the pranks my brothers pull. We used to sleep in the same room, but my two older brothers moved out and now we have enough space for us to be in separate rooms while my brothers (twins) share one. Knowing this, I keep my massager in the drawer with all my pads, tampons, underwear, bras, etc. It's a drawer she never goes into because ew, adulthood. Still, I've already forgiven her for starting this mess because I still should have known better. Tomorrow the pastor is coming to speak to me about the importance of "faith and chastity" and how my fibro will be made worse(?) if I continue to sin in the house of my parents(???). This is the pastor from the church my Nana grew up in and raised her family in. Once upon a time, they were apparently normal-ish, but mom says that when dad was born, their old pastor left and the new guy tied everything positive to having an "abundance of faith" while not being successful was because of an "abundance of sin". My dad is the least successful of Nana's 7 kids, so part of his current family fixer upper scheme is to clean out the abundance of sin, hence the sudden intervention. I don't want to talk to our 36 year old pastor about my massager. He can be nice, but he's also very, very pushy and tries to maintain an uncomfortably close relationship with his flock at all times. I've explained time and time again that I use it for fibro. My parents know my doctor requested that I try massage, but they said that this went "too far" and that I was abusing my diagnosis to sin. I'm really tired and cranky and the pain just keeps getting worse, but they don't care. Reddit, what do I do? TL;DR: my parents found the massager I use for my fibro and assumed I was masturbating. Family drama is making them assume the worst and now everyone knows, including the pastor, who is coming over to correct my sinning ways.
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Sep 21, 2017 01:35
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My [66M] wife [64F] took away our grandson [3M] toy because she thought a Pokemon is scary for him. It's caused a fight between my daughter [28F] and wife and my wife is refusing to apologise. I am not a regular Reddit user. I write here as a act of reaching out because I don't know who to talk too. The fight is causing huge problems. I side more with my daughter than I do my wife on this. My grandson has this favourite toy. It's more a teddy bear than anything. He's had it since the start of the year. It's Pokemon doll of this T-Rex Pokemon. I don't know the name, but it looks like a T-Rex. My wife decided without consulting his mother that it was too scary for him. He takes it with him wherever he goes. She snatched it away and it caused tears. I got in an argument with her initially when I asked her what she thought she was doing. My daughter arrived to pick him up and she walked in on the tears. He told her that my wife took his toy away. My wife and daughter got into this huge argument over the toy. My daughter is not speaking to my wife because of the words that were said. Help me fix the relationship. tl;dr: My daughter and wife's relationship is seriously damaged because of my wife taking away my grandsons toy for no reason other than she thought it was too scary for him. What are the words that were said, you ask? "It started off as the argument about the toy. It continued along those lines. My wife said something along the lines of the boy's father is probably back at the strip club where he met you. My daughter was a dancer there during her Uni days. I only found out during her separation from him. That was the line that really kicked it off. Then they started to argue about my wife thinking she's the boss of everything. She was refusing to give it back the toy the whole time. Said my daughter can't pick out good toys to save her life. Then she decided to say that she's a terrible mother because this toy is going to give him nightmares. She threatened to throw the toy out. My daughter responded with some pretty venomous things herself."
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Sep 21, 2017 06:58
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My [23m] fiancée [23f] pissed in my shampoo bottle as a "prank." Is it an overreaction to break up with her? My fiancée has never been a person to prank people. So that is why I was extremely surprised when she decided this would be a good idea. I was in the shower and put my shampoo in my hair, and I could just smell pee. I finished my shower and used different shampoo and came out. When I finished i came out the bathroom and the fiancée just started laughing. I asked her what was so funny, and she asked if I liked the shampoo. I asked her what did she do, and she said she peed in the bottle! ""Got yooo babe"" I demanded she apologised and told her that It was downright disgusting and a really horrible thing to do. She said that it was just a joke and that I'm being overly sensitive. I told her it was over and I went to my brothers for the night. I've been getting non stop messages from her. Saying sorry and that I'm just silly for reacting like this. My brother laughed when I told him but he said ending it is my choice and if I can't forgive her, then don't. I don't want to get back with my EX fiancée. I did not like her foolish prank. However, my mother said that I'm being to mean and that she wouldn't have meant any harm. My ex fiancée is in bits and I do feel bad. But I also feel betrayed. Tldr ; fiancée pulled a horrible prank. I don't want to forgive her. I broke up with her. Mother said I'm being to mean.
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Sep 24, 2017 00:22
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Gf [24F] is insecure about her intelligence among my classmates/colleagues at law school. Starts unnecessary, cringe-y debates and uses words incorrectly. How do I [26M] ask her to stop without hurting her feelings? I met my girlfriend "Nicki" 6 months ago at a local gym for a fitness class. She was working as a trainer at the time, and I thought she was gorgeous, funny, and sweet and we started dating shortly after that. She has since switched jobs and works in an administrative/support role in a small company in the city. I think she's doing really well and I'm really proud of her, but she has a LOT of insecurities about herself that's been getting to me as well. Here's what bothers her. I'm a 2L law student at a highly ranked law school (top 5 in US) in our city. I'm not saying it to brag, but because Nicki brings it up ALL the time when we're together. All the time. She talks about how we must look down at all the "locals" and how our lives have been so different, etc. I try to understand her feelings and we've had countless talks about our lives, my privileges, her dreams, and on. Well, her insecurities come and go, but they REALLY come out when we are hanging with my friends/classmates. This may sound mean but Nicki tries really hard to come off as intelligent when we're with these people, to the point where her attempts are a little embarrassing. She also gets really aggressive and "challenges" people to random debates at inappropriate times (like someone's birthday dinner), usually on subjects she knows very little on. She has a habit of interjecting a bunch of random, complex-sounding words into her speech without knowing what they mean. Such as "god the situation in North Korea is such a facetious catch-22" or nonsensical things like that. I don't know what she's trying to say most of the time so I can't help the discussion, and my friends just look confused and try to work with it out of politeness. It would be easy to talk to her about this if it weren't for her sensitivity about this in particular. She genuinely thinks my friends are really impressed with her "because they're stunned silent!" when they're actually just confused. As a result she's been doing it more and more. I have no idea how to approach her without implying that she's been using these words incorrectly/making nonsense arguments. I once corrected her on the use of one word "conflagration" which she thought was a fancy word for "meeting" and I have never seen her so mad at me. She didn't talk to me for 3 days. I know she was beyond embarrassed and it struck her in the heart of her insecurities, but still, it wasn't a good response. How do I approach her and talk to her about her misguided attempts to seem smart in front of my friends? She genuinely thinks they're impressed, and I know I'd hurt her so much if I told her otherwise. But if I don't she'll keep going and honestly it's getting ridiculous. So, how can I let her know without setting off her insecurities and getting mad at me? tl;dr: Gf uses a lot of words/phrases incorrectly in order to seem smart in front of my classmates. It can get really embarrassing but she is really sensitive about her intelligence and thinks she's being impressive. How to gently let her know otherwise?
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Sep 25, 2017 08:34
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The friendship between me [26F] and my friend [46 M] is turning into a trainwreck. Is he the problem, or am I over-reacting? So when I moved here, I met a guy. Let's call him James. He was nice, into the same poo poo I was, and I didn’t have many friends, so I was grateful to have someone. At this point, I identified as gay. He made it clear he was into me when we first started hanging out, and I politely shot him down, (Due to the fact he's 20 years older than me and I'm not attracted to him), and we went on. He made it clear that being friends with me was fine, and he has a lot of friends, including women, that genuinely are just friends, and of a broad age spectrum. 23-47 would be my guess. (I also have friends now in a broad age spectrum, which is how it's always been for me.) At this point, I was also new in town. I didn’t have many other friends, and I hadn’t been around town, so I didn't have opinions on things. I was still exploring. For a while, things were okay. We went out places, he introduced me to people. We have a friend's group (People right around my age) that does stuff together and we're part of the same DnD groups now. All of this is fine. Until recently. It's been six months and things are now falling apart. Problem #1. When I started going out with a woman named Claire, he ran a background check on her, via his friend at the police department. He found out everything from her high school GPA to her credit score, and then "approved" her for me. When I told him about the latest person I was into, he made it clear he planned to do the same for them, asking for his last name. He lacks boundaries of what's acceptable to do. He thinks because he wants to know something, he has every right to know it. Last Saturday, I had to clean my apartment, I'd been puttig it off for weeks, and I finally snapped. It was really, really bad. I just finished lunch and was about to start cleaning when I received a message from James on Facebook. He had turned on Live Location. And was parked outside my apartment. I told him I wasn't going anywhere, I had to clean. "No, you don't." Yeah, I did. I had to fight with him to get him to stop trying to get me out of the apartment. So he stayed. For 4.5 hours and waited for me to finish cleaning. I did and we went out for pizza. It took me a few days to realize this was not okay. He should've accepted that I didn't want go anywhere and left me alone. Problem #2. He acts entitled to my time and doesn't like it when I am unavailable. I told him that I had a sports thing for work and would miss movie night with our friends. "Skip the thing." It's for charity. "So?" I want to go. "No, you don't, you wanna hang with us." I can do that some other time. I'm sorry. "Just come after." I have no idea how late it will go. "That's fine, come after you're done." Dude, I'm gonna wanna go home and shower. "No, you'll come to move night." (This is a real, almost verbatim, conversation we had in the past week.) So, this weekend, my dad came to visit me for the first time since I moved. I told my friends he was coming a few months back. James immediately asked when he'd be meeting him. "What makes you think you will?" "I meet everyone." I explained to him back on Friday that no one would be meeting my father or my brother. He basically pouted. We were to have a nice, family weekend, and I'd see everyone on Monday. My family showed up Friday evening, and left this morning. They never met my friends, and James has not spoken to me in that time. The longest he's gone without saying anything to me since I moved here. Problem #3 - He acts entitled to my life. If it's happening, he has the right to be a part of it. He doesn't really ask, or wait to be invited. I made sure not to mention places my family and I were in our Facebook group chat (James, I and two other friends) on the fear he would "randomly" show up. I recently enrolled in Community College. I found out how much I would be receiving in financial aid. I expressed to my friends that I was planning on buying a netbook to take to class. My one friend just told me not to feel pressured to buy the one in the campus bookstore, they tend to be cheaply made. I can spend the money anywhere, so I should do my research. If I want help, let him know. James, however, immediately answered, "If I were you, I wouldn't get a netbook." I immediately told him I was telling him what I planned to do. Not asking his opinion. The conversation came to an abrupt halt and we barely spoke to each other for the remainder of the evening. Problem #4 - When I first moved here, I did ask his opinion on things because I was new and didn't know about this place. Now I have plans and opinions of my own making and he acts as though I'm being a b*tch because I'm not tolerating his constant "guidance" anymore. The thing that really tipped the scales and threw everything into mayhem for our friendship was my most recent relationship development. I said there was someone at work I was into. He asked what her name was. "Adam." Me dating women was fine, but when I started dating people who were male and not him, things were... touchy at best. Problem #5 - Things were fine when I was dating women, but as soon as I showed interest in guys who were him, things got awkward. Yes, I did flirt with him. I also flirted with literally all of my other friends. I am a natural flirt. This means nothing and all of my friends know that. One of my male friends, upon finding out about me being bi, dropped a hint he'd be into dating me. I playfully declined and it did not affect our friendship. James is acting as though me dating men who aren't him is some kind of betrayal. For a while, my friend Bianca and I were planning on being roommates with James, 4-bedroom apartments are common around here, and we all hate living alone. It seemed like a good idea. Then Bianca and I talked about it, away from James, and we both agreed it's a terrible idea because James has this attitude that if we are doing something alone, watching TV, playing a video game, we should want to do it with him. Alone time wouldn't exist for either of us. In the words of Bianca, "We would never be able to excuse ourselves from whatever plans he makes." Problem #6. Lack of respect for boundaries. Again. I expressed concerns about being smart enough to get my degree, or qualified to get the job I wanted. "You'll be fine. You'll get it." And not in an encouraging "what can I do?" kind of way. In a condescending way like I'm being ridiculous for having concerns. And he does this about a lot of things. He knows I have an anxiety disorder, so it's like none of my anxieties are rooted in reality. Problem #7. He acts like my concerns and anxieties are just me being silly and he never takes me seriously when I'm unhappy or worried about something. Recently, we went out to lunch with a couple of friends. I was telling our friend Ashton about a comedian on Netflix, (Iliza Shlesinger). I was explaining how much I love her and I feel like if I were a comedian, I'd have the same sense of humor as her. James replied, "All you need is a sense of humor." I asked why he did that, always trying to piss me off randomly. "I do it. I don't try." Fine, why do it at all? "It's how I show love." "If that's love, you can shove it up your rear end, I don't need it." The rest of the meal was awkward between the two of us. Problem 8. He "roasts" me whenever he likes and laughs when I get upset. I told him I wasn't sure I wanted to go home for Christmas because of my family. He started making plans for us to take my car down to Florida to be with his family for the holidays. Problem 9. He acts like we're dating when we're clearly not. He left his hoodie in my car. As a joke, I told him I was keeping it. I expect him to fight for it back. Nope. If anything, he encouraged me to keep it and wear it. I only managed to get him to take it back by throwing it in his car window right before he drove away. tl;dr: Friend has plethora of boundary issues and acts like me dating men who aren't him is some kind of betrayal. Am I right to be upset by this behavior? Should I have known better than to try to have male friends? Or is this just how some guys are?
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Sep 25, 2017 15:24
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WrenP-Complete posted:Wait; what is a Kotaku elephant? (My phone apparently knows that word. It's a tech publication right?) Kotaku is a video game website. Some people use it as a buzzword for stereotypically left-leaning, hyper-critical, social justice analysis of media. So when the guy used it, he was basically saying that people were being too sensitive/male-hating/denying reality, etc. Elephant just comes from elephant in the room.
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Sep 25, 2017 18:14
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After about a month of complaining to HR with other female coworkers, we finally got this creepy coworker of ours unceremoniously fired! I feel like we scored one for all STEM girls in the house! It's the regular brogrammer stuff: dude is totally socially-awkward, never talks to anyone, never smiles, when you tell him to cheer up he gets angry and gives you these silly "death stares"... This is more job-related, but he seems to be extra mean in code reviews (for those who don't know about programming, it's when a programmer "reviews" the code another programmer wrote) when the reviewee is a woman. He only talks to male coworkers, although not much, but female coworkers, he shuns. Answers in monosylabes, cuts the conversation short and in a couple of times he's been very rude when doing that. But what really tilted the field for us was, who are acustomed to these "low-key woman-haters", was when one of my coworkers caught him reading an MRA site and making comments about how women get hired in our field only because the companies need a diversity quota. We brought this concern to HR (which has been amazing in my time here, really trying to make the whole place a welcoming one for all people and not just virgin white men) and they had a talk to him. I don't know what he said, but he ended up being fired. (this caused an enormous shitstorm where people thought she was bullying an autistic guy out of a job. Thread got really spicy when she accused him of being a virgin. Eventually the whole thing got locked.)
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Sep 26, 2017 06:32
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I [24m] hosed up. I gave a key to my ex [23f] while I went out of town with my new gf [23f] so she can get the remainder of her things out and to take care of the animals. While coming home tonight she said she broke 4 of my gfs paintings she made me. I hosed up bad because I don’t want my girlfriend to think I’m still messing around with my ex because I gave her a key while I was gone. I called my girlfriend when I got home and said she broke in. And destroyed her paintings. I’m already loving up bad because I not only kept the first fact from her, but now I lied to her. My gf wanted me to call the police and report it because she said she put a lot of time and effort into those paintings and they were for her art show next month. I didn’t make the call and I am waiting for her to call me now. Tldr: I gave my ex a key to get the rest of her things while I was gone with my gf and she broke paintings my gf made me. I’m digging myself a hole and need help. the reason he didn't call the police is because his ex has a restraining order and he didn't want her to go to jail
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Sep 27, 2017 08:32
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My[24m] gf[19f] of 7 months has BPD. Today she assaulted me, almost through my dog out a window, and is now talking to her ex who she cheated on me with during a previous 'episode'. I'm numb and tired. I'm still in her room at the moment gathering my belongings. Clearly there's no option other than leaving, but I feel so dumbstruck that I'm confused on how to approach this situation. I had to physically grab her to prevent her throwing my dog out of the (first floor) window. She had been pushing, kicking, and swinging her fist at me while I was packing my clothes and grabbing my toiletries. She grabbed a few of my things and smashed them by tossing them onto the floor or out the window. She left without a goodbye, she was just unstable and angry and crying so I backed off. I've sadly grown used to these episodes but this is the worst it's ever been, I feel I'm ready to pack up and go. This wasn't caused by an argument or anything, most of the time it starts with a small mood change and just snowballs uncontrollably. The last time she told me she didn't care about me and wanted me gone, it ended with her holding me and crying and apologizing. This time I intend on being gone when and if she calms down. Right now I'm unsure if I should stay or not to say my goodbyes in person as I always would prefer to do, but I just don't see any reason for it, this is a burnt bridge since I'm unwilling to accept an apology and I'm certain she's unwilling to apologize. The second bit I'm confused about is how to handle it with her family. Do I just leave without saying anything to them? They've been incredibly kind to me, plus the kids in the family love me and constantly ask about me. A major issue for me right no is imagining their reaction to me either disappearing or saying I'm leaving. It's a lengthy drive back home and it appears she won't be home tonight. Would I be better off just sleeping here before hitting the road or should I just park at a roadstop given the circumstances? She was my best friend. I stuck around through all the lows because the highs were greater than any connection I've had with another person. I'm unsure how to handle this. As of right now I'm not trying to contact her because her go-to is just to block/reject people she does this to. tl;dr: Girlfriend hit me repeatedly and tried to throw my dog out of a window. While writing this I'm back to grab my stuff. Most of my relationships have been well and ended well so I'm confused on what to do in this situation. She will contact me as if nothing happened when she cools down, I want to be strong enough to end it here. edit2: Thankyou very much for all of your responses. My instinct was to go but hearing everyone's thoughts on it really secures that decision for me. The hardest and scariest part of this is how I'll be so certain I want to leave but then I find myself itching to just call or go back. Any advice on overcoming this is much appreciated. edit3: Despite being tired and some rainy weather, I went ahead and packed the car and started driving back home. The kids were heading to bed as i left and they cheerfully called my name.. i smiled and waved and cried while heading to the car. 'm currently parked at a truck stop to get some sleep and my pup is sleeping in a bundled up blanket. There are many comments I'd like to respond to but it might take a little while since I'm on mobile. I Just want to say I truly appreciate the help, i feel pretty lost and my mind keeps 'defaulting' to wanting to go back, and probably would have if not for the supportive and informative comments.
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Oct 6, 2017 07:19
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My (25M) wife (27F) died from a heroin overdose. Her dad asked me not to tell anyone how she died, and for a year I kept the promise until I drunkingly admitted she was an addict to her sister. Turns out, her sister is an addict to, and was the person who got my wife into heroin. My wife hid her heroin addiction from me extremely successfully, but to be fair, she only died 2 months after starting it. She would do it while I was away at work, and she would be sober by the time I was home. I didn't have a clue until I came home to her dead. There was fentanyl in the heroin she did. The only person I told was her dad, and he right away said to never tell anyone that, ever, because his family is heavily against addiction. I was told to tell them she had a bad reaction to her allergies (she had like, dozens upon dozens of allergies) and choked to death when her airways closed. They all knew her as a girl with a lot of allergies, it was easily believable. So I kept in contact with that family, and one day I went out to dinner with her sister and her sisters boyfriend. Boyfriend fell asleep and me and her sister had a nightcap, and I was pretty drunk at the time and we were talking about my wife and I just finally admitted the truth to her, she was a heroin addict. She just sighed and looked down and looked horribly sad suddenly. She said she knew she was a heroin addict, because she was the one who got her into heroin. She told me my wife was addicted to pills for a bit, then stole a small bump of H from her sister and then was addicted, and kept asking her sister for more and more and eventually her sister gave in and they were addicts together for a while. I was just astounded, not only did she know that my wife was doing heroin, but she was the one who got her into it. She is also still an addict, she showed me her marks on her arms. She said her father has no clue. I am not even sure what to do. I am very close with this family, I have been since I was 6 years old and grew up with them. In a way they are the family I never had. Its not like these people are 'just' my wifes family, I didn't even know my wife that well in the early years of growing up alongside them on our block. So I am really confused as to what to do. Should I tell the dad? Should I keep this secret to the grave? I dont know. I really, really don't. I am very close with the dad, I babysit his kid 4 days a week (he has another kid who is 11 years old with a younger wife, his old wife died). tl;dr: Wife died of a heroin overdose, turns out it was her sister which got her into it. I dont know whether to tell the dad or not.
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Oct 6, 2017 22:41
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My[28m] girlfriend[27f] broke up with me over irreconcilable differences and my lack of manliness, she wants me back now after finding out I got a new job and am seeing someone else[24f] Girlfriend (now ex) and I dated for two and a half years. We did not live with one another, but would regularly spend the night each other's places. We wouldn't have many fights at all. In fact, of the women I dated my girlfriend was probably the most mature and level-headed. The main point that she was upset with me over was that I did a poor job in celebrating holidays and her birthdays but that was it. Eight weeks ago, she ended things with me, she said we had irreconcilable differences, she didn't like my politics, said that I was too goofy for her, and that she doesn't have a strong sense of passion for me. I asked her if she ever did, she told me that she thought she did in the beginning but said that I didn't have that sense of composure and manliness and that the main reason she stayed for so long was because she already invested some of her best years with me. I don't know this was really a surprise to me, since I would say I got better looking since we started dating, while my girlfriend gained weight. But I told her if that's how she feels than we can end things. I deleted her off social media, she got angry at that said she wanted to be friends that we are such big parts of each other lives. I kept her deleted off social media, but I had her number still and linkedin. I was in the process at the time for interviewing for a new company, I ended up getting the job. Pay is considerably more than my last job, and I don't have to travel nearly as much. I told my close friends and my family about the job. But, then my close friends started bragging for me when we went out to celebrate. One of the interns I worked (now an employee) with at my old job gave me her number on my last day and we have hung out a couple times. This was surprising too, considering she is wayy more attractive than women I have dated in the past, and what I think I could get. Two days ago, I get a phone call from my ex-asking if she could drop by my place. She gets to my place tells me she wants to get back together and she starts crying. She said she was wrong with everything and realized that being alone how much she missed me. She said that when she went on Tinder she realized that I was better than all of the guys. And that her friends and parents called her an idiot for it. She did not once mention the job but she then asked me if I was seeing anyone else, aggressively too. I told her its a lot and I need to think about it. Now, I am in a part which I don't know what to do. I really love my ex, and well if her intentions are pure on wanting to get back together, than yes I want to get back together, if all that she said about our irreconcilable differences are wrong then yes. But I am worrying that she just wants me back because she heard about the new girl I was dating, and/or because of my new job. I can't be for sure anymore, and I don't trust what my ex is saying. Would love some advice from people with some solid dating experience under their belt, if she is being genuine or is it just jealousy. Tl;Dr- my girlfriend broke up with me saying we had irreconcilable differences. Suspiciously after I get a new job and start dating someone beautiful she wants to get back together with me saying she made a huge mistake. Would love some advice. hmmmmmm
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Oct 7, 2017 02:13
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mllaneza posted:And even better than you'd think with gin. That combo deserves a name. Not sure about gin, but grapefruit + tequila is a Paloma, which is apparently very popular in Mexico.
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Oct 7, 2017 22:00
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Me [30F] with my husband [31M] is convinced my father [60sM] is meddling with my ducks My parents live a few hours away so it makes sense that when they visit they stay in the guest room, right? My husband and I have noticed (and find it very odd) that whenever my father is staying there is a duck issue (I foster injured ducklings/orphaned ducklings until they are well enough to be released/rehomed. Only wild ducks are released into the wild, I am not one of those people who just dump a duck off at a pond etc) but anyway, my mother has stayed alone and there have been no problems so that rules her out of the picture. Whats been happening: About a year ago a duckling mysteriously managed to escape (keep in mind this had NEVER happened before) and he was the only one who knew about it. I wasn't suspicious, I caught the duckling again, checked its enclosure, I couldn't see a way it could have gotten out so I popped it back in. It didn't get out again. Six months ago another duckling escaped while he was staying (keep in mind there had been no escapees since his last visit). It was the same situation, he was the one who found it running loose and when I put it back in there was no obvious way it could have gotten out. It didn't get out again. He is always making negative comments about them, saying they are too 'loud' etc. We also clash a lot (our personalities are very different). Anyway, the latest incident. The other night it was quite stormy, I had four decent sized ducklings outside for the night so I put them in their crate so they'd be safe. They were all perfectly fine the day before, no signs anything may be wrong. I let them out in the morning and one of them has died. I am seriously confused, it also looked like it had happened within the past hour or so. It had no blood on it either but another one had somehow had a piece taken out of its beak, it was bleeding. I was very upset and took the live ones inside to see what else I could find and to tend to its beak (which will be fine, thankfully). He was not surprised when he heard the news one had died, didn't say anything, only let out a loud sigh when I took the remaining three inside. Keep in mind when he is not here there are NO problems at all with the ducks! Absolutely no issues. My husband has noticed this and he is convinced that my father is behind the issues, thinks he heard them chirping when the sun came up and shook the crate so wildly he killed one and how one got an injured beak (there was a small pottery cat bowl in there and he thinks that is how it was injured). I thought maybe they had gotten spooked by something (it was stormy) and it had gotten trampled, it was the second smallest though but perhaps a bigger one somehow stood on its neck causing it to suffocate? I have had them (and 50+ other ducks over the years) spend a night in there before and had no issues. I asked my mother about it, doesn't she think it is odd etc and she said I was 'bringing up the past' when I mentioned how the ducklings escaped only when my father is here, never any other time. She was angry that my husband thinks he has something to do with the death of the duckling, said she didn't want a fight but became crazily defensive of him. and she became very upset, on the verge of tears. It was not a confrontational conversation, just a "Do you think he may have had something to do with it? We think he may have shaken the crate." TL;DR: Husband thinks my father is endangering my ducks and caused one to be killed. Edit: Will also add that when I was living at home he would run outside and chase them off the property, one time a small duckling became trapped in the property and before I could even do anything he had cornered it and threw it over the fence, the poor thing had tiny wings and would have landed quite hard. Edit #2: Have come to the conclusion that yes, it is him who has been doing all this. It's hard to wrap my head around the fact that someone, especially my own father is capable of doing such things. It makes me feel sick. He will not be staying over again, or spend any time in my home where he may have a moment to himself. Thanks to everyone for providing your opinion from an outsiders perspective.
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Oct 9, 2017 02:20
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Fiance[24M] went to great lengths to hide spilled ash at my parent's house. In the process, he ruined a mattress and got an Uber without telling anyone been together 4 years My fiance and I were staying at my parents' house. They don't really approve of us sleeping together in their house so we stayed in separate bedrooms. We went to bed and I guess my fiance decided it would be a great idea to smoke in my parent's house (it's not legal here) This itself isn't a huge deal as it's something I used to do. Probably not something I'd do when staying at his parent's house but whatever. From what I gather, this is what happened: Fiance vaped a lot of weed and watched netflix. I could hear him giggling through the wall at this point and he wasn't checking his phone. Fiance was collecting abv for later use. He didn't have anything to put it in so he decided to hollow out my mom's display soap bar, put the abv in there, and cover it with foil he found in the closet. Obviously, this was a dumb idea. The abv spilled all over the bed after he laughed particularly hard. This is a rough estimate of what he did from what he's managed to tell me. He poured a bottle of water on the ash, and when that made it worse he began to scrub the spot with the bar of hollowed soap. He forgot there was more abv in there, making it worse yet again. In the end, there was a concoction of dish soap, vinegar, window cleaner and drain cleaner that soaked up into the mattress. The tiny spot of ash now led to a giant, soapy sopping wet area that covered 1/4 of a king bed. Fiance decided, high out of his mind, that his only coarse of action was to get an uber and leave. He didn't tell me he was leaving and we discovered this massive mess in the morning. He didn't answer his phone until an hour ago and he sent me a text apologizing and saying that he panicked and would refund the mattress. He hasn't sent me anything else I don't know what to do. He isn't replying to any of my texts or calls now. My parents are furious and telling me that I'm making a huge mistake to marry someone who would abandon me like that tl;dr: fiance left a huge mess at parents and gtfo. Not responding to texts/calls anymore
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Oct 9, 2017 05:17
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Boyfriend [26M] thinks a Game of Thrones joke between me [24F] and my brother [27M] was actually serious. My brother and I started a small business together last year. This past weekend was the anniversary of the opening and we had a little celebration with our family which of course my boyfriend (of about 9 months) was also invited. So I said let's toast to our business, let this be the beginning of "House X of Easteros" (our family name instead of X, easteros because were live on the east coast). Everyone laughed and we drank. Then my brother said as the eldest child he is the Lord, and me as his little sister still have not bent the knee to him. He then said "come here my lady and bend the knee to your lord". So I stood up and did a curtsy and said "My Lord" and laughed. Yesterday my boyfriend asked me if I really "bent the knee" to my brother, as in I'm now going to surrender my will to him. I laughed and said it was obviously a joke. This morning he once again told me that he doesn't think it was a joke and he thinks my brother actually took that seriously and will expect me to be obedient. I said no it was a joke. Just now he texted me and said "look I get you think it was a joke but I don't and if your brother became controlling or tried to take over the business from you know that you have options and I have your back. We'll discuss this later." I replied WTF which he hasn't replied to. I can't imagine how anyone could possibly think that was serious and he isn't dropping it after I told it to him 2 times in 2 days. Then he texted my brother and said "dude that bend the knee thing was a joke right?" Which my brother replied "No it was serious I'm actually looking for a good match for Lady (insert my name). You're lowborn so she can't marry you." My brother sent a screenshot of this conversation to me. I can't stop and think that he will take this seriously as well and this is going to be a weird conversation. What the hell am I supposed to do? tl;dr: Boyfriend think me and my brother's Game of Thrones joke about him being a Lord and me bending the knee was serious. Awkward conversations followed and will follow, because he asked my brother and my brother took it upon himself to make further jokes.
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Oct 18, 2017 05:20
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https://local.theonion.com/man-woman-experiencing-2-very-different-sexual-tension-1819591898
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Oct 20, 2017 03:36
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My (23f) parents (70M, 67f) 50th wedding anniversary party is the same night as the new Star Wars opening day. My boyfriend (27m) of 3 years just told me "Star Wars is a bigger deal than their anniversary." Is this something I can ignore or is this the relationship gods telling me to run like crazy? Hello r/relationships... Like the title says, my parents are coming up on 50 years of being married. They were a teenage romance in the 60s and rushed to get married so my mom could get benefits when my dad was drafted into Vietnam. They ended up having a great marriage, a military career (my dad retired as a 2-star general), 7 kids (I'm obviously the youngest...my next oldest brother is 34). They are still the sweetest couple and laugh and have a great time every day. They still travel the country in their RV and go to Europe and Asia at least once a year. In my view their marriage is model of what couples should strive for. On Tuesday, I got word that my oldest sister (47) is planning a surprise wedding anniversary party at the exact courthouse they were married 50 years ago. She is going all out and she and her husband are paying a boatload of money to fly all of us plus spouses, boyfriends and all the grandkids. It's an incredibly generous gesture and I can't imagine missing it. She is even offering to pay for my boyfriend to come. I told my boyfriend about the trip and at first he was total excited to go. It's in a part of the country he's never been to and said that my sister should go ahead and buy our tickets. So she did. I swear i told him the date, he says I didn't. So just now we had a huge blow up when I told him that the party would be the afternoon and evening of December 14th and we would travel the 12th and 15th. He freaked out and said that I didn't tell him the date. I said I did and what was wrong with the date? He said that it was Star Wars opening night and that he has massive plans with his friends. I said my parents anniversary was way more important and that he'd seen the last Star Wars movie 12 times in the theater. He said that "opening night of Star Wars is a bigger deal than their anniversary." I was literally speechless, and the only thing I could get out was that he needed to leave. As he was leaving he slammed the door and screamed something through the door about me not understanding him. What do I do with this now? I can't imagine being with someone who doesn't appreciate a great couple like my parents but at the same time I've been with him for so long and can't imagine life without him. Does anyone have any recommendations as to how I handle this? tl;dr: My BF said that Star Wars was more important than my parents 50th wedding anniversary. What do I do about this?
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Oct 20, 2017 04:48
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