quote:

My boy works away a lot and it obviously puts stress and strain on our relationship. It natural, but if instead of getting mad at him for stupid little things (ie) him not calling me, him not doing something i wanted) and freaking out for 20 minutes and then feeling super bad about it, I just send him nudes.

Before someone says I'm controlling in the comments, I am really not, when I say hes not doing something I asked, its usually something like asking him to wear gloves at work because his hands are so cut up.
Or to not live off of mr noodles that he makes in a coffee pot while he is working 12 hours a day.
Honestly, would it not like make him more willing to call me when I ask? I feel like it would probably put less stress onto him and would still allow me to do something to chill me out also.

I just wonder if this idea is crazy or if its not half bad.

tl;dr: Angry nudes???

quote:

Right, this is probably going to be massive but I need to get my thoughts out and hopefully get some sane advice as I'm not feeling very sane at the moment. I'm 36 weeks pregnant with my second child. My partner (let's call him George) also has a child of a similar age. This will be our first child together.

George and I have been together a year. We had known each other as friends for about 5 years before becoming an item, and things moved pretty quickly. We had a pretty hardcore BDSM lifestyle with him being the dominant and me being the submissive.
There wasn't any thought of babies but we began teasing each other and I got pregnant the first time we slept together without contraception, idiotic but we were both over the moon as it took both of us such a long time to get pregnant with our previous partners.

Things got a lot more real once I became pregnant and obviously the BDSM stuff fell by the wayside as an unsafe practise during pregnancy.
With our relationship being tempestuous at best there was never any inclination to move in together, especially considering his career- he basically makes videos with prostitutes to improve their online profiles. Before pregnancy I was fine with this, but during the pregnancy I am not fine with it, and he has stopped making videos and become monogamous as far as I'm aware, although he is still photographing naked ladies, which I try to be ok with. It's not as though he is going to change his job.

The main issue is his drinking problem. He goes on 3 day-a week benders and I don't like to be around him when he's like that. If I do go over to spend a night with him, he wants to stay up til 7am or later drinking and having friends round in the middle of the night. It's really boring being sober while he drinks and repeats himself.

I moved into a new place about a month ago and have been attempting to redecorate, unpack, and organise as well as preparing for baby to be born. He has been over twice during that time and has given me about an hour's help with painting. When I tell him I need his help, he says he's just not good at that stuff. He had never even painted a wall before at age 44!
We can analyse him as being the very spoilt only child of well off parents, who has never had to do anything he didn't want to. It's not really relevant to my point though, just an aside really. His parents bought him his house and pay his child maintenance for his son (who he adores, sees him every couple of weeks) so he only has to fund his lifestyle through his photography, which he adores, and what man wouldn't, taking pics of dominatrices and nubile 20 something prostitutes!

Saturday just gone I spoke to him at 10am. He was thoroughly repentant (again) and apologised profusely for not being there for me, as he had been on a heavy drinking session for the last week. He promised to spend the day with me and spoil me, take me out for lunch, take me home and gently caress me, then take me out for dinner as well. He just needed a couple more hours sleep.
At 1pm I got a phone call from George telling me our friends were at his and I should go round and join them. I told him in no uncertain terms that we were supposed to have the day together and I didn't want to hang around with him drunk. He said he wasn't drinking, although with those particular friends this blatantly was untrue.

He texted me at 3pm again asking me to join him and friends. I said no, today was about us and he'd gotten drunk again. I cried down the phone to him.

He rang me at 10pm saying please come round, so I did, assuming that he would have got rid of people. I walked into a smoky room with lines of Coke on the table, and walked straight back out, I was livid. People were saying just come in and have a drink. I screamed, I hit him in the chest to get him out of the doorway, I hyperventilated, telling everyone he had promised to spend the day with me and had been drinking for the last 9 hours. George told me I was ruining everyone's night.

I jumped in my car and sped off, hitting the steering wheel and crying. I was driving so badly I mounted the curb and nearly crashed my car, so I sat there for a while trying to calm down. I called him and screamed at him. I called him every name under the sun. He told me that I was being selfish and irresponsible by getting this stressed out with his baby inside me. ME!! I hung up and cried for a bit longer before going to another friends for a glass of wine and a chat. He then called me and asked if I was drinking. I told him he had driven me to it, what a loving cheek! (I still only had one glass).

He then turned up at our friend's house with the friends from his house like its loving party time, laughing and joking. I attempted to enjoy it but they were all so drunk I just left while they were doing lines in the bedroom and attempting to hide it.
Spoke by text a bit after that and he was terribly apologetic, my friends turfed him out not long after I left so he was alone and feeling sorry for himself. I was still crying, and ended up going over to his at 2am because I just desperately needed a hug. I told him I didn't want to speak, just get into bed and shut up. He's very charismatic and got me laughing again, then got out of bed and made pizza as I hadn't eaten properly all day.

I then attempted to get him to come back upstairs to bed at about 6am. He said he'd be up in 5 minutes, so I sat on Reddit in bed for about half an hour waiting for my hug. I got dressed and went downstairs, he was just sitting there drinking alone and watching early morning tv. I screamed at him that watching the fishing channel and drinking alone was more important than my needs. I left.

He's been working the past couple of days so I've not heard from him much, then he texted me tonight asking if I wanted to go out for pizza as my daughter is at her grandparents. I'm still so loving angry at him, so I said some horrible things. To be honest I don't even want to get out of my pj's, I've not left my bed all day, I'm fed up of being pregnant and a single parent. He's like a loving child that I can't control, what sort of dad will he be? I just can't bear to be around him.

Of course I still love him- he's intelligent, charismatic, charming, and just fantastic company, I'm in awe of him. He's so strong, and strong willed in a way that I adore. But his selfishness has ruined our relationship and I don't know how to change things. He is aware that he has a problem, admits it, then goes back into the same pattern. He promised me weeks ago he'd stop drinking so I could call him for a lift to the hospital when I go into labour. But after a long session, he sleeps for up to a day and often forgets to take his phone to bed with him. What if he misses the birth, or worse, turns up drunk to the labour ward? I just don't know how to deal with this and feel like I shouldn't have to.

He says it will all be different when the baby is here, but if he can't support me now then why should I allow him access to the baby whenever he wants?

Wow this got long, thanks for sticking with it if you read all the way through.

TL;DR: drunk pornographer boyfriend lacks responsibility, heavily pregnant girlfriend lacks patience.

quote:

Growing up, it was me [25] my sister [29] and my mom [50] and dad [52.]
My parents were pretty young when they had my sister and I; they didn't go to college, they owned a business that was always on the verge of failing. They constantly had blow-out fights all the time. We were pretty poor growing up, but I didn't really realize it until I was a teenager.

My parents got divorced when I was 11. My mom fought for sole custody of my sister and I and traumatized us both in the process doing every single thing they tell you not to (both telling the kids wayyy too much info, taking us into the court, etc.)

When I was around 13, I was living with my mom, and she was sort of just living her own life. She'd go out on dates and trips and long weekends and leave us up to our own devices. This is around the time that I realized I was on my own here and I better figure my poo poo out.
Mom ended up losing our house when I was 15 and my sister and her went to live with my grandmother. At that time, I had managed to graduate HS 2 years early and I was taking all of my classes at college (which was about 2 hours from where grandma lived.) So I ended up bouncing around between friends houses and my boyfriend (at the time) house until 18 when I transferred to a 4-year college and got an apartment with a friend.

To put it briefly, I worked my rear end off to get good grades in school. I also worked as much as I could to pay my rent, bills, gas, etc. There were many times when I used nickels to put gas in my car to get to class, and many times I went to bed hungry or ate saltine crackers.
Fast-forward to now: I got my degree, and then also got my master's degree. I also met the love of my life, got married (paid for that myself too), and bought a house. Life is pretty good right now, I've got a good job, and my husband and I are really settling in.

The issue: Somewhere since I got my degree, my mother has become increasingly dependent on me. It's like she never actually grew up. She cant keep a job. She gets a job, has it for awhile then gets laid off or terminated for various reasons (but its NEVER her fault!) She got unemployment for awhile, and then didn't even start looking for a job until the unemployment ran out (duh!) She cannot figure out how to budget, or pay her bills. She's always behind on things and calls me in a dire panic every single time. I've paid her car insurance, electricity and health insurance bills countless times. I pay for her cell phone. I've really worked on drawing boundaries with her, but it's ALWAYS an emergency. She has health problems, to make matters worse. She will say she can't afford her medications, doesnt have any food in her house, etc. I go between getting pissed that she can't just figure this poo poo out herself and then feeling guilty for not helping her (especially when its health issue) and giving in.

The worse part is that she's whiny, and talking to her feels like trying to reason with a moody 13 or 14 yr old. She is genuinely emotionally at times at that level. She will throw tantrums, she has threatened to kill herself when I don't give in, I could go on and on.
I've been to therapy for this. It really didn't really seem to help me and I just quit going because it was kind of depressing.
But I can't live like this. I really fear for the future because she's so dependent on me now at age 50, what does the future look like? I really fear this will prevent me from being able to start my own family and have my own life. There is NOBODY else either. Pretty much everyone in the family has limited ties with her. They havent disowned her, but she's burned every bridge and nobody really wants to help her.

tl;dr: My [25F] mother [50F] is financially and emotionally dependent on me, but she's really exhausting to deal with because she acts like a 13 yr old and never gets her life together. I can't cut her off because she has legitimate health issues and she has nobody else.

loquacius posted:

quote:

We have been married for 5 years and together for 8.
Not really great at writing, so apologies in advance. I'll try to include as much info as I think is relevant but please feel free to ask me for more in the comments if I wasn't clear about something.

My wife has been jealous of a coworker at my job for some time now. Her name is Heather and she's in her early 20s, tall, pretty. Just observations as I have a pair of eyes. Heather is nice but I don't go out of my way to talk to her. We worked together on a project about 8 months ago, which is when this seems to have started. Heather, 3 other coworkers, and I were assigned to this project and so for a good month we spent much time together at work. My wife saw her one day when we were all coming out and she was picking me up to go to dinner at my parents. She immediately asked who she was and if she worked at my job. I told her she was new and was put on our project. For the entire duration of the project my wife was in a bad mood almost every day and would take every opportunity to tear Heather down, saying she was lanky or her nose was crooked or whatever. She is insecure about her height because she's 5'4 and not a "6 foot tall glamazon". I love my wife's height and her petite figure and tell her this every day. She is extremely gorgeous and turns heads whenever we walk downtown. But once she saw Heather was tall and not ugly she was convinced I thought she was hot. I kept telling her she was just a colleague and that I had no interest in her. Regardless, she would greet her coldly or not at all if she saw my colleagues. Our home and jobs are located downtown so we usually walk to meet up with each other after work. My wife would start dressing up a lot more than usual when she'd come meet me and make a big show of jumping on me and stuff. She works at a very nice bakery and usually brings leftovers from work for us or people at my job. She always gave things out to everyone except Heather.

Eventually Heather picked up on the hostility and approached me to ask about why my wife was acting that way. I simply told her I didn't know, maybe because she didn't know her as long as the other colleagues she was distant. She seemed to accept that but would no longer leave at the same time as everyone else and would either go early or hang back.

Bryan, another coworker, approached me on Friday and asked to talk to me privately. He told me he had been at lunch with Kate, the coworker in question, and she had gone to pay for the food. She left her phone on the table. It lit up with a text and he saw it was from Valerie, my wife's name. The text basically said "Did you see him talking to her today? What did he say?" then "Do you think Heather is going to stay at that job long?" When Kate came back to the table he asked her if that was Valerie as in my wife. She got a deer in headlights look and said "Oh yea..we text sometimes. We're friends." He said he thought it was weird because she put her phone in her purse without even checking the messages he had asked about and wanted to go.

I went home and I snooped on my wife's phone. I know it was wrong but I had a feeling that if I asked her she would deny it or become defensive and not show me the phone. There were weeks worth of texts that basically were little reports on what went on at work. If Heather talked to me, what we talked about, did she hug me goodbye, did she touch me at all, did I laugh at her jokes. Did the guys think she was hot, did I join in with them, did I look like I was flirting..
Kate was also apparently talking up Valerie at work to Heather. She made sure to mention often we were married, how great Valerie was, how long we'd been together. I even read one that said "I told her 'Val works in a bakery. I bet if anyone tried to steal her husband she'd just chop them up and bake them in to a pie, haha!' " which was pretty loving creepy.

A lot of things started coming together then. Heather was much more distant lately, she seemed hesitant to say bye at the end of the day. We used to talk casually like everyone else at work but now she would just say hi and bye mostly.
I've been sitting on this information all weekend. Today at work I could hardly look at Heather for shame of it, and I couldn't look at Kate for my disgust. I haven't been able to approach my wife about this because I just don't know how or what to say. I feel frustrated and very much weirded out. I feel gross too like I've had my every move watched without knowing it and as if just talking to a coworker is doing something wrong.
I haven't talked to anyone else about this, not even Bryan who first mentioned it. I don't know what to do from here. I don't even know what this means for our relationship. It feels like something big has changed because I haven't been able to look at her the same way and all my interactions with her since Friday have been kind of forced and faked. I need to talk to her and figure out what to do.
Any advice would be appreciated. I feel very lost right now.

TL;DR: My wife has felt insecure about another coworker because they are tall and attractive. She has been texting with another coworker of mine who gives her reports on my interactions with the coworker my wife is jealous over. I feel betrayed and a bit sick thinking of it. I don't know what this means for us or how to proceed.

paco650 posted:

I think Heather should gently caress Valerie. That'd end that.

batteries! posted:

We must secure the existence of our Patreon and a future for our youtube channels

Gaunab posted:

This is just sad

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

Jeffnote: my hero

So we've been with eachother for 6 years. Our sex life is just as good as when it started, I just wanted to try out some kinkier stuff so I suggested roleplaying. Kevin (husband) was somewhat open to the idea, but also thought it was a bit ridiculous. This is something I've always wanted to try, sort of like a fetish. So we got a few costumes, a Cop outfit and a Spy trenchcoat for him, and a nurse and cheerleader outfit for me. All of our roleplaying revolves around one person being in character, and the other interacting with them.

But he takes his roles as a joke! He goes intentionally extreme with the roles. I know he thinks it's a bit ridiculous, and I know he has more fun when he does this, but I want a real roleplay!

For example, when he dressed up as the Cop, he was supposed to do a stop and frisk, arrest me, etc, but in a sexy way. But instead, he kicks open the door, screams "HANDS UP THIS IS A RAID" and basically tackles me to the bed (this is OKAY it's NOT ABUSE we have rough dom/sub sex all the time), handcuffs me, literally reads me my Miranda Rights, leaves me there and rummages through the drawers throwing stuff everywhere, pulls out a little baggy of weed and goes apeshit like a cop might. I play a long, try to get him to 'let me go' if I can do sexual favours for him. Then we have some rough sex with handcuffs and everything. The actual sex was good but he kept speaking into his fake radio calling for backup, when I was on top he would shout OFFICER DOWN OFFICER DOWN.

With the Spy outfit he would come in and check me for wires and do the whole Pink Panther thing where he says "It is lovely weather we are having" while sneaking to the drapes and then beating the drapes up. I was envisioning a more James Bond-eqsue seduction.

Like, I like the sex, it's good, but I wanted a more porn-like experience. And it was kinda funny but not what I thought. And I KNOW that he thinks roleplay is ridiculous, and that he is trying to have fun with it but I feel like he doesn't know what I want. And I don't hate him for it, he's a big fuckin goofball in or out of our roles, but I want to have MY experience. How can I tell him this?

quote:

So,my friend[14F],has some depression and self-harm issues,and was encouraged to go see his high school counselor. Our school has a policy of "you can tell us anything,and we won't judge."Our school also takes depression and self-harm ultra-seriously,and tends to overreact to this kind of thing(some of my friends have had depression hat they went to the counselor for before at this school)

But when he went to his counselor,he was decided to be a criminal,and his counselor jumped the gun and decided he needed to go to a hospital for help.

He also has to sign and follow a safety plan,that means he can no longer walk to school with us,and has to be escorted by a parent or guardian,and other limitations,and the entire school staff wants him to sign this safety plan,and if he doesn't follow the safety plan,he gets expelled from school.The worst part is,the questions on the paper,according to him,refer to a sex offender,which isn't even the issue he went to the counselor for,and seems totally incorrect. He hasn't signed this safety plan yet,but he is being pressured by school and parents are pressuring him to right away.

I know this may seem like my friends' and the school's issue,and not my issue, but he is my friend,and I don't want to see him hurt,but he can't do anything about this unfair plan,because his peers and the school support this unfair plan,which,to recap,has him escorted to school by a parent or guardian,overreacted on his depressions an self-harm to him seeking help from his counselor,was INCORRECT on the issue he was facing,and if he doesn't strictly follow will get him expelled from school,and I want to help himbut I don't know how or what to do.

tl;dr: Friend went to see help for depression,now counselor wants him to sign a safety plan that will limit his rights,and I want to help,but don't know what to do. What do I do Reddit?

Me [14/M] with my friend [14/M],My friend asked for help from high school counsellors for depression,now entire school staff wants him to sign a safety plan that will limit his rights.

quote:

My girlfriend has decided shes wants to give up sex for 12 months because it's something she said she has always wanted to do. She is not religious nor is taking up any religion. When i ask why, the response is with unsure answers and ends by saying it'll 'make her a better person' and she'll find out why when she does it. Naturally I cant make sense of her choice from the response she gives me.

I understand there is much more to a relationship than just sex, and breaking up with her is the last thing i would want to do. It's something I don't think I will do regardless of her decisions. However, I value sex as really important to me and our relationship. Therefore the thought of no sex for a whole year upsets me. The thought of a loved one taking away something I can only enjoy with her definitely hurts me more. I'd like to call it a selfish act but it's not something being done out of spite, but just for a reason I don't quite understand.

Any input or reasoning behind this choice would be greatly appreciated

tl;dr: GF wants to give up sex for a year because she thinks it'll make her a better person and cant explain how. I don't know what to think of it all

My [24/M] girlfriend [21\F] has decided she wants to become celibate 9 months into our sexual relationship, without any religious motivation to do so.

Bonzo posted:

[21F] Green card marriage to [24M] - what could go wrong

quote:

Any individual who knowingly enters into a marriage for the purpose of evading any provision of the immigration laws shall be imprisoned for not more than 5 years, or fined not more than $250,000, or both.

Bonzo posted:

Me [27 F] with my girlfriend [26 F] of 3 months, have recently become exclusive, I just realized she does not know I'm a girl

gentle pete posted:

I [22F] am having a hard time convincing my family and friends that my bf [45M] is not a creep/predator.

Bananaquiter posted:

I guess I'm petty but to me the obvious solution is to re-hide the rings.

DOMDOM posted:

I vote poop fetish guy for thread mascot

ArbitraryC posted:

Maybe changing his last name was what meat loaf was singing about this whole time

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO posted:

Post more, I believe in you.

COOL CORN posted:

But then there's the whole issue of a middle name!

Luckily the Marvel and DC universes are full of rich and vibrant names.

Ytlaya posted:

The ideological gap between a Carville-style Democrat and Republicans is not that large. Remember that the Clinton era was before Democrats even had the distinction of being "the party that at least supports some level of human rights for LGBT people." Like, at that point it was mostly just a question of the precise degree to which you wanted lovely right-wing policy.

Rotten Red Rod posted:

Hey I know, let's start posting stories from Reddit! That's different for this thread.

How's this pendulum swing from open relationships?

I[36F] am in arranged marriage with [37M]. He has very poor manners and make scenes in public.

(Note: I'm pretty sure English isn't this person's first language so there's some weirdness in the writing. I think by "needs teenager" she means they have a disabled teenager in a wheelchair/stroller of some kind.)
Her disabled son is literally more mature than her husband.