/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

Jack Trades posted:

What is "Jewish genetic testing" and what does it have to do with pregnancy?
Are they afraid that religion will spread to their kids genetically?

I'm dumb. Someone explain this to me.

If two Jewish people have a baby, there's a possibility that the baby could be born with Tay sachs(?) which is not a pretty thing.

# ¿ Oct 10, 2016 20:12

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ May 9, 2024 06:04

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

quote:

Me [21F] with random girl in my dorm [19F] making concerning (false) accusations to campus therapist about my relationship- HELP!

I'm a 21 year old female, senior in college. I've been with my boyfriend, 22M, for almost two years. We've had our ups and downs like any relationship, but overall it's been truly wonderful. He's the first person I loved and we have plans to move in together once I graduate.

Without going into too much detail, our sex life has been truly out of this world amazing. We're long distance until I graduate, but when we do see each other, it's sex 3+ times a day and it's amazing. It's passionate, it's wonderful, I can't get enough. We both like some light BDSM but nothing crazy.

I use the Mirena IUD for birth control, aka one of the most effective contraceptives on the market. Since we are in an exclusive relationship, we don't use condoms. We got STD tested before ditching the condoms, and my gyno does an STD check at every visit. We are both clean.

Anyway, after a few drinks one night I was talking to a good friend of mine about how great our sex life is. I didn't go into a ton of detail but at some point in the convo, it was mentioned that we only use my IUD for protection. Like a bat out of hell, a girl I never met jumps into our conversation and begins to lecture me about how irresponsible I am being. Maybe I shouldn't have been having this type of conversation in a semi public place, that is my fault. Dumbfounded, I pretty much laugh in her face, truly thinking she was joking.

Well, she wasn't. She went off about how some STD's don't show up on tests, and what if my boyfriend were to cheat on me and give me something? I told her if I had any suspicion of him cheating on me I wouldn't be with him and I obviously have a huge amount of trust for him. She went on to basically say that all men are pigs and I should be careful. Again, I pretty much laughed in her face. Not very mature I know, but I was pretty tipsy and dumbfounded.

It turns out this chick lives on my dorm floor and is the vice president of our safe sex club on campus.

Two days after this happened, I returned to my dorm to find two condoms slipped under my door and a paper with information about the meeting times/days for this safe sex club. How this girl found my room, I don't loving know. Yes she lives on my floor but there's a decent number of dorm rooms on my floor!

Again, really god drat loving weird, but I brushed it off my shoulder cause I was leaving to see my long distance BF that day, so I was too excited to really care.

That weekend I was with my boyfriend, things got a little more frisky than usual. He ended up taking a neck tie and choking me with it (totally consentual!), which was incredible but I guess I didn't notice how rough it was being used. That is until the next day I had marks on my neck. Whoops.

When I got back to school it was super late at night and I had not bothered to cover up with a scarf or makeup. I went to the communal kitchen to make some tea before bed and and what do you loving know, crazy girl is there (on the other side of the room), and one of my friends too (not the same friend from the first incident). My friend made a comment to the effect of "looks like you had a good time this weekend" and I responded "oh you know it". I thought nothing of it.

A few days later I get a call while in class from a number I did not know, but I could tell it was a university number. I figured it was my on campus job calling me and I waited until after class to listen to the voicemail.

Imagine my surprise when it's one of the campus therapists telling me to call her back ASAP. I thought the worst... I thought someone in my family or my boyfriend had died and the therapist was about to tell me this.

No... she had gotten a report from someone (she could not say who) that they were concerned that I was in an abusive relationship. Someone had some to her saying that I had bruises on my body and that I had made comments to the effect of being pressured to have unprotected sex. WHAT. THE. gently caress.

I told the therapist thank you for the concern but that is bullshit and I am so mad at these accusations and I'm sorry someone wasted her time.

I was LIVID. In pure rage mode I found this girls dorm room and banged on the door ready to scream at her- lucky for her she was not in her room. I spoke to my RA about the issue, and he said that I am not the first person to tell him about this girl sticking her nose in other peoples personal lives, but never to the extreme of my situation.

Apparently, she left campus the day I went to bang on her door to go home and will not be back till tomorrow morning.

How the gently caress do I handle this? This has obviously gone beyond something petty. I wish I could have gotten my RA's advice but when I spoke to him we were both in a rush to go somewhere. How should I proceed? Could I get her in trouble for this?

TL;DR- girl is making serious and false accusations about me to the higher ups at my university.

# ¿ Oct 11, 2016 01:27

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

quote:

Me [45 F] with my Spouse [46 M] married 21 years, Spouse refused to stand up for me.

We were having lunch with my husband's parents and his sister when a question came up regarding taxes.

My husband was commenting at brunch that we'd had to pay taxes in multiple states last year because I consult in areas all around the country. My mother-in-law tells me that we made a mistake and that we don't have to pay taxes when I work in other states because I live here.

I merely was trying to tell the mother-in-law and sister that this is how things have to be done. They said I didn't know what I was talking about. It's not just that I know because I've filed the returns but I also have an accounting degree for my undergrad so this was covered with my studies at school. My husband is sitting there listening to this foolishness and saying absolutely nothing while their voices are escalating and eventually end with the mother-in-law asking me, "What are you, some type of tax lawyer or something?" At this point, as with the past, I see there is no reason to continue trying to inform them of anything and I decide to just be quiet.

There have been many things like this in the past that have happened and I had my initial shock when my husband didn't say anything. Now, not only do I not expect him to say anything but many times when I'm attacked verbally by people in his family I don't even bother to say anything. This way, he won't be able to say I said something to him and I won't be able to say he didn't address it.

Does anyone out there have issues like this and what have you done to get through them?

tl;dr: Husband allows people to belittle me!

quote:

I [25F] find my boyfriend's [29M] friendship with his female friend is passing the line

So my boyfriend and I have been going out for 2.5 years. He has this friend who is a female [23] that he use to tutor when she was in high school and the relationship grew to be past their tutoring relationship to being really good friends. While the problem isn't the fact that she's a female, it's more of how the relationship became from what it started as and how "chummy" she is towards him.

A few examples. She use to play a college sport and he would attend a lot of games about every time she asked him to or go out of his way to go. On her birthday, he takes her out to a nice fancy dinner. Every time she needs something, he goes running towards her. To me, it kind of appears as she's using him for attention and never returns any nice gestures back. That's not a friendship to me. A friendship should be a relatively mutual level of nice gestures. Whenever we would be at gatherings and people ask me questions about him, she's quick to answer for me about him. During a few times, I have hung out with just them two, it always feels like I was third wheeling a couple.

I understand that he had a life before me but one of our biggest issues is that he has a hard time sharing anything deep or even the small things. But sometimes I hear things about him that are more current from her and I constantly have to say "oh that's the first I am hearing of it." In a way, I feel like I am being put second of someone else in his life.

I have told him before about this and he tells me that I am wrong and he doesn't see any of it. His tldr to me is that they are long time friends and anything I say won't have an impact because she's 1 of the 2 most important people in his life (his bestfriend and her). I should've asked where I am on that list but the best comebacks are always after the fight. What do you guys recommend or have to save if I am third or fourth after the 2?

tl;dr: Am I crazy for thinking that a friendship that started off as a tutor/tutee relationship is a bit weird as a GF standpoint? And is the chummy behavior is pushing it? Am I wrong to feel my bf is getting used?

quote:

Am I [24M] the "safe" option for my girlfriend [23]??

Hi reddit recently I've been feeling like my girlfriend of approx 6 months sees me as the "safe" or reliable option to be in a relationship with rather than desire for me as a person. There have been a accumulation of events that have me questioning if she really likes me.

First being is that I found out through conversation that many of her ex-boyfriends seem to be the "bad boy" type. Her last ex was a drug dealer and another has been to jail, had tattoos etc... I don't have any tattoos or anything like that; I am quite straight edge in comparison, she actually said that one of the things that attracted her to me was the fact that I went to uni. Now I don't have a problem with her having exes at all, I just noticed a very strong pattern based on what she has told me, and I am not aligned at all with that pattern.

Second was the fact that she alluded that she has had or enjoys kinky sex despite us taking MojoUpgrade together and it revealing her to be quite vanilla (I ticked yes for many of the boxes, most of her answers were a no). She said she was only joking but I am not so sure... this one is probably just in my head.

Finally, she nicknamed me "Safety R" R being short for Ryan (not my real name). When I asked why she gave me that nickname, she literally said it was because I am a very safe person. I don't start fights, I don't speed, drink drive etc... I don't believe I am a boring at all, I am very passionate about my work and have hobbies and go to the gym regularly. I just don't engage in reckless behavior. She said she liked that about me, but why make a nickname for it? It felt like she was making a joke out of my personality.

One of my biggest fears/insecurities is being settled for in a relationship and not actually being the desired by my SO, this stems from the fact that I was a late bloomer when it came to relationships. Only in the past few years have I had strong success with dating. All of these little occurrences with my gf have triggered that insecurity, I really like her and want people to tell me that I'm just crazy and need to get over it... but I am also not afraid of breaking it off if I know she isn't with me for me.

I'm coming to relationships for an unbiased opinion. Does it sound like she is settling? How do you know when you are the "safe" option? Am I just crazy and insecure?

TL;DR Small events have made me feel insecure about my gf seeing me as a "safe" option for a relationship. Not sure if it's all in my head.

quote:

Me [27 M] with my girlfriend [24 F] of 6 years- she wants to sleep around before we settle down. What should I do?

So, we have been going out for a little over six years having first met at university. We met during her freshers week (her 18, me 21) and hit it off straight away. We have been going out ever since, and despite a significant proportion of our relationship being long-distance, all has been going really well. Recently things have been getting a little more serious- discussing the future possibility of children etc- although this has been on a backdrop of us seeing each other less due to conflicting work schedules and long distance (we currently live approx 5 hours apart). I really love her, and she professes the same to me, so I'm really confused.

When we first got together, I was in my third year of university whilst she was in first year. As such, she says (possibly correctly) that I have had the opportunity to experience single life, including a one night stand, whereas she has not (due to age difference). Also, she says that although our relationship is completely non-controlling, because we have been together for all of her adult life, she has not had the opportunity to 'grow' individually, but rather has matured within the confines of a serious relationship. I disagree with this part as she is very much her own person (in fact, this is part of the reason I admire her so much).

A few weeks ago she mentioned about the disparity in our sexual experience- when we got together she was a virgin and I had slept with two women- and how she felt she had missed out on important life experience. I initially thought this was just idle chat, but this resurfaced last night. I think this has partly been triggered by her moving into a flat with other single women who have lots of no strings sex. She says that I mean a lot to her, and that she sees a long-term future with me, but that she needs to have space (somewhere between 3 months and a year....) in order to experience what she has missed in life. This would include sex with other men (just sex, not emotion).

I really don't know what to do. She is pressuring me to give permission (permission is not really the right word) for her to sleep around for a while (she says she has not cheated on me, and I believe her), whilst we remain close friends. The idea of this is abhorrent to me, but she says that this is important to her, and if she were not to do this now, she would be much more likely to cheat at a later stage. I really don't know what to do. Should I ok her to sleep around and get this out of her system (incidentally, she said if this was the case then I could sleep around too, not that I particularly want to), or do you think this is a sign of something bad? I really love this girl, and I think she loves me- I want what is best for her, but equally I do not think this should be completely at my expense.

Thanks for reading folks. This situation sucks so any grains of wisdom/ thoughts would be most appreciated.

tldr- my long term girlfriend wants to have sex with other men before we potentially settle down. What should I do?

Gaunab fucked around with this message at 04:24 on Oct 11, 2016

# ¿ Oct 11, 2016 04:22

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

quote:

My[30/M] fiance[29/F] told me that she would leave me for her soulmate and that it is normal of couples to have this agreement.

My fiance dated a guy before me that she was incredibly in love with. I knew she was into him, but they dated for 2 years, and we have been together for 4 years. He ended it because he wasn't ready for commitment, according to her. We've been engaged since July, with the wedding set for next September.

Over the Christmas holidays she told me that since we are getting married, we need to be open and honest with each other, which I have been about my whole life, and I thought she had.

Come to find out she considers her ex to be soulmate and if he asked, she would go back. She said this is normal for most couples to have an arrangement like this, and that he may never say anything. If that is the case, she loves me and wants a life and a family with me. I got upset and said why are you with me then, and she told me to calm down, that everyone settles. She said she will always love me, but this is just the way things are.

I've been avoiding her for days now. I am incredibly hurt, I thought she wanted to spend her life with me, but now it is with an asterisks.

Am I overreacting, like she says? Is it normal for people to have this type of situation?

tl;dr: Fiance said she is soulmates with her ex and would leave me if he asked, said this is normal for most couples.

# ¿ Oct 11, 2016 14:11

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

Regulation Size posted:

I will never understand the compulsion to keep barely acquainted, obviously pining losers on the line when they start interfering with your life, especially when they are internet-only.

Some people like attention.

# ¿ Oct 11, 2016 18:15

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

quote:

My husband [35M] is terrible at "adulting", and it's really affecting our marriage on my [34F] side.

So my husband, let me give you the disclaimer, is great at a lot of things and we work well together on most stuff. He's extremely brilliant at building or fixing anything, or learning complex computer programs, or making people laugh, and a whole other litany of well rounded skills.

But when it comes to "adulting" - anything involving paying bills, doing paperwork, answering emails, even simply keeping his phone charged or opening his mail - he becomes a gibbering idiot.

I sort of tolerated just taking over all of that stuff for the whole relationship because I'd rather just know the bills got paid, but I'm starting to feel like the line has been crossed and he shrugs me off so often with his usual flippant "stop being a dick" type of lines. Calls me out for causing "stress that isn't worth it" and it kinda is starting to feel like either i'm getting mildly gaslighted or THIS REALLY ISNT OKAY....

The biggest incident, for example, sorry so long, but I want to make sure anyone interested actually knows its not just being late on a phone bill or whatever:

In 2013 he was self employed for the first time, and we were living together. I never noticed him doing his taxes when I was scrambling to do mine, but I'm not a hawk type of partner and can definitely be absent minded, so I shrugged it off.

Then in 2014 we got married and when i started doing our taxes i realized he had never done his 2013 taxes. He had no idea that you didn't "just get money back". (I have been self employed at least part time since age 16, so I have zero understanding how someone can be in their mid 30s and so ignorant).

Of course, he owed a ton of money and penalties to Oregon State at this point, so I told him, "hey, I'll do these taxes for you, I'll do all our taxes from now on. I just need you to have ONE JOB. You need to deal with the payment and admin for your late 2013 taxes. Set up a payment plan and do it."

Of course what ended up happening is although he set up the payment plan, I had to then set a google calendar alert to remind him to pay it. I'd nag him, he'd make the payment, and I'd see a payment on the credit card I had gotten him under my name (because of course, his credit is in the toilet due to thinking that ignored problems just go away).

I even later paid 300 bucks to bail him out of bank jail so he could be added to my account SPECIFICALLY to set up auto payments for this tax debt, and me not have to remind him anymore.

Sort of all good, right?

Well suddenly last month, I see a letter to him from Oregon State tax board that looks not so fun, I open it and it's a legal order for a garnishment of nearly a thousand dollars. He has 14 days to answer this letter.

I wave it in front of him, trying not to get upset, it must be a mistake. He promises to deal with it.

Two weeks later a thousand dollars is taken out of my account.

"Oh, is there like, different places to pay? Cause I just used a tax service and paid the feds.."

So he's been paying the feds the whole time and not the state that he owed money to, and now my account is empty, the feds have nearly a thousand dollars extra of ours, and nobody on the phone seemed to be able to "access" the info.

Husband is now back working on a music tour and I have had to nag him constantly to call as I desperately need to track down this $1000!!! I found a place for him to look into it online, but I couldn't sign up for him because I don't have his phone. His phone wasn't charged so I had to call his road-mate to get ahold of him.

He then made fun of me for my stress levels and said he'd do it. ....

(oh, And this garnishment order got a $125 fee from wells fargo on top of it.

Reddit, I am literally waking up every morning fuming. And his way of responding is to ridicule me. Yes, he is a ridicule/jokey type of guy in general, but we have even gotten into fights about potentially having kids.. I've tried to tell him I can't have kids with someone I can't rely on like that. That was the only time I got through to him and it seems to already have been deleted again thanks to being back on the road with the band.

Am I just a "stressy nagger"!?!?!?!? Am I crazy?

TL;DR: Husband can't even open mail much less pay bills or do anything responsible, and the consequences are starting to damage my life and make me want to leave.

EDIT: I want to clarify, because maybe it doesn't come through.. he does work and make money, and gives everything to me to put into the bank account. He's definitely not going out and spending irresponsibly on himself, like drinking or buying things. My beef with him is not that he's a dependent in terms of actual money, it's his utter mismanagement of his day-to-day.

# ¿ Oct 11, 2016 22:38

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

Alternate universe Pete

quote:

Me [26 M]with my wife [25 F] of 1.5 years together 3.5, she cheated about a year into our relationship and just confessed.

Throwaway cuz I don't want it on my main account. I don't think any of my friends or family even know what Reddit is so I am pretty detailed in my story.

Wow this ended up so long I'm sorry for the wall and rambling I'm a little shaken up. Below is he background of our dating relationship when she cheated. Below that is what she confessed to if you want to skip the background.

BACKGROUND:

So my wife and I went to high school together but she was a class below me but we didn't really know eachother it was a bigger high school with each class with about 400 students. Fast forward a few years I am fresh out of a horrible relationship filled with cheating (not by me), break ups, and paternity tests (que "you're not the father dance"). Well once the baby was born I made my successful escape from the toxic relationship and went out with old high school friends and ended up meeting with another group including my now wife. We met talked laughed and I told her my crazy soap opera story of my past relationship and we hit it off.

We started dating shortly after meeting and she was effectively my rebound. We dated for two months, I was unhealthily clingy and she ended up breaking it off with me. We went our seperate ways no contact for two months. I got back to normal me that was okay being single and shook off that pesky clinginess.

After two months of being broke up I sent her a happy birthday text she invited me to meet up with her friends for her birthday celebration. Alcohol plus sexual tension equals waking up in her bed the next morning. We take things slow and start easing back into a relationship. Started going to church together I'm a life long Christian and she was very new but very interested in it. We grew stronger together in our faith. Things are going great for a few months until she gets in touch with an ex. A guy she dated for years but she cheated on him for most of their relationship with another ex. (She told me about this cheating and I understood that we all have lovely pasts)He was her close friend and he was always pining for her to get back together with him. I told her it made me uncomfortable that they talked all the time and I don't think it's healthy to have past romances in your life when seeing someone new (that's just my opinion if you disagree that's fine too it your prerogative). Especially since my ex cheated on my and got pregnant with her ex. She disagreed and she didn't want a man to control her life, I understood explained to her that this won't work for either of us. I don't believe in ultimatums so we talked about how we felt about it. She still wanted to be able to keep in touch with exes so I broke it off with her. After about a week she gets dinner with said ex and he goes into how great their life and kids are going to be together and she has her epiphany moment hat I was right he wasn't interested in just being friends. She calls me we get drinks and she apologizes and we are back together. She cuts all exes out of her life and we continue.

Now the fun part we are in full swing of our relationship starting mid may going to church, family vacations, extremely healthy and happy relationship. Even today we both brag about how good our break ups were for our relationship(by the way we had both slept with other people during said break ups we were both upfront and honest about it and there hasn't been any animosity because, well, we were broken up). By august we are taking about marriage and even went out to pick out rings. September comes along I get a great paying job and I can afford a ring but we find out we are pregnant. It was an accident but we both agreed to keep it. Life is amazing we end up moving in together, get married with a small wedding in the mountains and have our son the following year. Wife gets baptized and we are now pregnant with second and last child who was planned.

CONFESSION: We are laying in bed two nights ago and she is giving me a massage. I work a manual labor job so I get pretty sore. We are just having normal old married conversations and my wife gets uneasy and says "I have something I need to tell you...". Great here we go is all I can think in my head. She spends about 10 minutes prefacing what she is actually going to say and by that time I had already deduced what she was going to say. Essentially back during the summer after our last break up when everything was amazing she had gone out after work with a co worker/old flame to get drinks. They wound up at a park started making out and led to sex (yes at a park) which she stopped (yeah I know that's what they all say but at least I didn't get the it was only kissing line). She then texted him later that never to never contact her again. Which according to her he agreed but then tried again a couple months later when she was early on in the pregnancy and she told him the same thing again and blocked him everywhere.

I've been in the sub long enough to know the questions to ask. I told her before asking that if there were any lies from her on out our marriage is over.

-Are you sure it was only once and you actually stopped it shortly after starting? Yes. -No contact since you last blocked him? Yes. Another other instances of cheating in our relationship? No. -Why are you telling me now since I seemingly never would have found out? Because it's been weighing on my heart and I can't push it out of head anymore. -Is there anyway our son is not mine (particularly hard question given my past)? No it was in June we conceived in September. -How do I trust you'll never do this again? Since the moment I stopped him during sex I realized that I'm being the same messed up girl I was before. Since that mistake I have given my life to Christ and vowed to be a better person and mom. I have made huge strides in becoming who I am now my biggest mistake was not telling you then and lying about it until now.

To her credit she never once blamed me, minimized, or got upset at me. She asked if she needed to sleep on the couch. Since then she has been understanding apologized profusely and talks about it openly with me with out defending or blaming.

I have always been outspokenly against cheating especially with my past relationships I've been cheated on a lot before. I never put up with it and the only time I did was just to find out if a baby was going to be mine then I broke it off. She assumed I would divorce her after she told me. My problem is, is that my faith doesn't allow it. I love the poo poo out of her still. We have had an incredible marriage and amazing communication. If she would've cheated in our marriage I would be gone and she knows as much. I know to those of you that aren't religious this seems crazy but I made a vow and I have to honor it. Real Christianity is all about how everyone is broken and makes mistakes and we can always be forgiven and that we are supposed to love everyone even those who hurt us and have grace for others like we get from God. The fact that it was before marriage does actually make it easier to swallow. I've told her that this will take serious time to get over especially the broken trust. The countless times she has said I've never cheated on you and never will.

She has been very patient and understanding. We've also been doing the whole hysterical bonding thing. Had sex 4 times in the 24 hours since the confession. She has an individual counselor already, she had extreme emotional abuse her entire childhood. We have already had marriage counseling scheduled cuz we've been wanting to find one before baby #2 so we can keep our marriage maintained with the stress of another baby (2 under 2).

Question: What am I missing? I know it's hard to see the whole picture when you're in the frame. Reddit is good at poking holes in flawed stories. What else do I ask? Has anyone else been through this? For those christians out there any good readings or biblical advice?

EDIT: The cheating was well past a month after getting back together. I just want to make that clearer.

tl;dr Wife cheated one time when we were dating during the best months of our pre marriage relationship. Confessed over two years and two babies later because of her faith and guilt. Need advice from people who have been here before or christian advice on how to handle this.

Gaunab fucked around with this message at 04:47 on Oct 12, 2016

# ¿ Oct 12, 2016 04:44

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

quote:

My husband [29M] keeps trying to impregnate me [23F] but i'm not ready.

My husband and I have been married for 2 years, we were dating for 2 years prior to that. We have had many conversations about having children and both of us want 2-3 kids. We just bought a house last year and have alot of debt from the initial purchase of the home. In addition, I started a new position at my job about 3 months ago and my hours are kind of all over the place.

Last year around this time, we had a conversation about when would be the right time to start trying for children, and we had thought around this time now would make sense. But now that this time is here, I just don't quite feel ready. I feel like our finances and my job are not as stable as I pictured them being and thus, I told him I thought we should wait maybe another 6 months to a year.

We have definitely, 100% talked about this. I told him my concerns, and he agreed and said he understands and its no problem. We both agreed that we're at the point where obviously if a baby came, we would be excited and happy, but don't want to "try" for it just yet.

Fast forward to last month. I had to come off of my birth control for the first time in our relationship because I was having bad side effects from it. It was a really unpleasant experience and since I was thinking we were going to be trying for a baby in about a year then I'd just stay off hormonal BC. We've never used condoms in our relationship. To be honest, neither of us have a huge sex drive and we only average sex 2-3 times a month.

Again, we had a conversation about this. Sorry to be TMI, but I suggested that for the time being, he should just pull out every time in addition to my likely monitoring when I'll most likely ovulate and not have sex then. Obviously this isn't 100% but we were both okay with this.

Okay, so this is the issue. Since having had these conversations, and since I've stopped taking birth control we've had sex about five times. First of all, this is kind of wierd because like I said, we don't usually have sex that much, so, it's like he's trying to have sex with me almost double frequency. (He's initiated every time and he has been much more forceful/insistent than ever with initiating sex.)

Second of all, he has (TMI) cum inside me every single time! The first two times he claimed he forgot (??) about the discussion we had. The next time before we even started, I made him actually say he wasn't going to, then he did again! I was upset after and he kind of said he thought I was overreacting and that he doesn't see what difference it makes if I were to get pregnant now or later and he really wants a baby. He made me feel really guilty and like I was being crazy. He said I was playing with his emotions by promising him we could start trying last year this time and now changing my mind.

So the next two times we had sex I remind him of what I prefer, but he sort of says he's just going to do what he wants (and he does.)

I'm starting to get frustrated. Part of me feels like this isn't right and I should stick to my guns and the other part of me thinks he's right and I'm being unrealistic/unfair in this situation or overreacting. It's making me really question the whole situation all together. I don't really want to go back on hormonal birth control, but I also feel like if I don't i'm definitely going to get pregnant short of actually refusing sex with him all together.

tl;dr: I decided to push back the date for trying for a baby with my husband. We "agreed" to practice withdrawal method until then, but instead it seems like he's actually actively trying to get me pregnant

# ¿ Oct 12, 2016 05:04

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

quote:

I (22/f) got drunk a few weeks ago and slept with another man. Boyfriend (27/m) found out. We agreed to stay together under a term.

A few weeks ago, I got really drunk and ended up slept with another man.

Next morning, I regretted it big time and immediately let my boyfriend know and apologized like crazy in every possible way.

My boyfriend was totally upset and refused to talk to me for a few days. But when he came around, he said he'll stay with me as long as I never drink again, stay away from the bar, nightclub, or party where there will be a lot drinking. Also, I'm supposed to answer any message within an hour.

I love my boyfriend. But the term he has is incredibly strict. It is so hard to watch my friends going out having fun. My boyfriend, on the other hand, doesn't drink at all.

I tried to ask him if we can talk about it. His reply was no.

I don't know what to do anymore. It is getting so hard. I really love my boyfriend, but yet it is so hard to watch my friends go out and having fun and hearing about it knowing I have no part in it.

Does anyone have any suggestion on a compromise that may work or anything like that?

TLDR;

A few weeks ago, I got drunk and slept with another man. I told my boyfriend ASAP and apologized. My boyfriend agreed to stay with me as long as I don't drink and stay away from bars, nightclub, or party. This term is hard for me.

# ¿ Oct 12, 2016 13:11

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

Pelvic Floor Wax posted:

Eh, my boyfriend cheated way back, and we're great now.

# ¿ Oct 12, 2016 15:30

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

Pretty sure this is fake since it came out on national coming out day but it's pretty tame so...

quote:

I [24F] have been out and exclusively dating women for ten years, but I think I've fallen for a close friend [27M]

Hi, Reddit.

I'm really confused right now, so I could use some outside suggestions on how to handle this.

I came out as a lesbian to my parents and everyone else when I was 14, and that was that. My parents didn't give a drat who I wanted to sleep next to, as long as they treated me well.

I joined the military when I was 19 because I wasn't sure what I wanted to do. Along the way, I met and dated a lot of people, and made a whole bunch of friends, some that I expect stay in contact with for the rest of my life.

One of those friends was Deven. I met him when I transferred to my first permanent duty station about five years ago.

Since I met Deven, I've had a high opinion of him. He and I were always friendly. But honestly did not hang out much outside of work while we were both still in the military.

Fast forward a few years, and Deven separates from the military six months before I do. He moves away, though I didn't know where. In January, I moved back to my home state. Shortly after I moved here, Deven contacted me, and as it turns out, we ended up living pretty close to each other in the same city, which was weird because Deven is not from this state. He just decided this was where he wanted to go to college.

Anyway, we started hanging out a lot. We go to concerts together, have beer nights, play Xbox, go to cigar bars, renfest, etc.

We start to get really close.

A couple of weeks ago, we had a pitcher night at one of the bars we go to sometimes downtown. We were both pretty Tipsy by the time we left. He slung his arm around me, which he has done before, but then he left it there the whole walk back to my place. He hadn't ever done that before.

As we were walking, he made the offhand comment that he would have feelings for me if I wasn't gay, and I replied without thinking that if I were into guys, I would definitely be into him. As we neared my apartment, I realized that both of us essentially just admitted we felt something for the other.

After we got back to my place, we hung out on the fire escape, and then ended up laying (cuddling) on my bed for at least three hours talking about basically everything on our minds. Intimate is the best word I can use to describe it, even though nothing sexual happened at all.

So now here I am. I'm confused as gently caress. I've never had feelings like this for a man, ever. And I'm not even sure how to go about telling him, let alone if this goes anywhere, having to tell everyone I'm dating a guy. It's like having to come out of the closet for a second time. And, I'll be honest, the lesbian community isn't very forgiving or nice to "traitors" or "posers" or whatever.

I'll surely end up losing a lot of friends and catching a lot of judgement. And I know I really don't want them as friends if that's what they do, but it still sucks and it's really hard to process.

I'm not so much worried about how to talk to him about it. That part is easy. But how do I broach this with my family and friends? Do I just wait until I'm actually dating him (if that's what happens) and instead of 'coming out' just let people figure it out on their own?

I could really use Reddit's advice on this one.

*tl;dr * been identifying as a lesbian and dating women for ten years. I realized I have feelings for a close friend [27M] and don't know how to handle 'coming out' to my friends and family again if it goes somewhere. How do I approach it?

# ¿ Oct 12, 2016 15:49

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

^^^drat, same time.

quote:

My boyfriend (22y) wouldn't pull over for me to pee (F21y)

I'm pretty torn how to handle this situation and would really like some advice. Boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over 7 months now and since the beginning of our relationship, he has always been a little controlling, and I think most of it stemmed from his dad being an rear end in a top hat for most of childhood. Anyway, his controlling behavior was never hurtful up until this point.

His parent's house is about an hour and a half away from ours, and every few weekends we drive up there to visit. The drive up was fine, but at their house I had a considerable amount of water to drink. I had used the bathroom about 20 minutes before leaving, but with all the water I had to drink, about 15 minutes into the ride home I desperately needed to pee again.

I told my BF and asked if we could stop at the closest place with a bathroom. He tried to convince me to hold it, and I unwillingly agreed, knowing well that I probably wouldn't be able to wait until we got home.

Fast forward another 35 minutes or so and I was in complete pain, to the point of tears in my eyes, at this point begging my BF to just pull over. He kept telling me that I could hold it and then he really didn't feel like pulling over, as it would take too much time and he had things to do.

I somehow miraculously managed to hold on until we got home but I was barely even able to get out of the car due to being in so much pain. I wasn't even able to pee as soon as I got to the bathroom because my body was holding it for so long. I'm wondering if this could start a pattern of abuse, and i'm really unsure of how to approach the situation by bringing up how hurt I was.

TL;DR really had to pee on drive home, BF wouldn't pull over for me, possibly abusive behavior?

Gaunab fucked around with this message at 15:56 on Oct 12, 2016

# ¿ Oct 12, 2016 15:54

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

Rondette posted:

I've heard there is also a bit of a culture of 'Lesbian Tourism' where a girl will try it out in a sort of tee hee I'm a LESBIAN, mom and dad! way and then dump the relationship once they get bored of it/grow out of their rebellious phase.

When you're looking for a genuine steady and meaningful relationship I can imagine that'd get pretty drat annoying and depressing.

Like some women dating black men.

# ¿ Oct 12, 2016 18:58

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

quote:

My husband [30M] asked me who I [25F] love more: him or our daughter [3F]. Now he is mad because of my answer

I'm Spanish so yea, English's not brilliant. I'm from a family with a huge "love your children" mentality. All my life, I've heard from my mother (and she had heard it from her mother/my grandma and so on) I'm her priority and the person she loves the most. What I mean is that on my culture it's normal to love more your children than your husband.

So I married my husband and when he asked me about children for the first time, I told him that I can be slightly different than the majority of women (or not? I don't know if this is global or cultural) but that I'm pretty sure I'm going to love my children a lot and they will always come first, just like my mother raised me. He said he was ok with it and he agreed on me with that. I was surprised but I was really happy!

When I saw my daughter for the first time, I completely understood what my mother meant and how that type of love was incomparable. She was the cutest little person I've ever seen and I cried tears of joy when I had her. I always wanted to be a mother and knowing I had such a perfect healthy baby was a dream come true.

Yesterday, my husband began to talk a lot and suddenly asked me who I loved more: him or her. I told him he already knew the answer. He was really mad and told me he couldn't be with someone who didn't love him the most and how could I love more someone I only know for 3 years (lol) than him who I've known for 10. I told him I had informed him of what was going to happen and that he should have told me by that time he wasn't ok with it and we should part ways because of our incompatibility. That it wasn't fair of him of accusing me of something I've already explained to me. Then he said "I still love you more than her, so you should love me more than you love her too". I told him it wasn't like that and then I also said he just wanted to argue with me because he asked me something he already knew the answer of just to shout at me. He went away and he hasn't come back yet.

So, Reddit, what should I do?

tl;dr: Always told my husband I was going to love our children more and they would be my priority because all I wanted and still want is to be a mother. He said he shared the same views with me. Now he asked me who I love more: him or our daughter. When I said our daughter he was really mad and told me he still loved me more so I should love him more too. I think he was just trying to argue with me because he decided to ask something he already knew the answer. He went away and hasn't come back yet. So, what should I do?

quote:

Me [35 M] struggling with repeated deception from my wife [35 F] of 5 years.

Summary:

In the beginning, she and I are dating, the normal courting process, dinner, dancing, getting to know each other etc. things could not have been going better, I�m talking ROM-COM fairy tale stuff.

A few months in she pulls me aside and tells me she might have an STD from a one night stand she had a few months before meeting me.

The guy who she had hooked up with contacted her out of the blue alleging this and she felt I had the right to know because this could impact me if true (she had just gotten the call that afternoon while at work).

Her and I had both come out of relationships earlier in the year where we had been cheated on, and truthfully, we clicked on a level I had never experienced even though we were both cautious going in.

I was extra cautious because she was also fully up front about having an affair in her marriage (she got married young, and owned up to what she had done, and truthfully, I respected the full disclosure).

Everything that needed to be there for two people to click was present, I know it sounds clich� but that really is how it was for us in the beginning, we both really found the person who we had always been looking for.

So, when she dropped this on me, I didn't flinch, I told her I'm committed to see where this was going and from that day forward we entered into a relationship and were married a bit thereafter.

Like any couple we had ups and downs, but truthfully in 4 years, we never actually had what most would call a real fight, life was drat good.

Fast forward about 4 years and my life gets turned upside down.

I take a job in the corporate sector that requires me to travel and honestly, I threw myself at my work and did not devote as much time to our relationship as I should have.

In the process of finding balance between work and home a year later, some things started to come to light.

She had been having a stressful time at work herself and had been going out with a male coworker to "vent".

At first I was ok with this, I had no reason to not trust her, but then red flags started to pop up.

Only certain meetings were communicated, others left out, and then I started seeing very suggestive exchanges between them on social media.

I confronted her and she swore there was nothing to it but my gut feeling told me I was being lied to so I questioned her on something very specific and she blatantly lied to me about it.

After I called her out on it she said she was worried that she would lose me because nothing was happening and she did not want to destroy our relationship over me potentially overreacting.

We get through this, then a few months later red flag #2.

I find out her ex (who had cheated on her in the relationship before me), is on her social media accounts.

From day one the amount of hatred she had expressed for him was immense, so much so that she would not even speak his name in any context or form.

Truthfully, it was a pretty hurtful breakup, she found out he was a married man living a dual life and he was very cruel to her when his lies were exposed.

So, you can imagine my shock when a man who's name she would not even speak for 4 years, someone she literally said she wished harm upon, is there on her social media commenting on her morning selfie pictures going back a couple years into our relationship.

I tried to take the mature approach to this, she needed closure, she found forgiveness, she was curious what he was up to etc.

Hell, we have all looked up our exes at one time or another, but why profess disgust and hatred, yet hide his name from me and then in turn keep him in a (remote capacity) part of your life?

Again, her excuse was similar to the first red flag, it did not mean anything, we never communicated directly, �he just sent me a friend request one day out of the blue and I said whatever because I no longer felt anything towards him good or bad�.

So, I'm finally reaching a point where I'm starting to believe that yes, she does not look at these things the same way I do and am ready to just move on.

Then I find out that during our dating period that she was actually dating other men, despite telling me this had not happened in our courting period.

And then the final red flag, Mr. one night stand/STD (that supposedly occurred after her break up and a month before we met) got multiple dates, one of which was the night right before her and I were intimate for the first time.

She swore up and down that they had slept together prior to meeting me, these other dates were just normal dinner and drinks and her main reason for going out on them was she was afraid to be burned by putting all of her eggs in one basket so to speak (this is what had happed with the married guy who played her).

I understand this and can accept this, but here is the problem:

None of these revelations were offered up freely.

Each and every time I had to literally expose her lies with things I had found out over time, and unless painted into a corner with no room to flee, she would not own up to anything of her own free will.

Being lied to screws up a person's mind, badly.

Because you never know what else is out there or if you ever fully get the truth once they �confess�.

We are now literally at the crossroads of a divorce because of this, I told her in the beginning and I have reinforced year after year that I can forgive any mistake but not continued deception.

TL;DR

Deep down inside I believe one of two things:

She has screwed up multiple times due to her own insecurities and put herself in compromising positions but nothing happened and I am unable to trust her due to being burned over and over.

Or, she was sleeping with the two of us in the beginning and/or screwed around with her co-worker and is deathly afraid to come clean because she thinks I will walk.

The thing is, and I have literally said this at the point of having tears in my eyes, I am here to make this work I just need the truth once and for all.

***Side note, I asked her if she would be willing to take a polygraph, she said she would but I also know she has and will bluff until the 11th hour so to speak, I just don�t know what to believe anymore more.

Would post the story for this one but it's loooooong.

quote:

I [18F] don't know if I should report my mum's [53F] friend [50sM] for owning 80 guinea pigs

# ¿ Oct 12, 2016 19:51

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

quote:

Me [43 M] with my gf [43 F] - she is a former serial cheater and self proclaimed slut, can she ever change?

Now I've never called her a slut, those are her words (before everyone slams me), but she says she knows "she is." She has only had two relationships ever where she never cheated or had back ups on the side. She cheated on her ex-husband for their entire relationship. She estimates she's slept with roughly 300-400 men, and over a hundred were when she was married (married 15 years). Some affairs, some one nighter, etc. two years ago she left him, and started therapy for it. Since thn she was faithful to her guy, but def got very busy when they would break up (2-4 new guys in a week at times). But, didn't cheat on him or her first husband.

We are totally in love head over heels both never been here before like this. I believe her. I just wonder if she is feeling things stronger because she doesn't have her attention divided right now (I believe she is true to me so far). I get nervous though at some point she will get bored, and seek out attention or sex from other sources. Worried I'm setting myself up to fail.

So women who have an active past, or men who have married ones who did, do they really ever change, or am I setting myself up for failure? I do believe people can change, but this is a major part of her life and who she is. While she does have regret, she also often proudly boasts of sexual encounters and the like. Just nervous and scared! Any help appreciated!

Edit- she has been in therapy over two years. A committed loving relationship is her life goal right now. Cheating never made her feel good despite how often she did it. Want to give her the benefit of the doubt she can and has changed, just not sure it's possible when someone has had this kind of past....

** Tldr/ : do self proclaimed sluts really ever change?

# ¿ Oct 12, 2016 21:14

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

Regulation Size posted:

My [24f] boyfriend [29m] is in the hospital. Everyone is upset that I refuse to visit him.

Holy poo poo.

# ¿ Oct 13, 2016 03:04

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

Try to follow the rules in the op and things should be just fine

quote:

My [23 F] BF [26 M] of 4 years suggested we open our relationship. I said no and he said OK. Am I wrong for wanting to end this?

Hi Relationships, I'll try and be as brief as possible.

So me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 4 years now. We've had our ups and downs, and I actually broke up with him about a year ago because he was depressed, but I realized I made a mistake and we got back together. We moved in together about 10 months ago.

We are each other's first for sex and as serious long term relationship. I say that because even before he asked me about opening the relationship, I had a sense he was losing interest in me.

So yesterday, we had a discussion where he said he loved me with all of his heart and wants to be with me, but he doesn't want to regret not having been with anybody else in his life. I never knew he felt this way, but he said he has felt this for almost 2 years now. He said it was a feeling he hoped would go away, but he said it comes up in his head every so often.

He suggested we open the relationship for a period of time, and told me that he would support any decision I made. I was in tears at this point, and I told him no. He didn't look or act disappointed, but I suspect he was, but he hugged me and told me he loved me.

Now I don't know how I feel. I thought we were both happy being each other's first and only, and now I realize that it was only me who was happy like this. I don't think he has cheated on me, which is why he asked about opening the relationship. I do believe he loves me, and I still love him, even though I am hurting terribly.

Would it be irrational to end the relationship over this? This cut is still very fresh, so I'm not sure if I am thinking with a clear head right now, I really need to hear some opinions.

TL;DR: BF of 4 years wants to open our relationship because we are each other's firsts and only sexual partners. I am hurt, but not sure if this is grounds to end the relationship.

# ¿ Oct 13, 2016 17:52

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

WampaLord posted:

That dude is a basketball player in college and can't get laid?

Smdh.

"After one hangout they lose interest" probably because you didn't gently caress them, bro!

Tat's not what nice guys do.

# ¿ Oct 13, 2016 19:24

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

It's funny cause you can see moments in the story where he's lucid enough to know what happened was stupid.

# ¿ Oct 13, 2016 22:55

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

quote:

My boyfriend [30M] hid my [27F] medication while I was asleep

So this happened, and I really don't understand. I might be in the wrong, this just feels so upsetting.

My boyfriend and I have been together 2 years, and have lived together for most of them. We have a very good relationship, and are talking about starting our future together soon.

Me: I have some medical issues, including a long-term autoimmune disease. Recently I've been in and out of the hospital because of kidney stones. I was in a lot of pain, but don't tolerate narcotics well (itching and puking) so they gave me a low dose of tramadol, which they told me would be more mild on me. I really had to beg them not to give me anything stronger because there's almost no way I can avoid the side effects.

So it's been about 2 months since I last was in the hospital. About 2 weeks ago, I had a really bad migraine. I've gotten them since I was 14, they're diagnosed and everything. I did something that was probably wrong, which was take 1 tramadol to deal with the migraine. My boyfriend knew I took it, because I was asking him where the benadryl and dramamine was so I wouldn't be itchy or pukey. At the time, bf told me he wished I hadn't taken it because the doctor gave me tramadol SPECIFICALLY for kidney stone pain. I agreed, probably not the best thing to do, but I was in pain and it seemed logical at the time.

Yesterday, I decided to clean out my complete mess of a bathroom drawer, especially to throw away old pill bottles. I'm on a couple of medications for my autoimmune disorder, and the bottles tend to pile up. So I cleaned out my drawer, but the tramadol was gone. I just figured I had already thrown it out by mistake and didn't think twice about it.

At bedtime, I was mentioning to my boyfriend what an airhead I was, that apparently I had thrown out a bottle full of tramadol. He then confessed to me that no, he had hidden it from me. He said he didn't like that I took it for a headache instead of its intended purpose, so when I went to sleep that night he went in my drawer and took it.

A word on my boyfriend: he's straight edge, meaning he doesn't smoke, drink, or do drugs. Back when I was in undergraduate (you know, almost 10 years ago) I was not so straight edge. I drank maybe a bit too much and smoked weed. But none of this to any kind of excess, and no other drugs. I just had a good time partying, and by the time I was like 23-24 the fun of it wore off. I'll still have a drink every once in a while, once a month, tops. And yeah, I've been with my boyfriend and gotten a little tipsy. He ALWAYS says he doesn't mind, and it genuinely seemed like it didn't matter.

But now this. He apparently confiscated my medication because he thought I abused it (which, I admit, I at least used not for its intended purpose) and he thought I was going to abuse it more, so he hid it. I can't think of anything during our relationship that would have made him think I'm all of a sudden going to abuse narcotics, especially because I can BARELY stand them!

I'm really angry he would do something like this. In a sense, it's not like it matters, because I don't need them. But in another sense, it feels paternalistic and gross. At the very least, he could have had a conversation with me instead of taking them when I fell asleep.

Am I overreacting about this? Obviously he had no intention to tell me. If I wouldn't have noticed they were gone, I doubt he would have said anything. And, although I don't want go down a slippery slope train of thought, what else does he feel he can police me about? I talked to him about all this and he didn't have a good answer. We were going to bed and I was falling asleep so I just dropped it. But it's really bothering me.

tl;dr: My boyfriend decided I misused my medication, took it from my drawer when I was asleep, and hid it. Had no intention of telling me. Finding this very troubling, what do I do?

# ¿ Oct 14, 2016 02:21

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

quote:

Me [23 M] with my so [22 F] of 3 years, so is talking very inappropriately with other guys, not sure where to go from here.

I've been noticing some weird behavior from my so and I'm looking for advice and some perspective. Its also hard because we live and work together.

About a month ago, I found out my gf had an OKCupid account, I had asked her to delete it. She told me that she has it to meet friends. I'm not sure if there is some setting to only meet friends, but i noticed that it was left on a page with guys and their percentage match with her. About a month after I found the app was still on her phone. I'm not a snooper, but I occasionally just open her phone to read reddit or something while mine is charging. I confronted her about it and she deleted it in front of me and says she deactivated her account.

About 3 months ago, while she is out bowling with friends, I got a little worried because she isn't responding to me. I open her laptop, and on imessage, I see she is talking really sweetly with a guy. Yes, I invaded her privacy, not good, but I do not like what I am seeing here. I confront her over the phone, she denies everything. When she gets home, keeps denying everything until I ask for her phone and to explain all this to me. Messages include i love yous, i miss you, pictures to each other (no nudes, just selfies), and the ugliest one: she told him "im horny right now". Looking through the messages, this guy knows she is in a relationship, and has suggested her to find her own apartment when she tells him she is frustrated with my messiness. They also met up at the bowling place. She tells she was there with friends and was staying at a friends house before going to the bowling alley. I looked at the location data, and it not any friends house I recognize. She explained it was her friend Kim's house. In a previous snooping episode, it was the place she went to for a sleepover. I get anxious when she's not with me or stays the night somewhere else, once, without letting me know she was going to spent the night. Back to the messages, after much frustration, I ask her to tell her just tell the guy to never talk to her again and block his number and i will wholeheartedly forgive her. She cried for this guy. She gave me some bs about her being polyamorous, which I will absolutely not accept in our relationship.

About a month later, while just noticing out of the corner of eye, a "kim" is messaging her. While snooping, I find out its the same guy and she walks away when I confront her, I dont chase after her. I did find a message where he say i love you to her, but did not see any of her saying it back, but again, it was just a topical snoop, no looking into back history. I decide to go to the park and run. I ask where she is and refuses to tell me. After a while she tells me where she is, but she is not there. I tell her i want her to rip this guy's heart by saying some really mean things, including to say that she led him on for our amusement so he can leave us alone. I'm not with her when she claims she did this. She offers no proof, deleted her text logs and says I just have to trust her that that she told him the mean things over the phone. When I do pick her up, she is near one of her ex's house who she is still friends with (but i'm OK with that friendship as she has explained that she didn't love him anymore and they have many mutual friends). I am not sure if she visited him. I have explained that this guy she is talking to knows we are together, is disrespecting our relationship by flirting with her and it sickens me for her to talk to another person the way she talks with him. We stay together, but I have very little trust for her now.

Last night, as she is about to go to a halloween event, I press the home button on her phone to check up on the battery percentage and I notice two messages on notification, in one, another guy she is talking to calls her "babe". It is only coming from him and she is not calling him names back from the timngs I see. Looking through past messages, she is meeting this guy at the halloween event. She says she is just going with her best friend (f) and is only buying tickets from him. I ask for proof, which she refuses to produce, and walks away. After a while, she somes back and I tell her to leave. She asks what she can do, says that we broke up a week ago after we had a fight, says she still loves me, wants to stay, seems like shes on an emotional rollercoaster, she stayed at her mom's last night.

All this stuff is happening once a month for the past few months that I snoop into her messages. I have very little trust in her, especially when she deletes her conversations after I confront her.

TL;DR - my gf is talking sweetly to other guys, as far as i know, nothing sexual has happened.

Right now, I called in sick and i'm home right now. This is my first real relationship, my long time friend, my first kiss, lost my virginity to her, we have a cat, I spend Christmas with her family, her family likes me, we work at the same place. I'm inexperienced and I dont know what to do.

# ¿ Oct 14, 2016 20:03

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

quote:

My boyfriend [m36] got mad because I [f24] made a comment about another guy. Was I being inappropriate?

I need to know who is in the wrong in this situation! So my boyfriend and I are very much in love. We have absolutely no issues. We barely fight, maybe a bicker here or there like any couple, but we are in a very healthy relationship. We just bought a house that we are about to move into and we are planning to get married sometime next year. I'm also 7 months pregnant.

So he was drinking last night after work watching football and made a sexual comment about the cheerleaders. It was a stupid guy comment like "I want to stick it up her butt." I didn't think anything of it but it hurt my feelings a little bit because our sex life hasn't been the sexiest since I've gotten pregnant. I called him out on it and he said he was kidding. He always tells me I'm beautiful and sexy but he sometimes makes sexual comments like that without any thinking. I usually just brush it off because I feel that it's mostly harmless.

Fast forward 2 hours later. I ordered a pizza and the delivery man shows up at the door. I pay for the pizza and close the door. As I sat down I made a comment that the pizza guy was "kinda cute". That's when my boyfriend lost his mind. He started yelling and asking why would I ever say that to his face and accused me of wanting to gently caress the pizza guy. I told him that it was an innocent comment and I didn't mean anything sexual by it. I then pointed out the comment that he made earlier about the cheerleaders and how it was worse than my comment because it was sexual. "That's different because I will never touch them because they are on the TV! This guy was at my door!" He then told me that he cannot trust me anymore and that he thinks I will just gently caress any guy that I think is cute. This made me so angry because I will never cheat on him and never even think of cheating on him. He was so mad at me that he slept on the couch last night because "he didn't feel comfortable sleeping next to me."

So I barely got any sleep last night because I was so upset. I figured he drank too much last night and he would apologize this morning. But he didn't. He barely gave me a kiss when he left for work and told me I was "being mean last night" and that he will "hit on other women in front of me so I know how it feels."

I am so angry at him and his immature behavior. He has never been like this and I feel like he's overreacting. It really hurt my feelings that he said he will hit on other women in front of me to make me jealous because I didn't even hit on the delivery guy! Is my boyfriend acting crazy?

TL;DR - I said a delivery guy was "kinda cute". Boyfriend lost his mind.

# ¿ Oct 14, 2016 22:03

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

Captain Lavender posted:

My boyfriend [24 M] pranked me in a horrible way and I [20 F] broke it off with him. He wants to work through it and I’m worried I’ve made the wrong decision. Who’s right here?
(This is re: spiders, if that bothers you, fyi)

There's probably going to be an update where she takes him back.

# ¿ Oct 16, 2016 00:29

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

corn on the cop posted:

knew i was going to enjoy this one when i read the title

He's dating Peggy Hill

# ¿ Oct 16, 2016 18:21

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

corn on the cop posted:

this is really sad

This relationship is dead. I hope someone tells this guy that.

# ¿ Oct 17, 2016 04:14

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

quote:

I [21F] cannot stand my [23M] live-in boyfriend of 4 years and don't know how to get out.

Yup. We've been together for 4 years, and lived together last year as well (which went awful - I broke up with him once, etc.) and did not necessarily want to live with him again but he convinced me to.

And 2 months into the lease, here I am again - upset, hating my living situation (never inviting friends over).. none of my friends like him and neither does my mom. I am not attracted to him, and am growing to resent him more and more every day. There are "good days" where I feel cuddly/appreciative of him, but other days, I am just completely turned off.

Being so young, I am not going to lie - I find other guys attractive. More attractive. And I know the grass is not always greener on the other side - we had actually broken up for a month and although I did get hurt by another guy (got over it in a week or so), I still do not want to be back in my old relationship.

Problem is though, we are on a shared lease and have two parking spots here. I am not technically the main lease signer, but I am his cosigner.

My only way out so far seems to be if I can get this job opportunity in another state and move away. Whenever I try to talk to him about moving out in general, he gets REALLY mad and is very mean (telling me he'll lock me out of our shared bedroom, etc.) and does not handle the conversation maturely. He says HE wants to move out in that case and have ME take over this spot. I don't want to be here. I don't know what to do.

Thanks for reading if you got to this far.

TL;DR boyfriend and I live together and share a lease (I am his cosigner); I hate our relationship and want out but he is mean when we talk about it

# ¿ Oct 17, 2016 12:40

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

Lockback posted:

People are terrible (if true)

I had no idea people converted old churches into homes before this post.

# ¿ Oct 17, 2016 19:25

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

Big Black Brony posted:

The no respect for private property post got me heated. Who the gently caress thinks it's reasonable that once a dilapidated property gets purchased and renovated you can still do what you want on it? And then be mad when you get called out for it too. It's like what if people just started loving off on your land and home, you just going to say, "oh well they did it before!"

Buy a gun and build a wall.

Welcome to the republican party

# ¿ Oct 17, 2016 20:48

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

quote:

I [21 M] recently learned that my girlfriend [18 F] of almost 2 years is polyamorous. It breaks my heart.

I met my girlfriend in school and we are now in our last year before graduation (same class). A few weeks ago she "came out" to me, she identifies as polyamorous. Apparently she has been in love with a couple of guys during our relationship, but she broke the contact with them since she did not want to lose me. Just to make it clear, she never did anything with them, she feels very strongly about cheaters.

A week after that I found out that she was in love with a guy in our class as well and that hurt a lot more. They are good friends and she says that if she can�t be with him, she at least wants to remain friends. She still choses me even though it hurts her.

I�m a very monogamous guy. I�ve been clear from the start that I wanted something that could last a lifetime. Now I know that we won�t be together after graduation. I had been dreaming of moving in together and building a life together but now I feel a bit used. Used and disgusted. How can someone call it love if they can�t be satisfied with it?

The perfect relationship for her would be multiple guys she could jump between whenever she felt like it. I just want to puke when I think about it. I could never just sit around hoping that she would chose me for the night when I want to spend every day of my life with her.

As I read this I realize that she might sound heartless, but she is very sorry for all of this. If she thought that she could live her life with one guy that guy would be me, she says that she truly loves me and I believe her even though I can�t understand her.

I had a hard time writing this and I�m not sure what I want out of it. Do you guys have any comforting words? Anyone with experience of polygamy?

tl;dr: My girlfriend is polyamorous, she wants to have multiple relationships at once and I can�t stand the thought of it.

# ¿ Oct 17, 2016 20:53

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

quote:

Boyfriend (36/M) wants to downgrade our relationship back to casual. I'm heartbroken (36/F) about this and don't know how I should be taking this news. I know I'm handling it wrong though.

Been seeing each other since February 2015 on a casual basis. He works away and we only saw each other a small amount last year. This year we got a little more serious. I thought that we were starting to develop feelings for each other. When the time came for him to go working again I kept pushing him to have a talk about where we were going, what would happen while he was away. He was reluctant to have the discussion and reluctant to commit. I asked him outright if he wanted to be in an exclusive relationship and he said "it would be nice but I can't ask you to wait around". I said I wanted to and would do and that was that.

He came home for the winter time last month and we planned a trip together. Before the trip he was quiet and it got to the point I was outright asking what was wrong with him. He kept saying he was busy at work and didn't have time to reply.

On the trip we had a brilliant time. Every day was perfect. I forgot I was worried about us and decided it must have been work stress. One day we were laying around our apartment and he kept pushing me to go out to the local bar. I said I didn't really fancy a beer just yet and kept saying I wanted to just relax but he insisted. We got out and after a few drinks he ended our relationship. Sat in a beer garden, surrounded by strangers.

I was devastated. I am an emotional person and I immediately felt tears. He was waffling on and I could barely hear. I just wanted to leave. I felt like everyone was watching this car crash.

We went for a walk on the beach and tried to talk. I was still sobbing like a little bitch and couldn't form sentences. I just stopped talking. He waffled on and on trying to fill the silence.

He basically said it's not me it's him. He doesn't think a relationship is possible. He doesn't want that. He says he wants to live in a different country and there may be opportunities for him to work on the other side of the world and he wants to apply for that. He says I don't want that. (He's never asked what I want). He says we aren't in love (I think I am). He cried too. Said we are amazing friends and he didn't want to lose that. He said I am "the best friend he has". We decided that we would have some time apart and then go back to the friend thing.

I messaged him on the day we got home because I was miserable without him and feeling sorry for myself and he said we should talk face to face and not via messaging. We arranged to meet the very first night he was home from work a week later. Just as we would have if we were still together. We met at a hotel, we talked and drank. Again he said we wasn't in love and that he didn't want a relationship. However "boxsets and poo poo there's no one I would rather be with". After the chat it was like nothing changed. We watched some boxsets and poo poo, we people watched and belly laughed. We had sex (I know). We spoke about doing stuff in the future, I'm buying a house and he was offering to help with things in the house. It was just like before. He has text me every day since, which he didn't do before.

That was this weekend. This morning I'm devastated again. I've cried all the way to work and I'm struggling to hold it together.

I don't know what to do. I don't want to cut him out of my life because I genuinely saw him as part of my future. You know, potential husband material. We are great friends and I've never felt so comfortable with a man.

However, he is going to go away again and he has outright said he doesn't want a relationship but he is happy to talk all day long and have sex. He's getting all the good bits and I'm getting no commitment.

I don't want to tell him I love him after he has told me he doesn't love me. I haven't reached out to him, he has been the first to text all week and that's unusual. I want us to be a happy, normal couple that wake up next to each other each day and that's very unlikely.

What do I do? How do I feel better? I'd love to say how do I make him realise how fabulous we were but I'm not a little girl anymore and realise my options are pretty much limited to sucking this up.

Sorry for the wall of text. I haven't really talked this through with anyone as yet.

Tl;dr Boyfriend doesn't see a future for us but wants to boxset and bang.

# ¿ Oct 17, 2016 22:07

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

check out my Youtube posted:

How does he even manage to prevent her from shaving in the first place? She talks about not being able to shave before going swimming like there is an actual impediment and he can somehow stop her even though he's out of town.

Probably because if she shaves while he's away he's going to throw a fit saying that she was cheating on him and will leave her and she doesn't want that because she loves him.

# ¿ Oct 17, 2016 23:47

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

quote:

My sister's [26F] husband [34M] admitted to having feelings for me [26F]. Family get-togethers have gotten very uncomfortable.

My sister got married 4 years ago. Her husband, Dan, is not the best guy in my opinion. My parents aren't too fond of him, either. He's not abusive as far as we can tell, but he's just not a good guy. He's rude, he doesn't treat my sister with much respect. She's pregnant right now and he's constantly making "jokes" about how as soon as the kid is born he'll be heading to the bar every night, he won't change a single diaper, just call him when the kid is old enough to talk. Just super funny stuff, obviously.

Which isn't to say my sister is a helpless victim. She knew what he was like before she married him. And she listened to my parents, me, our brother, several friends all tell her that they didn't think it was for the best. Plus she's just such a pushover. She lets him do whatever the hell he wants and just goes with it. And they make horrible decisions. He cheated on her about a year in. So she cheated on him to get back at him. I honestly don't know what happened. My parents have one of the most respectable, loving relationships I've ever seen. And my brother and his wife are just amazing together. But I still love her. She's my twin sister. And outside of her relationship she's an amazing, smart, funny, insightful, beautiful woman.

But here's my problem. About 3 months ago, her husband admitted he was attracted to me and would pursue me if he wasn't married. He didn't tell me this, he told my sister. And of course she came bawling to me about it. Did she dump him? No, of course not. She decided she was fine with it since I would never sleep with him or anything. I told her I didn't support that decision, but whatever. She did it anyway.

In the last 3 months, every time I've seen him, it's incredibly loving awkward. My sister and I live in the same apartment building, so that's pretty often. And our brother lives not far away, so we all get together with our SOs often. We want our sister there, and her husband is part of the deal, so he's always there, too. Plus we see our parents about once a month for dinner. My family is very close and always has been. About a month ago he got super drunk and started flirting with me very heavily. I shut it down and told my sister...her reaction consisted of scolding him and then dropping it. I just hate being in the same room as someone who is so despicable.

I don't know what to do. I love my sister and don't want to cut her out of my life. But I can't deal with her husband. But if she comes somewhere, he comes, too. Uninviting him would drive her away, which I don't want. Does anyone have any advice that I'm missing here? I have no idea how to handle this.

tl;dr: My sister's husband has a crush on me, I hate it and she won't do anything about it. I don't want to be around him but I don't want to drive my sister away. I have no idea what to do.

# ¿ Oct 18, 2016 05:54

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

quote:

Me [23 M] with my GF [23 F] 5 years today, basically cheating via tinder. Should I do this crazy plan

So basically it was my birthday at the beginning of this month and she was over, things felt slightly off and a friend of mine had told me a while back that he saw her on tinder. I laughed it off because I couldn't believe she could do something like that. It is our 5 year anniversary today and because I was away with friends i went to see her before i left. We went to the cinema and my mum called her, I had no signal on my phone so she phoned my um back and gave me her phone. I went outside and had a conversation about dinner with my mum. Then we hung up and I had my Girlfriends phone unlocked. That's when i Saw tinder.

She had conversations going back to June and 78 matches. I felt horrible looking at this, I felt like i was in the wrong for invading her privacy and that i shouldn't be doing this. I then saw that she was arranging to meet guys the weekend before our 5 year anniversary. I lost my poo poo, literally, i spent ages on the toilet and planned a way to get her out the cinema without thinking she had been rumbled.

Before locking her phone I take a screenshot of a whatsapp conversation that only had one message from a guy clearly in reply to something (this later comes in handy) just so i have proof that i wasn't dreaming it up. I walk right up to her, notably shaken because of what i know but say "my mum is in hospital, we need to go." i basically run to her car acting like its real -I'm a good actor- we both get in the car and the show is off. I'm straight faced and I as her if she has anything to tell me. She says no. What basically happens from here is her denying poo poo and then me proving it actually happened. By the end of the conversation the following is established: she has had tinder since june when we fell out over a trivial issue; she kept it ever since as it made her feel "wanted"; she met up with one guy for coffee and that was it.

Naturally, I love her and I wanted to believe her, but something in me screamed that she was lying. She said she wasn't sure if we should break up or not and me being the idiot that I m want to stay with her. Reading this i would be screaming "idiot" too, but I love her, we have been together for 5 years, we have lived together for 4, but currently long distance because of work commitments. I loved her from the first week of our relationship, I will always lover her.

Anyway, this is where i get a little bit on the invasion of privacy horrible thing to do end of the spectrum. We all know what is coming. We have the same itunes account, she doesn't really understand how it works and i used find my iphone to find out she was lying about her whereabouts and used my ipad to receive imessages she receives.

I called her out on the bullshit but holding specific things back so she doesn't really know how i know and she denied everything. she sent a text message to her friend saying "the Swiss guy is asking if he'll have to wait until the weekend to see me again..." it goes on... Anyway this is where my screenshot comes in handy, the whatsapp conversation was from a foreign number. You guessed it, a swiss number!

So i have this guys number and she is denying everything do i call this guy up and ask what is really happening between them? I have the feeling there are other guys too but i think if i get this one guy she will open up about the rest? I don't really know. I'm mentally and physically destroyed by this and feel like i'm losing my mind. I feel i should say i wouldn't cause anyone any physical damage. I just want answers.

Thanks

tl;dr

GF is cheating and denying she is, got the guys number should i phone him and ask what is really happening?

# ¿ Oct 18, 2016 17:37

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

quote:

Me [34F] with husband [32M] married 6 years, sex with him is getting weird and he isn't listening [NSFW]

Disclaimer: There is NO abuse in the relationship. Emotional, physical, or other wise. I know it's easy for people to go there, but this isn't a "whole scope" scenario. It's only the sex part.

Before we were married, my husband wasn't completely honest about his sexual preferences, which I think is due to shame. He was raised in an uber christian house and kicked out at 14 for watching porn.

To keep that scenario short, he is into T-girl porn, enjoys pegging, etc. Honestly that is not a problem. The problem is he isn't listening to me and has begun to get really loving selfish. Sex is starting to become all about him and I'm starting to feel less like his wife and more like a toy. More so, he has started using all of my sex toys (vaginal) for himself (anal). Without telling me. I found out because we are stuck sleeping separately due to me co sleeping with our son, and while cleaning the room he is sleeping in (cause it was a wreck), I found most of my sex toys, plus his, plus lube, plus a disgusting pile of condoms he uses for the toys (not cheating, in case your mind goes there).

We haven't been able to have much lately cause of the baby, but when we do, he's gotten pretty demanding. I have work, school, baby, and a house and I'm honestly so busy I'm drained. I've got a ton of homework to do right now and he is in the bathroom giving himself a drat water enema. I went to drop kiddo off at daycare and before I left he asked if we could have sexy times. I said yes but it would have to be quick cause I have a lot to do and I got back half an hour ago and he is still in the bathroom. I don't have time for this. And this happens all the drat time.

His porn collection is also outrageous. He looks at it ALL the time and I'm pretty sure spends half the day masturbating. Honestly, I don't know how to handle this.

tl;dr: Think husband is a selfish sex addict. How do I talk to him about this? How do I get balance in our sex life? How do I get him to even be realistic about it?

Edit:

I've taken the time to read all the differing opinions, insights, and variations of experience. I will be using these as a guide to help decide which direction we need to go, how to approach this, and how to talk to him. I thank you all for your insight and input.

Couple things:

Him using my toys- I mentioned it because yes, it's disgusting. I'm well aware of health and hygiene. I will not be using those again. You all can relax on that front. This will also be addressed.

Co-sleeping: to those of you concerned about kiddo's well being, thanks. But this post was NOT about that. Let's all assume that as the parent, I know what I'm doing. I have a computer, access to the Internet, and have an IQ higher than those buying stock into creation theory and the anti-vax movement. For what it's worth husband is out of the bed at night because of safety reasons and I'm working on transitioning baby out of bed (lots of crying involved and having him there stresses me out.) SO takes sleep aids, baby is a roller and a crawler, and is also a Velcro baby. I was strongly against co-sleeping. Baby had other plans. It happens. May you all be blessed with unicorn babies who are perfectly healthy and sleep with no issues. Neither one of us are fans of the current set up but it is what it is. For those with a "family bed", that's because that set up works for them. It does not and would not for us. All kids are different, with their own unique needs, wants, and personalities. You can assume that one way is the "right" way all you want. Meanwhile reality will take that wheel and steer you right off the cliff. You could either stick with trying to drive the car as you fly through the air or change tactics and grab the parachute. Your choice. But regardless, I'm not here for a discussion in your beliefs about my parenting. It also has no weight or bearing on the matter.

# ¿ Oct 18, 2016 19:02

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

Samuel L. ACKSYN posted:

there's a good one in r/legaladvice

[Dallas, TX] I found out that I [36M] am not the father of my daughter [11F] but my father [60s/M] is the father; my wife [34F] told me last night. Struggling to cope. What are my legal options?

lol

He should go to Maury

# ¿ Oct 18, 2016 19:14

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

quote:

My (32M) Wife (33F) is the Hamburgler of Orgasms: Takes Them All, Gives None in Return

Okay, so I'm crappy with analogies. Long time lurker, first poster. Throwaway even though she doesn't visit much past r/crafts. Together 6 years, married 3 years. No kids, by choice.

Our marriage is everything I could ask for. Lady is smart, hilarious, kind, sassy, and with legs that could make you cry. She frequently compliments me, too, and apparently I'm none too shabby (her words). We truly enjoy reach other's company, and 6 years on, we still have that giddy first-date spark. We have a strong, open line of communication and have been able to address and resolve any conflict thats ever come along. Except for this.

I'll get right into the nuts and bolts (and hamburgers?). When it comes to sex, she will take anything I give her, but doesn't return the favor. She's not mean about it, she doesn't turn up her nose or make excuses, it's just like she forgets. For example:

We get touchy, she gets flirty, and the sexy times begin. As is her preference, I go down on her first and then sport the sausage, but it only lasts a couple of strokes. She goes to town, gets off, and then rolls over and goes to sleep. I'm left there hanging (so to speak) with her assurances of "making it last" still ringing in my ears.

This is some backwards Twilight-Zone stuff, like whatever the equivalent is for a female "one pump chump". In the morning, I will delicately allude to my 'needs', and she'll enthusiastically promise head. The evening will come and go, maybe even a week or two, and it will come up again (she brings it up herself sometimes). She'll be horrified she forgot, and the usual line is that it just didn't cross her mind. Rinse, repeat.

We have talked through everything over the years- too vanilla/ kinky, too often/ rare, PIV or pegging, history, abuse, romance, babies, sexuality, pron, faps, darkest desires and insecurities -you name it. Her enjoyment is genuine, I would be gobsmacked if she was faking. I've gently covered all this ground, always during a neutral time (not in the heat of the moment, not catching her off guard). We've each shared a lot, but nothing that ever explains why she spaces out. Any time therapy it mentioned, it gets there same treatment- "Yes, absolutely!" and then it goes by the way side.

I am tempted to suspect cheating, but between her work and hobbies, her time is pretty well accounted for (Plus, the nosey old lady next door wouldn't be able to keep any gossip to herself.) No secrecy with accounts/ phones, nothing. Also, there are no emotional distancing/surges usually seen with infidelity.

Folks, I'm at a loss. Does this ring any bells? It's not exactly a dead bedroom, and it has been this way as long as we've been together. Am I just a complete sap, or do I have really selfish expectations?

tl;dr : Wife gets off before I do, doesn't return the favour. Is this common? What do?

# ¿ Oct 18, 2016 19:30

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

Long as gently caress but uhh, some goon might wanna be nicer to their dad, he works hard:

You left out the best part: Bill is 21, step-dad is 32

# ¿ Oct 18, 2016 21:13

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

quote:

My boyfriend and I tried pegging a few nights ago. He [23M] loved it, whereas I [21F] hated it. I don't want to deprive him of something he enjoyed but I feel dirty for doing it.

We've been dating for almost a year and are moving in with each other soon. We have a very healthy sexual relationship where communication is key. I am willing to try new things for him and he likewise. There are things he doesn't enjoy doing that he does because I love them like blindfolding, face sitting and ironically anal. (I like his real dick in my butt). These things get me off so easily but he has told me he does it purely for my pleasure. This is why I feel bad about pegging.

The other night, my friend from college had a sex toy party (she sells sex toys and invited her friends over, it was kind of like a Tupperware party but with dildos). I get really drunk and end up buying a strap-on dildo. I take it home to show off to my boyfriend who immediately gets a twinkle in his eye. He wants to try it out. I am a little more sober by this point and am perfectly keen to try something new. I fasten it to my pelvis, lube it up, and he flips over. I stick it in and ... immediately feel weird.

I look down at my convulsing, groaning boyfriend, whom I am now rear end-loving, and feel disgusted. However, seeing him in so much pleasure made me realize this must be how he feels when I insist he lets me sit on his face or ravish my behind. I know he does not enjoy anal but I love it and I know the pleasure he must be feeling. But now from this totally new perspective, I can see how the other party may not enjoy it as much as the recipient.

Reddit, what should I do? I love anal when he is in me, but pegging him makes me gag. Should I continue pegging him as he loves it so I may enjoy my turn, or should we both stop doing things we dont enjoy just for the other person?

I should mention that my boyfriend does not know I hate it. As far as he knows it is another position to add to our repertoire.

tl;dr: Boyfriend likes pegging. I do not. Is compromise possible?

# ¿ Oct 18, 2016 22:04

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

quote:

I [23F] was slapped and pushed by my BF [25M], but my parents are pressuring me to go back to him and not press charges.

Yeah, title kinda sums it up. [Edit: post was removed because I forgot the relationship's duration. Whoops. We've been together for a year, to clarify.]

I always knew my boyfriend had a couple of temper issues, but the final straw happened a week ago. I was considering going back to university, and he wasn't happy with that. We were drinking when he brought it up again. I was only a little tipsy (I don't like drinking too much because I hate getting nauseous and don't want to risk it) but he was pretty shitfaced).

He said he hated the idea of me going back to uni, because I was a stressed-out wreck when I did it years ago. When I insisted that this is what I wanted to do and this really wasn't his call, he snapped and backhanded me across the face. I was sort of shocked, called him a 'fucker', and he shoved me hard enough to knock me off my feet. I left the flat and haven't seen him since.

So. I'm definitely breaking up with him. Screw that. I did love him, but I'd be more broken up about leaving him if it wasn't for the fact that he goddam assaulted me.

Unfortunately, my parents are talking about "smoothing it all over" and getting me back with him. We've known him and his family for a while, and BF and I were childhood friends. My parents were always sort of nudging us together and were estatic when he and I started dating.

This isn't really 'nudging' this time, though. They're actively bugging me to apologise about upsetting him and talk it out to reach some kind of resolution. And no, I'm not doing that, not ever. He shoved me so hard that I hit my head and shoulders on the opposite wall. My cheekbone still looks horrendous. So, no, I'm not risking going out with a violent dickwad. I don't care if he was drunk. I've known plenty of people who drink excessively and they've never attacked anyone.

I've gotten some texts with him apologising. I blocked him on facebook and other forms of media. I fully intend to cut him off. I'm not letting my parents change my mind on that.

However, I was wondering if I should press charges. I have no proof but my own word that he attacked me, and it might be more trouble (or money) than it's worth to pursue this. Not to mention my parents would kick up an even bigger fuss.

But goddam. I have no idea what to think of my parents. They were always sort of shallow and overbearing, but I'm genuinely rethinking our relationship. It's almost as if they don't seem to care that he freaking hit me, and want me to go back with him just because it would suit our social circle better if we swept this under the rug.

Honestly, the way they're acting makes me want to reconsider being this close to them. The fact that they don't seem to care hurts. The fact that they're so willing to forgive the rear end that attacked me hurts. I don't know if I should cut them off, too. They're relentless about trying to convince me to do what they want. Every time I flat refuse and change the subject, they just keep talking about it.

Tl;Dr: (Soon to be ex) Boyfriend drunkenly assaulted me, my parents are being dickwads and bugging me to forgive and forget. Should I consider cutting off my parents too, if they continue to push this?

# ¿ Oct 19, 2016 12:37

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ May 9, 2024 06:04

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

quote:

I've [24 F] have been sleeping with my coworker [32 M] for about a year. Should I tell his wife?

A little more than I year ago, I had my first breakup. I was devastated and my coworker befriended me and was there for me. Fast forward a few months, I am still depressed about my ex and had heard that rebound sex helps (it does not), and I trusted him, so I asked. He said yes.

So, we start doing this and I begin to notice things are a little odd. He tells me that he lives with his sister and that she has dinner ready every day at 6pm, so he needs to be home by then. He would also take calls and he would distance himself from where I was to answer it. He also told me that his sister dropped him off every morning. Stuff like that. I thought it was odd, but I brushed it off. I dropped him off somewhere and I saw his sister. Weeks later, I came across his sister dropping him off only to see that this was a completely different woman. I confronted him and he explained that he and his ex co-owned a car, and that he got it on certain days and times (he had to rush home to get his car, not for dinner). I was upset that he lied, but I forgave him. Then one day I boss had me clean out all employee files and I came across his. I noticed that his contact person was listed as his �wife.� I was livid. He told me that he used to live with this person when he first started working here, and that he never changed it. It made sense, so I stupidly let it go.

More months pass, and I still have a suspicion that something is off. I question his �single� status repeatedly and he finally comes clean. He tells me that he is married. He is married, but he doesn�t touch her. They �are a marriage with only the lovely benefits.� I am upset, sad, and miserable. He made me his mistress. At this point, my feelings for him had turned to love, so it really hurt me to learn this. He insists that it is a sham marriage, and, well, I�I knowingly became his paramour. I had my good and bad days. On my bad days, I recognized that I was a terrible person with no scruples, but on my good days I was in love�.

Anyway, my bad days are becoming my life, and I want to end it. I feel guilty, and mostly, I am just tired of being his mistress. He is very controlling and I don't want to have to deal with this. I am not his wife. I want to say no more. But, do I tell his wife? I know that I am at fault for not ending it when I found out-this will haunt me for a while. I don�t want to ruin her life more than I have, but I, if it were me, I would like to know. I felt grateful to him because he helped me out when I needed it the most, but is keeping his secret the way to show my gratitude? I don�t know what to do.

TL;DR: Started sleeping with my coworker because i thought he was single, he was a wife, I become his mistress, I know that I am a terrible person, and I'm tired of it all. Do I tell his wife or keep it to myself?

# ¿ Oct 19, 2016 17:33

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

«‹›16 »