/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

Pvt.Scott posted:

Experience your joys

Haha what the gently caress is that. I haven't felt anything approaching happiness since I was 19.

# ¿ Dec 15, 2016 20:53

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# ¿ May 22, 2024 03:19

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

Clark Nova posted:

Tad Chundercock would make a good screen name.

Great, now I have Men At Work stuck in my head.

# ¿ Dec 15, 2016 22:37

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

WampaLord posted:

Did you miss that he asked her to bake poo poo for his "work wife" first?

She's probably trying to give him a taste of his own medicine, make him see how it feels.

Because that's a healthy way to resolve conflict. I mean yeah "work wife" is stupid as gently caress too but holy poo poo how petty do you have to be to think "you requested a thing for a coworker? well I'm gonna make stuff for everyone but that coworker! Also gently caress you, person I am in a relationship, you get nothing as well!"

I mean that's a pretty fantastic way to get someone with any spine to break up with you, if you like baking and want to pick up one of his coworkers.

# ¿ Dec 21, 2016 18:18

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

Danaru posted:

Getting drunk and ripping on Twilight sounds like a decent time, actually.

Tried it, nothing happens of interest. I'd rather watch Manos, Hands of Fate sober than Twilight drunk.

# ¿ Dec 22, 2016 20:31

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

WampaLord posted:

Is there a 4chan equivalent?

/soc/ is the cams & meetups board. It is exactly as you think it is.

# ¿ Dec 23, 2016 16:59

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

Griefor posted:

gently caress, I'd contact the police to see whether this is enough grounds for a restraining order.

Kidnapping is definitely grounds for a restraining order.

# ¿ Dec 23, 2016 20:05

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

Pick posted:

That still means they have a problem, medicating should be done with medicine.

I could either spend hundreds of my own out-of-pocket dollars on a psych who might possibly not be a piece of poo poo, who potentially takes anything I say seriously, and maybe gives me a prescription for whatever that could do me some good (and will likely also cost me a small fortune in upkeep)

OR

I could buy $20-30 of delicious beer a week. Gee, I wonder which sounds like the more feasible solution?

tl;dr: gently caress american mental health care.

# ¿ Dec 27, 2016 20:22

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

chitoryu12 posted:

She should probably also ask herself why a grown man who's old enough to be out of college is trying to gently caress a high schooler, and what this says about his own maturity.

Because he gets older, but they stay the same age.

# ¿ Dec 27, 2016 22:33

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

Pick posted:

we got a bread eater here, folks

He wins the bread so he can eat it.

# ¿ Dec 29, 2016 20:17

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

WampaLord posted:

I mean, it's a fairly normal reaction for noticing a wound on someone. Everything else he did is the gross part.

No it loving isn't. I don't care if I'm oozing blood through my shirt, you don't goddamn touch me unless I tell you to. Evan needs a loving restraining order against him, preferably harassment charges as well.

# ¿ Jan 4, 2017 20:22

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

Pearnicious posted:

I don't get why people on the internet jump to extremes and immediately start throwing out legal bullshit like "needs a restraining order" over stupid poo poo like this. Was it inappropriate? Yeah. Was it criminal. Nah.

I mean, think about it in "real life." A normal person would just have a conversation with this person about it and explain that it was inappropriate and that it shouldn't ever happen again. Can you imagine if everyone in real life acted like people on the internet? Every time someone accidentally bumps into you while walking you'd be screaming that they tried to murder you and they should be thrown in prison for life. Someone dials the wrong number and accidentally calls you; you'd probably try to press charges for harassment or something.

I like how you try to call me out for "jumping to extremes" and then dive a hundred times deeper into hyperbole. He didn't "try to have a conversation", he lifted up her shirt (never acceptable), then started berating her with his imagined version of events and then started going to every other person she knows and started lying to them about her relationship. If I started calling up all of your friends and family members and telling them I thought you were getting beaten regularly by your SO with no evidence, I would hope you'd think "this guy's a psychopath and needs to be dealt with legally" not "oh silly me, I should have worn my burqa to prevent anyone from getting the wrong idea about my sex life!" Go buy some reading comprehension and reread the story, but pay specific attention to this part:

quote:

after some badgering I admitted that yes, it was, but it was with my consent and encouragement.

They already had a conversation. The result of that conversation was him to go full psycho on her. Her next step is to either (a) call the police and have them deal with it, or (b) play tee-ball with his skull. He clearly isn't going to get the message any other way.

# ¿ Jan 4, 2017 20:53

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

^^^plural should definitely be milves

Pearnicious posted:

And some of it is just being outright obtuse.

*suggestion that woman might be able to resolve issue with an adult conversation* --> "that's victim blaming" --> *mental gymnastics* --> "you condone rape."

Why even try?

Maybe you should buy more people avatars, that will surely win your dumb argument for you

# ¿ Jan 5, 2017 17:45

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

CabaretVoltaire posted:

Weird porn that men like is all real stuff that's actually possible.

Please share with me the secret of turning my dick into 7 prehensile tentacle dicks that are all 10 feet long.

asking for a friend

# ¿ Jan 5, 2017 18:01

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

Sisal Two-Step posted:

what oh my god

wait, don't they also automatically delete posts if they mentioned sexual assault or something?

Yeah, if your post has the phrase "sexual assault" a bot deletes it and tells you to go find a rape survivor forum.

# ¿ Jan 5, 2017 19:26

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

PYF Muscomorphids

# ¿ Jan 5, 2017 21:56

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

Gaunab posted:

Here's a sad one

She's over it but she wants her brother to commit some good ol' A&B because of it. Makes sense.

# ¿ Jan 5, 2017 22:25

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

Pick posted:

The Gothest Manipulator

He should just sing this song to her every time:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s57FtD2HKLw

# ¿ Jan 10, 2017 20:02

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

Pick posted:

should of

She deserves him. :colbert:

# ¿ Jan 10, 2017 20:27

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

Pick posted:

I'd say murder but really it would just be easier to let the crazy go crazy and let the problem solve itself.

# ¿ Jan 10, 2017 22:51

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

Mirthless posted:

I will never understand these stories. Does this guy have a dick made out of solid gold that cums chocolate?

If I came chocolate I'd be a lot more okay with snowballing.

# ¿ Jan 12, 2017 19:29

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

WampaLord posted:

My husband's (35m) favorite phrase to say is driving me (28f) crazy

I bet if he gave her a time to be home she would start freaking out on him the second it became that time, or likely an hour before to "make sure [he] gets home on time".

# ¿ Jan 12, 2017 21:57

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

Mirthless posted:

What if she's negatively impacting the cash stream of the person heading the group?

I think it's either MLM or erotic roleplay (incl. vampire) because those are about the only two things I can think of where you'd need to be this loving cagey about it while still talking about it to other people, lol

edit: it's probably not furries, though. Furries are generally more decentralized than this and what little leadership there is is almost exclusively male.

Erotic MLM roleplay.

# ¿ Jan 12, 2017 22:14

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

Clark Nova posted:

Somewhat related, on the outskirts of town here there's a strip mall with a MTG card store and a payday loan shop right next door to each other.

Goddamn, that's a perfect storm of bad decisions just waiting to happen (and probably already has).

Edit:

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

who says they're that rare? the crazy idiot thinks they're his lotto tickets and the card shop probably gave a fair assessment at $150.

Guaranteed they did not. Card shops will never ever give you a "fair" price for your cards, especially if you're getting cash for them. Most stores that anyone actually wants to be in will give you about half of the middle value, but lovely shops might only give you half of the lowest, or a third of the mid, or just a set price based on rarity regardless of its current value. Like sure, if it's your poo poo and you need money right now for something, you take what you can get and the store has to make a profit somehow. But if you want to actually get your money's worth, you just straight up can't sell to a shop unless it's bulk commons no one wants.

Yawgmoth fucked around with this message at 19:40 on Jan 13, 2017

# ¿ Jan 13, 2017 19:34

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

Pick posted:

The sleep sex one is baffling. As far as I can tell he was doing exactly what he'd been instructed/allowed to do. And then she whips out "gaslighting"? In what loving sense?

She's the one who set up every domino in that situation. How could she even be aroused if she was unconscious and unaware she was going to have sex? The hell?

Maybe she gets off on waking up all sticky and possibly sore? :shrug:

# ¿ Jan 13, 2017 19:59

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

Spiders are awesome but tarantulas freak me right the gently caress out. Although if I had to pick between "enormous fuckoff huge spider that hisses" and centipedes, bring on the giant freak monster arachnids!

# ¿ Jan 16, 2017 20:47

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

Pick posted:

You don't have to pick you can have both

Improbable Lobster posted:

Tarantulas don't hiss or really make much of any noise

Is there not some sort of hissing tarantula that exists or am I thinking of some other disgusting hellcreature

# ¿ Jan 16, 2017 21:20

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

Improbable Lobster posted:

Nope

Typing "hissing tarantula" gets me 75,600 results to the contrary.

# ¿ Jan 16, 2017 21:49

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

Emong posted:

I think there's one or two Australian species that can hiss, too.

The Queensland whistling tarantula is what I was thinking of.

Oddly, if it did actually bark I'd be a lot cooler with it than it making hissing noises.

# ¿ Jan 16, 2017 22:00

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

Pick posted:

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Now imagine it barking at you. A big dog bark, not like a puppy bark.

Wait no, puppy bark is also acceptable.

# ¿ Jan 16, 2017 22:04

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

MF_James posted:

The day a spider purrs at me will be the first day I run away from a spider.

That means it likes you. Having spider-friends means never having any other annoying bug in the house!

# ¿ Jan 16, 2017 22:16

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

monkeytennis posted:

We are done with spiders. We're onto secretly filming your SO having a crafty five-knuckle shuffle now.

My [33M] girlfriend [2F] didn't tell me she was actually several tarantulas in a very realistic mannequin

# ¿ Jan 16, 2017 22:29

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

WampaLord posted:

And now, the most naive girl in the world!

My (21m) girlfriend (20f) of ~1 year was approached at a mall by a "modeling rep." It has to be a scam (or worse) but she is insistent that she meet up with this guy at his apartment. What the hell do I do?

This guy absolutely needs to go along or otherwise she's getting raped.

I think "just raped" is actually the best case scenario if he doesn't go with her.

He should just have her watch a handful of the SVU episodes where this exact thing happens.

# ¿ Jan 17, 2017 18:01

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

mfcrocker posted:

I'll be very disappointed if he didn't shout out "THE JUICE IS LOOSE!"

Anyway that thread has sensibly been locked because she needs to lawyer the gently caress up

We also would accept "GO WEB GO!"

Also if someone told me I had to throw something out that I enjoyed I'm pretty sure I would throw them out instead because people who say poo poo like "you should like that" are without fail the most boring & lovely people imaginable.

# ¿ Jan 18, 2017 17:09

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

Pick posted:

Ugh same

I keep mine about 2-3" below the bottom of my shoulderblades. Any longer and I worry I look like a church girl. You know the type.

To be fair, church girls do tend to have really nice hair.

# ¿ Jan 18, 2017 20:51

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

Mirthless posted:

People chewing crunchy food can actually give me a panic attack.

Sell your hair and use the proceeds to get therapy.

# ¿ Jan 19, 2017 17:47

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

Werong Bustope posted:

Also learn to never, ever tell anyone about it because then they think it's funny to chew in your ear and get butthurt when you lose your mind.

I think anyone whose reaction to "I have X so please try not to Y around me if at all possible" is to do Y even harder and closer to you deserve a solid and lengthy beating.

# ¿ Jan 19, 2017 18:26

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

Pick posted:

your long hair is only not gross as long as you do not encourage or discuss any positive qualities of poly relationships, Mirthless

Positive qualities of poly relationships, a complete list:

Funny as gently caress to read about when they inevitably collapse

# ¿ Jan 19, 2017 20:34

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

subhuman filth posted:

I like the idea of being "poly" as an inherent quality innate to a person which makes them fundamentally incompatible with only loving one person.

Surprise, retard. Literally everyone wants desperately to gently caress around outside their relationships, most people just have the discipline and empathy for their partners not to trap them into a farce of a relationship with their special snowflaking

lol "i'm a piece of poo poo so everyone else is, some just hide it better" just rofl

# ¿ Jan 19, 2017 20:59

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

Barudak posted:

Hey yo dont date people who take your clothes and hoard them. While it may seem like a romantic meet cute story to some of you, you need to parse out what decision making and communication skills that reflects.

Look any girl willing to date me clearly has poor decision making skills, I may as well go for the one who is weird in a non-murderous way.

# ¿ Jan 20, 2017 17:34

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# ¿ May 22, 2024 03:19

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

Gaunab posted:

I think that asking people "what the gently caress is the matter with you?" would convey all she needs to all involved.

# ¿ Jan 20, 2017 20:19

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