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Modus Pwnens
Dec 29, 2004

LethalGeek posted:

The final straw for me was when he got something to turn on the TV and play a song that our daughter likes, so she crawls over and sets off the next part of the machine.

Nope, that's awesome.

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Modus Pwnens
Dec 29, 2004

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

The rules of that subreddit are really bizarre and arcane, like you're not supposed to link to stuff, even other stuff on reddit for some reason? None of it makes any sense.

They also lock threads all the time with no explanation.

Modus Pwnens
Dec 29, 2004
She should've checked for boners imo.

Modus Pwnens
Dec 29, 2004

That one's so much better with the title, which ends with the phrase, "Is this normal?"

Modus Pwnens
Dec 29, 2004

Lockback posted:

People are terrible (if true)

There is only one solution.

:killdozer:

Modus Pwnens
Dec 29, 2004
Whilst sleeping with your dad I...

Modus Pwnens
Dec 29, 2004
At least she'll be saving on the wedding, too!

Modus Pwnens
Dec 29, 2004

quote:

Her and her husband are out on a cruz

:psyboom:

Modus Pwnens
Dec 29, 2004

Gumbel2Gumbel posted:

So back when my immune system was making all my muscles super tight and painful I tried to find a massage place in my super suburban area.

It turns out unless you go to a Physical Therapist it is almost impossible to find a legitimate massage place. Every loving place I googled for reviews showed up on a website for handjob enthusiasts called rubmaps.com or W/E it was where they talk about prices and what they'll do for you.

Seriously, just try it around you, you'll be shocked.

I ended up buying a stretching book for PT's because I don't want to spend $60 to dodge a handjob from an indentured servant.

Yeah, I almost went to a place that opened in my neighborhood and it takes about 30 seconds of research to see what's really going on.

Modus Pwnens
Dec 29, 2004

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

Who would even think to do poo poo like this? What the gently caress?

My [20 M] friend [20 F] lost her mom last week but she is not aware of her death.

Can't figure out video on mobile, but...

https://youtu.be/IqGN6aWKYUI

Modus Pwnens
Dec 29, 2004

Naerasa posted:



You crazy bitch, you can't eat a cake with a wand!

Watch me.

Modus Pwnens
Dec 29, 2004
Dad bod is a real and serious condition that affects millions of Americans each year.

Modus Pwnens
Dec 29, 2004
Here's a tip, don't marry someone if you don't like having sex with them.

Modus Pwnens
Dec 29, 2004
Technically, that's not porn. Promise kept imho.

Modus Pwnens
Dec 29, 2004

Motherfucker posted:

Goons are autistic creatures who assume you mean fastidious book keeping over every single expense rather than say, major expenses like new white goods or furniture.

This thread has ruined their ability to believe in common sense even among their own number

Wretched is the goon.

The example was literally going out for a lunch.

Modus Pwnens
Dec 29, 2004
(((parenting time)))

Modus Pwnens
Dec 29, 2004
:sever:

There's plenty of men out there with moobs and graphic t-shirts, she just needs to find the right one for her.

Modus Pwnens
Dec 29, 2004
You know what, I'm just going to come right out and say it, and I don't care what anyone thinks -- I don't like pedophiles.

Modus Pwnens
Dec 29, 2004
Fake. Only male nerds use female as a noun.

Modus Pwnens
Dec 29, 2004
Guy is obviously a gently caress up but mooning someone isn't sending them a nude jfc

I mean unless it was a fruit basket, then yeah.

Modus Pwnens
Dec 29, 2004

Fullhouse posted:

how much of your nude body do you need to send someone before it is 'a nude'

serious question. I want thread opinions

If you don't see taint, it's just quaint.

Modus Pwnens
Dec 29, 2004

Criminal Minded posted:

Oh, and what I referred to as the "Ball Machine," which was this glass-enclosed contraption which sent a bunch of metal balls flying around and running down ramps and poo poo. I watched that a lot. Props to St. Louis Children's Hospital.

It's still there, by the way.

Werong Bustope posted:

I [35/M] want to give my BIL [24/M] an ultimatum, but my wife [33/F] is not ready to. At the end of my rope

He's bringing drugs and hookers around their children. She cares more about her deadbeat brother than her own kids. That's a one-way ticket to divorce-town.

Did I say divorce? I meant :murder:

Modus Pwnens
Dec 29, 2004

Waterbed Wendy posted:

It will never not be weird. It's no one's fault, but it's really unfortunate. At least she found out early in the relationship so when she breaks up with him at least a lot of time won't have been wasted.

Having a nearly identical stripper sister is never not going to gently caress with her relationships, so I don't see why she needs to bail on this one.

E: Just noticed we both did the never not thing, that was subconscious. Not trying to mock or anything.

Modus Pwnens
Dec 29, 2004
Not /r/relationships obviously but other people need help too.

Modus Pwnens
Dec 29, 2004
If she really had one she wouldn't object to me sticking a snake cam up there. :colbert:

Modus Pwnens
Dec 29, 2004
If you can no longer respect your spouse or trust them to keep your child safe, why not divorce?

Modus Pwnens
Dec 29, 2004

Alan_Shore posted:

I honestly can't believe some people defended running away from your baby and leaving it with a possible murderer.

Look, why even have children if you can't use them as decoys?

Modus Pwnens
Dec 29, 2004

Zzulu posted:

imagine having this thing rummaging around your apartment, it'd loving destroy it



I don't know, he seems all right. I'd probably offer him a beer as long as he kept that bird outside.

Modus Pwnens
Dec 29, 2004
Does the concept of loans just not come up in Business Administration, or what?

Modus Pwnens
Dec 29, 2004

Mirthless posted:

"the taste of lettuce"






let me repeat that, because it's so loving absurd

"the taste of lettuce"

Lettuce has a strong taste to me. I used to hate it, now I love it.

Modus Pwnens
Dec 29, 2004
Wow this is so appalling, terrible really *spends hours clicking through to every group and mentally cataloging all the pictures*

Modus Pwnens
Dec 29, 2004
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tyHm8oqkOB0

Modus Pwnens
Dec 29, 2004
He shouldn't be arrested for saying he's a pedo but he should get a surprise raid on his computers.

Modus Pwnens
Dec 29, 2004

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO posted:

Golden shower, then bail.

That would work to solve almost all these problems.

Modus Pwnens
Dec 29, 2004
Hey, she cheated on him with her co-worker. gently caress her, gently caress her friends, and gently caress her friends' families both literally and figuratively. Just revel in it. Scorch the earth!!!

Modus Pwnens
Dec 29, 2004

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO posted:

The word for today is enema

Listen lady, where else was I supposed to drain it, your sink?

Some people!

Modus Pwnens
Dec 29, 2004

quote:

Does anyone have any idea what he was thinking and why in the world he'd say something like that?? 

Truly a mystery for the underages.

Modus Pwnens
Dec 29, 2004
Seriously though the enema thing is loving weird but if that's her reaction to a little poo juice in the tub she'd better never get a pet or have a baby, that's all I'm saying.

Modus Pwnens
Dec 29, 2004

ZearothK posted:

I've had cats and dogs for literally my entire life and I'd still throw out a person making GBS threads on my bathtub.

Oh yeah for sure, I just meant the retching and thinking it will never be clean again.

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Modus Pwnens
Dec 29, 2004

Is that .com, or...?

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