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LethalGeek
Nov 4, 2009

FAAAAAAAAAAAGS - a weak rear end attempt to get everyone riled up.

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LethalGeek
Nov 4, 2009

loquacius posted:

I have never made a woman orgasm and it's cost me several relationships now. I have started researching and realized that these women were wrong and the female orgasm is just a myth. Confessing that I want to try and reach out again to let them know this fact without coming across as "weird".

My first girlfriend was in high school. We waited a while to have sex and in the mean time, I watched as much pornography as possible to get ready. I know porn isn't realistic in a lot of ways, but a lot of the basic moves are applicable. So the first time we had sex, I moved as fast as I could. I got off pretty quick (lol virgin) but she didn't. I offered to try again later after my refractory period, but she just dismissed it. We tried a few more times in the next few weeks. Each time the same thing - I'd go as fast as possible to try and get her going, I'd cum, but she wouldn't. I am not a machine so I couldn't keep up that high speed for long enough, that's what I thought at the time. How stupid I was!

The next two girls I dated were the same. I was chasing the mythical female orgasm and thinking I could activate it by moving fast enough and keeping it up long enough. Once I even jerked off secretly right before sex, so I'd have empty balls. I moved as fast as possible for almost 20 minutes to nothing. I got really angry at her then (my fault).

I do not want to date these girls again (they dumped me, dumb bitches at the time and I'm focusing on myself now) but I want them to be happy. If they believe they must orgasm, then they're going to be really unfulfilled in life.
"Hi world I want everyone to know I'm a failure"

LethalGeek
Nov 4, 2009

loquacius posted:

I guess I'm society now because that sounds super gross to me
I'm always curious how this sort of thing happens. Not the sex part, just how one goes from A - > B.

Hell it was weird when a friend who is a drinking/gaming buddy who laughs at stupid memes with me & I slowly found ourselves all hmmm we should gently caress after not being all flirty for 3 years. Took a while to process that and the next time we saw either was all "...so..." and teenage level of awkward. I can't even fathom making the Grand Canyon leap THIS would require.

LethalGeek
Nov 4, 2009

You gotta be ok with fat gf or tell her not to fat, you candy rear end

LethalGeek
Nov 4, 2009

Idk why people are having trouble believing the hick one seems 100% plausible to me. Have you met some of these people?

LethalGeek
Nov 4, 2009

There have been magic is totally real you all morons forever. You should know to instantly tune these folks out.

LethalGeek
Nov 4, 2009

There wasn't a TV in the room the first time I had sex now I feel like I missed out

LethalGeek
Nov 4, 2009

I think I would drown myself if I found myself digging the horrible bunch of people that are furries.

LethalGeek
Nov 4, 2009

grumplestiltzkin posted:

I don't see the problem with soon to be dead wife. Unless she had super obvious crazy beliefs before the cancer took over, she's probably just freaking out. Plus, I mean, she'll be dead. There's gently caress all she can do. She literally won't even know. Promise her you wont date, take care of her till she's gone, spend some time grieving and taking care of you/your emotions, then go out and smash some strange. She dies thinking you're a perfect husband, you get to be comfortable knowing you did as much as any reasonable person could do AND eventually get to play the dead wife sympathy card when its time to find a new girlfriend. Everybody wins.
:drat: that last part I didn't even think of.

LethalGeek
Nov 4, 2009

Gynovore posted:

I'm reluctant to dip my toes into the pool of crazy, but I need to point out that only a tiny percentage of libertarians are preppers. Most have IQs above room temperature.

lol let me tell you about the fun folks over at Bitcoin!

LethalGeek
Nov 4, 2009

I really have to laugh at the high IQ bit. I am/was one of those people too, HS was a joke then suddenly studying engineering in college is really drat hard oh poo poo! It was legit hard but you know life is hard sometimes you gotta try and you plainly are adverse as hell to this. I was a depressed mess working 32 hours a week on top of a full load in a hard rear end subject driving 2 hours a day through traffic, hating everything and just on autopilot banging it all out. It sucked, it sucked hard and is probably part of the reason the idea of returning to school gives me nightmares still. I did it though you excuse making gently caress up lol.

The REALLY funny part is after busting my rear end like that I am now cruising along in life. Anyone paying attention to my dumb posts will point out I'm working a very unspectacular job making ok money but hey I'm putting in less effort than you are now cept I have you know... a house lol.

Edit: I forgot to throw in I was working on my feet 8 hours at a time at a stupid 7-11 for years and you couldn't handle one job lifting poo poo you out of shape twat.

LethalGeek
Nov 4, 2009

Chaturbate is 50/50% between the site and model.

LethalGeek
Nov 4, 2009

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

What kind of person watches camgirls anyways? They are the most dull, unfeeling, robotic poo poo. If you're going to jerk it to porn, at least watch some passionate stuff. I really don't get it.
The same kind of person who thinks ASMR videos are a good idea, ie the lonely. Difference is camgirl watchers have money and some itch to scratch.

LethalGeek
Nov 4, 2009

KomodoWagon posted:

He will never in his life realize where he went wrong here. Lmao

You of all people really don't get to talk about other people having a poor grasp of anything.

LethalGeek
Nov 4, 2009

purple death ray posted:

Whoa hey guys I just stepped through a time portal from the year 2005 and everybody still had a stick up their rear end about furries

This implies we have suddenly stopped having reasons to judge them as a group that has sad losers who tolerate pedos and lesser hosed up things.

LethalGeek
Nov 4, 2009

My dad was plainly not caring for working from home, he would not do it anytime he had somewhere to go. Me on the other hand have been at it for 3 years and never want to return to the office the rest of my life.

LethalGeek
Nov 4, 2009

Solice Kirsk posted:

I no the problem. Totally forgot that therapy goon hasn't dated a ton and never had a ton of guy friends so wasn't aware of the crazy/hot scale. Thank goodness this scientician put together a video summing it up for the layman:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vwbKYcBdVyk

How did I miss this, this is amazing.

LethalGeek
Nov 4, 2009

Wait you all wear pants at parties? Sounds dull

LethalGeek
Nov 4, 2009

Solice Kirsk posted:

Same. I've had a bunch of them (be in a band is the best advice I can give to anyone from 17-25), and it's never as good as you think it will be. One on one has always been the best. For me at least.

I wouldn't say never, but for the most part the effort:payoff ratio is not worth it. And yes 3 guys is cheating since someone asked.

LethalGeek
Nov 4, 2009

I was going to say if you're honestly participating in anything on reddit you should expect the worse but I forget the average redditor is well an idiot.

LethalGeek
Nov 4, 2009

maskenfreiheit posted:

Reddit is what you make of it. If you curate some nice subs it can be enjoyable. The larger ones like Askreddit can be fun to read but if you get upvoted the dumbass brigade will roll out.

You can say the same about a lot of things but they're still wastelands of the dumb no matter how much filtering you do.

LethalGeek
Nov 4, 2009

loquacius posted:

I keep waffling on whether this sounds plausible or not


Your husband sounds depressed as gently caress but "make your spouse go to therapy" is not really advice that works

At least you know he wouldn't gently caress his therapist

Well, if it comes to that, divorce is also forbidden in Catholicism but luckily it doesn't have to be his decision if you don't want it to
I have bad news: your baby is retarded. Least I assume it is because you married a catholic lawyer loving LOL

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LethalGeek
Nov 4, 2009

Beanie Babies were for moms and pogs were for the kids. Dad collected comic books or playboys in the 90s.

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