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UglyCrackBaby posted:You actually saw someone drinking milk at a bar before? I once ordered a white russian and they didn't have milk so I walked down the street and came back with a gallon and half the bar subsequently ordered white russians. The manager saw it and got pissed about outside food and drink and made me throw the rest of the milk out though.
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Jul 3, 2018 17:19
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Make sure somebody films it. That way if it works out you have the video of when you professed your love to grandma to show your grandkids and if it doesn't you can put it on repeat on the TV in the room you hang yourself in. (But post it here first plz) (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Jul 21, 2018 21:06
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Naltrexone gets way less effective after using it for about 6 months. Enjoy it while it lasts I guess.
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Sep 13, 2018 02:31
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Zero VGS posted:
I was told this by an addiction medicine doctor.
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Sep 13, 2018 14:23
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Outside cat chat: My parents live in the country outside a small town and a lot of people will drive unwanted pets out there and drop them off so there is always a stray cat or dog coming around. Not long after my sister and I went to college my mom started leaving food out for the cats. A few of them stuck around and started breeding and before long there were like 20-30. My dad hates them and he and my mom have reached an uneasy truce on the subject. Every time the population of cats gets up to about 20-30 and my mom goes out of town for a trip my dad gets out his gun and shoots as many as he can until my mom gets back home. Inevitably he doesn't get them all and the few that are left start breeding again. You'd be surprised how fast 3-4 cats can turn into 30. Every time I go back home I don't know if I am going to see 3-4 super skittish cats or 30 cats sitting around a food bowl waiting to be fed. They don't speak about this to each other, my mom pretends they just left or "coyotes got them" even though she absolutely knows what is going on. It is kind of cute in a crazy country redneck way.
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Sep 26, 2018 23:22
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Hauki posted:ah yes, your father, ‘nature,’ was cruel I suppose Odd posted:how is your dad and his gun "nature" I am cat killer parents OP not the guy you are replying to. I am not going to try to defend his actions. As people have pointed out the hosed up part is feeding them then shooting them. On the other hand, he has lived out in the country in remote Texas his whole life and just has a different worldview (not saying it is a correct or good worldview). The cats are not friendly and are wild so in his eyes it is no different then shooting something like a coyote. The other option is they either starve or die a painful death by coyote/fox, or they go to the only shelter within 60 miles that also is a kill shelter. Like I said, not saying it is right but as others have pointed out people who grow up on a farm in the middle of nowhere have a different view on the killing of "wild" animals. Yeah my mom feeds them, but my dad doesn't see that as his fault because he doesn't want her to. It's a hosed up situation, I agree, but also I just don't really care that much? Edit: As for sociopath/psychopath chat. My dad was a great father and is a great person when it comes to most things, but he also grew up in a shack with dirt floors and no glass in the windows with a dad who was an alcoholic and beat/molested him constantly. Then when he turned 18 and finally got free he immediately got drafted and sent to Vietnam where a bunch of really hosed poo poo happened so yeah he absolutely has some sociopathic things about him. Again, not an excuse just giving you guys some context that there is a lot more behind his disagreeable poo poo. D-Pad fucked around with this message at 16:45 on Sep 27, 2018 |
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Sep 27, 2018 16:37
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Splicer posted:Yes, exactly. Nobody is calling out the Washington alien bunker as fake because it was enjoyable (and obviously true). Anybody got a link to the alien bunker fesh?
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Nov 30, 2018 21:55
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SE Asian goon: Cut your dad's dick off
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Dec 11, 2018 15:24
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Deer goon. Go buy a trail cam, find a secluded spot in the woods, and place said cam. Then cut your dick off and place it in view of the camera. Come back two weeks later and retrieve the camera and learn about the circle of life. Jesus Christ have you never been outside?
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Jan 17, 2019 05:39
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Depressed brother goon. I know you said he has tried everything, but has he tried Deplin? It 100% completely cured my depression and it's relatively new and not a lot of docs know about it from what I have seen. It is prescription but the FDA classifies it as a medical food because your body already makes it. My psych explained it to me like this: You eat food and your body takes chemical x in the food and turns it into chemical y. Then your brain takes chemical y and turns it into neurotransmitters. It turns out a lot of depressed people have a deficiency in turning chemical x into chemical y so they never have enough precursors for their neurotransmitters. Deplin is just straight chemical y. Basically, if the typical medications aren't helping your depression you probably have this deficiency because most depression meds work on the neurotransmitters themselves and it can't fix you if you don't have enough in the first place. Deplin is l-methylfoliate which is an active form of foliate. It's not the same as just taking foliate supplements because that's chemical x and you still won't make enough y. If he does get on it then it is important he actually take Deplin. There are some generic versions and my doc said they don't work as well. The generics aren't the exact same molecule like most generic drugs are. Deplin usually isn't covered by insurance and the pharmacy was going to charge like $200 so I tried the generic and it didn't do much for me. I found out if you get on the Deplin site they have a pharmacy partner that will only charge you $50 if your insurance won't pay. In 2 weeks of getting on Deplin my depression was COMPLETELY gone, something I didn't think was possible. Now that I have seen how well it works I would happily pay $500 a month for it. I can't recommend enough that anybody with depression try it out. There aren't any side effects really since it's a medical food and not a drug. There is a blood test that can tell you if you have the deficiency but my psych told me it isn't worth it since it's a medical food you should just try it and not have to pay for the test. D-Pad fucked around with this message at 19:20 on Feb 17, 2019 |
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Feb 17, 2019 19:17
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Have you ever tried putting vanilla creamer into milk to make vanilla milk tho? Chocolate milk can gently caress right off. I suggest the Nestle French Vanilla creamer as the best one to use.
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Feb 19, 2019 15:25
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I think the implication is the aliens altered his DNA (he wasn't the first) and then gave him super cum abilities to make sure he spread the new seed.
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Mar 9, 2019 00:23
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Cheater goon. Your teenagers get along with her because she's loving them.
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Mar 16, 2019 05:44
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Wow, how expensive were your sneakers if you are the only person in the world to have them?
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Apr 19, 2019 04:58
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Butthole fesh is really on-brand with Oglaf and if you haven't read Oglaf I strongly suggest you do. One of my favorite webcomics. All hail Sithrak!
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May 2, 2019 06:37
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purple death ray posted:Maybe doctors should have stopped their profession from being transformed into a for-profit nightmare if they are upset that the general public doesn't trust them the way they should? Like it's hard to assume they have my best interest at heart when every aspect of the experience is designed to extract as much money from me as possible, when they're colluding with insurance companies to deny me coverage, and so on and so on. Health care is a huge scam and they're making a fortune off of it, they've got no motivation to actually make things better for the rest of us. The doctors don't have nearly as much control over this as you think.
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May 8, 2019 14:56
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bob dobbs is dead posted:they got one of those non-striking unions Private Practice Doctors can join a labor union as individuals, but they are prohibited by law from bargaining collectively over their salary, benefits, or working conditions.
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May 8, 2019 19:26
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quote:By far what upsets me the most is that my wife and I see a counselor, the last time I was there I brought up these issues and provided proof, and the only thing my counselor did was look at my wife and say "what are your plans for moving out? You can leave whenever you want to" several times I think your lack of spine extends to you not being willing to give us the full context even in an anonymous confession. It would be an extremely incompetent counselor who would respond that way unless there is a ton of context we are missing. Your pre-acceptance of never seeing your kids again because your wife says so is pretty pathetic. Like you make it sound like your wife would say "we are getting a divorce and I won't let you see the kids" and you just accepting that without the numerous legal and other avenues that are open to you to at least get some visitation rights really does emphasize how much of a problem you have of being a pushover. As a dad I can't imagine accepting never seeing my kids again without a fight. Hell I'd probably come up with some elaborate Hitman scheme if it came down to it. Go see a therapist by yourself and ask for your treatment to be focused on how to stand up for yourself and get what you want. You can turn this around. I am definitely an rear end in a top hat for this but I have never been able to have any kind of sympathy for these types of spineless people. It's just so loving pathetic it makes me angry instead of having any kind of empathy. Like I understand that very often things in this person's childhood or life that were out of their control made them this way, but if the solution to your problems is "just loving do it you pussy" and instead you just rollover and show your belly and then whine and complain about your circumstances then gently caress you got mine. Doctor chat: some of you have a gross misunderstanding of doctors and their profession. To the goon who said 250k allows you to live in luxury lol. It's absolutely more than enough money for anybody in the world and certainly puts you in an envious position where you don't have to worry about the problems 95% of the population has to, but it's not going to allow you to live in luxury other than a few weeks a year when you're on vacation. Maybe we just have a different definition of luxury but to me it would be having personal assistants who anticipate and meet your every need with the best private chefs etc and 250k is more like a bigger than average house, nicer car, private school for the kids etc. Sure it's luxury compared to people below the poverty line but when the scale of wealth and luxury goes all the way up to Jeff Bezos 250k ain't poo poo. D-Pad fucked around with this message at 17:47 on May 9, 2019 |
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May 9, 2019 17:39
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The Bible posted:I bet you a million dollars this is an MRA who would hammer out a dozen paragraphs on how men are the TRULY oppressed gender in America. Edited my originally response because I am dumb. Definitely an MRA type. Hope he follows up. D-Pad fucked around with this message at 16:37 on May 10, 2019 |
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May 10, 2019 03:54
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The Bible posted:I got that from the confession, not your assessment of it. Ok now I feel dumb lol. I thought I was being accused of it because my response to confessor was an rear end in a top hat attitude. But now that I know I completely agree with you. MRAs are typically pushover types.
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May 10, 2019 16:33
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Plant dude: If you are just making this up you did a bad job. Research your details more. Plants breath co2 so roadside plants can breathe more not less: https://www.montana.edu/news/15099/msu-biologist-says-plants-growing-along-roadways-capture-carbon-help-mitigate-auto-emissions If you aren't making it up seek help. This isn't real, and it is schizophrenia. Just because you don't hear voices or see hallucinations doesn't mean you aren't schizo.
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Jun 14, 2019 06:15
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My friend got wings from Uber Eats recently and only 5 of his 8 wings were there and you could clearly see the spots of sauce where they had been sitting.
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Oct 17, 2019 02:30
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If you tell him and he also finds out you were/are loving her he is going to assume you are ruining his poo poo over jealousy and it won't go well.
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Nov 1, 2019 23:16
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poo poo goon: Drink lots of water. Like a ton, all day everday. Take Miralax every day Take magnesium supplements every day If you do all that and it doesn't work you need to get to a doctor asap because you've probably got some serious underlying issues
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Nov 5, 2019 17:18
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purple death ray posted:Yeah I was gonna say he's a bit past the "otc medication and drink some water" phase if he's been living like this his entire life I mean I don't disagree, but we are talking about a goon who thinks digging his own impacted poo poo out of his rear end is normal. I'd bet a lot of money all his liquid intake is mountain dew or some poo poo. Definitely get to a doctor, but I wouldn't be surprised at all it it's something as simple as hydration. Miralax makes your colon absorb less water and magnesium helps too. When I was young I thought it was normal to get headaches constantly and it wasn't until I was older I realized I just wasn't hydrating well enough. Constipation was an issue then too.
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Nov 5, 2019 22:15
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Go practice. At some point a switch will flip and it will seem easy from that point on and you can be a smug rear end in a top hat about all the people that suck at it.
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Nov 10, 2019 19:54
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Uh well little Timmy, it's time your dad has "the talk" with you son... We can all hold our farts in like normal rear end humans. What's wrong with you son? I'm sending you to a boys' home in west texas. You disappoint me Timmy. I dunno if everybody can hold farts for hours, but I have never heard of someone that can't hold them at all. I need more info. Do you just fart wherever you are when it comes?
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Nov 12, 2019 15:09
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Clitch posted:In nearly 20 years together, I don't think I've ever acknowledged my wife farting. I'm pretty sure she'd lock herself in the bedroom and cry, if I did. I couldn't live like that. My wife and I enjoy farting, fart jokes, really just fart culture in general and now that we have a young child it's really quite the fart palace. Probably 75% of my laughter is fart related.
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Nov 13, 2019 04:43
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A Strange Aeon posted:Please tell me more about fart culture! Unfortunately, I can only smell you about it.
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Nov 13, 2019 05:54
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loquacius posted:
People who say and do things like this are the loving worst. How do you even have 8 friends?
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Nov 22, 2019 19:39
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Bust Rodd posted:This thread fell off the front page a while ago, the bookmarked goons are the only ones keeping it from archives Let's get some updates. I need more anon goon drama in my life. Somebody gently caress someone they shouldn't.
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Mar 9, 2020 14:32
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Solice Kirsk posted:I love this loving thread. Should we get an admin to open up this relationship (forums tour)? I think this would be a great idea and would get us a lot of good stories as well as a higher population of goon castratos
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Mar 10, 2020 06:40
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Good news for crazy paranoid apartment bunker dwellers: https://apnews.com/article/coronavirus-pandemic-science-business-health-medication-eeea3c6a5f6428479e35bc1bcd7aec52 Between the vaccination and the pill you no longer have to be scared of your shadow.
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Nov 5, 2021 14:22
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Really excited to see the thread back. That's definitely something alright.
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Dec 30, 2022 15:57
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The worst thing to ever happen to you is still the worst thing to ever happen to you
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Jan 9, 2023 02:44
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Piss your dick off
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Jan 9, 2023 18:03
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Oh hell yeah so happy to see this thread back. Excellent confession to kick it off. Cut your virtual dick off op
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Apr 5, 2024 18:10
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burial posted:The spirit of the advice is "quit making decisions with your genitals" isn't it? OP should pick up a woman at a BJJ class because they can absolutely make him feel powerless without causing any permanent damage
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Apr 8, 2024 00:25
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The Bible posted:Oh wow, this thread. Glad your wound healed op
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Apr 8, 2024 01:45
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