NASCAR 2017 OFFSEASON: When is it murder?

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > NASCAR 2017 OFFSEASON: When is it murder?

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Peanut President: Nov 5, 2008; by Athanatos
(and can't post for 6 days!)

gently caress NASCAR

# ¿ Feb 2, 2017 18:22

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 21:14

Peanut President: Nov 5, 2008; by Athanatos
(and can't post for 6 days!)

Slickdrac posted:

Maybe they should go with a points system that makes passing for the top positions worth more than lower ones. Something like 5 points for each spot you move up through the top 5, 4 points for 6-10, and 3 points for any spot below that.

Maybe they (nascar) should just go loving bankrupt already because gently caress this stupid poo poo.

# ¿ Feb 3, 2017 07:37

Peanut President: Nov 5, 2008; by Athanatos
(and can't post for 6 days!)

Cygni posted:

DAYTONA BEACH, February 3, 2027 - Ten-time NASCAR Champion Jimmie Johnson has won his 4th straight Daytona 500 Pole presented by "Ow! My Balls!" for tonight's SJWs Are The Real Fascists Daytona 500. NASCAR president Mike Helton praised the new 1-day format for the full field of 22 entries across all classes, all using the new for 2017 spec-1.6 Liter 4 Cylinder Chevy Cruz racecars. Oil tycoon heir and reality programming sensation Ayden Tillerson claimed pole in the Grand National Sportsman class for gentleman drivers after qualifying was marred by six accidents in class. He will start 9th in the combined field, and has been granted three Red Bull Speed Tokens and an additional Joker Lap presented by Marvel Comics from in app fan purchases.

Eternal Emergency Chancellor Donald Trump has announced that all attendees for tonight's event will be screened and interlopers executed on sight. Included in the "temporary ban" are all latinos, blacks, gays, muslims, citizens of the Renegade City States of Los Angeles and San Francisco, settlers from the Cascadia Nation, anyone holding a Federate Macrostates of New England passport, and any "losers or haters".

"Joker Lap presented by Marvel Comics" :discourse:

# ¿ Feb 3, 2017 19:55

Peanut President: Nov 5, 2008; by Athanatos
(and can't post for 6 days!)

Too bad this car probably won't make the race because it sure is rad.

# ¿ Feb 4, 2017 08:58

Peanut President: Nov 5, 2008; by Athanatos
(and can't post for 6 days!)

Maybe I don't want casual people to watch the goddamn 500, you ever think of that? That's how we got Brian France and his marketing buddies running poo poo.

# ¿ Feb 7, 2017 03:41

Peanut President: Nov 5, 2008; by Athanatos
(and can't post for 6 days!)

VikingSkull posted:

not wanting casuals to do a thing is why the Falcons fell apart

y-yeah?

# ¿ Feb 7, 2017 08:47

Peanut President: Nov 5, 2008; by Athanatos
(and can't post for 6 days!)

I mean if you really want to sell the 500 look no further than LASTCAR
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DcaT-mS2JNM

# ¿ Feb 7, 2017 22:12

Peanut President: Nov 5, 2008; by Athanatos
(and can't post for 6 days!)

L_Harrison posted:

Won't this just make more problems? Instead of going behind the wall, teams will try and fix a totaled car on pit road and send it back out after five minutes. I mean, lol. What are they even doing?

I can't wait for a car with poo poo hanging off of it flying back onto the track because their 5 minutes was almost up and jumps in front of the entire field LePage-style.

# ¿ Feb 8, 2017 21:49

Peanut President: Nov 5, 2008; by Athanatos
(and can't post for 6 days!)

Slickdrac posted:

All the rule changes just fuel us to point out all the reversals from things that worked in the past. They'd really do well to take caution to pay attention to what made the sport big in the first place 30-40 years ago and chase after that. Especially since they're nuts to think they're going to get the same casual journeyman audience they had in the past, they need to just pit that idea to one side. They have these panels they're supposedly taking information from, if they have a bad set of folks there giving ideas, maybe that's part of the problem. Or maybe it's just completely that they have a pole up their tailpipe, either way all the changes are becoming exhausting. Obviously they need someone better qualified or they'll be sent to the end of the line for TV coverage again. And that's not a problem that's going to just blowover easily.

Make this entire post the title, thanks.

# ¿ Feb 9, 2017 23:04

Peanut President: Nov 5, 2008; by Athanatos
(and can't post for 6 days!)

FuzzySkinner posted:

I just wish they had a few more ovals to the mix.

That and a few of the "throwback' stockcars. (Kulwicki's "Underbird", The Aerowar cars, Bill Elliott's record breaker, etc).

Which is kinda what I like. I'm not going to bother watching an XFS race at Kansas for example, but one of the short tracks you mentioned, or a place like CGV, Road America, etc? Holy poo poo do those generally deliver.

That's kinda why I enjoyed watching busch back in the day. Random rear end drivers driving at places that Cup generally never went to. Fun as hell.

I mean you say that but I'd rather watch cup run those tracks instead of Kansas.

# ¿ Feb 12, 2017 07:48

Peanut President: Nov 5, 2008; by Athanatos
(and can't post for 6 days!)

New NASCAR point system: Whoever wins driver of the year wins the championship, retroactively. Say hello to 29-time champion Bill Elliott :getin:

# ¿ Feb 14, 2017 05:37

Peanut President: Nov 5, 2008; by Athanatos
(and can't post for 6 days!)

BMB5150 posted:

Thought that would be necessary.

Edwards to the 69.

# ¿ Feb 18, 2017 13:30

Peanut President: Nov 5, 2008; by Athanatos
(and can't post for 6 days!)

I'm glad we have viking and kidc to remind how lackadaisical they are for all eternity otherwise I might forget.

# ¿ Feb 19, 2017 15:49

Peanut President: Nov 5, 2008; by Athanatos
(and can't post for 6 days!)

Shepherd, also known as a herder
Bill France Jr committed murder

# ¿ Feb 21, 2017 13:02

Peanut President: Nov 5, 2008; by Athanatos
(and can't post for 6 days!)

Gallagher, Gallagher, where you at
I just wanna buy a loving hat

# ¿ Feb 21, 2017 13:05

Peanut President: Nov 5, 2008; by Athanatos
(and can't post for 6 days!)

Sorry my poetry and rhyming sucks
I'm worse than the attendance in Trucks

# ¿ Feb 21, 2017 13:11

Peanut President: Nov 5, 2008; by Athanatos
(and can't post for 6 days!)

njsykora posted:

Surely a Nascar poem should have 3 segments now?

It must be true, true it be
that nascar has hit a tree
ever since lost number three

# ¿ Feb 21, 2017 17:23

Peanut President: Nov 5, 2008; by Athanatos
(and can't post for 6 days!)

These rhymes are all real dumb
I see one more I'm numb
Why does Fox slurp Waltrips'....I can't think of anything

# ¿ Feb 21, 2017 17:32

Peanut President: Nov 5, 2008; by Athanatos
(and can't post for 6 days!)

kidcoelacanth posted:

Don't worry guys, the most important Jayski page lives on:

http://www.jayski.com/home/

quote:

Would be cool Bumper Stickers!

"Very Funny Scotty! Now beam down my clothes"
We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?
What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
He who laughs last thinks slowest.

still the best

edit: Also I never noticed this before
http://www.jayski.com/irvan.htm

# ¿ Feb 21, 2017 21:19

Peanut President: Nov 5, 2008; by Athanatos
(and can't post for 6 days!)

DEMAG posted:

Love media day.

House Gallagher of Las Vegas
"We do not sell"

# ¿ Feb 22, 2017 22:16

Peanut President: Nov 5, 2008; by Athanatos
(and can't post for 6 days!)

So that explains why Indycar has through the helmet ratings.

# ¿ Feb 23, 2017 14:05

Peanut President: Nov 5, 2008; by Athanatos
(and can't post for 6 days!)

dentist toy box posted:

Lmao Atlanta has 38 cars entered.

Yeah but did you see the 6.5 rating the 500 got? HAPPY TIMES ARE HERE AGAIN

# ¿ Feb 27, 2017 19:55

Peanut President: Nov 5, 2008; by Athanatos
(and can't post for 6 days!)

Volkerball posted:

At the end of each stage, park all the cars diagonally down the length of a turn, and when the siren goes off, all the racers have to run up the banking, jump in their cars, start them, and take off. Fastest ones out are the leaders.

Yeah bring back Le Mans starts!

# ¿ Mar 1, 2017 20:18

Peanut President: Nov 5, 2008; by Athanatos
(and can't post for 6 days!)

VikingSkull posted:

It's why so many people bitch about Kansas, Texas or Las Vegas and rarely poo poo on Charlotte and Atlanta directly. The typical NASCAR fan will bitch about 1.5's but would also howl in anger if you bulldozed those two because of "mah traditions"

They are also conveniently the perfect size for 150,000 seat grandstands

I'm from Atlanta and I would gladly bulldoze that shitpile after Smith kneecapped it and made it into a loving Charlotte clone. Also the reason 1.5 mile tri-ovals got popular is because it's shaped like a ball diamond only it's pointed at the finish line instead of home plate meaning people sitting on the front stretch don't have to crane their necks to see the race.

# ¿ Mar 8, 2017 19:41

Peanut President: Nov 5, 2008; by Athanatos
(and can't post for 6 days!)

You have to remember that 20 years ago running a car at daytona or your local track was a 50-60k investment. Now 5 figures doesn't even get you to first practice.

# ¿ Mar 10, 2017 18:20

Peanut President: Nov 5, 2008; by Athanatos
(and can't post for 6 days!)

best car is actually

# ¿ Mar 12, 2017 21:09

Peanut President: Nov 5, 2008; by Athanatos
(and can't post for 6 days!)

When are they gonna finally park the menace that is Joey Logano?

# ¿ Mar 13, 2017 00:31

Peanut President: Nov 5, 2008; by Athanatos
(and can't post for 6 days!)

VikingSkull posted:

probably more sane than people who spend literal years making posts about how terrible something is

Nascar is for fuckers.

# ¿ Mar 20, 2017 05:44

Peanut President: Nov 5, 2008; by Athanatos
(and can't post for 6 days!)

It has been proven over and over that taller spoilers inhibit passing, why do they keep doing it?

# ¿ Mar 23, 2017 18:07

Peanut President: Nov 5, 2008; by Athanatos
(and can't post for 6 days!)

daslog posted:

It's been proven over and over that NASCAR is out of ideas. Why do we keep watching?

I mean I don't. I just follow this thread and shitpost.

# ¿ Mar 25, 2017 09:42

Peanut President: Nov 5, 2008; by Athanatos
(and can't post for 6 days!)

exploded mummy posted:

http://joegibbsracing.com/

Finally a good april fools day joke.

# ¿ Apr 1, 2017 17:05

Peanut President: Nov 5, 2008; by Athanatos
(and can't post for 6 days!)

iospace posted:

https://twitter.com/NASCAR/status/849408810804543488

Finally found a replacement for the Truck Series.

# ¿ Apr 5, 2017 13:10

Peanut President: Nov 5, 2008; by Athanatos
(and can't post for 6 days!)

iospace posted:

Also, also. Seeing as you guys now have a mod who regularly reads the thread, thread title changes are now a thing. So if you want a new one, just let me know.

"So much worse than you've been led to believe!"

# ¿ Apr 6, 2017 18:51

Peanut President: Nov 5, 2008; by Athanatos
(and can't post for 6 days!)

Nascar 2017: gently caress THE HANDICAPPED

# ¿ Apr 6, 2017 21:06

Peanut President: Nov 5, 2008; by Athanatos
(and can't post for 6 days!)

Considering almost every nascar driver except Dale Jr fails the "has an average 13 year old heard of him" test I'd say she needs to chill with that poo poo.

# ¿ Apr 18, 2017 06:37

Peanut President: Nov 5, 2008; by Athanatos
(and can't post for 6 days!)

You might as well just put the number on the window to give even more room for sponsors like the Aussies and BTCC do.

# ¿ Apr 21, 2017 06:51

Peanut President: Nov 5, 2008; by Athanatos
(and can't post for 6 days!)

Bruton Smith is both the reason for all the lovely cookie cutter tracks and he's the guy who repaved Bristol and ruined it. He's also the one who killed Wilkesboro.

# ¿ Apr 22, 2017 15:21

Peanut President: Nov 5, 2008; by Athanatos
(and can't post for 6 days!)

FuzzySkinner posted:

Currently arguing with a Kyle Busch fan on twitter.

He's claiming he hates Jr. because
-He hated his father
-He hated the fact he got a ride with DEI (implying some sort of nepotism that I think is easily disproven via past interviews and how Sr. was kinda distant to Jr.)
-He hated the fact that Kyle got booted out of a Hendrick ride for him.

Which is funny because he's literally bitching about a (at worst) lateral move. At best? Dude's a number 1 driver for one of the best teams and Toyota's de facto number 1 driver.

Also, Can you guys help me prove the similarities between Kyle and Dale Sr.? He's claiming that Kyle never "wrecked" a car out of a race and that seems patently false.

gently caress you.

# ¿ Apr 26, 2017 03:57

Peanut President: Nov 5, 2008; by Athanatos
(and can't post for 6 days!)

CBJSprague24 posted:

FOX got the rights to NHRA starting last year and took most of the ESPN on-air crew with them.

IIRC the story was both ESPN and NHRA realized that ESPN hates car racing and agreed to end the contract.

# ¿ Apr 30, 2017 00:27

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 21:14

Peanut President: Nov 5, 2008; by Athanatos
(and can't post for 6 days!)

FuzzySkinner posted:

Anyone else watch the GRC race from Memphis?

...

What a fun rear end track. drat. Why did NASCAR bail on it?

It sucked and went bankrupt.

# ¿ May 1, 2017 03:44

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > NASCAR 2017 OFFSEASON: When is it murder?

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