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Rangpur
Dec 31, 2008

This seems appropriate.



So far the game is... eh, I'm happy to take your word for it about the map design and the dragon lines seem like a neat mechanic, but the plot is underwhelming and even the dialogue lacks the snap of the previous game. I know people aren't big on Awakening's story either, but it was sure as hell a step up from, well, this.

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Rangpur
Dec 31, 2008

Feh. Isn't even wearing a pot on her head. She's no Donnel, that's for sure.

Rangpur
Dec 31, 2008

Spatula City posted:

I would appreciate it if Zola DIDN'T betray Corrin, but the game writing is clearly not good enough for that to be the case. Of course the creepy enemy dude is going to inevitably betray them. but, ugh, it's so obnoxiously telegraphed. Not to mention, if he wasn't going to betray Corinn, he'd be a unit in battle by now. Game mechanics give it away as much as anything. bad writers, bad bad writers.
There's much to recommend previous Fire Emblem games but subtlety in character design is not one of them. Has there ever been a primary antagonist that didn't have 'I AM EVIL' flashing in neon above their head? Anyway, I kind of regret the loss of the head rubbing minigame if only because I find the mental image of Corrin just standing there dragging his palm over someone's face really funny.

Sir? Sir, what are you doing? Please stop that, it's really weirding me out.

Shhh, shhh. We're bonding.

Rangpur
Dec 31, 2008

So if you have a female Corrin, can you shack up with Kaden and produce a horrifying fox-dragon crossbreed? Because honestly that's always my first instinct whenever I have the option to pair off characters in a game like this.

Rangpur
Dec 31, 2008

But can you make an atrocity in the eyes of Man & God if you marry him?! This is important dammit!

Artist's rendition of Kaden and (F)Corrin's spawn:



(I drew him with a bow because he(?) would obviously be the strongest class, an archer.)

Rangpur
Dec 31, 2008

Mrs. Corrin's Mom's great weakness was her love of slash fiction.

Rangpur
Dec 31, 2008

It doesn't make up for everything else Fates does wrong, but not gonna lie: that is a perfect PSKill for Owain and it delights me they included it.

Rangpur
Dec 31, 2008

CptWedgie posted:

Finding it a little weird that a child character's on the "keep" list, all considered. I mean, the excuse for their presence is ridiculously awkward (in fact it may or may not be the most awkward thing in the game), and this forum doesn't seem very forgiving of that.
"The forum" has roughly the same coherence as Twitch Plays Pokemon, and if we were going to keep any of the kids Midori is one of the more entertaining. Besides, it's not like we're going to stop busting on the Deeprealms for being dumb.

Have I mentioned the DeepRealms are dumb. because they dumb

Rangpur
Dec 31, 2008

^^^^^^^^


Say what you want about the archetype, but Elise has a real good face for reacting to a lot of these plot developments/supports.

Rangpur
Dec 31, 2008

The chapter title card was right, 'surprise' is a completely accurate description of my reaction.

Rangpur
Dec 31, 2008

My understanding is that Conquest is the story of a young woman who sides with her gigantic rear end in a top hat of a father despite all the stupid, spiteful bullshit he does. Therefore Cordelia is the most appropriate name possible.

Rangpur
Dec 31, 2008

Welp.

You know, I don't think of Fire Emblem stories as being standouts the way people talk about FFT or Ogre Battle, but by and large they work. This... doesn't. It keeps reaching for unearned pathos and falling on its face, to say nothing of the weirdly lifeless dialogue.

If I had to pick my least favorite part, it would go to the Rainbow Sage and his 'the true power was within you all along' bullshit. (That apparently also applies to Garon of all people--did he look within and go "wow, I never realized I can be waaaay more evil than I already am, thanks Rainbow Sage"?)

Though I'll concede the last few maps seemed pretty good. Using the Dragon Veins against you is a good way of raising the stakes.

Rangpur fucked around with this message at 21:20 on Apr 18, 2017

Rangpur
Dec 31, 2008

Siding with Nohr--really, this entire scene--would have worked a lot better if they had bothered to build any ambiguity into the story. Maybe all of Hoshido's evidence is circumstantial; maybe you overhear Yukimura saying he cared more about Corrin's power than reuniting the family; maybe Garon introduced Corrin to his older siblings as the child of a mistress instead of demanding they pretend he's their flesh and blood instead of a kidnapping victim. Hell, maybe Corrin is just a loving hostage raised by the enemy kingdom--a thing with plenty of historical precedent--who ends up siding with the only family they've ever known.

Instead they ignore all those possibilities, and many more besides for:
Corrin, my long lost sibling, kidnapped in your infancy by the enemy! Thank goodness we have a family portrait, a record of your birth, a handprint you left in wet mortar when you were a baby, and a signed confession by Garon's cradle-robbing henchman to prove what we say is true!
No, this can't be true! Nohr-fam, did you know this all along?
Yeahhhh sorry about that. We were gonna tell you but Camilla got real attached, and you know...
Seems legit. Let's go ask dad if I can have a fern in the bleak fortress I've lived my entire life.

Rangpur fucked around with this message at 20:55 on Apr 20, 2017

Rangpur
Dec 31, 2008

Things that would make Conquest marginally less dumb, number 394:

"I'm surprised Nohrian nobles went out of their way to save us, what with your decades of unceasing aggression, and my willingness to let Elise suffer and die."

"Yeah tbh most of that's coming from King Garon and a couple of huge assholes working directly underneath him. You were a dick, but none of my adopted siblings or I want to see Hoshido wiped off the map."

"Are you seriously claiming everything horrible that's happened over the past 15 years can be laid at the feel of Garon and, like, six other dudes?"

"Five, now. But yes. ...Say, you wanna know where Hans is gonna be making camp next week?"

I know trying to rework a story and make it less dumb with the benefit of hindsight is one of THE stereotypical nerd time-wasters, but good God everything about this game's writing is just so sloppy and half-assed it feels like amateur rewrites actually stand a chance of improving it.

Rangpur
Dec 31, 2008

In the sense that it will have a lot less Hoshidans within it, yes. Technically murderously correct, the best kind of correct.

Rangpur
Dec 31, 2008

Tae posted:

Little princess... The sad truth is that justice is an illusion. A child's fairy tale. There is no light path that always leads to good, nor dark path that leads to evil. To believe that—to see the world in black and white—is missing half the picture.
I'm all for skilled localization but I've been staring at this line for 2 minutes and wondering if there's any team in the world that could have salvaged this plot. Mid-90s Working Designs, maybe, but there's a 50/50 chance they'd do it by rewriting the entire story to revolve around Garon's uncontrollable flatuence or something.

I suppose if you're way into Fire Emblem's gameplay the maps are all that matter, but this plot reached the point where it would've actively impeded my enjoyment a while ago and it's done nothing to improve my opinion since.

Rangpur
Dec 31, 2008

Endorph posted:

mid 90s working design sucked my poo poo
Don't be a hater, what's a few Harry Potter references and fart jokes between friends. :v:

It does sorta beg the question, though: is there a way of interpreting this dialogue that would make the plot hold up better? Seriously asking this time.

Rangpur
Dec 31, 2008

"We've waited long enough."

Truer words were never spoken.

Rangpur
Dec 31, 2008

At this point you ought to just throw together the most ridiculous-looking Corrin(e) the character-creator will let you generate. Whatever the other merits of the game, there's no dignity to the story worth preserving.

Rangpur
Dec 31, 2008

Birthright Corrin(e)'s main problem is that he or she is trapped in the most generic 'us good, them bad' scenario possible. The fact that they're permitted to kill the enemy because Hoshido is the righteous kingdom is an interesting but almost certainly unintended theme, and it's the only wrinkle in the story.

Rangpur
Dec 31, 2008

This reads like badly wedged in DLC developed a year after the game shipped. Except that it was apparently planned as the canonical truth-behind-the-scenes from the very beginning. Which makes the whole thing doubly baffling. Somehow the writing manages to keep lurching in surprising directions without ever elevating the plot at all.

What really sticks out to me is that they introduced this whole invisible, unreachable kingdom which is nonetheless completely unrelated to your invisible unreachable castle, and the invisible, unreachable pocket dimensions where everyone raises their kids. The level of disconnect is downright surreal.

Rangpur
Dec 31, 2008

You're right about the 'defies logic' bit. Anything more than that bespeaks a faith in the writers they've done nothing to deserve. I'd be happy to be proven wrong, but I'm not optimistic.

Rangpur
Dec 31, 2008

Endorph posted:

It actually wasn't. The original drafts Kobayashi sent in didn't have anything at all about valla or mycastle or water demons. That's part of why Azura has like two separate backstories, one that kinda makes sense and one that doesn't have anything to do with anything.
That's... oddly reassuring, in a way. Fates is one of those games where the story of how it got so tangled up sounds more interesting than the actual plot at this point.

Rangpur
Dec 31, 2008

Why not play on non-perma death mode? I mean, I know why people don't do that, I just think that's a poor decision when you're dealing with a tedious bullshit gimmick like this map.

Rangpur
Dec 31, 2008

Leo

Leo don't ride your heavily armored warhorse across hardwood flooring you rear end, who taught you your manners?

Rangpur
Dec 31, 2008

Tae posted:

Vote's over. Camilla and Takumi are the fill-ins.

......
game redeemed imo

Rangpur
Dec 31, 2008

I missed that part

Rangpur
Dec 31, 2008

chiasaur11 posted:

He spends too much time running from real fights.
:golfclap:

On the other hand he does have a major sweet tooth...

Rangpur
Dec 31, 2008

...why did Yukimura threaten to blow up Hinoka's bedroom?

Rangpur
Dec 31, 2008

Huh. Peri made an unexpectedly appropriate choice of mother for this guy.

Rangpur
Dec 31, 2008

What does 'stripped' even mean in this context? You don't really get armor in Fire Emblem games. Does she just steal whatever they don't have equipped at the moment?

Rangpur
Dec 31, 2008

It does, yes. I'm further bemused they left that in but not the face-poking minigame.

Rangpur
Dec 31, 2008

Kay Kessler posted:

There's only one person worthy enough to be the queen of Hoshido, and that's Mozu.
This. The entirety of both countries' royal lineage are either incompetent or some flavor of crazy. Need to get some fresh blood in there. Mozu, less problems.

Rangpur
Dec 31, 2008

Once again, feckless goon voting results in and oddly appropriate choice of mothers. ...Is what I would say if Shiro's 'confusion about his bloodline' had to do with his readiness to govern instead of confusion over which country his dad actually runs.

This is a very silly game.

Rangpur
Dec 31, 2008

Well now it makes sense why everyone was so keen to make Nyx the mother!

Also love that Hayato knew his daughter was getting into dark magic (in a world where dark magic is a real thing that exists, with observable and typically disastrous consequences) and just went "Eh, this'll probably work itself out." Then left Rhajat to her own devices for the next 5 or 6 years. The way Fates presents the Deeprealm makes the entire 1st generation less likeable by turning them all into comically terrible parents.

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Rangpur
Dec 31, 2008

TOP 10 ANIME BETRAYALS

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