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Cartoon
Jun 20, 2008

poop
Bag report!

Local Coles had every checkout staffed. "To help best satisfy customers". Lucky for Coles management retail O/T rates were also slashed today! Win! Win!

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Cartoon
Jun 20, 2008

poop

Zenithe posted:

Coles are on an EBA, so they're unaffected. Unaffected in that they still get poo poo penalty rates and have done for years.
:ssh: I knew that but I was being pithy.

Cartoon
Jun 20, 2008

poop
BORDER FARCE FAIL TO STOP BOAT ARRIVALS!

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-07-02/prawns-carrying-white-spot-discovered-in-queensland-supermarkets/9914610

And obviously it was in QLD!

Cartoon
Jun 20, 2008

poop
A shameful byproduct of cat hat's slut shaming is the response by sky news in

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-07-02/david-leyonhjelm-refuses-to-apologise-sarah-hanson-young/9931386

quote:

The organisation suspended a producer, pending an internal investigation, but Senator Leyonhjelm said he did not agree with that decision.

That 'producer' was a junior female ap. The presenters who were sniggering as cat hat hosed up appallingly? NADDA. Well if you don't count their belated and self serving apology.

Cartoon
Jun 20, 2008

poop

Don Dongington posted:

It appears JBP has fallen down a well

*the sound of 47 pairs of Goony cargo pants unvelcroing*
For those more focused on the comedy of this latest self head butt:

http://www.abc.net.au/radionational/programs/breakfast/i-dont-discriminate-between-men-and-women-says-leyonhjelm/9938006

"It wasn't sexist abuse, it was just abuse." - That should help in the defamation case. What lawyer would be dumb enough to take on this brief? Or perhaps he would like to defend himself so he can personally "cross examine" SHY.

-/-

Should the subs go East or West? Why not both? For a serious long range strategic decision our highly respected generals and admirals sure don't seem to have a good grip on the situation.

https://www.defenceconnect.com.au/maritime-antisub/2528-subs-ahoy-foi-reveals-sydney-as-future-submarine-base

"Two ocean policy"

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Royal_Australian_Navy_Submarine_Service

The reason the base was isolated in the first place is due to operational shortfalls. The size of the capital investment to enable a true "Two ocean policy" is so enormous I haven't even seen a credible estimate.

Cartoon
Jun 20, 2008

poop
Why not insert more self serving structural deficits into the budget? Why not indeed.

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-07-05/new-gst-system-to-deliver-tasmania-an-extra-112m/9942860

What's 9 Billion a year? Where's your GST god now gently caress stains?

Cartoon
Jun 20, 2008

poop

Doctor Spaceman posted:

Sure, there Tom Switzer who is only a former IPA guy and Jackie's Owner who has his own think-tank.
Don't forget Amanda Vanstone!

Cartoon
Jun 20, 2008

poop

avshalemon posted:

ariel has been notably silent on the topic of the herb
Which is somewhat surprising as he has had nothing but weeds up his arse for some time now.

Cartoon
Jun 20, 2008

poop

norp posted:

It's the same as the Greyhound industry but with more money and bigger animals.
The queen lends acceptability to what is otherwise naked horse torture porn. A further reason to abolish the monarchy.

Cartoon
Jun 20, 2008

poop
"I was bitterly disappointed they didn't kill each other."

https://www.macrobusiness.com.au/2018/07/richo-vs-latham-stink/

Cartoon
Jun 20, 2008

poop

Anidav posted:

Campbell Newman literally brought back syphilis lmao
Misery loves company.

Cartoon
Jun 20, 2008

poop

Anidav posted:

I mean I understand bell-jar's point but at the same time not respecting authority is a case of playing stupid games and winning stupid prizes. Like you're not going to win anything good by not standing and its just a customary gesture to acknowledge you are in a house of judgement and in the presence of the eyes and ears of the law.
I have to laugh at the whole situation because the 'victim' is doing it deliberately for publicity and perceived martyrdom. The courts ignoring it would actually have been the smart play. Why are so few sovereign citizens Muslim women? These are the important questions, under admiralty law.

Cartoon
Jun 20, 2008

poop

trunkh posted:

Australia will fight to the last breath to protect our vital Blackmores supplies.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xhewd9fLBGU

Cartoon
Jun 20, 2008

poop

Don Dongington posted:

Lol if you think in 2018 that NSW isn't the cancer.
NSW bringing the cancer since 1788.

Cartoon
Jun 20, 2008

poop

bigis posted:

Breast is best
:perfect:

Cartoon
Jun 20, 2008

poop
Wages growth not a myth! We were just not looking in the right places! Stupid lefties!

https://www.businessinsider.com.au/10-highest-paid-asx200-ceo-in-2017-2018-7 posted:

The 10 highest paid ASX200 CEOs in 2017 CHRIS PASH JUL 17, 2018

Don Meij, the long-serving CEO of Domino’s Pizza Enterprises, is the highest paid chief executive of an ASX200 company, earning $36,837,702 in the 2017 financial year. His pay was almost eight times his statutory pay, and well above his 2016 realised pay of $21.03 million. Meij’s high pay was due to the rapid increase in Domino’s share price above the exercise price of options granted as an equity incentive. Domino’s Pizza was also last year hit by a scandal over wage underpayment, prompting a wage audit across its stores and franchisees.

In second place as the highest paid are Peter and Steven Lowy, the joint CEOs of Westfield, with $25,906,960. Australian Council of Superannuation Investors’ (ACSI) 17th annual survey of chief executive remuneration in ASX200 companies shows that chief executive pay is on the rise, with average realised pay reaching the highest level in four years. This uplift correlates with strong equity market performance which pushed bonuses higher. Median realised pay for an ASX100 CEO rose 12.4% to $4.36 million. Most ASX100 CEOs received a bonus at a significant proportion of their maximum entitlement.

ASX100 CEOs are more likely to lose their job than their bonus. In 2017, 74 of the 80 CEOs eligible for a bonus received one, and the median outcome was 70.5% of maximum. There were 10 Top 100 CEOs who left their roles in 2017. The Australian Council of Superannuation Investors has 38 members, Australian and international asset owners and institutional investors. Collectively, they manage $2.2 trillion in assets and own on average 10% of every ASX200 company.

Cartoon
Jun 20, 2008

poop
I can't even feign shock anymore:

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-07-18/cashless-welfare-audit-finds-monitoring-severely-lacking/10005214

It wouldn't be so bad but most of the lessons that are needed to be learnt here were already learnt back in the 18 hundreds by missionaries. More second verse same as the first: The evaluation was inadequately funded. Why fund something that is already well known? https://www.orima.com.au/home/ are just the people for a fast agile and inexpensive reiteration of what they were briefed to find.

Why are problems that have been 'analysed' for centuries so difficult to address? Oh it's for browns. Silly me. Why don't they just white up or loving just die off already? loving inconsiderate bastards.

At least the UNHCR haven't caught on to that one, yet:

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2018/jul/08/un-body-condemns-australia-for-illegal-detention-of-asylum-seekers-and-refugees

Cartoon
Jun 20, 2008

poop

bell jar posted:

imo the worst thing about lauren southern is that she's hot
Oh my....

Cartoon
Jun 20, 2008

poop

bell jar posted:

on reflection i can see this post interpreted as an endorsement of her views. what i meant was all her views are made worse somehow by the fact that she's hot
Not actually my problem with your 'hot take'. Here let me spell it out for you: The objectification of women is bad. Wanting to stick your dick in someone is no reflection on them, their views or anything else really. Thanks for sharing I guess :shrug:

Cartoon
Jun 20, 2008

poop
Has NTATA been back to the indigenous community he was sworn to personally support since he got relevance deprivation? That's a question that needs an answer.

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2015-08-26/indigenous-leader-urges-tony-abbott-address-disadvantage/6725014

Not in three years it would seem. :monocle: What it was all being faked for the cameras? I'm shocked. Shocked I am.

The Peccadillo posted:

I only date ethnic chicks, though
Translated: I only date underage Asian sex workers because of the tiny nature of my penis, inability to attract women in general and lack of sexual technique.

Cartoon
Jun 20, 2008

poop

Anidav posted:

ABC has an article up saying how Tradesmen need to stop handshake contracts where no written contract for a job exists and they just assume they will get paid for the job via a handshake and what happens is the client just disappears and pays the tradies nothing and they can't do anything about it because no contract actually exists.

How dumb are Australians?
Verbal contracts are legally binding :shrug:

Cartoon
Jun 20, 2008

poop
Unfortunately not the only children in detention in Australia nobody seems to give a poo poo about :

http://www.abc.net.au/radionational/programs/breakfast/government-failing-reform-system,-two-years-after-don-dale/10037786

tl;dr

Had a Royal Commission to heavily orchestrated hand wringing and pearl clutching, then did nothing good. In fact made it worse. :bravo: loving :bravo:

Cartoon
Jun 20, 2008

poop
Is Emma Husar getting fair treatment in the press and in parliament?

http://theconversation.com/emma-husar-allegations-show-a-need-for-clearer-rules-about-what-mps-can-and-cannot-do-100580

Her alleged indiscretions would seem trivial compared to notably Barnaby Joyce and Trevor Ruthenberg (https://www.afr.com/news/malcolm-turnbull-stands-by-longman-candidate-after-medal-mistake-20180716-h12rpm). Bullying of staff is never OK but maybe they should start with NTATA's office while in government if there is an actual commitment to eradicating the culture. It seems that LNP officials and representatives have to actually be in jail before there is any thought of sanctioning them by the LNP.

Cartoon
Jun 20, 2008

poop
Anyone asked Keith Windschuttle to peer review this?

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-07-27/map-of-indigenous-massacres-grows-to-include-more-sites/10040206

loving ABC bias.

Cartoon
Jun 20, 2008

poop
Like locking them in a cell together is going to help.

Cartoon
Jun 20, 2008

poop

You Am I posted:



This image makes me feel so good this morning
Forgot to switch accounts Dane Cook?

JBP posted:

I'm on holiday right now but I understand Bill Shorten has achieved a "stunning victory". Who did he fight?
A particularly wet paper bag wearing a tin can topper.
I'm the big fat poo poo totally not assaulting the dissident.

In continuing schadenfreude:

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-07-29/drought-hit-farmers-urged-to-apply-for-assistance-payment/10047686

quote:

Many struggling families have raised concerns about the significant paperwork required to apply for the payment.

The Scott family in Yeoval, in drought-affected New South Wales, described months spent dealing with bureaucratic red tape. They are still yet to be approved for the payment.

Last time they put a separate line in Centerlink just for the farmers...

Cartoon
Jun 20, 2008

poop

Beetphyxious posted:

That was a bit of a downer.
Your humour? can't be, Beet.

Cartoon
Jun 20, 2008

poop

The Peccadillo posted:

I'm the blue hemisphere, and also a retatrded person
Not picking on you specifically. Can AusPol stop using 'retarded' as a perjorative? At the very least it is inaccurate. LNP = Morally bankrupt. This is not the same as intellectually handicapped. It is a much worse malaise. These people have the ability to know better yet choose to gently caress over their fellow citizens. I think we have already established; Piece of poo poo, bozo, buffoon, clown, arsehole and many others that are non gender specific, differently abled offencive and LGBTI friendly. It's not really much to ask.

Cartoon
Jun 20, 2008

poop
I suddenly feel very sporty. In a specifically coat hanger then kick in the balls while down way. Maybe a casual headbut while whistling 'Hey Mr DJ'.

Anidav posted:

I want to rebrand into a good poster
->Cartoondav.<-

Simultaneously guarantees immediate quality perception while removing one of the main problems with your current brand. You don't even have to stop watching Kiss X Sis. I mean it's still a cartoon isn't it? making GBS threads in a hole in your yard may even be a step up for you.

Which leads me to the big hole in the beet rebrand the greens plan. Unless the new brand has an immediate impact or usurps someone else's credibility it HAS to be a step back.

Meanwhile I think a bunch of posters here should be rebranded on a continuous basis until they die from 3rd degree burns.

-/-

Know what a 'gin jockey' is? Better find out before engaging in debate with the indigenous community:

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-07-23/trevor-noah-facing-backlash-after-comments-on-aboriginal-women/10025424

And obviously an apology is out of the question..

Cartoon
Jun 20, 2008

poop

Beetphyxious posted:

Anything by Keith Windschuttle

Birdstrike got me onto them a while back.
If you have read 'Fabrication' can you do a compare contrast with: http://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-07-27/map-of-indigenous-massacres-grows-to-include-more-sites/10040206

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Cartoon
Jun 20, 2008

poop

avshalemon posted:

ariel would have departed from my soul with a great conflagration as if of white phosphorus, killing me instantly
No! You only get the white phosphorus treatment if you are Palestinian you big silly.

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