Law Megathread: the stunner off the top rope that everyone but the defense saw coming

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Business, Finance, and Careers > Law Megathread: the stunner off the top rope that everyone but the defense saw coming

Adar: Jul 27, 2001

quote:

Adar � Not even a lawyer really. Thread hero who freed himself of the shackles of a JD to play poker professionally and live on islands. No, you won�t be able to do the same thing.

Just wanted to follow that up with a quick �don�t go to law school�

# ¿ Aug 8, 2018 00:04

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# ¿ May 16, 2024 11:16

Adar: Jul 27, 2001

Alexeythegreat posted:

It's actually fascinating how despite the prominence of US business, it's English law that reigns supreme worldwide.

Unrelated: I quit my litigation job two weeks ago for a phantom chance at a PhD in Europe (PhD is normally a mistake in Europe almost to the same extent as in the US, but "leaving Russia" is a goal that quashes such minute considerations). A week after my announcement on LinkedIn, the biggest Russian firm shoots me up for a position in their international arbitration practice

great now what

take it and then get a transfer to anywhere in the world you actually want to live in

# ¿ Aug 14, 2018 13:51

Adar: Jul 27, 2001

a plausible shortcut here involves going to the US / other relevant country to get an LLM and then using the LLM to get in with them instead. LLMs are 1-2 years depending on the country/program.

this heavily violates the 'do not go to law school' ethos of this thread, but it's the only reason Western LLMs exist, so there's that

# ¿ Aug 14, 2018 22:28

Adar: Jul 27, 2001

SlyFrog posted:

I don't think so, at least I hope not. I'm not actually debating anything. My point has nothing to do with which side is "right," which policies are right, etc. Simply pointing out why rural Americans, poor Americans, etc. might seem to be voting against their interests.

I agree this is a lot of it. The problem is that both the Hillbilly Elegy take and the burn them all down take can be true. Those people "don't really care" about minorities either way and just want their old jobs back, but when push comes to shove they'd really rather those minorities hosed off back where they came from and are happy the orange man on TV says what everyone really thinks about it.

See, e.g., every Trump voter quote from the past 24 months.

# ¿ Aug 16, 2018 16:31

Adar: Jul 27, 2001

america good

humans bad

# ¿ Aug 16, 2018 20:07

Adar: Jul 27, 2001

mastershakeman posted:

There's no way that jews waste their money on such an worthless product

As a proud Jewish Knicks and Jets fan, I

gently caress

# ¿ Aug 16, 2018 21:50

Adar: Jul 27, 2001

blarzgh posted:

Do you think in 25 years that they'll be doing gritty Paw Patrol movie remakes?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wacky_Raceland

# ¿ Aug 18, 2018 23:59

Adar: Jul 27, 2001

The timeline isn't really adding up. Are schools even done with OCI yet? Callbacks definitely don't finish up for a month or more.

Unless his grades are genuinely awful, he should be busy mass mailing every single firm and maybe even multiple offices of the same firms. It's low percentage individually, but people do get callbacks from those if you send out enough of them.

# ¿ Aug 20, 2018 14:45

Adar: Jul 27, 2001

Tipps posted:

Just another day in weirdlaw.

An employee in one of our offices is convinced that there are ghosts in the office, and is very afraid of them. He has begun telling his coworkers about his paranormal experiences, resulting in two camps forming.

A large chunk of his colleagues are now super annoyed with him because he is too preoccupied with ghosts to do his job and is causing disruption.

A larger chunk of his colleagues are now equally afraid of the ghosts and are too scared to go into certain parts of the building, drastically impacting workplace productivity.

I have been asked for legal advice re: how/whether to discipline the disruptor, and what to do about the ghost-fearing employees.

This is actually not the first time I've heard stories about there being ghosts in this particular building.

this is your once in a lifetime chance to get paid to draft a motion compelling the ghosts to appear

# ¿ Aug 21, 2018 02:53

Adar: Jul 27, 2001

Look Sir Droids posted:

Yep, right back to jail from whence he came.

I have to say the mistrial portion of this is a double win for the prosecution. Somebody on NPR said prosecutors won�t bother retrying him since they likely have him for life under the sentencing guidelines. But having a possible retrial hanging over Manafort is the perfect hedge on a pardon, right? If Trump pardons him for the convictions, welp back to those 10 other counts.

Can't Trump pardon him preemptively on the mistrial counts as well?

Not that that would stop the immediately incoming state counts, just saying.

# ¿ Aug 22, 2018 04:28

Adar: Jul 27, 2001

joat mon posted:

Pictures are just data. Process what you need and leave the rest.
Cross examining child victims of sex crimes isn't fun.
Having client B tell you that several years previously he set up client A on a child sex case (and who got 25 years) and not being able to do anything about it isn't fun.

This is the point where I�d throw away my license and report.

# ¿ Aug 24, 2018 15:57

Adar: Jul 27, 2001

Vox Nihili posted:

Lowtax dies in 2021. Somethingawful LLC is sold to pay for his cremation. The buyer? Our own Adar, who hires a couple goons to slap some upgrades on and tricks Bezos into purchasing the site for $5.5 million as some sort of curiosity.

this, but unironically

# ¿ Aug 29, 2018 00:27

Adar: Jul 27, 2001

Look Sir Droids posted:

Congrats and also I�m sorry.

Re: In-house. My first in-house shot was a nonprofit. I was top two. Perfect fit. Experience with all the job duties, although not with the core mission (which doesn�t matters and no lawyer would have). The GC I interviewed with used to work at my firm. The nonprofit used my firm for some of their legal work. Came back for a one hour interview that ended up lasting over two hours.

Didn�t get it. I know who got it and he had less experience and a flighty resume. I was at such a low point at my firm then that it sunk me in a huge depression for about 6 months. My wife was like suicide watch on me which I resented at the time bc I wasn�t going to do that but I appreciate now that she did that.

My second in house interview was 18 months later. It was a group interview with a VP and all the senior lawyers. It lasted 25 minutes. My experience was eh for the job duties. I had studied the company but it didn�t really come up. I walked out like lol welp maybe next time. They called my references the next day and I got it.

In-house doesn�t make any sense.

The first one hired the other guy because he knew a cousin or someone owed him a favor.

E: once in a while it�s because he and the managing partner love the same sportsball team

Adar fucked around with this message at 17:13 on Aug 29, 2018

# ¿ Aug 29, 2018 17:09

Adar: Jul 27, 2001

Valentin posted:

hi law thread. if I've accepted an offer from my 2L summer job, is my only remaining goal to take the easiest classes possible and coast through 3L? or is it actually worthwhile to take black-letter law classes?

While this hopefully won't come up, the classes of 2002-03 and 08-10 got absolutely reamed by firms revoking offers and firing first years. In the normal years no one cares what your 3L grades are ever again, but if you're in the middle of the pack you should still care about them a little just for recession insurance.

# ¿ Aug 30, 2018 23:00

Adar: Jul 27, 2001

38 and on my fourth career jfc

at least I haven't been posting on the same comedy forums for almost all of my adult life

# ¿ Aug 31, 2018 19:53

Adar: Jul 27, 2001

ActusRhesus posted:

Wait... there�s comedy here?

the zaurg thread alone is worth the :10bux:

, or it would be if I was young enough to register when the forums were paid

# ¿ Aug 31, 2018 21:55

Adar: Jul 27, 2001

GamingHyena posted:

How's this for arbitrary?

In Texas, murder is a first degree felony. First degree felonies have a range of punishment of 5 years to life in prison and a fine not to exceed $10,000.00. Other first degree felonies include:

-possessing, obtaining, transferring, or suing 50 or more pieces of someone else's identifying information.
-possessing 200 grams of THC, including any adulterants and diluents. So if you have a little over 7 ounces of anything that contains THC (edit: with the exception of marijuana) it's a first degree felony.
-Causing a serious bodily injury to a disabled person, senior citizen or child.

Also, if you have two or more prior prison trips then your range of punishment on any third degree felony or higher is 25 years to life in prison. So if you possess (not sell, just possess) 1.01 grams of meth and have been prison twice you're looking at 25-life. Because the range of punishment is so huge if the DA/judge/jury doesn't like someone you can easily have a situation where a guy convicted for murder receives a much lighter sentence than someone on a nonviolent drug charge.

I just looked up third degree felonies. How many drunken bar fight + 2 possession charges people do you have in for 25 year minimums?

# ¿ Sep 4, 2018 14:14

Adar: Jul 27, 2001

Phil Moscowitz posted:

I like money

I like money and my family, plus I'm nice to people IRL

# ¿ Sep 6, 2018 01:24

Adar: Jul 27, 2001

My mother and both of her parents used to be lawyers in the USSR. Not Alexey's version where cops randomly plant drugs to meet an arrest quota, but the one where the KGB would torture people into confessions to meet a death quota.

Believe it or not, even that system was partly functional (unless you were a prosecutor; those people probably all drank themselves to death but gently caress 'em) as even glorious communism still had any number of drunk shoplifters, drunk wife beaters, drunk low level embezzlers...you get the idea. Somebody had to go out there and do the paperwork and somebody else had to make sure the occasional first / less drunk offender didn't die in a gulag.

You do the best you can within the system you live in. Being a hero is universally terrible for the hero and doesn't change anything unless that person is also charismatic and stubborn enough to be a martyr. Or run for Congress as a socialist I guess.

Personally, I like money and my family and am nice to people IRL.

e: for anyone who likes going down Wikipedia rabbit holes, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thief_in_law

Adar fucked around with this message at 14:48 on Sep 6, 2018

# ¿ Sep 6, 2018 14:45

Adar: Jul 27, 2001

ActusRhesus posted:

Well. Done for the day.

Counsel didn�t realize she couldn�t just tell the court what was said at trial and would have to actually introduce the transcripts themselves. Which she didn�t have. I�d feel bad for the petitioner having such a moron as counsel. But he murdered a five year old. So.... no mercy.

does he really deserve the US penal system though?????!?

# ¿ Sep 6, 2018 18:31

Adar: Jul 27, 2001

as long as the state can prove (not "beyond a reasonable doubt", flat out prove, complete with unimpeachable video and also the guy doing a tap dance on the victims' grave{s}) the crimes, sure, why not, not like a Dahmer or a Bin Laden really need to be on the planet any longer than necessary

this excludes the death penalty as practiced on the vast majority of the planet, though

# ¿ Sep 6, 2018 20:54

Adar: Jul 27, 2001

Unamuno posted:

Oops, I guess I assumed the plaintiff was a public figure and that negligence would be unimportant. Turns out that he may not be a public figure and therefore i am the dumb one. Serves me right for cultivating enough self-confidence to be smug.

Is there a lot of caselaw on what qualifies someone as a public figure?

I would have assumed he isn�t and also have been smug for the completely opposite reason, but I really have no idea.

# ¿ Sep 18, 2018 17:16

Adar: Jul 27, 2001

Roger_Mudd posted:

I got approached by a well known attorney yesterday in Court with a job offer.

It's more money, more trial time, and the dude is really loving good.

That said, how bad will it look on my resume if I've left two jobs in a row after 6 months.

Your resume only matters to the employer after this one and only if you apply for that job. You�re apparently good enough in court to get random unsolicited job offers. In all likelihood, unless this offer is a trap and you�re going to work for Al Pacino, you will never worry about this again.

# ¿ Sep 18, 2018 17:19

Adar: Jul 27, 2001

Look Sir Droids posted:

If these extra allegations have any shred of credibility, I�d be surprised if they don�t yank him before the hearing. They can find someone else to overturn Roe that hasn�t maybe sexually assaulted someone.

that would require admitting a problem which the orange manchild is physically incapable of

# ¿ Sep 24, 2018 03:58

Adar: Jul 27, 2001

Nice piece of fish posted:

Any realistic chance of packing the court?

In the early 2020's, with a leftist candidate winning...it's possible. They'd have to be a radically different party but it only took the GOP six years to get from lawful evil to chaotic evil; the Dems could see a reactionary push to the hard left in a similar timeframe. "We won errything and only these illegitimate motherfuckers are around to stop us, time to push the Court to fifteen justices and gently caress the GOP forever" is something I could see happening and unlike during Roosevelt's time there's no looming existential threat to force the two parties to cooperate.

Of course that's how you get a civil war and they have all the guns sooooooooooooo

# ¿ Sep 24, 2018 17:19

Adar: Jul 27, 2001

I'm going full accelerationist here but having this guy confirmed and vomit out 5-4s is the best way to get the Court packed in three years

it's not like his identical except slightly less rapey December replacement will be any better

# ¿ Sep 27, 2018 22:07

Adar: Jul 27, 2001

Vox Nihili posted:

FLAKED

truly the hero 2018 deserves

# ¿ Sep 28, 2018 20:15

Adar: Jul 27, 2001

Look Sir Droids posted:

If you�re on the liberal side of a political issue before the court, what�s to lose from making a media circus over moving for Kav to recuse and then when the decision comes down 5-4, air out that opening statement again? The principled, not political veneer of the court is going to be gone.

The House is going to try to impeach Kavanaugh just before impeaching Trump next year and both will be annual affairs a la Obamacare repeals for the foreseeable future

# ¿ Oct 4, 2018 18:58

Adar: Jul 27, 2001

uberkeyzer posted:

I mean the natural pick for this thread is Max Gladstone�s Three Parts Dead, which is all about fantasy doc review in a world where bigfirm law partners are undead liches . I guess it�s technically fantasy not SF though.

There are currently 6 of these and a CYOA game that's currently being LP'd: https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3863995. They're pretty good.

# ¿ Oct 5, 2018 01:30

Adar: Jul 27, 2001

San Juan is more or less recovered from Maria, but not from the additional resulting poverty and crime rate. 90% of the city is some version of hosed with foreclosures and abandoned properties left and right:

https://www.touroldsanjuan.com/safety-map/

The other 10% is all on the waterfront and happens to be where the mainland expats who don't speak Spanish more or less have to live. It's also the area with the good high rise condos with security and backup generators as well as the only English-speaking schools in town. It's still technically a buyer's market, but rent for a $500-700k condo starts at $5K a month and up. Meanwhile, the 0% cap gains/4% income tax incentives are getting wide press and the number of people that got grants is up 50% this year. A massive gentrification bubble is about to hit in 3...2...1...

Other PR facts: there is no MBE or reciprocity. You get admitted to the local bar only by taking it. All the exam questions are in Spanish although you can write all the essays in English. The fed courts have their own completely separate English bar exam that has to be taken at different times. There is also a separate "notary bar" that allows local PR-bar admitted lawyers, and only such lawyers, to be notaries. Among other things, a notary is required to put a fancy stamp on every RE transaction. This stamp costs 1% of the value of the property for the first $500K + 0.5% of anything over $500K. This fee is set by law and cannot be negotiated any lower. Nearly everyone in the legislature is a lawyer and totally uninterested in changing any of this.

# ¿ Oct 9, 2018 03:30

Adar: Jul 27, 2001

Discendo Vox posted:

Try visiting the east coast.

Yeah I know

The rest of the island is in more trouble than a snarky internet post can cover.

# ¿ Oct 10, 2018 14:33

Adar: Jul 27, 2001

Look Sir Droids posted:

I think we would have been better off if we stayed with England. Change my mind.

The UK is currently busy shedding unnecessary jobs, economic growth and all remaining spare parts of itself because a bunch of idiots called a vote to score political points knowing that the vote would lose, then stampeded to campaign for the losing side. When that side accidentally won, the majority of the idiots decided to roll with it and continue to campaign on who can sabotage the economy harder. The opposition party would be extremely well placed to capitalize on this, but their leader thinks the outcome was a good idea and is doing everything possible to prevent a re-vote that would put him in power from happening.

At the moment, 48% (but it's actually ~53-55% by now) of the country is represented by a party with ~5% of popular support whose even bigger idiot leader now has a job at Facebook apologizing for Facebook's taking lots of money from Russian trolls to make sure to push the vote in the first place.

# ¿ Oct 21, 2018 16:55

Adar: Jul 27, 2001

feedmegin posted:

You're missing the SNP, Plaid and the Greens, and I'm not quite sure how you think a second referendum vote would put Corbyn in power even if Remain won this time (which is by no means a foregone conclusion, because there are still a billion old people who will vote Tory/Leave no matter what).

the SNP is implicitly covered by the "shedding the remaining spare parts of itself" line :scotland:

any second referendum at this point comes with a bonus general election, unless you can think of a way that May could agree to one without instantly calling the other

# ¿ Oct 22, 2018 15:17

Adar: Jul 27, 2001

feedmegin posted:

Well, yes, but you've got the order wrong. A general election followed by Labour holding a second referendum, sure. I don't see why Labour somehow forcing a second referendum before that would cause a general election. You'd still have to get Tories to vote for that specifically to happen and they're all terrified of ~~our upcoming glorious socialist revolution~~ Labour winning.

you think the Tories could survive a motion of no confidence in the aftermath of a second referendum where Brexit loses, or even just after calling it in the first place?

I guess that's theoretically a thing that could happen but that'd also be a universe where Boris Johnson thinks he'd get more out of supporting May than he would out of being The One True Brexiteer All Along*

# ¿ Oct 22, 2018 16:33

Adar: Jul 27, 2001

feedmegin posted:

Which Tory MPs do you think will vote for it? The Brexiteer ultra right wing swivel eyed loonies are not particularly inclined to put into place Prime Minister Corbyn. What's in it for them? Leadership challenge and change of PM, sure, but that doesn't mean a new general election.

"why would the DUP stay" is a better question, IMO

# ¿ Oct 22, 2018 19:31

Adar: Jul 27, 2001

Phil Moscowitz posted:

Considering they’ve mastered faster than light travel, energy generation capable of destroying planets, and plasma containment fields to make swords, their cannon/blaster/missile targeting systems are pretty garbage.

Luke uses the Force to pretend to be on a different planet and makes his Force hologram draw fire from an entire assault division, then duels Kylo Ren without anyone realizing it was a fake for a solid half hour or more

Everyone on both sides in the entire galaxy: *has intelligence agencies and spies and sends people out to get information in person, because reasons*

# ¿ Oct 23, 2018 01:31

Adar: Jul 27, 2001

Toona the Cat posted:

I've seen more mediocre movies about a shared pair of pants than I have Star Wars, Star Trek, Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, and The Hobbit combined.

I don't believe that you really saw that movie either, tbh

# ¿ Oct 23, 2018 21:18

Adar: Jul 27, 2001

evilweasel posted:

that's nice, i'm in a course to become a certified nfl quarterback

mastershakeman posted:

I know you think it's a good idea to play for the bills but it really isn't worth it no matter how much they pay you

new thread title, then move this thread to SAS

# ¿ Nov 1, 2018 20:22

Adar: Jul 27, 2001

Whitlam posted:

Relevant Australian conduct rules and ethical code, for those who are curious.

Here's another interesting hypothetical. When you're making your disclosures to be admitted, they now want you, in addition to disclosing criminal and academic history, to disclose mental health information. So if you've ever been diagnosed with anxiety or depression, for example, they want you to disclose.

Unlike the other matters, my understanding is they can't actually punish you for not disclosing, they just really really like you to. Would you disclose?

I'm going to tell my client that they really, really want him to disclose but he is not obligated to, and then, at the end of the conversation, strike up a talk about how I just ordered some hair loss pills from a reputable online pharmacy that is based outside of Australian jurisdiction

# ¿ Dec 4, 2018 23:13

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# ¿ May 16, 2024 11:16

Adar: Jul 27, 2001

Phil Moscowitz posted:

http://www.lasc.org/opinions/2018/18-1233.B.OPN.pdf

quote:

Of the more than 2,600 comments respondent
posted, between one hundred and two hundred � less than one percent � related to
matters being prosecuted in the USAO.

uhh

Mr. Nice! posted:

From running your own practice to being an E4 in the military.

The army prob paid off all his student loans, though.

I don't think the army pays off a several hundred thou government judgment though

# ¿ Dec 7, 2018 16:36

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Business, Finance, and Careers > Law Megathread: the stunner off the top rope that everyone but the defense saw coming