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God my life is a toilet and it's all thanks to this thread
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Aug 7, 2018 22:30
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I made less than that my first year
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Aug 18, 2018 14:30
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Mr. Nice! posted:
Check with me in two years. You can definitely make 100k after 5 years as a solo.
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Aug 18, 2018 15:45
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I had a friend switch from a small office to a big family firm. "How do you like firm life?" "Two associates quit and I billed 300 hours last month." "Oof." "You know if you want to hop over there's a place for you."
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Aug 29, 2018 22:37
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Mr. Nice! posted:Same 32.
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Aug 31, 2018 19:21
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I send a settlement offer to one of the big firms in town that says "We want to get dad a stairstep visitation schedule so he can get used to this kid, Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday 6-8." They send back a bitchier letter that says "We want to see the kid more and Mom won't let us, we propose Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday 6-8." I send back "Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday, 6-8. If this is acceptable, please sign and return to me." They cross through "If this is acceptable, please sign and return to me." and then sign it.
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Sep 5, 2018 15:43
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This job is loving awful. The judges are awful, the clients are awful and the attorneys are awful. They all go out of their way to make things so loving hard.
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Sep 12, 2018 20:22
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We had a judge flash a gun at her own loving bailiff
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Sep 14, 2018 13:47
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Nice piece of fish posted:See this is what we need more of. Bugfuck crazy US legal shenanigans. Did you know that you guys practice something called a "deposition". It's the weirdest thing, it's where you don't allow a judge to watch a witness lie in real time but instead have lawyers there to badger the hell out of witnesses and then write down that witness's fuckups. It's amazing. Jury selection owns. I acted as a voir dire consultant this year and I'm pretty sure I'm the reason why the guy won his custody case. "No single mothers. No one who knows how a divorce case works. We want deadbeat dads and people without kids."
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Sep 14, 2018 15:22
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Roger_Mudd posted:I got approached by a well known attorney yesterday in Court with a job offer. Depends on if you can eat his firm when he dies. I got off my rear end and refinanced my student loans.
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Sep 18, 2018 17:10
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mastershakeman posted:Obviously you haven't seen Kiryu Kazama fight He kills no men except in paradise
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Oct 20, 2018 20:42
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blarzgh posted:I'm defending dick jokes over in GBS, WHO ELSE IS BORED You have to understand that the reason I love drag so much is that drag has THE BEST dick jokes. NO ONE makes dick jokes like drag queens.
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Oct 28, 2018 18:11
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I finally saw a lawyer today that made me say "Holy poo poo. That guy's loving awesome." He bills $1,000 an hour in family court.
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Oct 29, 2018 21:54
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El_Elegante posted:How well does he dress? Fantastically.
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Oct 29, 2018 22:03
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CaptainScraps posted:Fantastically. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qtt4u3WnTCY
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Oct 29, 2018 22:30
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What percentage of referral business do you get to keep as incentive?
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Oct 31, 2018 00:11
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Mr. Nice! posted:If I refer anyone to the PI firm we refer to I get 100% of the referral fee. Get a percentage of the Crim too. Also if you're ballsy, do family law. Dv cases are good money but absolutely soul crushing.
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Oct 31, 2018 00:38
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Mr. Nice! posted:She asked if I wanted to do family law in house for them. I told her not particularly, but I would if I need to. My hardest cases are dv. I'd recommend learning to do both or really specializing in dui law.
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Oct 31, 2018 02:03
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Toona the Cat posted:I’m in course to become a certified mediator and this seems vastly better than actually practicing law. Hope rises again. Why would I hire you when you've got no experience in evaluating a case?
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Nov 1, 2018 19:49
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Seriously, mediation is the hardest thing I do. Litigating is easy. Mediating is brutal.
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Nov 1, 2018 19:56
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Toona the Cat posted:Free to me is why I’m here. The instructor was one of my professors in a mediation class I took. Basically she said it would enable me to do the mandatory custody and divorce mediation, and some low level federal stuff like SEC disputes. She has a mediation firm and is willing to throw me a few bones. Ugh. If you need help with family law pm me. Half of it is knowing where agreements break down and how to prevent future fuckups. Seriously I'm so god-damned picky about which mediator for which party.
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Nov 1, 2018 23:25
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Mediation is the loving worst god-damned thing. I hate it and this poo poo is miserable.
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Nov 7, 2018 00:16
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Roger_Mudd posted:Here in Dallas County, a Judge excluded expert witness testimony which killed a Plaintiff's case. Same thing happened in one of the district courts. He granted an msj, plaintiffs funded a Challenger, Challenger was the right demographic and won.
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Nov 12, 2018 19:15
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evilweasel posted:first-chairing depositions is so much better and i never realized how much better, until i told the midlevel second-chairing the deposition "i've only been on this case for a week and don't actually know anything about the guy, so i need the outline you're writing to be so detailed that anyone could take it and do this deposition" First chairing is so much better. The other thing is I like having taken enough testimony to know when someone's lying or being squirrely with me or setting up traps for them. God, it's so good. Seriously, no one takes as much testimony as goddamn family lawyers do.
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Nov 16, 2018 17:53
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His arms look like they're made out of dick skin Also God I keep my practice open just for pi cases and when comes in I'm so happy.
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Dec 1, 2018 16:34
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I just got text messages from a witness. It's opposing party threatening to put witness's grandson in inpatient treatment if she testifies. I'm so excited.
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Dec 7, 2018 17:06
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I'm gonna use em as evidence. I don't care what the cops do.
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Dec 7, 2018 19:58
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I got hosed today. Judge didn't think witness intimidation was relevant.
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Dec 12, 2018 05:34
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ActusRhesus posted:Depends on the facts. What happened? Arguing mom weaponizes her children and creates unhealthy relationship. THEN I found out the judge I was in front of is facing contempt for doing the exact same thing.
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Dec 12, 2018 16:49
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I stream bad RPGs with my dog while my wife dunks on me.
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Jan 4, 2019 23:34
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Mr. Nice! posted:And just quit my job. Had a hearing this morning where I had to attempt to rip into a crying witness on the stand to discredit her testimony. I’m not about this life. I feel like poo poo. I’m still available to get paid hourly as they need for appearances and such, and my boss is willing to help me find a better job for me. Respect, homie. It's brutal. When I'm off the clock, I really try my hardest not to be serious. I gotta be serious all loving day. Can't survive otherwise.
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Jan 8, 2019 19:33
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Phil Moscowitz posted:gently caress insurance companies, they objectively suck. Boo hoo someone shaving off the top of my profits. But fraud is a lovely way to go about wealth redistribution, and the plaintiff lawyers and quacks getting rich off of that fraud is just as immoral. In Texas, worker's comp insurance companies will call every injury a sprain or a strain so they don't have to pay for surgery and make every plaintiff go through contested cases. They also get whore doctors to write reports based off medical records without ever having seen or examining the patients. I'm talking "They call getting an arm dismembered a sprain and say you should only be off work 6 weeks." gently caress them.
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Feb 13, 2019 18:47
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Mr. Nice! posted:General counsel office for worker's comp. Oh no No no no no no
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Feb 15, 2019 18:50
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One of you better LP this game.
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Feb 15, 2019 21:15
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Roger_Mudd posted:Good advice. The problem is he bills flat fee for cases so there are no "billable hours." He makes 5-7k per case and has about 300 active cases. I'd tell you to do a contract where you essentially trade equity for years of service with a guaranteed base salary and a increasing revocable percentage of ownership every year, with you receiving the greater part of net proceeds or your salary, depending on which is which and a buyout provision if you're there more than 3 years but less than 7. You can totally negotiate this to where you're not screwed. You're a lawyer goddammit!
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Feb 19, 2019 22:34
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Spent six hours trying a divorce where mom claimed dad was In a Nigerian sex cult that raped women and she had been physically abused every week for thirteen years. Despite 652 incidences of alleged violence, no pictures, records, witnesses or police reports.
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Feb 21, 2019 14:27
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blarzgh posted:Scraps, is that you? Yeah, I got a new name. Same name but Captainscraps was a younger, angrier man.
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Feb 21, 2019 17:15
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JIZZ DENOUEMENT posted:Thanks friends. Eh. My wife and dog and friends are amazing. My clients legitimately love me. My job is loving brutal. Nope. Yes. I'd go work for a big corporation.
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Mar 2, 2019 15:28
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Roger_Mudd posted:Job update: The guy promised a lot of sweet stuff and offered me a position. I typed up what we had discussed in a "this letter confirms..." letter. Dude got super weird and rescinded the offer. He's a handshake guy. They're squirrelly.
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Mar 4, 2019 22:54
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| # ¿ May 16, 2024 16:41 |
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Start making Let's Plays and become a social media influencer.
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Mar 5, 2019 03:37
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