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Waffles Inc. posted:It’s down now, someone mind spoiling it? Picture the most obvious fanservice things that could happen at the end of the movie, and then picture them all happening in span of like one minute.
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Apr 16, 2019 20:33
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Mel Mudkiper posted:criticizing the movie for being big and fan-servicey seems like something of an empty criticism seeing as its basically the MCU victory lap It also looks like poo poo.
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Apr 17, 2019 00:00
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Ahahah it's so bad!
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Apr 23, 2019 21:04
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A few things I’m lollin’ at: -They literally only bring the dead people back and do nothing else, so 4 billion people wake up in an apocalyptic hellworld. -Stark also squanders his dragonball wish and just makes Thanos disappear (from an alternate universe???) instead of actually fixing anything. Like, if I’m following all this correctly, they pull a straight-up Donner Cut and kill a guy who they’ve never met before and has no idea who they are. So, like, hooray for the alternate universe but this doesn’t help MCU Prime at all. -Steve Rogers travels to an alternate universe and steals his own identity so he can gently caress a clone of Peggy. This raises major consent issues and is literally the ‘heartwarming’ ending of the movie. Lol
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Apr 24, 2019 01:52
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Again, if I’m following this right: Steve A travels to an alternate timeline and prevents Steve B from being unfrozen, then marries Peggy B while the real Steve B is trapped in the ice forever. MCU redeemed if so!
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Apr 24, 2019 02:11
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teagone posted:Yeah, I don't think the Russo's really gave a poo poo about how their time travel component worked in Endgame at all. They were gunning for the easiest ways to manipulate audience emotions to get the biggest impact, regardless of whatever consequences or paradoxes happen as a result. There aren’t really any paradoxes per se. It’s just incredibly dumb. Here’s the entire plot of the 3-hour film: Thanos is tracked down and killed in the first 10 minutes. They build a Sliders machine and pillage five new stones from an alternate universe. Stark and Black Widow died during the pillage, but all the dust people are back now. Literally nothing else happens in the main timeline.
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Apr 24, 2019 03:11
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Subverted expectations: The heroes can’t save the world, but you can be drat sure they don’t avenge it either. Maybe the real avengers endgame was the friends we remade along the way.
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Apr 24, 2019 05:11
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SCheeseman posted:Also, it was half of all life, animals like birds were shown as being affected. The ramifications of that would be really interesting to explore. Dude they had over six hours. The time to explore the ramifications was well over a year ago.
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Apr 24, 2019 07:29
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The ramification of killing half of all life is that Thano killed half of all food sources in an effort to solve hunger and it’s absolutely moronic. And also what happens when all the old plants reappear after five years of regrowth? SuperMechagodzilla fucked around with this message at 07:47 on Apr 24, 2019 |
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Apr 24, 2019 07:41
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SCheeseman posted:They've been mining the New York invasion ever since the first Avengers, it's a major factor in a bunch of MCU movies and TV shows even if it sometimes only serves as a 9/11 analog. Of course they'll acknowledge and explore it, it's MCU's gimmick. Imagine watching a 200-hour version of Blade Runner and they might, maybe, explore the ramifications of ‘people being robots’ in a newspaper headline, in the background of one scene of the Tom Hiddleston Loki spinoff tv show.
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Apr 24, 2019 07:50
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SCheeseman posted:What's conceptually wrong with a Blade Runner TV show? !
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Apr 24, 2019 08:08
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SCheeseman posted:Stretching the movie out to 12 seasons wouldn't be a good idea, but Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep and the aesthetics of the film would make for a great jumping off point for heaps of stories. Dog I’m talking about a version where the robots are revealed in an easter egg in an unrelated TV show about Norse mythology. It would be astonishingly poor storytelling, which is what you’re putting up with for lord knows what reason.
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Apr 24, 2019 08:16
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Can someone please confirm that this Historical Cinematic Landmark Event really has a totally random scene where the CG raccoon travels to another dimension and attacks Natalie Portman’s body double to steal her blood, which can only possibly make sense if you’ve seen & remember Thor 2 The Dark World?
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Apr 24, 2019 08:32
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Lord have mercy.
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Apr 24, 2019 08:37
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Caros posted:I think it is definitely worth seeing and enjoying ... Lmao
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Apr 24, 2019 16:50
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Caros posted:Oh no, I have mild critiques about a film I enjoyed!? The joke is that you consider two hours of the characters doing laundry with no action scenes “a mild critique.”
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Apr 24, 2019 16:57
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It’s absolutely wild that the good guys have the powers of God and TWO time machines, and they use them solely to: -Prevent civilian casualties. -Nuke an alien slave army. This is certainly the most Avengers movie ever made.
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Apr 24, 2019 17:28
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RBA Starblade posted:It's better than using them to make civilian casualties Here’s an idea: snap yr fingers and cure Thanos’ mental illness, which is now confirmed to be his sole motivation. Hell, you can end disease on a universal scale. And unfuck the massive eco-catastrophe while you’re at it.
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Apr 24, 2019 17:50
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RBA Starblade posted:How are they supposed to venge anyone if they're doing things like "show mercy" and "do the obvious thing with five seconds of thought" They don’t venge anyone!
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Apr 24, 2019 17:54
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They bring all the #fallen back so that they don’t have to #avenge them. The closest they come to avenging anything is when they make a clone of Thanos and then flog it like an effigy before he’s even done anything. Their vengeance is preemptive! I’m actually mildly upset that they finally created an interesting Cinematic Universe, and it’s the alternate one where Thor 2 ends with a raccoon attack and Avengers 1 is briefly interrupted by a blundering Steve Rogers doppelgänger. Why couldn’t we have that?
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Apr 24, 2019 18:30
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Caros posted:Yeah, what kind of rear end in a top hat doesn't want to be directly responsible for the non-existence of their five daughter. Again, he had the power of God and two time machines. Why can’t he fix the Earth and keep the daughter?
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Apr 24, 2019 20:13
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Intelligent Moral Quandry: “Tony Stark you gotta either lick a skunk on its rear end in a top hat or ingest three pounds of dirt for no reason.” Why doesn’t he just do neither of those th- “I CHOOSE THE SKUNK, THANOS!!!”
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Apr 24, 2019 21:41
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garycoleisgod posted:But if this is the case then how does OldManCap show up to pass on his shield? Surely going back and living his life with Peggy creates a new branch as you say, so how is he able to still show up in the "main" timeline then? That actually “makes sense”. Steve A goes to MCU B and marries Peggy B. They live together for 70 years, then Steve B gets defrosted - so Steve A steals the unbroken shield and runs back to MCU A.
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Apr 24, 2019 22:19
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Alternately, Steve A‘s gone MIA in the B timeline and guy at the end is actually Steve B.
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Apr 24, 2019 22:31
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Darko posted:Bill and Ted has no errors. I’d wager that most time-travel films make sense, with the exception of, like, Back To The Future.
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Apr 24, 2019 22:43
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Lord_Magmar posted:I liked the movie well enough and the incredible "Hot Takes" in this forum from people who have not seen it yet are real dumb. [...] The ultimate implication, really, is that no mortal being could possibly hope to wield and use all 5 stones no matter the containment method, so they can't fix everything perfectly and never could. People are pointing out that it's absolutely contrived - and not in the way that all movies are contrived. Characters just randomly declare that things have to happen, and they do without any logic behind it. So when you think about it for 25 seconds it's like "wait, Steve Rogers basically rapes a clone of Peg Carter at the end of the film. He's not the man she fell in love with, because that guy is still alive and just missing in action." And I'm sure the music's telling you this is a good thing, and the characters are acting like it's a good thing - but it's not a good thing. It's an awful thing. In the part you've spoilered above: the choice between 'absolute perfection' and 'doing nothing except deleting the baddies in an alternate dimension' is a totally false binary choice. You're telling me Thor can give up the use of his left arm to end slavery, but that's just too much of a sacrifice and slavery has to stay? Keep in mind that fuckin boring-rear end humans on Earth gave Bucky an unbreakable replacement arm without any problems. Age Of Ultron and Iron Man 3 both established incredible regeneration technology, Thor himself already has a bionic eye, and so-on. The glove itself can be used to fix people's arms! I mean, why not? Each of the 'Vengers can die to make a wish and then use the last wish to bring them all back from the dead. That obviously works, because they bring back roughly 3,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 lifeforms - on Earth alone - near the end of this film. It's absolutely horseshit that Stark dies at the end. And it's even more horseshit that "this is the only way it could happen." SuperMechagodzilla fucked around with this message at 15:59 on Apr 25, 2019 |
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Apr 25, 2019 15:54
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NotJustANumber99 posted:Why didn't superman just give the spear to wonder woman to stab doomsday? Because he's stronger than she is.
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Apr 25, 2019 16:08
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Bedshaped posted:but they never established that with a headbutting scene Right: in the film, Superman doesn't even know who this strong woman is. How would he know her power levels, level of invulnerabilty, etc.? He flies full-force into Doomsday and the spear barely goes in. SuperMechagodzilla fucked around with this message at 16:19 on Apr 25, 2019 |
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Apr 25, 2019 16:17
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Vitamin P posted:Literally don't think about the plot it doesn't make sense the setting doesn't make sense none of it makes sense. It's not (just) the plot though; it's the narrative. In the movie Signs, everything is contrived so that, when the family survives at the end, they realize it's a miracle and obviously God was watching over them. You can certainly poke a lot of holes in that belief but, then, the resulting conclusion is that it was all just dumb luck and the God story is what they tell themselves to make sense of this meaningless universe - a recurring theme in Shyamalan's films. The narrative of people regaining their faith still works, and even gets much more nuanced. With this film, like, is Doctor Strange lying when he says this is the only possible outcome? Because he says he tried 14 million possibilities, and he knows only one can work. But then, in this possibility, he holds up his finger and says this is the successful version. That means there are now two possibilities that worked: one where he holds up his finger and one where he doesn't. Or, in his previous attempt, they almost beat Thanos but he didn't hold up his finger and Stark consequently chickened out at the last second. What this means is actually that Strange just isn't very imaginative. It's not that there are no better timelines - it's that he's spent like 80 million years abusing save-states to force this one lovely outcome, and then called it good enough. So Benedict Cumberbatch caused everyone to become stupid, because smart behaviour doesn't gel with his preferred outcome. And, like, why would anyone do that? And why would you make a film where this happens?
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Apr 25, 2019 16:51
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As Nero Danced posted:It was the first one that worked and he was tired of looking, so a better solution was never explored. Right, and it means the movie literally ends because Benedict Cumberbatch got bored! That's the endgame! 64 hours, plus multiple TV shows! He's just like "uhhh whatever." 
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Apr 25, 2019 17:08
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DC Murderverse posted:I think it’s help slightly by having “you can’t change the past, just visit and bring stuff back” as the rule for time travel Nope! The quantum machine can't change "the natural laws", but the green gem can. That's what the whole Dr. Strange movie was about. SuperMechagodzilla fucked around with this message at 18:29 on Apr 25, 2019 |
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Apr 25, 2019 18:26
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Necrothatcher posted:It's probably best not to sweat the logic of a movie about infinitely powerful wishing stones combined with time travel. Why not? It's super funny - and it's not like it's difficult to do. teagone posted:I think it's fine to critique the logic of characterization though. And the time travel stuff is the characterization. Like, as mastershakeman points out, there's a very good chance that Dr. Strange lied in order to murder Stark. That seems like a pretty important bit of characterization.
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Apr 25, 2019 18:35
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Necrothatcher posted:A hugely powerful character introduced one film ago using the gauntlet to save the day without much consequence is terrible characterisation though. That's not bad characterization. That's not characterization at all. (And isn't Danvers' "thing" being totally no-nonsense, getting to the point regardless of whether it's polite, not putting up with macho hero poo poo?) DC Murderverse posted:yeah but how powerful is that stone in Strange's movie? I honestly don't remember. Well, in the previous Avengers film, it let him create a time loop that goes on for roughly 80 million years. 14 million resets. SuperMechagodzilla fucked around with this message at 18:57 on Apr 25, 2019 |
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Apr 25, 2019 18:54
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DC Murderverse posted:does he actually *live* all of those or does he just *see* them? I was under the impression that he just was able to view them Presumably the former; in his own movie he creates a time loop that's theoretically infinite.
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Apr 25, 2019 19:03
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Necrothatcher posted:Fantasy fiction tends to involve supernatural/magical elements that actively resist logical analysis. No they don’t. Fantasy fiction just depicts fantasies, and fantasies are very easy to analyze. For example, Endgame concludes with the fantasy that Steve Rogers can return and be with Peggy again. The truth is of course that it’s not Peggy. It’s a clone. So this means is that Steve Rogers views Peggy as an object, interchangeable with thousands of others, and not a person. Easy!
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Apr 25, 2019 20:00
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Necrothatcher posted:Cinemasins has a lot to answer for. Cinema sins is all like “hurf blurf, I cant make sense of it! I don’t understand what’s going on?!”, whereas I’m just giving an accurate summary of what happens in the film.
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Apr 25, 2019 20:23
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*Peggy’s upside-down in the fishbowl* “Aw, don’t worry Steve; we can buy you a new Peggy.”
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Apr 25, 2019 20:28
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GeekyManatee posted:Going out on a limb here and saying it's almost as though the MCU characterization has been mind-numbingly lazy the entire time and that anything worthwhile that's drawn from its contents comes from fans. The thought process was obviously that Captain America promises to take Peggy dancing at the end of Captain America 1 - so it would be a nice reference, for the fans, if he finally got to do it! The problem is that the dance he was talking about was very, very obviously (like, unambiguously blatantly) a metaphor for the afterlife. So if we do shut off our brains and embrace the fantasy logic, then what happens is - after finally beating Thanos - Steve Rogers shoots himself in the loving head.
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Apr 26, 2019 04:00
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Milkfred E. Moore posted:do you think endgame 2 is going to grapple with the existential horror of there being 14 million other universes where thano won? Those might not count because it’s a different sort of time travel, but the good guys still totally create and doom a half-dozen universes full of people in order to resurrect Spiderman.
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Apr 26, 2019 04:41
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teagone posted:It could also take place in the other branch of reality that also doesn't have a Thanos in it anymore. Nah; then you’d have a legit time paradox because Spider-Man’s so influenced by the events of the Avengers movies. It can only work if it’s a prequel or they seriously jump through hoops to cover up the apocalypse that took place between films.
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Apr 26, 2019 04:49
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