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Jim tricks Dwight into worshipping the materialistic Demiurge and his false promises of salvation instead of breaking the cycle of reincarnation by becoming one with the Godhead via gnosis. He then mugs to the camera.
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Jun 7, 2019 22:08
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| # ¿ May 15, 2024 00:34 |
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Jim skips town and commits suicide in a grimy motel using a varmint rifle stolen from the Schrute beet farm, but not before covering himself with Dwight's pilfered semen. Jim having left a trail of false evidence implicating Dwight, Dwight is arrested for Jim's rape and murder. 5 years later, Dwight is strapped to the execution gurney. He notices a familiar figure among the witnesses, only recognizing that telltale smirk through all the facial hair and plastic surgery after his heart has stopped beating.
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Mar 27, 2021 17:29
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Jim replaces Dwight’s strawberry-rhubarb-beet smoothie with ayahuasca. Dwight has just started taking adderall to deal with the hostile work environment created by Jim. Dwight has a hypertensive crisis and dies painfully and publicly as the beta-carbolines interact with the speed. Jim mugs to the camera as his soul recoils in despair, knowing that he is now and forever a murderer.
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Apr 28, 2021 20:08
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Also Jim trains Dwight’s dog Mose to bite Dwight’s penis.
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Apr 28, 2021 20:09
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Mose is a dog now. This is canon.
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Apr 29, 2021 02:40
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Has anybody said Jim made a voodoo doll of Dwight yet? Regardless, Jim gives Mose a new dog toy made from a voodoo doll of Dwight. Instead of Mose tearing it apart like Jim expects, Mose humps it and somehow impregnates Dwight with a gay incest bestiality Dr. Moreau baby. Meanwhile, Mose is trying to remember something. He feels a great sense of loss, as though something important, something central to his being has been stolen from him. His simple, canine brain cannot recall what it is, though. The arch-transmuter Jim smirks wickedly in his mage tower, weaving black spells of torment and grief.
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May 3, 2021 23:48
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Jim consigns Dwight’s soul to the burning pits of The Nine Hells of Baator. The joke ends up being on Jim, though, because Dwight slowly rises in station from lowly nupperibo to mighty pit fiend and eventually, through his endless politicking and betrayal, usurps the position of Asmodeus. Jim smirks bitterly at the horror he has unwittingly unleashed upon the multiverse.
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May 4, 2021 17:33
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ilmucche posted:"No! I must stop the pranksters," he shouted! Jim comes to the startling realization that Dwight is an unhealthy fantasy personality that manifests during times of stress, and that by hurting Dwight he’s only hurting himself, and vice-versa. Jim then cuts off his own feet to spite Dwight.
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May 5, 2021 21:12
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SuperMechagodzilla posted:In this episode of The Office, Jim “accidentally” leaves Prank_Ideas.txt open on his desktop - listing thousands of Forbidden Pranks involving piss sex, dog incest, etc. Dwight writes a Marxist analysis of the Transformers series and Jim points and laughs at him.
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May 6, 2021 19:30
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Jim uses soul tRap on Dwight in order to fill a black soul gem he needs to cure his vampirism. Dwight is consigned to the soul cairn and Jim mugs to the camera.
Nigmaetcetera fucked around with this message at 01:13 on May 13, 2021 |
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May 13, 2021 01:00
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Dwight forgets to sign out of his @dundermifflin.com email account and Jim uses it to threaten the president and make bomb threats against the freedom tower.
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May 13, 2021 01:57
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Jim replaces Dwight’s antipsychotic medication with methamphetamine.
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May 14, 2021 14:09
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Dwight arranges a Lord of The Rings themed office party, where guests are encouraged to dress as their favorite Tolkien characters. Jim arrives dressed as Elric of Melniboné, the anti-Frodo.
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May 15, 2021 00:25
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Jim repeatedly and intentionally refers to beets as turnips.
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May 15, 2021 20:25
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Jim puts opium in Dwight's coffee and Dwight awakens aboard an 18th century merchant vessel bound for Shanghai. He is told he is the cabin boy and thus has to service the other sailors sexually. Jim may or may not smirk at this.
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May 15, 2021 21:13
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Jim has Dwight committed to a 1950’s style insane asylum where he is eventually lobotomized after Dwight starts insisting that his dog, Mose, is somehow also his human brother, and that Jim “did something" to Mose and somehow now nobody remembers anything about him. Jim smirks puckishly.
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May 24, 2021 21:43
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Jim places Dwight in a cauldron full of boiling water, and Dwight immediately jumps out, much to Jim’s chagrin. He later places Dwight in a cauldron with room temperature water in it, and turns on the heat so it warms up gradually. Dwight is slowly boiled alive, never noticing the rising temperature, and Jim makes a dumb smirk.
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Jun 11, 2021 13:13
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Jim turns off the water to the toilets in the office men's room so he can secretly drink Dwight's piss, cause he's a hosed up smirking weirdo. His perverted mind interprets this as an awesome prank.
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Jun 11, 2021 13:32
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Jim replaces the protium in Dwight’s body with deuterium.
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Jun 13, 2021 18:24
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Owlspiracy posted:jim slowly draws dwight and angela into a dangerous world of eroticism, revenge and temptation, culminating in a candle lit orgy in which dwight murders michael … Go on …
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Jun 14, 2021 04:16
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Jim beats Pam with a heavy leather belt due to his rage at accidentally calling her Dwight during sex.
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Jun 14, 2021 18:46
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Jim masturbates at his desk while maintaining full eye contact with Dwight throughout. As he reaches orgasm, he gurns to the camera.
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Jun 14, 2021 21:21
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Applewhite posted:Jim shrinks down to the size of a sperm and hides out in Dwight’s balls. When Dwight has sex with Angela later that night, Jim races to the front because he tied all of Dwight’s sperm’s tails together. He merges with Angela’s egg. Lol I was wondering how long it would take for Jim to buy a shrinking ray
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Jun 15, 2021 03:44
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BigBadSteve posted:Jim sucks off Dwight but refuses to swallow. Ok this is crossing a line. Mods?
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Jun 15, 2021 03:45
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Jim inserts a soda stream into Dwight’s penis, inflating his scrotum grotesquely and killing Dwight with a gas embolism. Jim mugs for the camera. Several hours later, in police custody, Jim realizes that would have been the perfect time to call Dwight balloon boy, but the moment has passed. Nigmaetcetera fucked around with this message at 02:03 on Jul 13, 2021 |
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Jul 13, 2021 01:35
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Angela goes down on Dwight for his birthday, but as he finishes his climax she pulls off her wig, revealing floppy brown hair, and a smirking, semen-filled mouth. You see, Angela had never existed at all. In fact, the entire Dunder-Mifflin staff was just Dwight, Creed, Jim, and Jim's many hilarious improv characters, like "Michael" and "Kelly".
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Jul 14, 2021 03:14
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Jim and three of his droogs (also Jims) bash Dwight up the gulliver and give him a bit of the old in-out in-out.
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Jul 31, 2021 16:14
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At Dwight’s birthday party, Jim climbs out of the Schrute homestead’s attic window, ecstatically shouts "It’s all for you, Dwight!" and jumps with a noose around his neck, producing a sickening crack and a corpse dripping urine. Dwight looks on impassively as Mose frantically tries to cover Dwight’s eyes. Meredith suffers a stroke. Jim’s body smirks at nothing in particular.
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Aug 4, 2021 21:43
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Jim pranks Dwight by putting his stapler in Jell-O. Again. Jim is suffering from severe depression.
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Aug 7, 2021 01:24
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Jim gives Dwight a Ouija board, knowing that Dwight is a Christian and will find it offensive. Dwight uses it anyway, holding no stock in silly pagan superstitions, and is immediately attacked by the spirits of Grandpa Schrute's victims. You see, they were Jewish slaves worked to death in Colonel Schrute's experimental beet fields, striving to create a perfect strain of coldproof aryan beets. They quickly realize their mistake and apologize to Dwight, but they still curse his beets for a thousand generations, because they have good reason to hate beets. One of them also transforms Mose from a dog into a bearded autistic amish-looking man, as a joke. Jim doesn't smirk because he has no idea any of this is happening, Pam just told him to get rid of their kids Ouija board because they'd been playing with it way too much, so he gave it to Dwight.
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Aug 9, 2021 01:41
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sexpig by night posted:Jim puts a hard-drive containing terabytes of child pornography on Dwight's computer. When asked where he even got that for the prank he simply says 'you know, the place'. I wanted to post this but I was worried about getting probed for crossing some kind of invisible bad taste line, thanks for making it unnecessary for me!
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Aug 11, 2021 04:06
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Jim bashes Dwight in the face with a loving 2x4, shattering his nose, knocking out most of his teeth, and fracturing his jaw. "APRIL FOOLS!", Jim screams. It’s the middle of August. Meredith has to be taken to the ER and the psych ward after eating broken glass due to her Munchausen’s syndrome.
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Aug 12, 2021 03:16
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Jim posts the dossier he's been keeping on Dwight on Kiwi Farms.
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Aug 23, 2021 15:31
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Applewhite posted:Jim says to Dwight, “Hey, Dwight, I heard you were into BOFA.” This sounds a lot like a Blecky Yuckerella strip. Not any specific one, just all of them.
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Sep 8, 2021 13:11
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Jim walks up behind Dwight while he’s working and gently rests his penis on Dwight’s left shoulder.
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Sep 25, 2021 20:03
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poisonpill posted:Dwight, the enlightened Zen master of the universe, paints a symphony of sound, light, color, and thought across the canvas of ten dimensional spacetime. He creates an intricate tapestry of reality and being for the pleasure of his fellow godlike beings, Angela, Pam, and Michael Scott. As he is about to create the ultimate expression of art, Jim sneaks into the 8th dimension and subtly alters the cosmological constant. Instead of a species of self-sentient creatures that can discover the secret of the universe and thereby themselves gain the power of time and space, this change makes the discovery of the true nature of the universe impossible. The species that would eventually gain control over reality collapses as the timeline itself adjusts, immediately and forever, and the universe collapses into a new form. This is a good one, every cosmic Jim story should end with Dwight feeling something vital has been stolen from him, but he can’t even begin to articulate why.
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Sep 28, 2021 20:52
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Jim convinces the Indigenous people of the island that he is their reincarnated volcano god, and long story short, they eat Dwight.
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Oct 2, 2021 19:26
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Jim traps Dwight's soul in a kilo brick of cocaine. Dwight's soul is insufflated, smoked, and injected in the bloodstreams of partyers all across the Eastern seaboard. He remains conscious throughout this, though blind, deaf, and paralyzed.
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Oct 5, 2021 23:40
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Gatto Grigio posted:Jim hires Colin Robinson, an energy vampire from Staten Island, to pose as a warehouse worker named Nate, so that he can suck the life-force out of the show in its final seasons. RIP Colin Robinson
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Oct 27, 2021 01:09
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| # ¿ May 15, 2024 00:34 |
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Jim denies mankind salvation by traveling through time, abducting the Christ Child, and raising him to be a smug, mugging pranktheist.
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Oct 27, 2021 01:56
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