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Lightning Knight
Feb 24, 2012

Pray for Answer
I have here a 100% true and real life recording of how Trump colluded with Russia.

[puts VHS of Burn After Reading into TV]

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AGGGGH BEES
Apr 28, 2018

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN
The real conspiracy is FAU hunting down the Trump toxxers one by one :tinfoil:

Bicyclops
Aug 27, 2004

Lightning Knight posted:

I have here a 100% true and real life recording of how Trump colluded with Russia.

[puts VHS of Burn After Reading into TV]

Okay, this one is patently ridiculous! The CIA in that film is way more competent than the real one.

RaySmuckles
Oct 14, 2009


:vapes:
Grimey Drawer

RasperFat posted:

But the problem is Putin has leverage over the oligarchs, and they have illegal deals with Trump, so that opens the door for all sorts of conspiracies to flourish because there has been confirmed financial trails connecting them. It also might legitimately allow Putin to pressure Trump into kowtowing to Russian demands that affect finances. And Trump’s shady avoidance of enforcing/enacting sanctions is another giant red flag, and also provides more fuel to conspiracy theories.

Did you know JFK was Catholic and that the Catholic Church has an entire network of agents operating in the open throughout the entire world? They offer the only thing that is so valuable that money cannot even buy it (any more): salvation. How's that for leverage!?

And did you know that the Catholic Church is headed by a single, believed-to-be infallible dictator for life? A man who controls vast swathes of wealth, entire populations, and one of the largest organizations on the planet with functionally no oversight?

Perhaps this is why JFK refused to support the Bay of Pigs against the primarily Catholic island nation of Cuba. Or why he didn't have the strength, or the courage, to bathe the world in nuclear fire during the Cuban Missile Crisis.

We've already had our Manchurian candidate, people. And it is only through the brave actions of the National Security Agencies working in conjunction with The Mob (and maybe even Aliens? Still working on that one) that we have excised that blight from our national legacy.

RaySmuckles fucked around with this message at 16:30 on Mar 28, 2019

RasperFat
Jul 11, 2006

Uncertainty is inherently unsustainable. Eventually, everything either is or isn't.

RaySmuckles posted:

Did you know JFK was Catholic and that the Catholic Church has an entire network of agents operating in the open throughout the entire world? They offer the only thing that is so valuable that money cannot even buy it (any more): salvation. How's that for leverage!?

And did you know that the Catholic Church is headed by a single, believed-to-be infallible dictator for life? A man who controls vast swathes of wealth, entire populations, and one of the largest organizations on the planet with functionally no oversight?

Perhaps this is why JFK refused to support the Bay of Pigs against the primarily Catholic island nation of Cuba. Or why he didn't have the strength, or the courage, to bathe the world in nuclear fire during the Cuban Missile Crisis.

We've already had our Manchurian candidate, people. And it is only through the brave actions of the National Security Agencies working in conjunction with The Mob (and maybe even Aliens? Still working on that one) that we have excised that blight from our national legacy.

I’m not entirely sure how you jumped from “rich failson has financial connections with rich criminals” to an Illuminati type conspiracy.

“Conspiracies” with the rich aren’t very complicated or rare, they’re just lame things like tax avoidance and money laundering. Which Trump is 98% likely to have done with foreign investors.

Typo
Aug 19, 2009

Chernigov Military Aviation Lyceum
The Fighting Slowpokes

RaySmuckles posted:

Perhaps this is why JFK refused to support the Bay of Pigs against the primarily Catholic island nation of Cuba. Or why he didn't have the strength, or the courage, to bathe the world in nuclear fire during the Cuban Missile Crisis.


holy poo poo

RaySmuckles
Oct 14, 2009


:vapes:
Grimey Drawer

RasperFat posted:

I’m not entirely sure how you jumped from “rich failson has financial connections with rich criminals” to an Illuminati type conspiracy.

“Conspiracies” with the rich aren’t very complicated or rare, they’re just lame things like tax avoidance and money laundering. Which Trump is 98% likely to have done with foreign investors.

what kind of leverage does putin have over a man with functionally limitless money serving as the head of the most powerful country in the history of civilization?

RasperFat posted:

It also might legitimately allow Putin to pressure Trump into kowtowing to Russian demands that affect finances. And Trump’s shady avoidance of enforcing/enacting sanctions is another giant red flag, and also provides more fuel to conspiracy theories.

you're saying it here. what the gently caress does trump care? he and his children are set for life. he doesn't need russia anymore. the connections and power he wields purely from the office of the presidency are enough to guarantee his and his family's status for generations. he is protected by partisan courts, legislators, national security institutions, law enforcement agencies, and a tradition of letting outgoing presidents get away with whatever.

putin has no hold on him. he's waaaaaay past putin and his criminal connections.


Typo posted:

holy poo poo

i know right? its called a "joke." fuckin' wild, frankly

RasperFat
Jul 11, 2006

Uncertainty is inherently unsustainable. Eventually, everything either is or isn't.

RaySmuckles posted:

what kind of leverage does putin have over a man with functionally limitless money serving as the head of the most powerful country in the history of civilization?


you're saying it here. what the gently caress does trump care? he and his children are set for life. he doesn't need russia anymore. the connections and power he wields purely from the office of the presidency are enough to guarantee his and his family's status for generations. he is protected by partisan courts, legislators, national security institutions, law enforcement agencies, and a tradition of letting outgoing presidents get away with whatever.

putin has no hold on him. he's waaaaaay past putin and his criminal connections.


i know right? its called a "joke." fuckin' wild, frankly

It’s a very simple line. Trump is financed by Russians after failing so much banks won’t lend to him anymore. Those Russian’s status is dependent on being in Putin’s good graces.

How does Trump have “limitless money”? His son clearly stated they needed financing (which he said was from Russians) to keep his golf courses operating.

Sure, he can and will continue to grift using the office, but he can’t actually get rich enough to play with the big boys through that.

Trump could have had cocaine hooker parties every night his entire adult life with just his daddy’s money. But instead he pissed a lot of it away with his failed business ventures. You’re ascribing way, way too much foresight and general comprehension to Trump who has been a short sighted con artist for decades.

Trump isn’t a planted spy or whatever stupid poo poo you’re trying to imply I said. He’s just a grifter who ran through all his marks in the US and had to expand abroad. And Putin has receipts for all of the boring but illegal shenanigans Trump has been up to with his criminal partners.

It would be absolutely loving devastating to the Trump “legacy” if all that came out.

Of course I don’t expect anything to actually happen to Trump legally given the precedent of our previous criminal presidents, but you have to try real loving hard to ignore how many shady Russian connections the Trump family has.

Which coincidentally plays into the reasoning I gave for how easy it is for outlandish conspiracy theories to spawn from Trump’s corrupt shitshow.

RaySmuckles
Oct 14, 2009


:vapes:
Grimey Drawer
obama's on his way to being a 100 millionaire if not billionaire despite never working in any sort of lucrative field (a couple books, but that's pocket change)

the clintons have a foundation/slush fund worth hundreds of millions of dollars. their success was able to downplay the fact that bill was almost impeached (waaaay closer than trump ever came) and his wife was able to run for president (rightfully. just saying the biggest political scandal of the last few decades had virtually no lasting effect). now their daughter is married into extreme wealth and being potentially groomed for political office herself where she can carry on the obvious clinton foundation grift for decades to come.

bush hw was one of the only presidents ever to only serve a single term but it didn't stop his son from attaining the presidency. speaking of his son, he's not in jail, which is some kind of diabolical miracle and now is even getting his reputation rehabilitated by the very people who opposed him!

once you hit that office you become teflon, RasperFat

nothing is going to stick to Trump. nothing is going to bring him down. he's doing so many favors for so many major players that he's gonna get all the funding and financing he's ever dreamed of once he's out of office.

sure, maybe he struggled before getting in, but now he's in a position to hook up so many people that they're gonna owe him big time

you're worried about what putin might say? watch me discredit that notion in 4 words: "wow, you believe putin!?" or how about 2: "russian propaganda." those last two words are so powerful they derailed a major american political party and its constituents for 2 full years, preventing any sort of self reflection after their stunning defeat at the hands of the clown donald j trump

look, have all the hope in justice that you want. i've been following US politics for a long, long time and have seen absolutely nothing, NOTHING, that supports the notion that trump will face any sort of negative consequences for his past behavior. once you're in the club, you and yours are set for life and he's in.

RasperFat
Jul 11, 2006

Uncertainty is inherently unsustainable. Eventually, everything either is or isn't.
Yeah I agree with our enforcement being corrupt and Presidents not going down for crimes.

I literally capped off saying I don’t expect Trump to actually go to jail for anything, he probably won’t ever even see a courtroom.

That’s entirely separate from the (basically confirmed) fact that Trump has been doing shady business with a bunch of Russians, almost certainly illegal, and that having all of that come out is something Trump still doesn’t want.

That doesn’t mean Russia has their hand fully up his rear end and have made him a living puppet. It just means that there’s money laundering that Trump would still rather not be publicly confirmed, even if he would never actually be behind bars for it. And is probably willing to do otherwise meaningless (to him) things to pay back those Russians, like sanctions fuckery.

RaySmuckles
Oct 14, 2009


:vapes:
Grimey Drawer

RasperFat posted:

Yeah I agree with our enforcement being corrupt and Presidents not going down for crimes.

I literally capped off saying I don’t expect Trump to actually go to jail for anything, he probably won’t ever even see a courtroom.

That’s entirely separate from the (basically confirmed) fact that Trump has been doing shady business with a bunch of Russians, almost certainly illegal, and that having all of that come out is something Trump still doesn’t want.

That doesn’t mean Russia has their hand fully up his rear end and have made him a living puppet. It just means that there’s money laundering that Trump would still rather not be publicly confirmed, even if he would never actually be behind bars for it. And is probably willing to do otherwise meaningless (to him) things to pay back those Russians, like sanctions fuckery.

ok, thanks for the responses. sorry if i came in really hot. i'm gonna let this go for now just to not think about it all day and let the thread continue on cuz i do love me some conspiracy theories.


building 7 is the best conspiracy.

only building to ever fall from just fire. housed the biggest natsec offices outside of dc area. emergency control bunker for nyc and somehow flimsy enough to burn to the ground when it obviously woulda been one of the sturdiest buildings in new york.

oh yeah, also it housed the back ups for the major accounting investigation into missing defense department money. the primary location of that stuff? the one part of the pentagon that got hit.

its so loving good.

also rudy guilliani is on record saying they decided to "pull it" ie tear the building down. it didn't collapse on its own.

SickZip
Jul 29, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

RaySmuckles posted:

ok, thanks for the responses. sorry if i came in really hot. i'm gonna let this go for now just to not think about it all day and let the thread continue on cuz i do love me some conspiracy theories.


building 7 is the best conspiracy.

only building to ever fall from just fire. housed the biggest natsec offices outside of dc area. emergency control bunker for nyc and somehow flimsy enough to burn to the ground when it obviously woulda been one of the sturdiest buildings in new york.

oh yeah, also it housed the back ups for the major accounting investigation into missing defense department money. the primary location of that stuff? the one part of the pentagon that got hit.

its so loving good.

also rudy guilliani is on record saying they decided to "pull it" ie tear the building down. it didn't collapse on its own.

You're missing the best part of this conspiracy.

quote:

On September 10, 2001 Rumsfeld called a dramatic press conference at the Pentagon to make a startling announcement. Referring to the huge military budget that was his official responsibility, he said, “According to some estimates we cannot track $2.3 trillion in transactions.” This shocking news that an amount more than five times as large as the Pentagon’s FY 2001 budget of an estimated $313 billion was lost or even just “untrackable” was—at least for one 24-hour news cycle—a big national story, as was Secretary Rumsfeld’s comment that America’s adversary was not China or Russia, but rather was “closer to home: It’s the Pentagon bureaucracy.” Equally stunning was Rumsfeld’s warning that the tracking down of those missing transactions “could be…a matter of life and death.”
https://www.thenation.com/article/pentagon-audit-budget-fraud/

cargo cult
Aug 28, 2008

by Reene
the CIA is engineering those Chinese Muslim concentration camps

SickZip
Jul 29, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
http://web.archive.org/web/20070222070344/http://www.southcoasttoday.com/daily/12-01/12-20-01/a02wn018.htm

quote:

One Army office in the Pentagon lost 34 of its 65 employees in the attack. Most of those killed in the office, called Resource Services Washington, were civilian accountants, bookkeepers and budget analysts. They were at their desks when American Airlines Flight 77 struck.
The Pentagon sure has some luck

RaySmuckles
Oct 14, 2009


:vapes:
Grimey Drawer

its really the best one of all the 9/11 ones

the calls from the plane are pretty decent too (its a frame)

my 9/11 take is that it was like pearl harbor. they let it happen and used it to their advantage

oh sure, the 3 most important ships just happened not to be there. they were doing "exercises," alone, and undefended. lmao

Bar Ran Dun
Jan 22, 2006




RaySmuckles posted:

building 7 is the best conspiracy.

I've posted photos classmates took inside building 7 just before its collapse on these forums in 9/11 threads.

R. Guyovich
Dec 25, 1991

Sheng-Ji Yang posted:

As a believer in a conspiracy theory, I think it is unfair my conspiracy theory is lumped in with other dumb conspiracy theories because mine is real

R. Guyovich
Dec 25, 1991

my actual conspiracy theory is that now when the cia fucks up they leak it to the press to fuel a "the cia is incompetent" narrative to cover their rear end and keep attention away from the stuff they're doing with extreme competency

WampaLord
Jan 14, 2010

RaySmuckles posted:

my 9/11 take is that it was like pearl harbor. they let it happen and used it to their advantage

oh sure, the 3 most important ships just happened not to be there. they were doing "exercises," alone, and undefended. lmao

Hell, same.

It's easier to believe than most conspiracies because it doesn't rely on the government being competent and effective enough to actually execute a conspiracy.

Mnoba
Jun 24, 2010
https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=1&v=W5hExv_vcGM

Rand Paul tells Fox News he has a high level source blaming the Obama administration for the use of the Steele Dossier to get FISA warrants on the Trump administration.

Bar Ran Dun
Jan 22, 2006




Bar Ran Dun
Jan 22, 2006




Stereotype posted:

In case you didn’t already dislike Tulsi Gabbard:

https://twitter.com/tulsigabbard/status/1111386620698083329?s=21

She is going to lose the primary really badly and is also going to lose her house seat because everyone in hawaii thinks she is embarrassing.

Bicyclops
Aug 27, 2004

R. Guyovich posted:

my actual conspiracy theory is that now when the cia fucks up they leak it to the press to fuel a "the cia is incompetent" narrative to cover their rear end and keep attention away from the stuff they're doing with extreme competency

The CIA has been populated with paranoid alcoholics since its inception, they're "competent" in the same way that Kiwi Farms is competent.

Percelus
Sep 9, 2012

My command, your wish is

if i ever get the honor and privilege to visit the george bush center for intelligence it'll be while wearing a shirt that says "hezbollah -1 cia - 0"

SickZip
Jul 29, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

Mnoba posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=1&v=W5hExv_vcGM

Rand Paul tells Fox News he has a high level source blaming the Obama administration for the use of the Steele Dossier to get FISA warrants on the Trump administration.

LBJ had the CIA insert moles in the Goldwater campaign, conduct illegal wiretaps, bug his offices and plane, and use their Mockingbird network to become ghostwriters on new stories about him. This is all established historical fact. Its only fitting that the Goldwater reboot got the same treatment.

Its cool that some stuff thats obviously true will forever be called a conspiracy no matter that the level of verification it gets. I call this the USS Liberty Effect

SickZip
Jul 29, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
Reminder that the Washington Post called Israel deliberately attacking the USS Liberty a conspiracy theory back in December while you can read the transcripts of the Israeli pilots chatter straight from their national archives and

quote:

Israeli pilot to IDF war room: This is an American ship. Do you still want us to attack?

IDF war room to Israeli pilot: Yes, follow orders.

Israeli pilot to IDF war room: But sir, it’s an American ship - I can see the flag!

IDF war room to Israeli pilot: Never mind; hit it.

Rime
Nov 2, 2011

by Games Forum
It seems like a rather early and snap decision to relegate the Mueller investigation to the realm of conspiracy, given nobody has read the report aside from the guy who washed away Iran/Contra. This thread may not age well. :shrug:

Bar Ran Dun
Jan 22, 2006




friendbot2000 posted:

https://twitter.com/MoveOn/status/1111406439724011520

Here is Schiffs response to the bullshit chud letter and Nunes looks like he got slapped in the face as it dawns on him how this is not a good look lol

SickZip
Jul 29, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
All the talk of Iran-Contra and I've never seen anyone post about the revelation that George HW Bush was the leaker who revealed it to the world.

That was a twist that even conspiracy theorists wouldn't have believed. The reveal that one of the biggest and most illegal conspiracies of modern political history was revealed because it was stepping on the toes of an even deeper and more illegal conspiracy is one for the ages

Helsing
Aug 23, 2003

DON'T POST IN THE ELECTION THREAD UNLESS YOU :love::love::love: JOE BIDEN

Rime posted:

It seems like a rather early and snap decision to relegate the Mueller investigation to the realm of conspiracy, given nobody has read the report aside from the guy who washed away Iran/Contra. This thread may not age well. :shrug:

The Mueller report was prepared by a guy who helped lie the United States into the Iraq war and the initial US Intel assessment came from another Iraq War liar who is also noteworthy for committing perjury in front of congress. Also, it might be contextually relevant to point out that Mueller and Barr have been friends and colleagues for more than 30 years. It's fine to be skeptical of Barr but in that case lets see that skepticism applied equally to everyone. There's no version of this where Mueller comes off as a boy scout but Barr is some kind of creature of the Republican party.

I'm sure that the report is going to contain some nasty details about the Trump administration's corrupt entangling with various unsavory characters. I think the conspiracy angle at this point is the assumption that whatever did happen in the Trump campaign somehow is more significant or sinister than the sort of influence commanded by the Saudis or Israelis or various billionaire crackpots who all seem to have a much more visible and pernicious impact on American politics.

This would hardly be the first time that a conspiracy theory was launched on the basis of an actual scandal. It may be that there was some amount of untoward behaviour or even something outright criminal (I mean in addition to the process crimes that were unambiguously criminal acts but which on their own don't prove anything about the underlying accusations) but that nevertheless the version of this story that was relentlessly hyped by the media was nevertheless a conspiracy theory.

Xander77
Apr 6, 2009

Fuck it then. For another pit sandwich and some 'tater salad, I'll post a few more.



Helsing posted:

This would hardly be the first time that a conspiracy theory was launched on the basis of an actual scandal. It may be that there was some amount of untoward behaviour or even something outright criminal (I mean in addition to the process crimes that were unambiguously criminal acts but which on their own don't prove anything about the underlying accusations) but that nevertheless the version of this story that was relentlessly hyped by the media was nevertheless a conspiracy theory.
Like... high-ranking persons Trump campaign probably actually cooperated (let's not use the other C-word) with the Russians to dig up dirt on Hillary in exchange for an implied or explicitly promised improvement in US-Russia relationships and end to the sanctions, but the reporting on the matter was just too melodramatic?

Trump probably definitely banged prostitutes in Russia but they probably didn't pee on him?

No one ever felt the need to explicitly state that the success of Trump's business interests in Russia was contingent upon his cooperation with Putin's regime?

Xander77 fucked around with this message at 17:06 on Mar 29, 2019

Helsing
Aug 23, 2003

DON'T POST IN THE ELECTION THREAD UNLESS YOU :love::love::love: JOE BIDEN

Xander77 posted:

Like... high-ranking persons Trump campaign probably actually cooperated (let's not use the other C-word) with the Russians to dig up dirt on Hillary in exchange for an implied or explicitly promised improvement in US-Russia relationships and end to the sanctions, but the reporting on the matter was just too melodramatic?


Yes.

Bar Ran Dun
Jan 22, 2006




Barr Says Mueller Report Will Be Made Public by mid-April https://nyti.ms/2TJDV8K

Looks like mid April for the report

true.spoon
Jun 7, 2012
Helsing, can you give an example of particularly bad reporting in this regard (preferably mainstream, for example a Rachel Maddow piece, and maybe not older than a year)? This is an honest request, I would like to have something to compare to what will eventually be publicly known to callibrate my worldview so to speak.

RaySmuckles
Oct 14, 2009


:vapes:
Grimey Drawer

SickZip posted:

All the talk of Iran-Contra and I've never seen anyone post about the revelation that George HW Bush was the leaker who revealed it to the world.

That was a twist that even conspiracy theorists wouldn't have believed. The reveal that one of the biggest and most illegal conspiracies of modern political history was revealed because it was stepping on the toes of an even deeper and more illegal conspiracy is one for the ages

please, go on

Name Change
Oct 9, 2005


SickZip posted:

All the talk of Iran-Contra and I've never seen anyone post about the revelation that George HW Bush was the leaker who revealed it to the world.

That was a twist that even conspiracy theorists wouldn't have believed. The reveal that one of the biggest and most illegal conspiracies of modern political history was revealed because it was stepping on the toes of an even deeper and more illegal conspiracy is one for the ages

Great moments in project management.

Goatse James Bond
Mar 28, 2010

If you see me posting please remind me that I have Charlie Work in the reports forum to do instead

SickZip posted:

All the talk of Iran-Contra and I've never seen anyone post about the revelation that George HW Bush was the leaker who revealed it to the world.

That was a twist that even conspiracy theorists wouldn't have believed. The reveal that one of the biggest and most illegal conspiracies of modern political history was revealed because it was stepping on the toes of an even deeper and more illegal conspiracy is one for the ages

you'd think that, but the actual revealer was jeb!.

pretty good for a 32-year-old

Bar Ran Dun
Jan 22, 2006




Diana Rhem was taking about the report and Barr this week.

https://www.stitcher.com/s?eid=59655724&refid=asa

SickZip
Jul 29, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

RaySmuckles posted:

please, go on

https://www.lrb.co.uk/v41/n02/seymour-m-hersh/the-vice-presidents-men

The tldr is that Bush thought Reagan and his pick to lead the CIA were clowns so he setup a completely illegal intelligence operation that conducted operations in foreign countries with no authorization from the president or Congress. The Iran Contra stuff started stepping on their toes so Bush leaked the info with the idea that the head of the CIA takes the fall and Reagan's clumsy cowboy operation ends. Except their fall guy gets brain cancer and becomes too dead to fill the role and everything spirals out of their control and becomes a major scandal when it was meant to be an embarrassment

SickZip fucked around with this message at 03:01 on Mar 30, 2019

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Gresh
Jan 12, 2019


Rime posted:

It seems like a rather early and snap decision to relegate the Mueller investigation to the realm of conspiracy, given nobody has read the report aside from the guy who washed away Iran/Contra. This thread may not age well. :shrug:

It is in the realm of conspiracy. #ReleaseTheFullReport is basically "Release your long form birth certificate" at this point. Its loving unbelievable how many people still won't admit fault and move on.

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