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 Boris Johnson is chosen as the new Conservative Party leader in a ballot of party members, beating Jeremy Hunt by 92,153 votes to 46,656, May resigned to the Queen. Meet the new shits, same as the old: Prime Minister, First Lord of the Treasury - Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson Lord President of the Council - Jacob Rees-Mogg Chancellor of the Exchequer - Aynrand Eggman Home Secretary - Israel Holiday Foreign Secretary and First Secretary of State - Rennie Raab Chancellor of Getting Stuck in the Privy - Michael Gove Secretary of State for Business, Energy and Industrial Strategy - Andrea Leadsom Secretary of State for International Trade - Liz 'Drone Dogs' Truss Secretary of State for Starving Paups - Amber Rudd Minister without Portfolio - James, Cleverly  Federation of South African Women posted:Raids, arrests, loss of pay, long hours at the pass office, weeks in the cells awaiting trial, forced farm labor—this is what the pass laws have brought to African men … punishment and misery, not for a crime, but for the lack of a pass. We African women know too well the effect of this law upon our homes, upon our children. We who are not African women know how our sisters suffer … In The News  • The UK experiences its hottest July day on record, with a temperature of 38.1°C at Cambridge, beating the previous high of 36.7°C in July 2015 in Heathrow, west London.  • Liberty loses their court fight against the Investigatory Powers Act and bulk hacking, but vows to appeal. • Tommy Robinson is found guilty of contempt of court over a Facebook broadcast, he may have been decked by an OAP in prison. • Secretary of State for Justice David Gauke confirms that "Helen's Law" will be adopted in England and Wales, preventing people wrongly convicted in missing body murders from accessing parole while rewarding pathological liars. • MPs vote by 294 to 293 in support of requiring ministers to give fortnightly updates on the situation in Northern Ireland. (It's bad.) • The first fatal collision involving a motorized scooter (not a motor scooter) in Britain occurs, killing TV presenter and YouTuber Emily Hartridge in Battersea. • The Iranian Navy of the Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps captures British tanker Stena Impero and temporarily seizes British-operated and Liberian-flagged tanker Mesdar in the Persian Gulf. • Tory MP for Dover, Charlie Elphicke, is charged with three counts of sexual assault against two women. • Tory MP Mark Field has his charges for assaulting a protester dropped. • The Peterloo Massacre happened 200 years ago in a couple of weeks and there's some event's in Manchester. • 92 days until Brexit or something. • Planet's dyin' Cloud. August is that last flicker of fun and heat before everything fades and dies. The final moments of fun before the freeze. In the winter, everything changes. Augustus Egg UKMT July 2019 - A more cheerful Brexit/BBC for slutty communists All Previous Threads (thanks Pesky Splinter) Fort Augustus Abbey Europol Thread Scotpol Thread Trainchat Thread Political Cartoons Thread C-SPAM: BREXIT BYOB: UKMT August Alsina Off the Fence - Brighton based, covering UK & Global topics. Pretty chill and professional peeps. Older 'casts can be found in the PLATFORM B archive. Reel Politik - The Original Leftie Hate Trolls. Check 'em out. We Don't Talk About The Weather - Two cool guys discuss news and other stuff. The UKMT-iest of Podcasts. Desolation Radio - Socialism from a Welsh perspective. Informative hosts. Revolutionary Despatches - Two new guys starting out. Connected & Disaffected - Breezy discussions of lefty social, and historical topics, and news updates. Pretty Good. Trashfuture - Theme of the week style podcast about capitalism and how much it fucks up. Cool podcasters, sometimes working with Reel Politik Agitpod - Owen Jones & Ellie Mae O’Hagan discuss news. Reasons to Be Cheerful - Former Labour leader Ed "Red Ed" Milliband and Geoff Lloyd shoot the poo poo, and discuss general politics. Sometimes with guests. Novara Media - Numerous fluctucating commentators including Matt Zarb-Cousin, Max Shanly, and James Butler among others. Varying topics with guests. [Citations Needed] - Covers the US, focussing on the media, PR, and assorted bullshit. Also some socialist history topics. Very informative. Chapo House Media - More US focused, from a leftist perspective. Basically a US version of Reel Politik, but with better mics. Worth a listen. General Intellect Unit - Podcast of the Cybernetic Marxists. Examining the intersection of Technology, (Left) Politics, and Philosophy; decently in-depth and theory-driven as podcasts go. Augustine of Hippo Stop, Thief!: The Commons, Enclosures, And Resistance – Peter Linebaugh Demanding The Impossible - David Morland Demanding the Impossible: A History of Anarchism - Peter Marshall Chav Solidarity - D. Hunter Libertarian Communism – Isaac Puente Amestoy At The Café – Malatesta The Method of Freedom – Malatesta In Praise of Idleness – Russell Political Ideals – Russell Declaration – Hardt and Negri Liberalism, a Counter History – Domenico Losurdo God and the State – Bakunin The Conquest of Bread – Kropotkin Imperialism, the Highest Stage of Capitalism – V I Lenin Anarchism and Other Essays – Emma Goldman Social Reform or Revolution – Rosa Luxemburg Violence – Slavoj Zizek Jihad vs. McWorld - Benjamin Barber Crashed: How a Decade of Financial Crises Changed the World – Adam Tooze Flat Earth News - Nick Davies Hack Attack - Nick Davies Ecology of Freedom – Murray Bookchin Anarchism, Marxism and the Future of the Left – Murray Bookchin Let's Read Das Kapital – Karl Marx and Goons Augusto Pinochet (thanks feedmegin) quote:I came up with the idea of a register of goons and their CLPs in case any new joiners wanted someone to go to to get the local lie of the land. The Effortpost's Graveyard (thanks goddamnedtwisto and UKMT goons) Join us on synIRC for Question Time Awfulness and Stuff #ukgoons on synIRC (thanks crispix). Lightning Knight posted:
learnincurve posted:Need something added to every OP. DWP have been told not to tell sanctioned people about this. https://twitter.com/MichaelPeterAnt/status/1155751505070362624
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Aug 1, 2019 00:07
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Also after discussing it with CB and amongst ourselves, we’ve decided we won’t punish people just for mentioning pissflaps anymore as long as it doesn’t cause an extended derail. What constitutes “an extended derail” is up to interpretation. 
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Greggs is poo poo
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Aug 1, 2019 00:16
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boris johnson shoves poop into his urethra so he can piss poo poo and cum all over himself at the same time
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Aug 1, 2019 00:24
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I feel like being able to piss and cum at the same time is itself quite a feat. But I believe it, could there be a more apt example of the effects of capitalism that a man should not be content with the ability to piss and cum together that he should also demand the ability to poo poo therewith?
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Aug 1, 2019 00:33
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August thread off to a highbrow start, then 
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Aug 1, 2019 00:38
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I just used the word therewith in a sentence I'm classy af.
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Aug 1, 2019 00:47
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posting to bookmark
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Aug 1, 2019 01:00
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This might have gotten lost in the last thread but this happened tonight and it was really sweetquote:One of our jam regulars came out as trans tonight by announcing it from the stage after playing a set and the whole bar responded with a round of applause and cheers.
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Aug 1, 2019 01:00
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Obviously, I thought of people all attending a jam-tasting party before I thought of the musical sort of jam. This is obviously Corbyn's fault. Edit: I am pleased it went so well for your friend though. All right-thinking people agree, music is more interesting than the strict gender binary. As are all the other kinds of jam. Jollity Farm fucked around with this message at 01:07 on Aug 1, 2019 |
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Aug 1, 2019 01:04
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https://twitter.com/AndrewBartletta/status/1156504807386935296
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Aug 1, 2019 01:12
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Just watched The Addams Family again and I have to say every time I watch it they seem like a happier more functional family than any real world one
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Aug 1, 2019 01:17
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So goons, if I come back to the UK after 6 years of not paying my student loan and just start paying it again... Will anyone care or notice? Just lost my job over here in the Netherlands and there's a couple of fairly decent opportunities in the UK that for some strange reason the companies I'm talking to are having a hard time filling lately. 
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Aug 1, 2019 01:21
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Mebh posted:So goons, if I come back to the UK after 6 years of not paying my student loan and just start paying it again... Will anyone care or notice? yes
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Aug 1, 2019 01:26
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Has anyone been sending you or your family nasty letters about the loan? Cos afaik they're really bad at knowing wtf is going on if you leave the country. So you'll probably get a letter demanding you give them loads of money or something cos clearly you've been living it up abroad.
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Aug 1, 2019 01:27
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I think if you've not been declaring your income to them for over a year they consider you delinquent and can demand you pay back the maximum monthly repayment amount rather than whatever you'd be on in line with your salary. Whether they actually do that I have no idea. AFAIR they can't demand an immediate full repayment or anything like that. It's been a few years since I myself left the country though so take all this with a large shaker of salt - things may well have changed since then or I'm misremembering stuff. e: Also be aware that having been non-resident for so long you might not immediately qualify for JSA (make sure you have records of your Dutch employment in order, along with a E301/PD U1 form from UWV if you think you might need to claim benefits, but honestly I'd recommend being unemployed in the Netherlands over unemployed in the UK), and you may be asked to prove that you are ordinarily resident in the UK to access NHS services (if you still have Dutch health insurance and a valid EHIC you should be able to use that in the meantime). big scary monsters fucked around with this message at 01:43 on Aug 1, 2019 |
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Aug 1, 2019 01:36
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lol this genius still hasn't delighted this amazing tweet. crispix posted:August thread off to a highbrow start, then To answer your question from the last thread, Tesco is on the bus route from town to here so I don't have to go all the way into town then walk 30 minutes to get to Aldi or Lidl while carrying a bunch of shopping, or get a 20 minute extra bus ride to Asda. Lower effort > Slightly higher cost. I might be poor but I'm still lazy. Wait, I might be (definitely am) poor BECAUSE I'm lazy. Hmmm.
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Aug 1, 2019 01:46
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Drunkposting from Dublin rather than the Midlands for once - the UK should DEFINITELY not invade, no occupying power is prepared for this kind of consumption
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Aug 1, 2019 01:52
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We would be welcomed as liberators! 
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Aug 1, 2019 02:29
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Vlex posted:Drunkposting from Dublin rather than the Midlands for once - the UK should DEFINITELY not invade, no occupying power is prepared for this kind of consumption Lol instead of an indyref Big Nicky The Sturge should challenge Bojo to a drinking competition.
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Aug 1, 2019 02:32
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I've been in an argument since yesterday with a (presumably soon to be ex) friend of mine over that Corbyn tweet where he asked Branson to return the money he sued the NHS for. The absolute loving highlight was him saying it was bad of Corbyn to "punch down" by castigating a law-abiding private citizen, I poo poo you not
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Aug 1, 2019 02:52
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I'm not sure if we achieved Peak Cat in the last thread, so here's my boy Archer being a fuzzbutt     
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Aug 1, 2019 02:56
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Tarnop posted:I'm not sure if we achieved Peak Cat in the last thread, so here's my boy Archer being a fuzzbutt I pride myself on at least a modest degree of ability with the English language, but not only do I lack the words to express how sof this boy is, I lack the words to even express how far short I fall.
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Aug 1, 2019 03:24
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Yeah I don't even like cats really but Archer looks adorable
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Aug 1, 2019 03:42
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Is that the manspreading I have heard so much about?
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Aug 1, 2019 04:03
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This is such a deep cut I laughed for a full minute. This must be, what? 16 years ago?
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Aug 1, 2019 04:12
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Dunno exactly when it was but I'm somewhat sure it was by Hambeef who used to play TF2 on the UK goon server. I seem to think I had played TF2 with him when he made this and it only came out in 2007, so it'd be after that.
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Aug 1, 2019 04:43
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Anyone else think that Rees-Mogg sounds like the hairy gunk you have to pay a plumber to dig out of a clogged bath drain? If not, is there anything I can do to make it a synonym of this? Maybe via rhyming slang (Rees = Mogg = Clog)?
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Aug 1, 2019 05:27
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*sucks teeth* Yeah, that U-bend’s all Jacob’d up. Going to be expensive to fix. E: Jacob’d > Rees’d
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Aug 1, 2019 06:26
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I'm going to be line managing some people soon as part of my changing role. Does anyone have any recommendations of a book I can read to support my ability to not be complete oval office in the process of doing this? It's a clinical role within the NHS, if that matters.
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Aug 1, 2019 06:28
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Beefeater1980 posted:*sucks teeth* Yeah, that U-bend’s all Jacob’d up. Going to be expensive to fix. Either that or "Yeah, you got a big Reesmogg in there, that's what causing the backup."
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Aug 1, 2019 06:38
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Vincent Van Goatse posted:Either that or "Yeah, you got a big Reesmogg in there, that's what causing the backup." "Looks like the 18th century in there"
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Aug 1, 2019 06:46
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mehall posted:"Looks like the 18th century in there" "Going to need a coathanger to sort that one out."
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Aug 1, 2019 06:56
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 They finished building this road like, last year. Great future proofing
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Aug 1, 2019 07:23
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Coohoolin, really cool to hear about your friend  Guavanaut posted:August is that last flicker of fun and heat before everything fades and dies. The final moments of fun before the freeze. In the winter, everything changes. Good news, in a few more years winter won't exist any more. It will just be the constant heat of the Mad Max hellscape 24/7.
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Aug 1, 2019 07:39
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Ratjaculation posted:Greggs is poo poo 
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Aug 1, 2019 07:43
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Ratjaculation posted:Greggs is poo poo Disagree.
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Aug 1, 2019 07:46
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Ratjaculation posted:Greggs is poo poo you're going in a steak bake, fucker
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Aug 1, 2019 07:50
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£
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Eddy-Baby posted:
Man for a first world country the UK is really terrible at building infrastructure that doesn't explode and shut down when it's like 35C or it rains a bit
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Aug 1, 2019 07:51
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Found this picture of a cat I used to have 
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Aug 1, 2019 07:53
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Pochoclo posted:Man for a first world country the UK is really terrible at building infrastructure Fixed that, we're just about capital flows now, the age of the Workshop of the World was long ago.
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Aug 1, 2019 07:59
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