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We rang in the start to peak season when a driver in our district practiced hand to surface technique as "it was in my hand - now it's on a surface" and killed a dog by slinging a package over a fence - https://nypost.com/2019/11/20/yorkie-crushed-by-fedex-driver-who-threw-package-over-fence-family-says/ This going to make for a lot of extra safety meetings when everyone is really thinking, "would it be irony if it had been a Chewy.com box?"
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Nov 23, 2019 19:17
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Dillbag posted:I like to imagine the guy in the back sneaking away continues off the roof, into his car, and into the sunset, never to be seen again Then there's other guy further back all "hey Mike come see what these two dumbasses did!"
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Dec 2, 2019 22:51
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Platystemon posted:There a prosthetic penises where squeezing a fake testicle erects them. If the air blows out the dickhole when it deflates dusting a keyboard would be hilarious.
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Dec 3, 2019 22:25
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UPS has been a stream of OSHA lately, two people were killed in a tugger accident in LA last month, and driver in MA in October that didn't get reported.
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Dec 6, 2019 21:40
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Uthor posted:I don't know what this is but I choose to believe that it involves mutual masturbation. That would be the better way to go out really. A tugger is an electric cart used to pull cages of oversized/heavy packages in a shipping facility, it's in the same category of hosed as getting run over by a forklift, so if your head isn't turned to paste you'll have a few minutes to contemplate how horribly you're dying before bleeding out.
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Dec 6, 2019 22:39
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Stanley Tucheetos posted:It was a full sized gas tug they use to move aircraft containers. The driver and passenger were in their early 20s and flipped it on its side. Both passengers died instantly and one was decapitated. Yipes, just yipes. I work for the competition so we didn't get the details, just multiple emails from district safety to harp on procedure to make sure none of the temps get their asses splattered over the holidays.
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Dec 7, 2019 01:18
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Ornamental Dingbat posted:My favorite UPS memory was one time when I was running the tower controlling the belts to the primary and secondary sorts I noticed a jam on one of the belts. My leg was broken from falling off of a ladder a few days before so I couldn't climb down and break the jam but luckily an IE (tech support) guy was there with me and he jumped onto the moving belt to break the jam with his foot. I'll have to tell that one to my coworkers that came over from UPS. One story that happened locally that they've all confirmed as having happening and is all so OSHA as poo poo- A loader walks up to a manager looking like he fell in a mud puddle, says he's leaving early and for the manager to go look at the truck he was loading. Turns out the driver was making GBS threads in Ziploc bags and had left a weeks worth in the cab, the manager grabbed some trash bags to cover the seat and the steering wheel and drives the truck as far out in the yard as possible. When the driver shows up the manager basically grounds him until the truck is clean enough to eat off the dashboard, which is where half of the poo poo bags had been left to ferment. The manager in this story is my cousin who quit a week after this happened.
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Dec 7, 2019 19:15
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Pile Of Garbage posted:
If you're not posting in it already, the AIRPOWER/Cold War thread in TFR is always good for nuke talk - https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3373768
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Dec 8, 2019 21:06
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Cyrano4747 posted:gently caress & I work the purple side of the fence and had a similar accident and completely different result where I was dehydrated from puking my guts out due to allergies so one minute I'm loading a truck and 5 minutes later I'm staring at the ceiling and getting dragged off the floor. Took nearly half an hour to convince management to not call an ambulance I just needed to chug a gallon of water, they only agreed if I had a full panel run on me to make sure my brain hadn't partially exploded. Upside, I have 3 year old CT scans I didn't pay a dime for to show my brain is fine, I'm just an idiot.
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Dec 9, 2019 22:21
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slinkimalinki posted:With people who have burns to 95 percent of their bodies, is there enough skin to harvest? Do they just go back to the same area 20 times? All so what area is the remainder usually? Is it really the crotch/asscrack like that one Carlin bit?
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Dec 11, 2019 20:32
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Lurking Haro posted:From the green hue, it might be oil gelled by antifreeze. Oil sludge from never being changed mixed with antifreeze from a massively blown head gasket and chronically overheating engine going by the diarrhea jello that was in my sister's idiot husband's old truck.
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Dec 14, 2019 22:33
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Icon Of Sin posted:It’s been a while since we checked in with Swift, let's see how things are going! Could be worse one of the line haul drivers at my job nearly caught his trailers on fire coming in, considering this happened two days - https://www.nbclosangeles.com/news/local/la-stringer-fedex-truck-filled-with-gifts-catches-fire/2280038/ Doing better than UPS at least. 
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Dec 24, 2019 19:24
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Ate poo poo loading a truck today and got ordered to leave and make sure I didn't break my wrist, seeing this I think my pride took the worst of it.
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Jan 3, 2020 18:14
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Jet Jaguar posted:Surely these loafers will protect me from the incredibly hot ribbon of metal! Iron at that temperature at your feet, yeah I'd take my chances of a slap burn over having the burn ward trying to figure out where the shoe rubber ends and the flesh of my foot starts.
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Jan 18, 2020 22:58
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Icon Of Sin posted:Wrapped up in a blanket and hit with socks that contain (at best) a bar of soap. Even with just the soap, it’ll leave some hardcore bruises, with potential for broken ribs. A vet I used to play warhammer with told me he just swung his boots by the laces because "gently caress that guy" but all so 
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Jan 19, 2020 02:32
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The overwhelming majority of humanity is dumber than a bag of hammers. Is that a better answer?
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Jan 19, 2020 03:05
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Mr. Landis, your moving truck is going to be late.
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Jan 19, 2020 17:53
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Rare video footage of the colossal S.Q.U.I.D.
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Jan 20, 2020 04:06
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Sagebrush posted:i've heard the claims that it's an acronym for "stupid quick unfortunately imminently dead" and the like, but as in literally every case where a word (gently caress, posh, etc) is claimed to be an acronym, that's undoubtedly horseshit Yeah I agree the acronym is probably horseshit but most people are familiar with some version of it and it didn't make the joke any worse. When I worked at a Sears one idiot basically lost half his foot doing this when the bale expanded just that little bit extra to roll out on it's own .
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Jan 20, 2020 19:24
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Agrinja posted:Yeah I've seen those bailers do stupid poo poo and I've always advised my coworkers to not play with that garbage, and my response to crawling into the fucker has always been "lol no". Especially when the problem is something dumb like someone forgot to put the chains down before the bailer was filled. I don't even like standing next to the wire loops you put on because I've seen them overfill those fuckers all too much and then the wire bursts. A favorite trick of mine to get dumbasses to not gently caress with balers at later jobs is I'd score one of the bale wires before training new hires on operating it so I'd get a guaranteed wire snap. Seeing one go off like Satan's bullwhip and saying "Now imagine that hitting your face" put the fear in all of them.
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Jan 21, 2020 00:32
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stump collector posted:Home grown OSHA. I imagine this is going to be some nightmare fuel for me as the full story comes out. That's a helluva user name and post combo. All so not looking forward to the upcoming safety meetings where corporate tries to set us as the purple Gallant to the brown Goofus.
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Feb 11, 2020 21:55
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Guessing the footage with the little boy before this wasn't as good.
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Mar 7, 2020 01:17
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The paraglider crash was funnier when imagining it sounding like Homerfallingdownacliff.mp3 instead.
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Mar 7, 2020 18:46
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Dick Trauma posted:For the truck, or the driver? First one, then the other.
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Mar 12, 2020 02:14
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A lot of slag on that bead.
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Mar 14, 2020 02:07
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Feb-Apr is basically firing season at my job because of so many people calling out on Mondays constantly, I don't think there's vertical surface in the building that doesn't have a cliff notes version of the attendance policy taped to it right now.
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Mar 15, 2020 17:06
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The only way this could get more hilarious is if there's a single German factory that could have done it.
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Mar 15, 2020 20:48
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mostlygray posted:Some people don't realize it when they've used the excuse so many times that everyone knows they're lying. Just like coke heads who claim they have "allergies" and that's why they're sniffing all the time. I had some coworkers that thought this and wanted me to share the wealth, they stopped when one morning I didn't bother going to the bathroom and horked neon snot in a trash can for a couple minutes and walked it off like a cat after blowing out a hairball.
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Mar 16, 2020 23:19
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