Coronavirus 2021: I Threw Up On My Sheep

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > Coronavirus 2021: I Threw Up On My Sheep

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

AreWeDrunkYet posted:

My employer has been insisting on people using their cameras on conference calls so we can maintain a "more personal presence".

Install a plugin that presents looping video to the OS as a virtual webcam.

If anyone notices, feign surprise. Say you�ll check if a reboot fixes it.

The reboot does fix it (and give you an opportunity to make a sandwich or whatever), but would you look at that? The problem mysteriously recurs however often you think you can get away with it.

# ¿ Mar 23, 2020 16:00

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# ¿ May 14, 2024 00:53

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

Heath posted:

I went outside tonight and was starstruck, literally. I cannot remember the last time I was able to see the sky so clearly. The haze that hangs over us most of the time is just completely gone. I stood there and gawked upward like a child for what seemed a very long time, and it was like looking up and seeing no ceiling above me. It hasn't felt so enormous, nor I so small, for many years. Forces you to reflect on what else you're being robbed of.

When this is over, send me a message and, if our travels line up, I�ll show you the sky through a telescope.

# ¿ Mar 23, 2020 16:05

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

Rasta_Al posted:

The hospital I work at is grossly unprepared. One of the on call biomeds got dispatched to a call last weekend in CCU. There are currently active COVID patients in that unit and the nursing staff had limited ppe, with many of them not even wearing masks at all.
He brought it up to our supervisor who in turn had a meeting with the CCU head nurse this past Monday, and she no poo poo told him that, �people are blowing this out of proportion. It�s no worse than the normal flu.�
I don�t want to go to work at this place. It seems like I�m the only one walking around with a mask and gloves, and all I do is work on the drat equipment.

No worse than the normal flu?

Tell them to check the record books next year because this is beating the Spanish Flu.

It�s joining the dark pantheon of malaria, measles, tuberculosis, and smallpox.

# ¿ Mar 25, 2020 15:37

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

One thing that money could do is keep teetering hospitals on their feet.

Bailing out Boeing is not as important as bailing out those hospitals.

The U.S. lost sixty‐four hospitals in 2018, mostly in rural areas, and more are closing even now.

# ¿ Mar 26, 2020 10:38

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

Zugzwang posted:

This five-year-old TED Talk from Dr. Microsoft is pretty prescient:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Af6b_wyiwI

Around the 4:20 mark: "Next time, we might not be so lucky. You can have a virus where people feel well enough while they're infectious that they get on a plane or they go to a market."

I really want to know what he�d say about the risk posed by nuclear weapons today.

# ¿ Mar 27, 2020 03:17

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

Burt Sexual posted:

Drop it now you two

# ¿ Mar 27, 2020 03:33

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

Zugzwang posted:

I bet you could find a video or article or something with him talking about it. Future-of-humanity/existential risk type stuff seems to be his bag these days.

AFAIK the risks for nuclear war are as high as they've ever been. Let's hope there are still enough Stanislav Petrovs around (you, yes you reading this, are here because of this man).

I really don�t like every nuclear‐armed nation on earth simultaneously undergoing a crisis that could change regimes.

At this point I don�t know what they would have to gain from launching the missiles, but it�s the ones who have nothing to lose that you have to watch out for.

Also, I just want to say say that if Bill Gates were such a prophet, there�s a lot he could have done with his own money.

In 2015, if an epidemiologist believes there will be a pandemic for which we are woefully unprepared, they spread the message anywhere they can.

If a multibillionaire believes the same, they have the wealth to stockpile supplies, to train teams, to lobby with real monetary backing.

It�s not that Gates did none of these things�he certainly did more than the average billionaire (faint praise)�but even he had a good measure of the false belief that it wouldn�t happen to us.

The CDC�s entire infectious disease budget is two and a half billion dollars.

# ¿ Mar 27, 2020 07:02

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

Zugzwang posted:

So are y'all disinfecting takeout food/groceries like me or am I the furthest along on the paranoia spectrum? (I do let nonperishable groceries sit in bags in the corner for 4+ days and assume they're fine at least.)

Also, re: glove chat earlier, I got takeout tonight and had to show my phone to the cashier so he could find my order number. He touched my screen with his gloved hand that he was using to touch everything else.

The absolute risk may be low, but risk reduction you get for the amount of effort is quite high. Compare it to exercising your whole life to lower your risk of conditions like heart disease.

I figure if I wasn�t taking precautions like that, I might as well start riding a motorcycle without a helmet.

# ¿ Mar 27, 2020 07:10

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

hobbez posted:

This is ridiculous unless you are over the age of 50 or live with someone with serious cardiac, immune, or respiratory commorbidities

If you are thirty‐four, and you get CoVID, it�s about as likely to kill you as every other cause combined in an ordinary year, at that age.

It�s not far off for ten years of so on either side of that age.

If you could do a weekly chore, of no more than an hour, that halves your risk of dying in the near future, wouldn�t you?

Even if it doesn�t kill you, it can make your life very unpleasant for a couple of weeks with walking pneumonia.

There�s a decent chance it puts you in the hospital, which, O.K., you�ll probably survive, but at this point you�ll really be regretting not taking precautions, and that grandma you�re taking a bed in front will, too.

# ¿ Mar 27, 2020 10:01

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

Son of Rodney posted:

We are all going to catch this virus. It's pretty much assured. Just try your best to stay healthy I guess and stop smoking if you are, that might help your chances, but you are gonna get it some time this year, propably.

Early estimates (lol) were that it would only infect eighty percent of the population.

On average, if you are more careful than four out of five people, you won�t get it.

Of course, that�s just the average. :xcom:

# ¿ Mar 27, 2020 11:15

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

Another Bill posted:

https://twitter.com/bugcounter/status/1243319180851580929

Guy knows all about not letting food rot, acts like classic food safety guidelines applies to novel coronavirus.

He warns that handwashing doesn�t work as well as you thought, never considering that soap will gently caress up a coronavirus membrane more readily than a bacterium�s

Paradoxically, rinsing food with plain water is enough, which I would agree with if the worst on it is a little dirt, but maybe let�s reevaluate when there�s a comically infectious plague on the loose.

I had never even rinsed my produce before if it didn�t look like it needed it, and I have never had cause to regret that (i.e. gotten food poisoning), but yeah I�ve changed my ways temporarily.

# ¿ Mar 27, 2020 16:31

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

wyoak posted:

don't wash your food with soap it'll make you sick

Bananas, citrus, and mangoes get peeled. Apples I�m pretty sure wouldn�t retain enough soap to hurt me, but whatever, they can sit on the counter for a few days, like potatoes (which I do think would hold too much soap).

I�m not eating anything that both needs refrigeration and is eaten raw, like lettuce.

# ¿ Mar 27, 2020 16:45

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

Hadlock posted:

There's a pretty significant overlap of energy use between 4pm and 7pm as people transition from offices to homes

If the buildings are just set to "weekend" mode 24/7, even though people are occupying their houses full time, since there's no overlap, I can definitely see electric consumption going way, way down

There's a bunch of break room fridges not getting restocked, a lot of office washing machines not running, vending machines not getting restocked (how much power does it take to cool 200 cans of soda from room temp down to fridge temp?). Elevators not running. Heat pumps moving significantly less heat/humidity. Computers and displays are sleeping, which means less heat, which means less AC etc etc For every 10w of heat in a room, it takes ~2.5w of power to pump it out.... probably net 30%+ power savings

I would like to add that if rolling blackouts are necessary, the disruption can be kept low by targeting areas that are predominantly shuttered industry and commercial.

This will even cause a permanent drop in consumption as some computers and other equipment do not automatically restart after power loss.

# ¿ Mar 28, 2020 04:32

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

OMGVBFLOL posted:

can we tittyfuck the virus

The virus has been personified as an anime girl and there are body pillows of her.

# ¿ Mar 28, 2020 07:19

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

I just remembered that Brussels sprouts exist.

I�ve never hated them, but they�ve never been common in my diet.

Now I am thinking there are advantages to a leafy green vegetable that is served roasted.

:flame:

# ¿ Mar 28, 2020 12:39

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

Bleusilences posted:

I had a panic attack thinking that the virus might be able to hijack pollen for a ride, seems I was overthinking it.

quick edit: This is what started my train of though: https://www.cnbc.com/2020/03/18/coronavirus-lives-for-hours-in-air-particles-and-days-on-surfaces-new-us-study-shows.html

SARS‐CoV‐2 has impressive virulence, but Andromeda Strain it is not.

Even on those infested cruise ships, the virus never got to some people.

If you practice good hygiene, wear any mask you can, and don�t expose yourself if you don�t have to, you have a good chance of beating it.

If it is ultimately going to affect eighty percent of the population, then, on average all you have to do is be more careful than four out of five people.

That, my friend, is a low bar.

Hold yourself to a higher bar and bend statistics to your benefit as hard as you can, and you will get through this.

# ¿ Mar 29, 2020 06:46

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

Zero VGS posted:

N95 is for poors I got the good stuff lol

Buying extra spraypainting respirators 6 months ago is paying dividends now!

Mr.Pibbleton posted:

a 3M respirator is actually cheaper than 15 one day disposables and the filters can last up to 6 months in non-particulate heavy environments. Well, before the pandemic at any rate.

bob dobbs is dead posted:

yeah, i was talking about the respirator dealies bit i still have like 12 of those filter deals i bought october

feels a bit sad, don't want to donate them cuz infection

Respirators are great for protecting yourself, but take caution that they do little or nothing to protect others from an infected wearer.

This is one of several reasons that hospitals would rather have disposable N95 masks.

# ¿ Mar 29, 2020 06:50

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

Factory farming in the U.S. and elsewhere is absolutely disgusting, but given the sheer scale of hog/poultry/cattle farming versus exotic animal markets, it seems likely that the risk of zoonoses originating there is many orders of magnitude less, per animal, per gram of protein, per dollar, or however you want to measure it.

# ¿ Mar 29, 2020 07:34

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

Facebook Aunt posted:

Why is that?

Exhalation passes through a valve, not the filter media. The valve is under the 3M in that logo.

Andrast posted:

Those still block droplets when you cough, which is the main purpose of masks for normal people

Maybe.

Ccughs can be forceful, the opening is large, and it�s right in line with the mouth. Tape some fabric around the hole and now we�re talking.

Platystemon fucked around with this message at 10:09 on Mar 29, 2020

# ¿ Mar 29, 2020 10:01

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

Facebook Aunt posted:

Oh I see. When I was looking for some masks* a lot of the hardware store N95 masks had an exhalation valve like that.
eg.

So ones like this aren't great for disease control?

*for my mom who has asthma and ticks a lot of other boxes, but won't stay home because she has to walk her dog 40 times a day.

Here�s what CDC has to say about it:

quote:

My employees complain that Surgical N95 respirators are hot and uncomfortable � what can I do?

The requirements for surgical N95 respirators that make them resistant to high velocity streams of body fluids and help protect the sterile field can result in a design that has a higher breathing resistance (makes it more difficult to breath) than a typical N95 respirator. Also, surgical N95 respirators are designed without exhalation valves which are sometimes perceived as warmer inside the mask than typical N95 respirators. If you are receiving complaints, you may consider having employees who are not doing surgery, not working in a sterile field, or not potentially exposed to high velocity streams of body fluids wear a standard N95 with an exhalation valve.

My N95 respirator has an exhalation valve, is that okay?

An N95 respirator with an exhalation valve does provide the same level of protection to the wearer as one that does not have a valve. The presence of an exhalation valve reduces exhalation resistance, which makes it easier to breathe (exhale). Some users feel that a respirator with an exhalation valve keeps the face cooler and reduces moisture build up inside the facepiece. However, respirators with exhalation valves should not be used in situations where a sterile field must be maintained (e.g., during an invasive procedure in an operating or procedure room) because the exhalation valve allows unfiltered exhaled air to escape into the sterile field.

# ¿ Mar 29, 2020 10:10

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

Supposedly medical masks can have better seals around the face than hardware store models, but I�m sure there are good and bad in each category. The most important thing is technique.

You may know how to handle an N95 mask from experience, but three out of four people don�t.

Here�s Stanford�s guide on reusing them.

# ¿ Mar 29, 2020 10:13

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

Alan Smithee posted:

reading about surface lifespans, it can live for days on steel/plastic but copper kills it quick. Is there any accessible material better than copper?

Is silver accessible?

That�s the only thing likely to be better than copper and not some bespoke, nanoscale coating.

# ¿ Mar 29, 2020 11:53

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

Dixville posted:

Its a joke

Your wood is a joke all right.

# ¿ Mar 29, 2020 14:11

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

Alcohol and bleach probably don�t have the same deleterious effects on fabric masks as they do on commercial N95 masks, but I suppose that, in the absence of specific testing, better safe than sorry.

# ¿ Mar 29, 2020 15:16

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

Rime posted:

There were multiple attempts at a SARS-COV-1 vaccine over the past two decades, the ones which reached rodent trials all resulted in a considerably higher fatality rate than the virus itself. It'd be great if the media stopped calling this "coronavirus" and addressed it for what it is: a mutation of SARS.

I'm not saying a vaccine is impossible with the full weight of the world bearing down on the researchers now, just that most of the groundwork has already been done on this and come up against a brick wall. Repeatedly.

If they succeed maybe we'll learn something and actually start funding fusion research, too.

It�s not a mutation of SARS.

It�s more like a sibling of SARS, or perhaps a great (many) grand niece.

It emerged out of the same gene pool, but it is not a descendent.

# ¿ Mar 30, 2020 03:16

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

Bleusilences posted:

Well they though that this happened in a Hong Kong apartment complex back in February.

https://www.euronews.com/2020/02/12/coronavirus-outbreak-hong-kong-building-quarantined-amidst-fears-of-transmission-through-p

They couldn't find anything conclusive so it was by touching handles etc...

It definitely happened with Crystal SARS

You know your shitstorm is bad when the wind carries it to another building. :gonk:

quote:

The virus-laden air was then transported by prevailing winds to adjacent buildings at Amoy Gardens, where additional exposures occurred.

MOVIE MAJICK posted:

What does it mean if this pandemic increases your mental health?

We live in the shittiest possible cyberpunk dystopia.

# ¿ Mar 30, 2020 04:35

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

It�s only hoarding if it�s from the Eversong Woods region of the Eastern Kingdoms.

Otherwise it�s just sparkling night elves.

# ¿ Mar 30, 2020 08:39

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

It�s only hoarding if it�s attached to a castle.

Otherwise it�s jettying.

# ¿ Mar 30, 2020 08:42

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

Russia straight‐up ran out of booze on V‐E day.

# ¿ Mar 30, 2020 12:12

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

We have a thread for dumb fantasy weapons.

It�s the BUDK thread.

# ¿ Mar 30, 2020 13:32

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

GenericOverusedName posted:

Half wondering if I should look into getting a respirator just to block the plant jizz but I don't want to divert one away from the folks that actually need them right now.

Hospitals don�t have much use for replaceable-filter respirators, if you can get one of those.

I was able to get a half-face respirator body last week. No filters to go with it, but I had a spare set in the shop. I sent it to the highest-risk person I know.

Pollen will clog the filters eventually, but they�ll last forever on grocery runs.

# ¿ Mar 30, 2020 13:46

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

If elected, I will restore the DoD to its original name, the Department of War.

CDC returns to �Office of Malaria Control in War Areas�.

# ¿ Mar 30, 2020 14:02

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

Jostiband posted:

idiotic normies: lmao, what's with this puny CFR? only dumb gay babies care about this flu
roguelike players:

I know this is a zero effort meme, but it�s better than maskgate.

https://twitter.com/fujyno/status/1238155063283142656

# ¿ Mar 31, 2020 03:35

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

Influenza is not ISIS.

Other viruses didn�t see the novel coronavirus on the horizon and say �whelp, pack it up, y�all�.

The flu inflects others about as readily as the novel coronavirus, and it started with a much larger base of support.

I would still bet heavily on the flu in individual cases.

# ¿ Mar 31, 2020 03:49

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

Rolo posted:

My friend is a teacher who was educated in Ohio.

She thought London was in Paris.

A Tale of Two Cities, but the two cities are Rome and Vatican.

# ¿ Mar 31, 2020 04:17

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

Spinz posted:

Keep it quiet because absolutely Trump will get what passes for a boner

https://i.imgur.com/hgbXhgJ.mp4

# ¿ Mar 31, 2020 04:32

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

Yeah I�m not sure if that �trick� puts less pressure on the seal around the face (bad) or it it merely changes the path of the straps around the ears, which could be harmless.

# ¿ Mar 31, 2020 06:23

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

University of Florida: hold my aromatic plague herbs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KhgUCOhOCNM

I do believe that that is a cake pan serving as the controller housing.

# ¿ Mar 31, 2020 07:40

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# ¿ May 14, 2024 00:53

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

Living the life

# ¿ Mar 31, 2020 09:02

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