Let's Read Animorphs! The Whole Series! Ch-ch-ch-chaaanges

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Piell: Sep 3, 2006; Grey Worm's Ken doll-like groin throbbed with the anticipatory pleasure that only a slightly warm and moist piece of lemoncake could offer; Young Orc

Epicurius posted:

"Whumpf!"

Something hit me and I went sprawling across the dirt.

A man stood over me. A grown man! He had slammed into me. For some reason, this outraged me.

What kind of a creep would hit a girl half his size?

Of course I knew the answer. I knew the man was not really a man at all, but a Controller.

The Yeerk in his head didn't know or care about chivalry.

The man bent over me and began to put his hands around my throat. Suddenly, he only had one hand.

"Aaarrrgghhh!" he cried, falling back.

There is a zero percent chance this dude doesn't know at least one of the "Andalite bandits" is a human.

# ¿ Aug 6, 2020 15:52

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# ¿ May 11, 2024 10:25

Piell: Sep 3, 2006; Grey Worm's Ken doll-like groin throbbed with the anticipatory pleasure that only a slightly warm and moist piece of lemoncake could offer; Young Orc

Jake is the one who keeps the group together - it's not that he's the perfect leader, but he's the only one the others are all willing to listen to. If Jake is gone, Marco, Rachel, and Cassie are too fundamentally different in ideals and personality to stick together.

As far as Ax's Andalite homeworld morphs go, he probably does, but he never uses any.

# ¿ Aug 9, 2020 12:20

Piell: Sep 3, 2006; Grey Worm's Ken doll-like groin throbbed with the anticipatory pleasure that only a slightly warm and moist piece of lemoncake could offer; Young Orc

I really want to know what kind of shenanigans Marco had planned for if the guard wasn't a Controller.

# ¿ Aug 10, 2020 01:54

Piell: Sep 3, 2006; Grey Worm's Ken doll-like groin throbbed with the anticipatory pleasure that only a slightly warm and moist piece of lemoncake could offer; Young Orc

One thing that's neat that I don't think has been pointed out yet, but Cassie has never actually acquired a morph specifically for combat (at least so far). Cassie's morph in the first book battle scene is a horse. Her morph in this scene is a wolf, which was originally acquired for travel purposes.

Also Marco holding his own guts in is a pretty gross image.

# ¿ Aug 11, 2020 00:15

Piell: Sep 3, 2006; Grey Worm's Ken doll-like groin throbbed with the anticipatory pleasure that only a slightly warm and moist piece of lemoncake could offer; Young Orc

Starsnostars posted:

How well do these books line up with mainline titles? Do Marco or Ax use their mice morphs later on in those for example.

They almost never re-use morphs other than their combat morphs/bird morphs, no matter what book they got it in. The Megamorphs books are canon, however, unlike the Alternamorph CYOA ones.

# ¿ Aug 14, 2020 13:34

Piell: Sep 3, 2006; Grey Worm's Ken doll-like groin throbbed with the anticipatory pleasure that only a slightly warm and moist piece of lemoncake could offer; Young Orc

I like how Rachel's reaction to getting one paw chewed off is to immediately attack with the other paw.

# ¿ Aug 16, 2020 23:55

Piell: Sep 3, 2006; Grey Worm's Ken doll-like groin throbbed with the anticipatory pleasure that only a slightly warm and moist piece of lemoncake could offer; Young Orc

I think part of the problem in this book is that despite being longer there's still the same amount of plot as a regular Animorphs book, only we get to see most scenes twice from different POVs. IIRC the other megamorphs are better about not repeating so much.

# ¿ Aug 17, 2020 01:02

Piell: Sep 3, 2006; Grey Worm's Ken doll-like groin throbbed with the anticipatory pleasure that only a slightly warm and moist piece of lemoncake could offer; Young Orc

"Do you just HATE TRASH CANS?!!" is my favorite line from the entire series.

# ¿ Aug 21, 2020 02:01

Piell: Sep 3, 2006; Grey Worm's Ken doll-like groin throbbed with the anticipatory pleasure that only a slightly warm and moist piece of lemoncake could offer; Young Orc

Starsnostars posted:

Ax is really good so I'm looking forward to this one. Also, the book cover makes it look like Andalites are really small compared to how big I think they're supposed to be.

Andalites are about human height IIRC, and Ax is still a teen

# ¿ Aug 29, 2020 13:39

Piell: Sep 3, 2006; Grey Worm's Ken doll-like groin throbbed with the anticipatory pleasure that only a slightly warm and moist piece of lemoncake could offer; Young Orc

Epicurius posted:

Also, we get into the old "Humans are special because we advance really quickly" trope, which doesn't bother me, but I know a lot of people don't like. What do other people think about it?

ANOTHER SCORCHER posted:

I remember as a teen being bothered by the obvious socio-historical nonsense of this: how could any species invent computers prior to books? But maybe because Andalites use thought-speech it was less intuitive to turn those impressions and ideas into pictorial symbols. More likely it’s just a bit of 90s-era scholastic “Reading is fantastic!”

I’m somewhat willing to forgive it here because the other species aren’t just humans in funny faces but are distinct enough that their alternate development paths make sense. Andalites are telepathic grazers with 1/100th the population density of Earth, Hork-Bajir are engineered to be dumb, Taxxons I’m unsure were even technological before the Yeerks got to them, and the Yeerks are basically parasitic neural mats who only recently got uplifted technologically anyway.

Also Andalites are (spoilers for future Andalite culture info) kind of dumb as well. On top of that, they don't really organize well in large groups, they're basically all arrogant as hell, and they're very hierarchical and caste-oriented with warriors at the top. Andalite women are pushed to the scientific side but also Andalite society is also sexist and thinks women are inferior because they can't fight as well, so I'm sure attempted scientific advances got pushed over by some War-Prince demanding a tailblade on his ship so he can stab the Yeerk ships.

Piell fucked around with this message at 02:46 on Sep 2, 2020

# ¿ Sep 2, 2020 02:42

Piell: Sep 3, 2006; Grey Worm's Ken doll-like groin throbbed with the anticipatory pleasure that only a slightly warm and moist piece of lemoncake could offer; Young Orc

nine-gear crow posted:

There were kind of two inflection points that inextricably set things on the "things only get worse now" path, at least in the United States, and both came after Animorphs, and the 90s were effectively over: George W. Bush becoming POTUS, and 9/11 happening. The series came in for a landing at the perfect moment in history because 9/11 would have just t-boned it irrecoverably.

Especiallythe part where the animorphs fly a plane into a skyscraper in one of the later books

Piell fucked around with this message at 03:32 on Sep 2, 2020

# ¿ Sep 2, 2020 03:29

Piell: Sep 3, 2006; Grey Worm's Ken doll-like groin throbbed with the anticipatory pleasure that only a slightly warm and moist piece of lemoncake could offer; Young Orc

Comrade Blyatlov posted:

I... don't remember this at all.

nine-gear crow posted:

They steal a Bug Fighter at one point and are forced to ditch it before it crashes after it's shot down, I seem to recall.

No, they literally steal a jet and fly it into a building, jumping out of it in bird morph before it hits

# ¿ Sep 2, 2020 04:00

Piell: Sep 3, 2006; Grey Worm's Ken doll-like groin throbbed with the anticipatory pleasure that only a slightly warm and moist piece of lemoncake could offer; Young Orc

Comrade Blyatlov posted:

Can you give me the book number?

# ¿ Sep 2, 2020 04:02

Piell: Sep 3, 2006; Grey Worm's Ken doll-like groin throbbed with the anticipatory pleasure that only a slightly warm and moist piece of lemoncake could offer; Young Orc

Terror Sweat posted:

The books cannot stress enough that elfangor is the cooler brother

For a dude who never paid attention in class because he was too busy thinking about girls, Ax is a huge nerd. For god's sake he decided that the best thing he could do was to write a reference book about Earth.

# ¿ Sep 3, 2020 02:56

Piell: Sep 3, 2006; Grey Worm's Ken doll-like groin throbbed with the anticipatory pleasure that only a slightly warm and moist piece of lemoncake could offer; Young Orc

SardonicTyrant posted:

To be fair, they don't know humans that well, even up to this point in the series, so they wouldn't realize our leaders absolutely would sell us out for power.

Imagine what would happen if the Yeerks rolled up to Donald Trump and promised to guarantee him a second term.

# ¿ Sep 7, 2020 02:48

Piell: Sep 3, 2006; Grey Worm's Ken doll-like groin throbbed with the anticipatory pleasure that only a slightly warm and moist piece of lemoncake could offer; Young Orc

Fritzler posted:

Same, but related to this book 15 spoilers: I know they transform into parrots to harrass the rainforest cafe. Can they thoughtspeak as parrots?

Yes.

# ¿ Sep 8, 2020 15:24

Piell: Sep 3, 2006; Grey Worm's Ken doll-like groin throbbed with the anticipatory pleasure that only a slightly warm and moist piece of lemoncake could offer; Young Orc

Comrade Blyatlov posted:

You've got that one wrong, Nice is Neat is Cassie's mother trying to be cool.

You've got it wrong, Cassie lies to her mom that NIN stands for Nice is Neat so that she can get the CD

# ¿ Sep 17, 2020 01:09

Piell: Sep 3, 2006; Grey Worm's Ken doll-like groin throbbed with the anticipatory pleasure that only a slightly warm and moist piece of lemoncake could offer; Young Orc

On a scale from "smells good" to "skunk spray", rotten eggs are closer to the "smells good" side, and if you get sprayed it lingers for a longass time.

Piell fucked around with this message at 01:33 on Sep 17, 2020

# ¿ Sep 17, 2020 01:30

Piell: Sep 3, 2006; Grey Worm's Ken doll-like groin throbbed with the anticipatory pleasure that only a slightly warm and moist piece of lemoncake could offer; Young Orc

Comrade Blyatlov posted:

Let me rephrase that.

Is it "drop your weapons in the middle of a serious situation" type bad?

If you get hit in the face as they seem to have been, quite reasonably.

# ¿ Sep 17, 2020 01:40

Piell: Sep 3, 2006; Grey Worm's Ken doll-like groin throbbed with the anticipatory pleasure that only a slightly warm and moist piece of lemoncake could offer; Young Orc

disaster pastor posted:

This is a Good Book.

I thought it was the same model, who just got a haircut on his own?

From the wiki

"This book features Marco with a new, shorter hair style. This is because editor Tonya Alicia Martin called K.A. Applegate and said, "We have this really cute Marco model, but he has short hair." So Applegate agreed to give Marco a trim and had fun having the other characters tease him about it throughout this book. Marco continued to keep his hair short throughout the rest of the series."

# ¿ Sep 19, 2020 02:50

Piell: Sep 3, 2006; Grey Worm's Ken doll-like groin throbbed with the anticipatory pleasure that only a slightly warm and moist piece of lemoncake could offer; Young Orc

Ytlaya posted:

My only issue with this is that, IIRC, Ax mentioned humans having much stronger arms and/or fingers, but in the image the arms are basically around as big/muscular as human arms.

Yeah, Ax looks like this.

# ¿ Oct 3, 2020 22:23

Piell: Sep 3, 2006; Grey Worm's Ken doll-like groin throbbed with the anticipatory pleasure that only a slightly warm and moist piece of lemoncake could offer; Young Orc

SirSamVimes posted:

I mean even if we pretend the cover art doesn't exist, the books do mention him looking like a centaur.

Wrong, Andalites have no torso as clearly stated in the original solid description of Ax, later claims/images of a torso are a lie.

# ¿ Oct 4, 2020 00:55

Piell: Sep 3, 2006; Grey Worm's Ken doll-like groin throbbed with the anticipatory pleasure that only a slightly warm and moist piece of lemoncake could offer; Young Orc

FlocksOfMice posted:

Well, I DO remember the horny jail energies from this chapter at least.

Actual question, was Baywatch really a thing outside of memes that was like, popular with boys in the 90s? Or was it only something that existed in joke form? I have vague memories of guys talking about Pamela Anderson and being completely confused why she was considered the gold standard, I think, that's about it.

As someone who was a straight boy in the 90s, yes it was popular among boys at the time. Also Wikipedia says it was at one point the most popular show in the world.

Piell fucked around with this message at 01:48 on Nov 1, 2020

# ¿ Nov 1, 2020 01:46

Piell: Sep 3, 2006; Grey Worm's Ken doll-like groin throbbed with the anticipatory pleasure that only a slightly warm and moist piece of lemoncake could offer; Young Orc

"average person eats 3 spiders a year" factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Visser Three, who eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

# ¿ Nov 6, 2020 14:24

Piell: Sep 3, 2006; Grey Worm's Ken doll-like groin throbbed with the anticipatory pleasure that only a slightly warm and moist piece of lemoncake could offer; Young Orc

Andalite wars seem unlikely to me because A) they've had a one world government for a while and B) any disputes seem much more likely to be resolved by a duel between heads of state rather than a war

# ¿ Nov 16, 2020 14:53

Piell: Sep 3, 2006; Grey Worm's Ken doll-like groin throbbed with the anticipatory pleasure that only a slightly warm and moist piece of lemoncake could offer; Young Orc

feetnotes posted:

Not to go all "sharks aren't smooth" on you, but I think we can pretty officially and conclusively put this to rest. There are one or two descriptions that are ambiguous enough to cause confusion, but the text pretty clearly backs up the official artwork in lots of places. I took a sampling of expository 'Andalite appearance descriptions' from a few of the earlier books:

Finding Ax in book #4: He stood on four delicate hooves, looking, at first glance, like a pale blue and tan deer or antelope. But he had a strong upper body, like a mythical centaur, with two small arms and many-fingered hands. His face was almost triangular, built around two huge, almond-shaped eyes. There was a small vertical slit where his nose should have been, and nothing where his mouth should have been.

From book #6: It's amazing how quickly we'd all gotten used to the fact that this guy from another planet was with us. I barely even thought about the fact that an Andalite was standing there, looking like a cross between a blue deer, a mouthless human, a goat with eyes on the ends of his horns, and a scorpion.

From book #7: He looks like some odd cross of a human, a deer, and a scorpion. But not really like any of those things. His upper body and head are more or less the human-looking parts. He has thin arms and many-fingered hands. His face is flat, with slits for a nose and two large almond eyes. He has no mouth at all, which is why thought-speak is the natural language of Andalites.

From book #8, when Ax is describing himself: I am told that I look like a cross between a deer, a scorpion, and a human. I've seen deer in the woods, and I don't agree. For one thing, they have mouths and I don't. And they have only two eyes, while I have four.

From book #9: Up close he looks like a cross between a deer or a horse, and a human and a scorpion. Sort of like a mythical centaur. His upper body is like a boy�s. He has weak-looking arms and a head with two movable stalks on top, kind of like antlers. Each stalk has an eye. The eyes are constantly looking left and right and back.

I got tired of looking after this but I'm sure there are more. Alt-Andalite designs are fun though! But I think the text does pretty much back up the centaur comparison.

Counterpoint: Book 5 says: "From a distance you'd think he was a small horse or a deer. He has four hooved feet that flash with amazing speed. His upper body looks like a horse's neck and head, except that when he gets close enough, you see that he has two smaller, human-sized arms sticking out."

The original Andalite sketch is sort of halfway between both.
https://twitter.com/MichaelGrantBks/status/1118990778095693824

They do sort of have little T-Rex arms, though!

# ¿ Dec 2, 2020 03:45

Piell: Sep 3, 2006; Grey Worm's Ken doll-like groin throbbed with the anticipatory pleasure that only a slightly warm and moist piece of lemoncake could offer; Young Orc

This is my favorite book in the series, there's just a whole lot of great stuff in it.

# ¿ Dec 8, 2020 04:12

Piell: Sep 3, 2006; Grey Worm's Ken doll-like groin throbbed with the anticipatory pleasure that only a slightly warm and moist piece of lemoncake could offer; Young Orc

From Applegate: Here's how I pronounce them: Hork rhymes with "cork," and Bajir sounds like "buh-JEER";

# ¿ Dec 10, 2020 12:57

Piell: Sep 3, 2006; Grey Worm's Ken doll-like groin throbbed with the anticipatory pleasure that only a slightly warm and moist piece of lemoncake could offer; Young Orc

Epicurius posted:

So the next book is Book 14, the Unknown. It's a Cassie book, and it's....an unconventional one, just like Cassie.

Oh man I didn't realize my overall favorite book in the series and my favorite dumb book in the series came back to back.

# ¿ Dec 20, 2020 05:29

Piell: Sep 3, 2006; Grey Worm's Ken doll-like groin throbbed with the anticipatory pleasure that only a slightly warm and moist piece of lemoncake could offer; Young Orc

I love this book, it's incredible, literally every part of it is goofy as hell and very good

Piell fucked around with this message at 05:19 on Dec 21, 2020

# ¿ Dec 21, 2020 04:52

Piell: Sep 3, 2006; Grey Worm's Ken doll-like groin throbbed with the anticipatory pleasure that only a slightly warm and moist piece of lemoncake could offer; Young Orc

The circle of poop is now complete. They found out the horses were Controllers because of poop, the secret alien object was an alien toilet, and they are saved by Cassie pooping. This books is very dumb.

# ¿ Dec 31, 2020 08:31

Piell: Sep 3, 2006; Grey Worm's Ken doll-like groin throbbed with the anticipatory pleasure that only a slightly warm and moist piece of lemoncake could offer; Young Orc

Epicurius posted:

Yeerk computer warnings are extremely polite.

Look, after the third time Visser Three slashes the alarm speaker to pieces halfway through an announcement because it tried to tell him what do to, you make some changes.

# ¿ Jan 16, 2021 04:22

Piell: Sep 3, 2006; Grey Worm's Ken doll-like groin throbbed with the anticipatory pleasure that only a slightly warm and moist piece of lemoncake could offer; Young Orc

Comrade Blyatlov posted:

I just want to congratulate Yrkh8er on their spycraft. Absolutely magnificent work.

They said "Kill all Yeerks!" like five times, no way a Yeerk would say that

Piell fucked around with this message at 05:03 on Jan 20, 2021

# ¿ Jan 20, 2021 04:59

Piell: Sep 3, 2006; Grey Worm's Ken doll-like groin throbbed with the anticipatory pleasure that only a slightly warm and moist piece of lemoncake could offer; Young Orc

Eh it would just be a discord today and the kill all yeerks message would a gif with sparkly glitter font

# ¿ Jan 20, 2021 13:22

Piell: Sep 3, 2006; Grey Worm's Ken doll-like groin throbbed with the anticipatory pleasure that only a slightly warm and moist piece of lemoncake could offer; Young Orc

MrNemo posted:

It's a definite ethical question mark using sometimes DNA to turn into a physical copy of them but I kind of feel it's on the line of logging into someone else's Facebook or online bank. It's identity theft rather than enslavement and it feels weird how they keep equating the two.

The other thing is that they're going to be on the hook for anything you get seen doing in their body. If they, say, just walked in as morphed workers and started smashing poo poo, that person would go to jail for it (or be turned into a Controller, depending).

# ¿ Jan 24, 2021 13:04

Piell: Sep 3, 2006; Grey Worm's Ken doll-like groin throbbed with the anticipatory pleasure that only a slightly warm and moist piece of lemoncake could offer; Young Orc

rollick posted:

Maybe this is obvious to everyone, but I've forgotten: how old are they supposed to be at this point, and how much time has passed since book one?

Animorphs are 13ish at the start of the series, and probably not even a year has passed - the animorphs still aren't in high school yet (there's an explicit statement to that effect in a future book).

# ¿ Feb 4, 2021 18:53

Piell: Sep 3, 2006; Grey Worm's Ken doll-like groin throbbed with the anticipatory pleasure that only a slightly warm and moist piece of lemoncake could offer; Young Orc

Acebuckeye13 posted:

Just in the last book, it was all-but outright stated that humans don't survive the process not-Bill Gates used to extract the Yeerks from their brains, and if anyone would know how to get a Yeerk out of someone's body, it'd be him. Granted, he clearly didn't value the hosts' lives so there may have been some other method he wasn't using, but to the best of my knowledge no other way of getting a Yeerk out of someone's head is discovered throughout the series.

There was the Varnax from Book 2, which isn't clear if it kills the host or not.

Epicurius posted:

Where the Andalite head had been, there was now a long, thick tube. There was an opening like some horrible mouth at the end of the tube. The thing was purple, but translucent. You could almost see through it, although I wasn't sure if that was because it was a hologram, or if the animal itself was that way.

The hologram Visser lowered the tube-mouth toward Chapman's head. The mouth opened, revealing hundreds, maybe thousands, of tiny suck ers, each dripping slime.

It seemed as if the tube mouth closed over Chapman's head.

Chapman shook and quivered in terror.

Visser Three's artificial voice said, "Don't forget, Iniss two two six, I gave you this Chapman body. I placed you in his head because I trusted you. I fed you his brain and made you my lieutenant. But I can suck you back out again if you fail me. Would you like to see what happened to the last fool who failed me?"

Suddenly an image appeared in the air, like a little movie. It was a second hologram. It showed a human woman, pain-wracked, screaming, with the purple creature sucking on her head.

The real Chapman began to moan. "Oh, oh, no, Visser. I beg you."

In the little movie the translucent purple thing suddenly went into a spasm. From the woman's ear there came the slug . It was sucked, dripping, gray, slimy, right out of her head.

The purple creature swallowed the Yeerk slug.

Then the little movie ended.
"Not a very pretty picture, is it, Iniss two two six?"

Chapman just shook his head. His eyes were still staring at the empty air where the image had appeared.

Visser Three began to resume the Andalite form.

"Don't fail me," Visser Three said.

Suddenly Visser Three vanished. The room was dark again. Chapman sat hunched over the desk, with his head in his hands. It was a while before he opened the door and we both went back up the stairs.

Ms. Chapman was there, waiting. "What are the Visser's orders?" she asked in a whisper.

Chapman looked at her like he'd just seen a ghost. "He wants the Andalite bandits. He ... he morphed into a Vanarx. A Yeerkbane."

He kept his voice low, too. He glanced toward the stairs. I guess he was checking to see if Melissa was around.

Ms. Chapman shuddered. "I'd heard that he acquired a Vanarx. I always thought it was just another story to frighten his underlings."

"He showed me ... he showed how he de stroyed Iniss one seven four."

Ms. Chapman looked shocked. "He used a Vanarx on an Iniss of the second century?"

"That Andalite-Controlling scum," Chapman said viciously. "I wish the Council of Thirteen would find out what kind of a mess he's making on this planet. Let them take that Andalite body from him and throw him back in some distant pool on the home world."

"Don't wish for that," Ms. Chapman said grimly. "Long before Visser Three loses power, he will surely have destroyed you for failing him."

# ¿ Feb 7, 2021 05:16

Piell: Sep 3, 2006; Grey Worm's Ken doll-like groin throbbed with the anticipatory pleasure that only a slightly warm and moist piece of lemoncake could offer; Young Orc

I know it's a lot right now but I'm sure everyone will be happy soon.

# ¿ Feb 8, 2021 04:32

Piell: Sep 3, 2006; Grey Worm's Ken doll-like groin throbbed with the anticipatory pleasure that only a slightly warm and moist piece of lemoncake could offer; Young Orc

rollick posted:

Couldn't they just...dig with a shovel? This feels like the most convoluted plan since getting sucked up by a water intake system as fish.

When all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a morph opportunity.

# ¿ Feb 10, 2021 13:33

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# ¿ May 11, 2024 10:25

Piell: Sep 3, 2006; Grey Worm's Ken doll-like groin throbbed with the anticipatory pleasure that only a slightly warm and moist piece of lemoncake could offer; Young Orc

Why would random Yeerks know what a morphing cube looks like

# ¿ Apr 9, 2021 20:11

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Let's Read Animorphs! The Whole Series! Ch-ch-ch-chaaanges

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